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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 74 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Hexagon Huggie Hoop Earrings

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Marc by Marc Jacobs Hexagon Huggie Hoop Earrings | CorporetteI like these lovely little hexagon huggie hoop earrings from Marc by Marc Jacob — they look classic and stylish but a bit more interesting than the usual circular hoops. Shopbop has them in gold (plated); Saks has them in silvertone. They're $48 at both spots. Marc by Marc Jacobs Hexagon Huggie Hoop Earrings (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Ellen

    Yay, Kat! I love Silver hoop earing’s but the hexagonal shape makes my face look a little to angular. At my age, I have LEARNED to be very carful about doeing anything that would cause men to focus on any bodily feature that needed a fix. As a result, I do NOT let men focus on my leg’s by wearing flat’s, and do NOT wear tight pencil skirt’s any more b/c it causes men to focus on my tuchus. With earing’s, it is important for them NOT to be to big, or angular b/c then men will start lookeing at my neck and skin, which unfortunately is NOT as smooth as Rosa’s, b/c I do NOT have the time to go to Elizabeth Arden for facial’s all the time.

    I am to busy workeing and billeing for all of the work that I do. I do NOT even have time for manis and pedis the way Rosa does. And she does NO housework or cookeing like me either. FOOEY! That is why I need to be MARRIED. I would love to just have a personal trainer and lunch with the girls in Chapaqua. I want my BIGGEST decision every day to be WHERE we are goeing to go for DINNER. I would pick my husband up at the Train Station and drive him home, or better yet, have the housekeeper do that and then just meet him at the door, with dinner plans put on hold for an hour or so. That is what I want. I am NOT demanding, just diserning, dad says. Where is a guy who will DO this for me? Help!

  2. SoCalAtty

    I have a question on office configuration. I’ve finally been bumped up into an office (YAY! In-house counsel so I started out on the open floor with everyone else), and my desk is currently facing the wall, so if I look to my right I look out the window, and the door is on my left.

    I’m considering turning my desk 90 degrees so that it faces the door, but then the window is at my back. Hmmm….do you all find it better to face your door, or is sideways ok?

    • Maddie Ross

      I’ve always had the window to my side – it’s easiest for me with glare/reflection.

    • Lyssa

      Mine is the way that you describe, and I think that I prefer that. I want to be able to see (peripherally) both the door and the window. The window doesn’t face in a direction that causes a glare problem, though.

    • mascot

      My window and door are on opposite walls similar to what you have and the door is visible from the desk As long as I can see my door from the corner of my eye, I’m fine. I have a terrible startle reflex and can’t have my back to the door.

      • Anonymous

        +1. My windows are behind me and the door is kind of to my side (depending on where I sit, I have an L shaped desk.) I can’t have my back to the door.

    • SoCalAtty

      Thanks everyone! My door is a little set over to the side, so it is kind of behind me, but there is a window next to it so I can see people coming….mostly. No glare problem…I may leave it like this for a few days and switch it later if the door being just beyond my peripheral vision drives me nuts.

      The only thing outside my door is our paralegal and a conference room, so in theory this should be a low traffic area, but we’ll see.

    • Diana Barry

      I have my back to the window and the blinds (vertical car-wash style, so they don’t block all the light) drawn most of the time. The window faces an alley and there isn’t much light, so no glare issues. I face the door, which is my preference – no sneaking up on me!

    • soaps

      What would it be like if you flipped your desk 180 degrees?

      I don’t know if you’re into feng shui, but having a solid wall behind you and the door in view from where you’re sitting is best. You won’t get surprised and you won’t be constantly turning your head towards the door to disrupt your workflow.

      • anyanony

        +1 for feng shui. I never liked my back to the door – it creeps me out.

      • SoCalAtty

        I hadn’t thought of this! I may try that for tomorrow. My furniture is really light so it is easy to slide around.

  3. Raindrop

    Long-time lurker, first time commenting. I have been in an upper-level position at Nonprofit A for a year. I have a terrible, manipulative boss (our Executive Director) and the entire culture of the agency is founded on backstabbing and mediocrity. I’m doing my best to get out as quickly as possible. Recently, my mentor, who has done the same job I do for Nonprofit B for nearly a decade, told me that she is likely to be promoted to Executive Director, and encouraged me to apply for her current job when it is posted. My boss knows my mentor and knows that she may be promoted (it’s a small community). My fear is that if and when that happens, my boss will see the posting for the now-open position at Nonprofit B and ask me point-blank if I’m applying. My boss is well-known for giving bad references to people just to sabotage them, and I know she’d see my departure after only a year or so of working for her as ungrateful. What do I say if she asks me? I hate the idea of lying, and if I were to lie but then ultimately get the job, that seems . . . unprofessional. If I tell the truth, she’ll treat me terribly and make my life a living hell. I’m wracked with anxiety over this (and over the inevitability of her finding out I’m seriously job-hunting). Any advice or ideas? I’ve sent my question to Ask A Manager as well. Thanks in advance for any advice or ideas.

