Coffee Break: With a Twist Hoops

102 Comments

1. Anyone have fave podcasts about exercise and nutrition? I like to keep those good habits top of mind and podcasts can help. Thanks!

   1. Stronger by Science and the Science of Ultra.

   2. The only “nutrition” podcast I listen to is Maintenance Phase. Worth a listen if there’s a lot of diet talk in your circles or you like history lessons that debunk health fads, but not exactly inspirational content to exercise or eat well.

      1. That’s such a consistently annoyingly smug podcast.

         1. 100000% agree with smug. I listened to the episode on WW and it’s just like jesus, not every single era in history has your exact mindset.

         2. It’s also wrong a lot. They have an axe to grind and aren’t honest about the research they discuss.

            1. Yes – it is entertainment. It is not scientifically sound.

         3. Agree.

      2. I grew up hearing a lot of unhealthy stuff about exercise and nutrition and I’ve found Maintenance Phase really helpful, particularly the earlier episodes.

      3. Ugh. I can’t stand Maintenance Phase!

   3. Stacy Sims’ podcast.

   4. Food, We Need to Talk — currently on hiatus but they have a huge back catalogue

      1. This is similar to Maintenance Phase but with nice people as hosts, IMO.

   5. This has been my main passion for the past year. Here are my favorites. Caveat I’ve found most exercise/health influencers are MAHA to some degree so look at the episode titles to decide what you like and discard the rest.

      Better with Dr. Stephanie
      The Dr. Gabrielle Lyon Show
      The Dr. Vonda Show
      Mind Pump (super bro-ey, but some good content and they provide timestamps so you can only listen to what interests you)

      Good overall on health, less exercise and nutrition content:
      Unpaused
      You Are Not Broken

   6. The Nutrition Diva- terrible name, but seems to always provide studies and research to back up or debunk topics. Short episodes. Has been around since the early days of podcasts.

   7. Barbell Medicine

2. An update on the Airbnb debacle from last week.
   I ended up calling Airbnb, and they told me it’s very important that I didn’t cancel my reservation, but instead have the host cancel, as otherwise they would not be able to help me with rebooking and I wouldn’t have AirCover available for losses. They also said that in their view, the booking was still confirmed and not canceled, so unless the host canceled I should just plan to show up at the stated check in time (obviously would not do this with my child knowing that the place had other guests in it due to the host’s double booking.)

   I relayed this to the host who said of course let me cancel and issue a refund. Then she pretended she couldn’t figure out how to cancel, and said she would just Venmo me instead and keep the reservation looking active (this was clearly after she had seen the consequences for her of canceling). I said no, not willing to violate the Airbnb terms (I have my own superhost status to protect) and also I need their support with the canceled booking. She then sent me numerous tirades about how upsetting it was to her that I wouldn’t agree to handle this outside Airbnb because now she was going to get fined and her listing would get lower placed in searches. I remained calm and factual, just reiterated that we were prepared to honor the booking as made, but if the property was not available Airbnb told me she needed to cancel on her end. She finally canceled and I got the refund, but not until the day before we were supposed to leave, so I had no chance to make other plans. We stayed home.

   The whole thing was really stressful and unpleasant, and I was awake at night ruminating over it (I know that’s my issue – in a very stressful phase of life right now, and even minor conflict stresses me out a lot). And I think she doesn’t realize that Airbnb can review our correspondence in its entirety. I haven’t asked them to, but the fact that she mentioned Venmo likely means their AI tools flagged it (they’re always scanning for signs of hosts trying to go outside the platform).

   Sigh, back to using only hotels I guess. Although Airbnb were actually very good to deal with, in particular since I have access to the superhost support line. They were on it right away.

   1. She FAFOed. Oh well! I’m sorry it ruined your trip.

   2. Hotels overbook too. Good for you for holding firm. We’ve stayed in a lot of them over the years (30ish?) and have only had a problem like this one; Airbnb corporate was really on top of it.

      1. Hotels overbook and you get upgraded to a suite or a better property.

         1. We were happy with the outcome.

         2. Not always.

            1. Almost always. And especially so if you book with a travel agent.

         3. Yeah I’ve been doing frequent business and leisure travel for over 30 years and I’ve had an overbooked hotel exactly once. And they got us a suite in a higher end property nearby. It’s very uncommon and when it happens they make it right.

