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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 123 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Jalin Textured Sweater Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Jalin Textured Sweater DressI realize it isn't really sweater dress weather, but I am loving some of the textured knits that Club Monaco has in their workwear shop right now. This dress is gorgeous — you have to zoom in to see the leaf-like patterns zig zagging through the knit. (There's also a very cool ribbed pencil skirt that's among their best sellers.) This dress is available in black, light pink, and white; available in sizes XS-L for $189. Jalin Textured Sweater Dress Here's a more affordable option, and here's a plus-size option. Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

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Comments

  1. Ellen

    Yay! I love this sweater dress, Kat, and guess what, it IS sweater dress wether today b/c it is 48 degrees and I was freezeing my tuchus off walkeing to work. In POINT OF FACT, I cut thru Grand Central b/c it was so cold, even tho it was a coupel of blocks out of my way. I did stop and get a coffee at Zaro’s, tho, which was GOOD (not as strong as Starbuck’s).

    I have to interview another associate today. The manageing partner promised my dad he will get me help and I found someone thru a headhunter with expereince. He is onley 28 year’s old, so I hope he is NOT another Mason. Lynn is already with Mason, so at least he will NOT be wasteing time haveing sex with her on the conference table like Mason did. I did get them to calm down, and now Mason is actualy doeing work. YAY!

    I need a guy to help me do more then just carry my pump’s to court, and hopefuly this guy will be good. Then, if Mason should move out, it would NOT be cateastrophic. I will report back later. YAY!!!!!

  2. Sydney Bristow

    Reposting from last night in hopes of getting a few more responses. Thanks Anonymous and Meg Murry! Once I get going a bit, I’ll try to find a conversation group. I’ll also take a look at that book that your group was using Meg Murry.

    Has anyone learned Japanese as an adult? I took a few years when I was younger (in middle school, actually) and it would be a really big benefit to me if I could learn it. I’m wondering what program would be best. I know Rosetta Stone can be good but it really depends on the language. Any suggestions?

    Ultimately, I want to attempt to learn it well enough to pass a test and be able to do document review in Japanese. So I’ll need to be able to read it as well as speak. I remember bits and pieces from before and we were learning to read and write too so I think it would be possible to pick it back up but I’m really starting from scratch.

    • Anonymous

      I think this is a lofty goal. My coworker, who is native born Chinese, has been studying Japanese since birth and is still not fluent enough to pass the Japanese doc review test. Not to mention, Chinese and Japanese language share characters (I think?) so there is a bit of overlap.

      • BB

        There’s a lot of overlap in kanji characters between Chinese and Japanese. They have very different pronunciations, but if you know Chinese, it gives you a leg up in terms of writing the characters and recognizing their meaning.

        If you want to just test the waters, there’s an awesome app called “Tako’s Japanese” that you can buy. It’s little mini games to teach you Japanese from beginner level.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll check that out.

          It is a lofty goal but I’d like to give it a real shot. After July, I really won’t have anything big going on so I have a good amount of time available to put toward a big goal. I know it is a continuing thing but at least I’ll be at a good point to try and start.

    • Asideralis

      It’s possible to learn any language as an adult. It just requires work and repetition. I would not recommend Rosetta Stone, as I’ve never found it to be useful for actual conversations. Genki is an excellent textbook. I would start off learning hiragana and katakana. Then, move to your kanji and integrate Genki into your work. I would recommend 20-40 minutes a day. Anki has an excellent kanji flashcard set. The first 10k kanji in Japanese, with sentences and vocalization.

      Start listening to Japanese music. If you want to speak well, join a conversational group. There are structured classes for adult. Reddit has a sub called r/LearnJapanese and can answer many of your questions for you.

      Set concrete goals: i.e. “I will have learnt all of hiragana by June 30th” “I will be able to read and write the katakana alphabet by July 31st” “I will practice 5 kanji per day” etc.

      I’m fluent in Portuguese and am currently studying Japanese. Languages aren’t difficult, they’re just tedious.

      People assume that adults suck at learning languages because kids latch on “so quickly” but that’s not the case at all. We just know that kids suck at speaking in general and correct them as is necessary. Most children need 7-9 years to become adequately fluent in English (or whatever language is native to them), most adults require about 3 years depending upon dedication levels. You will be frustrated. You will feel like a moron. You will be embarrassed by your mistakes, but these are all natural. You currently are proficient in at least one language, it just requires your efforts to achieve a new one.

      Make sure you don’t compare yourself to your English skills or other’s language skills. The situations are not similar nor are they worth comparing.

      Honestly, other than a ridiculous amount of memorization, Japanese is not that hard. The pronunciation is very similar and they use subject-object-verb rules, similar to Latin.Most Americans find Mandarin to be more difficult due to the tonal nature, or Hungarian/Finnish due to the shear amount of cases!

      • Sydney Bristow

        Thank you! This is really helpful! I remember hearing about the Anki flashcards, so I’ll definitely check into those. The subreddit looks helpful too.

