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Usually I don't go for these kinds of things — very self-help, cutesy sort of message jewelry — but I think an arm full of them looks really great and I think they can be lovely if they help you get through the day. A few messages they have are “She believed she could so she did,” “Enjoy the journey,” and “I love you to the moon and back.” Maybe it's just my Facebook feed, but I kind of wish they had one that was a little more revolutionary, like “Live, love, resist,” which was actually on a holiday card I got from friends — but that's just me right now. They're available in yellow gold, rose gold, and silver for $25-$35 at Nordstrom. MantraBand
Update: and if you are in more of a revolutionary mood, Etsy of course has something similar that says “I am the resistance.”
(L-all)
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Hey, for the poster last week all excited about the stock market under Trump, how you liking the Dow now?
anon
If there’s anything less productive than feeding a troll, it’s starting a new thread on a new day to re-open old arguments with a troll.
Anonymous
Meh, I think it’s funny.
Sloan Sabbith
Hahahaha.
NotOP
Actually, she was excited about the stock market. She didn’t say anything about Trump.
Ellen
Fooey on stock market watchers I say. I am invested for the LONG TERM, Dad says, so what happens today or tomorow does NOT matter. I also do NOT even know what the President has to do with the Stock Market. Dad says that the President does NOT invest in stock’s any way.
I DO wonder what the attorney general does. Isn’t the attorney general suposed to ENFORCE the law? I supose it matters if the law is valid, b/c if it IS, then the attorney general IS suposed to enforce the law. Personaly, I am Troubled over an article I read in the NY Times Editorial Page, entitled “ALLIES IN COMBAT, NOW UNWANTED”. I say that if someone help’s us overseas, we OWE it to them to HELP THEM GET HERE. It does NOT matter if they are IRAQI. They help us, we help them. FOOEY on someone who does NOT agree with me. I have an opinion too, and my opinion MUST be heard. RAWR!!!!!
silly questions from inexperienced traveler
Novice traveler here with a few logistical questions about an upcoming trip to Europe – thanks very much in advance:
1) I have a chip + signature credit cards; will I be able to use these (I’m reading that most Europeans have chip + pin)? If not, can I use a chip debit card which has a pin, or does it really need to be a chip + pin credit card?
2) If I try to use cash for small purchases, is the 3% foreign transaction fee on my credit card reasonable to just accept for big expenses or should I really be applying for a new card without it?
3) Is it critical to buy a SIM card abroad for my phone, or can I just rely on wifi where available and accept that I will be not making phone calls?
Anonymous
Not sure about 1, since I haven’t been in a couple of years. My chip + signature card worked fine the last time I was there though.
For 2) I think it’s the opposite – a 3% transaction fee is a much bigger deal for a big purchase than a small purchase. If there’s time, definitely apply for a no-fee card before your trip, especially if you anticipate making major purchases. There are tons.
3) You’ll be fine with just wifi. It’s available in almost all hotels and many restaurants, museums, etc. You can download Google maps to use even when you’re offline.
Amanda
1) you can use your standard card, usually. the businesses will hand you the card reader to put in your pin, but you can tell them no pin – generally, the receipt to sign will print out automatically. People will be confused at first, but will figure it out eventually.
2) I have a card without foreign fees – Capital One. I think it’s definitely worth it if the card doesn’t have an annual fee.
3) I think it’s tough to find wifi a lot of places. I can usually go without my phone and just use it in the evenings/mornings at the hotel. There are some good apps – like City Maps – that you can download maps and it will still track your location through the GPS (which doesn’t need a cell or wifi signal to work). If you’re not using your phone during the day, it does require more planning, since you may not be able to just google everything, but I don’t mind.
kag
1. It shouldn’t be a problem. However, take some cash with you to have as an emergency fund. Also, always bring multiple cards, so for example one Visa and one Master Card or, even better, Maestro debit card. There’s high chance that at least one of them would work (that’s not Europe specific advice).
2. 3% is quite a lot, but it also depends on the exchange rate on your card, how much you travel and how much are the card fees.
3. It varies by destination, but you can buy local SIM card for less than 5$. Some tourist cities have free wifi in the entire city centre. Also, do you want to be able to use wifi for Google Maps, etc.?
Anonymous
1) It’ll work unless you’re at some automated machine, like trying to buy gas at an unmanned gas station in Iceland (if it’s manned, you can go inside and buy it OK). IF you’re going to a restaurant or shopping, you’re fine.
2) Just get a card with no fees. Capital one has one with no foreign transaction fees and no member fees.
rosie
Yeah, I would say if you are going to be driving, you might see if you can get a pin for your chip card. The gas can be a problem–we ran into this issue when a gas station was closed (seemingly oddly early in the evening) so you could only pay at the pump with chip + pin cards. Also, tolls–either you have to have cash (and I remember one toll going from Aix-en-Provence to Nice was really expensive) or a chip + pin to use a card, at least at that toll.
Anonymous
I use my Mastercard all the time with my PIN. (Austria/Germany/Italy). I used my card all the time and didn’t worry about the service charges. I can’t be bothered to carry a lot of cash beyond a few bills for coffee etc. I hate carrying large bills because I worry more about pickpocketing then and I just want to relax on vacation.
Different countries are different about credit cards. Lots of places in Italy took credit cards whereas in Austria it was common for shops to either not take cards or have a fee for taking cards unless the purchase was above a certain fairly large amount.
Scarlett
I have a Chase chip card & that’s been fine (it also waives foreign transaction fees and has other benefits, so worth looking into). Check with your carrier & see what options are available. For a lot of European countries, Verizon offers a $10/day pass that allows you to have the same access you would at home (talk/text/network, etc.). I presume other carriers must have something similar.
Scarlett
PS – I personally find it extra critical to have web access when traveling as I need to look things up a lot more & you can’t always predict where you’ll be in the course of a day to make using your phone at a hotel w/ screenshots of maps a reliable way to get around.
silly questions from inexperienced traveler
Thank you all so much for the helpful replies; very much appreciated!
Duchess
Call your call carrier and tell them where you are going. I have Sprint, and I have called them and said I’m going to Ireland, France, and the Netherlands. They added a package to my account at no cost to me so I could use my phone in each of those countries. Then, they gave me step-by-step instructions to make sure I was using the correct data network so I wouldn’t incur any additional costs. I was able to text, make and receive phone calls, and use all of my data like normal.
Torin
Was just going to suggest this.
Some carriers, TMobile and GoogleFi at the very least, allow you to text and use data abroad in some countries with no extra fee. Calls are expensive, but most of my phone use is data and text based anyway. A few years back when I was on AT&T I did what Duchess suggested and added an international plan temporarily before traveling to Sweden and was able to use my phone freely while I was there for work. I think it was slightly expensive — I want to say $60 for two weeks — but it included unlimited talk because I was there for work and needed to actually talk on it.
emeralds
Another pro tip, if you’re at all worried about being able to access funds: contact your US bank and request to withdraw a few hundred bucks in your destination country’s currency. National banks should be able to provide common currencies like the euro or pound same-day; if you’re going to countries that don’t use the euro or pound, they may need a bit more time to order your currency. It’s great to have that peace of mind if you do run into an issue with your cards while you’re there.
Oh, and I’m sure you know this, but make sure you call each of your cards to let them know your itinerary, so your cards don’t get locked for fraud.
Terry
You can download city maps to your phone using the app Ulmon. GPS works with these maps (for reasons known only to phone companies and God, GPS works and is free overseas while phone/data often have compatibility problems and are paid.)
EM84
European here
1) Debit/credit card with a chip is fine. Most of the markets also accept contact-less payments, see whether your card has the symbol on it (the symbol looks like wifi waves).
2) 3% sound a lot to me, but then again, I am EU based. My bank did not charge any extra fees for my payments while travelling in the US.
3) If you only need data connection, free wifi is nearly everywhere.
I never do any phonecalls home while travelling abroad – I use messaging apps. If you need to make calls, check your roaming fees and then decide. Local SIMs are cheap and may be a good option. Do not buy them at the airport ( they might overcharge you), buy them once you are in the city (look for TMobile, Vodafone, O2, Orange…). Btw your phone might not be compatible with EU SIMs. Just check in advance.
Download all necessary docs/maps, so that they can be used in offline regime.
enjoy your trip!
Ethical Issues
I am a first year at a big 4 firm. I am not in audit but currently helping out with something related to one. It is just me and senior manager, who works remotely, on this client. The work doenj last year was not thorough and going through everything again, I realized that a risky situation had not been caught. A year later that risk is no longer relevant, but it was present for at least 6 months. This is in addition to several other instances that seemed “on the line”. I may be new or naive, but at this point it is clear that work was one at least in a careless manner. What do I do?
