Coffee Break: Marigold Pump

83 Comments

1. Those of you not using straws, how do you make that happen at a restaurant or bar? I’ve tried to tell the server, but it always gets messed up and I feel like a weirdo. Like once, I said no straw at a Mexican restaurant and instead got no salt on my margarita. Another time, I told the waitress, and she told me that the bartender kept putting a straw in and she kept taking it out. I think she missed the point that I was trying to reduce waste and jsut thought it was a funny story. ??? I also don’t like the plastic things in my Starbucks, but it’s hard to catch the barista before it’s too late. Any tips?

   1. For Starbucks– You could take your own travel mug. I do that a lot and have never been given a hard time.

      For straws, I think a lot of restaurants are still going through a learning curve where they’re getting used to not putting straws in everyone’s drinks. I’m not sure what you can do about it, as long as you tell the person you don’t want a straw– I wouldn’t lecture the server or bartender about plastic waste or get mad about an honest mistake.

      1. Yeah, I definitely don’t get mad or anything. I just see all of these people saying they’ve cut out all straws, and I wasn’t sure if I was missing something. I have not had it work a single time with a straw, honestly. The only time I have had it work is at Starbucks when I’m really on the ball.

         1. If you have a glass or metal straw, you could try taking your own and having it on the table or something when you order so they understand you have your own straw. I’ve had somewhat better results than you but still end up with straws. I think people mean that they’ve cut out using plastic straws on purpose.

   2. Let it go. Ask once, nicely. “I’d like a Diet Coke, no straw please.” If they bring you one anyway just move on.

      1. This. As it becomes more common, servers will be more familiar with the request.

      2. Yep, I just order “[drink], no straw”.

   3. I went to a supposedly straw free resort in the Caribbean last year (there were signs all over the restaurant to that effect) and still received straws in my kids drinks each time. Annoys me bc the straws make them more likely to play with their drinks and thus spill them. (Plus, you know, sea turtles…)

      1. See, I can go no straw for me and do as much as I can, but straws are still a necessary evil in kids cups.

   4. I heard from a co-worker that metal straws in cars are are no-no — something about getting one impaled in your scull if you have an accident while drinking.

      Too alarmist?

      I am on team Tervis Tumbler, but maybe we don’t want to do metal straws with our corporate logo on them if they are not 100% a good idea.

      1. This is a risk I’d be willing to take, personally. It seems like a freak accident type situation to me, as I didn’t really find anything about it on the g-named search engine.

         1. I would imagine a car accident is much more likely, and I drive every day, so…

      2. I think that’s really only an issue if you have problems with motor skills or muscle spasms. Its really really unlikely that will happen to you without those qualifiers.

      3. I purchased silicone straws for this purpose. They are easy to clean and dishwasher safe- I boil them for a little bit to sanitize.
         Mine are the Bubba brand from Target and a pack of five is $4. I keep one in a pencil pouch in my purse along with a stainless fork and spoon.

      4. I’m not sure about the risk of that, but I feel like a metal straw could potentially bang up your mouth if you aren’t careful. I honestly don’t get the appeal of straws in general, maybe switching to cups that do not need straws is a better solution here.

      5. I have to wonder whether plastic straws or swag with corporate logos is a bigger environmental issue to begin with.

      6. Metal straws are chipped tooth waiting to happen. Ask me how I know

   5. For Starbucks, you could ask if they have straw-free lids. My Starbucks has started using those.

      1. Or maybe that’s what you meant by “plastic things”?

         1. I mean t hose green things that fill the hole on your coffee lid for regular coffee. It’s like we’re all going offroading so our coffee is going to slosh all over the place. Nope, my Starbucks is in my building, and I will not spill.

2. I’m trying to drink more water at work, but the only water fountain/sink is on the opposite end of my building and I’m consistently too lazy to walk over and refill my water bottle. I’ve been thinking about getting one of those large water containers from the grocery store that has a tap, but it seems sort of wasteful. I know the answer is just to stop being lazy and walk over the fountain, but when I’m really busy at my desk, it just isn’t happening. Does anybody have any recommendations for a desktop water cooler or a large enough water bottle that I could use to refill a smaller one throughout the day that won’t look hideous on my desk?