        I remember feeling like Japanese seemed to make sense, aside from the memorization. The pronunciation in Japanese class was much easier for me than when I took Spanish in high school. I actually think I remember more Japanese than Spanish even though I took the same number of years and took Spanish more recently.

        • KLR

          When you get to upper intermediate level, NHK (the public broadcaster here) has news reports with transcripts on its website.

          Memrise is a good app for studying kanji

          There is also a japanese law translation portal site that may help with doc review studying. Japaneselawtranslation dot go dot jp

          The podcast News in Slow Japanese is good

          Gd luck!

    • CountC

      My father has, through a combination of language tapes, in-person classes, pen pals, and a lot of self-study books from the library. He did not use Rosetta Stone. Sorry this is not more helpful in terms of resources, but just wanted to let you know that it definitely can be done!

    • Mary Ann Singleton

      Yes, you can definitely learn Japanese as an adult. I love learning languages, and I was well on my way to speaking intermediate Japanese when I lived in Japan, but you don’t have to live there to learn it. (I lost most of it after leaving Japan but that’s my own fault – got busy with biglaw and didn’t have the energy to keep it up. I still plan to pick it up again one day, perhaps when I have my goat farm in the country :)

      I do think it’s crucial that you find a Japanese native for conversation. I’d get a tutor, workbooks (learn at least katakana and hiragana – they’re not too hard to learn), and lots of audio to listen to in your downtime. I did some rosetta stone too and liked it. Have fun! It’s a beautiful language.

      • Sydeny Bristow

        Thanks! I’ll definitely seek out a conversation partner when I get to that point. I’m in NYC so that shouldn’t be too hard to find. I think I’ll try getting started without Rosetta Stone but if I’m having trouble putting together a plan then I might try it out.

        • Mary Ann Singleton

          Also, look into the japanese language exams – I can’t remember who administers them, but there are different levels (level4, level 3 etc.). I’m a procrastinator so it helped for me to have the goal (and pressure) of the exams to work towards.

    • Bonnie

      I’ve taken the document review test for Spanish and it was ridiculously hard. I know a native speaker who did not pass it.

    • Anonymous

      FYI, document review in foreign languages generally requires being a native speaker, from what I’ve seen. I have a friend who is basically fluent in French and lived in France for several years and was told she couldn’t do doc review in French because she wasn’t a native.

      • Sydney Bristow

        The listings I’ve seen seem to separate into requiring native speakers and just requiring passing the test. The firm where I’m doing doc review right now said they’d take anyone who spoke/read Japanese because they can be so difficult to find sometimes. I know it might be a longshot but I think it could be great to learn anyway.

    • in-house in tokyo

      I dont want to sound discouraging but I used to manage Japanese document reviews and think it would be really hard for non-native Japanese speakers to participate in a review. A lot of Japanese document review projects deal with industry specific material (i.e., automobile industry, pharmaceuticals, etc.) that even native Japanese speakers are unfamiliar with (but since native speakers obviously have a strong foundation in the language, they can make sense of documents through context, etc.). Also, since most of the attorneys managing these projects do not speak Japanese, reviewers are asked to translate/summarize documents, etc. which, again, requires a very high level understanding of the language. Not to mention that, like in English, Japanese legalese is a whole different beast, which you wouldnt normally get exposed to. I guess it would depend on the level of expertise required on the specific project, but most of the high paying jobs require a high level of competency (I didnt pass the doc review test for Japanese and I use Japanese everyday working as in-house counsel in Japan).

      On a brighter note, learning the language would be helpful if you want to work in a Japanese company!

  3. HSAL

    Has anyone tried the Skimmies knockoff for Target? It looks like they’re a sub-brand of Jockey, so I’m hoping they’re similar. Probably worth a try if it’s $12 vs. $20, but wanted to see if anyone hated them.

    • pamplemousse

      I bought a pair of Jockey slipshorts from Target, which I believe is what you are talking about, and I have had good experiences with mine. The weirdest part for me was the feeling of wearing shorts even though I had a skirt on…but they did what I needed them to!

    • Parfait

      There’s a cheaper Target version? I am so there. I love the skimmies, but $20 apiece is a bit much.

  4. Sansa

    I need advice. I am a new lawyer working in a satellite office of a mid sized firm in a tiny practice group. The job has turned out nothing like I thought- there is not anywhere near enough work and the work we have isn’t what I was led to believe. On top of this, I’ve realized firm life is just not for me, between the long, workless hours and the structured bureaucracy, it’s not a good fit.

    I have other experience in a related field that I can fall back on, but I’m trying to decide what is the best next step. I have a review coming up which will be at around the 6-month mark, and I’m lucky if I bill 70% of my target a month. I am assuming I am going to be put on notice at that point, though others have said since I’m still “new” I have more time. I’ve never underperformed before, so I guess I’m just wondering what is the most graceful way to exit this situation and preserve my dignity? I feel very embarrassed about the whole situation even though I don’t know what I could have done differently.

