Suit of the Week: Alaïa

134 Comments

1. I am completely obsessed with this suit.

   1. I’m watching Industry and I feel like either of the young analysts (Yasmin or Harper) would look amazing in this kind of thing, though it’s definitely more Yasmin’s style.

2. Paging jaw surgery from this morning:

   FWIW, my surgeon did not use wires, so there would be no removing of wires in case of vomiting. PLUS, if you get carsick, you may be prone to anesthesia-related vomiting, so ask in advance if they will give you Zofran or other anti-nausea meds. We also got sent home with anti-nausea meds. They really do not want you having to vomit!

   On day 2 (so you need someone to drive you), we had to go back to get a mouth check and for rubber bands to be put on (the orthodontic kind) that just come off once you are eating and for teeth brushing. There used to be wiring-shut of jaws, but no longer, but you may want to ask your surgeon.

   FINALLY, one of Kim Zolciak’s daughters had jaw surgery (in-patient, it looks like, ours was outpatient). You can google it and that amount of swelling was what we had. Her experience seems typical of the procedure.

   1. Zofran IN THE LINE before you wake up.

      for home make sure you get dissolving Zofran also called sublingual. faster working g by 20 minutes which matters a lot plus if you puke the anti puke, it is not helpful.

      good luck

      1. 1000% agree to ALL OF THIS re Zofran

      2. How do you convince them to do this? I have had very little success requesting specific accommodations or meds. I was throwing up while in labor and had to take the Zofran I’d brought from home because the hospital wouldn’t give me any.

         1. tell them you vomit. ask.for a nurse who listen. no one wants you vomiting including you but also dr

   2. That was me! Thank you so much for the info. The “wiring shut” thing really freaks me out. I have anxiety and I’m almost certain it would give me a panic attack. I have not been back to an orthodontist or surgeon since I got my braces off a few years ago, but I’m thinking about scheduling an appointment. Just a little scared. The idea that they may not wire my jaw shut though gives me confidence to make that first step. I have had two other surgeries that required anesthesia (appendectomy as an adult, and tonsillectomy, which I was in my late teens for) and don’t remember having nausea as a symptom so hopefully that means I am not prone to vomiting.

      1. I wasn’t wired either and I stayed overnight in the hospital because I lived too far away from where the surgery was performed. It was totally worth it.

         1. I love to hear that it was worth it! Thank you for chiming in.

   3. I had jaw surgery as a teen, 30ish years ago. It was in-patient for 3 days in the hospital, due to some complications. Swelling & bruising was pretty intense, but passed quickly. I did have my jaw wired shut, per practice at the time. I carried emergency pliers around with me in case of vomiting, but never needed them. I am so happy that I had it done, as I had a severe underbite. However, I do have scar tissue in my mouth from the incisions and my jaw really feels the cold after a while. I would totally do it again, though!

3. What brands do you all search for on The RealReal for good discounts? I love Ulla Johnson and Ganni, but those are still pretty steep. Looking for dresses to wear to several events this fall (mostly cocktail hours/ fundraisers/ etc.) and like midi length. Thanks!

   1. Akris, Rag & Bone, and Lafayette 148 are the brands I keep finding myself drawn to on TRR. Definitely out of my price range new!

      1. Oh, but I’m mostly looking for work clothes. Alice & Olivia for not work clothes.

   2. L’Agence for blouses. I still really like Tory Burch and LK Bennett for work dresses.

   3. Mostly handbags. My clothing isn’t designer so I’m more likely to go to eBay or Poshmark. (Eileen Fisher, Lafayette, MM LaFleur.)

4. Darn I put this on the wrong post and didn’t copy before I hit submit, I’ll try to summarize:

   Debating on whether to pull the trigger on a house. It’s in a great neighborhood, well maintained, big lot. But the kitchen, baths, laundry area are super tiny and there doesn’t seem to be an easy way to expand them without moving plumbing, windows, doors, etc. The kitchen and baths have expensive updates that will probably need to be ripped out – like your brand new steam shower is lovely but if I wanted a single vanity and a shower stall I would live in the city, I want my big beautiful master bath with lots of storage. The price is listed as if it’s turnkey. It’s still in budget (barely) and it would be tough to find anything else in this area at this price, though it’s on the smaller side for the neighborhood. Inventory is nonexistent, but we haven’t been looking that long. It’s hard to put this much money on something you’re not completely and unreservedly in love with. Wwyd?

   1. I’d buy it. Ginormous kitchens and bathrooms photograph well, but I’ve hated them when I lived in them. Small and well-designed > big, pretty and useless space. If you don’t want it, I’ll happily take it.

