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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Marceline Cardigan

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A woman wearing a blue/cream knit cardigan, a white top, blue-and-white floral print pants, and several jewelry pieces

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I know it’s odd to be looking for chunky cardigans in July, but the air conditioning in my office is just a little bit over the top right now. I’m searching for something to add to my repertoire that feels more summery than what I’m currently wearing.

This sweater jacket from J.McLaughlin looks cozy enough, but the trim gives it a touch of whimsy that feels a bit more summer appropriate. The blue/cream knit would pair nicely with most neutrals, and I can easily think of at least five outfits I could make with items already in my closet. Score!

The sweater is $328 and comes in sizes XS-XL. It also comes in a pink/tan knit. 

A more affordable option is from Halogen; it's on sale for $34.99 (marked down from $79) at Nordstrom but is available in lucky sizes only.

Sales of note for 8/2:

194 Comments

  1. Has anyone worked with what you’d call a career therapist rather than a career coach?
    I’m a senior director, objectively doing well in my rather niche non-legal career, but I’ve hit a strange point where I don’t think my problem is résumé, interviewing, salary negotiation, or leadership skills. It’s more existential.
    I feel simultaneously successful and stuck. I know I want a bigger impact, more visibility, and a clearer sense of what’s next, but I’m struggling to untangle whether that’s a career strategy problem, burnout, identity, ambition, organizational politics, or just being at a stage where the next move isn’t obvious.
    A traditional therapist doesn’t seem career-focused enough, while most career coaches seem geared toward job searching, promotions, or interview prep.
    Is there a profession (or a particular type of coach, psychologist, or advisor) that helps high-achieving women work through this kind of mid-career crossroads? I’d love recommendations or experiences.

    1. If you did an MBA or similar, this is something a peer network might be able to help with. Stanford used to do regular circles for women mbas.

      It’s usually to do with needing a more developed network, a broader skillset including stellar interpersonal skills, or not being in the right corporate environment.

      Can you imagine if Corporette started to do monthly zoom chats for career women?! That might be awesome…

    2. I think this is part of the career where you pivot more to passion projects. I regularly interview CFOs and other business leaders and many in this leg of career begin to dive in heavily to speaking, mentoring, board work, etc. They get involved in professional associations at a different level. Their business network deepens in new ways and they often continue to climb but that seems secondary to the desire to follow their professional passion projects.

    3. No idea, as I also am having an existential career crisis that I think I need to figure out for myself. I am coming to grips with the fact that I have lost the ambition that I used to have. Like I would enjoy the benefits of more success, but my desire to actually get there is gone. It’s like I’ve used up all my energy to get where I’m at and there’s nothing left to do more. The passion has left the building, so even the passion-project route just feels like more of the same. I would love to switch careers entirely, but to what?

      1. I am in a similar place. I am about to get laid off from one of the last remaining jobs in my incredibly specialized field that has been decimated by federal and private funding cuts. I could try to transfer my technical skills to a new subject matter area, but everyone wants both technical skills and deep subject matter expertise. And over the past few years I’ve realized I just don’t want a high-pressure, high-travel job working with people who get overly worked up over things any more. I am seriously considering downshifting to a career with 1/3 the salary and zero prestige, but where I can imagine myself contentedly puttering away while focusing seriously on my hobby for the next 16 years until I can retire. I have been on law review, managed large project teams, been PI on huge grants, done the whole working-mom-stretched-thin thing, and none of it was satisfying or made a difference in the world the way I hoped it would. Now I am done girbossing and just want to live my life while I still can.

        1. You and I are very similar. I don’t know if my job is considered prestigious, really, but it’s a public sector job that I’ve worked very hard to be good at. I have been a believer in the mission, but I am so tired of the pressure and faux emergencies and ego. I agree that my tolerance for people who get worked up about everything is rapidly disappearing. No thanks. What we’re doing is not that important; even the general public says so.

    4. Look for therapists that are well credentialed, cash only, LGBTQ affirming (I think that’s the right term), and in really rich neighborhoods (last part fairly key). That combination has been the right criteria for several of my friends looking for a therapist for similar issues. Don’t ask me why but that tends to get the therapists for people with big jobs.

    5. No, but I’ve wished for this (in law, but looking for what I can do in the final 10-20 years of working and how to plan for that now). I’ve launched and survived motherhood and practicing, but what can I do with my life once my time is my own again?

    6. Sheila M. Wilkinson! I found her through a rec right here in these comments, and think she would be perfect for you. Easily Google-able and based in New Orleans but does everything virtually.

    9. You want an executive coach or possibly a career coach that focuses on career transitions. An executive coach is probably going to help you get to the C- suite level. But if you’re thinking transitioning into something else like solo practitioner, there are coaches that do that too.

