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Updated: Jun 14, 2021 115 Comments · by

Coffee Break: The Marlena

Coffee Break

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M.Gemi hasn't been on my radar for a few years, but I continue to hear readers recommend them, so I thought I'd check them out again. It's heartening to see that some of their classics are still there, including the Felize driving loafers.

The pictured pumps are new to me, and I'm intrigued. I like the low height, the walkable heels… but I'm not sure how I feel about the curve and unusual shape to the heel. They're down to lucky sizes in many of the colors, so clearly the shoe is popular.

Readers, what are your thoughts: Are the heels a nice way to elevate a basic outfit, or only for a specific person with a already clearly defined style?

The pictured shoes are $328 at M.Gemi; these are the 50mm style but they also have a 90mm style.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Hunting for more basic heels? These are some of our long-standing favorites — but check out our entire Guide to Comfortable Heels!

collage of comfortable heels for work

Pictured above, some of our favorite black heels for business attire: one / two / three / four / five

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. iamthewalrus

    529 plan question – what happens to the funds if kid ends up not pursuing higher education or decides to go to school outside the U.S.? Anyone know where I can track down that information? TIA

    • Anon

      You either change the beneficiary (free) to someone who can use it for education, or you withdraw the money and pay income tax and some pretty hefty penalties.

    • Cornellian

      They can also be used for a lot of trade schools, or saved for the next generation. It’s a bit dense but I’d check the IRS website (search for Topic 313) and I find saving for college (all one word) a good higher-level website.

    • Non

      You can use a 529 at some schools abroad, but not all. The Dept of Ed has a list, I (vaguely) recall, and it has something to do w a tax ID number for the schools.

    • Anon

      There aren’t great options. This is one of the reasons we only use a 529 up to the limit of the tax benefits ($5k/year). We expect to be able to fund private college but will do it mostly out of other savings and current income since the amount we put in 529 will not cover most of it.

    • CountC

      +1,000 These are heinous. I know I am not the most fashionable person ever, and I don’t care if these ARE fashionable, they are fugs.

    • anon

      Picture me making the Home Alone hands-on-cheeks face in response to these shoes. What even are these?!

    • Anon

      I have a soft spot for ugly shoes (it’s the Daria Doc Marten early 90s teen in me) but trying to get these heels recapped looks like a huge hassle.

      • Anon

        The cobbler will always cut the heel to match the shoe – that’s not the problem here.

    • waffles

      There is absolutely nothing good about these shoes, from the shape of the toe to the weird heel. And everything in the middle.

    • Anon

      I would wear that heel on a funkier shoe but it doesn’t go with the sedate upper

      • Anon

        Agreed. The heel could be cool on a different shoe. And the color is not helping.

  3. Anxiety Help

    My whole life I’ve probably been more anxious than a normal person and I’ve dealt with it with various coping mechanisms. It wasn’t the best solution but it mostly worked. Well I’ve had several Major Life Events in the last year and my anxiety is at a whole new level. I’m working on finding a new therapist after mine retired, but I really think some pharmaceutical help maybe needed. I have absolutely no idea where to start with this. Do I go to my primary care physician or a psychiatrist? Is there a specific medication/dose I should start with? My parent had mental health issues that were mismanaged by their doctor so I feel like I need to educate myself and can’t blindly trust someone. I’d love to hear about other people’s experiences.

    • anon

      Start with your PCP, outline the issue and your history with anxiety, and start from there. Most docs will probably start you with a low-dose SSRI. Among the women I know, Zoloft and Lexapro are two of the most commonly prescribed.

      And, you gotta go into this with an open mind. If the first med you try isn’t for you, there are other options. And you can always get a second opinion.

      • Anon

        After my experience being prescribed an SSRI for anxiety when the underlying cause of the lifelong symptoms was actually orthostatic intolerance from dysautonomia, I believe SSRIs shouldn’t be prescribed so lightly or before investigating the cause of the symptoms. They can have very harmful effects, and PCPs seem way too free with them compared to actual psychiatrists.

    • Vicky Austin

      Start with your PCP. If you tell them exactly what you’ve told us – “I’ve always had symptoms X and Y, but coping mechanisms Z and A only did the trick until life events B and C happened” – they will get you where you need to be. I’m sorry to hear about your parent; I think mental health care has come a long way even just in the last few years, so I hope you can feel good about the people you end up working with. Good luck!

    • A Nonny Mouse

      I’ll go against the current and say psychiatrist as soon as you can find one, coupled with a therapist. I tried meds a couple times through my PCP but they never worked right. I went to a psychiatrist and got a different diagnosis and started taking the proper medications and my life changed. They do a much more thorough work-up than a PCP is capable of.