         4. Not always. I had a reservation at a Hampton Inn in rural South Georgia. I was there to take a deposition in a prison, and it was overbooked because of a nearby livestock show. The property where they sent me was emphatically WORSE. Among other things, it was a motel rather than a hotel, and opened to the parking lot. There was activity in the parking lot all night, and while I recognize it was probably unnecessary, I pushed furniture in front of my door because it helped me sleep.

            1. This same thing just happened to me over the weekend. I demanded a refund and luckily found my own other hotel at a higher cost. Hotels can suck too.

         5. Not always. This happened to me in Sacramento and the property I was transferred to was roughly equivalent and within walking distance. But it also happened to me in LA, and I was moved to another property that was not nearly as nice, to a room that was substantially worse, and (most problematically) was considerably further away from the venue where the event I was attending that evening was located (and no longer walkable). They did reimburse the room upgrade, but I was out quite a lot in Uber rides and did not have time to have dinner before the concert I was attending).

   3. I’m sorry. Some people are just rotten and somehow try really hard to make others the bad guys.

   4. I get that this is really frustrtating, but it doesn’t seem worth staying home over.

      1. I assumed they ended up staying home because there simply wasn’t anywhere else to stay.

   5. Air B&B is so iffy. Why stay in some strangers house. Ugh.

3. I’ve posted a few times about my mom in her 70s – she’s has not been herself lately (confused, apathetic, depressed, low language) and we’ve been trying to get her to go to the dr for bloodwork. last week she hurt her ankle somehow and it has only gotten worse, now with warmth added to the picture. she still refuses to go. maybe later. maybe after her nap. maybe tomorrow. maybe in december.

   any advice? we’re at the “how do we hogtie her” stage and looking into how to get her declared incompetent.

   1. Google “adult protective searches” in your area. A friend’s mom was a social worker employed as such by local government in the US often called by an elder’s adult children.

      1. SERVICES not searches

   2. I have lots of questions about what she’s actually doing, other than merely deflecting with comments:

      What happens when you take action rather than try to talk her into it — like, “we’re going, here’s your coat, get into it, we have to leave now . . .”? Will she get up and go somewhere else with you, but just not to the doctor? Or does she refuse to leave the house for anything?

      If you simply drove to urgent care or the doctor’s office on the way to getting coffee (or wherever), would she refuse to get out of the car?

      Is there any possibility of getting someone to come you?

      Would she listen to a friend, a minister, a call from a nurse, or
      someone else who isn’t a family member?

      1. If I recall, they made it to the doctor’s parking lot, and the doctor even came out to the car to talk to her, but she wouldn’t leave the car. So yes she’s refusing to get out of the car.

      2. last week dad drove her to doctor and she refused to get out of car. dr. came down to car to talk to her but told my father there’s nothing he can do to get her to come up and talk to him or anything.

         she says stuff like she’s not in the mood. she wants to take her nap first. maybe later.

         we’ve thought about having someone come to her but they can’t make her cooperate.

      3. i’ve thought about calling the local priest but she hasn’t been since the pandemic and doesn’t know the new father

   3. The words you are looking for are “she does not have capacity”. At this time, (it sounds like) she doesn’t have capacity to make her own medical decisions. That doesn’t mean she is permanently incompetent (a legal definition) but rather capacity is the acute ability to “ 1) understand the situation, 2) appreciate the consequences, 3) reason about options, and 4) communicate a choice.” This is something all physicians can evaluate.

      I would call 911, tell them she has an injury/infection and is too confused for you to transport her to the ED. You would like an ambulance to come get her. Tell EMS she is confused/not herself and have them do a capacity assessment. It will help to have a couple family members there who are all on the same page. For example, if you, and her husband are both there and in agreement that she is confused, that is more compelling for EMS. She will likely fail the capacity assessment, and they can then take her against her wishes to the ED to be evaluated. Go with her and explain to the doctors there that she is not safe at home, not herself, you are worried about stroke/infection/dementia and want her emergently assessed. You are worried this is becoming life threatening.

      Advocate for hospital admission, perhaps to a medical unit, perhaps to a locked inpatient psychiatric unit depending on their assessment.

      Write down specific things that are happening before you to the ED so you have those ready. Is she confused about her location? Unable to operate household appliances? Getting lost? Not recognizing familiar people? Get specific about what you are seeing, especially things that are dangerous like leaving the oven on, wandering away from home, not eating, not taking care of herself, etc.

      Good luck! This sounds really really difficult.