  2. Posting mainly because I think this is funny and I know one of you will think I’m an AH.

    I’m a prolific baker, but I tend to do creative things that strike my fancy: blueberry lime pound cake, pumpkin marshmallow cookies, coconut cardamom blondies, etc. About 5 years ago when I first started my job I would bring in my bakes to share with the office, while they were always 100% eaten I’d get a few snide comments about making ‘normal’ treats, one too many comments and the treats started going to my husband’s office instead because no I’m not a bakery. Last week my boss came through on a really big promotion so I made her chocolate chip cookies yesterday, her fave, the whole batch was hers not to share. Oh the firestorm that kicked off I finally made ‘normal’ treats and wouldn’t share.

    1. Where do you live that these things are weird? It’s not like marshmallow, pumpkin, lime, coconut, or blueberry are particularly unusual ingredients, and in my Midwestern city with lots of Scandinavian heritage, cardamom is almost as normal as cinnamon.

      1. I’m in the Midwest and while most people have eaten these things, there are a lot of people who would prefer classics like chocolate chip cookies and brownies.
        Super rude to demand it of someone making free treats though!

        1. I’m from a rural area in the west that would get those sort of comments along with a snippy “not from here” comment from a few jerks. These are the same people who think mayonnaise is spicy.

        2. Where I grew up in the midwest, I feel like there were always some self designated normalcy police, even if a lot people were more adventurous or curious.

          1. Oh God yes… the “but that’s the way it’s always been” people. They exist everywhere, but are particularly loud in my current (struggling) town. Gee, maybe ossificstion is a big part of why it’s struggling???

    2. I’m a baker too and I love this! I tend to avoid baking for others because people get really weird about it. No, I don’t work for you, I’m not going to bake to your specific taste. No, I don’t want to “open a bakery” because I know what actually goes into that and this is my hobby, not a career. Yes, I often bake for “just” me because I’m allowed to do nice things for myself. Getting to the point where I don’t even tell people about my baking hobby because more often than not they get weird or entitled about it.

      Put me in the cranky baker camp.

    3. A coworker of mine also loves to bake but doesn’t want to eat everything he makes and he lives alone. He fills our office kitchen with all kinds of incredible baked goods in combinations that are not quote normal. And we love it! He will retire in about 5 years and we currently are encouraging him to keep baking in retirement and then bringing his creations to us to enjoy. I think it’s awesome that you do this too!

    5. See, and I have a couple of friends that I know don’t consider me a “real” baker because I like sticking to classic flavors and rarely try the “weird” stuff. Which isn’t that weird, btw, but I like what I like.

      1. If I’m at an ice cream shop and the “top flavors” are things like “cinnamon Bergamot” and “lavender with black peppercorn flakes,” I’m out.

        2. Same! I seriously dislike creative baked goods, but I’d never say anything to someone who brings them into the office.

        3. This is just about the only type of ice cream that tempts me! But I think the reason is that I don’t really like sweets (I wouldn’t want any of the bakery described, normal or creative). So desserts for people who don’t like desserts is a kind of funny concept.

        4. One of the reasons I dislike those ice cream shoppes is that they seem to focus more on creativity than on excelling at the basics. It’s easier to make Ube Adzuki than to make truly outstanding chocolate.

          2. I’ll take all the lavender, cardamom, and cinnamon and leave y’all with the gross fake vanilla.

          3. The point is that high-end ice cream should have real vanilla, and it should be quite good.

          1. It’s literally a spice, and I love it, but please don’t be rude to whoever said they don’t enjoy it.

      2. Same. I’m a pretty adventurous eater but I really prefer the classic things for sweets. I’m also a chocoholic and don’t really have any interest in eating a dessert that doesn’t have chocolate. I love bluberries but prefer them in breakfast foods like muffins and pancakes.

        1. My bff describes herself as an ‘adventureous’ eater but when push comes to shove I’ve never seen her order anything even remotely interesting on a menu. She’ll go to ethnic restaurants but then get the white people option (i.e. butter chicken at an Indian place)

        2. Maybe the reason that the things OP makes sound pretty normal to me is that I’m not a big chocolate fan. Once you’re looking beyond chocolate, it’s pretty obvious to move on to pumpkin, berry, citrus and spice, so those are all my usual go tos (but also still pretty classic and common at any bakery).

          1. I feel like blueberry lime is kind of an unusual combination, I can’t recall seeing that in a bakery recently. Lemon is a way more common ac1d. It sounds good though, for someone who’s into berry desserts. I personally don’t like marshmallow or shredded coconut so would pass on those but agree they aren’t that weird. I loooove all things pumpkin, but again coming back to the chocolate thing – if a pumpkin baked good doesn’t have chocolate I consider it a breakfast food ;)

    6. I get it. I went on a cookie baking binge a few years ago and made several different kinds of cookies, none of which were chocolate chip. I remember my boyfriend looking at me kind of mournfully and saying, You’re never going to make regular cookies, are you? He did appreciate the weird cookies so I wasn’t offended, I thought it was kind of funny.

    7. Do you label the baked goods? I can see why people complain if they have food allergies or they bite into a cookie expecting chocolate then taste coconut instead. But if you tell people what’s in the item…why on earth are they complaining about free treats?

