Coffee Break: Mineral Tinted Face Sunscreen

76 Comments

1. When do you think we will realistically be able to travel internationally safely again? Two years? Longer?

   1. 2022. As much as there’s talk of oh there will be a vaccine by YE 2020 or Jan 2021, I don’t see how it doesn’t get delayed one way or another even if things work out perfectly in the first shot of finding the drug — like I see delays for supply chain, distribution etc. Thus I think the average person who isn’t a front lines worker will be lucky if they can get one by summer/fall 2021. Plus I imagine I’d want to wait to get on international flights until there is decent vaccination wherever I am going — so yeah 2022.

   2. I’m hoping for 2022 but who knows. I have an outdoor, domestic (drive-to), bucket-list trip booked for summer 2021 and I’m fully prepared to have to bump that to a future year as well.

   3. I feel like it will be more dangerous to travel domestically (southern USA) vs. internationally, but that other countries might not want us as tourists/we wouldn’t want to unwittingly be vectors. Also possibility of unexpected border closures.

      1. I am sure you can find somewhere else to visit domestically that is in a part of the country that you don’t find distasteful. Perhaps, CA, UT, AZ, TX, WA, ND, SD, WY? Oh, wait, those all have hot zones, too.

         1. She said nothing about domestic travel being distasteful.

            1. You pretend to be pedantic but I see the deliberately obtuse.

   4. Are you in the US? I really don’t know, I’m ashamed at our nonexistent national approach that now the EU won’t let US citizens in and I really hope that changes.

      1. Hope that changes?! Americans are a public health danger to other countries they should absolutely be confined within their own country until this is handled.

         1. I took Airplane’s comment to mean that she hopes that our national approach changes, not that the EU changes to allow Americans in despite our high rates.

         2. Obviously she means she hopes America’s response changes

   5. I’m optimistically going with mid-2021 for non-high-risk people. I’m hoping by then they will at least have good treatment options, even without a vaccine. I am so itching to travel!

      1. Non-high-risk people are still spreading the disease for everyone else. I don’t think Europe is going to be like “hey Americans, come on over if you’re not high-risk!” Honestly, we deserve to be isolated for the absolute sh*t job we are doing at controlling this pandemic.

         1. I meant this in the sense that I would be comfortable travelling if I am not high risk. But I would not be comfortable travelling without a vaccine if I were not high risk. Also, yeah, I get it, things are bad right now, but this is literally a year away, and again, will be very different if there is at least some type of treatment.

         2. Yeah but there’s trade relations, tourism $$ etc to consider, so I think once there is a vaccine (and frankly even before), the EU will lift its travel bans on the US. I’m not saying EU citizens will be happy about it, but it will happen. Certainly if there’s a Biden presidency, travel bans are lifted when he takes office even if there isn’t a vaccine yet because it’ll raise the EU’s confidence that this is being handled.

   6. I’m not getting on any flights for a long time. I keep hearing so many stories about irresponsible idiots and I don’t want to be anywhere near them. The latest is my friend’s girlfriend who flew to Miami for a fun July 4, stayed with someone whose household members were all awaiting covid tests, has now learned they’ve tested positive, and is panicking and planning to fly home tomorrow before public health tells her not to. America!

      1. Uh?? So many questions. Why go anywhere for fun right now let alone Miami (a remote lake cabin ok maybe if that’s your idea of fun). Did they announce when she walked in that they were tested? Why didn’t she then turn around and go get a hotel room instead of bunking with them?? And I’ll say nothing about her now getting on a flight and going back to her own hometown after exposure but let me just say it’d be a friendship ender for me — or at least I’d look at that friend very very differently.

         1. Because she’s an idiot. My friend (her boyfriend) tried to talk her out of this stupid, non-essential trip many times. The rest of us in the friend group are hoping he’ll DTMFA.

      2. I would straight up call her airline and rat her out so they deny boarding. That’s insanity.

         1. Totally. This should be criminal.

         2. +1. Save some lives.

         3. Like literally what? This is not an actual thing you can do Karen.

            1. Why don’t you try it and see, Ellen?

         4. Seriously please do this. She has literally been staying in a home with people who are sick, the likelihood she isn’t sick is pretty low. Think about how you would feel if she was sitting next to your mom on that airplane and make the call!

