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Workwear sales of note for 6.07.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off purchase
- Boden – 20% off new styles
- Eloquii – Up to 50% off everything
- Express – Extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off: 100s of new styles added
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 40% off dresses; 30% off full-price styles; extra 40% off sale styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Extra 25% off sale styles
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – Everything is buy 1 get 1 50% off
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
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A member of our office services staff has started regularly asking me if he can borrow $5 or $10 as we get close to pay day. He always pays me back promptly on the next pay day, but I’m starting to feel a little squidgy about being this guy’s payday lender. That said, I imagine he makes peanuts and this is a HCOLA, and I can certainly spare $10 for a week. I don’t know what he uses the money for – there’s enough free food in this office to feed an army (and support staff is encouraged to help themselves), so I’m guessing he uses the money for cigarettes or maybe public transit? I don’t know, and I guess it doesn’t really matter what he uses it for. He and I don’t have a relationship besides him bringing me my copies occasionally and hallway hellos. Would you feel a little weird about this? I’ve thought of just telling him, “Sorry, I don’t have any cash today,” but I’m wondering since he’s always so prompt about returning the money, and he clearly needs it for something or he wouldn’t ask, if I should just loan it to him after all.
Omg definitely stop. You are in no way obligated to loan him money, even if he pays you right back, and especially if it makes you uncomfortable.
My ex was kind of like this guy, but he always borrowed money from me, and did NOT pay me back! What a loser he was! Do not loan money to him any more.
Inspired By Hermione
Uh, yeah, stop. This sets a very bad precedent. Even if he needs it, you are not a bank and $10 could very well turn into $20 and $50 and “my car broke down and I need $200.” Or more. This is not good. It will be awkward to get out of it but it’s going to be ten thousand times more awkward if he borrows any amount and doesn’t pay you back.
I’ll go a step farther and say it’s inappropriate to do this, especially if you’re an attorney. You are this person’s boss, sort of, but you are not the one signing his paycheck. So is he asking you this as employee to boss, in which case he should direct this request elsewhere (to get an advance on his pay)? Or is he asking a favor of a friend, in which case this crosses a boundary with a subordinate? This seems more like friend territory to me, except you’re not friends, so it’s just weird and boundary blurring. And I say all this not to chastise you but to hopefully assuage your conscience when you tell him no.
It’s a small kindness, he doesn’t make much, you’re in a HCOL area, and he pays you back. You can always say no to higher amounts. I’d personally keep doing it.
+1 – a little kindness never hurt anybody. And if he ever does not pay you back – you’re only out $10.
I agree – -it’s a small thing and as long as it stays a small thing (which you can decide) then it doesn’t need to be a big deal. Choosing kindness and decency and not worrying about “boundary blurring” wins my vote.
Agree 100%. If you feel taken advantage, stop. Otherwise, when did helping another person become a bad thing?
You don’t have to lend him money if you don’t want to lend him money. Simple as that. Just say, “I can’t lend you money anymore, I’m sorry. Hey, wanna go grab some of that delicious free food?”
Because of my background, I might go a step further than just saying no. It’s certainly not your job to teach him a life lesson, but then again he IS asking you for money, so if it were me I’d say “hey, it’s weird that you’re asking me for money since I basically don’t know you. There is plenty of food to eat here so I assume you’re spending it on something else. Do you have friends you can borrow money from? It isn’t really appropriate to constantly be borrowing money from a colleague. If you need a payday advance you can ask your boss about that.” I’d probably try to word it more politely.
I grew up poor, but was taught that money is for saving. In fact I borrowed money in college like it was nbd until someone pointed out that it was kinda weird that I was always bumming $5 when we went to do stuff (also, I had $5 to spare – I just preferred if I could borrow it). Honestly, I don’t think the amount is as odd as the frequency and the fact that you barely know him. Also, it’s 2019. Does he really not have Venmo and college friends? It sort of seems like he’s just using you as a convenience.
OMG I would not lecture him. Lend him the money or not, but for heaven’s sake please don’t make a federal case out of it, especially since the OP has already made several loans. Even if it’s a lesson he needs to learn, I don’t think it’s the OP’s place to make a big ol’ speech about it.