      1. Lol, yes all Tupperware had a post-it which said for example ‘Coconut cardamom blondies. Contains: Soy, May contain traces of other allergens’.

        No one was tricked into eating exotic spices nor were they poisoned.

        1. In that case I’m sorry your coworkers suck so badly. Hopefully your husband’s coworkers are more appreciative

      1. I didn’t advertise it, but my boss had the Tupperware and card sitting on her desk after I gave them to her. She didn’t like immediately run to her car and hide them.

    9. Your treats sound AMAZING – glad you choose to share with those who appreciate them.

    10. So, you are the AH if you baked FOR your office- you should make people-pleasers.

      If you baked for yourself and brought leftovers things to the office, then your ungrateful coworkers are the AH.

      1. But hey all got eaten, so clearly people were pleased? There’s no dessert that 100% of people like. It’s ridiculous for outliers to feel entitled to what they like because they perceive their tastes as more standard when in fact they’re in a minority.

      2. I would agree if this were for an office party, etc. But frankly, if someone is nice enough to bring in blondies, etc. just because, I don’t think they need to take requests, provided that everything is labeled (which OP said it was).

        We routinely order in baked goods for birthdays or celebrations (where we make sure everyone has something that they will like/eat), but folks also sometimes randomly bring in treats to share. Sometimes those extra treats are classics, and sometimes they’re a little more intricate. I’ve never once been upset that someone brought in something that I didn’t prefer. If I care that much, I can bring in treats or to buy my own chocolate chip cookie.

        1. I think it’s fine even if you’re bringing stuff for an office party.

          A workplace shouldn’t 1) cost shift 2) to employees 3) who are not professional chefs and 4) do not maintain professional kitchens and cleaning standards. If the employer wants to host an event then it should provide food. Employees are welcome to bring things to share of they want to, which means they are not responsible for bringing crowd pleasers.

      3. She’s bringing in pumpkin marshmallow cookies, not microwaving fish. It’s okay, I promise.

        3. This was my comment and what I mean is, if she is baking with the intent to bring a delicious treat her coworkers will enjoy, then she should read the room and bake vanilla stuff. Otherwise it does read like she is baking “at” them.

          However!! If she is baking for herself as a hobby and simply bringing in excess for others to enjoy, then of course she’s not the AH.

    11. Ok but do you have a blueberry lime pound cake recipe you’d like to share? I love blueberry lemon everything and I would love to try it with lime!

    12. I stopped bringing cookies to work when my obnoxious co-worker told me FOUR times in one day that she didn’t like coconut (which the cookies I’d brought in that day had). Seriously?! Like I’m expected to guess your preferences, and bake (out of the goodness of my heart) to fit your wants? Nope.

  3. Ever realize your celebrity crush was way off? When I was young, I was Team Ben over Team Matt (all of us chose one). Watching Matt Damon give interviews now, it’s shocking how off my picker was. He is the whole package —he’s charming, a family guy, intelligent, and has aged like fine wine. Ben is…not. I wonder how many gems IRL younger me might have missed?

    1. Matt seems like a good dude. I would actually be pretty sad if a scandal broke on him, he seems so wholesome with his wife and daughters.

      1. and step-daughter

        I think while people rag on step parents a lot (often deserved), the ones who step up are really gems.

    2. I really never understood the appeal of either of those two and still don’t see it. But I liked Johnny Depp when I was young, so I guess that’s a lot worse!

      1. Haha, same. No thanks to Ben or Matt. My only celebrity crush that has endured is Anthony Kiedis, but I still have zero desire to actually meet him.

    3. I would have been far more into Matt Damon, but men who are family men appeal to me.

    4. Ugh, I was also Team Ben, and what a tragic decision that turned out to be, lol. Matt Damon has aged SO well.

    5. Team Sam Neill / Reilly, Ace of Spies 4ever
      Also: Pierce Brosnan, who seems like a fine human

      1. Pierce was my first celeb crush (thanks re-runs of Remington Steele on PAX every afternoon when I was in middle school). He does seem like a really good husband and father but the RFK support turned me off :(

        1. I missed that. RFK seems to say what half of the health influencers say. If a lie is repeated often enough, it may not become true, but I get how the “truthiness” sucks people in. There is a a place where “inflammation” is a legitimate thing and then there are the people who want to buy their healing crystals or whatever. I feel bad for scientists now.

          Will keep my crushes theoretical and hotness / vibes only.

          1. I think they met through the environmental work he and his wife do (which, tbf, RFK is on the correct side of those issues) and have a friendship that transcends politics but still ick.

        2. When it comes to RFK Jr. himself, I’m pretty annoyed – he did some very important environmental protection work for rivers around the world (ranging from New York to South America) and is a whitewater kayaker, which I always find attractive. Then he became…what he is now.

          1. yes I’m in m0d for the T word but Pierce’s connection to him is through the environmental stuff. Pierce and his wife are huge advocates for environmental protection and RFK is on the correct side of those issues. I believe they have a long-standing friendship with him through that connection so I do understand it a little bit but still kind of gives me an ick.

