Thursday’s Workwear Report: Mixed-Media Mock-Neck Blouse
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This mock-neck blouse from Ann Taylor looks like the sort of thing that would get a lot of mileage all year round. The length allows it to be tucked nicely into a skirt or pair of trousers or left untucked with a pair of skinny pants and a long cardigan, and the bright, cheery color would go nicely with a wide range of neutrals. (Side note: Ann Taylor refers to this color as “razzle dazzle,” which I love.)
The blouse is $69.50 at Ann Taylor and comes in sizes XS–XXL.
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Sales of note for 1/22/25:
- Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
- AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
- Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
- Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
- DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
- Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off
Elizabeth, you and I must be related, at least fashion-wise! I also love this Anne Taylor blouse and the so called razzel dazzel color is one that I think the Manageing partner will want me to wear in front of the Judge, because it is close to the Red that the Judge really likes me to wear. This color is much more casueal then the red suit with white silk blouse he always raves about to the Manageing partner, but now that we are not as formal, I think I can also wear this to the luncheon we are holding for the Judge at the Prime Stakehouse next week. I hope we get a few cleints to show up and toast the Judge, and I got a great Fixed price of $120/person including drinks!
Caroline Winkler — many thanks for the suggestion for her design videos. She is so completely reasonable. I think I can start moving away from the very blank slate I live in.
Yay, I had posted about her on another thread. She’s one of my favorite YouTuber’s. I found her through her DC apartment hunting vlog, which is another gem.
Thank you for posting about her! I spent the following weekend going through most of her channel, and loved her sense of humor and design aesthetic.
+1, her tips already helped my cluttered kitchen.
I just lost a great employee who took a new job because the other company’s insurance offered IVF coverage and ours does not. Apparently ours covers infertility treatments up to IVF but nothing IVF related.
I know many of the women on here have undergone IVF – is it pretty commonly excluded from insurance coverage? Our plan is otherwise very broad and comprehensive, I was pretty surprised to learn that IVF wasn’t covered.
Having IVF covered is the exception, not the norm, IME.
Ditto for any non-giant global business. Will those newbies actually last long enough to use it? But it sounds good when recruiting.
this
Yup, unless you work in one of the states where coverage is mandated. Very grateful to live in Illinois (although there are exceptions to the mandate).
This doesn’t guarantee coverage as the employer can get around the mandate by having insurance underwritten in another state. Awful. I’ve paid 60k out of pocket for infertility coverage despite being employed in a state with a mandate.
How would you ever know to ask or diligence this in the interview process?
Yup.
It is terribly expensive, so I am not surprised that it is excluded. OTOH, many other horrifically expansive things get covered. On the third hand, insurance is too expensive — it seems that it is now less risk-sharing than just a funding mechanism.
It also varies by state — IIRC in DC it is all covered? But if a place is just attracting people with a need, will it keep them after the need passes? And if you are hiring for a job need, that need may continue after making what may be a very expensive hire? IDK what the right answer is, but places with egg freezing benefits give me the creeps and make me feel worse not better about how life will play out (waste your most fertile years with us and then cozy up with a frozen tube from the sp*rm bank is not a Halmark movie I want to be in).
Lots of people take jobs for the benefits this isn’t new. And then they like where they work so they stay. Don’t make it weird.
they give you the creeps? that is the strangest reaction to generous benefits I’ve ever heard.
I think because egg freezing can be related to encouraging women to lean into their careers when they’re young and delay family until they’re older. Many of the companies that cover egg freezing seem to have kind of a toxic work life culture. I wouldn’t say it gives me the creeps but I get what she’s saying. It’s different than IVF and it seems more self-interested for an employer to cover it.
This is how I feel: abandon your youth to your job. You may never find a mate, but we can make you a baby. Maybe.
This is how I felt until I needed those services in a hurry to freeze my eggs before chemo. I am so grateful that finances didn’t have to affect our decisions.
IIRC, chemo makes it different. I did a deep dig when I found a lump and it’s considered “fertility preserving” and medically needed. Or at least it would have been for me.
Yes, chemo is a medically necessary reason for egg freezing and should always be covered. It’s when you want to do it just because you’re getting older and aren’t ready for kids that it’s not covered.
Oh, I didn’t know that. Thank you.
You are correct that medical insurance isn’t risk sharing at this point. That’s why it’s often referred to as “health care” rather than “health insurance”. If you view health care as a human right, not just something that you can only get if you can afford it, that’s appropriate. If you get in a lot of car accidents, you might lose your auto coverage. Do you want to be dropped next year because you have cancer? If it was truly risk sharing no one with preexisting conditions would be covered anywhere.
I think it’s kind of mixed. I’ve seen hearing aides excluded on the reasoning that nearly everyone will need them, so they’re not really what insurance is for.
There are also people working hard to try to exclude people with preexisting conditions again in USA.
I’m worried we’ll suddenly hear a lot more about COVID sequelae if this goes through!
This is not the company’s doing. This is a societal issue. People need to work in their 20’s whether it’s further education or being devoted to a career in order to be successful and live comfortably. People seek out fertility treatment whether that be egg freezing or IVF. The company is generously offering a benefit that it’s employees use!! Also, people can have fertility issues at any age.
IVF coverage is uncommon but for highly competitive jobs growing. My employer is adding it next year because we lose people to tech companies that offer it.
What is weird is that we have lots of tiers of maternity leave (staff vs directors vs associates vs partners). Should some women get 6 or 12 or 20 weeks? IMO only staff stay working; people with better leave inevitably quit. Makes no sense.
Whoa, I’ve never heard of tiered parental leave before. That gets my dander up for some reason.
Same. IMO leave is never the issue as long as it’s >= 12 weeks (because daycares won’t take babies sooner; 12 weeks may be needed medically if you had a c-section). It’s the return to work (and I can’t imagine return to work after 20+ weeks; I’d rather have 12 weeks + 8 more weeks of 50% expectations vs 20 weeks of 0% and the rest of my life at 100%).
It seems messed up, idk how they justify that. I wonder if it’s paid at different levels? Like 100% for lower salaried folks who take 6-8 weeks but less for people who take longer? I think my firm offers 20 weeks but I also think some of that is unpaid or at least paid at a lower rate, it’s not 100% for 20 weeks.
At big law firm and can confirm staff leave is not what attorney leave is. And the attorneys have all quit, often not coming back at all.
Yeah, my company has a strong principle that benefits for corporate should be the same in the fulfillment centers. There are two exceptions: contractors, and the work from home allowances for corporate. The latter nearly didn’t happen because of that principle.
Not in a law firm. My understanding is that attorneys are given longer leave because they will spend much less time with their kids after returning to work. Late nights, erratic hours, weekend work, and travel mean much less time at home, so they are given more leave for bonding.
So your insurance plan likely covers some of the medical services associated with infertility/IVF – like lab work, scans, and office visits – but not egg retrieval/embryo transfer, assisted hatching, embryo screening, and the meds. Most insurance that offers IVF coverage provides a capped dollar amount for those procedures. For me, insurance covered office visits/lab work/scans under the standard benefit, and then provided a $30k benefit for the retrieval/transfer/associated procedures and $10k for the meds. It is definitely the exception, not the rule.
Coverage of IVF itself is unusually good. Coverage of initial steps (diagnostics, medication, IUI) is more typically covered.
oh, but some states are more generous. Like NJ has a mandate related to IVF coverage IIRC.
But employers in NJ can have insurance underwritten in another state to get around the mandate.
it is very commonly excluded, but luckily DH’s company insurance covered it, though we got lucky that an IUI worked for us. she must have specifically sought out employers that had it included
Yeah — how do you even have that convo with HR? And ask to see the policy / exclusions? And then there are the leave policies to go through . . .
You ask to see the benefits and ask questions after you receive the offer. Not something to stress about requesting.