    • Veronica Mars

      I’m sorry that you’re in a toxic work situation. The first thing I’d recommend–can you see a therapist to help you with this anxiety? Unfortunately, you can’t make your boss magically become reasonable, and the only thing you can do is try to ease as much of the anxiety burden off of yourself. Personally, I’d tell your boss that you’re not applying outright for the job. If you don’t get the job, then you’ll have a better work environment there. If you do get the job, perhaps just tell her something like, “While I wasn’t planning on applying to the job initially, after we spoke, [mentor] reached out to me and I changed my mind.” There were also some great AAM comments recently about instructing someone on how to feel, like “This was a difficult decision and I know you’ll be happy for me,” etc (better phrased than that), it was within the last couple days, I think. Plus, your boss has a reputation for badmouthing former employees. If you explain what happened to a reasonable future employer, they should understand. Hope this helps.

      • SoCalAtty

        I totally agree. I’d say something like “oh, I hadn’t seen that, I’m not currently looking.” And leave it at that. Then I would tell Nonprofit B not to contact your current employer, as they have issues with people looking for new positions…and that shouldn’t be a surprise, since that is a pretty common attitude. If you get it and then move, then you can come up with some reason why you left, but cross that bridge when you get to it!

        • Diana Barry

          +1, I like this reply, with VM’s addition of if you do get the job.

    • 2 Cents

      Interviewers don’t usually contact a person’s current manager, since that would let them know their employee was looking (and could potentially threaten their current employment). I would think this soon-to-be ED at Nonprofit B would know this, even though she’s friendly with ED at Company A.

      • Raindrop

        Thanks, all. You all confirmed my suspicions, and I appreciate the corroboration. For what it’s worth, I do have a great therapist who has been really helpful with the anxiety. Really appreciate all of your perspectives!

  4. Anonymous

    I bought a coral trench coat this weekend at what I thought was a good price. It fits well especially when belted but I’m unsure as to whether I should keep it. Most of my coats are suited to winter only. I don’t have anything in between, also the winter coats are mostly wool. I can’t wear the trench coat in winter obviously but I wonder if it would work in fall. How do you wear your trench coats? I.E. In what seasons do you find them most useful?

    • Anonymous

      Does it have a hood? Can it double as an actual raincoat? Then keep it.

    • anon

      Fall and Spring. A coral trench sounds like it would work mostly for Spring, but I think it could work in September too if it gets a little chilly/rainy. I’d probably not wear it in October or November unless maybe you live in a pretty warm climate.

    • Clementine

      I live in a cold part of the country and wear my trench in the spring and the fall and cold, rainy summer days.

      See, I think you could rock a coral in the fall trench if you paired it with a navy or khaki scarf. I think both of those colors make it more of a bright statement than a seasonal item.

    • Baconpancakes

      Depends on your climate. In the mid-Atlantic, I wear my (khaki) trench coat (with removable liner) from February to May, and then from September to November. The coral one sounds firmly spring-y, but YMMV.

    • Pam

      I would wear it whenever the weather is right. It doesn’t matter what season. If it’s cold and you need a trench coat then wear it. Maybe pair it with skinny jeans and simple white shirt during spring. Brown or taupe boots, leggings and scarf during winter or even go all black.

  5. Magazines

    Reposting from the morning the thread in hopes of additional responses:

    Suggestions for a magazine version of “Lean In” or “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office?”

    I’m looking for a gift subscription for a junior in college who has professional aspirations but not a lot of good role models of female professionals.

    She has been gifted “Lean In” and received two years of Kiplingers Personal Finance magazine (freshman and sophomore year).

    Now it’s time for a new magazine subscription. Any ideas?

    • Emily

      I don’t understand why you want a magazine subscription because I don’t find magazines to be the place where I see good professional advice or what not.

      I think the best thing would be to have a standing breakfast or lunch where you discuss whatever is going on and/or invite any professional friends who would be a good role model.

      • Veronica Mars

        +1 I’d see if there are any professional associations in her area and see about gifting her a student membership. Obviously not applicable to all professional fields, but maybe see what general careers she might be interested in and see if they have a local presence.

        • Diana Barry

          +1, this is a better idea. I had an Economist subscription in law school and NEVER read it – I would borrow my friends’ People magazines instead.

      • Maddie Ross

        +1 on confusion as to the magazine subscription for a college student. I was forced to get both Newsweek and the Wall Street Journal as a college student for a class and did.not.read.it. What did I read? People, Cosmo, Marie Claire, etc. And honestly, I would be shocked if she’s been reading that Kiplinger’s subscription the last two years. If you’re close to her, forward her articles you find interesting from the NY Times, The Atlantic, or something similar as you come across them. And save the paper and money.