      1. Agree. Don’t tell my husband, but I sometimes really, really miss the shitty 8 x 8 kitchen in our doublewide over the giant one we have now.

      2. That makes me feel better about my relatively small kitchen in my old house. The kitchens were for staff, so no need to make them spacious and airy, right?

         I feel like 90% of other owners of homes like mine would have torn out the butler’s stairs, maid’s bedroom, the laundry porch, and the giant pantry to make a giant kitchen with seating & all that, but I can’t bear to change the house. We still use all of those areas for their named purposes (except we have neither a butler nor a maid – my husband uses the maid’s room as his office/music room.)

   2. I am stuck in a house with undersized kitchen, bathrooms, and laundry closet and recommend strongly against it. I live in fear of the day our washer and dryer need to be replaced because last time around there was exactly one model available that fit in the closet, and even then just barely. My husband drives me crazy by trying to empty the dishwasher while I am cooking because only one person fits in the kitchen. I have nowhere to store anything in the bathroom. Etc. etc.

   3. Everyone always says choose the location because everything else can be changed… and I’m in the minority that don’t agree. I would compromise on location to get the house and layout I want. I simply don’t have the money, time, and energy to do big renovations. All the things that people say can change, don’t, for me. So I would sit this one out if this was my house hunt.

   4. I don’t think it’s the house for you.

   5. I would pass unless there was a pressing need to move. The type of repairs you’re describing are more than cosmetic, and will be extremely expensive (and its already top of your budget) and time consuming. Neighborhood is super important and so is the lot, but you haven’t been looking long so I would continue looking. Neighborhood, lot and SIZE are all three that I considered nonnegotiable when looking. I had no interest in overseeing an addition to any house but was fine with cosmetic repairs.

   6. Having a functional kitchen, laundry, and bath all sounds turnkey. It may not be your dream, but a steam shower seems luxurious to me! I doubt you will find a house you love unequivocally but if you’re not sure you want to live there then it makes sense to hold off.

   7. What market is this?

      Personally in my market I wouldn’t – prices are still falling so why buy something right now while prices haven’t totally fallen as some sellers still think they can get last years prices AND you have to pay reno costs which aren’t as bad as last year but pretty high still. I know inventory is an issue because everyone says those locked in at 3% will never sell but they eventually will because life happens and people want to retire to the beach or need more room for the 4th kid they weren’t expecting or their current remote only job says they must move across the country. At least here in DC there are people who are in those types of life stages.

      1. Ha, we refi’d at 3% and are never moving mostly because housing prices in the last 10 years went up an INSANE amount in our area. We have a big lot and room to expand so we’re committed to updating the baths/kitchen as needed.
         That being said – I have now gut reno’d 3.5 baths and a laundry room. Moving plumbing is by FAR the most insanely expensive piece (only did it once) and I would not recommend. Also, fwiw, the flippers who did my addition in the 90s did totally shoddy work behind the walls so I shudder when I see ‘newly renovated’ homes unless I can tell it is custom well done stuff. If it looks like it’s home depot or builder grade I’d pass.

   8. Since the things you want sound like they exist in a lot of other houses, I would pass. This just isn’t the house for you and that’s okay.

   9. I’d pass and look longer unless you need to absolutely need to move now. If you’re going to buy a house, you should love it, or see how you could love it easily.

   10. This describes my house well. I am happy with my choice to buy, but ONLY because the price was very low and I have been able to save tons of money over the years. I would be very unhappy if I was at the top of my budget, because I would be stuck with all these issues.

   11. well, it IS turnkey, just for someone who doesn’t have your goal on large rooms.

       If it’s at the top of your budget but you can’t picture yourself living in it as-is, move on. FWIW we live in a city and have correspondingly small spaces – we can barely both fit in the kitchen at once! – but have excellent storage and so don’t mind the efficient layout.

   12. oh man I forgot about the hidden 3ll3n. Reposting.

       well, it IS turnkey, just for someone who doesn’t have your goal on large rooms.

       If it’s at the top of your budget but you can’t picture yourself living in it as-is, move on. FWIW we live in a city and have correspondingly small spaces – we can barely both fit in the kitchen at once! – but have exc3ll3nt storage and so don’t mind the efficient layout.

   13. Is it a historic house or just your average McSuburb?

       1. It’s not a historic house. Was built in the 80s, so your average suburban house. My realtor is probably confused because I was willing to do extensive renos on historic houses we’ve looked at but there’s a huge upside that’s just not present in this house.

          Thanks for the advice so far, everyone!