    7. I wouldn’t want to be married to Ben but he’s still physically hot and apparently very charismatic so tbh I still get the appeal. I also don’t really believe Matt is as wholesome as he portrays, but I don’t really believe any famous actors or politicians are faithful. (Not because I think all men would cheat if they had the opportunity, but it takes a certain fame-seeking personality type to go into these careers and that personality type is very pre-disposed to cheating.)

      1. Well that is silly. There are all kinds of personality types that end up famous in the arts. There are also different motivations for getting into politics.

        1. Nah, my husband would never want to be a politician or movie star (we’re talking A-list level fame here, which is very different than just making a living in the arts). Neither would most good men I know.

          1. Oh don’t be ridiculous, Andrea – everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us.

          2. I think people just don’t think as much about the A-list actors whose scandals don’t win them headlines. So it’s circular. You’ll definitely be more famous if you get into a lot of trouble!

      2. I kind of agree with all of this.

        Why I think I “like” some people in a philsophical way (vs a he’s hot sort of way) is that for years, if not longer, there haven’t been public dust-ups and drama. Maybe they just have a lot of money and NDAs to smooth things over, maybe they just pick stable no-drama partners, or maybe they are just normal people. I can think of so many people with really theatrical breakups, kid drama, ex drama, etc., that I think that any celebrity could easily be overwhelmed with that (throw in family members wanting your money, Markle-type family drama, Lohan or Spears dysfunction, substance abuse, mental problems and being “unremarkable” becomes somewhat of a remarkable achievement).

        It’s fascinating to observe, but unless the toys are really that great, probably not fun to live through.

        The best thing about Ben is picking Jennifer Garner to be the mother of his kids. She seems to be “normal” for Hollywood (but who knows). He also picked Jennifer Lopez twice.

        1. Friend of mine knew JG when their mutual kids were small (same $$$ private school). Said she was extremely involved and super nice, way more than necessary or usual. Didn’t think much of him.

      3. Remember Matt Damon broke up with Minnie Driver by announcing he’s single in an interview. He wasn’t always an angel. To be fair he was young and since then he’s had zero public drama. While I wouldn’t be surprised to learn any celebrity cheats on their spouse at least Matt has the good sense to be discreet if he does. Maybe he’s not normal for a civilian but he seems as normal as an A-list celebrity van be.

        Ben is an alcoholic who calls the paparazzi on himself. He definitely thrives on the attention and drama.

        1. Jen G also calls paps. I do believe a lot of the positive things about her are true – that she’s a great mom, that she’s warm and friendly even to non-famous people, that she’s a good boss, etc. But it’s been well known for years that she calls the paps. She is papped 100x more than people like Jen Aniston who are a lot more famous, and not just when she was with Ben.

        2. Oh, just saw a lot of Minnie Driver in the 1999 film of An Ideal Husband. She’s still awesome – it was nice to visit with her talented self again.

    8. Opposite vein. I just appreciate every time I find out that one of the musicians the moral majority fought so hard against as bad corrupting influences turn out to be completely unproblematic, often but not always quietly mainstream religious, and living a normal life other than going on tour each summer.

    9. Just going by looks alone, I also subscribe to the theory that most people speak at some point in their life. Ben Affleck was so hot back then, he was looking his best and it was exactly what we were told was desirable at the time. Matt was cute then but kept improving for years.
      I remember when House was big, and then seeing older pictures of Hugh Laurie as a younger actor. He was pretty ugly back then, whereas in the 21st century, his roughish scruffy look was definitely working.

      2. No! I loved him as Bertie Wooster!

        Also, Ben was way hot when he married JLo. He just was. The beard suits him.

        1. Ben Then was only engaged to JLO. He had fallen pretty hard by the time he married her.

          1. I can’t believe I know this because I really could not care about either of them, but you’re thinking about way back in the day. After he and Jennifer Garner got divorced, he got re-engaged to JLo and they got married. I believe they’re now divorced.

      3. Ben Affleck is still super physically attractive to me. He’s a mess, but he’s hot. I like that type of look though.

    10. Ooh what a fun and silly conversation. Between the two, I was always more into Ben. But I am not a fan of all the plastic surgery/fake hair/dyed beard look of now Ben. I just don’t like that fake kind of look on men. It’s trying too hard.

      Best-aging celeb crush is Keanu. I think this is universally acknowledged and happens to be true. He is perfect. A+. No notes.

      1. I still remember an old Television Without Pity piece on Keanu where they just openly appreciated him at a time when he wasn’t generally appreciated. They were right all along.

    11. I don’t think the celebrity crush would be off because Ben is still very attractive and intelligent. Listen to him talk about film or current issues and it’s clear that both are very smart. Ben’s addiction wouldn’t be attractive to me, but I don’t think the point of a crush is to marry them.

    12. I have to say, Ben is much more attractive to me with age/beard. Before he looked like some frat boy that always gets into trouble, destined to go into finance and get into more trouble.