I may leave the firm anyways for unrelated reasons within the next year, and this feels wrong enough to me that even if I am unable to do anything internally, I would want to tell the client. They may not care either, but if there was a major problem it could slip through the cracks here.
Forgive any typos please, on m yphone
Anonymous
Tell the senior manager. Do not tell the client unless directed to by the senior manager/person in charge of the project.
NY CPA
Big 4-er here as well. +1. Do not speak to the client about it without being directed to do so by your sr. manager (and possibly your partner).
Ellen
I so agree. Tho I am NOT an acountant, there are paralells. I would tell the manageing partner in the law area, so whoever is the equivelent, you tell him/her, b/c they will BLAME YOU after the fact if leave. That is what happened to me when I was serving supeenies. I always did thing’s by the book, but Bill, the guy who I worked with often just tossed them in the recycle bins on the street. When there was an issue, I was asked about the ones he threw out, and I told the boss that he had thrown them in the recycling bin. Bill was mad, but I did NOT want to take the blame for illegal service under NYCPLR 308. Neither should you.
MJ
I would also consider speaking with a senior associate you have a good relationship with (even if not on the client) or any type of ombudsperson if these issues are very severe. It could be that they are not, but you should “act junior” and say that you weren’t quite sure how to handle this, because it’s sensitive, and you don’t have enough experience to know if these are serious red flags or not.
Ethical Issues
I don’t have a senior on this project. I’ve talked to other people though and I know I’m not these are legitimate issues. I’ll tell the senior manager but if he says “oh thats fine” then nothing happens.
To all who are saying dont tell the client ever – if you found serious issues and it wasn’t going anywhere you wouldn’t bring it up outside the firm? Didn’t mean to misrepresent; I wouldn’t do that for quite a while in any case, and only if completely shut down within the firm. And probably wouldn’t do it anyways.
Ethical Issues
know these are legitimate issues*
AZCPA
I know you are concerned with this, and I absolutely don’t want to minimize your concerns. But…as a first year, especially when you are “helping out” vs being on an audit path, it is possible there are things going on outside your view, as well as other factors influencing the issue you are concerned about. It would be far better if whoever was in charge on the job took the time to explain it to you rather than just telling you it isn’t an issue, but it happens. Frequently. I swore that when I was a manager I’d never do that to a staff, but then I had a very sensitive situation with all sorts of confidentiality concerns, and I had to.
Document your concerns, but no, don’t even take it directly to the client.
Ethical Concerns
I was never going to take it directly to the client. When I first noticed this I did assume it must be something I just didn’t realize, but I have talked to others above me and this is in fact an issue. The person who did not do what needed to be done last year was either my senior manager or the consultant under his purview, who has since left the firm. He must have either been fine with it or didn’t review things at all. I am going to bring it up with him, but not expecting much.
The work I am doing is audit adjacent, but I am doing the entire project on my own which is why I don’t have anyone outside the senior manager to go to.
The people I’ve spoken with about this problem are from my team for another client. Not ideal perhaps, but this senior manager is often hard to reach, so it happens.
If the first year last year was in the same situation I am in right now I can certainly understand how all this happened
Anonymous
If they say it’s fine, then it actually is fine, at least for you. You did your due diligence in reporting it to the senior manager (save the email) and the onus is on the person who formally owns the project. Sometimes mistakes happen and it’s ok. If the risk is no longer relevant, was never realized, and there are no requirements to report it, then there is no action to take. If you’re in a murkier ethical situation for some reason that is not clear, talk to your manager, a mentor, or your ethics officer on how it should be handled if you think the senior manager is behaving unethically. That will tell you if anything further should be done.
Ethical Issue
Okay, thank you. I actually was going to wait to do it on the phone in case a paper trail was too in his face or something, but an email would make me feel much better.
The email would pretty much have to be “I had a question regarding X and Y. I spoke with [senior who is tangentially involved] and she indicated that the were not done in 2015. Is that correct?”
anonforthis
If by first year you genuinely mean first year staff…do not bring it up to anyone beyond your immediate supervisor on your client–which may be a senior or may be a senior manager as it sounds in your case. It’s a situation that you may not have sufficient perspective into to be able to say that the work was insufficient. You’re not in a position of taking any risk based on your description here, so I’d probably just file this as something you need more information on.
Also this is terrible but I can assure you that in my experience you would be mocked. It’s not because you don’t want what is best for your firm or your client, I think it is just because you don’t have enough experience to form an opinion on whether work was sufficient or not at your stage.
Ethical Concerns
Yeah I’ve noticed I would be mocked. Don’t worry I’m leaving the field soon. Sure, I understand how the world is, don’t need the millenial speech, but
it’s a little disgusting how much a profession
that revolves around accuracy seems to let go.
Everyone here seems to be saying my judgement is invalid. Sure, I’m inexperienced, but I have also been tasked to do this project and make the judgements myself in this case, so whatever it may be, this firm
is issuing something based on said judgment.
Ethical Concerns
In any case I’ve sent the most polite,
completely non accusatory, “curious
little first year is just wondering
what is going on” email to my senior manager,
we will see tomorrow.
Accounting nerd
As a fellow accounting professional (wrapping up the CPA exam) and millennial I understand your frustration with the perceived lack of attention this issue. That being said, I second that without more experience and information regarding this issue there are likely things you are not seeing or do not have the experience to fully understand the situation. Regarding your comment about a profession concerned with accuracy you may want to review the concepts of cost/benefit constraints and materiality. Together they impact many major accounting and audits decisions. If you plan to stay in this profession, you will have to get comfortable with accepting higher ups decisions unless it is clear that they are attempting to commit (or coerce you to commit) fraud.
Anon for this
Looking for advice on how to honor/celebrate a friend’s upcoming 10-year sobriety anniversary. In a nutshell, she previously used drugs and drank heavily, which resulted in a few convictions. She’s turned her life around, getting her G.E.D., going to college and a top law school. Our paths crossed on pro bono prisoner defense work, which she is hugely committed to given her experience. She’s extremely open about her past with both co-workers and friends, so I’d appreciate insight on how you would recognize it as both a coworker and a friend. I am certain I want to honor it but I have no experience with sobriety accomplishments so I want to make sure whatever I do is appropriately sensitive and respectful of any boundaries. Thanks!
Anonymous
spa day together?
BeenThatGuy
I think flowers and a card might fit the situation. You’re a good friend for wanting to be respectful of her boundaries. I’ve seen those in recovery not want to celebrate the anniversary (except in a meeting), no matter now many years sober they have, because they feel like it’s a very fragile thing.
pugsnbourbon
I remember when my aunt reached a milestone anniversary of her sobriety, my mom got her flowers. You are a good friend.
Wildkitten
Depending on the sobriety, it’s called a birthday, and so I like to send a birthday card. Birthday spa day sounds appropriate too.
New Tampanian
Something small and thoughtful done discreetly. I know you say she’s open about it but it is such a deeply personal thing that not making a giant deal about it is best.
If there is a particular activity or cause that she took up in place of the substance abuse, maybe something related to that.
Hatch/ Ethics
Reposting from a late addition to the morning thread, with an update:
I am a clerk in a federal “specialty” court that does not deal with immigration, criminal justice, or other such hot-button issues. I am extremely concerned about recent political events and I participated in the Women’s March and a couple of local rallies in support of refugees. My social media is totally locked down if you aren’t my “friend,” but I do make a lot of political posts (visible only to friends), and my profile pic is currently me holding a sign at the Women’s March (update: changed it to a plain photo). I think I’m okay under the Hatch Act, but is there an ethics issue if my judge is unlikely (verging on 100% certainty) never to face these issues in court? If something legally crazy happened and we did face the issue, I would certainly discuss with the judge and recuse myself if appropriate. FWIW we have discussed politics and the judge is very much in agreement with my stances, but we haven’t specifically discussed the Women’s March or other activism.
Update: I decided the best thing to do was just talk to my judge about it, and s/he said s/he does not consider women’s and refugee rights to be “political” issues in the sense that I should avoid them. Just take reasonable precautions with social media. Related: my judge was already signed up to co-sponsor a Syrian refugee family who is now barred from the country. Needless to say, s/he is very supportive.
I’m still curious to hear what others think about this as I’m sure we have a lot of former clerks, federal employees, etc.
No
The fact that your judge happens to align with you politically does not remove your duty of impartiality. You aren’t impartial.