    • Anon for this

      I went straight to a psychiatrist. I started on Lexapro (which I think is fairly standard) and was switched a few years later to Welbutrin. Let THEM lead YOU about medication. I’ve had issues with psychiatrists thinking people in general–not me specifically–were seeking medication for nefarious purposes if they ask for medication upfront.

    • Anonymous

      I have never had a PCP take my anxiety seriously. Take Calcium, exercise, etc… Meanwhile my husband said he had some anxiety and bam- xanax and lexapro and he is doing great. I feel like women aren’t taken as seriously as men by doctors. I am so feed up with powering through and suffering.

    • anomanomanom

      I was able to get a telehealth psychiatrist appt through my insurance and local hospital. I had prior experience with zoloft through my pcp and terrible side effects, so they gave me a formal diagnosis (major depression) put me on prozac this time and the difference is night and day. They should slowly ramp you on to whatever they try, and be vocal about what you experience. If you happen to be in MI I will happily refer you to my doctor, but I realize chances are slim.

  4. anon

    My boss is such a robot sometimes. I emailed her to remind her that I’ll be out tomorrow for my father-in-law’s memorial service. (He passed several months ago; we’re just now getting to have a funeral.) Her response? OK, thanks. It’s like this with every issue that’s remotely personal, and I’m not even one to gush about my personal life or problems. But sheesh, would it kill her to show empathy? I know she’s not a bad person, just really bad with this type of human interaction, but sometimes it stings. When someone on my team is facing An Issue, I put on my Empathetic Human hat even though it feels uncomfortable to me. Vent over.

    • Anonymous

      I totally hear you on this. Why are so many people in the workplace incapable of “I’m so sorry to hear that. Thanks for letting me know you’ll be out.” It’s not hard.

    • Anon

      But what *is* the appropriate response to that? “I’m sorry for your loss” seems off since the loss happened a while back. “I hope it goes well” – no, sounds more like a conference presentation. I have no idea what I’d say other than “Thanks for the reminder.” Maybe I’m just socially clueless, but you got me on this one.

      • Anon

        OMG you’re overthinking it. “I’m sorry for your loss” is appropriate.

        Saying something kind in this situation is always, always better than not saying anything. Even if you’re awkward and it’s uncomfortable for you, suck it up.

      • Anon

        I would say sorry for your loss. A simple condolence message is never inappropriate even if the loss was a long time ago. I think I’m pretty socially clueless, but I would not just ignore someone mentioning their FiL has passed and agree with OP it’s tone deaf.

        • Anonymous

          Agree. I think a lot of people are socially clueless. Some of them don’t even care, which is even worse. Why wouldn’t you want to make a tiny change at no cost to you that will help your coworkers feel valued and heard?

        • anon

          +1, “I’m sorry for your loss” is totally fine in this circumstance, and better than saying nothing at all. I can understand why OP felt ignored, I would be kind of disappointed too.

      • Anonymous

        How about: “I am glad your family will now have a chance to gather to acknowledge your loss.”

      • waffles

        I usually go with something like “of course, take as much time as you need”. I’m pretty socially clueless too though.

    • Anonymous

      I hear you. The straw that broke the camels back at my last job was when a relative died my boss’s response was “how will we cover without you?” What a callous thing to say to someone taking their legally entitled bereavement leave. I did not respond to his email.

    • Anonymous

      I have a coworker like this. In my first month or so working with her, I moved one of my meetings and explained I needed to meet with my dog’s oncologist and lamented that cancer treatment had stopped working and the time had come. Literally, no response other than that her calendar was up to date. You would think being a newbie she would just try to fake it. But nope. The weird thing was that during her interview process I remember her saying one of her hobbies had been dog rescue. There have now been a handful of other weird things like that–dismissive response after hearing coworker’s spouse had a stroke following COVID. I don’t know if others notice it yet or just me since she’s otherwise on her game. But I honestly dread anytime I’m stuck in a situation of having to make small talk. It’s like she lacks a soul or something and I can’t get past it now.

      • Anonymous

        I know the type of person you mean. It prevents real trust from developing because they’re just not totally there on the “normal interaction” thing. It would make it hard for me to have that person be the go-to for an exciting new project or collaboration or even to recommend them for management roles. I wouldn’t want someone who responds to “my father died” with “ok.” to be a manager, you know?

    • Anon

      Would you have the same complaint if your boss were a man? She is your boss not your buddy. And would a standard “sorry for your loss” or similar really have made a difference to you?