   1. Fill it when you’re up for other reasons. If you’re drinking enough water you should be getting up to pee at least a couple of times a day anyway. Or have multiple, regular-size water bottles. I don’t think this is a problem that warrants a huge purchase.

   2. Some people in my office just use regular large pitchers with lids. Or a brita.

   3. Just buy a big Swell bottle. Maybe have an extra smaller glass water bottle too. You should be able to fill both in the morning and be good for the day, assuming a regular work day.

      1. That’s a good idea – I have one that’s 25 ounces but I didn’t realize they came in a huge 64 ounce size. I think if I filled that up in the morning I could just use a smaller bottle or a glass throughout the day.

         1. +1 That’s what I do. I keep the giant bottle in a mini fridge because I like cold water, and fill up my smaller bottle throughout the day.

   4. I have a huge Hydroflask bottle that I can drink out of or use to fill another cup. I carry it to Orangetheory with me too. Love it.

   5. I just keep a big 4 qt picnic pitcher of water at my desk. I fill it up about twice a week.

3. I’m interested in applying to be a Title IX investigator at a small private college. I have an investigative/compliance background but not with Title IX. Any thoughts or tips from those familiar with this arena before I apply?

   1. Lordy — you could not pay me enough. Plus, if you have any biases, that could get thrown back in your face (at least it’s private, but think of the 1982 exposure in a public college) if someone who has been disciplined sues successfully.

      This is an area where I legal training could be v. helpful — what if you had worked at UVA during the fraternity gang rape hoax?

4. Does anyone have advice on raising babies in apartments, specifically walk-ups? We’re thinking about TTC, but housing in our city is expensive, we’re not sure we will be staying long-term, and our rental apartment is pleasant and cheap enough. We have a small office that could work as a nursery, but I’m concerned about the fact that it’s a third-floor walk-up (and also might not be the best in terms of soundproofing – my poor neighbors would definitely hear some crying).
   I feel like everyone I know is buying houses and I will be a terrible parent for even considering this but I’m not sure it’s wise for us to buy or move right now. We would definitely move within the next 2-3 years (either to a bigger place in this city or to a different city). Any feedback from city moms?

   1. This is so so so normal… as far as stairs go, do you have a downstairs landing/small lobby where you could keep your stroller folded up, thus avoiding lugging it up and down the stairs?

   2. Do you have in-unit laundry? That would be a huge plus.

      I’ve put a mini-crib in a closet with a carpeted floor b/c it was the most sound-proof area and then wheeled out the crib to take phone calls in there.

      1. I do! So that’s a plus. We don’t have any carpet though, just hardwood floors and tile, so I would definitely buy a thick rug for soundproofing.

   3. Our daughter spent the first year of her life in an apt – we moved into our house when she was 13mos old.

      Overall it wasnt a problem – we already had a 2bed/2bath when we got pregnant. The latest recommendation is for babies to sleep in their parents room for the first year; our daughter slept in our room for the first 6mos and then we moved her into the other room. When guests (like one of the Grandmas) was visiting, we’d move her back to our room for the visit duration (she slept in a pack n play that was easy to move). We lived in a high rise building with an elevator so we didn’t have to deal with stairs tho. I would think in a walkup apt you’d need to invest in baby carriers instead of a stroller for going out. We skipped a lot of the big furniture (like a crib) and we also wound up renting a storage unit to store some things as our daughter grew.

      In regards to the noise, we never had any complaints or anything about the baby crying. Our building had a lot of young professionals so our bigger worry was drunk folks coming in at 2AM and being loud in the hallways, and waking the baby.