Wildkitten
As a fed you can’t, for example, be at the airport filing habeas petitions agains the USA because they are your employer/client. I don’t see a problem with attending marches in favor of broad topics like women, the constitution, religious freedom, etc, but I’d be mindful of what you sign said and what your posts say so that you stay away from directly commenting on issues that might come up in your work. Your court should be able to provide guidance on what is kosher and what is crossing the line.
Squash Blossoms
I’m also a government employee who is politically active on social media. Consider slightly altering your name on Facebook. It makes your profile much harder to find unless someone has the specific information to go looking for it.
Anon
So, today marks two months of being unemployed. My division was shut down for reasons that nothing to do with performance, and we were all let go. Since then, I have interviewed for four jobs. One ghosted on me after I made it to the final round of interviews. The second told me that their decision came down to me and someone else, and they went with the other person. The third told me that I was a strong candidate but not quite the right fit for the position. The fourth hasn’t gotten back to me yet, but it’s looking more and more likely like I didn’t get it.
Basically, I’m just really discouraged. Does anyone who has been through a similar situation have stories about light at the end of the tunnel?
anon
I feel your pain. I was laid off from my last job unexpectedly. I was hopeful at first because I landed a bunch of interviews that looked promising. The process dragged out and the rejections came in one by one. I must have interviewed at 10 different companies in person over the course of four and a half months. I’ve never had such an arduous job search. The last week of unemployment, I had in-person interviews at four different organizations. It was so stressful emotionally. Some of the people grilled me about why I got laid off and others didn’t ask a single question about it. One executive talked to me about how “weaker” employees usually get laid off first and that I would need to “lean forward” to be successful in the future. Those kinds of comments were frustrating, but what did he really know about my situation? I just had to be polite and work through it.
It did work out, and now I love my job. I wasn’t always sure I would. We all want quick fixes but if you are applying to competitive jobs, it usually does take some time to find the right fit. Don’t take it personally. The effort you put in now will pay off later.
hoola hoopa
Four in two months seems really good, actually.
When I was in the exact same boat, someone told me that it takes approx one month of job searching per $10k of income. It made me feel like I was more on track – and was almost exactly correct in the end.
I landed in a perfect-for-me position. I wouldn’t have had the guts to jump if I hadn’t been laid off, so even though it was so scary to be unemployed for so long, it was well worth it.
Stick with it! The right job is out there.
Wildkitten
I’ve been unemployed for 3 months under similar circumstances and have had 5 interviews at 4 locations but no job offer yet. I’ve really only been looking for two months – the first month I curled up in a ball and cried a lot. Honestly, that’s a lot of interviews and if you’ve made it to the final two in so many, you just need to have a few more so you can be the one who happens to get picked that time. So yes, it sucks, but your experience is actually really encouraging from an impartial perspective. I hate that employers always take so much longer than we’d like them to!
CKB
I was laid off unexpectedly a couple of years ago. I was getting discouraged in my job search because I hadn’t had any interviews for a few weeks. I got a call, had a phone screening interview, 2 days later had a second interview, got a call the next day that I got the job, and started the next week. I went from zero prospects to starting my new job in about 10 days.
So, hang in there! Job searching sucks, but you never know what’s going to happen!
Anon
I have one of these that I bought a couple of weeks back trying to get through a very difficult situation. This is my first piece of jewelry with this kind of messaging on it. These are very sleek and well made, $25 is a bit pricey for a stainless steel band.
Ginger
I bought something like this on Etsy recently. It is a bit corny, but I was feeling really worried about our country (USA), and sad about Hillary’s loss, so I ordered one that says, “Still stronger together.” Only my husband knows, that is how silly I feel needing this talisman, but I do like it. If it dies, I may have a nicer one made. And I also ordered a [cat] hat, although I admit I am not sure I will ever be brave enough to wear it outside.
anon
I have a black Waverly skirt in XS from MM LaFleur that doesn’t exactly fit me and I’d like to sell it. Where’s the easiest/best place to do this online with the highest probability of a quick sale? It’s never been worn and the tags are still attached.
Anon
Similarly, I have the Nikki dress in a medium and my tailor told me to give up, I just needed to get a smaller size. Would love to sell it.
Beans
Tradesy? I’ve had decent luck selling.
Anonymous
Depending on how much you’d be willing to discount it, I could buy it from you directly and just PayPal you (unless you’re in NYC in which case I could pick up)… otherwise, Poshmark?
I’ll check this post later tonight in case you respond!
anon OP
Yeah, I can discount it! I was thinking about posting it at $150 (I think I paid 190 for it), would that work for you?
anon OP
I’m open to discounting it further. If you’re still interested, let me know what you prefer.
Anonymous
Err… closer to $100ish? Needs to be worth it to give up the ability to return if it doesn’t fit me either… I turned on notifications for this post so I’ll get an email if you respond to this. Sorry for the delay!
If you’re in NYC I could pay you in cash this weekend!
Anonymous
Oh but if you’re in NYC I could try it on, actually! In which case there’s lower risk…
Anyway, how about $120?
anon OP
yeah, I’ll do 120. I’d love to get rid of this, so that’s cool. I’m in DC, though- how should we arrange this exchange?
anon OP
you can email me at happygabi06@hotmail to figure the rest out if you’d like!
Anon
Has anyone seen a script for calling your representative about Bannon and the NSC? I’m just sick about this. I want to ask them to speak out loudly against this, but is there anything they can actually do? Anything concrete I should ask them to DO to oppose it?
Anon
A 20 year old intern is likely to answer the phone. Maybe a 22 year old staff assistant. All you need to say is “I’m a constituent and I’m opposed to President Trump’s personnel moves on the National Security Council.”
In my office, when we had hot button issues and the phones were ringing off the hook, we had to give up on trying to record actual comments and simply kept a notepad with a tally – a tick mark for for and against. (I mean literally ringing off the hook where we were being phone-banked by major organizations.) What I’m saying is that you won’t be having an in-depth conversation with the intern on the other end of the line. The goal of calling your reps these days is to simply mass enough phone calls for the rep to understand where his/her constituents stand.
Anon
+1 I’m a former congressional staffer. In general, I think that people are too worried about what to say when they call their reps. As Anon said, it’s either an intern or a early 20-something answering the phone, and you’re one of hundreds of phone calls per week.
Sloan Sabbith
I called the Mayor’s office last week to support something he’d said we would do as a city, and the intern/young person that answered the phone literally said “At this point, we’re just tallying support/non-support on a whiteboard, but we appreciate the call, thank you for not yelling at me.” So, don’t yell, just tell them how you feel. They don’t have time to do anythign else right now.
SW
I copied this from a friend’s Facebook page, but I think it is the most helpful “script” I have seen so far.
More tips to help with phone anxiety, copied from someone who used work on Capitol Hill answering phones. (Thanks, Kerry.)
(**And save your senators’ and reps’ numbers in your phone for 4 years of speed dial…**)
“Friends! As some of you know, I used to work on Capitol Hill as the person in charge of all the incoming phone calls to my Senator’s office. I have some insider tips to make calling your reps easier and quicker.
1. Give your name, city, and zip code, and say “I don’t need a response.” That way, they can quickly confirm you are a constituent, and that they can tally you down without taking the time to input you into a response database.
2. PLEASE ONLY CALL YOUR OWN REPRESENTATIVES! Your tally will not be marked down unless you can rattle off a city and zip from the state, or are calling from an in-state area code. I know you really want to give Mitch McConnell a piece of your mind, but your call will be ignored unless you can provide a zip from Kentucky. And don’t try to make this up; I could often tell who was lying before I even picked up the phone from the caller ID. Exceptions to this are things like Paul Ryan’s ACA poll.
3. State the issue, state your position. “I am opposed to a ban on Muslims entering the US.” “I am in favor of stricter gun control legislation including background checks.” “I am in favor of the Affordable Care Act.” That’s it. That’s all we write down so we can get a tally of who is in favor, who is against. It doesn’t matter WHY you hold that opinion. The more people calling, the less detail they write down. Help them out by being simple and direct.
4. Please be nice! The people answering the phones on Capitol Hill already had the hardest job in DC and some of the lowest pay as well, and for a month now their jobs have become absolute murder, with nonstop calls for 9 hours every day. Thank them for their hard work answering the phones, because without them our Senators could not represent us.
What does this sound like?
“Hi, my name is Mark, I’m a constituent from Seattle, zip code 98***, I don’t need a response. I am opposed to any ban on Muslims entering the United States and I encourage the Senator to please oppose implementation of any such ban. Thanks for your hard work answering the phones!”
This is how I wish every caller had phrased their message. It makes it easier for the people answering the phones and takes less time and emotion than a long script. I know that you want to say why, but keeping it short and sweet helps the office answer more calls per hour, meaning more people get heard. The bigger the tally, the more powerful our voice.