+10000. Also OP’s comment that he is probably “using it for cigarettes” or even public transit (the horror!) – because of course that’s what poor-er support staff use $5-10 on that they have to ask their colleagues for to get through till payday. Cmon people. This is sickening.
This is repulsive.
Ew. Don’t say any of this. There’s a real streak of cruelty in this: “I don’t even know you; don’t you have any friends??”
This is so gross and horribly out of touch.
I would stop doing this right away.
If you still want to do something for him maybe leave a Walmart or Target gift card on his desk anonymously?
I’m torn between seeing this as a small kindness and seeing this as inappropriately using you as a bank. I’d feel uncomfortable with the situation. If you want to get out of the cycle, after the next time he pays you back, you could tell him you appreciate the prompt paybacks, but can’t loan him money anymore. That way, he knows not to count on you if it’s money for the next few days’ metro fare (or something else important). I agree with others not to loan larger sums of money.
Really? He pays you back, you can afford it, and he makes peanuts?
Keep lending. Don’t be so judgey.
If it’s concerning, ask him what he needs it for. Is there something you can help him with so he’s not in that situation anymore?
Has anyone done a high-end bathroom renovation? What’s your shower situation – steam? Jets? Looking for inspiration…
I did one last year. Steam doesn’t seem to be done that much (at least in our suburban area). We did a multiple jet shower (rain shower, handheld, and two retractible jets) and soaking tub (long, deep and rectangular). Jacuzzis also seem to be out of fashion now.
The previous owners of our house put in side jets in addition to an overhead “rain” type shower head. They looked great in the realtor photos/house tour. But in the 6 years we’ve lived here, we have honestly used the side jets exactly 3 times…they’re simply not practical for daily living. Our shower also has river rock on the floor; feels great on the feet (kind of massaging), but a total pain to maintain (clean/seal)
Never too many shoes...
Really? I have three wall jets and the overhead rain shower, plus a bench, and I use the jets every time I shower. I honestly wish I had gone for six – they are great for sore muscles and general stress relief.
Same here, I love the jets. Rain shower, notsomuch, but my husband loves it. (I think it’s because I’m so short that the water has cooled off and lost its water pressure by the time it gets to me. He’s a foot taller so it’s not an issue for him.) And we have river rock on the floor and love it. (Ours is a dark color and is remarkably forgiving when it comes to cleaning.)
Also when we re-do the second bath for me I’m totally putting in a leg-shaving station with a place to put my foot and a small tap to rinse off my razor.
I hate my rain shower so much! It’s so hard to keep water out of the shower cap the days I don’t wash my hair. And I hate how to get my hair really clean I have to submerge my face completely in the water. But my husband loves it so go figure. In my dream world we’d have a wall mounted option as well.
Pleb question, but what’s the deal with jets? Do they shoot out hard? Like, FWOOOSH and slam onto the other wall of the shower? Like the jets in a jacuzzi but without the surrounding water? And then you move your body around on them to get sprayed? Isn’t it overwhelming?
Never too many shoes...
RH – mine can be adjusted for more or less pressure. Generally, yes, whoosh out hard. Not to be too graphic about it, but sometimes that is what a woman wants.
I used to have an enclosed steam room, and I’ve never had such healthy sinuses or comfortable joints. Sadly, your can’t read while relaxing in there ;).
Personally, I would absolutely install one in my dream bathroom. But I know nothing about resale or trends.
My dream bathroom includes a sauna and a steam room!! One day…
I’d love to add a steam shower to our bathroom. The handheld wand with an extra-long hose is really useful for bathing kids/dogs, cleaning the bench, rinsing off feet, etc. I like a powerful spray and I’ve never found the overhead rain showers to be suitably pressurized. Wall jets do a better job.
FWIW regarding rain-shower heads…It’s really, really hard to shower with this feature if you don’t plan on washing your hair. (Or maybe it’s just me?!) I only wash my hair 2-3 times a week but I shower every day. I never mastered the art of having the water only hit my body.
Yeah if you get one it should be controlled independently of the regular shower head and the jets.