   4. Forget crying, it is the thundering feet running around the house when your kids are older that your neighbors will hear. And they will just have to deal with it – such is apartment life. (I say this as someone who is both a perpetrator and a victim). I think the stroller issue is the biggest one for a walkup, but you will also have to figure out how to get you, child, and groceries/laundry up the stairs if you don’t use delivery services. In terms of space considerations, I’m in NYC and know plenty of people that have kids in 1 bedroom apartments (we did for 6 months), so having a separate nursery sounds luxurious. And of course I don’t think it is terrible for kids to grow up in apartments. They learn to live with other people who are different from them and get to live in interesting places. It’s harder on the parents I think, especially when kids are little, but I think the advantages of city life grow as kids get older.

      1. I live in an apartment complex with very few children, but there is a 2 year old that lives above me. I felt awful the night that I went to ask them to keep the repetitive banging noise on the floor (my ceiling) a bit lower and she told me about said kiddo. If I’d known it was a kid, I would have given much more latitude! (But it was 9:45 pm, what was the kid still doing awake?!) Regardless, I wouldn’t worry too much about the noise, its just part of living in an apartment.

   5. People have been doing it for centuries so I’m sure you’ll be fine. I imagine your kid will spend more time in a front pack than a stroller when young, and you’ll graduate to a lightweight umbrella stroller fairly soon, but there’s nothing wrong with either of these options. Agree with the prior poster that it would be nice to have a downstairs place where you can leave a big stroller but if you don’t, nothing says you have to have a big stroller!

      I wouldn’t put off TTC because of this at all.

   6. Please realize that most of the kids in the world are raised in apartments — in NYC, London, Hong Kong, Mumbai, and even in smaller European and Asian cities. It’s a uniquely American requirement amongst the UMC professional classes that in order to be a good parent, the night the child comes home from the hospital, he must have his own bedroom with a king bed and attached bathroom or else you’re not properly providing for your family. Drives me crazy — coming from a showy culture in the US where your “worth” is directly equated to the size of your house (and the luxury car you drive).

   7. Totally normal to have a baby in a walk up apartment.

      You can buy paintable soundproofing panels at Home Depot to hang on the nursery wall if you have cranky neighbors. They sort of look like a poster size. Paint something cute or just paint to match wall color.

   8. Totally fine – we ended up having two in our third floor walk up before we totally outgrew it when our kids were 3 and 5. Your quads will be powerful! Agree that if you have a place to keep your stroller on a ground floor, your life will be 100 x easier. Since you live in a city, you might be baby wearing a lot anyways. When you have a new walker, you might want to have a lot of rugs because the little pitter patter does carry in terms of sound (I think more than actual crying). 2 – 3 years will go fast and is very doable in an apartment. choose your baby gear in terms of what is small, light.

   9. i lived in an apartment until I was 10. it was a 2 bedroom apartment, and i shared a room with my sister. my mom also says she thought it was much easier to have kids in the city than in the burbs. the building we lived in had an elevator, but we did not have in unit laundry. for childcare we had a nanny so she did a lot of the laundry, which i think made this easier on my parents. we currently live in an apartment with our twins and love it, though again with an elevator. i know lots of people do live in walk ups with kids, though that would be challenging for us

   10. Thanks for the feedback so far. This somehow doesn’t seem that common in our circle, and every time I’ve mentioned staying put, people (and by people, I mostly mean my in-laws) have reacted as though they might be calling child services on me.
       The stroller issue is definitely my biggest concern – there isn’t really a convenient place to leave it downstairs. My friend suggested a baby carrier that clips onto a stroller frame, and leaving the frame in the trunk of the car (which is usually parked right out front – I have reserved parking), but I’m not sure how practical this would be.

       1. Totally easy to leave it in the trunk of your car. I have a double garage suburban house and still did that sonit was ready to go when I drove somewhere. Check mountain buggy nano or the Zoe stroller if you want ones that are easy to carry up with you.

       2. This is what we did until my daughter was 2 and bought a house. Kids really don’t need that much space or stuff…. I mean there IS a sh*t ton of stuff you can buy, but their *actual* needs are minimal. We used a zoe after age 1 because it’s so portable.

       3. We had a car seat that snapped into the stroller and just stored the stroller in the car. It was too large to store in our apartment easily anyhow and we would have constantly been forgetting it, so why bother lugging it up all the stairs at all?