Also, when you’re reading off the same script as 100 other callers that day… well…they can tell.
Pick one issue each day, use this format (I am in favor of _____ or I oppose ______), and call your 2 Senators and 1 Representative on their DC and State Office lines, and you’ll be on your way to being heard.”
Anon
I’m the first Anon above: yup to this.
hoola hoopa
Not OP, but thanks to you all. This is so helpful to me, as someone who has never been on the other side of the phone.
Hill staffer
This is great!
anon
I hope my representatives don’t ignore my calls just because of caller ID. I’ve moved a bunch of times but never felt the need to change my number.
Anonymous
I have an out-of-state area code (from my hometown, where I haven’t lived for 10+ years), and my reps’ offices still picked up.
NOLA
I have an out of state area code and I just explained to the staffer that my cell number is from Katrina. He just wanted my name and zip code. It wasn’t an issue.
Anon
This is so so so helpful. Thank you!!
Monday
This site is very helpful for scrips, but also compiles just about all info you could need for making calls: https://5calls.org/
Not Cool
Hey coworker! How about you stay home if you have the stomach flu? Even better, how about you don’t ask your colleague to drive to the off site meeting and then inform her half way to your destination that you threw up in the bushes outside of the building immediately prior to getting in her car.
Anonymous
Are you sure it’s not morning sickness?
Not Cool
It’s a dude, so , not morning sickness. He actually said he has the stomach flu…
I’m pregnant right now myself and am very sympathetic to morning sickness (solidarity).
ELS
Oh god. Then yes, he should stay home. Use his own PTO and not everyone else’s.
Anonymous
Yikes. What a jerk.
Cb
Oh no! That’s horrible. I’m immunocompromised and pregnant and I’d lose my crap if someone was wilfully exposing people to illness. I threw up in a hedge this evening, but it was morning (ha, if only) sickness.
Anon
I went in to work with the flu today. I didn’t ask anyone to drive me anywhere and warned everyone to stay well away from me. And I definitely didn’t go near any pregnant women. But 1) I really could not miss a scheduled meeting and 2) it’s all one PTO bucket and mine is woefully small.
Yes, be mad at me all you want. But also be mad at corporate policies and culture. I literally sat in bed this morning debating if I sounded sick enough to be believable if I called out sick, or if I’d get the “you’re not that sick” blowback for missing the meeting. Plus calculating whether I can afford a PTO day already in Jan, when I know I’ll need to be out later this year for a week-long recovery period for my son’s illness.
Anon
I agree its hard. I get 20 days of leave a year, but no sick leave or any other kind of leave, and no leave rolls from year to year. And no we aren’t allowed to work from home even if you are sick. It can be hard to decide to stay home when you’re sick and contagious but not so sick you can’t work. So while its pretty generous in theory, in practice its not that long if you want to take a 2 week vacation during the year and have some leave left over for a wedding or two and a few sick days and then its all gone.
Not Cool
I get it too, we get 10-15 days for vacation and sick leave. I’m hoarding mine so I can get some pay during my FMLA leave. We all work through colds here. I would not be upset at all if he had a cold. But the stomach flu is a whole different ball game in my book. Also, if I’m out with it for a week, that cuts my maternity leave short by a week as well. I’m plenty unhappy about the system, but the stomach flu isn’t something you risk passing along.
Walnut
I’m not going to “blame” corporate policies in culture when you are making the decision to come to work with the flu when you have available PTO to use, but just prefer not to.
I’m also pregnant and am counting my days closely, as I do not have enough PTO in my bank to take a full maternity leave. That said, I’m still staying home when I am contagious. I don’t think it is fair to infect my coworkers who will in turn take it home to their families, etc.
In-House in Texas
I’m in-house and am going to a court-mandated mediation and I need to get settlement authority from the business. Does anyone have a framework or suggestions for what that should look like? I’m thinking a summary of the case, the fact that the mediation has been mandated, how much we’ve spent thus far in outside counsel, and how much we think the case is worth? Oh, and what the plaintiff is asking for? Any suggestions are appreciated. Thanks!
JTX
Yes, all the things you listed, plus the strengths and weaknesses of the case (basically just your justification for the amount of authority you are requesting). Also get a budget from your outside counsel on how much they think they’d spend through trial.
Shopaholic
I think I would also include what you think your overall exposure could be (not necessarily what you think the case is worth and not what the plaintiff is asking for, but what’s reality like if the plaintiff wins).
Torin
Yes this.
OP I give these recommendations all the time and my assessment of what a case is “worth” is usually a combination of the value of any claims that I believe have merit plus what I believe a case would cost to take to trial (either based on my general experience or based on an estimate from outside counsel). I present that value alongside what the plaintiff is demanding on all claims, including meritless ones, and then discuss what kind of settlement is reasonable based on those two numbers and any other relevant risk factors (i.e. the judge in this case is best friends with plaintiff’s counsel; the jury is likely to be friendly or unfriendly; the judge is a moron; the judge is really smart; potential negative precedent in other similar cases; future need to do business with this party etc. etc.).
Anon
Curious as to what everyone thinks of Uber CEO’s involvement with Trump and the #deleteuber debacle?
Anon for this
I deleted Uber for not standing with the NYC taxis protesting at JFK. I downloaded Lyft for their support. On the flip side though, I do realize innocent people could be landing at the airport with no way to get out if there was no public transportation.
Lana
I deleted my account and wrote why on the form. I received an email back, the majority of which was: “We share your concern that this ban will impact many thousands of innocent people. That’s why Uber is committed to financially compensating drivers affected by the ban, so that they can continue to support their families while they are prevented from returning to the US. ”
I appreciate that response. However, I didn’t love Uber as a company for a number of reasons before and I’m happy with Lyft for donating to the ACLU, so I’m switching my business (though it is unlikely to make any kind of difference because I rarely use the service).
Marshmallow
I’m a frequent Uber user, not sure what the best move is here. I’ve never tried Lyft but now might be the time.
Wildkitten
Try it. It really depends on your locality how easy it is to use. When I was in a flyover state it would’ve been really hard to only have one of the services, because I’d have to check both to find a car, but now that I’m in big cities I’m happy to be able to deleteuber for all the reasons Lana stated.
Senior Attorney
I changed a while back (when Uber took a gigantic bucketload of money from the government of Saudi Arabia) and in my experience the exact same people drive for both Uber and Lyft so it’s just as convenient but I am supporting the corporation I want to support instead of the one I don’t.
Anon
I don’t like what they did, but I am exhausted by literally every single flipping thing being a partisan issue. The shoes you wear, the type of transportation you use, whatever. I think it’s just another way to continue to dig in our partisan heels and drive a wedge between people. So now only republicans take uber and democrats take lyft? Will my bean boots that I’ve had for years make a statement? Do I need to throw those into a landfill now to make sure you all know how liberal I am because only republicans own bean boots? I have to choose my battles, and this is not going to be one of them.
Anon
+1 I am not moving my 8 accounts from Wells Fargo. Sorry, I just am not. I am volunteering, and calling my reps/senators, and doing other things, but I am just not that sussed about WF.
Wildkitten
I only do it when it’s easy. So I shopped at lululemon when they were the only place with athleisure but now that there are so many options, it’s just as easy to buy from Athleta. I’d use Uber when it was the only thing in my city, but now it’s just as easy to use Lyft. Moving eight accounts from WF is a really hard thing to do, so I totally get not taking that particular action. There’s a lot of terrible in the world and we have limited bandwidth to fight it all.
ELS
I don’t think the ban is a partisan issue, at all. Especially as it was initially rolled out, and applied to current visa and green card holders with status in this country.
Many, many of my Republican friends are also upset about the ban. Again: it’s not a partisan issue. It’s a civil rights/due process issue.
ELS
ETA: I don’t care if someone deletes or doesn’t the app, however. You do you, I’ll do me, and it’ll work out. I don’t use either Lyft or Uber, so *shrug.*
Anonymous
The ban is a humanitarian issue. Humans are against the ban and Nazi’s are for it. Whether deleting Uber makes a difference there is up for debate but I donated to the ACLU.
Lana
Even though I posted above about deleting uber, I think there is a lot of merit to this sentiment. I think it’s important to not judge others for what they choose to do in response to things. For example, I would not mind if a friend called an uber for us. I’ll send my messages (in whatever way) to companies, but I don’t expect others to do the same.
That said, I try to share positive company news with friends, but not negative stories. I messaged some friends this morning that I was happy to stop by Starbucks today. It’s hard to keep up with all of the corporate news, so sometimes it helps if a friend tells you that a particular one is doing good things.
