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I do not remember how I came across this brand, but if you like shoes with personality, these suede d'Orsay strappy heels from Mavette are gorgeous.
They in five colorways (including one with black and gray), in EU sizes 35-42 (US sizes 5-12), for $480. The burgundy version is on sale for $358…
(Mavette is apparently known for comfort — they have an athletic foam cushion, inner and outer arch support, a hidden platform in the toebox, a deep heel cup, and rubbersized non-slip soles.)
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Anon
These are so cute. I can’t wear heels like this except for sittin’ but they’re so pretty.
Anon
Same, I don’t wear heels anymore but I love these!
Anon
+2
Mpls
I have them in pink. I wore them for 7 hours for my brother’s wedding :)
Anonymous
oooh, this is dangerous information
how many compliments did you get on your shoes?!
Mpls
I think I got more when I wore them to work to break them (and my feet) in :) Eyes weren’t on me at the wedding.
Anon
Same, I categorically refuse to wear heels anymore but these are so pretty.
Anon
I love the deep garnet/cranberry/mauve version of these but I am on a “replacements only” shopping freeze.
Anonymous
These must replace SOMETHING in your wardrobe, no?
Senior Attorney
I’m drooling over the mixed metallic version…
Anon
Same. I can ruin suede with a bit of marinara but leather has better survival odds with me.
Anon
They’d be perfect wedding shoes, if I were getting married, and if I weren’t already taller than my husband haha
Anon
Haha same, tall girl problems.
Ellen
I love these and can still wear them, if only in court. I hope the manageing partner will continue to give me my 40% clotheing allowance this Fall. The judge is going part time next year b/c he is now over 75, so the manageing partner is also going part time here, and is expecting to be the deputy manageing partner starting in December, under his tootelage, of course.
I think I am ready to take the next step with the deputy position, and Dad thinks it’s funny, but when I told him I was up for a $80,000 raise just for the title, he was humbled! Imagine that? Dad said that when he started out in the goverment, his total salary was only $7,200 a year and that was big money! Have times eva changed!!!!
Anon
Repost from the morning thread I was super late to: Related to the above conversation about sleep, my husband doesn’t snore or grind his teeth, but rather makes sucking/slurping sounds in his sleep. Has anybody ever dealt with this before and is there any way to stop this? Not, of course, that he’s ever tried medical intervention from a doctor or dentist, despite many promises to try. We usually sleep in separate bedrooms but for various reasons have to sleep together for the next few months and I’m about ready to murder him.
Anonymous
Someone else asked about this a while ago for her daughter and it’s an actual diagnosis — trying to remember what it’s called. Or maybe it was that her daughter was groaning in her sleep… that’s catathrenia.
anon
Does anyone have experience (either themselves, or with their kids) of going to a high school that just opened? DS would be a freshman during the school’s second year. Would love to hear the pros and cons. The great news for us is that the district chose an experienced principal who has hand-picked the teaching staff, and, by all accounts, the school has had a smooth start. DH is concerned that there won’t be enough established extracurriculars. Valid point, but that also might make it easier to join things. Our current middle school feeds into this HS, so this would be our “neighborhood” HS. That’s something I personally really value, both from the aspect of being part of a community and not wanting to drive all over town for school activities.
Kiddo was excited about this school until family friends (who attend a different HS) put a bug in his ear about going there instead. I am annoyed and less than enthusiastic about the idea. It is a great school, but it is not close to our house, it’s absolutely enormous, and I don’t think DS is thinking about the fact that he won’t know anybody except this one family! And, to the point of this morning’s discussion, this school has a reputation as a pressure cooker that really turns me off. I’m willing to listen to kiddo’s thoughts on the matter, but DH and I have the final say, and I don’t feel like there’s a compelling reason other than the new school is unfamiliar and doesn’t have an established reputation to rely on.
Anon
Kids do not choose their high school. This is ridiculous that you’re even considering this. Send him to the neighborhood school.
anon
OP here, and it is surprisingly common in my town, especially since several of the public schools offer specialties.
Monday
Yes, it is common where I am as well and not “ridiculous.” My teen stepkids respectively go to 2 specialized public schools that did not exist when I was in high school here, and both are happy. We were fine with letting them choose freely because they can each get to and from their schools on public transit–rides were the only reason it would have really affected us.