I’m at a government employer with otherwise outstanding insurance coverage.
They didn’t cover the meds (~$10,000), the two medical procedures (getting the eggs out, putting the embryo back in), screening of embryos, or any of the embryo storage fees. All in, I paid $25,000 out of pocket and currently pay $500 a year for embryo storage. Insurance did pick up all consultations and medical / lab visits, tests, and of course all pregnancy related costs after my single cycle was – thankfully – successful.
But don’t governments have rotten maternity leave (like it’s all other leave that you’ve managed to bank)? It’s like you squeeze the balloon here and it swells over there, but nothing really changes.
That may be changing. My gov employer offers 6 weeks paid parenting leave to all parents (including foster parents), then those who want to can use other paid leave times to extend their paid leave for up to 6 months if they choose. Most other public sector employers around the state (especially in the metro) offer between 3 and 12 weeks paid before employees dip into other accrued leave banks (sick, vacation, or PTO if they have undistinguished paid leave types).
My government employer offers 3 months paid plus 3 months unpaid (but you can use your vacation, not sick leave, towards that). It has to be taken within the first 6 months of the child’s birth or adoption. If you take the 3 months paid you are supposed to stay for a year after or they threaten to make you pay it back but I’ve heard that it’s not been enforced when people pushed back. We also get 25 vacation days a year.
Fed is 12 weeks paid parental leave. My husband was also able to take additional unpaid leave, though he could have used paid leave.
The change for fed is fairly recent – before then it was just part of your paid leave bank.
My government employer offers 12 weeks of paid leave, separate from any vacation or sick leave, for both parents. I think employees can work out arrangements to take off more time if they use accrued leave or take it unpaid.
Can be required for employers of a certain size by state. I believe my state requires coverage of some number of IUIs and up to 6 rounds of IVF, but some of the fertility medications themselves are not always covered (could be off on the details, so take with a grain of salt). My company covers all fertility visits, drugs and procedures with no lifetime maximum, which sets us significantly apart from other companies even within our state and definitely helps us attract and retain employees.
Another factor, coverage limits. Mine “covers” but with a laughably low lifetime limit for such care. So, you end up paying out of pocket for all of the drugs.
OP, there’s a recent article about people taking Amazon gigs solely for the fertility benefit. This is definitely an issue that drives employment patterns.
Most employers do not offer IVF coverage. Most offer coverage for tests and treatments to diagnose infertility, but do not cover the IVF procedure. While some states do require IVF to be covered, if you are in your company’s self-insured plan, rather than a fully-insured plan offered in that state by your employer, it does not have to be covered. For example, if your employer offers Anthem BCBS as a national plan to all employees, this is likely a self-insured plan, and they do not have to cover items required by each state. But then you also might have the option of a fully-insured plan in your state, like a Kaiser CA which does required IVF covered, then it will be offered as a benefit.
The point being that just because your state might require it to be covered, you might be in a plan that does not have to follow the state laws. It is important to ask your HR or benefits person about this. You can ask for the Plan Document or Summary Plan Description to see the details. You need to research this first, especially if you are thinking of leaving to go to another employer for this reason.
Fertility benefits (not just IVF but also surrogacy) were a major consideration in chosing my husband’s job at a FAANG company. My former employer covered $7k of fertility benefits, and my current employer offers nothing. Both are F100.
FAANG?
My sense is that surrogacy is unaffordable to most mortals. And if a company offers egg freezing and surrogacy, then I am feeling really creeped out. Like “expect to miss out on human relationships but we can make a family magically appear when you’ve run out of other options.” No thanks. Or at least, not for me until I’ve run out of time and options.
hi, actually sometimes people just have health issues that mean they can’t carry a baby themselves. Or they’re a gay couple. It doesn’t have to be a big nefarious plot by the employer.
This is not the intention of offering egg freezing and surrogacy. The intention is to offer family building for all employees, not just hetero couples. Also for same sex couples and single people.
Ehh I have a lot of friends in tech in the Bay Area. There’s definitely a feeling among employees at these prestige tech companies that covering egg freezing is a way of encouraging young female employees to give their fertile years to the company, rather than being distracted by dating and parenthood. IVF is different, since that’s something you do once you’re ready to have a baby immediately. Single people and non-hetero couples can build a family with IVF too. The point of egg freezing is specifically to have the option to delay parenthood, and many people see the company paying for that as coming from a place of self-interest.
It seriously does not come through like that though.
Surrogacy is inherently exploitative to women. Not a fan of it being cheered.
+1 to surrogacy exploiting women. Women have died carrying other women’s babies. Women have been told to have an abortion after thr anatomy scan.
I was asked by a family member if I would be a surrogate for a mentally ill family member, who cannot be off medication long enough to be pregnant. That isn’t my problem, to be quite honest. When I got married, the family member also treated me like a womb on legs, demanding to know when the babies were popping out. It really made me understand that those wome being offered up as surrogates aren’t seen as real people.
Would not surprise me that a tech company would offer surrogacy benefits. Exploit women, in all ways possible. Even women who don’t work there even.
This.
Jamie Chung is an actress who used a surrogate and was vocal about her fear that physically carrying her children would negatively impact her career. It’s not just the big bad evil companies. Sometimes women don’t or can’t carry a pregnancy for various reasons.
That could be any female worker ever though. And, TBH, the 9 months of gestation were not anywhere close to as career-limiting as the 14 years (so far) with the resulting child, especially during the pandemic. We ought to just get nannies if they truly want to level the playing field.
FAANG is Facebook Apple Amazon Netflix Google, the top tier tech companies in the SF Bay Area.
Is Netflix really a top tier tech company at this point?
Yes, I think Netflix is a top tier company. My husband works there and they pay top of market without any bsing around. Earlier this year, someone who is the same level as my husband got a offer from a different company that was higher than his salary and because of that my husband also got a salary bump. I think out of all of them, Amazon pays the least (my husband worked there before joining Netflix). Other benefit we like at Netflix is that they will match up to $10K of donation for each employee, we max that out everywhere.
Egg-freezing doesn’t work nearly as well as embryo freezing. I might consider freezing my eggs now but cannot imagine choosing a baby daddy from a book of candidates now that I’d be stuck with later. What if I met someone and just needed eggs but the embryo thing creeped out my husband? Women should have work lives that don’t compel them to engage in this calculus.
My GYN sent me to another suite in her building, where I was handed the profiles of all the sperm donors. I had a great time one weekend drinking wine with friends where we all picked our imaginary sperm donors. It was actually an interesting glimpse into each of our priorities for our potential offspring when love and fatherhood characteristics and finances were not involved. None of us actually had a child using a donor, though.
My understanding is that, at a reputable clinic, the difference between the success of the two procedures is now vanishingly small. It used to be that technology for freezing and thawing eggs resulted in more loss than for embryos, but the technology has improved. We elected to freeze eggs and not embryos on the basis of this information.
What?
Maybe it could be because many women are staying single longer and just want to hedge their bets. Sure, there’s some of the work life balance issue with SOME companies but not all who offer this.
My company has pretty reasonable W-L balance. They provide coverage for 2 full cycles. I’m actually jumping into the egg freezing process because I’m 41 and why not with the coverage. Also, a TON of people need IVF.
In addition, my company will cover up to 20K (I think that’s the max) on adoption/surrogacy.
For context, I’m at an F50 in the telecom/media industry
I’m a millennial (mid 30s) and I have friends looking for jobs with coverage and/or leaving jobs without coverage. It’s becoming increasingly available from employers, enough that my friends appear to have options, but it’s definitely not what I’d consider widely available.