   14. I have an absurdly tiny bathroom and a pretty small kitchen and I do not mind in the least — this isn’t the house for you given that you feel like they’d need to all be renovated. I’d move on in your shoes.

       1. My bathrooms are 5X7 and I thought I’d hate them, but I really don’t. There is not much space in my house, and I’m thankful that it’s not wasted on extra bathroom space.
          I’d like to move my kitchen wall by 2 feet to make it a true galley kitchen- it would shrink the size, but the ergonomics would improve tremendously.

   15. If it was 2020 or 2021 market, I’d lean toward recommending you buy it.

       But since its 2022 and things have cooled off a bit and you haven’t been looking very long anyway, I wouldn’t buy it. Especially if large kitchens and baths are common in your market and price range, but just aren’t available in this house. Your comment about living in the city makes me think that this house is an abnormality in it’s size kitchen and baths, and I definitely agree that’s a fair thing to not want to compromise to super tiny on.

   16. Can you find what you want within budget? That’s really your question.

       It is a turnkey house – the fact that you personally don’t like the updates doesn’t mean it hasn’t been updated.

   17. I would pass on this house. This sounds like this is a finished, upgraded house at the top of your budget, and you don’t see yourselves functioning in some of the key spaces. Extensive renovations to a finished, upgraded space don’t make financial sense, and you can’t afford them anyways. (After you look a while longer, you may conclude that you need to compromise on something on your list.)

       There are no easy answers, though. My DH is still disappointed that I vetoed an otherwise great house where the kitchen and laundry were not functional. It’s been almost 4 years, and he still thinks we could have made it work. We drive by the house almost everyday, so it comes up every now and then.

       1. siting in my old house, 22 years in and lots more to do!

   18. I want to caution you on the “it’s hard to put this much money on something you’re not completely and unreservedly in love with” comment…. I don’t know what market you’re in, but if it’s competitive at all, you’re probably going to end up with a house you’re not unreservedly in love with.

       We made a lot of offers before getting a house. We admittedly LOVED the first one (cried when we didn’t get it), LOVED the second one (also cried) and then the rest were basically good enough and had enough features we weren’t willing to compromise on. Eventually, we got one. And, to take it a step further, I still really dislike a LOT about my first house. But we also made a boatload of money on it in a relatively short amount of time due to market appreciation, and it will forever be the best investment we made.

       So, this may not be the one for you, but you should start to figure out what you can compromise on / be ok with not loving, and what items in a house you refuse to not be unreservedly in love with.

   19. I just reread your post because I’m having trouble understanding the scenario. It sounds like you are dead-set on this neighborhood. You have a budget. This house is at the absolute top of your budget. It will be hard to find anything else in your budget in the neighborhood, which makes it sound like you’re stretching to get into it. So yes, at some point, something is going to have to give.

       Size/price/location are basically the three levers you have to pull when it comes to buying a house. If you’re not willing to compromise on price or location, then you’ll have to accept a smaller size. If you are, and size is more important to you than either of those factors, then find something else in a different area, or adjust your budget.

5. swoon over Alaia, always!

6. I’m on day 7 of covid, feeling almost back to normal, but still tested positive on a rapid test this morning. Would you go to the grocery store today? In a KN95 mask, obviously. The CDC says its fine to stop isolating after day 5 if you wear a mask and haven’t had a fever in 24 hours (check) but do we know if that’s because the chances of spreading covid after day 5 with a mask are genuinely very low or because the CDC gave in to pressure from companies for people to go back to work? Not trying to stir the pot here, I just really am going stir crazy and am almost out of food.

   1. I wouldn’t go, but most people would and I always assume there are contagious people without masks everywhere.

      Can’t you do delivery or masked curbside pickup?

   2. Can you do curbside pickup? You still get out of the house for a bit but doesn’t put anyone else at risk.

   3. I would avoid going into the grocery store, but would do outside pick up since that’s pretty low contact.

   4. CDC gave in to pressure; people can be substantially contagious past the five days according to international research.

      A real mask like a KN95 helps a lot though. If you could count on vulnerable people to be wearing one too, I wouldn’t worry about a quick grocery trip.

      Unfortunately older people near me are often totally unmasked, so I would probably pay for delivery to play it safe. (I also try to rest more than I think I should when I’m at the “almost back to normal” stage of any virus, since overdoing it seems to cause relapses for me, so that would help me justify delivery.)

   5. Why wait — can’t you just get grocery delivery? Are you wearing a good mask with a truly good seal (versus a flimsy mask without a good seal to your face)?
      I hear you about going stir crazy, but 9 times out of 10, people think they are wearing the mask properly but it isn’t sealed correctly keeping your contents in.