Even the newer of the two schools has been around for about 10 years, so I can’t really speak to the “just opened” time period.
anon
Hi so just so you know it’s not 1975 any more and it’s actually a totally common and normal thing for a kid to participate in choosing where they go to school. And it’s also totally common and normal for kids to not go to their districted school, but choose to go to a charter, or private school, etc. Sorry you’ve been stuck in that time warp or cryonic capsule or whatever!
Anon
Don’t think you speak for all school districts, ahole who thinks you’re so with-it. Strictly not allowed in my kids’ school district. Public or private is the only choice.
Anon
LMAO. Sorry you had such a stressful day that you felt like reacting like this was the best way to vent your feelings! I hope tomorrow is better for you!
Anon
P.s don’t take out your anger on your kids tonight! Go punch a pillow or something.
S in Chicago
So you give a nasty response and get called out on being incorrect in a not nice way as well and so you then insinuate the commenter is…a child abuser? Seriously? Way to both look unnecessarily aggressive.
Anon
S in Chicago – calling someone an ahole is okay now?! Cool cool I’ll have to remember that the next time I see you post
Anon
I’m the first commenter at 3 pm but not the 5:29 person. I don’t think it’s ridiculous for kids to have some input into where they’re educated, but I think it’s ridiculous to consider switching schools because a family friend was “in your kid’s ear.” If your kid has expressed an independent desire to attend this school and could articulate good reasons for going there beyond this family friend then it would be a different story.
Anon
Ummmm, I picked my high school in the 90s.
Anonymous
Yes, but not for high school. I did for middle school. It was no big deal. In fact, in some ways, it was great. We had all new facilities and everything was bright and new. My school was part of a larger county school system, so the curriculum was basically set. Most of the teachers actually came from elsewhere in the county as students were moved from other schools to balance sizes and help with overcrowding. I suppose in high school that it could be hard for sports teams, but classroom wise, would probably be fine.
anon
That sounds a lot like our situation. Already part of a larger system and curriculum, and the school was built to relieve crowding on one side of town. Kiddo is more artsy than sporty, so athletics aren’t a consideration other than being part of school life.
Anonymous
Where are all his friends going to school?
Anonymous
Yeah. Ask him if he really wants to be the new kid. The new kid who lives too far away from school to socialize or participate in all the extra curriculars he’d like to, at that.
Anon
+1 go with the friend group.
Anonymous
I was the first freshman class at the new high school in my town. It was a great experience. The school was brand-new had all new technology, and the students and staff were all very excited about it. We had our choice from many extra-curricular activities, including all the usual high school sports and music classes and the ability to create any afterschool clubs that we wanted. Most of the teachers were experienced teachers and the principal was an experienced principal so it wasn’t like a whole bunch of first-years who didn’t know how to run a school.
LawDawg
Very different experience, but my family attended a small, private (religious) school that opened with K-2 and added grades every year. My brother was in the oldest class. There was nothing established and the school was TINY. Under 20 kids in the graduating classes for at least the first seven years. No AP classes. Limited extracurriculars. And somehow, everyone went to college. One brother got a phd. I went to law school. I understand that this was decades ago and many things have changed, but I think it still applies that every situation is about making the most of it. It sounds like this is an established school district and it has plenty of resources. Send him there and take advantage of the newness!
Anon
I think it sounds like a great opportunity to be part of new things and have the chance to start new groups. That’s how you develop leadership skills and stand out from all of the other kids applying for college and entry level jobs.
Anon
Your kid should go where his classmates go. Knowing people on day one of high school is going to be a lot more important than whether the facilities are new or old.
But for what it’s worth I went to the “old” high school and my siblings went to the “new” one. Their experience was basically the same as mine except that everything worked at their school!
No Face
My kids aren’t teens yet, but at that age my goal as a mom would be to really have a conversation and hear DS out. What is exciting about the new school? What is good about the neighborhood school? Thinking through a decision is an important life skill.
Anon
Advantage of new extracurriculars: ALL the school records in sports like track and swimming!
Anon
And bright shiny new equipment and facilities, which is always nice, IMO.