Also to note for this group – infertility is explicitly excluded from FMLA protections. My wife is a doc for a major medical system you’ve likely heard of and they refused to allow her to take time off to access fertility care and threatened to fire her. (For those that had not gone through fertility care, appointments are often scheduled 24 to 48 hours out based off of the results of your last medical tests so it’s not something she could schedule and clear in weeks in advance, per hospital policy.)
It was insane and incredibly stressful. They only backed down once they realized we were serious about taking legal action if they fired her for this. How did they expect their gay and lesbian medical providers to be able to start families if they could not access fertility services?
I’d like to add that if you are a single mother by choice, or freezing because you are at the end of your fertility window, nothing is covered, because you are not medically infertile. It’s infuriating. I spent 100K on fertility treatments last year. That was 4 IVF cycles. I have one good embryo. That’s it.
I am lucky.
Also it’s excluded if you are a lesbian or do not have a specific diagnosis for infertility. It’s actually a very narrow group of woman that many policies cover.
Recommendations for flush mount light fixtures? We bought a new house and I’d love to get rid of the boob lights in the kitchen and hallway.
Depending on your aesthetic, I like West Elm or Pottery Barn for simple drum-style linen flush mounts, though you probably want to avoid fabric in the kitchen. There are also fancier ones with wooden beads or blown glass or things like that if that’s more your speed. Serena & Lily has some beautiful splurge ones.
I like Circa lighting for fixtures, they’re a bit on the expensive side but they often have styles nobody else does – aerin and Thomas O’Brien are favorites of mine. I’ve put these in a few rooms and love them but we have a home from the 1800s so the style fits:
https://www.circalighting.com/enrique-flush-mount-tob4220/
Ohh that’s lovely!
I hate you. Actually I love these. My wallet is appalled but IMO maybe these cost more because they are so awesome. Clearly not junky lighting fixtures.
If it helps they are VERY sturdy pieces and you can clearly tell they are made with heavy materials vs. plastics. Sorry, I know they’re spendy but pretty lights really upgrade the look of a space imho and that’s a place I tend to splurge.
be still, my art deco loving heart
A lot of it really depends on your style and the light requirements (like how many bulbs do you need in the fixture – is it decorative with other can lights providing a lot of light), and how high your ceilings are. If you have high ceilings, you can do a bigger fixture.
Check out Overstock and Wayfair – I got a bunch of fixtures from there when we were building. I mixed fixtures from Overstock, Wayfair, Home Depot, Lowes, and West Elm.
Here’s a couple random ones I like:
https://www.overstock.com/Lighting-Ceiling-Fans/Modern-Faux-Wood-Water-Ripple-Full-Flush-Mount-Ceiling-Lighting-3-Lights-D12.5-xH6/31439524/product.html?refccid=5S6GJJ5NJRS23KSPKPTSAASZIA&searchidx=64&kwds=&rfmt=&option=65178954
https://www.overstock.com/Lighting-Ceiling-Fans/Farmhouse-vintage-close-to-ceiling-light-fixture-with-glass-shade-globe-ceiling-lamp/34644344/product.html?refccid=5S6GJJ5NJRS23KSPKPTSAASZIA&searchidx=55&kwds=&rfmt=&option=65885150
https://www.overstock.com/Lighting-Ceiling-Fans/Inspire-Collection-Two-Light-Flush-Mount/26295787/product.html?refccid=5S6GJJ5NJRS23KSPKPTSAASZIA&searchidx=46&kwds=&rfmt=&option=44218785
https://www.overstock.com/Lighting-Ceiling-Fans/Trade-Winds-Stella-Star-Semi-Flush-Mount-Ceiling-Light-in-Natural-Brass/35378553/product.html?refccid=5S6GJJ5NJRS23KSPKPTSAASZIA&searchidx=2&guid=ad2a0cec-4412-47de-9f4e-98eb4565e8c4&osp=true&kwds=&rfmt=&option=67864115
https://www.overstock.com/Lighting-Ceiling-Fans/Shelby-3-light-Polished-Nickel-Flush-Mount/32830800/product.html?refccid=NAQKKNZIIJM3BESLVR5GEQYN7M&searchidx=104&kwds=&rfmt=&option=60904666
Costco has some occasionally – not bad if you need to replace a bunch at once because of the generous return policy plus 4% back.
Restoration hardware.
I discovered the “semi flush mount” when we replaced our boob lights and I’m so happy with them. We have these (or very similar): https://www.lowes.com/pd/Livex-Lighting/5013850319 but there are a ton of varieties. As long as you have the ceiling height, I think the tiny drop from the ceiling gives a really nice look.
I love Olde Brick Lighting. It is a husband and wife owned small company with artisans that hand blow the shades. All done in Pennsylvania.
OMG kicking myself that I had to buy a bunch of light fixtures last year and OMG I like these so much better. Still one boob light to replace, so I’m clicking around at lunch it looks like.
Oooh I looove these! Bookmarking for future purchases!
Thinking of Her Majesty today. It’s been a long time of God Save The Queen.
I commented below before you popped out of m-d. Indeed. What a life!
I know she can’t live forever, but when she finally does pass it’s going to hit me hard. She reminds me of my late grandmother.
This is exactly how I feel. Didn’t get to choose the circumstances of her life but dealt with things for many years with a lot of stamina and grace. Over 70 years in that role is such an accomplishment.
Same. I have an uncle who looks like Prince Charles (but is a good ol’ boy fixing up old trucks and looking after his barn cats; his wife, my aunt by marriage, is one of the best people on the planet).
Same – she is about 10 years younger than my late grandmother, and let’s just say the generational trauma of living through Britain during WWII probably created a lot of similarities.
Same — but same age. My grandmother was retired from when I was 10 years old, so I have to admire the queen for just keeping going when in any other job, you’d hang up your hat. And with your family drama in the press (she is totally right to neither explain nor complain on that front). They don’t make leaders like this anymore (two exceptions currently: Ukraine’s leader and Kyiv’s mayor — hanging in there notably).
Me, too – she’s a personal role model and I’ll be very sad. But she’s impressive in her stamina and grace, even now.
Me too. I’ve lost all my grandparents and I suppose she sort of assumed that role in my head, as a link to the past and to memory. Getting really quite emotional.
Is there a really good documentary about her? I respect her, but I don’t really know anything about her.
I’ve been enjoying some recent PBS specials like The Queen At War. There are a few from PBS about her I think.
Maybe unpopular, but I wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole. I used to feel similarly and the more I learned, the more respect I lost. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
No she does not remind me of my late Indian grandmother at all. Her family are parasites. And she made her own family miserable: see Margaret, Charles.
Respectfully an old lady is dying.
Did you really just tell an Indian person to respect the Queen?!?
+1
I don’t think the general public has an obligation to feel sad about a public figure’s death, especially one connected to oppression of their people (if you learn the details of how the British treated freedom fighters from the subcontinent, it’s hard to stomach). While the Queen may represent grandmotherly love to some, to others she represents pain, loss, and theft of prosperity and safety, and even the murder of loved ones.
I feel sympathy for her loved ones as I do for anyone who loses someone important to them. But that doesn’t obligate Alanna or others to respect her. Respect is earned, and someone who might have gained one person’s respect may have done nothing to earn another’s.
Honestly, I don’t think about the Queen very much or very often. I liked her speech at the start of COVID, but most of my thoughts are along the lines of “that’s a cute cardigan” or “aw, corgis!” It’s not my country, my ancestors left the UK in the 19th century. If I’m going to get interested in a monarch, it’s going to be a Scandinavian one (they seem more down to earth).
I remember sitting in a motel room in the fall of 1997 wishing that my parents would turn off CNN (they were glued to the Princess Diana coverage). I felt so guilty, but years and years of therapy later, I know it’s fine to be empathetic but not actually sad.
She didn’t. Words having meanings — maybe you should review what was actually written.
Respectful tone for an old woman who may be dying (because of her being a human being) is way different than respect to a heritable political office or its current holder.
