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Updated: Mar 4, 2022 218 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Mock-Neck Button-Shoulder Fit-and-Flare Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | ·

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A woman wearing a green dress and black sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

If you’re trying to liven up your wardrobe on a budget, Nordstrom Rack has SO many dresses for $50 or less right now.

This fit-and-flare number from Donna Morgan has a cute button accent on the shoulder and a super-flattering flared skirt. In addition to this beautiful “evergreen” color, it comes in blue sapphire, marigold, scarlet red, navy, and electric pink.

The dress is $46.97 at Nordstrom Rack and comes in sizes 0–12. A very similar dress from Donna Morgan is available in sizes 14–24 at Amazon for $93 and up.

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Sales of note for 9.16.24

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

    • PolyD

      I did better with single dose than tri-phasic. With the tri-phasic pills, I would get ridiculously depressed during the last week. I don’t remember the exact science behind I’d, but varying levels of hormones can mess with your mood.

      Not very specific, but maybe it’s a little helpful.

    • Anon

      Even after several years with pills I had trouble with nausea at the beginning of each pack, but I’ve been on the nuvaring for 15 years with no issues.

    • roxie

      Yaz, about 10-15 years ago. Gave me insane panic attacks, heart palpitations, and more. Once I realized that was what was causing it I stopped mid cycle, to my doctor’s chagrin, but could not in good conscience continue.

      It did make my skin absolutely glow though. (still not worth it).

      I later tried an IUD and has immediate unrelenting insomnia. Took it out 10 days later. Fortunately I chose a man who does his part and got a vasectomy.

      • Anon

        OMG Yaz. The absolute worst. I actually forgot the name of it until I read this just now. The worst GI problems I’ve ever had, and I’m pretty sure all my GI problems to this day can be traced back to Yaz.

      • PolyD

        I’ll add, once I found that monophasics worked better for me, I looooved the Pill. I had a little nausea the very first time I took them, but never after that, even when changing types. I took them in the morning, usually after I ate breakfast. No weight gain that I can blame on the Pill, it made my period symptoms much, much better (much lighter flow, less pain, less moodiness), and it was so nice to know when my period would happen. Plus I would fiddle with the timing a bit when I wanted to make sure I didn’t have a period for travel or whatever, with no ill effects.

        I would have stayed on those things forever, but my gynecologist took me off when I was about 51 because my blood pressure was going up. Not entirely sure it was related to the Pill, but it wasn’t terrible going off the Pill, either.

    • Anon

      Worst – Nuvaring. Always found it in weird places the next morning.
      Best – Mirena. Minimal spotting in the first few months, then 7 years period free.

        • Pompom

          Same. The pill for almost 15 years did a number on my mental and emotional health. I’m so glad it works for so many people, but it didn’t work for me.

          Mirena has been fantastic (so far).

      • anon

        For real. I’m so glad they work for so many people, but I have had a rough time and we defaulted to condoms for many years because I was having such a bad experience. Unfortunately, it also means that I don’t have great options for other health issues, like endometriosis.

    • Anon

      I kicked it old school with a diaphragm, and then a tubal ligation when I was well and truly done. I never met a pill that didn’t give me migraines.

    • Seventh Sister

      Ortho Tri-cylin worst, Yaz was the best. Mirena was fine, but the Paraguard has been even better tbh (I don’t have hugely heavy cycles).

    • Z

      I have been using Larissia for the last 7 years. It was the first pill the gyn at my college’s health center prescribed me, and the only negative side effect has been lowered libido. Skin cleared up, period got lighter, I’m very happy with it.

    • Anon

      Best: LoEstrin 1/20. Low dose, take in morning on an empty stomach – no nausea at all. Take it continuously (no periods for me!). Has done wonders for my skin, used to have horrible cramping – no more of that.

      I’d look to low dose pills if you’re having issues otherwise.

      Hated: NuvaRing – could feel it, was weird, and still had cramping and spotting. And I broke out like crazy.

    • Anon

      Yasmin was the worst. I had such bad mood swings. Every month I’d launch into a furious uncontrollable rage, and it led to the end of my relationship at the time. I figured out after changing pills that the hormones were causing my emotional outbursts.

      Favorite is Lybrel (Amethyst is the generic). Single dose, continuous cycle, no “period” week. This is a game changer for me.

      Agree with other posters that the Nuvaring was weird. It kept popping out.

  2. Theft proof purse recs?

    Good morning!
    I’m looking for a theft-proof purse, ideally one with an exterior zip or latch pocket for my phone. I have the VaultPro Gateway Grande bag and it’s been nearly ideal, but the pocket is just a bit too small for an IPhone 12.
    Thanks1

    • Anonymous Grouch

      Loot at the Travelon brand. Available at various online outfits. Many styles and sizes, almost all have an exterior pocket, and they all have many security features including little zipper latches. I have a couple of them and they’ve stood up to rigorous travel and still look new.

  3. Cora

    What do you think of colored pants? I somehow now have dark red and very dark green work pants and they are surprisingly versatile. I think I have a lot of neutral colored tops and the pant colors are fairly muted, so it works without being too crazy looking.

    • Anonymous

      Those both sound beautiful. I like colored pants, but mostly in darker colors. On the other hand, a stylish co-worker wore kind of a mauve-pink pair of dress pants yesterday with a white blouse and looked great.

      • Cora

        That does sound awesome. I would totally wear that but I’m just scared off of bright colored pants. I definitely used to wear them more in the past. Now I’m inspired by your coworker though.

    • Anon

      I like them. I think that if you were able to find a sweater in a similar tonal color, they would make for a great monochromatic outfit too.

      • test run

        +1 monochromatic outfits are my favorite. Usually in olive green/navy because those colors work best for me, but depending on your office/region, I could see it working in pretty much any color.

    • Monday

      That’s how to do it, IMO! If I want to make outfits easily, I’ve realized I need to either have plenty of neutral tops or plenty of neutral pants. But I can’t have mostly colors for both tops and bottoms. (Yes, just having neutrals for all is an elegant way to be able to combine anything, but that’s too muted a look for me every day.)

      I personally realized I don’t wear colored pants because my tops tend to be brightly colored. But I admire when someone does it the other way around.

      Occasionally I do wear colors for both. I have one pair of rusty red jeans that I sometimes wear with a pink sweater.

    • Anon

      I like them. I’m too much of a klutz for light colors, though. Yours’ sound lovely.