    • V

      I think that work is the first place that a lot of lawyers come to realize what a lot of other people learn early in life: we’re not always on top and from time to time you fail at things. You are a new lawyer. 6 months is the blink of an eye. I don’t think that it’s worth bailing on a profession with a high entry hurdle. I’d network in your geographic area and reach out for clerkships and other opportunities. Law is a very varied field and I wouldn’t quit it this soon in. If you do that, going back may be impossible. Stuff not working out at first is normal. Stuff working out over time is also normal. Don’t give up!

    • Anonymous

      No. No no no.

      A) you are not going to be put on notice as a first year 6 months in for not meeting your hours target unless you have actively been turning down work

      B) 6 months is not enough time to get fully staffed in some groups anyway

      C) concluding you don’t like firm life because of long workless hours is just stupid. Firm life generally doesn’t involve long workless hours.

      Please please get a grip. You will work at this job. Your review will be fine. After 2 years you will look for something else. In the mean time you will focus on not letting a not awesome job get to you so much.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. I would come into the review prepared with questions on the typical ramp-up period. Things should start to improve around the 1-year mark. They may also start to assign you to more than 1 practice group if your assigned group is slow.

      • anon-oh-no

        C was the first thing that jumped out here for me. Long, workless hours is not typically what lawfirms are known for.

        In fact, the only place I’ve had long workless hours was when I worked for the government!

      • Sansa

        Thank you for your comment. I feel that this is a bit harsh, but I guess I wasn’t clear about all of my reasons in my post. Even if I had the hours, I don’t want to be at a firm. I do not enjoy the work and I do not enjoy the environment. I summered at another firm and felt the same way but wanted to give it one last chance before I threw in the towel. I am 100% convinced that I will never be happy in a firm job, and that working 10+ hours a day and weekends is not sustainable for me.

        I would still like someone to answer my question about bowing out gracefully. Do I wait until I get fired? Sit here and do nothing until I hit the 1 year mark? I’m trying to make the best of the situation, but at this point I have decided that moving on (whether now or in 6 months) is the right answer for me.

        • Anonymous

          Ok then. You find another job, and you give two weeks notice. Not complicated.

          But saying waiting to be fired is an option makes you sound like a petulant child. No. Don’t sit around pouting.

          • Sansa

            I am a regular commenter and have received a lot of helpful responses, but this is a bit ridiculous. I am not being a petulant child. I honestly don’t know if it’s better for me to stick it out for a year and hope not to get fired in that time (which is the advice I received from another attorney) or d I should cut my losses now. I was hoping for some reasoned answers for other professional women but if I am just going to be attacked for carefully contemplating the best way to exit a less than ideal situation then maybe this community is not what I thought.

          • emeralds

            If I were in your position, I would start networking my butt off and also start doing job applications for positions that you think would be a better fit. You don’t have to sit around doing nothing for a year hoping you don’t get fired. You should be using however much time you have left at your firm to put yourself in a strong position to be elsewhere, whether that means getting the third job you apply for in August, or hoarding cash in case you end up resigning in a year because you’re miserable and can’t take it anymore.

          • moss

            You spend a lot of time being disappointed, in your job and in the commenters here. Maybe adjust your expectations?

          • Countc

            It’s unlikely that you are going to get fired in the next 6 months. If they were slow when they brought you on, they know why you are not meeting your hours. Hopefully, they know or expect something you don’t about the workload. Seriously, I would relax a little, supervising attorneys know that if there isn’t work, you are not underperforming by not meeting hours. Everyone under performs in the first 6 months because no one knows what they are doing!!

          • rosie

            I would not quit your first job out of law school less than a year in with nothing else lined up (unless you are in a truly toxic, horrible work environment–then maybe). In my opinion, sitting around thinking about whether you should quit or wait to be fired it silly–you should be seeing what else is out there that you might like to do, and then figure out how to get those jobs.

        • January

          If you are a new lawyer, you may find it difficult to move on after only 6 months. I’m just not sure there will be very many other options for you. If you want to go back to your former field, that’s a different story, of course, but if you want to stay in law, you should probably try to hang in there until at least 18 months or so.

        • bridget

          Easy: ask for other work, ask to be trained in different areas, and then (in about three months), start to network for other jobs. Leave around the one-year mark. When asked why you’re leaving, you can give a completely honest answer that you were in a very narrow practice group – so narrow that you couldn’t get enough work to fill your day – and that the firm was not receptive to you expanding your knowledge base.

          • Pretty Primadonna

            I agree with this. Look for other jobs, and in the meantime, still try to do well at your current job. You never know what future circumstances may arise.