  4. Please share your favorite summer trips with me. Have a week to fill at the end of August. I know it’s last minute so flexible about where to go with two elementary aged kids. Thinking Europe because there are some decent flights from NY for right before Labor Day.

    Related: any Barcelona hotel recs appreciated!

    2. European cities in the summer are brutal, especially as of late. Crazy heatwaves and very limited AC. At that time of year, I’d go somewhere like Iceland or Norway or to a beach destination . We loved Mallorca although our daughter was younger (preschool) when we went. You can fly non-stop on United from Newark. It’s also easy to combine with Barcelona.

    3. Fly to Munich and stay at Stanglwirt in Austria. It is about a 1.5 hour (easy) drive. Beautiful and so much to do!

    4. Just took my rising 3rd grader to London. He liked the Tower of London and double decker buses (we took the bus back to our hotel many days because watching the city go by from the second level was fun). Definitely make sure the hotel has AC. We went to London because it was my kid’s first trip overseas, and combined a relatively short flight with a limited language barrier.

      1. We also had a wonderful trip to London when my daughter was in 1st grade. Super easy to navigate and lots of kid friendly activities. If you want to do a city, I think this would be a great option if your kids haven’t been.

      2. I was also in London with a rising third grader this summer. We had fun but the highlights for her were the Harry Potter studio tour and several Paddington things (Paddington the Musical – this is amazing no matter your age! – and a Paddington themed tea and the Paddington Bear Experience, the latter two of which were more kid-centric). I’m not sure I’d recommend it as wholeheartedly to a kid who isn’t into those characters. The big London museums were really underwhelming to both of us, although we live in the Chicago area and my in-laws are in NYC, and those are probably the two best museum cities in the US.
        Also even with hotel AC, the heat was miserable. Tubes, buses and most museums and restaurants don’t have AC or if the have it it’s very weak.

        1. FWIW, I was the earlier poster who had a great trip to London with a 1st grader and we did not do the Harry Potter studio tour or any Paddington things. And my daughter still loved London (AND we live in NYC)! But we were there during the spring, not the summer, so the weather was not hot, which does help immensely. We also tacked London onto a second (non-city) destination, and it was a good mix of activities.

          1. Yes, this was our first city-only trip with a kid in Europe, which I think is a factor. Generally in Europe we do 3-4 days in a city and 4-5 days in the countryside or near the ocean or mountains. But there’s SO much to do in London (we spent 10 days there and didn’t do everything that had been recommended to me) that I felt like I couldn’t justify time away in the countryside and in hindsight I think that may have been a mistake.

            And the heat made me very grumpy. We were actually there in May so it was really out of the norm, but it was 92-93F on two of the days and above 85 on several other days. I’ve pretty much sworn off Europe in the late spring and summer after this trip unless it’s a beach destination or somewhere like Iceland where it literally never gets that hot.

          2. I do not think my elementary aged kids would enjoy 10 days in a city either. I am a different Anon, but when we did London with our kids, we did 3.5 days in London and 4 days in the countryside. Everyone had a blast. We went during their school spring break, which is late March in our part of the country. It was jacket weather – definitely preferable to 90 degrees in my opinion.

          3. We’ve had several good trips to Europe on our kid’s mid-March spring break, and that’s going to be our go-to time to visit now. I thought London would better in May than March because you hear so much about how yucky it is in early spring, but I would take cold and rainy over extreme heat.

            I’m maybe making it sound worse than it was – it was not a bad trip by any means, just not one of our favorite European destinations if you exclude the character stuff. And the character stuff especially HP was the motivation for the trip for us, so it was fine.

    5. Our favorite summer trip was Nova Scotia and PEI.
      Also a road trip to Montreal via western Massachusetts and Vermont.

  5. My niece is turning 18 next month. She will be starting college at a large Texas university next month too. She enjoys fashion more than anything else, and I’d like to buy a necklace for her. Budget up to $250. She cares about what’s trendy, which is decidedly not within sphere of information.

    Any suggestions for a necklace that is from a brand or is a style that’s popular with college girls right now?

    1. my college aged son got his girlfriend a gorjana paper clip chain with her initial. i think about $150. their stuff is on trend but not real gold, you can’t shower with it…

    2. In Texas, James Avery is a classic gift for young women. Your budget would cover several of their sterling options. I’d do a 16″ necklace for an 18 yo, unless you know for sure she likes a longer necklace. That’s a good length for layering.

      The Texas necklace is very popular with the university crowd. https://www.jamesavery.com/necklaces-chains/texas-gemstone-necklace/NK-965.html?dwvar_NK-965_webGemstone=Red%20Doublet
      There are also lots of cute birthstone options and an infinity slider style.

    3. Not quite a necklace, but especially for Texas universities, Saturday Silks has really fun items. I went to a SLAC and envy the swag that exists for bigger schools.