    • Anon

      I like them in theory. In reality I’m too lazy to coordinate everything, and I’m also a slob who needs dark pants to hide stains, spills, and food.

    • Anonymous

      I like having navy, grey, burgundy, forest green and eggplant in the mix for work. I like colored solid jackets, pants, dresses and skirts in these muted colors, and also have totes, belts and shoes to mix in with them. My boundary stretch items are teal and leaf green for summer.

        • Anonymous

          I like Trina Turk for burgundies, and Brooks Brothers for some good greens. Everyone has grey right now. Eggplant usually is from Talbots. My shoes are Cole Haan, Tory Burch and Stuart Weitzman. My totes are Brahmin, they have a really big range of colors.

    • Curious

      I mostly wear monochromatic or ombre outfits, and I’m at the point where I almost exclusively wear colored pants. I’m a Summer with medium low contrast in my coloring so it works. My pants are burgundy, olive green, and dusty navy. Makes me so happy.

      • Cora

        For monochrome, do you think the top and pants have to match identically? I have a lot of similar colors, but I’m not sure if the colors would be identical.

        • Curious

          No, I find that it’s okay for me. The risk is more when I do gradations in the same family (so like maroon to purple). It can look unintentional unless I have a third piece or shoes that extend the gradation. I was walking around the other day in red-maroon pants and @ reddish-purple top after taking off the deep purple cardigan, and I felt very much like I had accidentally worn black pants with navy shoes.

        • Curious

          But also I really think it’s trial and error. It took me a long time (and actually, the post the other day about Meghan Markle’s style) to realize that I just like columns of color and feel relaxed and comfortable in XYZ combinations but not ABC. Best of luck to you :)

          • Anonony

            I love columns of color as well. How would I find the post on Meghan Markle’s style? I don’t have much success using the search function here. TIA

          • Curious

            Ugh it was a comment thread this week but I couldn’t tell you what day. Google is useless because of all the higher rated Meghan Markle hits. I don’t actually know if the thread taught me anything; it was more that it made me look at what she wears, and she does monochrome looks a lot

        • Nudibranch

          Trinny London does a lot of looks wth columns of color. You might check out her IG or FB if you’re interested. She has a unique style, but lots of good tips for using color. I learn a lot from her posts.

    • Vicky Austin

      I love them. I’m always trying to come up with a succinct way to describe my style (like Rainbow Hair would advise – where is she these days??) and recently the thing that feels most accurate is “pop of color.” I love a single bright color in an outfit against neutrals. Still figuring out what looks good together other than loads of navy and white + red accents, though, hah.

    • Anonymous

      I think colored pants look great in theory but often look really weird in practice. Proper fit is key. Color also matters–I’m looking at you Talbots and your crazy lavender pants. And it needs to be paired with a neutral.If going for a monochromatic look, it’s best if you are doing a dark color. Otherwise, it’s a lot of look and usually not in a good way. There are jus so many ways the look can go wrong.

      • Curious

        Gotta say, someone without a lot of contrast in their coloring, who is either pale or fairly dark, would probably pull off head to toe lavender AMAZINGLY. Just, like, not a polyester track suit. Darker lavender ponte pants with a lightweight pale lavender sweater? I bet there are people who can pull this off. Of course, they would have to be able to not stain things, too.

  4. Anonymous

    I know he is doing this on purpose . I know this . I know he wants the left to get all riled up and scream he is racist . But I still am just white hot with rage about tucker and KBJs LSATs

      • Anon

        His scores are probably pretty decent. He’s a horrible person but I don’t think he’s stupid.

        • Monday

          Sure, but her scores are probably excellent too. Look where she is. The problem is that he’s asking in the first place, right?

          • Anon

            I’m not disputing that he’s a racist jerk or that his demand that she release her scores is inappropriate. But I was responding to someone saying he should release his own scores and I doubt that would be the “gotcha!” people think it would be. He comes from a very privileged background, I’m sure he did well on the SAT, even if it was with the help of expensive tutoring.

          • Monday

            I agree it would not be a “gotcha” in terms of his scores. They’re likely good. But the idea of his needing to release the scores at all is absurd, which highlights that his call for her scores is also absurd. They’re both decades into their careers.

    • Anonymous

      Ok I’m going to need more context here. I missed this news story. What’s going on?

      • Anon

        Tucker Carlson is just ranting about how she’s not qualified to be a Justice and needs to release her LSAT score. Something he did not care about for any of Trump’s white nominees, including Barrett who went to a worse law school.

        • anonshmanon

          Sounds like Obama’s birth certificate all over again. Fox news viewers really fall for that crap?

          • Anon

            Oh yes. They hyper-focus on ridiculous details that would not, should not matter to anyone because it’s their way of calling a Black person’s credibility into question without focusing on their race as the reason. Even though race is absolutely the reason why the person in question (Obama, KBJ) is having their credibility challenged. Asking for a birth certificate, then saying the one that is released is not good enough and you want to see the “long-form birth certificate”? Challenging someone’s LSAT scores despite their excellent legal credentials? “Tell me you’re racist without telling me you’re racist.”

            At their core, Tucker Carlson and the rest of his cult followers can’t reconcile the idea that a Black person may be smarter or more accomplished than they are. Bubba who dropped out of high school in the 11th grade and now is an assistant to the assistant manager at Discount Tires, working the weekend shift, has to be able to maintain his illusion of racial superiority somehow. I know this because I have several Bubbas from Discount Tires in my extended family.

          • Anon4This

            Yup. DH’s family has quite a few Bubbas, and it’s been eye-opening for me (child of immigrants, Non-White) the insecurity and feeling that successful BIPOC “took” something from them. Like, no, Chad the fact that you didn’t go to college isn’t because Michelle O. got your spot at Princeton, I promise.

            I’ve found the White Boomer Women who didn’t vote for Trump but are around a lot of Bubbas also fall into this category (“Well I worked so hard…”)

        • Anon

          Barrett took a full ride to Notre Dame and graduated #1 in her class, FWIW. I think we should place less emphasis on “where” (so long as it is at least a reasonably good school) and more on “what has this person done since then.”

          • Anonymous

            Yeah, why weren’t there any objections to Barrett’s educational background? I thought only HYS was acceptable.

          • Anon

            It wasn’t a dig at Barrett or Notre Dame, which is a perfectly good law school. But it is objectively worse than Harvard. And questioning the credentials of a Black woman who went to Harvard and not a white woman who went to a lower ranked school is racist.

    • bbb

      It is so confusing to me because I don’t know anyone on the right (which I am) who does or would buy that argument. It is so dumb.