      1. Yea I wouldn’t go food shopping because there is a decent alternative if things like Instacart are available to you. I had covid and didn’t leave the apartment until I tested negative even at day 8. It’s not worth the risk of passing it along to someone who is high risk. Of course people do go out in your position but do you really want to be that A S S?

   6. If you don’t have access to delivery, I would go.

   7. I think it’s fine to go to the grocery store in a mask. Odds are pretty low you’re contagious at this point, and even if you are a mask will likely stop transmission to others for such a brief contact.

      I dug into the research a lot when my husband had Covid recently. He had a very mild case and was fully recovered by day 5 but continued testing positive until day 13 (!). After day 8 or so the positive line was incredibly faint but we could still see it. Basically the research says there’s a pretty decent chance you could have live, culturable virus on day 5 if you’re still testing positive, but it goes down significantly each day thereafter, and there’s essentially no chance after day 10 regardless of whether or not you’re still positive. I think ending strict isolation on day 5 makes sense, assuming you mask when you go in public until day 10 (or a negative test, whichever comes sooner). Because it’s not possible to mask 24/7 at home, we decided to keep my DH isolated until day 10. None of us got it. I had a friend who ended all protocols on day 5 and his partner tested positive on Day 9, which with Omicron’s short incubation period means it seems pretty likely he infected his partner after ending his isolation. So that made me very paranoid. But the risk calculus for going to the grocery store is obviously very different than for living with someone.

      1. Your “science” also studied a variant that wasn’t as virulent. That aside, why would anyone ever go to a public indoor space with a hugely transmissible virus that has potential to give folks life-altering chronic illness solely for….what? Because waiting a few more days was more of a hassle than curbside pickup or home delivery. Good grief.

         1. Not sure why you put science in quotes, because it is in fact science. And some of the studies I found were about Omicron actually. I agree there isn’t a need to go to the store if you can get delivery, but the odds of infecting someone in brief encounter while wearing a high quality mask are very low. Even in the Omicron era most transmission has involved maskless contact or very sustained contact (families, schools, workplaces, etc.)

   8. We have a neighborhood list and people who’d be happy to pick up grocery items for anyone shut in on quarantine. If you can’t call a friend, call delivery.

   9. My high risk self begs you not to go to the grocery store if you are still testing positive. There is no doubt whatsoever that the CDC gave into pressure from companies, in particular the airlines, in forming their back to work policies for post Covid patients. Delivery for food. A solitary walk away from people while masked to get your stir crazy out.

      1. This was 100% a political decision and not a science one.

   10. Delivery or curbside pickup.

   11. No

7. thoughts on the Obamas portraits. I have zero expertise on what presidential portraits and first lady portraits typically look like, but i find hers beautiful, but a bit revealing. do the first ladies usually have their portraits done in evening wear? and if so, why? his looks so much like a photo, it’s almost hard to believe it’s a painting.

   1. The First Lady portraits are often in evening wear (although not always). You can see them all at: https://www.whitehousehistory.org/galleries/first-lady-portraits

      How revealing they are tends to vary a lot depending on the fashion of the era (check out Dolly Madison) and the age and personality of the individual.

      1. Does anyone know what the book is in Hillary Clinton’s portrait?

         1. Her book, It Takes a Village.

      2. Rachel Jackson is so pretty (2022 standards at least)! I am so used to seeing her husband in my wallet.

         1. She looks like the actress who played Brenda on Six Feet Under.

         2. Of course she was – that’s why her husband married her despite her being married to someone else…..

            1. Wasn’t he missing or something? No Find My Husband feature on the iPhones of yore.

         3. I noticed the same thing! Stunning.

      3. OMG Woodrow Wilson’s daughter looks just like him.

      4. There are two with dogs. My dog is a hot mess, but I might like him in my picture. Not crazy about Eleanor Roosevelt’s (even though I knit) — it reminds me of those multi-pose Olan Mills and school picture thingies.

      5. It’s interesting how they start as paintings, briefly switch to photographs and then go back to paintings. I guess people were excited about the newfangled photography thing when it first started?

      6. I was really most surprised at how often the role of hostess/first lady was filled by a daughter or a daughter in law or a niece. Seems like a lot of presidents’ wives died early.

   2. I have zero eye for art so I think both look fine. I do think his looks like a photograph. Hearing them speak though wow you forget how charming they are and how when they speak you feel anything is possible even for a moment.

      1. Every time I hear either of the Obama’s speak I have this reaction; I miss them a lot.

         1. I miss them too!!

   3. Look up Kehinde Wiley and you will learn all about why the portrait is so realistic and why the artist was selected. If you find that interesting then look up Kehinde Wiley’s sculpture Rumors of War, which graces my hometown.