       4. We do his. We actually have a townhouse with a porch, but in an urban neighborhood where stuff gets stolen off of porches, and no convenient indoor storage space. More secure to leave the stroller in the car trunk (we have a sedan, so it’s not visible), and that way we don’t have to store an enormous jogging stroller in the middle of our living room.

   11. I’m only on the second-floor, but babywearing makes a big difference to my ability to get everything and everyone up the stairs.

       You would not be a terrible parent for having children in an apartment! Yikes, is someone telling you that?

   12. My kids are 4 and 6 and have only lived in apartments. With that said, I would have hated to have lived in a walk up, because one of the biggest advantages I see with city dwelling is carting your big stroller around town (Uppababy Vista FTW!). If you can park your stroller downstairs that’s one thing. But if not, most city strollers are bulky and do not lend themselves well to being collapsed and lugged up the steps. On the other hand, if you’re ok skipping the stroller in the city and using a baby carrier, then you should be fine.

5. Boring(ish) question: how did you choose your dishwasher? We are moving to a new house and the existing dishwasher is too small. Budget is kind of important, but please hit me with all your suggestions regardless – we’re first-time appliance buyers and need all the help we can get.

   1. We bought the new version of our beloved discontinued washer (which got fried in a lightning storm) and HAAAAATE it. The old version was spacious, the rack setup was logical, and the cycles were quiet and speedy. The new one doesn’t fit plates properly, clunks and clanks, and takes forever to finish. It feels like a crapshoot.

      I will say that I am deeply attached to the third rack on the top, for things like spatulas and scissors. I also prioritized a stainless interior, since we aren’t always good about fully rinsing tomato sauce.

      I have never had a good experience buying appliances from Lowes or Home Depot. The clerks tell you what you want to hear (and in my case, straight-out lied), because they know they will never see you again. I have found it worthwhile to spend a bit more at a small family-owned place for good service and follow-up.

   2. Bosch because it’s very quiet. I was tired of a running dishwasher sounding like a jet was taking off in the kitchen. The Bosch is so quiet that the main noise from it is the sound of the water sloshing around. Have had it about eight years with zero problems. I do pull the arms and the filter out periodically and clean them.

   3. Kitchen Aid – because when the repairman came to visit our Whirlpool for the last time, after he had also visited our prior GE Cafe many times before it died, he told us that he is almost never called out to repair a Kitchen Aid. It’s been 3 or 4 years now and so far so good.

      1. My Kitchen Aid is at least 15 years old and going strong. We replaced the hose recently which cost $20 on Amazon. And I never rinse anything.

      2. This is not at all helpful to the OP, but my KitchenAid dishwasher is from 1961 and cleans like a champ, unlike our 2015 Bosch in our last place :-)

         1. Wow that is impressive!!

   4. Mine is nothing fancy but works well, doesn’t smell bad or have stains (it’s prob stainless steel on the inside, not sure, though), has a delay start, and is quiet. It’s a Whirlpool Quiet Partner II. I live in an apartment so I don’t know it’s exact age but do know that I haven’t had any problems in the 3 1/2 years I’ve lived in this unit. I suspect it was originally installed in 2009 when the apartments were built. I lived in my previous unit of the same complex for 3 years as well and had no issues. I don’t rinse anything (there’s a WSJ article on why it’s better not to, for those inclined to look). I do use brand name dish tabs and usually keep the rinse aid full.

   5. If you use tupperware or similar containers to store leftovers, take them to make sure they fit.

      Our Bosch works great and is super quiet, but it was clearly designed by people who don’t eat leftovers. Anything beyond standard plates and mugs just does not fit right.

   6. Our current is a GE, I think. Visit Consumer Reports & the Good Housekeeping Institute online and read the reviews. Measure the pans, etc that you are likely to want to put in the dishwasher, so you know how big you need to be able to fit, along with measuring the space.