      • Anon

        You are lucky! Tucker is just repeating something I’ve heard many times from people on the right; it’s a well worn trope at this point.

        • Anon

          (The only difference is that this time it’s LSATs rather that SATs that they’re insinuating are somehow inadequate.)

        • Anon

          I think we need to distinguish two versions of the right – the people who believe Tucker’s insanity and those who…don’t. Actually, yeah, that’s a pretty good consistent dividing line. I’m right-ish (anti-trump, pro-Romney type) and I think KBJ is perfectly qualified. I can disagree with her positions while still recognizing that she seems wicked smart and absolutely, objectively qualified.

          • Anon

            The hard thing to acknowledge for me is that Tucker is as popular as he is. I cannot wrap my mind around how many Americans willingly and faithfully watch his show.

    • Anon

      What is her score? I see lots of drama about this but nothing about the actual number. Curious for myself — am I too dumb for my job now? I know Latham (I think) used to ask that of laterals, even partner candidates, and it was made clear to me that I was not cut from the right sort of cloth.

      • Duh

        She graduated from HLS magna cum laude. We don’t need to know her number. I don’t know why on earth you would be curious about this.

        • Anonymous

          He’s implying she was an affirmative action admission and an unqualified applicate which is a despicable thing to imply

      • Anonymous

        Really? I’m 11 years out of law school and I don’t even remember my LSAT score. Or my SAT score, for that matter.

        • Anon

          Same. I could not tell you my LSAT score if my life depended on it. How does he even know hers?

          • Anon

            He doesn’t. He’s saying she’s not qualified to be on the Supreme Court and needs to publicly share her LSAT score to prove her qualifications.

        • Anon

          This is so ridiculous. I only remember my SAT score because it was an extremely easy to remember 1600… and I don’t think that has anything to do with making me qualified to be on the supreme court or for any other job and I think anyone who thinks that is an idiot!

        • Anon

          I remember all of my scores (even PSAT!) but no one has asked me about my LSAT score since I started law school. It’s just not-so-subtle racism by him, plain and simple.

      • Anon

        Are you a troll? Like a Slate article said, asking KBJ for her LSAT scores is the equivalent of inquiring about someone’s kindergarten report card for a post college job.

      • Anonymous

        I can’t possibly imagine a firm asking about an LSAT score. Your law school stands in as a proxy for that. KBJ went to HLS, she obviously didn’t tank the LSAT. And honestly, the LSAT is not even remotely close to a measure for how good of a “legal mind” you are. I got a great LSAT score (176) which got me into HLS, but I was an average student there even though I was in the top 25% of even HLS LSAT scores. LSAT measures pure logic and reading comprehension skills, not all the other skills that go into being a great lawyer. In other words, if she did well in law school (she did), and she has been an accomplished attorney (she obviously has been) the LSAT score is 100% irrelevant.

      • Anon

        I feel like that’s an urban legend. If true, it’s idiotic. I think there’s little correlation between LSAT score and Big Law success. Above a certain minimum threshold there might even be an inverse correlation. A charming, hardworking person of average IQ is way more likely to make partner than a genius who’s socially awkward or not as motivated as less smart people.

        • Anon

          Oddly, when you are in the middle 50% of your class at a Top 50 law school, no one cares. Either you have family connections or a lot of hustle and talent if you make anything of yourself.

        • Anon4This

          +1 to this. DH went to a T2 law school, worked his tail off, clerked and worked his tail off in other roles, got into BigLaw, and is up for partner this year. His LSAT was in the 150s. I only know this because I’m a defected attorney and we met right after law school :)

          • Seventh Sister

            Mine was 160 (albeit many many years ago) which got me into a T20 law school that punches far above its weight in its region. I wasn’t on law review but I was well into the top half of my law school class and did fine career-wise.

            I’m one of those oddballs/freaks who got a lot of very high grades but got middling test scores on tests like the SAT and the LSAT. Sometimes I wonder if I have a learning difference that impeded me, I hit a wall with foreign language in college and they wanted to test me for stuff like that but I just dropped the course. My husband is the exact opposite – wouldn’t do the work or study but got near perfect scores on any standardized test.

          • Anonymous

            Standardized test-taking is a specific skill. You have to be pretty smart to have that skill, but not having it does not necessarily mean you are not smart.

          • Seventh Sister

            Where I routinely get balled up in standardized tests is in discerning what is the “ok answer” versus the “best answer.” I tend to overthink this kind of thing and then panic or get frustrated. I’m great at things like trivia (because there is one answer) but terrible at logic puzzles.

      • Anon

        Gibson in DC is the one form I know that did this. Not sure if they still do but it was serious no matter how large your book was.

        • Alanna of Trebond

          Gibson DC was a funny place to interview – I went to NYU and some associates were like, we interview outside of Harvard and Yale? And they had grade cutoffs even for rainmaker partners apparently.

          • Anon

            This. Exactly what I remember. They really made it clear that they thought you were beneath them. And would continue that — you will never be more than what you started out as. I probably couldn’t have been hired in their mail room.

          • Anon

            Man, the people who work there must be insufferable. I know a lot of nice people who went to HLS and YLS with top LSAT scores, but none of them would have wanted to work somewhere that cared about their LSAT score.

        • Anonymous

          I went to Harvard and Yale and am a partner at a major BigLaw firm, and I would vomit in my mouth if I learned that we were asking lateral candidates about their LSAT scores.

      • Anonymous

        Because no one has asked for the number! Of any candidate ! Because it’s meaningless. That’s what’s so insidious about tucker . He is implying that somehow the Biden administration is doing something shady when that has never ever been a part of a candidates “package” , while implying that she was not actually qualified for her job. And stupid people will go “why gee wiz why aren’t they releasing her score hmm? “ and now she has to either release her score (which although will be outstanding ) will do nothing to actually satisfy him because he doesn’t actually care about the score ) or she doesn’t on principle because it’s racist bs that he even said it but now this stupid talking point is out there .

    • Pep

      His end game is that he’s trying to make the (false) case that she’s not qualified, that she was only admitted to HLS on the basis of race.

      I’m not a lawyer, but even if this was an accepted practice (to demand test scores of SCOTUS candidates) wouldn’t her bar score be more relevant than the LSAT?

      • Anon

        No, because most states just tell you if you passed or failed, not a number.

        • Anon

          I thought there was actually a number on file somewhere, it just isn’t released to candidates who pass. If you fail, they definitely tell you how close you were, at least in some states.