      1. That was for the National Portrait Gallery at the Smithsonian. These new ones unveiled today are to hang in the halls of The White House. President Obama’s artist was Robert McCurdy.

      2. But this isn’t the Wiley portrait, as much as I love that one.

         As to OP, I think both portraits are fantastic, and no issue with Michelle in evening wear (or seeing her bare shoulders/arms). It seems both flattering and commensurate with at least one of her duties in that role.

   4. No more revealing than Julia Tyler, Florence Cleveland or Helen Taft.

      1. Dolly Madison though — maybe corsets make people look like that but hers is very cleavage-forward

   5. If I had the arm tone Michelle Obama boasts I would show off too. My breath caught when I saw her portrait. A softer look for her perhaps but gorgeous! I also love her portrait by Amy Sherald.

   6. Are we looking at the same portrait? Michelle in the blue dress? What is revealed – her shoulders? Her arms?

      1. That was my thought, too!!

         Maybe the OP has a time machine? If so, I’d love to know how!

      2. I love the portrait and think Michelle is beyond gorgeous, but it’s pretty obvious OP is talking about the cleavage,

         1. Honestly I don’t even see cleavage. You have to really hate MO for other reasons to look for something so minor. And that says more about OP than it does about MO or the artist who did her portrait.

            1. Like I said, I love Michelle and I see the cleavage. I think it’s really weird to say you have to “hate” someone to notice their cleavage in a picture. I don’t think it’s inappropriate but I’m not blind and the portrait has prominent cleavage.

   7. I love her’s! I want that dress and somewhere to wear it. I’m not as much of a fan of his just because it does look so much like a photograph. It’s obviously well done, it’s just very stark with the white background.

   8. I thought they already unveiled their official portraits? What were the first set of portraits for?

   9. I maybe like her portrait in the white dress more, that’s more the kind of art I enjoy, but I think this new portrait probably looks very powerful and luminous when you’re standing 5 feet away from it.

      Her gaze is very interesting in this new one, and I would guess that standing before it, you’ll feel like your part of an in-joke with her, due to the warm and humorous gaze.

      I don’t think it’s revealing.

   10. Oooh I love hers! Gorgeous in every way. And for a jump across the political spectrum I actually think Nancy Reagan hit it out of the park with her portrait. Striking and elegant. I love that Eleanor R had hers done with book and a pen in her grasp.

8. I finally got a digital picture frame, loaded tons of vacation and other happy photos on it, and put it on my desk just behind my computer. It has made such a difference in my mood! Now I always have a nice picture to look at that immediately brings up a pleasant memory. For anyone who has been having mood struggles lately, I highly recommend getting a digital picture frame and loading it with your favorite photos from vacation or other happy times.

   1. I agree!

      it is also the most wonderful gift for your parents/grandparents. It literally gave my father reasons to live and smiles during a long hospitalization.

9. Pantsuit vicarious shopping: I am tired, and want to adopt a fall uniform. I love the idea of getting 3 pantsuits, two black and one other color (probably a jewel tone? Not navy, not pastel, I am open to a not-gaudy print). I’d probably buy 2 black pants and one black blazer. I am 5’6 and size 4.

   I can’t afford even close to the suit pictured, but I could swing $1000 total. Willing to stalk sales this month. Nothing at Ann Taylor or Mm La Fleur is singing to me. Wants:

   Blazer needs to close and have at least two real pockets. Don’t care if it is double or single breasted, don’t care about lapels as long as it isn’t 1970s large.

   Pants need to be high waist (c section tummy feels best this way!), full length (not ankle or cropped), strong preference for real pocket or pockets. Straight or slight boot cut fit. Machine washable is a plus, or at least a fabric that can handle some spot cleaning and I don’t have to dry clean after every wear. I can’t wear a super stretchy fabric so no yoga pant-suit pants for me, but I also don’t want to need to starch them! Amazing would be something I can wear on a 2 hour flight without looking super rumpled or tugging/pulling out of discomfort.

   I need a suit 2 days a week so I’m thinking this rotation plus my navy skirt suit would get me through without much thinking.

   1. Banana Republic currently has a suit in dark green, look at the “Sculpted Wool jacket” and the Lido straight pants.

   2. I really recommend the pants at Uniqlo. They’re comfy, machine washable, reasonably priced and wear well. Not the most stylish pair by any means but they are often my uniform in the fall/winter. I’m 5’4 and the “ankle pants” are regular (non-ankle) length on me.