She does not need to respect her. But there is a time to express criticism. And that time is not when she is elderly and dying and other people are mourning.
Wait until after the funeral and be as critical as you want (although honestly this particular individual has not done much to India.)
Family = whining crybabies. And Margaret can kick your a$s.
If you look at her life, she was of a reasonably mature age at many flashpoints in history and her/her family have consistently not been on the side of things like racial equality, independence from colonialism and resource plundering, etc. I commented above saying the more I learned about her life, the more respect I lost, and it makes me wonder why someone who has demonstrated an inability to change for the better with the times is so revered globally and continues to be funded by taxpayers.
Some on this board may not take it well, but I think it’s worth mentioning that I have noticed a difference along racial lines in my own friend group and social circles about who has respect for/interest in the Queen and who simply does not see the point.
+1
My mother is one for carping constantly about Princess Meghan, but she finally stopped when I was like, “Why do you care so much? Because she’s Black and an American?”
There are MANY reasons to dislike Meghan that have nothing to do with her skin color or her nationality. I was so excited for her to join the Royal Family, but H&M handled their exit terribly, everything has just gone downhill from there, and that ridiculous Lion King story she made up was just the final straw in terms of my opinion of her. She’s desperate to be famous on her own terms, and it’s gross.
Well, my mom remains mad about the bishop who spoke at the wedding, that the first baby doesn’t have a “real” title, and that she was “hostile” at an unspecified time an unspecified event. All signs point to…my mom is a racist.
Honestly, I save all of my celebrity-related ire for Gwyneth Paltrow.
I know it’s a product of the time but it seems that being a royal really is not compatible with being the best parent or the best person. The older I get the less respect I have. Any arguments about the royal institution stopping her from doing certain things seem weak because she could literally have done anything she wanted to do.
This is not how a constitutional monarchy works at all. She cannot do ‘anything she wants’.
Exactly. It wasn’t even like that in The Tudors.
Whoops, with respect to royal decorum and all that. I didn’t mean to imply she’s going to like wage war on France or something. There’s a lot that she doesn’t actually have to do. :)
I totally agree! As if anyone from a country colonized by the UK (and there are quite a few of them!) looked up to her and will be sad about this is laughable honestly
Does the UK still have ‘colonies’? Any state that does not want her as their head of state can just discontinue the practice? Quite a number have and have still chosen to remain part of the Commonwealth as a voluntary association (India)
Many others (Canada, Australia, New Zealand) have found it useful to have the resident head of state role (Governor General) to be a non-political role. There is no way Canada would have had a Haitian women refugee, a Hong Kong immigrant women or an Inuit woman as our resident head of state if it was an elected system.
+1
Thank you for this
I just got a notification she passed
It is somehow so appropriate that one of her last official acts was to install a new woman Prime Minister for the UK.
Do all those snarking on the Queen…is Prince Charles better!? She strikes me as one of the best members of that family.
It’s not a high bar… which really just reflects on the uselessness of a monarchy in 2022
I’m going to Italy for the first two weeks of October — Rome and Florence. What should I pack? I’m all set on a pair of very comfortable white leather sneakers that I can walk all day in — but I need at least one other pair of shoes or boots. What kind of outerwear and bag should I bring? I haven’t traveled internationally in 5+ years and I think I forgot how to pack!
Cute booties. I would bring a light wool jacket and scarf, but you could also do a light raincoat or leather jacket if that’s your vibe. I would bring a small umbrella- it probably won’t be that cold but it might rain.
Booties like Blondo that are stylish but weatherproof.
How does Blondo compare to Sorel / LaCanadienne / Aquatalia? I am in need of booties and live where it RAINS.
I bought Blondo chelsea boots after wearing my Sorel Harlows into the ground. Both have proven to be waterproof and comfortable. I liked the Harlows just a smidge better but really just for aesthetics.
Having been to Rome and Florence in the first two weeks of October, I thought the weather was basically “nice summer” – hot but not overwhelmingly so during the day and warm at night. Obviously check the forecast closer to your departure, but I am not sure you will need anything but a very light jacket (if that) and I don’t think you’ll need booties. I brought sandals and a pair of very comfortable gentle souls flats.
Bring a crossbody bag – you’ll be in a lot of touristy areas and it’s good to avoid pickpockets.
+1
This is also my experience from Rome in October. No need for booties, it’s a late summer mood.
scarf for going into Church, extra pair of comfortable shoes, and an extra bag for purchases.
I went into a half dozen churches in t-shirts and leggings or short sleeved dresses. I never had any need for a scarf for my head or arms.
I don’t say this to be snarky but just because you did does not mean you should.
People do all sorts of things. It’s considered respectful to dress conservatively or cover up a bit for church/other places of worship. Some places will outright tell you so (orthodox churches in eastern europe, for example). Sometimes no one will say anything. You should still be mindful of decorum.
No one was wearing scarves in the churches. I’m Catholic from a large Italian-American family. There’s nothing wrong with wearing short sleeves in Catholic churches in Italy or the US!
Aren’t the scarf for your shoulders if you have no sleeves? The scarf itself is not relevant, just the shoulders.
I know several people who have been refused entry to churches in Italy, always because of spaghetti straps or similar, not leggings and t-shirt.
I went to Rome during the 2nd week of Oct. last year, and it was hot and humid. I brought 2 pairs of comfy sneakers (black and white) and shower sandals. I probably could have brought comfy sandals. I was sweaty and wish I had brought more dresses and less leggings. I never wore the sweater.
I think Rome and Florence are in the 70s at that time. at least it was when i went. A cotton dress on its own is enough during the day but you need a light jacket for evenings. A true trench is probably too heavy. I brought a silk trench-ish jacket that worked plus a shell for rain. for shoes, i wore sneakers for 80% of the day and flats for any night time dinners that required shoes.
Waterproof leather boots or booties that you feel stable in (Rome is pretty when it rains, but the water can briefly flow through the walkways as it drains).
I brought a rain jacket with removable lining so that I could be cool and dry during the day but warm at night. That worked out fine but wasn’t really necessary since “a sweater” and a weatherproof jacket would have worked just as well.
It’ll be fall-ish- so cooling down, possibly rainy.
I’d buy a pair of boots there. Florence is famous for leather
Possibly an unpopular opinion, but I normally travel in Europe with just sneakers unless it’s really hot summer in which case I also bring along sandals or water shoes. Unless you’ll be going to a really fancy restaurant or something that would frown on sneakers, I think you probably don’t need a second pair of shoes. Sneakers are fine at the Vatican and other religious sites.
Ooh, I like this. Love a mockneck.
What natural fiber rugs feel good under feet (and if they feel good, so they all shed)? Is there a good synthetic alternative (or tan wool?). I bought something that is like walking on rocks. Now that the dog has ruined it, it is time to try this again.
100% wool feels really nice underfoot and is so durable. It will shed for about 6 months (best to vacuum regularly to speed up the shedding) but after that, no real shedding. I will say, if you want something that’s so soft you want to rub your face on it, you’ll probably want something synthetic.
Also, a luxe rug pad (not the flat honeycomb kind but the thick kind) under a so-so rug can make all the difference.
Agree with 100% wool all the way. The shedding goes away. So much easier to clean if any accidental spills.
Jute feels nicer on the feet and doesn’t have that weird smell. But it stains and can’t really be cleaned. I have a few as placeholders until my kids get older. I throw hide rugs over them.
(Fwiw I might be the only person on the planet bothered by the smell of that sea grass/ sisal stuff).
My handknotted and vintage machine-knotted wool rugs don’t shed and feel great to walk on.
Tufted wool rugs shed.
We’re heading into fall! I am looking for a black mockneck that I can use as a layering piece. I am not even sure where to start — has anyone seen anything like this lately?