      3. Um, has she seen Outbreak or Contagion?

   7. I know you all are probably right, but as someone whose entire support network lives abroad and who was about to embark on a long-distance cross-border relationship (so far SO is still here since he does not have clearance to travel to his new program, but that could change any day), this makes me want to scream.

      1. Ugh, I’m sorry. That is awful.

      2. Ugh, how incredibly stressful. One of the many sh*tty things about this virus is how it has stripped us of the things we use to help with stress, while putting us in incredibly stressful situations.

      3. People are allowed to talk about it.

         1. She didn’t say they weren’t. So no need to be nasty.

         2. I know! I didn’t mean it as an attack on people talking about it, just general frustration at the state of the world.

      4. I’m so sorry, Equestrian Attorney. It’s an entirely different frustration to be distanced from family than just wanting to travel for fun. My husband was essentially raised by his grandparents in Europe for the first decade of his life, and right now his grandfather isn’t doing so well. We’re hoping he holds on until it’s safe, but it’s really hard.

         1. Thanks. I get how your husband feels – I have three living grandparents, all in a different country than mine, and I’m so scared of having something happen to them. I know people are restricted within various countries too, so I’m really not alone in feeling like this, but it’s hard, especially now that I feel like there is no end in sight.

   8. Ugh. You’re all probably right… so depressing. I knew I loved travel, but I never realized how much I loved planning trips and looking forward to them almost as much as the trips themselves. I am so sad about this.

      I like my city, but part of what I liked was its centrally located airport and access to easy weekend getaways and international trips! The prospect of being here without any of the benefits of city living and all the negatives is not appealing at all.

      1. + 1. This is exactly how I’m feeling right now.

   9. When the hurly-burly’s done, when the battle’s lost and won

2. PSA if you are looking for a linen quilt that won’t break the bank – Target’s Casaluna linen line seems like great quality for the money. I bought the heavyweight linen blend quilt and liked it so much I bought a second one. It manages to be both weighty and cool at the same time. I come across it because the pottery barn diamond linen quilt that was recommended here (I think by Senior Attorney) isn’t shipping until September in the colors I wanted.

3. Right now we are on a list of countries handling this poorly and we cannot travel without being quarantined. I don’t think we are going to leave that list any time soon.

   1. I am trying to rearrange my life to allow for the possibility of travel by factoring in the quarantine on either end. If I can work remotely, 2 weeks in a villa on the Adriatic stuck inside would not be the most awfullest thing. And who cares about kids? We can pretend that remote school works from other parts of the world or just accept that some reading + travel + art + math is at least as good as what passes as school these days. This begins the great rethinking. I am so done with things sucking. I am probably radically leaning out at my job so bad that absent a rethink of this magnitude, it is gone anyway. I can’t continue like this.

      1. I was thinking the same thing, but my office sent out a reminder that for legal reasons, we cannot work remotely from abroad.

         1. Plus the worry that quickly-changing travel restrictions could really screw up an international trip, even if you quarantine.

   2. Agreed. I’m in a city and a state that has taken adequate measures (which I still think were too lax but are in line with literally ever other blue state)

      I’m furious with the lack of a cohesive national response. I truly think if there had been one, we’d be actually reopening right now.

      I work in city government, I used to work as a federal contractor. I know the intricacies of government and I know what is and isn’t realistic. It could have been done better.

      1. I’m furious with the garbage testing and contact tracing. Even when you can get tested, the wait times for results are insane. It’s set us up to fail.

         1. I call it Schrondinger’s COVID. I’m being tested on Wednesday (earliest appointment I could get!) and have to wait 5-7 days for results… which is 5-7 days during which you could acquire COVID! So, even if you test negative you could still have it.

            Therefore – we never know if we have COVID or not, much like we never know if the cat is alive or not.

            1. For me, the test results were still worth it, though I do agree with your premise. I have allergies and developed a sore throat. I was supposed to visit my 83 year old father for father’s day and hadn’t seen him since Christmas. When I told him about my sore throat he said “it’s just your allergies, you should still come.” But I was so nervous about going just in case I did have it. For me, the negative test made me feel confident the sore throat was just my allergies and I went to see my dad.

            2. You’re supposed to stay home and isolate when waiting for results, even when it’s a weeklong wait. Remember the guy who found out he tested positive when midair on JetBlue? Not good.

               But yeah, the negative test is only a moment in time.

            3. ideally, you’d get the test, and then sit inside and wait for the results. not run around going to multiple places. ugh.