+1 I hate rainshower heads (not that I use a shower with one often). I don’t wash my hair every (or even most) days, but do shower every day. I have used a shower that had both a rain-shower head and a hose that was set at the usual height angle, and you could pick which one the water came out of. Seemed like a nice compromise. But make sure you’ve got the option (if that matters to you)
We did a large, wall-mounted head plus a 2nd head that slides up and down on a rail in the shower, times two for dual showering. A corner shelf for leg shaving, and built-in shelves for shampoo.
Oh, and it’s popular to put a shelf or a niche front and center with fancy contrasting tile. Problem is, once you have your shampoo and stuff in it it doesn’t look nearly as nice. Next time I’m putting it in a more unobtrusive location.
Okay. Stupid question. Can someone please explain pants to me? Or tell me I’m being weird? I wear jeans and casual skirts/dresses 99% of the time. I’m changing roles soon and will be working in an environment where (just go with me on this) pants will be more suitable. I have never found a pair of pants that I feel are flattering. Even when something’s a good cut for me, I’m just not comfortable with the lumps and bumps fabrics lighter than denim tent to expose. Linings help, but I live in the Southwest, so linings are not going to work for me most of the year.
What’s the dress code – can you wear jeans? Or can you go with pants that have a comparable weight to denim? So twills/dark colored chinos, vs lighter weight gabardine fabrics?
When sewing, there is this concept of bottomweight fabrics – fabrics that suitable for use in pants/skirts. These are usually more substantial and have more body (and less drape) than fabrics used for tops. I think women’s pants tend to go for fabrics with more drape, because that can be more accomodating/flattering to the curves/topography of a women’s body. So if you need pants, I’d pay attention to the fabric type as well as the cut. the less drapy fabrics are going to read as more casual, I think.
Not a stupid question at all. I am you, except that I’m 1 year into a “pants required” gig (wamp wamp). Is there any way you could wear colored denim? If that’s not an option, I’d shop for lined wool pants in summer weight (I live in TX so I know wool sounds unbearable but it’s really nice) or just higher-end pants in general will be more flattering/weighty fabric than something you’d buy at H&M. Not bashing H&M at all – just a different drape/feel to say BR or Theory pants.
The only smart trousers I have tried that I like on my body are the Boden Richmond trousers. Something about the fit and fabric just works. Worth a try?
Definitely experiment with different cuts. I’ve pretty much universally hated the pants that are sold as part of suits, but I can look pretty cute in some high waisted dealies, or something with a taller (?) waistband… but it also just takes a lot of getting used to. I am bad at pants and just avoid them, so I don’t think the question is stupid at all.
What shape are you? I am a pear and like the ponte pants from NYDJ and Anne Klein. They don’t cling.
If you’ve got Teva-and-cargo pants style on the weekends, how do you interpret that for work and still feel like yourself?
I don’t. This is not an option for me.
Birks and Patagonia/Prana or similar dresses. But I’m in academia where the dress code is “not naked”
I don’t think you can. You could sub the cargos for chinos, which are dressier, but they have a distinctly different vibe.
HAHAHA I’m gonna assume this is a tr0ll post, but well done
My coworker wears technical pants in neutral colors (the least outdoorsy of the available styles but still technical) to our business casual office every day. How you interpret that style for work probably depends on what it means to you — is it the outdoorsiness? The androgyny? You can spin either of those into an office appropriate look, with variations for formality (granted here in the northwest it’s pretty common to have either an outdoorsy or androgynous look at work) . Perhaps prana type dresses, perhaps technical fabrics in office appropriate cuts, perhaps a lot of linen and wool…
I suggest cropped trousers or culottes + brogues or loafers. Comfortable, a similar silhouette and androgynous vibe.
Oooh, me! I work in a conservative business environment and have done the following:
1) Technical gear under a suit, when I can get away with it (I’m wearing a Lulu running shirt now under a blazer)
2) Outdoors jewelry (ribbon bracelet, necklaces)
3) Completely unprofessional water bottle with stickers. Same for laptop.
4) Outdoors hair (braids and buns)
5) When I can, I carry a backpack rather than a purse. Helps to bike in when I can.
We are considering moving to Denver from Australia because of a job. I would love to hear recommendations of nice and safe areas that are not too far away from Greenwood Village? I like what I hear about Cherry Creek but would prefer to pay a little bit less (looking for at least three bedrooms, either an apartment or a house). We have kids so an elementary school is also a relevant consideration! Thanks!!