Anon
I didn’t mean the ban was a partisan issue, I mean using uber is now a partisan issue. I can’t even keep track of what I’m supposed to be outraged about anymore on a consumer level.
Things I’m outraged about: a ban on Muslims, Betsy DeVos, anything related to Bannon, etc.
Things I’m not outraged about: uber, starbucks, ll bean, lands end
That’s where I am. It seems like this is a whole lot of drawing lines in the sand. I have the energy to contact my representatives about issues and give to causes I support. I don’t have the energy to be enraged about and then boycott the latest trendy-to-boycott place of the moment, and it seems like there is a new one every day. Maybe it’s because I live in a red state and have a number of more conservative friends that I am interested in maintaining friendships with. I am not going to refuse to uber home with them after a fun night out. Like I said, I’m picking my battles.
Anonymous
I’m a little torn, because locally Uber just donated a ton of money that equates to a year of services to get women in jeopardy to shelters. So I hear what everyone is saying about the bad stuff they’re doing, but they’re also doing a great thing in my city.
Anon
So, maybe I’ve missed something, but how is what Uber did so horrible? I think it’s conceivable that they weren’t trying to break up the strike (if they were really trying to break up the strike, wouldn’t they have turned on surge pricing so that more Uber drivers would have been gotten on the roads? People would have been even more annoyed if Uber had turned on surge pricing to profit off of the taxi drivers’ strike.). And maybe I’m cynical, but I think that when people started getting annoyed that Uber didn’t shut down service to JFK entirely, Lyft saw an opportunity to galvanize public opinion against their rival by making a huge public donation/statement about their opposition to the ban.
Uber has since come out with a lot of details about how they’re going to help drivers who are affected and such. They have other questionable practices for sure, but for me, this incident doesn’t justify deleting the app.
Yes
+1 to this. They specifically turned off surge pricing during the strike so that innocent people wouldn’t have to pay more for transportation. If you’re boycotting them for that, what did you want them to do? Leave surge pricing in place? Then you’d accuse them of profiting off of the refugee crisis. Did you want them to strike too? How should innocent people get home from the airport? It is super shortsighted and sanctimonious to delete Uber for this.
Anonymous
The point is that no one is innocent. That is part of strikes and civil disobedience. And the strike was short, to make a point.
Sharon
Do you guys not get that the presence of Uber facilitated protesters getting to airports?
Jo March
+1 My understanding is the same as Anon above
Plus, Lyft also operated to JFK during the strike. I think Uber is getting more flack for it because their CEO is on Trump’s Business panel
Anon
I didn’t delete my Uber app. I travel 50% for work, have used them probably 50+ times and have a 4.8 rider rating (I peeked at the driver’s app). I don’t want to be in the situation of not being able to get a ride. But mostly, it’s not the drivers’ fault, and that’s who will be primarily hurt by the delete Uber movement.
JayJay
Totally unrelated, but you can find your own rating on your app.
Anon
How?
Anonymous
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+do+i+check+my+uber+rider+rating
Sydney Bristow
I have a friend who works for Uber and she shared the CEO’s statement on Facebook before the strike began where he said that Uber would be paying US drivers who were stuck outside of the US, which I thought was a good thing. A few hours later I started seeing all the #DeleteUber stuff. I have a problem with the company taking the money from Saudi Arabia too. But as a company it seems they do both good and bad things, like I assume most other companies do as well.
Personally, I’ve never used Uber aside from being a passenger in a car that someone else ordered. My concern is that this is all a distraction. Fighting over Uber versus Lyft isn’t the big issue. We should be united in trying to fight Trump’s immigration decisions.
I’m not normally one who says that there are more important things to worry about. We all have our own priorities. But literally everyone who is upset over this and doing the #DeleteUber thing is also upset about Trump’s immigration policy and we should focus on that.
I said before that I’m reading the second book in the Fall of Giants series by Ken Follet, which has to do with WWII. I just finished a section where kids from Russia and England go to Spain to fight the fascists, but a subset of the Russians are more focused on fighting with those who are supposed to be their allies and how that hurt the cause. We need to focus on the common enemy here instead of fighting amongst ourselves.
Sydney Bristow
Should have added that I don’t mean people shouldn’t delete Uber and tell them why. By all means, do that if that is how you feel! I just mean that over the past 24 hours I’ve seen a significant amount of fighting over this…so much that it seems to be taking away from the focus that was on Trump’s order.
Sloan Sabbith
Can’t get through to my representative or senator’s office- no surprise, since they were on the front lines of protesting this weekend and my entire city is completely beside themselves about the Muslim ban. But in a weird way, I was thrilled that I couldn’t get through- means that people are doing what we should be doing!
Nabby
That’s how I felt during the women’s march in DC. We were on the “overflow” street and told that the march was turned into a rally because there were too many people. Who cares if I can’t participate fully, goal
accomplished!
We ultimately were able to get onto the mall etc
Anon
Same! My representatives are Dianne Feinstein, Kamala Harris and Barbara Lee, so I already knew they were on my side. But I wanted to lend my support anyway, and was delighted not to be able to get through.
nutella
More experience in-house attorneys, lend me your wisdom please!
I was previously in biglaw, which took care of our CLE requirements and pro bono as well. I am in-house now and the company pays for my malpractice insurance, but we pay our own bar dues and take care of CLEs (when we aren’t invited to free ones by outside counsel).
Is there an issue with me going to the airports to lend legal aid? I am the only lawyer friend who is not at a firm, where these opportunities are set up through established links at the firm and included in their hours. Do I need to clear it internally due to my malpractice insurance being paid by the company?
Betty
Do you have malpractice insurance or are you covered by the corporate E&O policy? If it is the later, then you do not have malpractice insurance to cover anything that you may do at the airport. I would call your local legal aid (or local immigration legal aid, if possible) and ask if you can help and be covered by their malpractice insurance.
ChiLaw
I agree with this advice. I suspect that the legal aid org would cover you under their banner.
Torin
I also agree with this advice. I’m in house but a former litigator, and I wouldn’t personally represent anyone in court of any kind in my current position.
I have however signed up with the ACLU to do any tasks they might need help with remotely (research, filling out forms, drafting documents, whatever). I think they’re probably too slammed to even get my application for awhile, but this is something I want to do longer term as well so I can just wait.
EE
Warning, political post ahead.
I think Trump is bigoted and dangerous in many ways. That said, I don’t think the horrendously executed Executive Order constitutes a “Muslim ban” and am trying to understand why people are calling it this. From my perspective, it seems factually incorrect, and so easy to refute by the right that it makes the left look bad. I don’t want the right to have examples like this to point to when they’re accused of playing fast and loose with the truth. Do people throwing around the term have a different view? I am aware Giuliani used the term in explaining how they arrived at the current EO, which does not apply specific religious tests.
Anonymous
congrats. You read Trumps talking points. A ban based on the majority religion of a country is a religious ban. The goal is anti Muslim. Clearly and explicitly.
Anon
Snarky comments like these are why others post anonymously. Asking for clarification or an explanation or other point of viewpoint should hardly merit a dismissive response.
CHJ
He said he wanted to ban Muslims, Giuliani said publicly that Trump asked him how to do a Muslim ban, and Trump himself called it a ban on Twitter this morning. If you want to reallllllly split hairs you could call it “the closest thing to a Muslim ban Trump could do with plausible deniability and without affecting countries where he does business” but is it really necessary to use all those extra words?
Wildkitten
It blocks people from majority muslim countries, unless they are a member of a minority religion. That’s what makes it a muslim ban.
Blonde Lawyer
The ban excludes members of a minority religion facing persecution. Since the countries banned are all Muslim, that means Christians from those countries can come while Muslims cannot. He has also been tweeting about how we should support the Christians because they have had bad things happen to them.
Anonymama
Because in coming up with the policy, the administration literally started with Trump’s desire for a Muslim ban and tried to figure out how to get close to doing it while making it sound as legal as possible. They picked immigrants from majority-Muslim countries that just do not have the political sway to be able to respond, not countries that actually provide the greatest threats, while also explicitly saying that they would give preferences to religious minorities from those countries, which practically means Christians would get preference over Muslims.
Anon
If you ban all of the Muslims from 7 different countries from coming to the United States, then you’ve instituted a Muslim ban. Sure, it’s not every Muslim in the world, but it’s still a ban on a lot of Muslims, hence the term “Muslim ban.”
AnonZ
As people have said above, it prioritizes Christians due to them being a “minority” religion.