    4. Answer depends on which school. A&M means you want more traditional options – James Avery, David Yurman, etc. Maybe it’s just that I’m a longhorn, but I’ve also associated A&M with more of the trad wife/ influencer aesthetic. If she is going to UT, you can search through the co-op’s website for lots of longhorn branded jewelry. Style wise, dainty is in. Other brands to look at (regardless of school), kendra scott, gorjana, j landa (more niche houston), and lindsey leigh jewelry (also more niche houston).

    5. Thank you! I ordered a couple items from Gorjana. There is a store near where she lives, so she can easily return if they’re not to her liking. I always appreciate this community’s help with stuff like this!

  6. i travel a fair amount and try to go carry on. have a rolling bag that goes in the overhead and usually use a backpack for under the seat that i specifically bought for the purpose. it has too many pockets and i find it annoying to get in and out of. thinking i would like a tote. anyone have a calpak? worth it? i have plenty of totes in my closet but they don’t zip close.

    1. There’s a tote in yesterday’s post about the NAS.

      Also I ordered the Calpak Luka duffel last year and it was too poofy for me, so I returned it.

    4. I got a Baggu Everyday Cloud and it’s perfect, even has the carry-on strap and a removable clip in bag

  7. getting a quasi promotion within my organization that moves me up and away (currently a deputy c suite, this is chief of staff so dealing with everyone and lots of things). thoughts or suggestions, anecdotes to share… i’ve been promoted before but never moved silos within an organization and not sure what to expect or how to plan.

    1. Congrats! I’m a first time chief of staff and it’s a great role but kind of a weird and sometimes lonely one. I like David Kirby’s book on being a chief of staff and he has an a good frame on getting started. Ask a chief of staff on Substack is also good. I would try to locate and connect with chiefs of staff at other companies. You’ll do great!

      1. Thanks for this! Im also exploring moving in to a similar role—is the Chiefs of Staff Association something you or any other commenter have come across? I’m trying to determine if it is legitimate or if there is value to a certification.

        1. i hadn’t run into it. i actually asked chat gpt if there were organizations and they gave me ones typical to the industry and my profession but not to chief of staff. i’ll look and share my thoughts.

    2. op here: thank you this is all helpful… specifically interested if people have transitioned within the organization, how they delineated the change in role with their interactions with the same people, whether you dressed differently, etc.

      1. Chief of staff (in c suite) often a little dressier as in planning to attend an evening work event. Keep goodwill without keeping your old job by giving people a name to contact as opposed to “not me.”

  8. Shoe people, please help me! I am trying to up my fashion game and that has partially involved buying nice, attractive shoes.

    First, I bought a pair of Margaux Phoebe flats in Nappa Leather. They are beautiful. But they feel…vulnerable. Is there a protection spray I should apply to the soft leather? The soles also feel like they will be ripped up by walking. Do I take them to a cobbler to be reinforced before wearing? Will that help them last? What do I ask for?

    I also bought (significantly cheaper) suede pink slip on Mary Jane sneaker combo. Clearly after one wear, they will get very dirty if I don’t do something to prevent it. Is there any pre-treating I should do? Thanks!

      1. Patina is for casual shoes and work boots. Dress shoes need to stay neat. I spray them all with a leather/suede protectant and will polish smooth leather when it gets scuffed.

    3. I’ve by tempted by the Margaux Phoebe flats myself. Beautiful, but I would immediately take them to a cobbler. Ask for thin rubber outsoles for sure. You can also have them add toe taps and heel taps. (They don’t making a tapping sound, they just add more protection to the most vulnerable parts of the sole.) For the leather itself, get some good cream polish like Meltonian or Saphir and polish them regularly. For this kind of leather, you don’t want a wax (solid) type polish because you don’t want a high shine.

  9. This jacket is lovely but what on the bottom? feel like black isn’t special but not sure what else, would look nice w dark jeans too… anything else?

    2. A navy sheath, trousers, or skirt would look so pretty. Camel-colored trousers with a white top would be great.

  10. I’d like to get a small decorative basket to hold our wallets and sunglasses that is ideally flat on one side to lay against the wall under the key hooks. It seems surprisingly hard to find one that looks good for this purpose – wide enough to easily reach in and grab things, flat on the back. Any ideas on where to look? We’d prefer a wall basket vs. one that sits on the table because our toddler loves to break our glasses.

    1. I googled “wall basket” just now, and a gazillion options came up, looking to be all different sizes. Is part of the issue that they don’t look the way you want? Would you be open to a wall bin rather than a basket?

      1. Sorry, I should have specified that I’m not willing to pay over $100 for it – prices have gotten so out of control lately. A lot of the options I saw on my first couple of passes were priced into the stratosphere for small wicker baskets!

    2. What type of aesthetic are you thinking? Ornate metal, woven water hyacinth, wicker, metal farmhouse, etc?

        1. I purchased wicker baskets at Target late last year. They’re what you describe except they’re not wall baskets. I have them on a shelf, but maybe check there.