          That said, the bar is really a knowledge test. The LSAT is essentially an IQ test. Tucker is being a racist a-hole, but if he’s arguing that she’s not smart enough to be on the Court the LSAT is a better metric because it assesses intelligence and the bar doesn’t.

          • More Sleep Would Be Nice

            100% there’s a number (or used to be) on the MBE which is used to get you admission in other states. I remember this because I passed the MBE by literally half a point!

          • Anon

            In my state, the number is meaningless to anyone looking back at scores, at least when I took the bar exam. There were standard scores on the multiple choice, but then graders all over the state would grade the essay questions (not in any really standardized way— just give these essays a number between 1 and 20). Then all the totals were put in order and a curve created based on the spread. So sometimes the highest score was 350/400, and sometimes it was 320/400, etc. You did get your scores, but the only way you could determine how “close” you were was if the top scorer wanted to divulge their score (that person’s name is released).

            So no one would have any idea how well I’d really done on the test without A LOT more info than just a raw number that’s probably archived somewhere.

            This is all just for information and not in any way supporting TC, who is a racist crazy person.

      • Anonymous

        Not at all. Law school graduates are taught that the only thing that matters is that you pass the bar, not your actual score. Most of us aim for the passing but not acing it level because otherwise you’re studying your butt off for nothing. One of my best skills in life is test-taking and I don’t think I got a stellar bar exam score. We all joked that if you got a great score it just shows that you studied too much.

        • More Sleep Would Be Nice

          This just underlies how different skill sets/acumen is in law school (and the world). I studied like crazy because I’m a terrible test taker and barely passed (but no one has EVER asked me my score). I also was taking one of the hardest states (think TX, NY, CA), so maybe that’s also a part of it…?

      • AIMS

        This is the same old playbook. Remember when Trump wanted Obama to release his report card?

        Not that an LSAT score is even relevant to being on the SC as being a SC Justice isn’t a multiple choice exam. I will say that this kind of blatant racism is the one somewhat compelling argument I’ve heard about getting rid of affirmative action – I think Thomas talks about this (and I loathe him but even a broken clock..) – that the very presence of AA allows people to dismiss you as being solely the product of AA even if the truth couldn’t be further from it. But of course no one seems to make that argument with, say, legacy admissions and if they do, it’s written off sour grapes.

        • Anon

          Yes, it’s the same song and dance all over again. These mediocre white men are so deeply insecure that it challenges the core of their ego to suggest that any minority or woman could possibly be smarter or better at something than they are. The people doing the challenging are exactly the people we talk about here, who have coasted on the wave of their whiteness and their appearance-based qualifications to join the Old Boys Network their entire lives. They weren’t smart enough or willing to work hard enough to get into Harvard Law School, so there’s no way some Black woman was smarter than them, or harder-working. She had to have gotten in through affirmative action.

          • AIMS

            Or, alternatively, they weren’t qualified and got in on the basis of their connection, therefore everyone else did the same.

            What I find amazing about it coming from the right is that all they do is talk about how awful “elites” are because they are “elites” and then in the same breath complain that the elites aren’t elite enough somehow.

      • Anonymous

        If he’s arguing that she was only admitted based on race, but she graduated with high honors, and has achieved success into the pinnacle of our profession, isn’t that a great argument for affirmative action? What am I missing?

        • Anon

          She is on Harvard’s board and Harvard has the “why do they discriminate against Asian applicants” case coming up. I think it is just on the undergrad side though. Maybe because of this?

    • Marie

      He knows exactly what he is doing and should be ashamed of himself. He knows a score on a test taken before she had *any* legal training whatsoever is completely irrelevant to whether she is qualified to be a Supreme Court justice. He knows that there is nothing confusing or shady about Biden not mentioning a completely meaningless detail like this. He also knows that a large amount of his watchers are ignorant and racist enough to latch onto this completely bogus idea.

      His flip comment about no one knowing how to pronoun her name was beyond the pale and told you everything you needed to know about his intentions.

      • Anonymous

        Not defending what he’s doing, but (big but), the LSAT has nothing to do with “legal training”. It’s all about thinking and logic. Frankly, I wouldn’t want a justice on the Supreme Court who didn’t do reasonably well on it (though I have no doubt she rocked it).

        • Anonymous

          I think her record as a jurist is pretty widely available and relevant on her thinking and logic.

          • Anon

            Exactly! Her record is far, far more important to how well she uses reason and logic AS A JUDGE than how well she did determining whether the clown with yellow hair was wearing blue pants or green pants (an actual scenario on my LSAT).

        • Marie

          I agree that the LSAT has nothing to do with legal training, which is why claiming that you can tell whether a Supreme Court justice nominee is qualified based on their LSAT score when they knew absolutely nothing about how to analyze the law at the time they take the LSAT is a ludicrous measuring stick for Carlson to hold up in the situation. If you want to take a look at qualifications, review opinions authored by her and her overall record in the legal field. The point is that no one else’s LSAT score was put at issue (rightfully), so an inquiry about hers is arbitrary and nonsensical.

          • Marie

            Anon-every time I put away silverware, I repress the logic game problem from my practice LSAT 10 years ago about if you put away knives before forks, but not after spoons, but bowls can’t be put away last and never before utensils but also not after plates who must be put away before glasses and so on, which of these sequences can be true…AHHH *pours glass of wine and immediately leaves the kitchen, putting away no dishes*

    • Anonymous

      I am confused. Does he think she was nominated to be an LSAT tutor? That’s the only job where LSAT scores are relevant.

    • Anon

      I feel like asking for someone’s LSAT scores after you get accepted to law school is just laughable. I can’t even take the thought of that seriously. I makes him look like an idiot.

    • nutella

      It’s not just the immediate rage he wants to rile up; it’s the long game, too, of reinforcing the idea that affirmative action is wrong. Her score– no matter how good and no matter how irrelevant we lawyers know it to be in how sharp of a lawyer and jurist you are– will never be good enough because there is the seed of doubt of what if there was a white candidate that had the same score or better that did not get in? And what if that white candidate could have been you or your kid? It fuels the anxiety of affirmative action taking away from white people, which when a school has thousands of applicants and can literally accept only a fraction of that, they have to make close decisions at times that will look suspect if you have a doubting eye. Affirmative action is coming up again on the Court’s docket, so it’s a great pet issue in the culture wars. No doubt, too, that KBJ being another Black voice on the Court that might counter at times Thomas’s voice is at play too. For Carlson and people like him, they don’t even have to mention KBJ’s race, Biden already did when he pledged to nominate a Black woman (which I think is a great idea) and then they are off to the races with the war on affirmative action all the while saying, “I never mentioned race!” It’s deliberate pot-stirring because the more you keep the anxiety and culture war going, the more it gets baked into people’s thinking and again, like I said, it coming up before the Court.