      1. I’d also look at the suits at Talbots – lots of mix and match options. Most have high waist available.

         1. Agree about Talbot’s. Hope for a sale. You should be able to get 25% off min.

10. I have another speaker outfit request jumping off the post from a few days ago – this will also be my first time on a panel in person! It’a a tech event and our industry typically has very very casual dress codes. I will be on a panel at an industry event with lots of leadership folks attending, fall, in a big city. I’m a size 14ish pear and really hate sitting down in pants. No mic pack, just handhelds, and there is a chance we are just on barstools. I was thinking a long patterned shirt dress, with knee high boots, but would appreciate any and all ideas. Thank you!

    1. I’ve honestly never noticed if sitting down highlights flaws. I have a huge belly and boobs (16p apple) and would prefer to sit in pants lest the up-skirt look happen, especially in the kind of spanx I’d be wearing with a dress. Dark tights for sure if you do it. Or maybe a midi dress? Lots of longer cute polo sweater dresses now.

       What about a pants look with an open shirt dress or sweater dress? I just ordered one from old navy. Especially in a colorful monotone like navy or dark green it would be stylish but casual.

       Or jeans plus a boyfriend blazer?

11. On a travel thread yesterday someone said if you land at Newark at 3 pm, no way you’re getting to your car or connecting flight by 6 pm because customs takes hours without global entry. Is this a new thing because everyone is short staffed as half of every shift is out sick? Or is this an EWR thing?

    Granted I’ve been out of the country about 3 times in the last 15 years and each time I breezed back in in 10 or 20 min max. Once it was in Philadelphia and twice at JFK. Many of those travels where thanksgiving weekend though when I suspect most Americans aren’t returning from abroad.

    Is the new normal for customs 3-5 hours? Fall Europe trip planned, no global entry because I travel so little, and no way to get it now as there are literally no appointments within ten hours of me. Just trying to figure out how late I should book my connecting flight to my city after landing at Newark.

    1. At Newark I’m typically through to my Uber with my checked luggage in 2 hours.

    2. Depends on the day and how many flights come in at the same time. Friends who flew through Miami last month without Global Entry said it took 3+ hours and they had to change their connecting flight.

    3. Oh – look into Global Entry interviewing on arrival. If they still do it, you can interview on the spot when you reenter the country.

    4. I haven’t been through customs post-pandemic, but my customs tip is download CBP’s Mobile Passport Control app ahead of time; JFK has a separate line if you’re using the app and it’s much faster.

    5. That was me who said that. I said if you land at 4 pm (which I thought OP said was when their flight landed), there’s no way you’re getting to your car at 6. Customs isn’t the only factor in that, I was also including time on airport transit to the economy lot or wherever you’ve parked. I’m not super familiar with parking at EWR but at many airports that can easily add 30-45 minutes. Pre-pandemic, I would say it was rare for customs to take more than 2 hours, but it wasn’t unheard of? We waited almost 3 hours at ORD in May 2016. But yes, it seems especially bad now. Not sure if it’s Newark specific? This summer we’ve cleared customs at ORD once and EWR once, and ORD seemed like a much shorter line but it was also March so a much less busy time of year for international travel. The line at Newark when we landed from a trip to Spain in July was almost literally a mile long. There were people begging the staff to let them go ahead in line because they had tight connections and they were being told no. We asked an airport employee how long it was going to take from the end of the line and he said probably 3-4 hours. It was literally 5 minutes with Global Entry (excluding the walk to the head of the line, which took us 20-25 minutes with a small child). I can’t emphasize enough how worth it Global Entry is, even if you travel internationally rarely.

    6. I went through customs in December 2021 at EWR in 15 minutes bc we had the mobile app and info up and ready to go. There was no
       line and we did not have global entry.

       Anything is possible (in both directions).

       1. *no line for mobile. The paper line looked atrocious

12. If you’re in the 200k income range so ideally 250k or lower – what is your yearly travel and vacation budget in normal non pandemic years? How do you divide it up? Is it many long weekends in the US or would you rather splurge on one 2 week trip overseas etc?

    1. This year I’m spending 15k on a 10 day overseas trip and hopefully around 3k on a domestic week away and 3k on random weekends, typically three or 4.