    • Ellen

      Hug’s to you. I feel very badly that you feel stressed. But like the OTHER OP’s have said, do NOT consider the law firm’s failure to give you work as your failure. You are great, and you do have other OPTION’s, even if this firm does NOT pan out. Law firms are alway’s skitsophrenic (sp?) when it come’s to work. They want to make you sweat and then blame others when they should look in the mirror. FOOEY on men like them. My philosophy is NEVER to close any doors, meaning NOT to pass up other opportuinities.

      In my case, that meant meeting the manageing partner and makeing him realise that I could be a big asset to him and the firm (which I did). You sound like you have another work alternative. Do NOT go to it yet, but keep that door open. Alway’s lead with your best asset. You sound smart, so that is a big plus. You are also young, and that is a plus, especially b/c men love young women more then older women. Now that I am no longer young, I am glad that I used my legal training to maximum advantage. Yes, I do a little pandering dad says, but guess what, I win my cases and impress the bench with my clotheing that I get my boss to pay 1/2 for. There is nothing wrong with having men do thing’s for you when you do thing’s for them (and nothing need’s to be sexueal).

      So hold your head high and be proud of your accomplishment’s. We women are strong and if we remember it, we are also INVINCEABLE so do NOT let a few schmoe’s in your office EVER tell you otherwise. YAY!!!!!

    • PD

      I work at a satellite office of a large law firm in a small group too, and was lucky if I was even at meeting 50% of my hours the first 6 months. Now, in year 2, I have the ability to exceed my hours. No one even questioned the fact that I had billed only 75-100 hours per month, which I was absolutely terrified about going into my review.

    • Shayla

      I think previous comments have given some sound insight. I would add, though, that you need to be careful what you ask for. My ramp up was similar to yours, it was really slow and I was getting really frustrated. But, they were doing me a favor. I was able to learn some of the basics without also having to fulfill the 13hr/day that we did have the work for. Now that I’m fully integrated (as far as hours go) my “slow” days are few and far between. As hard as it might be, try to make the most of this slow period–meet people in your office! This is all presuming they hired you for a reason and do have the work for you. If they don’t that’s a completely different scenario.

        • Anonymous

          Then please chill. Why on earth would you feel embarrassed and like youve underperformed and worried about preserving your dignity because they are slow? I still vote nope to all of this.

          • Sansa

            Because I like to feel that I am contributing to something. I worked very hard in previous positions and got a lot of satisfaction from that. I feel very embarrassed to not expectations, and I imagine that most people would feel the same way in this situation. I came here for guidance, I don’t really appreciate being judged.

      • CountC

        HA! Most people in large law firms would love to have some slow time especially if it’s just that the practice group doesn’t have the work, not that they are being actively avoided by the partners and senior associates. I ended up getting farmed out to other offices when my local practice group was slow, man that was a nightmare.

        Anyhow, if you want to stay in law, I suggest you stick it out for a at least a year before you start looking. It’s hard enough to find a legal job, let alone one after you’ve only been in a position for 6 months (and from how I am reading this is your first job out of law school so even harder if that’s the case). If you are dead set on going back to your previous field, then I am not sure it matters so much, although as a hiring manager I might be cautious of someone who tried out a new field for 6 months and gave it up. 6 months is not really long enough to get ramped up fully in any position IMO.

    • cbackson

      Right now, the best next step is to focus on finding your fulfillment in your life outside of work (which you currently probably have ample time for) and doing the best you can with the job you have. You haven’t underperformed – this is a common problem – so there’s no need for you to feel bad about this. Use this time to think about what would make a job fulfilling for you and and taking opportunities to prepare yourself to get that kind of job. As a lawyer with less than a year’s experience, it’ll be hard for you to find a new position, so take advantage of the slower work like you have now to help you transition to the type of job you actually want.

    • Samantha

      I’ll take you at your word that you’ve thought it through and:
      (1) firm life is not for you
      (2) you want to go back to your former career, or anything else
      (3) you feel unproductive and dislike the atmosphere at your company.

      If that’s the case, I agree that you should network actively. within and outside your field.
      – Talk to people in your office, go out to lunch with them, pick their brains, make a good impression
      – Go to conferences and meet people in your field, connect with them later on Linkedin and stay in touch
      – Try and do pro bono work or publicity work or any other kind of non billable work you can
      – Network with people in the main (not your satellite) office by reaching out and asking if they have work for you, or if they have time to talk to you about their latest case (that you’ve read the basics about)
      – Form an association at work? Toastmasters maybe? Or a womens group, or a reading group: know your office. If Toastmasters, you could invite a partner each month to talk about something they worked on.
      – Try and take a course or certification outside of work

      Through all these and more means, stick it out at work, with dignity, for about a year if you can. Do not bail after 6 months especially without a backup plan. Don’t be so embarrassed, you did nothing wrong. Keep asking for work and keep doing your best. And try to find a better fit opportunity outside so you can move after a year at this job.

      • soaps

        agree! I’m assuming you thought about it, and if you know that firm life isn’t for you, then it isn’t for you. I wouldn’t try to convince you otherwise. I second that you shouldn’t just leave without some backup plan.