        2. https://www.target.com/p/upright-folio-grass-handwoven-threshold-8482/-/A-88867511?sid=1441S&TCID=PDS-336247609&gclsrc=aw.ds&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1247068&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=336247609&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvLfa6NfSlQMVGjYIBR2tlTvVEAQYASABEgKKDPD_BwE

          https://www.target.com/p/woven-wall-pocket-with-faux-leather-loop-taupe-threshold-8482/-/A-89001187?sid=1441S&TCID=PDS-336243049&gclsrc=aw.ds&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1247068&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=336243049&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvLfa6NfSlQMVGjYIBR2tlTvVEAQYAyABEgKTC_D_BwE

    3. We use a wooden valet tray for this purpose. It’s not as deep as a basket, so harder to lose things in the bottom or store too much in it! Etsy has beautiful options, or World Market has decent ones (baskets, too!)

    5. Check FB marketplace. These are a dime a dozen because they used to be popular in the 90s. Personally I prefer brass over wicker though because they’re easy to clean and nothing snags.

    6. I got one from Amazon a couple of years ago. Mine has different dimensions than you are looking for, but they had tons of others.

    8. If you plug in “entryway wall basket” to Amazon search, you get a lot of options.

  11. Has anyone here been to Cyprus? My husband may go next year for work and I’m debating whether I should go too (this is fine w/him and his employer, we do it often) but realizing I don’t know much about the country. Will search online too of course, but this is a well-traveled group so I figured some people may have been.

    1. I have not been, but somewhat relatedly, I’m reading The Island of Lost Trees. Two main characters are a Greek Cypriot and a Turkish Cypriot, who fell in love and escaped to England. The history of the island is fascinating, including its disputed regions. Reading it could be an interesting introduction to the island!

    2. My family are Cypriot (Greek). I love Cyprus. It’s a small island and I still have family living on the north side.

      It’s huge military base is run by the British but being by used by the US. This has made that side of an island a target. Personally, if you have kids, I wouldn’t both go with the current conflict. If you don’t have kids, or are ok with risk of conflict from Iran and other middle eastern countries, I would go, enjoy the mountains, Paphos and baths of Aphrodite. There is a blue lagoon called Green Lagoon close by which my family enjoy.

      There is so much to do and everyone is lovely. It’s just not the safest place right now.

  12. Did your mom or another trusted family member ever give you advice on the types of men to avoid? Looking back, my mom had a really long a specific list of things that she considered deal breakers: men who come on too strong in the beginning, men who talk badly about their ex girlfriends or mothers, men who get drunk and angry or sad instead of silly, men who like to show off, ect.

    If your mom did this, was the advice good? Did you follow it? What kinds of men do you tell your daughters to avoid?

    1. My mom didn’t. We don’t have that kind of relationship. I’m much closer to my dad and he told me two things (at least two things that I remember) and I think both are good pieces of advice, though kind of cliched. “When you go on a date with a man, don’t pay attention to how he treats you, pay attention to how he treats the waiter” (although this was kind of irrelevant because I never really went on any actual dates) and “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” (LOL!)

      1. My dad told me when I was a teenager to wait to date, because the boys my age weren’t “ripe yet.”

    2. No, but I read The Rules at a formative age and always appreciated the advice not to chase men. I watched a lot of people make total fools of themselves chasing men who were obviously not interested.

      1. Op here. I’m in complete agreement on the rules. I think my mom was trying to get me to avoid men she thought were bad or dangerous. But the rules taught me how to date!

      2. “Be a creature that’s impossible to ignore” was also one of their tips. And to do so you should walk on escalator stairs instead of riding up sedately! Why do I remember this twenty years later lol. So it was a mixed bag, but my parents truly gave me no advice at all though I think there was an expectation that I’d marry young and have lots of children (did neither).

    3. My mother never offered advice in men and I can’t imagine it would have been good if she did give it. My dad is the only guy she ever dated, and their marriage has had some really rough patches. They’re still married and currently content, but I can think of 3 different time periods in my childhood when his behavior was definitely divorce-worthy. (I love him, but untreated mental illness…)

      If I was to have a daughter, I don’t think I’d give any advice more than the general “get someone who respects you, this is what respect looks like, this is what disrespect looks like. Don’t be afraid to leave and don’t ignore your gut.” If we had a good enough relationship for it, I would share things that bug me that are my dealbreakers but don’t have to be dealbreakers for everyone. I think the concept “good for you, not for me” or “I would explode, but I’m happy that works for you” is something that applies well to many areas of life and would try and teach that.

    4. Mine focused more on what type of partner to pick than what type to avoid, and she framed it as things she has appreciated about my dad instead of things I should look for. I think that was more helpful, especially during the more rebellious years.

    5. My mom didn’t give advice per se, but she always taught me and my sister to be our own persons outside of any relationship. Her only “advice” was to graduate from college before getting married.

      1. I jokingly but in earnest tell my daughter I don’t want to be a grandmother before 60. I had her at 33 which would make her 27. Obviously if she’s financially stable and married I’m not going to be catatonic if she has a baby at 25 or whatever, but I do think most people do a lot of growing up in their early-mid 20s and ideally you wait to have kids until your late 20s or early 30s.