      When we bought our current dishwasher, we were down to the GE & a Bosch. I love my dad’s Bosch, but it won’t take a full-size cutting board. The newer model Bosch was even worse when we tried it. (The floor help at Lowe’s found it hilarious that I grabbed a cutting board off the shelf in the kitchen section to double-check.)

   7. I went for silent (around 40 desibel) since I have an open kitchen and it would be in my living room, and energy efficient AA+. I also wanted something with an electric water lock (or whatever that’s called in English) to feel safer from potential leaks.

      I identified several machines that filled these criteria, and then went to a store to inspect them and look at the shelves etc. and see which ones seemed my style. I wanted a basket rather than cutlery shelf, e.g.

      Ended up with a Bosch. Very happy with it.

   8. Went to library. Asked for Consumer Reports Annual Buying Guide. Took cell phone photos of list of best dishwashers.
      Start there. Really!

   9. Read the reviews carefully with Bosch–they get top marks for quiet operation, but ours beeped repeatedly several times during each cycle–loud enough to be startling at the other end of the house and forget running it overnight. Bosch Ascenta 24 – SHX3AR75UC; chosen via Consumer Reports. (Did you know your public library might have a free online access portal to the CR web site??)

      We could not turn off the beeps using any of the published procedures or even a few repairman-tip hacks I found online. After almost six months of numerous emails and phone calls, I finally got the help line person who knew the secret code sequence to silence the alerts–I have no confidence that I would have solved it but for happening upon her. I’m not even entirely 100% sure I executed the complex sequence correctly, but it seemed to work and I’m not asking questions. I don’t expect to ever be able to turn the beeps back on if I want to. The spec sheet says the beeps can be easily adjusted but they LIE.

      It also has smelled kind of weird inside–plasticky and a bit industrial–the whole time we’ve owned it. Not like spoiled food or anything. I’ve tried various vinegar/baking soda and other solutions, but we tend to hand-wash day-to-day and I suspect we’d need to run it much more often to keep the smell away.

      That said, it does a pretty good job with the dishes and really is super-quiet now that we got the beeps turned off. Only about 2 years in, so can’t speak to longevity.

      Our previous washer (KitchenAid, probably 12 years old) did a great job but had a spectacularly poorly designed plastic and, basically, twine mechanism on each side that kept correct tension on the door. Each side broke a few times (allowing the door to slam down onto your kneecap) over the years and we were able to fix it…until the time we basically apparently-permanently unhinged the door during the process. Based on our frustration with the design and feeling that something more serious was bound to go wrong soon, we chose to put the service-call money toward a new machine, instead.

6. I don’t work with enough working moms b/c I have to ask you, my interwebs friends, for this.

   My kids are in elementary school. We’ve had a mix of science camps, outdoor non-academic camps, and a couple weeks of 100% babysitter-lounging-by-the-pool weeks each summer (all day camps). In my city, middle school full day camps for working parents aren’t really a thing (and I have one year to figure this out).

   For those of you with slightly older kids, what do you do with them in the summer while you work?

   At 12-14, they aren’t old enough to volunteer (without parent present) or work (although there might be a couple of weeks for counselor-in-training that we could get). They aren’t old enough to get around our city to visit their friends (too many roads I’ve almost been hit on back in the double-stroller days, too many drivers busy texting, etc.) or to the pool on their own. Do they just stay home and watch TV? Go to the 4-week sleep away camps a couple of hours away (that are super expensive)? Get a nanny (to watch them watch TV or go to the pool ad nauseum)?

   Help!

   1. Honestly middle school is old enough to be left home alone, they don’t need a nanny.
      I babysat 2 girls one summer, they were 9 and 13. I was really only there to watch them in the pool. The rest of the time we watched TV or played board games.
      The following summer they stayed at home by themselves.

   2. To be honest I let my kids stay home once they were middle school age. I imagined them taking trips to parks together but they mostly stayed home. They were certainly safe.

      I think kids have very little down time and I was happy to give them summers. They had various projects they took up – my son learned to play guitar (and he is really excellent now at age 16!) and each of them redecorated their rooms at some point, including painting. They also had a fair amount of screen time, not gonna lie.