      • Anonymous

        This is why Biden should just have nominated her without pledging that he would nominate a Black woman. It would have forced the other side to be the ones to bring up race.

    • Seventh Sister

      It is astonishingly stupid that LSAT scores are an issue. People like Tucker just find any justification to tear down someone that they think is “beneath” them.

  5. Monday

    Phew!! This dress would look so bad on me I just have to tell someone. I’m petite, busty, and have muscular limbs.

    • Anonymous

      I am tall and on the larger side and it would look terrible on me too. I think this kind of dress only looks good on very small/slim frames. It’s a tough shape to pull off.

    • Anonymous

      With the short sleeves, high neck, and shoulder buttons, this looks like the costume for a nurse in a sci-fi movie.

      • Anon

        Yes! The colour is like scrubs. The dress would be a lot cuter without the high neck.

      • pugsnbourbon

        OMG I totally see it! “Just lie back, this won’t hurt a bit” *ominous alien machine noises”

      • Anon

        This is interesting to me because I have always thought that a mock is flattering to no one.

        • Monday

          I like mocknecks for sleeveless tops or for long-sleeved sweaters. But with an elbow sleeve and a tight fit somehow it looks disastrous to me.

          • Anon

            +1

            Anon from 9:23 here and I loooove mock necks on sleeveless tanks and dresses, and have a few long sleeved winter sweaters with mock necks. Idk what it is, but a black mock neck tank makes me feel sleek at bad@ss

    • PolyD

      As I age and my neck gets… less than optimal… I want to be able to wear higher necklines, but yes, as someone who is busty but has a small frame, necklines like this kind of make me look like BOOBS on a stick.

      Eh, I don’t like that shade of green anyway. Tempted to click through and see if there are other colors, because I generally like the shape of the dress, but it would be futile.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a short pear and the pleated A-line skirt is a hard pass–I much prefer a straight skirt for my work dresses. (It’s also very windy here, which makes full skirts a bad, BAD idea.)

    • anon

      This cut actually looks great on me but the higher neck would overwhelm me. If it were a v neck I might consider it. I’m small and short, pear shaped

    • Anon

      I had a version of this dress – it was a faux double breasted coat dress so not a funnel neck, but the same exact color and sleeves and skirt style and length – when I started my career. I believe I plucked it off a sale rack at Talbots, SHOCKING no one else wanted it! I was just starting out and didn’t have very many professional clothes so I think I wore it once a week for two years. As a result I was so thoroughly sick of it that I will
      Never Ever wear this color again!

  6. International shopping

    Yesterday someone mentioned looking UK brands for trenches because they do it right. It reminded me how I like Canadian brands for winter boots. Any other favorite geographies when looking at clothes or accessories—where even low brand is likely to be pretty good?

      • Curious

        Though I am unimpressed by the selection on the UK site currently. My experience comes from the Netherlands.

        • Vicky Austin

          When I lived in Sweden, the H&M winter accessories were, predictably, 100% on point at all times.

    • Anonymous

      Not really geography, but I do look to surf brands for swimsuits that stay on, and gear brands for gear that works.

    • anon

      My local-specific choices:
      Scottish Wool sweaters
      Lithuanian linen fabric and textile [summer pyjamas, summer dresses]
      [especially winter] outdoor clothes and shoes from Sweden

    • Cb

      I like the Swedish kids brands – basics like H&M, Lindex. They fit my tall, trim kid and have fun, non-gendered prints and patterns.

      • Cornellian

        And for my average height kid built likes a Clydesdale, German kids brands seem better, ha.

  7. Anon

    I don’t have a background in psychology at all. Our area has had some very public teen suicides since the pandemic and a co-worker also killed himself. He was so kind and I still wonder if there was anything I could have done differently. I feel so disconnected from people and recent very high profile national suicides have me wanting to learn more about this but I don’t know where to start. I am not suicidal myself but want to reconnect with people now that the pandemic seems to be waning (and days are longer and we can be outside together at least). I feel like a lot of people must be hurting tremendously and want to be there for people more than I have been lately.

    • Curious

      I love that you care about this. My friend who is a psychologist just texted me that it’s so rough for everyone right now. I don’t know how to learn about suicide risk, but I’ve found people surprisingly willing to answer the question “are you thinking about hurting yourself?”. So that’s good to know. But also just like, say hi to people. Community, being heard, being hugged… It matters for mental health.

    • anonymous

      I have dealt with suicidal ideation throughout my life. Part of it is feeling incredibly alone and isolated and feeling like there is no one to talk to. Everyone has their own lives and I won’t want to burden anyone. I’m sure I have undiagnosed depression, but I’m still able to function in normal life so I’ve never gone to therapy or anything.

      Please reach out to people. Even if it’s just a text or email to ask how they are doing. For me, asking for help is really hard. But if someone contacted me and asked how I was doing and provided an opening to talk that would be a lot easier for me.

      Along with depression, I struggle with feelings of worthlessness. I truly believe that there are people in my life that would not miss me if I was gone. Sure, people would be inconvenienced by my death – like work – but that would be people missing me for the things I do. I don’t feel like there is anyone that would miss me for *me* if that makes sense. So along with contacting someone to see how they’re doing, let them know they’re valued. Ask if they want to hang out.

      Anyway, I hope this provides some insight into how someone depressed and/or suicidal might think. I appreciate you asking about how to help.

      • Anon

        While you may not have been diagnosed with depression, you definitely have depression. There are A LOT of high functioning people with depression. I’m one of them. A lot of what you describe is very similar to how I feel. Therapy will definitely help with this. Especially self-worth. I encourage you to seek help.

        For OP – The comments above are great. I also suggest sharing how YOU feel. Even if you are not suicidal or have diagnosed depression, creating an opening by talking about how you feel can ease some of the hesitation someone may feel when asked “how are you”. You can start by saying it’s been so hard… etc… and then saying, “do you ever feel like this? How are you doing, really?”

        Vulnerability begets vulnerability.

