Coffee Break (and the Most-Bought Items in the 2020 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale!)

118 Comments

1. I’m looking for a nice, indulgent hand lotion. I like vanilla/woodsy/warm scents – no florals. I’m evacuated from my house from the NorCal fires and didn’t bring any with me, and I’d like something to make me feel a little better.

   1. I don’t know what qualifies as indulgent, but I really love ShiKai vanilla scent. It absorbs nicely and feels lovely, and the vanilla scent is warm and not overly-sweet.

   2. L’Occitane!! Or Tony Moly for a cheaper option.

      1. +1 on L’Occitane. They have a variety of scents to choose from but I like the original hand cream the best.

         1. L’Occitane almond (green tube) is my favorite. I love smelling my hands when I have put that one on!

   3. Sorry you’ve had to evacuate. My parents have too (they’re fine) and fortunately we haven’t had to ourselves in the East Bay. I like Alba Botanica hand lotion, but the scents are mild (which I prefer).

   4. Archipelago Botanicals

   5. Also love L’Occitane, the blue one. Whole Foods has a pretty good dupe as far as creaminess, but different scents.

   6. Not hand lotion. But just want to put in a plug for my new favorite–Malin + Goetz’s rum-scented hand and body wash (Nordstrom carries). I just bought it for a pick-me-up, and it is pure heaven. I don’t know if it’s so much a rum smell but more like a light pina colada kind of smell. It’s kind of warm smelling but not at all like like that fake sickly sweet vanilla smell you get with candles. Just amazing. I’m excited to try more from the brand. It’s the little things keeping me going right now.

2. Thanks to whoever recommended the hummus chicken “recipe” earlier this week…maybe Marie? Made for a quick and different lunch today.

   1. Tell me more about this. I don’t usually buy hummus … can I just pick up a tub at Trader Joe’s, dip the raw chicken in it, then dip it in panko and bake as I normally would? Does it take a cup of hummus per pound of chicken or IDK a tablespoon or the whole tub?

      1. I would say 1-2 Tbsp per piece of chicken (thigh, breast, whatever). I used a thigh. Then roll in maybe 2 Tbsp of panko. Then I did 375 for 20 minutes. Yes you can buy hummus at TJs in a variety of flavors!!

         1. Thanks, I’m going to try this! It sounds pretty simple and likely to be delicious.

      2. I would spoon the houmous over the chicken rather than dipping the chicken in the houmous, so that you can avoid contaminating the houmous with raw chicken juice.

3. An amazing mentor of mine is leaving our firm for an incredible opportunity. It’s a wonderful move for her, but I’m so sad I won’t be working with her every day. She’s one of those amazing women you never forget. What’s a good parting gift? She’s maybe 10-12 years older than I am and is senior to me, but our relationship long since passed from colleague into friend.

   1. Heartfelt handwritten note!

      1. +1,000,000. Trust me – she will treasure this. And she doesn’t want you to spend your money on “stuff” for her. And keep in touch after – you never know – you might end up colleagues again!

      2. +1 to all this!

   2. If she will be working from an actual office in her new job, consider flowers or a plant to be delivered in her first few days there. And yes to the heartfelt note.

      1. This! My favorite associate-turned-good-friend sent me a plant on my first day after I left to go in house, and I still think of her 8+ years later and smile when I walk past the plant.

4. I was too late to respond in the morning post, sorry.
   My org has been actively onboarding all through the pandemic, and I have a new hire that’s been on board for about 2 months now.
   -I’m not sure if your new hires are college grads or more experienced? That may make a difference b/c my hire is experienced and is more attuned to “office norms” etc. Ie, I only have to teach her the oddities of “our way” not “this is general office behavior.”
   -I’ve actually been prioritizing coming into the office together, 1-2/x week. It’s helpful for our role (some things can’t be taken home) and there’s just no substitute for making that in-person connection.
   -for people that she’s not likely to meet in person any time soon, but needs to interact with asap, I set up a whole slew of 1:1 zoom meet and greets. Maybe only 1-2 per day, but some personal time to discuss roles and to start putting faces with names. I find it really helped because New Hire has a sense of people’s individual styles? Idiosyncrasies? Etc.
   -I actually just orchestrated a very casual “check in, how’s it going” under the guise of teaching New Hire some methodologies of things that they are likely to encounter at our office. It was extremely helpful to both of us bc it highlighted some stuff I need to be doing more of as the team lead (helping to prioritize tasking), which I promptly followed up on.
   -I agree with AM poster’s comments about communicating and maybe over-communicating expectations and norms… just blame it on “now that we’re all figuring out this remote thing lol… ”
   -Something I did not think about. We just threw electronics at New Hire and hoped for the best. Well, they all work :-) but they really are feeling the need to organize and really set up the home office… and felt badly doing that on billable time, so they weren’t doing it, and it was affecting productivity. I made it clear (YMMV) that an hour spent cleaning the decks is well spent if it clears mental clutter too! Maybe your hires are struggling with something and they just need to know that it’s okay to take an hour, half day, whatever to organize it / deal with it / do the paperwork / etc?
   -How are you communicating (email, chat, text, etc)? Do they know the norms of what channels are appropriate/expected and which aren’t? That could be some of it… I know there are some people that I text to their personal cell and it’s NBD, but others I would not DREAM of texting, and it has nothing to do with hierarchy. Maybe they are interpreting emails < phone calls or something?