Anonymous
A new high school opened in our district when I was a freshman. The first year it only had grades 9-11. By the second year, when the school had seniors, it was quite competitive in all extracurriculars. They beat our established school in some sports and did well in music. If schools are geographically zoned it’s the same kids who would have gone to the existing schools in previous years, with the same preparation. It really comes down to the quality of the teaching staff and what the principal’s priorities are. A newer school will also have better facilities and equipment and is likely to have more windows, better ventilation, etc. to make a more pleasant learning environment. And the teachers and students will be excited and enthusiastic about being at a new school.
Anonymous
Ok so let’s say I DO want to be a tiger mom – what books or websites should i be reading to get my kid ready? maybe i’ve been too relaxed for too long.
Anonymous
I think you don’t? I mean, every parent thinks their kid is the best. But you don’t want to doom your kids to a lifetime of therapy to undo that kind of parenting.
Anon
Seems like this one is a good website for that!
Also consider whether your child wants/needs such a parent and whether it’s healthy for either of you. Just noting that since you say you haven’t been up to now.
Anon
Just wanted to note that I say this as a person who went to a residential STEM school and has many friends from that world and other “gifted” programs. We are not okay, and a lot of that is due to parental pressure.
burnt out tiger cub
This. My state’s STEM boarding school –> Ivy undergrad –> Prestigious/Elite but non-ivy Masters –> burn out and depression –> corporate job that is not prestigious but is the only one I have manage to find that pays enough (note: enough, not well) and doesn’t cause me debilitating anxiety.
I am nowhere near as “successful” as one would expect given my resume, but the coping and survival skills that got me through the prestigious names on my resume had to go into overdrive to keep me somewhat functioning after I hit the brick wall of burn out. My former classmates and colleagues from employers that are considered elite don’t understand “where I went wrong.” My parents thought they were supporting an ambitious child who wanted these things and on some level probably saw me as the ticket out of my family’s poverty, but I just wanted to financially secure and successful enough. Please don’t be the parent who pushes your child into that pressure cooker environment, especially when you likely have enough financial stability that you don’t need your kid to take care of the whole family.
Anon
Another kid from a residential STEM school checking in. I had more lenient parents than some of my friends, and I’ve still needed years of therapy from growing up in that kind of competitive setting. I have many friends from back then, who are seriously struggling as adults. Please don’t do this.
Anonymous
I have a mom friend(?) who is the definition of a tiger mom. Her daughters attended an incredibly intense, selective high school and were pushed hard in the”right” extracurriculars. The older one is sensitive and anxious and her mom is disappointed that she “only” went to a very good non-elite school and never achieved any recognition for her extracurriculars in high school. She is a delightful, incredibly kind and incredibly intelligent young woman and I think she deserved more happiness in high school. The younger daughter thrives on the competitive environment but is really a horrible, aggressive, mean person. She is not that great at her extracurriculars either, but she is overconfident and thinks she’s amazing. The mom is basically doing her Girl Scout gold award project for her. She is also on track to go to a very good but not elite college. It doesn’t seem like the “benefits” of tiger momming are worth the personal costs to the kids. Maybe the younger kid would still have been an egotist without the excessive parental encouragement, but the older one would sure be happier without the undue pressure, and neither one was ever going to end up at Harvard because on paper they are both generic smart suburban girls with meh extracurriculars. For her own part, the mom dropped out of grad school and has never worked so I think she is getting her sense of status and fulfillment through her kids’ perceived achievements.
Meanwhile, I am the mom over here telling my kid to quit studying now and go to bed and I don’t care that you quit your travel sport for theatre but for the love of all that is holy can you please just remember to submit your college applications? Sloth mom? And I think her outcome will be about the same but maybe with less anxiety than friend’s kid #1 and definitely with more character than kid #2.
Anon
LOL you’re spot on with your first sentence.
Anonymous
I don’t want to be a tiger mom, but the best way to learn to be one is to talk to them. You can identify them pretty quickly by chatting with the other parents at school pickup, kid events, etc. They will happily brag about all the things they are doing to give their kids a leg up.
Anon
Info: how much are you saving for college, and how much are you saving for future therapy sessions for your kids?
Anon
What’s your goal – get into HYP/MIT, violin solo at the philharmonic, a cure for cancer by the time they’re 12? Or do you want a kid who does their best in school, tries hard, and finds intrinsic value in hard work?