        Notwithstanding my previous comment, at one of my old firms, I knew I just could not stand being there another day. So I just gave my two weeks notice and hoped for the best. I was just shy of being there a year. I knew then that even being unemployed would have been more tolerable. Thankfully, I had some side work that I was able to increase to keep me busy (and fed). I have never regretted my decision to leave. When you know you know!

        Good luck!

      • Lorelai GIlmore

        Samantha and cbackson gave great advice. Sansa, maybe it will help if you start thinking of the low work volume as a gift – an opportunity to invest in other aspects of your career development. Network like crazy, go to all the lunches and coffees you can stand, work on some articles that demonstrate “thought leadership.” Hey, even take the opportunity to get to the gym more, or to learn how to sail or something like that. It is frustrating not to have work – but try to reframe it as the gift of time to position yourself for your next step. I don’t think there’s any magic to staying for a year, but I would suggest staying until you find something that feels like a really good fit for you.

  5. Product Recs Needed

    Sorry for the immediate threadjack, but I need some opinions! I’m looking for:

    -Best headband for combating sweat while working out
    -Best drug store foundation for medium coverage

    – DC specific – does anyone have a good tailor downtown? I’m in a new location and desperately need someone close to work.

    • Clementine

      I can help with one of those:

      Best Headband- Buff Headband in half size with SPF. It’s a tube of lightweight high tech fabric that you can fold or scrunch. It saved me while marathon training on hot days- I would pull it over my forehead and soak it with cold water periodically. Bonus is that It kept my part/hairline from getting too much sun!

    • Midwest Mama

      1. I really like the Junk Flex Tie Headbands. They stay in place when I work out, keep my hair back and sweat off my face, and can easily be machine washed.

      2. I use Revlon ColorStay foundation and love it. I used to use MakeUp Forever Face & Body foundation but switched about 6 months ago because I wanted something cheaper and with a bit more coverage. This one fits the bill perfectly. It provides more coverage but doesn’t give that “makeupy” look like it’s caked on or that you can’t see your skin through a little bit.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve used the tailor in the National Press Building for several skirts and a dress, and she’s pretty good.

      For the foundation, there is a new Cover Girl luminous foundation that is getting good reviews. Neutrogena Healthy Skin also gets good reviews but it may oxidize. I used to wear the Neutrogena, but I’m too pale for their line and Cover Girl.

    • Wildkitten

      I don’t know how close to downtown you need but I like the Loftons – JC Lofton on U Street and Cheryl Lofton in Shaw.

  6. This dress and skirt

    I am a narrow side-to-side pear (so much more of a pear from the side view than the front). This dress would be a hot mess on me. I tried on a similar pretty, pretty skirt from Anthro about 2 years ago and it was OMG awful — a bit Kardashian and yet a bit geriatric (it was like a pajama skirt, or the sort of thing you’d wear if you had a weird shape due to fibroids). Due to my pear-ness, it seemed to want to march up to my armpits and hang out there.

    • Bonnie

      I can’t see this being a good work look either. Too shapeless for straight figures and too vavavoom for curves.

  7. Anna

    Can anyone recommend comfortable flat or low wedge shoes to wear to a formal event? I was going to wear heels, but my plantar fasciitis has started to come back and I want to avoid aggravating it. Anything metallic, beige, or in a neutral color would work, I’m just hoping to find something that is comfortable that won’t look weird with a simple blue cocktail dress.

    • L

      Check out nina shoes. They have tons of wedges that are for formal events. You may have to look under their bridal section, but usually you can find them via their website or amazon/zappos/6pm

      • Anonymous

        I have had Nina satin heels (2 separate pairs) which looked gorgeous, but honestly were the most uncomfortable shoes I have ever worn.

    • KT

      Louise et Cie mini wedge flats. They are GORGEOUS and super comfortable. I am an event planner and worked a formal event where I was on my feet for 14 hours straight (sometimes sprinting) and while everyone else was near tears, I felt fine!

      • Veronica Mars

        KT–I wanted these shoes the first time you rec’ed them and they’re sold out! Have you gotten anything else from the brand? Do they fit true to size?

        • KT

          BOOOOOOOO! These are my go to shoes! They DO sell out often, but Nordstroms often sneakily restocks them, so keep checking!I also stalk ebay.

          I have gotten other shoes (especially flats and low heels) and I’m very impressed with this brand at the price point-the other shoes are very well-made and comfortable, but not quite the magic of the mini wedges :) They are true to size, but I should note, i have normal width size 9 feet, so I don’t know about wide width or narrow fits

    • 2 Cents

      I have the same foot issue and I’m loving Anne Klein shoes right now. The wedges I wear to work nearly every day and my heels aren’t killing me. Plus I find them to be a bit wide in the foot, if that’s helpful to you. I have the Jacinta wedge in black (but it comes in beige) or you could try the Edlynn.