      I also tasked them with starting dinners and doing the household laundry and dishes and they did an ok job with all of that.

   3. I am not sure why I am in m0d. I let my kids stay home at that age.

   4. I would prefer activities just so they’re not glued to video screens. YMMV.

   5. Is overnight camp for at least part of the summer not a big thing where you live? I feel like my whole year was spent counting down to camp as a child, but I recognize this is kind of a regional thing.

   6. I was babysitting other kids and working other odd jobs (referring soccer on the weekends, in particular) by age 12. They are okay alone, or you could hire someone with a car a few days a week to be their chauffeur so that they can go to the pool or their friends’ houses.

   7. I would do one or two sessions of camp and other than that, let them stay home.

   8. We did a mix. Some of the camps in my area have good offerings for middle school aged kids (art, theater, zoo). I let them pick ONE week-long sleep away camp (because they are pricey). They also spend 2 weeks with the grandparents which definitely helped.

      I then let them stay home a couple of weeks (or partial weeks – especially 4th of July week or a week when I knew I could take a day or two off).

   9. At 13-14 I started interning at my congressperson’s local office. It was not super substantive, but if your eldest is well behaved and curious, ask them if they might be interested. A campaign might also be looking for free labor. This was a great way to get started on feeling out careers and building a resume, without any stress or the cost of camp. You’d just have to do pick ups and drop offs.

   10. Day camp? Art or sports camp for the 12year old? Pawn them off for a week or two on out of town family. Plan a longish vacation/staycation. Consider a part-time(mid morning-afternoon Nanny to take them places on day off.

7. I just moved and my shoe/purse storage situation is less than optimal. I have a bunch of purses and a bunch of shoes/boots/booties. Ideally, I would like a storage solution that takes care of both of them, but could deal with two solutions if they keep the purses organized and the boots standing. I got one of those back of the door purse racks (a Closetmaid) and hated it; the tote bags and bigger purses took up all the space and it was still hard to get anything down. The shoes were previously kept in some of the cube shelf fabric bins, which meant I kept forgetting about shoes I didn’t wear super often but still really liked because they were in the bottom of the bin.

   Any recommendations?

   Also, this is dumb, but what would you search if you wanted some of those organizers to slide onto the bottom of wire shelving (like a metro rack, but in the closet). I know they exist, but searching for them is failing me.

   1. Whoops, this is Inspired by Hermione.

   2. I moved recently and just got a shoe rack for the bottom of my closet and put my purses on a shelf, so I cannot help with that part of your question.

      For the organizers for the bottom of wire shelving– Are you looking for boxes for that? If so, I bought a ton of those on Amazon and just searched for “fabric box 11×11” or whatever size I was looking for. Tons of options came up. There were also a bunch of different patterns and sizes at Target.

   3. I tried the fabric shoe shelves for the bottom of the closet and hated them, they flex and my shoes would fall over.

   4. IKEA

      1. +1 to Ikea. Love their storage cases.

8. I’m organizing a bachelorette party in Miami and struggling with nightlife options. I’m much more into the chill dive bar scene, but the bride really wants the full big Miami night out. Any suggestions for where we should go?
   I’m willing to spend a fair amount to reserve a table somewhere great, but it’s hard to know where would be worth the spend without having been there before!
   (We’re a group of women between 27 and 31 in case that matters) TIA!

   1. I haven’t been in years, so no recs, but I suggest you repost tomorrow morning!

   2. Miami native, but I don’t go out to much due to work. It depends a little bit on where you are staying and if you are okay with ubering out with traffic? Miami Beach, Brickell or Wynwood… although everything is miles-wise close distance, traffic is no joke.I like Broken Shaker, Wynwood Yard, 1-800-Lucky (can get lively), The Anderson, Lagniappe, for chill nights out. Club Space and E11even are popular for the more classic club experience. Blackbird Ordinary, 1-800-lucky and Gramps are a happy medium if DJ is playing late enough.

      Check out all the food halls in Miami. And Cafe Versailles is overrated for Cuban food imho.

      1. thank you!

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