Anon
I feel like we talk a good game here but work at places that only hire from certain schools and only certain class ranks at others. It’s a lie to pretend otherwise or like it doesn’t matter.
And we mostly all went to those schools.
I think at some level kid achievement is pay to play based on parental achievement. So do you want your kid to have any ownership of his or her success or to you want that all basically on your ledger? Their failures will always be their failures but what about any legitimate success they could have?
Anon
This comment makes zero sense so thanks for reaffirming to me that getting into an Ivy is meaningless lol.
Anon
This comment made perfect sense to me; there’s just a typo of “to” that should read “do” and some places where an editor would put commas.
Anonymous
Based on the reader demographic surverys, I don’t think you’re right about most people here being from certain schools. I’m a lawyer but I went to state schools with zero recognition outside the area (BS and JD). I work at a fine but not notable firm. I make 100k a few years out of school (second career) And I really don’t think I’m alone.
Anon
+1 I went to a public land grant U worked in my desired career for three years, then went to a fourth tier (at the time) law school, got a six figure job right out, and now I have a cushy in-house job working with lawyers who went to fancy schools. That said, I had pressure as a kid, although different than full on tiger mom, and it took me 20 years of therapy and meds and substance abuse to come out happy and content in my personal life even though I seemed successful. There are many paths to “success.”
Anon
I went to MIT and I don’t think my degree is irrelevant to my career but I don’t think it was the only way here. I work with a lot of State U grads and there’s almost no career except SCOTUS justice that requires an Ivy-type education.
Also grad school is normally way more important than undergrad and it can be easier to get into a prestigious grad school if you went to a slightly less intense undergrad school.
Anon
“Their failures will always be their failures but what about any legitimate success they could have?”
OMG. I am so sorry you had children, if you see pushing them into success as some kind of path to glory and accolades for yourself. Barf.
Anon
“What’s your goal – get into HYP/MIT, violin solo at the philharmonic, a cure for cancer by the time they’re 12? Or do you want a kid who does their best in school, tries hard, and finds intrinsic value in hard work?”
It’s interesting – the Tiger Mom book by Amy Chua really is the latter, not the former. Motivating kids to do their best and know the value of hard work. I don’t agree with every parenting decision she made but her fixation was really not on getting kids on Ivies but on getting kids to reach their full potential. The term “Tiger Mom” has gotten very twisted and now has an Ivy-or-bust connotation that wasn’t there originally.
Anon
One of my daughter’s friends has been so depressed she just dropped out of an Ivy. It turns out it was her mom’s dream. Not hers. Just make sure you know who you’re doing it for.
Anon
I think if you are someone who actively wants to be a tiger mom, by definition you dgaf about what your kid wants.
Anon
How old are your kids? What is their level of academic development thus far?
I am assuming good intentions here. A kid who has years of good academic development behind them is in a better position in high school. Calculus is easier when you have had a great foundation and didn’t just skate by, studying enough tricks to pass the test. Writing is a skill that takes years to develop. Merit scholarships at mid-range schools are becoming very competitive, and a kid who crushes it in high school and then heads to, say, Skidmore on a full ride could do a lot worse in life.
Mpls
First – what is your definition of tiger mom?
Second – what is saying you need to do different? are you failing your kid, or are you failing your expectations of yourself as a parent, but kid is doing fine?
Anon
Research how to tell if kids are taking drugs or vaping, because all the kids of the “tiger moms” we know are taking drugs or vaping. Maybe they’ll make it to the big time, who knows. Not worth the risk, IMO.
Roxie
You go to therapy to unpack why you feel the need to live through your child’s life instead of living your own and supporting them to eventually live their own
Anonymous
There is literally a book about this.
Anon
Read The Age of Opportunity by Lawrence Steinberg where it explains parental styles and the impact on the children. Tiger parenting is not good.
Anonymous
Get your kid ready for what? Your change in parenting style? Needing to follow your plan for their lives instead of their own?
Just type “tiger mom” into your search bar, you’ll get hundreds of results.
I suggest you also read the articles on the psychology sites that give some reasons why you should not be a tiger mom.
Good luck. You’ll likely need it.
Anecdata
What’s the goal – are there places (school?) where you think your kid needs you to be more of an active advocate than you are? Are you worried about your kid not launching / want to help them think through what future options are and how to get there?