        • Shopaholic

          I still wouldn’t read more serious magazines. I love my trashy fashion magazines.

      • Magazines

        That would be ideal. She lives on the other coast, though. And has confessed that she is more apt to leaf through magazines than read entire books.

      • Anonymous

        I think the magazine subscription could be something she grows into. She could have the magazines sent to her but not read them. That said I never read the Wall Street Journal until a friend started giving me copies because he lucked out on a free subscription. I found out I liked it and continue to read it.

    • Scully

      I don’t think there is any- a magazine would be a weird format to cover that topic. If you’re tied to the idea of giving a subscription, I loved my subscription to the Wall Street Journal in college (came free with an econ textbook). I think Emily’s idea might be more valuable to your mentee.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      There was a magazine and I cannot for the life of me recall what it was. It had a weird girly name like Pink Inc. or something but was a very good magazine about professional working women. I got signed up for a free trial and got three issues. I can’t seem to find it by googling so maybe its defunct now.

      I will say that I’m a huge geek and a family member signed me up for Money Magazine when I was still in college. I really enjoyed reading it.

      • Amy H.

        It was just “Pink” — I think — and I agree that while it was a stupid name, it was very good on this topic. It folded 2-3 years ago though.

    • Hollis

      Instead of a magazine subscription, could you arrange for her to meet with a friend or contact who is in some kind of role that she would be interested in? When I was in college, I would have been inspired by an opportunity to tour a lab or a company headquarters or trading floor or even visit a courtroom to watch a trial.

    • Anne

      I agree that a magazine isn’t ideal, but if you’re going to get one the New Yorker hands down. It’s not a how to but it can be such a great part of an intellectually engaged life.

      • Anonymous

        That was going to be my suggestion too. Not work related specifically, but helpful in developing a thoughtful and cultured mind.

  6. Horrible male lawyer

    Small law firm, an older male lawyer “above you” who is not a partner.

    You usually get along well with pretty much all, but you just do not get along with him. He cuts you off, has these strange verbal tics of repeating “hold on” or “calm down” any time you speak to (dude, totally normally and calmly) say anything. So, if I need something from him, I can’t even get out the reason I need X – he will cut me off. Apparently, my usual way of dealing with people like this in non-work life, continuing on talking and he will have to get it together and listen, is not appropriate at work. Our nice office manager recommends I remain silent until he is finished speaking, wait, and then speak. This feels so wrong and unnatural to me. I do not know what to do. Anything that would make me deal with him is doubly stressful.

    I worked with curt or not-nice senior partners before, but never had any problems before. They listen to issue, they say what needs to happen, we discuss if needed, I do that. This man, though. I do not know how to behave without jeopardizing my own career path, basically.

    • Anonymous

      I understand that this situation is very frustrating but “continuing on talking and he will have to get it together and listen” is indeed inappropriate. You cannot act like that with anyone especially not with a coworker. I am glad your office manager said something.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. He may be the same kind of talker you are, so that “continuing on talking” is actually HIS normal MO as well >>> and since he is senior to you, you MUST stop and listen until he stops what he’s saying.

    • Hollis

      That would totally drive me crazy. Can you try and make your communications with him over e-mail instead of in person? Is there any way you can get out of working with him? You say that it’s a small law firm – maybe a lateral move will make life better for you?

    • bridget

      “So, if I need something from him, I can’t even get out the reason I need X – he will cut me off. ”

      Would it help to start off with what you want, then explain why? “Attorney Smith, may I have a copy of the pleading that you wrote in 2006 for the Acme case? [pause] [explain why]”

      • Lorelai Gilmore

        I actually think this is excellent advice for dealing with many people. As a younger associate, I’d start every request with background or explanation. Now I start with the request. Then I backfill the reasoning. It makes it easier for people to figure out what you want and give it to you.

        I can’t quite tell what’s going on with this guy – it seems super weird. I do think that he might have some social awkwardness. The advice to let him finish everything, pause, and then speak is solid. It does feel a little unnatural, but this style of communication can really help with some people. It makes them feel heard. Alternatively, he might just be a slow processor – it sounds like he thinks you are speaking/communicating too fast. You might try slowing everything down – speak a little more slowly, take more pauses, take a deep breath after you think he is done, before you begin to speak.

        Good luck!

    • rosie

      Just in case you are not already doing this, are you starting conversations with clear indicators that you are being respectful of his time? “Do you have a few minutes?” “Is now an ok time for a quick question about xyz?” “Is this still a good time to discuss abc?”

          • Trish

            I have had the habit of interrupting. I had a supervisor who called me on it every single time. See if you don’t just walk in and start blabbing with whatever is in your head without thinking about what he is doing.