      • Anonymous

        Not OP, but I don’t think this is a gender thing. It takes 2 seconds to demonstrate a social norm of kindness. And, yes, people who don’t give the obligatory “sorry for your loss” do stand out. It’s just part of the cultural conventions subscribed to, whether you are male or female. Has nothing to do with being a “buddy.”

        There’s a reason why those with autism spend a lot of time learning this stuff–it truly does go a long way in smoothing interactions and respecting expected social conventions.

      • Anon

        Wow, yes of course a man should also still be gracious. God, I am glad I don’t work with a bunch of robots like you and Anon @ 2:35. Social skills can be learned and you should at least try to fake them.

      • Anon

        Right bc it’s not going to be sincere from this boss even if she said it, so why does it matter?

        • Anonymous

          Do you guys actually work for robot bosses to the point where you can’t even imagine a truly sincere “sorry to hear that?” No one is asking for a therapy session here – just common decency. I was once talking to a coworker about the pandemic and I mentioned having a high-risk condition that means the vaccine may not work for me. I got a “sucks!!” in return. It does matter.

      • Nope

        I really don’t like this standard response on here. It’s like you can’t find any faults with other women unless you first dissect whether you would have the same reaction to a man. Not everything has to be viewed through some hyper feminist lens. It’s OK to just want decent behavior from other humans. In my experience, the women who try to be too detached/unemotional and “man boss”-like, are the worst bosses. My male bosses have mostly all been good humans who would have replied with a “Sorry for your loss” or something similar. And would not have cared if that made them seem too “buddy-boss” or something.

        • Anon

          +1 million. These “suck it up buttercup” responses are unhelpful, unempathetic, and say a whole lot of unflattering things about the people posting them. I really hope those people don’t have direct reports reporting to them, or people outside of work depending on them.

      • anon

        Yes, I would have the same complaint. It’s a bit cold to not acknowledge it at all.

      • Anonymous

        My boss’s boss (a man) was so kind to me when my grandmother passed away. He came by my office to offer his condolences and told me to take an extra day of leave. He was definitely not my buddy (and had his other faults) but knew how to navigate social situations.

    • Anonymous

      Maybe she’s been burned before by saying something more personal. Maybe she was in the middle of something herself and just wanted to acknowledge the message. Seems like a little understanding could be extended her way as well.

      I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad you are able to celebrate the life of your loved one.

  5. Anonymous

    Thanks all for the tips on opening a credit card dispute over my missing package yesterday. I did so today, just in time for the company to email me saying “actually USPS says it was delivered so you’re SOL, thanks for choosing us!” The company was Columbia and I highly recommend you don’t order directly from them. The customer service was an abomination. Sounds like others also had negative experiences with Anthropologie and Sephora – I’m glad we have a forum for sharing this information so we can help each other avoid companies that don’t deserve our dollars.

    • anon

      I’m surprised you even managed to order from them. Their website never works for me.

  6. Curious

    More baby naming fun! You all helped us out with initial suggestions and we are back for more. My partner and I both like names with an “m” sound in the first syllable (Amity, Emma, Amelia, Mia), but three of these four are in the top 10 baby girl names. We have a common ish last name and would like to go a little less popular. I admit I also find myself averse to Emma and Amity as sounding a bit Regency England; I’d love to get a little more modern. Any ideas?

  8. Paint Color

    Low stakes question of the day: best very, very pale blue paint color? This would be for all common areas of the house – playroom, dining room, kitchen, living room, entryway, hallway, staircase. I’d like the walls to be borderline white but with a hint of light blue to have some contrast with the white trim, white kitchen cabinets, white built-ins, white drapes. . .floors and furniture are darker-toned. I know exactly what I’m looking for but can’t quite find the right one. Help!

    • InHouse Anon

      Two ideas, both Benjamin Moore: Baby’s Breath (873) or Fanfare (874). I have Fanfare in my large, north-facing living room (including the ceiling) and really love it. My husband says it’s white, but to me it’s very clearly light blue. Baby’s Breath is a bit lighter, so may be closer to what you’re looking for.

    • Anon

      Have you done a pinterest search for “best light blue paint colors”? I just did a got a ton of results – too many to list here. A word to the wise – consider choosing a color with a touch of gray or brown in it to avoid a chilly, icy fresh toothpaste look.

    • LoudyTourky

      We also used Fanfare. It’s in bedroom that does not get much natural light. I was looking for the very same thing – an extremely pale blue. I was contemplating Fanfare, and then it was also suggested by the BM paint store owner, so that sealed the deal. Very happy with it.