If you were fleeing for your life from a country, having packed up your family and whatever belongings you can carry, and you knew that checking the “Christianity” box on a form would get you priority, would you check it? Would you trust that each person is being absolutely honest about their religion, or would you think that the government should evaluate their piety and religious beliefs as part of their “extreme vetting”.
So then the United States is confronted with having to verify that these people are “real” Christians in order to ensure they are prioritizing appropriately. How do they do that? Who decides who is Christian “enough”? Do you want to live in a country that is administering religious purity tests? That is a theocracy. That is in absolute opposition to the founding principles of the country.
nutella
Would like to note that this interrogation was done with the Jews under the Spanish Inquisition from ohhhh 500 years ago. The rule was “be Christian or get out.” Many stayed and converted and even changed their names to ultra Christian last names to prove their piety, lest they be tortured (i.e. new last names such as Santa Cruz or Gracia, these are called conversos). To this day, there are many Spanish Catholic families that maintain family traditions with links to the Jewish faith without even knowing it.
…Just how do you test someone’s faith?
Sydney Bristow
This was dealt with in an episode of The West Wing called Shibboleth. It is so complicated.
former fed clerk
Ugh. When you make a proposition, YOU support it with facts.
Basically what you’ve done in this post is say “well I don’t think it’s a Muslim ban. Tell me why I’m wrong” (in the face of obvious signs that it is). It’s a poor debating tactic (and especially tired on the internet) and it’s very poor form. If you really can’t figure out why people are calling this a Muslim ban, nothing that anyone says here is going to help you.
Also, ‘throwing around the term?’ Come on. Your post is dripping in condescension and a lack of intellectual curiosity and that’s why I don’t think you are serious.
Anon
That is so not true. This is way to harsh and critical. Reactions like this are what makes people unwilling to ask questions.
Lilac
No. Its logic 101, following basic rules and best practices is not too much to ask. You can’t have a coherent debate if people aren’t following logical structure
Anon
You can’t have a coherent debate if a question is met with “your post is dripping in condescension and a lack of intellectual curiosity.”
former fed clerk
Nah, I don’t think it is. Maybe you do. I really don’t care at this point. I’m familiar enough with this type of “just asking questions!” conversation style to note it when I see it. The phrase “throwing around the term” is dismissive and you know it. I’m just over it.
How would you react if someone said:
“I think society is sexist in many ways. That said, I don’t think the wage gap exists and am trying to understand why people are saying it does. From my perspective, it seems factually incorrect, and so easy to refute by the right that it makes the left look bad. I don’t want the right to have examples like this to point to when they’re accused of playing fast and loose with the truth. Do people throwing around the term have a different view? I mean, discrimination based on gender is already illegal.”
Anon
I would react by thinking that said person had a viewpoint, but was nevertheless seeking other viewpoints. I would not take offense to it.
Do not assume that others take offense at what you do. Also, “The phrase “throwing around the term” is dismissive and you know it” is dangerously presumptive. I, and not you, will decide was is dismissive to me.
Anonymous
I get what the OP is asking. To many, a ban implies all….
So maybe this is just semantics here.
nutella
Read this article: https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2016/12/america-already-had-a-muslim-registry/511214/
There were (and I imagine this time around, too, given how hastily this was launched) massive problems in communication. Thousands of people were detained for failure to comply with ongoing requirements, which were never explained or told to them. How do you comply when you have no idea what is required of you? Also consider the fact that under the old program many Lebanese were treated differently; Lebanon has a large population of Christians, particularly in comparison to other neighboring countries. Christians were sometimes (although not always) treated differently from their Muslim brothers. THIS is a problem and is clear discrimination.
It’s a shame; Giuliani went from being much admired for his leadership post-9/11 to becoming a barking head. It’s hard to understand how someone with legal training, employed by a big law firm could forget he’s supposed to cover up the unconstitutional discriminatory bias in the story he told (i.e., we want to ban Muslims, but how can we get away with it?)
Also important to note that the average Syrian refugee (putting aside the duty in responding to humanitarian crises, as explained by Angela Merkel, and the fact that 78% of Syrian refugees are women or children) already undergoes ‘extreme vetting.’ They wait an average of 18-24 months to gain approval for admission to the US, undergoing 21 steps, starting with petitioning the UN. From there, there are continued security checks, and then continual screens after they arrive. By the way, the US is taking a mere fraction of what other European countries (many, many times smaller than ours) of refugees. It is ON TOP OF THIS that the NSEERS-reboot will have continuous tracking (again, little communication of what is required, making it near impossible to be in compliance), and it is very hard to legally ask questions that have to do with one’s faith.
If in your mind you understand the difference between Westboro Baptist Church and the KKK from other white Christians (like your granny), you should be able to differentiate the difference between ISIS and jihadists with Muslims. Simply asking “do you believe in Allah” (or do you believe in Jesus Christ?) does not accomplish any goals of safety and instead violates a lot of constitutional provisions and established human rights.
Anon
Apparently, they were also asking what they thought of Trump. That is so scary I almost can’t process it.
Nabby
The answer is “he’s an idiotic monster” right?
Anonymama
Yes, trying to ascertain someone’s loyalty to a partisan political figure is really such a dangerous path to tread. That combined with Trump’s allusions to rewarding states/voters who supported him and punishing those that didn’t are so completely counter to what this country stands for.
Anon
Hey Op, check out this: http://thefederalist.com/2017/01/30/heres-trumps-immigration-order-says-needs-fixed/
Anon
Muslim Americans are devastated and it feels like a slap in the face.
Cord Cutting
Those of you who have “cut the cord” with regards to TV, what did you do to replace it? I only have one choice for internet, my current cable company, so I’ll have to get that through them. Otherwise, I already have a Netflix and Amazon Prime accounts. How do you watch sports?
Amanda
I think sports is the main reason people don’t do it. There isn’t anything out there right now that let’s you watch live sports other than cable. Although, I believe you can buy the NFL package from DirectTV if you are in an area where you cannot get a dish, such as New York City.
Anon
Sling has sports, but I haven’t tried it.
Hulu and Netflix are about all I need.
Anonymous
I used Sling TV to watch the Olympics. It’s a streaming service you can cancel at any time (monthly subscription fee). There’s a sports focused package that gives you the ESPNs, FoxSports,and such, and I believe it also gives you the standard network channels (which you should also be to get over the air with an antenna anyway).
Otherwise, I’m Hulu and Netflix. I have an Amazon FireStick, which means I can access Prime (if I wanted to pay for it) and other rent/buy options from Amazon.
Walnut
We watch primarily college sports and have successfully used both Playstation Vue and Sling. We are currently using Playstation Vue because it has the particular channels we are using at the better price.
Walnut
We watch primarily college sports have have used both Playstation Vue and Sling. We are currently using Playstation Vue because it has the channels we are currently watching at a lower price point than Sling.
CHJ
You can get a high-quality HD antenna for about $60 that will let you watch all network TV, including sports. For cable sports, you can get individual subscriptions to the NFL or MLB. There are other services like SlingTV that let you stream network TV for a monthly fee, too, but I haven’t tried them.
hoola hoopa
We don’t watch sports. Ditto that sports is really what’s keeping people tied to cable.
That said, a friend has used his Apple TV at my house to watch live games. I don’t know details though.
Anonymous
We watch live sports and cable channels (infrequently) through our Apple TV thanks to a family member loaning us their cable password to log into the apps. If you have a family member or friend willing to do this for you it’s a great option (with or without an antenna).
Anonymous
Using someone else’s ID is against the contract they signed. It’s also stealing.
Anonymous
I don’t watch sports weekly. Of there is a big game or something that I want to watch, I go to my local sports bar and spend $20 on beer. I only do this 2 or 3 times per year so it’s still cheaper than 1 month of cable.
ORD
SlingTV for sports.
Anonymous4
I have only Netflix and Amazon Prime. We don’t watch sports, so that hasn’t been an issue for us. MIL – who is a sports fan – has a subscription to the NFL and MLB services.
Anonymous
Which sports are you interested in? We use combination of antenna + MLBTV. Note the MLBTV (and I’m assuming similar services for other sports) have blackouts for regional games (and playoffs), so it’s hard to use for following the local team. DH is a fan of a team across the country, so it works great for him. He ponies up for a few beers when the playoffs are happening.
Anonymous
Like you, I have no cable, and use Amazon prime and Netflix. I also bought a decent TV antennae to get regular TV stations, which I very rarely use to watch a local sports game. Rarely. So that’s enough for me.
Cord Cutting
What antenna did you buy?
Anonymous
This is the one I bought more than 5 years ago, on Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0007MXZB2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
There may be cheaper/different ones now. I bought it because a family member of mine bought it and he is kinda techie, so I trusted him.