      1. when she saw dr last week (when he came to car) he asked her questions like what is her name, who is the president… she knows that stuff. but she is not herself. i don’t think she would fail a capacity test if asked short questions like that.

         (i mean, aliens could land on the earth and in 15 minutes they’d know who was president.)

         1. I wonder if EMTs would be more experienced with this than her primary care doctor though? Are they really doing the same assessment?

            1. In my jurisdiction, the standard for anyone to force medical care is really, really high. People can make bad decisions and not be themself and no one can force them to receive care. I don’t think EMTs would be of help with this situation where I live until it gets worse.

            2. Paramedics can do excellent assessments. They can’t let you sign a refusal if you aren’t competent to sign it.

         2. Those questions are not a capacity assessment. I’m sorry your primary doctor didn’t do a capacity assessment, however, a PCP doesn’t have much to offer in this situation. She likely needs to be in the hospital. Again, I would call EMS. They receive these calls with some regularity and are good at this stuff. Many many sick people are confused and fight EMS the whole way to the hospital.

            At least give EMS a try! What do you have to lose?

      2. Addended to say, I’m a hospitalist physician, I admit patients in a similar situation to the hospital all the time to get this figured out. Sometimes it’s a stroke, or depression, or brain cancer, or hypothyroidism. I can admit these folks against their will because they “lack capacity”.

         1. Yes. You can be admitted for observation as a status and they start discharge planning and doing OT and talking to social work for how to be safe at home or if they need post-hospital rehab at least initially.

         2. Addending again as the hospitalist to agree with the poster above, the bar to force treatment on someone is quite high. For example, I cannot pin down our schizophrenic patients and force them to take medications barring extreme circumstances and a court order.

            But the bar to get investigative testing on someone who is newly confused is much lower. If she cannot answer “what might be wrong with you?” With something like “depression”, “stroke”, “brain tumor” Or list the consequences that might arise from not seeking medical care (worsened infection, losing her foot, falling down, etc) then she does NOT have capacity and the ER can medicate her to force into the CT scanner, labs, and MRI. But ER doctors are good at this stuff and can often coax an unwilling patient into some tests once they are in the ER.

   4. A lot of it is understanding your parent, as there are different buttons you can push for different people. But a common tactic is “just go once so the doctor can tell us that you’re fine and we can stop bugging you about it.” You also can often get traction by enlisting someone they’re more likely to listen to than their child (religious leader, neighbor, grandchild, etc.) With the ankle issue you can also tie it to things that they really would like to do. “We can get that foot taken care of so you can go to X’s graduation/make it to bingo night more often/whatever.”
      It’s also useful to consider how this behavior fits into their general worldview. My in laws want to live as long as possible, my side of the family are farmers that start refusing medical care early and would rather die while overdoing it. Both are valid approaches to aging, and if your mom would rather die than take a ton of pills and always hae felt that way, your conversations should look a little different.

   5. I have told my mom that she has two choices – either she goes in the car to the doc/ER or I will call an ambulance to her house. She can reject the ambulance but the neighbors will still see. The fear of having to explain why an ambulance is at her house to her neighbors is enough to get her to the doctor. You can, however, use this about once a year, and let’s say, I know this is not the most therapist approved route.

   6. Can you go visit her, and take her to the doctor?

      It is a wild jump to declaring her incompetent. This can take months (years!) and legal fees and may destroy your relationship with her. I assume you just mention this out of frustration and worry, and don’t really understand what it means.

      1. i was just there today… she had promised to go today and then refused to leave the house. she’s not agitated just seems exhausted. maybe later. maybe after her nap. maybe tomorrow.

         pointed out that my grandmother had her toe amputated because she waited too long to see the dr for something simple… that seemed to help a bit. tried the “everyone’s on the same team to try to keep you in control of your own decisions and as independent for as long as possible” argument and… nothing. at various points my father, brother and i were all in tears and she had no emotion.

   7. long story short, my dad was in worse shape than your mom mentally, he was basically catatonic (at least my layperson’s understanding of what that means). He is big and there is no way my mom could have taken him to the DR if he was not cooperating. This was early in the pandemic as well. So I told her to call 911 and get an ambulance. Recovery took a long time, but I think that everyone would have been worse off had he not gone to the hospital and been admitted.

   8. It sounds like she is choosing to decline, and will have to live with discomfort until she’s in enough pain to see the doctor.

      1. Not really how it works with people who truly lack capacity. They may very much want to go/feel enough pain to go but be unable (as in physically uncapable) to execute a plan.