Uniqlo or lands end
Sadly struck out at Uniqlo — but will check out Lands End! Thanks!
JCrew has sleeveless mocknecks. I also like their tissue turtlenecks for layering.
Thank you! I need something with sleeves — it’s for a Halloween costume (I know) — but I will go check out their tissue turtlenecks :)
They are thin enough that if you want the mockneck ‘look’ even though it’s a turtleneck, the neck can be rolled several times before it’s thick enough to be irritating.
Elie Tahari
I found a thin one I love at H&M last year
Abercrombie has a great one – lightweight and very soft.
I’m really at a loss for what a 40 year old suburban lady should wear out to swanky dinners. I want to look cute but current fashion and recent weight gain have me feeling frumpy. I’m meeting with a personal stylist today at a department store but any pointers are totally welcome. Thanks!
Well, what do you like? Sue Sartor? Lilly? More Moira Rose vibes (AllSaints) or more Alexis Rose?
Also, on the town in Las Vegas or NYC or Miami or Toledo? That matters.
Look at the instagram of the photos tagged at restaurants. Depending on the city, most swanky restaurants other than steak houses are not super dressed up affairs and fall into the “rich casual” category of dressing. E.g., for guys it is more often than not fancy sneakers + sport jacket rather than more formal business type clothes – for women this translates into all sorts of things. And, I’ve said this before, nothing combats the frumpy feeling like getting your hair done. Good hair, plus jeans and a black tshirt can look like a million bucks.
Can never go wrong with an LBD and fabulous pair of shoes.
Similar age but city dweller, and honestly people are all over the place with attire. For “regular date night” type evenings out in fall, I’m partial to current-cut jeans (in my case that means a slight bootcut, not cool or coltish enough for Mom Jeans or cropped flares), street sneakers or pretty flats, silky top and leather jacket.
By swanky do you mean it’s somewhere with a dress code (jackets required)?
I’ve seen this outfit but with an oversized tweedy blazer instead of a leather jacket.
I feel like oversized is a look if you are a 20ish influencer, but on me, I would be looking like HRC in her pantsuits. There must be something else.
I wore that look in junior high in the mid-90’s (tweedy jacket over a turtleneck and jeans with Docs for edge) and just can’t bring myself to go back to age 12-13 again!!
Based on yesterday, Alaia LBD should be the answer.
the description of “40 year old suburban lady” makes me sad. I want to give you a whole different list of words to use in describing yourself. I guarantee that phrase does not capture who you truly are.
Not the OP, but I feel like perimenopause had me firmly sliding towards Jennifer Saunders character in Ab Fab. I dream of ending up like Moira Rose, but it’s not looking good right now.
I am actually laughing out loud at this. I feel you so much.
Ever Eve is def for the hip elder millennial, but I have recently fallen in love with it.
As a single 48 year old gal, who fancies herself one to be out on the town, my uniform is jeans with an interesting top, a couple of layered necklaces and expensive shoes. I don’t do flats for going out, in general, but that’s me.
I like a silky print top, or a fun solid with pretty details. Bella Dahl, Willa Story and Sofia are brands that lots of boutiques carry. They have good drape and prints that are more sophisticated. Nordstrom has a couple of brands that aren’t expensive, but hang well — CeCe and Vince Camuto come to mind.
My favorite jeans for this fall are a wide leg. I have black cropped flares from Spanx I got on clearance — I had them in white for summer and wore them a squillion times and the high rise skinny flare from White House black market (I know, the ads are so desperate divorcee, but the pants are really good if you’re not skinny). My fellow elder millennials may be hoping for the return of the black wide leg going out pant. Let us all pray to the fashion gods that we can return to our Lorelei Gilmore days where a strong shoe and a cropped blazer so beautifully balanced a pear figure.
I layer a couple of dainty necklaces — a diamond pendant and something else — Judith bright, Kendra Scott, local artist kind of thing to fill in the open buttons of my button down.
You can also do a shorter dress (just above the knee) with a nude bootie. All the bachelorettes in Nashville have transitioned to white, not nude booties. I don’t know if I will get there, but you do you.
Haha aww I feel so loved that you felt sad for me!
I actually love living in the suburbs and being 40! I’m in a suburb of ny that was a 19th century whaling village. I walk past the harbor and through the little shops every morning. I have the time and money to make an appointment with a personal shopper on my lunch break! Im really happy I just need new clothes ;)
Oh! Now you’re a happy woman in the prime of her life who lives by the sea, enjoys fashion, and has a life-giving walk to work every day.
SOOOO far from “40 year old suburban lady…”
I feel better now.
: )
I would 100% adopt “lives by the sea” as my new descriptor.
if you can wear heels go for those – dresses and leather pants look so much better with them (says person who can’t wear them anymore), tall boots or OTK boots are also still in.
nothing too short unless you have amazing legs. i’d skip the trends you did the first time like combat boots.
pick a feature you like – boobs, butt, clavicle, whatever, and highlight
if you like lilly pulitzer check out tuckernuck, lots of cute dresses and tops
if you like momedit check out evereve, it’s like a going out store for older ladies
Older ladies. Yikes. I actually got their catalog yesterday. Will hearing aid and senior living invites follow? If so, I may go for the ones that come with a steak dinner first :)
I’m cracking up as I asked about Evereve below. It is firmly targeting elder millenials/Gen-X if the Liz Phair styling interview is anything to go by, but I really liked a lot of the looks! Fwiw, I’m totally ok claiming the ‘older lady’ title, it’s true, I am older and I’m not interested in chasing trends so much as being comfortable while still being stylish.
I can assure you that senior living and hearing aid solicitations are coming, along with multiple invitations to join AARP.
Hey, now. I don’t think 40 is “older.” These days 70+ is “older.” Evereve is for middle-aged ladies who aren’t ready for Talbots.
Ok “older ladies” wasnt the best way to phrase it – but like Talbots, jmcclauglim, chicos, jjill all feel RETIRED old whereas evereve feels like ages 40-60 looking good feeling good lady who is still hip and disgusted with her friends buying cabi
How swanky? I felt the same recently and a new pair of well fitting but new style jean and a white blazer has been my go to! Simple but fun options for shoes and bag have gave me lots of use out it already.
J McLaughlin all the way. LBD for more formal date nights.
my husband just finished his medical training at the end of June. he’s starting a practice and it’s (understandably) slow to start. He and another doctor (also starting out, also slow) share an office and one employee. the employee is a gorgeous woman who left her previous practice on bad terms. I learned this morning that she “kind of dated” her previous doctor boss. my husband also just learned this fact yesterday.
I am feeling so insecure about this. I’ve brought it up to my husband and he assures me I have nothing to worry about in that regard. I have never before felt doubtful or mistrusting of my husband and he’s acting completely normally and professionally towards her—I have no foundation for thinking anything untoward has or will happen other than she’s beautiful and they’re together all day and she seems to?? have dated a doctor boss before. but those are bad facts!
I’m also giving a lot of financial support in the new practice. My husband and I have been together since early college and I know he is devoted to me and he is not the stereotypical kind of person to cheat or anything similar. However I can’t help but feeling like I am the sucker starter wife who will get left for the more beautiful woman as soon as his practice is off the ground. again—nothing my husband has done or said to give me the idea this might happen; just the situation.
I was already feeling insecure and then the news that she dated her previous boss is sending me over the edge this morning.
i’m surprised he is starting his own practice. very few physicians hang up a shingle these days. what specialty is he in? i get your concern, but this is a case of try not to put ideas in your head and also tell your husband how you’re feeling
I’m shocked that his practice is slow! So many places have a high demand for doctors. Don’t let it become a money pit and maybe structure the investment you have made as a business loan to his medical corp? Maybe set a time limit on the new practice before he joins an established practice.