    • sweetpotatopie

      Two ideas: First (and most painfully) consider if your conversational style is at the root of this poor interaction. I’ve had to adjust my communication style at work; it was excruciating but it made me much more effective. Second, it could be garden-variety weirdness from him and might be solved if he was more aware of his own behavior. Next time he asks you to calm down could you say ‘I hope I don’t seem agitated to you. This isn’t the first time you’ve asked me to calm down and I know I can come across as too intense.’ As a caveat, I work in a very flat workplace and would do this to a co-worker, but never to my boss.

    • Anonymama

      Some people just have slower auditory processing (or he may have hearing difficulties, or just have a hard time with your particular talking speed/accent/pitch). Have you tried just speaking slower, and with more pauses? To me that seems much more obvious and professional than continuing to speak over someone else. And what may seem like your normal calm manner of speaking to you might actually be quite fast/intense sounding to someone else.

  7. Hollis

    Can anyone tell me what the sizing is like for Diane von Furstenberg dresses? I’m a pear 4 Banana Republic, 6 most other places, and 8 Theory/Hugo Boss. Thanks.

    • Maddie Ross

      I think (personally) the wraps run small. My BR Gemma wraps are small, but my DVF wraps are 8s.

    • Diana Barry

      Probably the 8 would fit you then, but the wraps might fit differently. I find the non-wrap DVFs slightly big on the shoulder (like for a longer waist than mine?) but I am more straight up and down than pear (same size as you).

    • Hollis

      Sorry – I’m looking at some of her sheath dresses, not the wrap ones. Can anyone comment on the sizing for a non-wrap DvF dress?

    • Jennifer

      Despite reading that the DVF dresses fit small on some, I have never found that true (I have ~5 sheath dresses from her and they all fit TTS). I have an hourglass shape and wear a 0/2 hugo boss, 0 j crew, 2 theory. That said, if you are pear shaped, I might recommend sizing up one size, since her dresses are cut pretty slim through the hips.

    • V

      I am your size and I have an 8 sheath dress is very body con on me. I have 8 and 10 wraps and the 10 wrap was big. A 10 Reina is very loose. I do not think that DVF sheaths are forgiving on pears (whereas Talbots are), but they are so pretty.

  8. Sydney Bristow

    Has anyone learned Japanese as an adult? I took a few years when I was younger and it would be a really big benefit to me if I could learn it. I’m wondering what program would be best. I know Rosetta Stone can be good but it really depends on the language. Any suggestions?

    • Anonymous

      Look into conversation groups in your area. That’s an option I have considered in improving my mastery of another foreign language

    • Meg Murry

      I tried for a little while, but the only things that have stuck were counting and basic greetings. The hardest part for me was learning the different politeness forms (I don’t know remember what the technical term is). I was trying to learn for business purposes, so we were focusing on the forms you would use with co-workers, superiors and customers/clients.

      I lived in an area where there were a few Japanese companies (suppliers to Toyota, Honda, etc) and there were a handful of people who did classes/tutoring – both for business people sent over from Japan and their spouses to learn English, and then teaching Japanese to Americans like me. Can you ask around to see if there is anyone tutoring like this? We had a small class (5 people or so) so we could practice together as well, and this was the book we used: http://www.amazon.com/Japanese-Busy-People-Romanized-attached/dp/1568363842

      Learning to read/write kanji is a whole other kettle of fish and I didn’t get into that at all.

  9. Wildkitten

    What are the best mechanisms for dealing with stress? I know meditation and exercise as general habits, but want to work on handling stress in-the-moment to not get so worked up about things that happen. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Shots doesn’t work in these situations.

    • Liz

      Count to 10 before speaking. Preferably stretch for those 10 seconds. It works for me!

    • Scandia

      In a stressful situation, we have a tendency to freeze in the tense “attack or flee” mode. If you cannot leave the situation but have to stay, try gently to move yours joints: wrist, hip, knee, shoulder, back and especially your neck. I do not mean to do stretches during the meeting, just naturally but consciously movements, that will ground your feelings in your body. This is surprisingly helpful if you feel anger, stress or anxiety.

    • KT

      In the moment stuff can help, but without the groundwork of regular sleep, good food, etc, you’re fighting a losing battle.

      That said, if you have those good habits established, deep breathing, ridiculous Buzzfeed gifs that make you laugh, a small, soft “comfort object” (like a mini stuffed animal to hold) can be great stress relievers and take the edge off.

    • Wildkitten

      Thank you! I am also working on the big habits, just want to try small ones too. These are great suggestions.

  10. Anon

    Just did a stress reduction seminar at work. The most useful thing for me was the idea that up you can pick how to respond to stress. When I’m getting wound up about a situation, I literally ask myself if that is how I want to respond. If you say no, your body calms down.

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