        1. My mother’s only rule was that I please please please not get pregnant in High School. Though I think, now that I’m childless in my 40s, she’d have preferred her worst fear.

          1. I’m not your mom, but I would 1000% prefer no grandkids to my daughter getting pregnant in high school.

          2. The former teens moms I know have awesome kids and happy families. I’m sure it was hard on their moms.

    6. My mom always recommended that we don’t just settle down with the first guy we date (which is how she found my dad lol). Very much a “do as I say, not as I did,” situation, but honestly, it was pretty good advice.

      She was always adamant that we have careers and be able to make our own money instead of depending on a man. This was clearly based on family history/trauma – my great-grandmother was a widow during the Great Depression, my great-aunt had a terrible spouse, and her own mom was an unhappy 1950s housewife. Mom was also of the opinion that marrying a rich guy wasn’t worth it because you were too vulnerable as a SAHM.

    7. My husband just told my 8th grade daughter that as a former middle school boy himself, he doesn’t recommend them.

    8. My mother never advised who to chose or who to avoid. I was fortunate to grow up in a family where giving and earning respect, intelligence, and kindness were highly valued, and I think I just knew to look for that. The only actual advice she ever gave me was “I do t care how much you love him or how good he is to you, some mornings you will look across the breakfast table and the way he eats his cereal will just piss you off”.

    9. I’ve told my daughter to avoid the guys who don’t know how to take care of themselves. I’ve seen too many women my age who have an albatross of a husband who sucks at basic adulting. Pass. That is a hard life, even if you divorce him.

      1. THIS.

        Also co-sign someone upthread who said to be sure you can support yourself. Have a career before having children; marriages can be reversed but once you have a child, you’ll always have a child.

    10. My mother noticed I’d subscribed to Seventeen magazine and I guess she figured it would take care dating advice. My father said “Guys will try to get away with as much as they can, no matter what, even the nice ones, so be careful.” Needless to say, I didn’t date in high school, went out two or three times in college, and made a hash of my love life over all. Now I’m single with a dog. MUCH better!

  13. I’m having wedding dress regret. 3-months out, and my first fitting on Friday made me realize I’m not “in love” with my dress. I’m a petite 5’3” who chose an a-line, strapless mikado gown. My figure is hidden in my dress. Should I keep looking? Objectively, my dress is beautiful.

    1. I know nothing about wedding dresses, but as a fellow petite 5’3″er, I look objectively better in a sweetheart neckline than a straight across one. Is it possible that a tailor could alter the neckline? That will help show at least your top half curves without having to abandon your current dress.

    2. I planned to get A-line but ended up with mermaid. It looked great while I was posing for photos at the bridal shop. But I hate how all the candids look from my wedding day. A fitted dress will bunch up as you move around and if your posture isn’t perfect all night the style is unforgiving. I wish I had a time machine to pick A-line.

    3. There’s a big FOMO component to wedding dress shopping, and it’s fine not to be in love with your dress, but I wouldn’t change it unless you really hate it. Maybe ask some people close to you if they like it?

    4. Once the alterations are done, you might love the dress after all. Were you “in love” with it when you initially tried it on? If you don’t want to get a whole new wedding dress (3 months might be tight), what about getting a reception dress that shows off your figure?

    5. Wouldn’t be the worst thing to cruise the sample racks and see what’s for sale and available to you this close to the date. You may realize there’s nothing out there ready to buy that you like more than your current dress.

    6. also a soon to be bride….if you feel so off about it that you are asking us, it’s worth looking to see what else is out there. Salons have dresses off the rack. I ordered mine and it only took two weeks. Many brides are trying to sell never worn or even worn dresses. You lose nothing by taking two weeks to see different styles. The initial appointment is so rushed! how can you narrow down to one style (mermaid vs ball gown vs a line …let alone decide on lace and sleeves and neckline) in just one appointment!

    7. My vote is to get an off-the-rack reception dress that shows off your figure more. Best of both worlds.

    8. I sympathize. I have been married twice and knew I didn’t love my wedding dress from my first marriage but wasn’t able to change my mind for budget reasons. I don’t know what your budget is but if you want a custom dress in ~8 weeks, take a look at Les Aimants. Lots of cool designs, a very fast turnaround, and made for you so few/no alterations. Dresses cost $2500 – $3500.

    9. I’d sell it and get something you love. I still regret wearing a strapless dress 20 years later and ended up donating the expensive dress because I disliked it so much.

  14. I bought this sweater jacket and returned it. It was big and boxy and made be look so matronly. I am size 2 and 50 and I looked terrible. YMMV though.

    1. This is timing perfectly — I was just complaining to a coworker yesterday about needing a lighter layer for our freezing conference rooms. The blue/cream combo is gorgeous and honestly more versatile than I expected for summer. Going to keep an eye on that Nordstrom sale too, some good pieces in there this week! like you https://armoniagems.com/collections/bulk-gemstone

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