I would want to know how he found out. If she told him, that gives me vibes of her raising the possibility whereas if he found out from a colleague that was warning him, I’d be less concerned.
I do think it is a good sign that he was open with you about this.
Yeah, this seems odd and extremely risky from a financial perspective as well as for professional development.
it depends.
Several medical specialties make a lot more money by having loose affiliations with hospitals, and their own private practice. some won’t even take insurance.
surgical subspecialties, psychiatry, ophthalmology, dermatology are examples.
So the thing here is that you have to trust your husband. It takes 2 to tango. She may have dated her previous boss but that doesn’t really have anything to do with your husband. My sister is in medical school and they did a “practice appointment” where the actor-patient pretended to flirt with the doctor. Its about how your husband handles it, and it seems like there is no reason to think he will handle it badly.
Please separate whatever you’re feeling with your husband from your thoughts about this employee. She may have done something in the past, but it doesn’t make sense to cast her in a bad light because you are imagining that she and your husband might do things.
I don’t have experience with infidelity so I’m not sure if those are red flags or not; I’ll let others chime in as to that point. But if you land on that this is mostly about your insecurity and jealousy, I just have one thought that DH and I have learned: when we allow jealousy to enter our interactions with each other, it makes our lives smaller and isn’t good for either of us. We want to live big, fulfilling lives and that involves working with other people closely. Jealousy will make both of your lives smaller. Embody being the partner of your husband, a key part in making both of your dreams come true – that partner is not jealous of the employees who make up the team.
This is really smart and very useful to keep in mind. I don’t get jealous much, but nice to think this way when I do.
Great comment! Love this.
Something is unconsciously sparking a gut suspicion. Why would he hire someone who left the same type of work on bad terms. There must be medical secretaries with good references out there. Why does a struggling practice need a fulltime employee. I would not ignore your spidey sense if I were you.
If the practice is slow to start, are you funding her salary? Maybe pull that funding and have them get a part-time person from a temp agency to save money. Don’t be gaslighted into believing it’s all on you.
You seriously have no clue what medical staffing is like right now.
And the woman’s prior situation doesn’t necessarily mean she is a bad employee. Her relationship with the doc might have been harassment or mutual and respectful or whatever–it’s none of OPs business. I think OP needs to address her own insecurity and her relationship with her husband. Whether he cheats on her or not is solely about him and their relationship.
Suggesting firing someone because they are too attractive and it bothers the owner’s spouse is just gross. I would hope my career or my daughter’s or any other woman’s is never in the hands of an insecure spouse’s “spidey sense.”
It is her business when she is funding HIS practice.
You must be joking. The personal lives of his employees that have no involvement in ability to perform the job (or even her employees if you want to take it that way) are not OP’s business. That is such a bizarre take on this whole thing.
If she is resenting investing in the business or wants to take on operational control (billing, marketing, etc.), that’s a whole other conversation.
OMG – They cannot fire her for being female and attractive unless they want to get sued.
She had a relationship with her prior boss (was he married?) That does not mean she is some kind of doctor-stalking slut out to seduce every MD she meets. OP – there is an issue with you, your husband and your insecurity. It might or might not have any basis in reality, but blaming his office personnel is avoiding addressing the real issue, which is that you do not trust your spouse.
Maybe.
OTOH, doctors make bad business decisions all the time (and hanging a shingle as a newbie may be one of them). If OP is funding, even partially, all this, it may be time (concurrent with this discovery, but not b/c of it) to do a hard assess of the big picture. In my city, there are basically hospital-owned practices that are busy and NOTHING else outside of plastic surgery and some very unique specialties (one big ENT practice) that are big and long-established. Dentists are all small business owners and IMO struggle a lot. If you are an MD, in the beginning, you need to spend your time doctoring. Branch off later and if you are established financially (and per your inevitable noncompete), but not as a starter matter.
If the employee if reasonably smart, maybe she has some good knowledge from doing this before (insurance, billing, paying vendors, financing office stuff, dealing with the copier) that will keep her plenty busy. No doubt, she will see that this is a shaky business if she is halfway paying attention and if she is a harpy, that will cool the ardor.
Can we not call other women harpies? That does none of us females any good.
100% this
Could you possibly be displacing your anxiety over the new practice (and your $ tied into it) onto this situation?
yes, I think that has something to do with it. he’s been in school or training our whole relationship and for the last few years I have been making (much) more money than him. I think there’s some deep insecurity that he won’t “need” me anymore and I will be cast aside.
I think this here is your real issue, plus the anxiety and stress of supporting the new practice.
First of all, this secretary may have sort of dated this other doctor and there’s nothing wrong with that! Maybe she had a casual drinks date, didn’t want to see him anymore and that’s why she left the office. Could have been a harassment issue. We have no idea. Also, theres no mention of the other doctor being married so there’s no reason to think she would pursue a married man!
Also, I thought in the event of a divorce a medical degree is almost like joint property in this situation and you would get a significant payout or alimony. I could be wrong, though. Just saying it’s not like he doesn’t need you but I certainly don’t need for bf for anything financial. I just want to be with him which isn’t a bad thing!
This.
I’m sorry. Maybe they can hire another employee?
Sorry, I meant that they can hire *more employees.
I think it’s way too early to get worked up about this. The information you know is that she dated one former boss. For all you know, that doctor was single. Or even if not, the fact that he was the boss puts more of the ill advised workplace romance on him, versus the person with less power. Just because this woman is pretty, there’s no need to brand her as some femme fatale, blowing up marriages in every place she works. Also, I’d maybe let your husband know your concerns once and then drop it assuming there are no developments. Insecurity and paranoia are not attractive.
you’re correct- this woman hasn’t done anything to me! she’s just pretty! you’re completely right. can you please tell that to my irrational brain??? how do I stop feeling like I do and internalize this advice.
Brains are irrational sometimes. Remember that your thoughts are not an indictment. Sometimes when they come you have to name them, sit with them, and then let them go.
(source – loads of therapy).
If you’re inclined, listen to the September 5 We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle podcast. It’s titled “How Glennon Lost Her Mind”. It’s very on point for figuring out how to deal with our thoughts.
Wow — my exBIL became my exBIL by hooking up with a nurse who was known for that. Maybe she’ll go for the other doctor.
I know one surgeon who divorced his wife for his office manager a few years before his retirement. They went off to Florida.
I work with a lot of doctors and the number married to their office manager is surprisingly high. Though I don’t know which came first, the marriage or the job.
(But don’t borrow trouble, OP)
I know a family friend who started helping out at her husbands medical practice. The marriage came first then the office manager position. I think it’s just better financially rather than hiring a full time employee that need health insurance.
This — I know a lot of wives who were nurses who became office managers (more efficiency and loyalty), but it didn’t come nefariously but from having the same goal. Also, this was the original wife in all cases.
My aunt is the manager of my uncle’s medical practice. The marriage definitely came first (they began dating in high school).
“who was known for that”
Some women seem to think that doctors have $ (and yet what they have is medical school debt and good prospects). My friend put her ex through med school and gave up her career as they moved for his. He couldn’t take time off, so she couldn’t work b/c daycare was more than she made once they had 2 kids (and daycare won’t take a sick kid anyway). 4 kids in, he leaves her for a nurse he supervised (who had a bit of a reputation). Because the divorce was at the end of the “poor” years, they had no assets to split and child support is paltry in their state.
Why do any of you think these anecdotes are helpful here? What would you have OP do? Preemptively divorce her husband?
Not the poster above but I assume the point of a cautionary tale is to remind her to financially protect herself.
I think there’s a slim chance her husband will cheat but it’s important for women to be aware of this possibility. Be very careful giving up your career for a husband/family.
“Be very careful giving up your career for a husband/family”
But that’s not even remotely the case here. OP posted that she makes more, is financially supporting the new business, and didn’t talk about giving up her job at all.