      • anon

        I no longer have suicidal ideations, but when I did, and when I attempted suicide this was me also. +1000

        But also to this poster, you do matter, people would notice and miss you, and if you are open to it, therapy and medication combined turned my life around. This internet stranger is thinking of you. <3

        I don’t know if you want to share your general geo location, but I will hang out with you if you are near me in Pennsylvania!

      • Curious

        anonymous, hugs to you. One of the things that receiving help during cancer treatment has forced me to face is that I still, 7 years after first getting therapy and medication, fundamentally struggle with believing I’m a likeable person. But now I have tools to challenge that belief. Therapy and meds have been so worth it. If it’s an option for you, you are worth it. Like my nurse practitioner said when I said “see, I’m doing fine”: Yes, you’re coping. But it doesn’t have to be this hard.

        You are worth it. Just you, not what you do. I am 100% sure and I don’t even know you. Hugs if you want them from this internet stranger.

      • anonymous

        I’m the anon from 10:28. Thanks all for the kind words. I am typing this with tears in my eyes because I’ve never really shared any of these thoughts with anyone. I have been thinking a lot about finally getting therapy and this gave me the push to at least look online and see what options are available. I WFH so I’m looking for telehealth options. Thanks again and kind words from internet strangers to help!

        • Anon

          Thank you so much for sharing what you go through and the advice you have for others. Now I know what to do as well when reaching out to people. And I’m so glad to hear you are considering therapy. You do matter and people would definitely miss you!

  8. Anon

    Looking for advice on how to get better at hair/makeup. Not something I am good at all and want to work on it.

    • Anon_05

      YouTube. You can search for any type of thing you want to learn. I like The Small Things Blog and Lainey Marie Beauty for hair stuff. There are ton’s of makeup channels out there. You can search for “makeup 101” or “how to apply winged liner” and have tons of videos come up. Smitha Deepak has lots of good tutorials. Other makeup channels I like are Emily Noel, Drugstore Maven, Risa Does Makeup. Hot and Flashy.

    • BeenThatGuy

      On the makeup side, years ago, I booked an appointment with a makeup artist. She spent a full hour with me going over colors that worked for me. She did one eye with a day look and the other eye with a night time look. She went over tools and brands also (obviously her preferences). It really helped me get into a makeup routine that worked well for my coloring and the limited time I was willing to put into it.

    • Clementine

      Start by being realistic with how much time you’re going to put in it each day. For example, are you willing to put 20 minutes into your hair or do you need a cut/style that you can have ready in 5 minutes. Do you want to learn a full face with contour or do you need a 2 minute makeup routine with some solid skincare?

      I would start with watching some YouTube tutorials and then once you find a style you wan to recreate, go out and purchase those items. Ideally, go to Sephora at like noon on a Wednesday and ask one of their MUAs to help you with techniques, color matching, and recreating the look you like.

      • Cat

        I agree with this advice. As an example of what to say, for my current needs (a “my face but better” light makeup routine) I would probably explain that I wanted to spend no more than 5 minutes on makeup using products that are low-maintenance. I’m not interested in products that require special brushes, or if you let it sit just a minute too long will harden in place, etc. Easy products would probably be a tinted moisturizer or BB cream, blendable concealer, perfect Caviar Stick for my eye color, mascara, and blush.

        Then I would explain I would be willing to add another 5 minutes when I wanted to make an effort- adding a bit of light contouring, eyeliner and a second shadow color, etc, building on the basics.

  9. Bonnie Wright Sweater

    I was watching the Harry Potter special and was reminded of the discussion here about Bonnie Wright’s short sleeve sweater. I haven’t identified it, but I did find a photo of her wearing the same sweater in gray in 2013! I had just assumed it was part of an upcoming spring collection.

  10. Anonymous

    Is “It’s not you, it’s me” an acceptable explanation for not continuing to date someone if it’s true? Or is that a terrible cliche and going to be heard as “It’s something I did wrong and I don’t know what.” I’ve been on 3 dates with a very nice man who has done everything right, but I realize dating is not for me right now I don’t want to share the details of why with him, but I have cried every day since the first date and feel like it is turning into full-blown depression now (after being fine for 20+ years). I do not want this man to think either that he is the problem, or that I am a jerk for leading him on. We share a social network.

    • Cat

      You could say “I’ve realized I’m not ready to date right now” without explaining the details!

      • anon

        This is the answer and all that you “owe” him in order to be respectful and kind.

        As someone who has been told several times how amazing I am when someone doesn’t want to date me – I hate it. I know I’m awesome. Just tell me you don’t want to date and be done with it. Don’t try to manage my (or anyone else’s) feelings about it!

    • Anon

      I think you can just say you’re in a bad place and not ready to date right now, but that you think he’s great and want him to know he didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t owe him an explanation, but I think giving him a relatively vague one like that (if you’re comfortable doing so, of course) is kind.

    • Anon

      I think it’s totally fine to say “Hey, I don’t think I’m in a great space to date right now. I’ve had a lovely time with you but I need to focus on myself. Hope you understand and best of luck.”

    • Anon

      You don’t have to give an explanation after 3 dates (or at all, but especially after so few dates). But, if you wanted to, you could say that you realized that you are not in a place to date or start a relationship. I think that’s a better description than “it’s not you, it’s me,” because people just hear that as you don’t want to date them — it never makes anyone feel better.

    • MK

      “I don’t think we are a match” is a kind thing to say, without suggesting that it’s either person’s fault!

      • anon

        I don’t like this either. It makes me feel like the person is trying get out of making a firm decision that is what THEY want. Just say, this isn’t a match for ME. That’s the truth.

        • OP

          I agree that it would be better to take responsibility for the decision, but I honestly don’t know if he is a match for me. I am totally incapable of assessing that right now, so I don’t want to suggest anything either way.

          • anon

            My comment was directed at the response generally, not you. Just tell him you aren’t in a place to date and be done with it. Way too much energy on this.

        • Anon

          You can’t have a match if one person doesn’t think it’s there, though.

    • Anon

      You’ve been on 3 dates, not dating for 3 years. You owe him nothing – just say hey, not in a place to date right now, and move on. If he’s an adult, he’ll get it and move on, and if not, well, who cares, you’re not dating him anymore.

      • Anonymous

        The context that this is all happening within a friend group is being ignored and is the sole reason I am concerned about it. I am going to see all of my/his friends and possibly him, too, tomorrow. And again next Thursday. And the Wednesday after that. And possibly unexpectedly at other times. It’s not like I met him on Tinder and he lives across town. He’s been a complete adult and a gentleman. I expect that to continue. I want to be similarly respectful and make it not awkward for anyone in the future. I shouldn’t have gone in the first place but I did and I am trying to handle it correctly.