    • Terry

      No specific recommendation, but take a look at www dot barkingdogshoes dot com. They have a ton of recommendations on shoes what work for tricky feet.

      • Anna

        I have two! I couldn’t live without it. That and the grid roller.

        Thanks everyone!

  8. Boston doc rec?

    Ladies – I am moving to Boston and looking for recs for a dentist, doctor, and OB and/or midwife. Would love any within city limits or close-in on the western side (Brookline, Newton, Dedham, Cambridge). TIA!

    • Diana Barry

      YMMV, but there is a big distance difference (traffic) between Dedham and Cambridge so any narrowing down of the towns would help!

      I have several friends who have delivered at the Brigham and love it. I use the MGH medical group for my GP and the MGH OB group – I am high risk so had one of the high risk doctors. They are very good, but can have long wait times. I liked Charles River Dental, also near MGH, when we lived in the city.

      • op

        Thank you! Dedham would be closer to new home, but I will sometimes be in Cambridge for work, so I was thinking I might be able to make that work. Still figuring out my exact job situation, but main office will be in Copley.

    • Boston Legal Eagle

      Search Boston docs/dental on ‘rette – there was a post on this a week or so ago with recommendations. Harvard Vanguard has general med., and they have a location in Copley. I have also heard good things about Brigham and Women’s for pregnancy.

  9. Mommy Monster

    Shopping help: I’m looking for a tote bag to replace my tired diaper bag and/or to use for a pump in place of the obvious black Medela bag. Looking to spend <$100 and drop in a bag organizer.

    • V

      If cute is OK (i.e., not for the office), Scout bags has some really adorable totes. They have a website and also are on amazon.

      I’ve also gotten variations on the LL Bean Boat & Tote bags and found them to be good casual bags.

    • question

      What do you mean in place of the black Medela bag? Is there a way to remove the pump? That would make my life complete. Mine is beige, which is probably even more obvious than the black. Plus, it’s bulky and the pockets it has just don’t make sense for the shape of the pump parts you need to store. And I’d like to bring several sets, but they won’t fit in there, and I don’t want to bring yet another bag. Ugh, don’t even get me started!!!

      • Mommy Monster

        My insurance is sending the “starter” pump, which doesn’t include a bag. My last Medela pump was the backpack variety, and I was able to remove the (Velcroed) pump assembly from the bag. The pump still had the black packaging around it, but the packaging had Velcro that held it in the the pump backpack.

        I agree that the Medela bag isn’t correctly sized to hold all the pieces you need to actually pump. They could make a fortune if they’d offer a variety of bag sizes and designs for their bags.

      • Also in Academia

        If you have the freestyle, it’s about the size of a large sandwich (though heavier) and isn’t attached to anything in the bag.

        • question

          I think you just made my life. I didn’t want to get in too far over my head at work, but from a quick examination, it looks like you may be right!!! That would be so amazing!!

  10. San Francisco bound

    I am headed to San Francisco in August to play while my SO goes to a conference. We’ll there for 4 days. Any recommendations for fun things to do? We are staying downtown in the SOMA district.

    • sweetknee

      I was just there in March for a conference. If you stay through a weekend, go to the Farmers Market at the old ferry building. Lots of great people watching, interesting stuff, and good food.

      • OfCounsel

        Second the Farmers Market. Even if you are not there on a weekend, the Ferry Building is worth walking through and a good place to get (relatively) inexpensive food. It is a bit of a gamble given that you cannot know about weather in advance but will need to buy tickets before you go, but I recommend Alcatraz if you have never been there. Also, a walk along the waterfront will give you some great views. I like to walk toward Fisherman’s Wharf (not recommending you actually go there – the ultimate tourist trap!) and then walk back through Chinatown and Nob Hill. If you like museums, the Asian Art Museum is a few Bart stops from SOMA or you can bus/Uber to Golden Gate Park for the de Young (GGP is a great place to spend the day anyway) or to the Palace of Fine Arts (with a walk down to Land’s End if the weather is clear).

        What kinds of things do you like to do?

  11. TO Lawyer

    Ladies I need some advice about what to buy my boyfriend for his birthday. We’ll have been together for almost 6 months by then so I don’t want to go overboard but I want it to be special. The problem is that he’s difficult to shop for. He’s a minimalist so wouldn’t welcome more unnecessary stuff. Usually I’m really good at gifts for boyfriends but I’m stuck. Any suggestions?

    • Anonymous

      Something that calls to mind a fun experience you’ve had together. Wine you drink at your favorite restaurant. A membership to the state park you hike in. A subscription to a travel magazine or airline club passes. Tickets to a concert. Something that say yes, I have learned some things about you in the last 6 months.

    • curious

      What price range are you looking for? Could you get him tickets to an event? For example, if he’s a fan of whiskey, maybe get tickets to an upscale whiskey tasting event? Tickets to events range from $100 to $250 (or even cheaper, depending on the event).