Why are you sinking money into his business instead of him joining an established practice for a while?
IMO doctors are good at doctoring and bad (like really bad) at everything else (running a business, dealing with their lease, being an employer, running HR, etc., etc.). This surprises me not a bit.
In general, that’s pretty accurate. They spend years learning how to be a doctor, but they get no business training. Yet almost every young doctor completes residency with a plan to open a business at some point.
OP, does this employee have business experience? Does she know how to run the business side of the practice? Because they are going to need someone who understands cash flow, billing, payroll and taxes. Healthcare compliance is another whole area that they will need help with if they don’t already.
Since the employee has worked in a practice previously, she has at least some knowledge that your DH and his business partner are going to need.
this is not true at all
I only knew a couple docs from med school who wanted to open their own business. they were both plastic surgeons and one had a business degree. most people going to med school want to be docs and the major academic centers I have trained at (big cities bi-coasts)
most traditional docs don’t make enough money to support a business venture in most markets. the complexity of billing/coding/insurance alone is dizzying so you need to hire quite a lot of folks to run that side.
Haha I’m a healthcare attorney and this is so true. The kicker is that most of them THINK they’re good at everything and don’t ask for actual help until things are already a terrible mess.
When I’ve been sick enough that I had doubts about my ability to work, the incompetence of my physicians’ staff would sometimes comfort me. If all else fails and I’m barely functional and 50% of my work product contains errors, maybe I could still work the front desk at some of these doctors’ offices?
(Apologies to the office staff who actually rock — they’re out there too and make a tremendous difference for their patients!)
Yeah, but it is also true of lawyers, including the part about us thinking we are good at everything. We are as a group remarkably bad managers of people. Terrible.
“I was already feeling insecure…” Insecure about this woman, or insecure in general in ways that have nothing to do with this woman?
Counseling for you and get a post-nup, STAT.
If I missed what should be obvious advice, you need some sort of contract that specifies that you own a % of the business, perhaps greater than what community property laws in your area would dictate. You’re funding this thing, you need it on paper.
I don’t know what to tell you about the beautiful woman. But I think having your investment documented will go a long way toward piece of mind about being the “sucker wife” as you describe. Regardless of the situation, you should never let yourself be even a potential sucker!!
I agree that this would be a good time to specify in writing what your investment has been in the business and what your ownership is. It might be wise to consult an attorney to find out what the laws are in your state. There are some interesting points raised above about doctors’ issues in running the business end of their practices. It could help protect both you and your husband’s investment in the business to invest in the services of whatever consultants work with medical practices to review the practice’s business practices (including billing, insurance, and who has access to money).
Anyone else glued to the news from Balmoral today? I’m not ready!!
Same. I hope she’s comfortable and surrounded by loved ones. The fact that Harry & Meg are flying in says a lot
They were already in the U.K., they’re not flying internationally. I’m so glad for Harry that he was already close enough.
Harry and Meghan were already coincidentally in London this week, FYI.
Same. I also feel really bad for the Cambridge kids. They started at a new school today and then this news on top must be stressful. My kids are similar age and quite attached to my mom’s mom. They would have a super hard time with a new school + ill Nana.
I’m not ready either! I’ve been obsessively refreshing the NY Times page. This feels like a Big Deal!
does anyone know if the new covid boosters are already available?
I got an email from Walgreens a few days ago encouraging me to make an appt.
Amusingly, I recommended that my Massachusetts-born husband look at Walgreens for his (we’ll be in Chicago for a bit), and he was like why WALGREENS?
Uh, honey, they’re headquartered in Illinois.
I got mine at Walgreens yesterday.
how do you feel after? similar reactions to the other ones?
I got the flu shot at the same time and can’t definitively attribute any reaction to one vaccine or the other, but I will say that each successive COVID shot has been less terrible than the last.
+1 to all of this.
My mom had a terrible reaction (high fever, vomiting, extreme fatigue) to the second and third Moderna shots (she got the three dose primary series). The boosters are half the dose of the primary series and she basically had no reaction to shots #4 (original booster) and #5 (bivalent booster). My mom is petite so I think the high dose was clearly just way too much for her.
I got mine at a CVS on Saturday.
Yes they are
Scheduled for next week (updated covid + flu) at Walgreens (in New Jersey)!
Yes. in my area (Chicago suburbs) they are available at retail pharmacies (CVS, Walgreens, Meijer, Jewel-Osco) but have not been made available through most medical groups/vaccine clinics yet. I’d expect the medical centers to start offering them in the next few days.
Yep, I have family members waiting on Kaiser and, as far as I know, the updated boosters aren’t out yet in most areas.
Yep, they’re available, go make an appointment! I’m getting mine on Tuesday!
Yes, my parents got it yesterday.
I’m all for the updated booster, but is there any credence to being worried that it hasn’t been tested in humans?
No. This is exactly what we do for the flu vaccine every year. It’s just a minor update on the existing vaccine, which has been extensively tested.
No. flu shots are updated every year without human trials. This is no different.
I do see it as different than updating the flu vaccine. To my knowledge, it’s the first update of an mRNA booster and first update of a covid booster. We have no measure of the efficacy or risks because human trials (although underway) have not been completed. I’m planning to wait a few weeks until I get my flu vaccine (and a few thousand others have gotten the covid booster).
Do most of you expect for the new booster to work against the current variant(s), or is it mostly about following the science and fighting Trumpism? I think each booster would ideally serve both purposes, but I intend to get mine and require DH and children to do the same, even if the realistic purpose is more in the latter category. Curious if anyone more scientifically inclined than I am can provide any optimism for any efficacy against the current variant(s) with this round of booster!
It will definitely help, the question is just how much, which will depend a lot on which new variants pop up. At the very least, it should provide a short term boost in antibodies that should help with a fall surge.
The new booster vaccinates against Omicron strains, which are the current variants.
I have more doubts about the decision to include an original variant boost than I do about the Omicron component of the bivalent booster.
Same. Some of us have already had four shots against OG Covid, I’m really not sure why that had to be included. I just want the Omicron part.
I don’t think it will be as effective as I’d like it to be, so even though I’ve already gotten the booster I will continue with other precautions. Every little bit of protection helps and I see little downside to vaccination other than feeling crummy afterwards.
Yup.
Similar to above question – Portugal in mid November. Am looking at weather but anyone have any real person idea on what I should be wearing that time of year for eating and drinking my way through exploring Lisbon and Porto?
Jeans, tops, trench coat, scarf.
I went to Lisbon mid September and it was perfect weather. I did get a little color just from sitting out by the waterfront. I think November might be chilly but if you’re ok with that then it should be fine. I generally run cold.
Are jumpsuits still in? I’ve bought a few but they never look right, trying to decide if I should keep shopping or get the ones I have tailored.
Get the ones you have tailored. Not because jumpsuits are “out” and you should stop buying them (I truly, truly believe that letting someone’s hot takes on whether an item is “out” or “in” govern what we wear is thinking that needs to be banished), but because you need to see how/if they can be made to fit you in a way you like, before you waste time/money trying to buy more of them.
jumpsuit proportions are impossible to get right off the rack. No other item of clothing needs to fit your precise dimensions so perfectly – both shoulder-to-waist and waist-to-cr.tch! I would investigate tailoring the existing.
The torso measurements are always so off on me that they make me feel like a corgi.
This might be a long shot but does anyone have info or links to info on how they asesss Canadian govt scientists on the RES 1-5 scale. DH is looking at a job in Canadian govt and having trouble figuring out where he would be placed on the scale if offered. Different system vs the system I’m familiar with where the job level is set before it’s posted.