            4. I’m well aware that you’re to quarantine until you get your negative results and am doing so. A) not everyone is and b) it’s a small chance but you could pick it up while going to / from the testing location

         2. A friend of mine finally got tested back in March, after being sick for a few weeks. We were all waiting anxiously because we had been at a party with him on March 12th before a friend’s wedding on the 14th, right before we went into lockdown. I don’t think he ever got his results. His SO got a call with results at one point, but it turned out that they were not his results, due to a mix-up. Such a complete and utter failure. She had to load him (very sick) into the car early in the morning and wait in a long line of cars for this testing, only to find out nothing. Of course, testing has vastly improved since then, but sheesh.

4. Thank you to whoever recommended Never Have I Ever on Netflix. It was a great binge watch for my somewhat lonely and sad holiday weekend.

   1. That was me! Glad you liked it.

5. I need coping strategies and/or advice on how to get my colleagues to stop talking down to me. While I am well respected within my team, I am essentially a service arm to several internal business groups and those individuals are constantly serving up microaggressions. I don’t know if they are escalating or I am just becoming more sensitive as I age.

   For context, I am 40, long company tenure, and have been told that I “ooze competence.” Oddly I have no issues with more senior leadership treating me with respect. It is their foot soldiers that do things like:

   – treat me like their secretary – e.g. they will cc me on an email to a third party, saying that I will send out X by such date and schedule a call to discuss, without checking in with me on timing. But they will *ask* the men “when can you do this?”
   – push out calls to the following week if a man is on vacation. But if *I* am on vacation, I am expected to dial in and/or be subjected to grumbling/have it called out in a large group setting that I was not available so this project is being delayed.
   – exclude me from the earlier-stage calls with third parties about potential projects. When I ask to be invited, they tell me that they are “only” discussing strategic matters and that they will loop me in when it makes sense – e.g. after they have made all the decisions.
   – interrupt me when I am speaking, stop speaking in frustration when I keep talking (not letting them interrupt me), and then when I have finished, they say “as I was TRYING to say.” Excuse me, you interrupted me, not the other way around.
   – ask me if I have checked in with my team members re: my recommendations. Um, no, and I don’t think you’ve ever asked my male counterparts to do this. I am the one that supports this geographic area and my opinion is the most informed one.

   I am just so done with all this but it feels like any reaction from me will be bigger than their microaggression(s) and then I look like the problem. Do I just need thicker skin? It makes me angry that I have worked so hard to basically be viewed/treated as a low grade assistant by men who frankly rank lower than me, have way less experience, less tenure, etc.

   1. You need to dress like a female detective on CSI Miami, a severe/conservative outfit of a pant suit but with full hair and makeup. Hair severely pulled back with a side bang on speaking days. Pumps and hose under the suit. Glossy pink lips. Blond hair is best. You got this, girl!

      1. Let me guess. Also a button front shirt?

         1. Only if it is perfectly tailored to hug her bosom and be completely fitted under the suit with nary a wrinkle. Tasteful cleavage of course.

      2. VERY WELL STATED. THIS 100%. Be very clear about your domain and boundaries – colleagues need to respect your role.

   2. What do they say when you push back on them or point out that your role warrants involvement?

   3. That sounds miserable. If it’s any consolation, they are doing this precisely because you are so competent at your job.

      This is something that should be raised with your manager. Other functions do not get to decide when to loop in your department, set deadlines for you, determine how you do your job, or dictate your workload during vacation.

      Remember that you often have to repeat things several times in order for it to sink in. If you say things a bit differently, because saying it the first time didn’t “work,” people think that they are getting somewhere – by ignoring you, they got you to change your position. This is a poor way to treat other people, but it happens. So for any of these situations, stay on message. If you need to reference earlier conversations, “As I have mentioned previously” goes at the beginning of a sentence. It is exhausting but will eventually work.

      For the business of sending out emails saying you will perform an action by a certain time: the first time, reply to the person with something like, “Steve, while I understand you want to provide good customer service, you are not managing my time or my workload, and it’s not appropriate for you to issue deadlines to me with external customers.” Next time, same language, just with “Per previous email.” Third time, reply-all and tell the person that the task is a priority, but you will not be able to produce work product until X date.

      If you feel comfortable and would be supported by those above you, you can gently pull rank. “Steven, that decision rests with me, not with you.”