Anon
Move to the Bay Area. I’m joking in earnest, but seriously so much of this depends on the culture where you live. The parenting culture there, at least in the “good” towns like Cupertino and Menlo Park is INTENSE. I have two close friends there, neither of whom was at all Tiger Mom-ish originally, but they have gotten swept up in the local culture and now have their 5 year olds in a million resume-building activities, working with private tutors and doing tons of ‘homework’ (worksheets) made by mom and dad every day after school. It’s so different where I live in the Midwest. Some kids here are (in my opinion) overscheduled, but it tends to be too heavy in the sports and music direction, not academics, and kids have a lot more say in what they do.
As just one example of the cultural differences, my friends were appalled when they found out my kid did a zoo camp this summer because they thought I should have had her in a more intellectual camp. I repeat, the kids are FIVE.
Anon
Wow.
Anonymous
what is your go-to outfit for first dates these days? if we’re doing cute tops with jeans again, what kind of cute tops?
Anon
Very weather dependent for me. Everything from a favorite Sezanne floral button down + dark wash high waisted flare jeans, to very big colorful floor length skirt plus simple tank with jean jacket topper, to sequin shorts + tank + jean jacket, to skinny jeans plus a cropped long sleeve blouse with keyhole cutout, to full cycling kit and bike helmet (joke but not a joke as I have gone riding on a first date before).
Anon
I totally had a kit that was my “meet cute boys” kit in my cycling days. (Rapha, fwiw.)
Anon
Rapha is so nice! I have a Cafe du Cycliste winter fleece jersey that I spent way too much money but which I love and looks fab. It’s definitely a first date jersey!
Anon
Were jeans and cute tops out…? I’d focus on something flattering over something up to the minute trendy. Guys aren’t as attuned to women’s fashion trends. I love this top from Artizia. Pick a whichever color that looks best on you https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/tie-front-blouse/95391.html?dwvar_95391_color=22251
Anon
Agree; men just don’t care about fashion the way women do. Obviously a scrunchie in the side of your head with a leotard and leg warmers is outdated. Otherwise, go for something cute that fits you well.
Anon
Somewhat related, I went on a first date with a guy who showed up in a full on tracksuit. To a non-chain $25/plate perfectly fine restaurant, not a theme party. Turns out that’s his thing. *Face palm*
Anon
This is a great top!
ALT
I wore super high waisted white wide leg jeans (Zara Marine Straight) with a cropped black knit tank and flatform sandals on a date recently and felt very chic and sexy. There wasn’t any midriff showing, but it felt very current. I accessorized with gold hoops, gold bangles, a sleek low bun, and glowy skin
Another date outfit that has felt current is a faux-wrap mini skirt that’s high waisted with the same cropped tank. Again, no midriff showing, but the proportions feel very now.
Anon
Help me burry this issue or find my words about a situation that’s been nagging me. In July, I applied for a job at an organization I used to work at (left on good terms, former managers no longer work there so no direct contacts). It’s the type of role I aspire to and meet the requirements. I got contacted shortly after applying by the assistant of the hiring manager to schedule a screen call. We agreed on a date on a Friday and during the weekend I received a canned rejection email. When the assistant sent me the invite the following Monday I responded to confirm if they still wanted to move forward since I had received the rejection email. She apologized and confirmed that they would not move forward. I brushed it off thinking that they probably had an internal applicant or something along those lines. Two months later, the position is still posted (and re-posted). Part of me wants to reach out and say “hey, I’m still interested” but the Ask a Manager reader in me says “Please don’t do that”. Thoughts?
Monday
I’d probably just resubmit my application.
Peaches
Is there anyone you still know and trust at the org who could give you some off-the-record context? Could be budget stuff, could be a looming departmental overhaul, etc. Or their hiring process might just be really, really slow.
anon
I would probably move on. If the position is still open, that means the org hasn’t found what it’s looking for (or has unrealistic expectations).
No Problem
Their obvious disorganization on scheduling an interview and then rejecting you would make me question wanting to work there. There’s probably a reason all of your former managers left.
Anon
Do you know the hiring manager? Or anybody else who would be involved with or aware of the hiring process? I think you could reach out to somebody you know personally to briefly/politely ask, knowing that you might get another rejection.