      2. I really believe that rationally and deliberately choosing to decline looks different from this. This sort of vague evasive avoidance can be a symptom.

         1. fwiw this avoidance has a name – anosognosia – the inability to recognize health conditions

            https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22832-anosognosia

   9. Call her PCP, explain your concerns, and ask if they will do a house call. Your PCP can’t report results back to you without the necessary paperwork in place, but they can take your call explaining the problems. My aunt’s doctor did a house call for her when we were in this situation (we live long-distance but even in person, couldn’t get her to go) and it was critical (CRITICAL) to getting the ball rolling. She has since been diagnosed with dementia and is very, very happy in her assisted living community. We’ve sent him Christmas cards ever since.

      1. Also, there are private companies and doctors who will do house calls if her PCP won’t .

   10. Any chance her PCP will get you a test kit to check for a UTI? They can cause some wild symptoms if left untreated, not out of the realm of possibility that she has one.

4. Can we do an alternative menstrual products round up? What do you use what what are the pro/cons?

   I use a Diva Cup + period underwear.
   Pros of the cup are that it’s long lasting (medical grade silicone basically doesn’t break down for 10 years), so super economical, and reliable. Cons are that sometimes its hard to place, 1 time out of 10 I get frustrated/messy and give up and use a tampon.

   Pros of the undies are that they are simple to use, more discreet (and honestly cute!) than I thought they would be. Cons are that they are expensive and don’t last as long as they should– the seams come undone, and I feel like they start to retain an odor after a while so I replace them with some frequency (like every year!).

   Im interested in trying other products– what do you use?

   1. i may just be super gross but i’ve had some period undies for 10 years. i rinse them before they go into the washer on delicates and spray vinegar directly on them. air dry only. i really like the knix ones someone recommended here. the ones i’ve had the longest are from dear kate.

   2. The idea of rising out the cup. Inserting it”properly.” Good grief. How is that not the worst of all worlds?

      1. It’s really not that much more difficult to insert than a tanpon for many of us. And you often only have to change morning and night, which isn’t the case with tampons.

      2. It has pros and cons for sure! I’ve used a Divacup since 2009 and I’m glad for all the money I’ve saved on tampons and pads and it’s allowed me to engage in certain active activities (rafting, backpacking) where frequent tampon changes are inconvenient or impossible, but the “inserting it properly” part does suck.

      3. I’ll take a messy cup rinse and a funky insertion over pads any day.

         Just frustrated that I had my period for twenty years before discovering menstrual cups.

   3. Flex Disc and pads. Period underwear grosses me out.

      1. +1

         This.

   4. I use flex disc + period panties (Knix). The disc feels like nothing, and it’s more comfortable than the diva cup. The period panties provide peace of mind. I sleep in Thinx sleep shorts.

5. i started a GLP1 last week on Tuesday (very low dose). Have felt totally fine all week until today when i fill nauseous, have a headache, have the chills, etc. this is likely unrelated, rt? seems odd like it woudl take a whole week to have side effects?

   1. It’s building up in your system, this is pretty normal.

   2. Anyone sick around you?

   3. Honestly sounds more like a virus than like GLP1 side effects but you’ll probably know soon.

   4. tomorrow before you take your next dose go to reddit and look at recommendations there – i think some people swear by drinking a fairlife shake right after the shot or things like that. i’m sorry you don’t feel well!

      1. +1 to Reddit, it’s a million times better than anywhere for advice on this topic. And second that you might have a bug.

   5. Headache/nausea could be the meds but chills sounds like a virus to me.

      1. +1

   6. Side effects from GLP1s can be really unpredictable, within a week of starting isn’t unusual at all. How was your eating and drinking yesterday and today? I’ve found I get side effects when I don’t eat enough or don’t drink enough water (also eating too much/too rich, but that’s more expected).

   7. Yeah, losing weight always does a number on the body, one way or other.

      1. I always feel amazing when I’m losing weight! Though I also never lose weight unless I feel amazing (somehow my body just holds onto the weight if I try to force it).

         1. I’m glad! But this isn’t common.

            1. I honestly thought a lot of people felt pretty good while losing weight on the right GLP1 from the extra energy of a working metabolism / maybe lower inflammation, so long as they’re not getting malnourished.

      2. I wish people talked about this more. You can override the hunger but weight loss always feels bad. Of course you’re tired and grumpy!