    • Anonymous

      Beer/whiskey tasting
      Concert tickets
      Cooking class if he likes to cook
      Baking class if he likes to bake
      Basically the same as what others have said.

    • kc esq

      One of my husband’s favorite ever gifts from me was the first one I got him: an NFL regulation leather football. If your bf is at all into sports and doesn’t have one, it could be an exception to the minimalism because it is the kind of thing where one can last a lifetime.

    • Sydeny Bristow

      Does he have a sport that he follows? My fiancé loves it when I get really good tickets to a baseball game (either in his hometown or when his team comes to play in our city).

  12. Anon Boston

    My husband and I are going to Europe in July and will be in both London and Dublin for a few days. Anyone have any suggestions for hotels and/or attractions that you loved? TIA!

    • Baby Litigator

      If you’re in the mood for something extravagant while in London, I highly recommend having tea at the Savoy, and returning to their champagne bar in the evening for champagne / cocktails and music. They have different live musicians all the time. The area where you have tea is right outside the champagne bar – I recommend asking the host / hostess at the bar the best time to arrive later that night to maximize your chances of getting a table. They’re more likely to help you because they know you’ve just had tea.

      My fiance and I got the London Pass while we were in London and loved it. It gives you entry (and line bypass in some cases) to most of the historical tourist destinations in the city, if you’re into that. You can also add a metropass onto the London Pass for less than the cost of buying a metropass yourself, which was a life saver.

      • Anon

        If you are really in the mood to splurge, I stayed at the Savoy last summer and it was one of the nicest hotels I’ve ever stayed at in terms of service, etc. Truly fantastic–expensive but wonderful.

        The tea at the Savoy is also great but I made the mistake of not coming very hungry–it’s all you can eat and they sell it by the course (i.e., you pay for the sandwich course or the pastry course, then you can have as many of each as you want). You can also buy the whole thing. I wish I’d had room to try more than just the pastries!

    • Anon

      In Dublin I loved the restaurants The Winding Stair and the Pig’s Ear. Queen of Tarts for delicious chocolate cake. Kilmanhaim Gaol is probably the most interesting attraction in Dublin (to me), but it does involve a bus ride as it’s outside the city. Sitting in Merrion Square park is pure bliss. I absolutely love Dublin.

      As for London, my favorite attraction is the Tower of London. So awesome. I like staying in Kensington or Marylbone. Wouldn’t necessarily recommend it in other cities but the hop-on, hop-off Big Bus is great in London because it’s an easy way to get to all the big attractions and it’s really beautiful sitting on top riding back and forth across the various bridges.

    • Beth

      I lived in Ireland in southern Dublin and I think you miss some of the charm of Ireland – ruins, beautiful green landscapes, charming towns – staying only in Dublin. Luckily it is super easy to do charming day trips. I like: Newgrange (a stone age tomb about an hour north of Dublin. Easy to drive to, or Mary Gibbons does a lovely bus tour from Downtown Dublin that was infinitely less cheesy/manufactured than I expected); Glendalough (round tower and monastic ruins about an hour south of Dublin. Also quite easy to drive to). In Dublin itself, I HIGHLY recommend the Literary Pub Crawl. Super interesting, lots of fun, and it attracts a really nice group of people.

      • Anon Boston

        Thank you so much to all of you for the suggestions, I am writing them all down!! Beth, yes, I know you are definitely right about all the amazing things outside of Dublin. We have family we will be visiting in another part of Ireland but they don’t have many pointers for Dublin and London which is why I figured I would check with the Hive. Thank you for the suggestions!!

        • SameSameNameName

          in Dublin I would recommend getting the Dart out to Howth (20 mins and costs less than €3) which is a working harbour full of fabulous seafood restaurants and bars. You can get scraps of fish and feed it to the sea lions that will come up to the pier to greet you.
          I also recommend going on the Viking Splash Tour (http://vikingsplash.com/). It is tour bus/ boat that brings you around the city. It’s such a unique and fun experience. The guide encourages you to scare passers-by by roaring at them.
          i agree with all the other comments re Book of Kells, Christchurch, Guinness, Temple Bar. There is so much to see and do in Dublin. You will love it.
          PS always carry an umbrella. The weather can and will go from beautiful warm sunshine to torrential rain and back again in the blink of an eye.

    • A

      See the book of Kells and Newgrange while you’re in Dublin. If you have time, you can rent a car and drive to Newgrange, and around to other small towns before you head back to the city. Driving around is so much fun there. The temple bar area in Dublin is touristy but fun at night.

      Also, if you are flying to America from Dublin, you may go through US customs at the airport and will need an extra hour for that. I saw people miss their flights because they didn’t know about it and the process was not quick. However, it gets it out of the way sooner!