    2. Following! I try to save $700 per month for vacations but could do more.

    3. Pre-kids, when our combined income was about $250k we typically spent between $7-$9k on travel a year. What was very true then (and I see this with my younger coworkers now) was that our ‘vacation’ was often heavily dictated by the weddings, family reunions, etc. that we would be attending – at least 7-10 days of vacation every year in my 20s seemed to be dictated by this stuff. I’ve also worked for big companies with big corporate travel perks for a long time so even when I wasn’t making as much my hotel fees would be heavily, heavily subsidized – for example at my first Big 4 the corporate rate at 4/5 star hotels in major cities would be between $150-$250/night circa 2010, and are (last I checked) still often under $300/night in major cities. I would also often extend my international travel into long weekends – so work in Berlin M-Th and then fly home late Sunday or Monday. There are lots of downsides to consulting but the travel perks when you’re able to take advantage sure aren’t one of them.

       1. Wait, can you explain this to me? How did you get the corporate rate when traveling for personal reasons? Is there some perk I’m not aware of?

          1. I would also like to know.

          2. Just ask. Almost always a person on the phone will give you whatever deal they can. It’s no skin off their nose and they hope you’ll be a more loyal customer in the future.

    4. Most years about $3000 so we can do the occasional splurge.

    5. Our travel budget is kind of insane relative to our income level. We own a modest but nice home outright in a LCOL area, max out our retirement contributions, contribute to a college fund and pretty much put the rest towards travel. Our HHI is $170k and this year we spent almost $30k on travel for our family of three. That was two weeklong trips to Europe, one weeklong trip to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico, two US/Caribbean trips where we had flight costs but no hotel costs (one trip where my parents paid hotel costs and one trip where we stayed with family) and an assortment of long weekends in the US, which were mostly to visit friends or family. I expect our travel spending to increase even further when we’re done paying for a daycare in a couple of years. It’s a lot, but it brings us so much joy and priceless memories. I would much rather have all this travel than fancy stuff like a big house, new cars or designer clothes. I also have a bit of a YOLO attitude post Covid. My kid’s childhood is going by way too fast, and who knows when the next variant is coming to put us all back in lockdown again. I would rather make memories now when we can even if it means having a slightly less robust nest egg in retirement. My thinking on this has changed a lot in the last two years.

       1. This sounds amazing and is my goal! I have a small, modest house in a place I love and instead of doing major upgrades want to spend extra funds on travel.

    6. I just did a quick review on Mint and our travel spending was higher than I realized – almost $17k. Although to be fair, the “Travel” category in Mint also includes Uber/Lyft so I think that pushes it up slightly, and we’ve already made a $3k deposit for a trip happening next year. Our HHI is ~$230k. Similar to the poster who spends $30k/year on travel, it is one of our favorite things to do as a couple and brings us so much joy and so much to look forward to. My parents think we’re absolutely insane! But over the last year, we’ve been on two trips to Europe (one weeklong, one almost two weeks), 10 days in Costa Rica, and domestically we’ve had 6+ long weekends across the country and within our state.

    7. I don’t have a budget, but I’d say I spend $5k-$10k a year. I almost always go in a shoulder season (no kids) and do one domestic week usually to a National Park area and one international week and then some long weekends if I need to burn PTO. I travel budget style, no frills. I lived in a van on an air mattress driving up the Oregon coast, for example.

       1. Spending $10k/year on travel for one person does not seem “budget style” to me at all. If you were talking about a family of 4, it would be a different story.

          1. It might be for that number of flights, though.

          2. And I honestly don’t keep track so I am guesstimating. I would be shocked if I had a solid year where I spent $10k but when I was adding up international flights in my head and rental cars, I thought maybe it could have gotten there one year prepandemic when I also did an international Thanksgiving trip to Bermuda?

          3. Eh your cost per person is super high as a solo traveler, it’s not as if a $10k trip for a family of four means a solo can take the same trip for $2500. Accommodations are the biggest line item other than flights. I’ve stayed in a lot of places, esp airbnbs, as a single woman that would be doable for a couple and two kids. Similar with rental cars – maybe you need a bit bigger car to fit everyone’s luggage but it’s not 4x the cost of the car I rent for myself.

13. Anyone with advice to spare on no/low -buy/spend periods (and/or general budgeting)?

    I think I have all my collection-agency-debt on payment plans (I thought that earlier this year and they cancelled the plans without telling me, so I’ve redone them, but not all have started). I’d like to pay off as much of my CC as possible (especially the store cards!) and save a little rather than raiding my savings for monthly expenses.

    reposting as suggested :)

    1. I like meal planning and cooking, so YMMV. I like going through my freezer and pantry and plan meals around using up odds and fancy spices and special ingredients. This scratches the itch of indulgence and novelty for me, but on a home cooking budget.

    2. I’m considering doing a low buy or a no buy in the next few months. I have done no buy months before, and they’re really helpful for me.