        • Anon

          There’s no way to do this where you’re going to avoid all possible awkwardness. The more casual and low-key you can be about it (and the nicer you can be when you tell him) the less drama there will be for anyone to latch onto. Especially if, in a few months, you meet someone you do want to date and start dating that person and bring them around the friend group. I would keep it factual, no big drama, just – hey, this isn’t a great time for me, sorry and then move on. If you make it into a big deal (or dump your emotional purse out with him, which is absolutely not necessary) he may make it into a big deal, and then everyone will make it into a big deal.

          I realize you realize this, but in the future, if you’re that worried about friend-group-awkwardness that results from you dating a member of your friend group – do not date any more members of your friend group.

        • Anon

          With this context, I might actually really talk to him and just tell him what’s going on. A couple of reasons, one, if you’re in the same social circle you might end up being friends and friends talk about dating; two, he might actually be someone you end up interested in when you are ready to date. And, he may end up being understanding and caring in a way you wouldn’t expect and that may change things. A break-up meet cute, if you will. I’m guessing there’s more going on with you and just being honest is often an awesome, unfiltered way to start a relationship.

  11. Anon

    I usually resist the temptation to ask random legal questions of the internet, but I hope you’ll indulge me today. I had an accident at work that might be in a grey area of worker’s comp. My instinct is to have my work file a claim with their worker’s comp insurance and wait to consult a personal injury lawyer if it is denied. Is there any reason that I should consult with an injury lawyer before filing worker’s comp?

    • Cat

      I don’t know the answer to this, but I do know you should not be on the internet saying stuff like this about it. My best guess – report it to your office so they can do their process, and probably meet a PI attorney for a consult in the meantime.

    • Anonymous

      I used to manage a big team. You are *supposed* to file a wcomp claim. I was traveling with some of my team and a guy got stung by a bee or hit by a spider or something (outside the hotel! Not like, as part of work) and had to go to the ER. I mentioned it in passing to a colleague who was in Hr and she jumped on it immediately to make sure he filed wcomp.

      We all still joke about it but it was 100% a comp claim not medical!

      • Anon

        An employee who reported to me got injured at a volleyball game at a company picnic. Because I witnessed the accident, I was contacted by the worker’s comp insurance company who determined that since the picnic was optional (no one was required to attend), the injury wasn’t covered by WC. There are a lot of nuances related to WC, and I thought I “knew it all” haha because my husband had a WC claim 20 years ago.

    • Anon

      If you were hurt at work while working, it’s a workers’ compensation injury. Take it to HR. Workers’ compensation is a no-fault system so you can’t sue your employer over workplace injuries except for in extreme cases, and I mean extreme like they set a trap to intentionally injure you. So a personal injury attorney will be no help to you.

      Now, I will tell you I am pretty sure I broke my leg at work. I fell down in a room that had a substandard floor and limped around for a few days, finally had an x ray and had a hairline fracture. I did not report it as a WC injury. I work in the WC industry and all j wanted was medical care, and I knew my group health plan would be better. I also don’t know for absolute sure that it was that one fall that caused it – lots of things can cause hairline fractures – and I didn’t want to spend all that time and effort trying to prove something only to result in worse medical care than I could get on my own.

      • lifer

        I know you didn’t ask about this, but a small low velocity fall like this should not cause a leg fracture in someone otherwise young/healthy. You could have osteoporosis. Talk with your doctor about whether you should be screened.

        I have a family member that had undiagnosed osteoporosis for many years, that only in retrospect, his doctor pinpointed a fracture that occurred after a small fall that was when we should have had him screened.

        Just keep it in mind, and make sure you are getting sufficient calcium/vitamin D and weight bearing exercise.

        • Anon

          Thanks. I had a bone density test after this and my results were good to great, so it seemed to be a freak thing. It was several years (and falls) ago and I’ve not broken another bone.

      • Anon

        While you cannot sue your employer for a workplace injury (Barring circumstances that are incredibly rare), you can sue a third-party if their negligence caused the incident. For example, if you are involved in automobile accident while driving for work, you have both a Worker’s Compensation claim and a third-party bodily injury claim.

        OP – notify HR and make the Worker’s Compensation claim. If you think a third-party contributed to your injury who is not your employer or coworker, then you can talk to an attorney who specializes in that type of case. Depending on the state you live in, you probably have some time (please look that up yourself and keep in mind that it can be much shorter if your claim is against any type of government entity). However, submitting your Worker’s Compensation claim should be done as soon as practically possible.

        • Anon

          This is correct about the third party suit, but if the workers’ compensation system has already paid out for your lost time and medical due to the accident, they will claw back that amount from the third party suit. In addition, the third party may then sue your employer for contributing to the injury (this is more the case with something like negligent supervision or training on equipment) to make the employer pay part of the award, but this is all inside baseball and nothing that would affect what the claimant sees as a final settlement, other than the claw back for WC expenses.

          • Anon

            And this is why you should not outsource legal advice in the US. That may be the case in some states, but in (at least in) California a third-party tortfeasor cannot sue your employer for indemnity absent an indemnity contract. What they get is a set-off for employer negligence up the amount of the worker’ compensation payout. (If anyone is interested Google Witt v, Jackson). I point this out because some people might hesitate to sue if they think their employer will get dragged into it.

            Also, the ability of the worker’s compensation carrier to asset a lien for what is paid is not limited to worker’s compensation coverage. Basically every health insurance carrier (and Medicare/Medicaid) will have a lien against your recovery, although they will generally negotiate that down by at least a third to allow for attorneys’ fees.

          • Anon

            Yes they can. It’s called an action over suit, it’s paid from the Employer’s Liability portion of the Workers’ Compensation policy, and that’s why that coverage exists. Even in California.

    • Anon_05

      Go ahead and file the worker’s comp claim, but also start researching lawyers. My husband got hurt at work (knee injury) and his original claim was denied. I don’t remember the exact timeline, but I think he got the lawyer after the claim was denied. There was a lot of back and forth, but he got surgery covered under the claim and ended up getting a settlement at the end of it. This was pre-covid and he had to go to several appointments with doctor’s from both sides. I think he attended a couple of hearings, but the lawyers mostly handled everything.