SC
We watch Netflix and Amazon Prime. We use the HD antenna to watch live sports broadcast on network TV, and a couple times a year, we stream a game being shown on cable using a family member’s cable login.
Cord Cutting
What antenna did you buy?
Donating a kidney
Has anyone done this (or looked into seriously doing this)?
A woman who was my children’s teacher is now on dialysis with no family matches. I understand that I probably can’t donate my kiney to her (based just on a google search and blood types). But there are donor chains (where if I donate to a stranger, that stranger has a person willing to donate to a stranger, etc., so that a lot more people get kidneys sooner).
My hesitations are: 1) I have younger children and while the donor risk is low, it’s not 0; 2) taking time off work (FT in BigLaw — I worked FT during my maternity leave, so not sure how career risky that is); 3) feeling like a jerk for even letting #2 (real) and #1 (remote) intrude on something I’d gladly do if there were no risk to me. I donate blood all the time (so generous when the risk / pain is low; not quite the widow’s mite story).
This woman has a great heart and isn’t that much older than me and dialysis is very life limiting to her.
Wildkitten
I haven’t but you might want to talk to your doctor. There are real risks (and obvious benefits) and it might be nice to get advice from a medical professional who you can talk to and should care just about your health and risks and not have a bias towards the societal benefits of donation. I am proud of you for even considering it.
hoola hoopa
This is good advice.
Anonymous
My father did to my mother. Stop worrying about whether your concerns are selfish. It’s a serious surgery. Recovery is likely 4-8 weeks, and it’s rough. You’ll be in pain. You might suffer loss of appetite. You’ll have lots of pre and post opp doctors appointments. You will need someone to take care of you post surgery and you won’t be able to cook, clean, or cuddle your kids for a while.
I think it’s a wonderful thing to do. It saves life. But there is a risk and no one should do it unless they are fully committed.
Emmer
I have not done this, but the podcast Strangers did a 3-part series on a woman who decided to donate her kidney to a stranger. The last episode in the series took a holistic look at all of the practical and ethical issues that came with this decision, including calls from listeners about their reaction to the story. I found it really thought-provoking, and you might find it of interest: http://www.kcrw.com/news-culture/shows/strangers/elizabeth-and-mary-part-i
Anonymous
I got swabbed at a bone marrow registration booth at a community festival and didn’t think much of it. Less than a year later, I got a call, email, and certified letter informing me I was a top 3 match for a man in his 50s. I very quickly learned about the risks and, for lack of a better word, inconvenience to me. I’d have to do a series of blood and physical tests to see if I was the top match, and if I was, I’d then have to travel to Washington, DC (paid for by the man’s insurance) and undergo the procedure. It would require a couple weeks of taking a medication (to raise my iron, I believe…it was 8 years ago so I don’t exactly remember), plus 4 days in the hospital. This procedure was a lot more involved than donating blood, something I’ve also done before.
I was scared but decided to proceed just to see. I knew I wanted to at least see if I was the top match, and I knew that if I had the power to save a life, I probably would have done it. Ultimately, I wasn’t selected. I learned it was rather unusual to be contacted so quickly and be such a close match. However, I am of mixed racial heritage, which is one reason I felt compelled to register in the first place. There is a need for minorities. My takeaway and recommendation to you is to start the testing to at least know if you’re a match, or would be a match as part of a chain. It very well may be that you aren’t. Also, know you can always change your mind. At every step of the process, I was told I’m not obligated and can always decide againt the bone marrow donation.
I’m not sure if I would donate a kidney. I don’t think I would randomly do it, but again, I feel that if I knew I could save someone’s life I probably would consider it and start the process. You are a wonderful person for exploring this.
Anon
Thanks for registering for the bone marrow registry! I donated to my mom a few months ago, and while it is very inconvenient it was not bad at all — I did not stay overnight in the hospital. Also, to everyone, please consider donating blood or platelets when you have the opportunity. Cancer patients can go through hundreds of units of blood products, and there is a real need.
rosie
Just to add to this conversation, I was on a somewhat shortlist (but not ultimately selected) a few years ago, and apparently now it’s more common to do a less invasive procedure that filters your blood over a day. Not sure what sort of donation method you all used or were looking at, and it depends on the recipient’s needs is my understanding, but seems like the less invasive is much more common these days. In case that encourages more people to register.
Wildkitten
Yes! Bone marrow donation is significantly easier and less painful now that it used to be. I wouldn’t hesitate to encourage someone to donate bone marrow (even to a total stranger).
Wildkitten
https://bethematch.org/
Anonymous
I would probably not donate a kidney unless I was wealthy and knew I would have no problem getting good medical care for the rest of my life. I would worry about what would happen if I later lost my insurance and had complications.
Anonymous
Or if your insurance had a lifetime limit and you had complications, which is a real concern now.
Anonymous
Just venting… i just had to re-apply, formally, for my job. Resume and everything. The hardest part is knowing that my boss has ZERO intention of hiring me, but will delight in making me go through the interview process. Being interviewed by the people that I work with every day, to see if I am qualified to do the job that I am already doing, and fully expecting the answer to come back “No, you are not qualified. This guy is better qualified. Here, teach him to do your job now.” Yippee.
No
Don’t re-apply for this job. Apply for new ones elsewhere.
hoola hoopa
Did they lay off your entire department and asking for everyone (or a select few) to re-application to cut costs? A dept I work with did this a few years ago. It was awful for everyone, but about half the people did get their job back, with lower pay. Still an awful experience all around, but at least they had a reasonable chance at having a job at the end. (So it was worth reapplying).
If it’s a more targeted decision, then just walk away. I’ve seen it. Spend your energy elsewhere.
anon
Yeah, definitely do not stick around to train some asshole on how to do your job. Don’t apply and see what HR’s next move will be.
Bracelet
I got a bracelet like this for a friend this xmas. It says “touch me and die.” Will follow with the etsy link. Highly recommend, for subtle misandry, feeling like a bad*ss, and excellent customer service from the store.
Bracelet
https://www.etsy.com/listing/285476393/touch-me-die-bangle-copper-bracelet
Orgs that fight gerrymandering?
I’d like to donate to an organization that fights gerrymandering across the country. Like funding lawsuits, making people aware that redrawing district lines is happening in their area, etc. Does anyone know of any organization like this?
Gail the Goldfish
The Brennan Center, kind of, but they are more policy awareness/research than litigation.
MJ
The ACLU does! My friend specifically works as an atty in this group.
NYNY
The NRDC is the PAC Eric Holder recently joined. It’s not a 501(c)3, so your donations are not tax deductible, but they are fighting the good fight.
Anon
What’s a good place to donate books that is not a lot of work for me? I’m just being honest, if it’s a lot of work I will put it off forever.
I have a mix of hard and soft bound novels, cookbooks, gardening books etc. None are trashy.
Anon
Well, if you live near Baltimore, you can drop them off at The Book Thing. Or, perhaps, a Women’s Shelter would like them.
anon
Used bookstore?
Bee
Do thrift stores sell books where you are? If so, just drop them off some time during their opening hours. (I do Saturday afternoons in a book-specialist charity shop in my city and it’s my favourite 4 hours of the week!)
Anonymous
Your local library.
Or your local senior living/retirement/nursing home.
Anonymous
Libraries usually sell donated books as a way to raise funds.
Wildkitten
Books for Prisoners. They probably don’t want your cookbooks, but a lot of softcover books are in high demand, especially dictionaries.
Question for Federal employees
How did Steve Bannon get a security clearance? Wouldn’t his business activities have excluded him from employment in a lower-level job that required one?
anon
I’m ticked at my spouse. We’re both completely against everything that’s happened since Election Day, so you’d think that politics wouldn’t be a big issue between us. But, I’m the only one who is going to marches, calling my representatives, writing postcards and trying to fight back. While we’re on the same side, if you will, he is calm and cool. It is infuriating and makes me wonder if he understands the seriousness of the situation at all. His level head is one of his strong points, but there are times when it makes me so mad to be the designated worrier in our marriage, and this is one of them.
Not looking for advice, just commiseration. I wish I knew what it was like to be a middle-aged, privileged white guy.
Anon
Did you ask him why he’s not more outwardly concerned?
anon
I have. And his basic message is, no matter what happens on the national stage, we’ll be fine. Our family will be fine. Everything in our safe little bubble will be fine. He seems to know that we’re privileged and acknowledges it, but that’s as far as it goes. Like I said, infuriating.