According to Reddit (so grain of salt):
Prior to getting a LOO, your cv will be evaluated by the RES classification committee. They look at publications, innovation, impact, service, and one or two other categories (there are ways of judging these, but it varies by discipline and department). In a nutshell, RES1 is right out of a PhD or postdoc with few pubs, and RES5 is a recognized world leader in their field frequently invited to be a guest speaker at international conferences, etc. One classification heuristic is that RES2 does work of regional or specific importance, RES3 does work of national importance, and for 4 and 5 you’re collaborating internationally. Most people start their careers at 1 or 2 and plateau at 3, but the most productive get to 4 or 5.
Link here: https://www.reddit.com/r/CanadaPublicServants/comments/mdztw1/research_scientist_seres_how_is/
The way the pay scales is you start at step 1 unless you bring some extraordinary skill or experience, and every year on the employees anniversary they move up a step. There are also COL raises that happen yearly too. This is outlined in the collective agreement (the big document to which the pay scale is annexed)
Also just realized you may be getting the classification and step confused. There are 5 RES classifications with 8-10 steps each.
Yes – sorry! Was looking for info on how they determine the classification – like if he’s likely to be assessed as a 2, 3, or 4 in particular.
It will depend on how much and the type of experience your husband brings, all the people I know have started at a 1 or 2. I only personally know one 5 and they are the world’s foremost expert in their field and represent Canada at UN and other international forums.
Thanks! I’ve heard that 1 is like immediately after post doc but can’t find a lot on what pushes someone from a 2 to a 3 or a 3 to a 4. 4 might be overly optimistic and he definitely wouldn’t take it if offered at a 2 but hard to figure out where he would land and no clear answers on if/when the criteria for each classification are available.
He’s not going to be offered a 3 or 4 unless he’s truly special. Has he just applied or is he actually in the process? Hiring takes a year minimum for external hires.
Has just been screened in and done written exams – they narrow to three candidates for presentations at the research centre.
He’s won a number of national awards for his work but less international due in part to the nature of his specialty. He’s 15 years out from his post doc.
I’d give a +1 per decade in scientific work, unless he’s at the top of his cohort with respect to grant income or publication history.
Thanks – this is a useful guide!
my kid hates the carpet in his room so we’re thinking about replacing it. but in the meantime, how bad is a rug over carpet? will it get all bunchy or is it at all doable?
I think it depends on the carpet. If it’s low pile and not very shaggy, a rug can work!
It works, just avoid flat weaves.
It probably depends on the rug, but we have had great luck with this – enough so that we ended up not replacing some carpeting that we were planning to replace.
When you get new carpeting, consider closing the door and airing out the room for a couple weeks. Have him sleep somewhere else until the new carpet smell is gone. VOCs.
Is anyone wearing wedge heels anymore? Looking through my closet now that we are RTO. Who is tossing what?
I got rid of all my heels and wedges except for a pair of block heel sandals that I wear when “out” in the summer. If I ever have a jury trial again, I might get a pair of low block heels.
At first I read that last sentence as “If I ever get jury duty again, I might get a pair of low block heels.” and spent a solid 30 seconds wondering why jury duty called for low block heels.
Very good to keep a couple pairs for outdoor weddings in my opinion
+1 wedge sandals for outdoor weddings, graduations, etc are a classic.
Wedge pumps for work can hibernate for a while.
I have a pair that I’m gonna wear until they’re worn out. Idk, they look good with so many of my dresses that I don’t care that they aren’t the latest silhouette.
Sandals/espadrilles only. But I always found wedge heels to be precarious and unflattering with workwear.
Is anyone else trying to follow the Pieper Lewis case in Iowa? It grossed me out – how could the prosecutor offer a plea deal with 10 years in this situation? How could the girl’s lawyers recommend it? I don’t do criminal law and I’m not in Iowa- if anyone can enlighten me – I’m all ears.
This case horrifies me! I just googled it, and wow.
Has anyone bought denim from Evereve? Got the catalogue and it looked cute and age appropriate so I’m debating on ordering a bunch of new cuts of denim and trying my luck.Alternately, does anyone have any suggestions for straight jeans that can accomodate larger calves? Mine are ‘big’ relative to my size (26/27) and straight jeans don’t flow in a straight line from my knee, they go straight to the calf, then bulge around my calves, and go straight again which (imho) looks awful. Skinny jeans solved this issue as did flares but I’d prefer a ‘demi’ flare which seems hard to find (the madewell demi flares were definitely more flared than I liked).
I am a solid 30/ size 10 and am always that size at EverEve. I have very muscular legs and am happy with my jeans from there. I said this earlier in the thread and cringe a smidge about it, but I love my jeans from White House black market. The proportions are very good for my shape.
Moving into a new apartment which is up a flight of stairs (private) and thinking about framing and hanging quotes or photos or portraits of inspirational women who are activists or pioneers or otherwise inspirational as I ascend the stairs and as reminders as I leave to go back into the world. I am thinking maybe to buy from etsy so I can pay and print all locally and just do matching frames to tie it together.
Anyone have women you are inspired by or quotes that really resonate with you? (I am for sure including RBG and Marsha P. Johnson and probably a quote from bell hooks, if that helps you to think about the tone I’m aiming for.)
Thanks!
Ooh, you want to check out Karen Hallion on Etsy. She has everybody from RBG to Princess Leia.
As a NASA fan I’d choose Mae Jemison and Sally Ride.
Shirley Chisholm
Eleanor Roosevelt!
I would go for the closing line of “Some Like it Hot” as a reminder that feminism can be expressed with giggles.
I’m looking for a zip wallet I can put 7-8 cards and a couple bills in. The ones I tried at Madewell or places like MK, Kate Spade are just a touch too big, as I’m looking for the smallest size possible that would still fit those things. I saw one that would’ve been perfect a couple months back at the mall, and I regret not buying it then because I haven’t seen that again. Any recommendations?
Perhaps I should have used the word cardholder instead of wallet. I’m paring down my existing wallet for this.
Coach? The Wyn, Billfold, or Mini Skinny might meet your needs.
Will check those out, thanks!
I have this non-zip small wallet and love it: https://www.portlandleathergoods.com/products/mini-envelope-wallet?variant=39585984479314
They also have this one that I don’t have, but I love their other products: https://www.portlandleathergoods.com/products/small-zip-wallet?variant=39490539421778
beautiful! thanks
I didn’t get either of those, but I just got the round purse + accordion wallet from Portland Leather and am SUPER happy. I actually got the “almost perfect” versions and cannot tell why they aren’t sold as their full priced versions.
My favorite wallet that I got from a random amazon shop broke and I had to look for a replacement. I didn’t get the perfect wallet but found something close which is Coach Zip Card Case In Signature Canvas. I wanted one that would allow me attach a house key and car key and still fit into my pocket. I did want a zip because I don’t trust non-zips and time to time I do have to throw something loose into the wallet like broken earring, etc. I like that Coach Zip Card Case has a chain that can used to wear wallet as a wristlet.
I also really like the Athleta Wallet but it is too long to fit into back of a jean pocket.
oh no, she died!
Nooo! I’m so sad.
Sad. But more sad that we’re going to have to deal with King Charles now. I hate his nasty ass.
ME TOO! Every upthread is whining about how the Queen doesn’t deserve our respect but Charles is SO MUCH WORSE.
Her son being awful doesn’t make her suck less
No but it means you should be less gleeful about her dying, because her son inherits automatically and is worse.
IDK – I can’t imagine he’ll change much other than slim down the monarchy – Andrew will be more fully out of the picture for sure. It will be like the Nordic model where only the heir’s family are working royals.
20 years ago Charles would have been a problem. Now he knows he is just a placeholder for a decade or so until William takes over.
Why the hate? I admire that he is a lifelong environmentalist and The Prince’s Trust he founded in 1976 has helped the lives of over one million young people in the UK since it began.