      • Anon

        So just to clarify for OP, the attorneys in the workers’ compensation system are specialists who work within the system. They take a percentage of the final settlement (which is meant to represent your decreased future earnings related to permanent reduced functionality due to the workplace injury, and it is usually not $$$$) but they work within the workers’ compensation structure and are not suing employers in the tort system.

    • Anon

      I am such a Workers’ Compensation nerd. This thread is as exciting to me, if not more, as the risotto thread the other that I was also irrationally excited about.

      Not to make light of your injury, OP, but you’re getting such an insiders view of WC here that most claimants never see.

  12. Anonymous

    How do I find a CFP who truly charges a flat fee (or an hourly rate), not a “flat fee” that ends up actually being a % of assets? I want to hire a CFP to take a one-time look at asset allocation in our retirement accounts and to reassure my husband that we can actually afford to buy a a better house and pay for college (we can). I do not need or want someone to “manage” our assets on an ongoing basis, do a detailed review of every line item in our budget, or tell us that the key to wealth is avoiding Starbucks.

    I am willing to pay a couple of thousand dollars for someone to tell me what percentage of our assets to put in which low-cost index funds, but every CFP I find on line wants clients to sign up for what appears to be a standard package of comprehensive services with an ongoing commitment to pay at least .8% of assets under management each year. Some of them are calling this a “flat fee.” To me this is ridiculous and not at all worthwhile. How much work are they really doing for all that money, and how can the advice they are providing possibly make up for the lost returns? I can see this type of approach perhaps making sense for a very wealthy retiree who is getting valuable advice on minimizing tax liability and active investing, but we are in the “sock it in an index fund and forget about it” phase of asset accumulation and for us paying a percentage of assets under management seems downright foolish.

    • Anon

      I am not sure. I hired someone for a flat fee (it was a monthly fee) through Zoe financial, and he was willing to give us reassurance on the college and retirement savings front and evaluate our insurance portfolio, but he would not give me investment suggestions without signing up for management. I was happy with the advice that I got, but stopped the service because I wasn’t getting anything out of it after the initial portfolio and insurance review.

    • Anon

      I just did this with someone I found through wealthramp; Garrett Planning Network and XY Planning network list a lot of the same people. Tips for reaching out: be VERY upfront about what you want (a one-time review, no assets under management). A lot of CFPs do both (and clearly make more money with management), but they’ll do the standard plan. I did a lot of research before I hired my person, and I interviewed 3 planners before I choose my final one. The process was harder than I thought, but I am very happy I did it.

        • Anon

          Yes! He shifted a bunch of things for an expected rough 2022, and made some accounts more/less risky than others. Previously, retirement was basically in various ‘2050 retirement’ accounts. He also told us how to ramp risk back up later.

  13. c-section

    For the person yesterday who asked about c-section advice, I bought this type of high waisted underwear and lived in them for a very long time after my c-section (they were very comfortable. I may still wear them occasionally, 8 months out, haha). You basically will not want anything touching the incision, so I also wore maternity pants and leggings for a while. And dresses – I bought some cheap nursing dresses from A mazon, but I had my baby in the middle summer so it was very warm.
    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07FJ794ZT/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

  14. Anon 2.0

    I am howling over the AAM post today about martial arts at work. Is it real? Maybe. Is is so absurd it is hilarious? Yes, yes it is. What is a “controlled fall” to get something off a low shelf? I want to witness this. It always amazes me how incredibly strange people can be. Laying on the floor at work! Practicing moves in an “out of the way” space on breaks. I just cannot. I need to witness this. I think you are going to be known as more than the quirky guy for this.

    • Anon_05

      I think it’s real b/c the OP posted a couple of times in the comments. It does sound fairly hilarious and I would definitely side-eye the guy.

      • Anonymous

        The more responses there are from the letter-writer, the more I think it’s a fake.

    • Monday

      I LOL’d too. The LW is also in the comments defending himself, so looks like he plans to keep doing it.

      I know some people here think AAM is all fake, but I personally think almost everything there is real. AAM takes letters from all industries and types of work. People are nuts, and most people work. Hence, lots of bizarre things happen in workplaces.

      • Anon

        I don’t think the criticism of AAM is necessarily that the letters are fake, but rather that they’re not at all broadly helpful to people with normal workplace issues.

    • Fed

      Yes, our management team is similarly howling. If you know what controlled falls are, it’s even funnier. I have a black belt and have threatened to start roundhousing items around the office.

      • Anonymous

        I had assumed controlled fall meant safety roll, which is pretty funny. I g00gled controlled fall and oh boy is it even funnier.

    • Anon

      I’ve worked in lots of warehouse and retail environments and it wouldn’t even move the needle of “weird”. Once upon a time, I could reliably win the impromptu pull-up contests that happened with some regularity. In my current office job, it would be harmlessly odd, but I’ve worked plenty of places where it’s not.

      • Anonymous

        I kind of wish my office had impromptu pull-up contests. We are way too straightlaced.

      • Curious

        We used to do push ups to decompress from the stressful parts of Black Friday…

    • AIMS

      I once had a boss who practiced his karate chops and kicks ALL THE TIME, like in mid-conversation. With accompanying sound effects.

      It was so hard not to laugh. Somehow, it was probably one of the least objectionable things he did, but I wouldn’t recommend it in the office.

      • Anon

        I 100% want to see this. Please tell me video exists.

        I had a colleague who played air guitar. Like, a lot. He wanted everyone to know he was a guitarist, in a band (I shudder to think how crappy that band must have been) and if anyone asked him what he was doing, he’d be like “oh, I didn’t realize. I’m practicing” and then go on about his band and the song he was “practicing” or whatever.

        My husband is an actual guitarist in several real bands, and he does not “practice” by playing air guitar.

    • Anonymous

      I worked with a guy who walked with his arms slightly bent at the elbows, shoulders hunched, and his hands in fists – if he was a cartoon character about to get into a fight. It was wild and very unsettling.

      We also somehow hired a receptionist who never spoke to or acknowledged me. She just stared at me and eventually buzzed me in. We didn’t have many visitors so I guess it was just employees and the delivery people but it freaked me out.

      • Anon

        The first company I worked for in 1987 had a break room attendant who glared at everyone who came in because she figured they were making more work for her. Her job was to make the coffee and keep the tables clean. The coffee was terrible, too. We later found out that she put salt in the coffee so no one would want to drink it. They company had hired her in the 1950s and were just waiting for her to retire.

        Your being glared at story reminded me of her. When I first started, the unnerving feeling of being glared at in the break room made 21 year old me feel like “omg I’m doing something wrong” without knowing what it was.

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