      If you are in-house legal, much of the problem is that other departments often see legal/compliance as an impediment, not a co-equal function. At this point, I’m shameless about escalating when someone tries to go over my head or railroad me into doing something that puts the company at risk; disrespecting my function can cost the company millions.

   4. Get a new job at a place that doesn’t treat you like crap.

6. For the poster late this morning seeking recommendations for a travel agent for the Champagne region: I went to Champagne last summer (stayed in Reims), and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It was such a dream.
   I didn’t use an agent for that trip, largely because I speak pretty good French (and my reading comprehension, more important for planning purposes, is better than my spoken French). Anyway, I felt confident about my ability to plan it myself, and it worked.
   For other trips where the same was not true, I have used Devan Mercer at Epperly Travel (based in Atlanta, but works with people all over), and I would recommend her. She’s not Champagne-specific, but I don’t know that you really need that. It’s a pretty accessible place if you’re there the right time of year.
   And go eat at Racine! It’s a Japanese/French restaurant, Michelin 2-star, and so worth it. I have never before experienced the kind of delight about food that I experienced during that meal.

7. Suggestions for what to do for an employee whose parent is in the hospital on a ventilator due to COVID? I’ve already offered time off and a flexible schedule.

   1. I am a frequent sender of a Panera gift card, sent via email.

      I just write ‘Thinking of you. I’ve got dinner covered.’

8. Advice for interpersonal situations that continue to recur? There are a subset of people who treat me badly, no matter how reasonable, kind, and thick-skinned I am, the behaviour gets so bad that I eventually cannot take it anymore. Intermediate interventions – the Miss Manners tight smile and “that’s nice,” for example – almost seem to egg them on.

   When I finally hit the end of my rope, they immediately play victim and pretend that my reaction is the problem. This happens regardless of what my reaction is – anything from exploding at those who really push my buttons to a brief, firm, and unemotional statement of why the behaviour is wrong (e.g., “My body is not here for your entertainment. It is rude beyond belief to spend an entire day staring at my midsection, gossiping, and giggling about whether I ate too much pizza or am pregnant.”) Doesn’t matter – I’m Satan incarnate for standing up for myself.

   Is this just how some people operate? Or is there a better way of handling this? I’m starting to suspect that my patience is mistaken for approval, and I somehow give people the idea that it’s all fun and games to treat me like this. It’s weird to watch, because it’s like they just push my buttons over and over and over until they finally get a reaction, and then that’s their entertainment.

   1. Who are these people? Do you have to keep being around them?

      1. Yeah that’s my question. How can you arrange your life to not be around these people ever again? They sound awful.

      2. Family, two specific members of my husband’s family, and once, the manager from hell. When I was involved in politics, people I volunteered with.

         1. Oh, the ex-girlfriend of a guy I was dating. She literally introduced herself to me and started insulting my education. Some people in my family never went to college or failed out, so I don’t play that game. She took my lack of desire to ream her out as being subordinate to her (despite ‘winning’ her stupid game of comparing – she flunked out of school twice and I have a rock star education), so would continue to insult me every time she saw me. And I continued to paste a frozen smile on my face because I do not want words to pass my lips that I would be ashamed to be heard by people I care about.

            1. Yeah you’re weirdly dramatic about this. Get up and leave.

         2. Wow, that’s an awful lot of people to have such an adversarial relationship with. Are you sure it’s not a you problem? If you encounter a-holes this frequently, chances are you’re the a-hole.

            1. Yeah, there are definitely assholes in this world, but not that many.

   2. Ghost them all immediately.

   3. Why are you around these people?

   4. Yes, this is just how some people operate. I don’t think there’s anything you can do. The only way not to be the object of this behavior is to join in on targeting someone else.

      1. Yeah. I really wish there were magic words, OP, but I don’t think there are.

   5. So I imagine these are the “I’m just kidding! Lighten up!” people. I find these are the people who can least take a joke at themselves. Like I had a male relative who thought he was hilarious joking about me gaining weight and I must be “eating for two,” so I looked at his gut and asked if he was eating for three. Big laugh from all around us but definitely not from him!

      F%** miss manners. Give it back to them.

      1. Ironically, that’s exactly what I was looking for. The problem isn’t that I’m a bad person (contra above); it’s that people just ramp up until it’s an awkward and awful situation for everyone. It’s also a lot of projection and them using me to feel better about themselves.

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