Explorette
I’d reach out. I can see a scenario where they thought they had someone hired, called off the search, it fell through, and then they forgot about your application. The worst case scenario is that they will say no to you, at which point you know to write this one off and move on.
Anon
I have seen this a LOT in my job hunt – “here’s an interview email” followed by a canned rejection email. It’s a huge red flag and I write it off as a dodged bullet.
Anon
This just happened to me, except I didn’t get the rejection email. They just ghosted me (and yes I followed up and never received a reply, so it wasn’t just a miscommunication). It was such a huge bummer (household name org I really wanted to work for + huge pay increase based on advertised salary) but yeah …I consider it a bullet dodged. I feel like it says something about how they treat their employees.
CreditRisk
Would you go on a date with a guy or remain friends with someone who rejected you like that? I certainly would not have anything to do with them unless they contacted you and apologized profusely. Same rule applies here. They rejected you. Do not go back to these people. They suck.
Anon
This is such a weird take for professional relationships.
CreditRisk
The basis for any relationship, professional or otherwise, starts from both sides respecting each other. I think it’s very rude to say you are going to interview and then basically ghost you with a canned rejection email. That is never going to be a good place to work and you are starting from a position of weakness if you call back.
I asked the question about dating a guy or remaining friends with someone who is this rude, because i think, in both of those examples, the rudeness of the other party is much more clear cut.
Anon
As I’ve aged, I’m noticing that one of my eyelids is droopier than the other. It’s a small but noticeable difference and it makes my eyes look uneven. I hate it. Is this something Botox could fix?
Anon
Haven’t tried it yet but my derm says it’s possible
Anon
Don’t people typically get a lift to bring the lower eyelid up?
I would not pursue Botox if there’s any possibility the droopiness is ocular myasthenia though. That’s a black box contraindication. But it’s unlikely since a little nerve damage is a common cause of asymmetry and myasthenia is a rare cause.
Anon
+1
First, be very very wary of using Botox around lids. Unless the doctor is an artist, it is so easy to screw up and leave you with worse droopiness that lasts for months. I have seen it and it is not pretty.
As someone with family members with this inherited trait, unfortunately most get surgery at some point, leaving on a prolonged “vacation” and returning looking “well rested… refreshed!”
But agree with the prior poster that if you notice at all that the droopiness of the eyelid changes at all during the day… worse later in the day or if you are tired, you need to see a doctor/specialist (neurologist) to make sure you don’t have myasthenia gravis.
Anon
Is it the eyelid or brow? Botox can help even the differences and make more symmetrical but if the lid seems more hooded, blepharoplasty can solve that. I have done Botox for years but now it’s just really excess skin and surgery is scheduled.
Anonymous
Botox will not fix this: only surgery can. Both my FIL and my husband have this (it’s genetic). FIL had surgery to have it fixed in the early 90s: I would bet surgery is more effective now. He’s in his late 60s now and it’s still pretty noticeable but the surgeon did say the muscle would stretch over time. It’s noticeable on DH (late 30s) only in photos. I don’t think people who know him well even realize he has it. If it really bothers you, talk to a surgeon, but I bet most people you meet with day to day don’t even notice. Just my perspective.
Anon
For those who had laser treatment on the lower neck/chest area and had bruising – how many days did the bruising last, did icing (or anything else) help, what did you do about the Vaseline they tell you to apply getting all over your clothes, what about itching?
Anon
Is it for redness? It depends on the type of laser. I had v beam and it gave me little purple dots everywhere -burst capillaries- that slowly faded over about 2 weeks. I wore high necked tops for a while. Pro tip, just wear knit shirts backward.
I’ve also had IPL that did much less bruising but was also far less effective. I’d do v beam again in a heartbeat. I would not waste my money on IPL or broad band IPL “laser,” which is not really laser.
I was advised to ice off and on for the first day to reduce swelling and cool down the areas, since the laser bursts the capillaries by making the blook boil, basically. After that I wasn’t advised to apply vaseline, just gentle wash & moisturizer.
Are they breaking the skin for you?
Anon
It was for Poikiloderma of Civatte, and I’m pretty sure it was fractional non-ablative lasers (not IPL). It did not break the skin. Bruising, which happened immediately, looks like a super cool tribal chest plate tattoo. Maybe I misunderstood about how long I was supposed to use the Vaseline; I will ask the MD office.