  9. Anon

    Lordy — if you lived through being an almost-grown kid, to having your parents split b/c of your dad’s affair, to having him marry the person who he was having the affair with, to having your dad let you know he reversed his vasectomy he got b/c of the affair, to finding out that you have a half-sibling on the way, pls send words of wisdom (if there are any)?

    My dad is old enough to have AARP. I am the oldest of 4 (parents’ marriage) and 4 kids who now life FT with him from my now-step-mom. I was lucky enough to get through HS and off to college before the $ got cut off from all of his first kids (thanks ROTC for getting me through). But my younger siblings have been spiraling downward and downward (and my mom has kind of gone off the rails, which I understand but I miss having a real functioning parent so bad right now). The stepsiblings are a bit of a mess (2 dads, my dad wasn’t involved in our lives and I’m sure he just watches TV and ignores them when he is home; their mom seems to communicate by yelling), which is getting messy as all kids live in multi-bunk-bed rooms in a basement while an upstairs bedroom is now being prepared for the Miracle Baby.

    I am grateful to be out of the house, but the tug of my siblings is awful, especially now. I feel bad for everyone but the grownups.

    • Anon

      So your full siblings are minors living with your dad and stepmom? How old are your full siblings? If I’m counting correctly, there are 7 children total in the house, plus one on the way? If you feel strongly enough about it, you might want to check the child welfare codes for your jurisdiction – there are limits on children per bedroom and mixed genders sleeping in the same room after a certain age. Could you, would you want your younger full siblings to live with you if they’re close to graduating? If you’re active duty, it’d be tough but doable with a supportive commander and a good family care plan.

      • Anon

        I take it the first four are adults or live with mom. The second four were kids from stepmom’s first marriage who live with dad and stepmom. And now the baby Jesus is on the way to save them all.

        Sounds like a mess OP and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I have a relative who is the stepmom in your story and she f***ed over her first set of kids in favor of the second set she got from second husband. It sucked and sucks all the way around.

      • Anon

        Do you mean families with numerous kids need a large house or their kids will be taken away? Because that’s not how things work. Anyway, I assume 8 kids would be fine in a 4 BR house no matter what.

    • Mal

      Firstly, that majorly sucks…I’m so sorry!
      So, I know that this probably feels like rote advice for everything, but I feel like this is a prime opportunity to engage a therapist as someone who has no connection to all of this – they’ll be a neutral sounding board who can give thought and advice that aren’t as biased as a friend. There’s been plenty of time where I’ve needed that.
      Personally, just letting your siblings know you’re there to talk/rant to when they need it would be fantastic.
      Wishing y’all the best of luck.

    • Anon

      Therapy for you.

      Look into options to get therapy for your siblings – school, college counseling, whatever it is. Let them know that you love them. Try to find stable adults who can be a part of their lives. Are they in sports? If not, sign them up for JV volleyball or whatever else you could conceivably do.

    • Anon for This

      Dad’s wife #3 was only 5 years older than me and my youngest (half) sibling is literally young enough to be my son (more of an age difference between him and me than between me and my mother). (BTW Dad is now on #4; I have lost track of the number of step-siblings past and present.)

      Believe me when I say I know what I am about to say is easier said than done but here goes: (1) Your parents’ divorce is not your concern (I might make an exception if there was active abuse but otherwise not your business – refuse to engage.); (2) Your Dad’s decision to have more kids is not your concern. If he wants to be parenting teenagers in his 70’s that it up to him. You can be reasonably nice to siblings and hope that you can be reasonably friendly as they get older; (3) Your step-siblings and their relationship with your father is not your concern. To quote the immortal Elsa “Let it goooooo.” Not your monkey and not your circus. I know (believe me I know) it is hard but you really have to separate your relationship with your father (and your siblings relationship with him) from his relationship with your mother or his new wife and from his decision to have more children.

      Your concern is (1) yourself (THERAPY) and (2) helping your younger siblings to the extent that you can and they will let you. This might include an honest conversation with your mother telling her to get her head out of her a** and be a grownup and stop wallowing (oddly this is a conversation I had with #3 when Dad left her for #4) so that she can be a better mother. It might include having the same conversation with your father if it might possibly do any good. Otherwise, remind them that this too shall pass and there is no way out but through.

      Good luck!

    • Anonymous

      I’ve been partially there! My (now former) step-mother was only ten years older than me (and I was a young teenager…) when my parents divorced. It was terrible and my mother did not deal with it well. Which I can understand but at the same time she needed to be the grown-up and she definitely wasn’t. It was difficult but I had to separate my relationship with my dad from his relationship with my mother and his relationship with anyone else.

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