  13. Anon

    I just found out that a mentor/friend has what looks to be Stage IV cancer. We only see each other a couple times a year despite living in the city, so while we are friends we do not see each other often and I was surprised he called to tell me over the phone. He has not started treatment yet and is still feeling like himself, but it’s obviously serious (best guess at this stage is that it may be a 50% survival rate). He’s married and has a young child, and I think they already rely pretty heavily on outside help at home (so cleaning, food, etc. are likely covered). Is there anything I can/should be thinking about it terms of support? I don’t want to crowd him (like I said, we don’t see each other often) but I want to be as good of a friend as possible and don’t know where to start. (And I don’t want to do something for the sake of doing something if it really only serves to make me feel better, if that makes sense).

    Suggestions from those who have been there?

    • WJM-TV

      My grandmother had Stage IV cancer, and I think for her, what I could do was to distract her. We talked about our regular topics. If she wanted to talk about cancer, she did. I didn’t press it. I cooked her favorite foods that she asked for.

      So, he will either ask for you do something, or you can keep up your routine. Ask if there is anything you can do. Ask his spouse if there is anything you can do. When he does start treatment, that will likely take it out of him energy-wise, so visit now/soon while you can and he is feeling good. There are good days and bad days — be prepared to change plans if a bad day happens on what should have been a good day. He may not feel up to outings, even on good days.

    • mascot

      What about writing him a nice note saying how much you enjoy his friendship/mentoring, that you are thinking of him and the family, and hoping for good days ahead. Hopefully this provides some emotional support for him and might be a nice thing for the family to hang onto for the kids.

      • Meg Murry

        I was going to say the same thing. Tell him how much his mentorship has meant to you.

        Do you know the kid at all/are you good with kids that age? If so, being available to babysit so his wife can take him to treatments or take care of him when he’s not feeling well would be helpful. If you aren’t familiar with the kid this may not be as helpful though.

        Even if he doesn’t reply, I think it would be a good idea to plan to send “thinking of you” cards/emails every so often – there is often a rush of support at the beginning of a diagnosis, and then lots of people fade away.

      • fasdf

        I appreciate where you’re coming from here, but it’s easy for this kind of gesture to come across as a goodbye message.

    • anon a mouse

      I would like to give a plug to Emily McDowell’s amazing new line of empathy cards here. I’m a huge fan of her work generally and these are really good for awkward situations where a “get well soon” doesn’t cut it.

      I second the suggestion to visit now, when he’s still feeling well enough to visit. Check in once he starts treatment, both with him and his wife. Long illnesses are challenging to keep up a support network – there may come a point where you can organize a meal train for him (or contribute to one).

  14. curious

    Has anyone purchased LK Bennette Sledge pumps or Haper pumps? I’d like to purchase them, but haven’t heard many reviews…. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

    • Emily

      I have them. They’re comfy, but as a solidly flats person, anything over 1 hour of standing is too much. I don’t know how Kate does it. Also, the platform looks great in photos but looks silly in real life, IMHO. On the other hand, I’m so planning on wearing them to a wedding in July.

  15. Rarara

    Vent of the day: I’m a youngish attorney, and I look younger than I am (for now!), and I really truly hate being called “honey” or “sweetie” in the office. I just feel like it’s so unprofessional and condescending! And I’m working my tail off to be taken seriously, dressing conservatively, speaking in a “grown-up” tone always, only to be told, “aww, honey, good for you.” Grrr. Anyone else get honey-ed at work?

    • Brunette Elle Woods

      I get called honey or sweetie very often. I would like to politely tell them “it’s Brunette Elle Woods, not honey!” I’m interested in seeing other responses on how to correct people when they use this language. It is so unprofessional of them!

    • Boston Legal Eagle

      Depends on who is saying this. A partner who you do work for? Probably problematic. An older secretary? It might just be a generational thing. I used to have an older secretary call me (and also young male attorneys) kiddo and honey and didn’t worry too much about it.

    • Bri

      I do. I respond by looking back with a perplexed look on my face, and saying “pardon?” or “I’m sorry, what?” If they repeat the sentence without using “honey,” etc., sometimes I will respond with “Oh ok, I thought you called me honey!” with a relieved look. If they respond with the term again – well, there’s not much you can do without being aggressive or more direct.

  16. Anonymous

    Former lawyers, at what stage in your career did you leave law and what do you do now? I need to hear some successful escape stories today

  17. Anon

    Looking for pictures of examples of attire appropriate for federal district court. Will be in a courtroom for 5-7 days and need appropriate attire that travels well.

    Thanks for suggestions!

    • Anon

      A suit. I guess it also depends on what you will be doing. Sitting at counsel table for a jury trial? Participating in the trial? Sitting and observing? But you can’t go wrong with a couple of conservative suits.

    • Need to Improve

      If you are a lawyer appearing in court, a suit. With hose if it’s a skirt suit. That’s true whether you are speaking or sitting at counsel table but entering an appearance.

      If you are there to watch and sitting with the general audience, then business casual is fine, unless you are somehow involved in the case professionally and will see a client or opposing counsel or think the judge will recognize you.

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