       The biggest tip if you’re going to do it is to make specific rules. Instead of saying, “I won’t buy anything this month!” Say, “I won’t buy clothes, candles, or coffee out this month. I can buy whatever food product I want at the grocery store. I will only buy replacement skincare if I completely run out of all types of that product.”

       There’s a YouTuber named Hannah Louise Poston who did a no buy year in either 2018 or 2017. She’s got a lot of great content about it. Her vices were “beautiful things” and make up/ skincare.

    3. It depends on why you got into debt in the first place. But as someone who has really had to curtail spending, my #1 piece of advice is to replace your habits. If you shop online when you’re bored, find something free to do when you’re bored. If you spend money to treat yourself or reward yourself, find free (or almost free) things that feel indulgent. If you spend money on eating out, make meal plans and have backup plans in the freezer. If you spend money at happy hour with friends, get in the habit of ordering a club soda, and ask your friends to meet you out for free activities.

       Take a good look at your largest expenses. Depending on where you live and what your needs are, getting a cheaper apartment, getting a roommate, selling a car, getting a job that offers health insurance, etc., will have a bigger impact on your budget than cutting things down.

       That said, tips on trimming the budget, if you’re not already doing these things:
       – Develop hobbies that are free or cheap. Get a library card.
       – Find a low cost workout routine. Walk or run outside if it’s safe, or find workout videos on YouTube, or maybe get a discounted subscription for a few months. (You could probably get free or heavily discounted workout video subscriptions for a year by rotating through 3-4 platforms.)
       – Adopt a policy that you can only buy new shampoo, face cream, makeup, etc. when you’ve used up or thrown away an old one.
       – Go for a low maintenance look. No professional pedicures, manicures. No hair coloring. Get your haircuts at a reasonably priced salon. Adopt a style that just needs a trim every few months.
       – Marie Kondo your closet. It seems strange to get rid of stuff when you’re trying to buy less, but it helps to have your space include only things you love.
       – Review your credit card bills for recurring charges. Cancel everything you can.
       – Have one streaming subscription at a time (if you must). Cycle through them if you’re used to having several.
       – If/when you do need something, check FB Marketplace and thrift stores before buying new. But only go looking when you actually need something (see above).
       – When you meal plan, check your refrigerator and freezer first. I make a goal of using something random (i.e., I can’t remember why I bought this and have no active plans for it) from the freezer or the pantry each day of the week. Bonus if I can do one of each.
       – Save veggie scraps, cheese rinds, and (if you’re a meat eater) bones for stock and make your own.
       – Reduce the number of separate cleaning products you use (baking soda, vinegar, liquid dish soap, and a disinfectant will take care of almost everything). Use powdered dish soap and laundry detergent instead of pods.

       1. Love the using one random thing from the pantry/freezer every day goal – stealing that one.

          The Danish Royal family’s Housekeeping Matron has been interviewed about the best way to clean the castle bathrooms – she uses a mix of dish soap and vinegar.

       2. I agree with all of these suggestions except the last for powdered dish soap. That I cannot abide.
          For me, I have gone overboard on spending because I have been disorganized. I have everything I need in spades but sometimes buy more because I don’t know where things are. Getting really organized, with like items together, has helped me realize what I already have and do not need to buy more of. If this is you, I would encourage you to spend time you’d spend scroll-shopping doing some home organization (and culling as suggested, too).

    4. There has been some books recs for this earlier this week as well, I think the most fun no-spend book I’ve read is the UK one called “The No Spend Year” by Michelle McGah, a journalist in London. It’s funny and creative.

       She’s made a TED talk that’s available on youtube, so you can have a look and see if she resonates.

    5. Take a good inventory of what you have, organize it and use it – clothes, food, kitchen stuff, yard equipment, sports gear, etc. It’s so easy to buy more stuff when you’re not sure of what you already have.
       Get a library card and use it – most libraries have tons of streaming options, too.

14. For anyone who loves HRC, and is interested in Huma Abedin (as a fellow South Asian I was always SO curious, and ADORED her Vogue cover), I highly recommend Huma Abedin’s memoir. Yes, of course Abedin writes about Weiner and his indiscretions…but what really stands out is a) What an excellent, sincere, faith-driven person/public servant Huma is, and b) What a great boss/human Hillary is (which tracks with what I’ve seen and heard from people close to her).

    1. I love HRC so I’d consider reading it!

15. What do you do when you are feeling unmotivated at work?

    There are some big changes happening that are likely to affect how flexible my role is (a deal breaker for me due to other responsibilities). These changes are coming in the next three to six months. I have started looking for a new role and just got rejected by a “dream employer”. I am feeling unmotivated and my work is feeling meaningless due to a lack of audience. How do I snap out of this?

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