         1. No – weight loss does not always feel bad. I will absolutely believe it feels bad for you. I will believe it feels well for anyone who says it did for them. But it did not feel bad for me or for many other people I know.

            1. +1 I feel better on a GLP1 than I have in years.

            2. I know weight loss I’m about to gain right back on a rebound always feels terrible to me.

            3. It’s possible to feel good from the effects of weight loss while still being honest about the process. Sometimes you get headaches, spacey, dizzy, just feel bleh. Then the body adjusts to that piece of weight loss and moves forward. It’s not effortless, even with the right meds.

            4. I’m very honestly reporting that I don’t get headaches, spacey, dizzy, or feel blah when I’m successfully losing weight.

               I often feel this way when I’m restricting calories and failing to lose weight (probably because I’m not metabolizing energy efficiently, or even because I’m going a bit hypoglycemic between meals?).

               Successful weight loss consistently feels effortless to me.

            5. 7:30, I always felt crappy losing weight the white knuckle starving way. On a GLP1 it feels great for me. There’s a reason they’re popular.

         2. It does not always feel bad. Use “I statements” please. I feel like a gazillion bucks on my GLP1 since figuring out and anticipating side effect triggers. I’m two years in and walking on sunshine. I know that’s not everyone’s experience. Like you should recognize your experience of feeling bad is not universal.

         3. These toxic positivity people are too much. I’m also on the shot and yes, it’s much easier, but it is not effortless or walking on sunshine. The body fights weight loss and it’s not always a “feel good” situation.

            1. Toxic positivity isn’t the same as honestly stating that one person’s negative side effects are not a universal truth. Toxic negativity, on the other hand, is declaring that one person’s rough symptoms mean everyone who says they didn’t experience them must be lying.

   8. I started Zepbound in January at a low dose (2.5) and then titrated up to 5 after four weeks. Have been at that same level since then. It took a long time for me to start feeling side effects, but they’ve been more consistent since week 2 or so. I have not identified a real pattern or practice to the nausea – it sometimes kicks in 8 hours post-shot, and sometimes it kicks in five days after the shot.

6. Once again I did the thing I was procrastinating a week on and it took me a grand total of 3 minutes. Ugh.
   On the plus side the thing I was procrastinating on was making an appointment with an ADHD coach so…progress?

   1. That is only a win.

7. I want to start writing letters to friends in different cities as a way to stay off my phone and do something productive. Problem is that I have terrible handwriting and hate writing in general (my hand gets tired!). I love typing though. But, sending a letter that I typed in Word and printed with a laserjet printer seems so lame. Soooo, I was thinking maybe I can use a typewriter because at least it will look a little more interesting/nicer/less like a paper on my desk at work. However, I don’t want a vintage typewriter because they are clunky and hard to use. What am I looking for? Are Word processors still a thing? Can you get a nice new typewriter that is easy to use? TIA!

   1. what about playing with the fonts on your computer to find one you like? you do you and all i’m for hobbies but using a typewriter is actually not easy, you need to move the margins to go the next line, etc. also what about improving your handwriting? i actually briefly went through a stage when i was working on mine during covid :)

   2. I love my typewriter that is from probably 1985? I realize that that is, horrifyingly, 40 years ago, but I don’t think of it as particularly clunky or hard to use.

   3. I buy cute cards, and write a few words in them. And when I have more to say, I type on my computer and print it out (yes I still have a printer) and enclose it in the card. It is always well received.

      It sees wild to buy a typewriter and somehow convince yourself that this will be better received than a printed one.

   4. Don’t let an idea of perfect be the enemy of good. Your friends will love receiving your letters, typed or hand written. If you want to make a typed letter more fun, buy some bright colored paper.

   5. I’d love a typed and printed letter. You could lean into the 1994-ness of printing and sending a letter by choosing an old Macintosh font

   6. That’s a great idea, they’ll be thrilled!

      If you want to make your printed sheets more special, get some slightly textured paper. To add a home made touch to a printed letter, pictures printed on actual photo paper can be a great addition. If you e.g. have vanilla colored paper, print with a dark neutral like charcoal that is almost black but not quite, for a more intentional look.

      My hand writing has become lazy, but I’m practising by keeping a hand-written book of recipes, and a new every once in a while.

   7. This sounds wonderful! It would not bother me one bit if a friend sent me a typewritten note–I would be too busy being touched by the fact that they took the time to send it.

      I would use one of the Word fonts that mimics cursive handwriting and print it on non-white card stock.

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