Anon
FWIW, my dad, who is a year away from retirement, is exactly the same way. I sort of get it–he has spent a lifetime fighting in wars, corporate ladders, worried about everything and anything regarding the family he supports. I figure he’s entitled to bury his head in the proverbial sand. Even though, of course, he raised his kids to stand up for themselves and others. Come to think of it, he led several citizen protests in his younger days. And now, he wants some peace and quiet.
I don’t care as long as he bails me out of jail if I get arrested for protesting. He agreed, so we’re cool.
anon
I understand giving your dad some grace. But my DH is only 39. With two young kids. He has no freaking reason to bury his head in the sand.
ChiLaw
Agreeing with Anon at 5:31. Also of European Jewish descent, also not sure when to panic vs. when to trust that America will get it done. But I’m not going to check out and hope other people do the heavy lifting. If I can show up, and 4,999 other people like me show up, and it means that there were 6k people at the airport instead of 1k, every time, it has got to start to mean something.
Anon
…cont.
” I wish I knew what it was like to be a middle-aged, privileged white guy.”
The way I look at it is that I had a privileged white guy behind me, fighting for me, all my life. I am very luck to have had this kind of parental support, nevermind the advantages that come with being white and middle-class. So I think to myself, he’s done his job. He gave me the tools to fight this. Thanks Dad, for everything. Especially the bail money, if I need it.
Anon
Your husband’s response is exactly my response to what’s going on. I am choosing not to be dramatic – not because I don’t care, but because my personality doesn’t work like that. I DO believe we, America, will ultimately be fine, because I ultimately believe in our goodness as a nation. History says we as humanity have these times and history says we as humanity recover.
I believe in America’s ultimate goodness as much as Trump believes in its ultimate dysfunction.
Nabby
How would it work if everyone thought that way? If there had been no womens marches, no coordinated calls to congressmembers offices, no protests or lawyers spending all right at airports all weekend? No donations to ACLU so that they can bring this order to court immediately? No encouraging voter registration to address this for the future?
Anon
I agree with you, but my fear is how much damage will be done before we get “fine”?
That is what I am not willing to risk.
Maybe it is because I am Jewish, and my people just didn’t believe that such atrocities could happen in the modern world, in the 20th century, in a civilized European country.
But support comes in many ways: protesting, letter-writing, donating to the ACLU, hugging a protester when they come home and say, “Thank you.” You do you, and don’t let anyone tell you different.
anon
Your phrase “choosing to be dramatic” is interesting. Without people fighting back, America’s ultimate goodness (your words) is at risk.
Torin
This.
I have donated money to organizations I think can do something to help, written a letter to my senator, and am taking steps to donating my time be registering with the ACLU as a volunteer attorney.
But I didn’t go to any of the marches. That’s just not how I express myself. Some friends posted statements on social media to the effect that anyone not marching is an amoral beast (exaggerating only slightly) and I found it extremely off-putting and hurtful. I’m not _not reacting_ I’m just _not reacting the way they are_ and I don’t think my way of reacting is less legitimate than theirs.
CountC
+1 Torin. I am doing a lot of non-visible things – calling reps/senators, making donations, educating myself and others who are willing to listen, spreading truthful information, taking action locally. I am not sitting on my couch assuming that everything will be fine, but I am not an emotional person and it’s not in my nature to protest in certain ways. People may think I don’t care as I don’t get emotional generally – happy or sad. I am kind of an annoyingly even keel person IRL.
All of that said, I would never belittle anyone’s decision to take action in the way that works for them. That would be my biggest issue. Even if I don’t want to resist in the particular way a friend is, I would never imply that it does no good or that it’s the “wrong” way to resist.
Rosie
You don’t have to march to show you care but Democracy is not a spectator sport. It is something we have to work at! So, if it is just writing letters and calling your lawmakers, fine. But to ignore it all is a little naive and privileged. By the way, my husband is very politically active and he voted third party.
Anonymous
+1 You said this probably better than I could. For me (and only me, I don’t mean to speak for anyone else or cast aspersions on the sincerity of others) going to a march would be performative and unnatural, but I’m trying to do what I can in ways that make sense to me personally.
Anonymous
This sounds just like my husband. He even said that my calling Congressmen “represents the family” so he doesn’t need to call, too.
It’s incredibly frustrating, but I think all of us just have to focus on what we can do, individually and not worry whether others are pulling their weight.
Lana
So much commiseration. My DH is the same way. He cares, but not enough to fight back. He also belittles some of my fighting back – constantly pointing out things like that our Senator, Ted Cruz, is not going to care about my postcard and will likely never read it.
I think I finally got him to engage more this weekend because he is interested in the legalities and legal arguments for/against the Muslim ban, but he’s still unlikely to go march with me or do much. It’s very frustrating. He still feels safe because he’s never not felt safe in his life. However, as frustrating as it is, don’t give up. You’re in the best position to help him realize he needs to stand up for others.
Anon
” He still feels safe because he’s never not felt safe in his life.”
I don’t think a man has any idea what it is like to walk to their car at night, carrying their keys in their hands in a way that they will be prepared to poke someone’s eyes out if they get to close. Or live in a world where half the population is automatically bigger and stronger than them. Or, if they are attacked, think, “I need to use my nails to get skin samples for DNA” as opposed to, “I’m gonna give them a bloody nose!”
Anon
It can’t feel good to live in such a state of fear. This sounds like a situation where you might benefit from therapy. Therapy can help you change your perspective so you aren’t operating from a position of being a victim or potential victim all the time.
fdasddfa
What the f*ck is f*cking wrong with you? She didn’t say she is “operating from a position of being a victim all the time”. She is stating that many situation are more dangerous for women than for men. That’s a fact, not something that requires therapy.
Anon
Most women live in this state of awareness. It’s not fear; it’s awareness. Women should all be very aware of their surroundings, and if it requires poking your keys through your fingers and being prepared to scratch an assailant in a parking lot, be ready. That doesn’t mean she needs therapy and doesn’t mean she thinks of herself as a victim. It’s just reality. In fact, your response sounds a lot like someone who has never not felt safe, just like the poster mentioned.
Anonymous
When you’ve been repeatedly followed home it’s a survival tactic. Lucky you to not know that fear.
Anon
Hey Anon,
If I felt I lived in a state of fear I would! But I don’t. It is more like a state of awareness. And actually, it is rather empowering. I pick up on things all around me that others don’t. And I feel safer. Nevertheless, a great deal of this was honed by the fact that I am a diminutive woman. I stand by my original statement that most men never know what it is like to live in a world where half the population is automatically bigger & stronger…
ChiLaw
UGH my husband too. “I don’t see why *you* have to go to the airport and protest…” “well it would’ve been more meaningful if you’d’ve gone yesterday, so why do you have to go today?” “are you going to be home in time for dinner?”
There were a lot of signs at the airport saying, more or less, “‘Never Again’ is NOW.” I, individually, didn’t have to go, but if no one, individually, went, no one would be there. Duh.
Anonymous
My DH is the same way. After the women’s march, I started fantasizing about what would happen if we women collectively went on strike at home (bedroom, kitchen)…it’s so hard to engage someone who is indifferent.
Amy
What you have right there is the plot to Lysistrata (and Chi-raq). And I have contemplated what that might look like, myself. My husband is very engaged but some of my friends’ husbands seem put out that they are “inconvenienced” not just by their friends’ marching/calling/letter-writing, but just because my friends are preoccupied with national events and no longer have much time or patience to listen to the blow-by-blow of the latest Titanfall II match. Maybe a “no peace = no piece” policy would get some Millennial and Gen-X men off their duffs and into the game.
Nudibranch
Like Lysistrata. Which is a surprisingly fun read.
Anon
Not everyone has to make everything urgent a priority. By that logic, shouldn’t we all be adopting as many orphaned children as we can? If your husband was really involved in, for example, fighting homelessness in his city, would you still malign him for not going to the airport to protest?
I think the larger question is not “why doesn’t my spouse care about THIS PARTICULAR cause” — but “does my spouse care at all about making the world around him a better place?”
I don’t think very many people actually live their lives in this way, and that’s fine (as long as they’re not actively making it worse, either). You have to decide for yourself if that’s a required trait in a partner, or if that’s something you can live without. I like that my husband cares about making the world a better place, and that’s a trait that’s important to me in a spouse. But that doesn’t mean we have to go about it in the same way.
Wildkitten
Can you come up with specific asks on how to be helpful? My cousin organized a post-card writing party as a follow up to the March, and invited all of her friends, and her SO didn’t invite friends, or write that many post-cards, but he was in charge of buying supplies for the party and refilling our food and drinks while we post-carded. Would DH be willing to do less political tasks (covering housing responsibilities you might normally split) to support you while you protest?