   1. This is great advice!

   2. I like this except for the part where you’re making people come in 1-2x per week. Sure, it could be helpful or nice, but not in a pandemic. We all have to give up our dream scenarios for things right now.

      1. Not the OP, but I am an essential employee and can be in the office every day, so I think one day a week for my type of job is helpful for having an in-office day, especially if newbies can be in the office then to deal with any questions and do direct training. FWIW, we have personal offices with doors and a giant conference room (I’ve had smaller apartments) with giant screens and wear masks when not in our personal offices.

      2. Our offices are open, up to 50% capacity. It’s not a “dream.” People are actually doing this in many places.

5. Thank you to whoever posted a few weeks ago about doing “girl scout surgery” or something along those lines to a plant branch that had almost snapped, and they taped a stick to it. I’ve used that twice now to my monster cherry tomato plant! It keeps falling over because it’s very top heavy (and 6ft tall!) despite my cage, and there are cherry tomatoes still producing thanks to my chopstick splinters.

   1. Haha, awesome :) I’ve never heard it called that before, but I like it. We’re using a similar method to support a very young apple tree that has 3 apples on one limb!

   2. That was me! My plant is still going strong and producing tomatoes on the injured branch. I’m so glad it worked for you too!

      1. Ps if you really want to go deep on this next year, look into pruning and string staking to prevent the top heavy thing. It’s kinda fun.

6. I recently started on allergy meds that list weight gain as a side effect. I am hoping just to be on them for the summer and to taper off once it dries out and our mold counts go down. This year they are off the charts! At any rate, I think that this makes my COVID-15 complete. “Weight gain” isn’t quantified and if I am gaining much more, I won’t have any clothes that fit. I am trying to up my exercise, but with homeschooling 2.0 and WFH, it’s hard to find the time and another side effect is drowsiness, so the night time dose really saps my energy. Has anyone found this side effect to be > 10 pounds (was already up 5)? My vanity can’t take much more of this. And the wallet hit with having to shop is unwelcome after a salary reduction also due to . . . COVID economy. Ugh.

   1. So some thoughts– I am the type of person that was at one point taking 3-5 allergy medicines for most of the year before I started allergy shots. I really did feel like I gained weight during the times of year when my allergies were the worst (and I was taking the most meds). My clothes fit like I’d gained about 5lbs during those times, but I think the fluctuation on the scale was only about 1-2 lbs. (I especially felt like this when I was doing the build up for allergy shots.) I felt like I was crazy for thinking the antihistamines were making me feel that way, but when I did some research, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence that use of antihistamines causes some weight gain in a lot of people in a roundabout way. The medication dries you out, so you are hungrier when you actually need water. I would start by trying to drink more water than you think you need.

      If you are really having severe weight gain, I would try to get switched to a different medication. I was on an OTC allergy medication a few years ago that gave me anxiety, racing heart, chest spasms, all kinds of side effects, etc. that were listed as “rare” side effects. Luckily, when I came in with all of these unexplained symptoms, my doctor thought to change medications since I would not have made the connection at all. You may need another medication, and hopefully, your doctor can find one that works for you.

   2. I was someone who never had to watch my weight. Then I ended up on meds (not allergy meds) that caused weight gain. Being home, I also would cook myself a big breakfast. I’m someone who snacks frequently throughout the day too.

      I’ve stopped gaining and actually lost 5 of the 15 by getting a Fitbit and using MyFitnessPal to calorie track. I had never measured portions before. I’m not going crazy with it. I initially set my goal as just to maintain. I’ve made sure to get 10,000 steps a day. I can get 5,000 just around the house usually and then I walk 2 miles to get the other 5,000.

      Just being aware of where I was getting a lot of hidden calories was so useful. I’m using plain mustard now that is zero calories instead of the 150 calorie honey mustard I loved. I use less mayo and only once in awhile. I put less butter on my morning egg sandwich. I’m starting to figure out what dinners are high calorie (steak, looking at you) and low calorie (hi, Salmon) and try not to drink alcohol on the high calorie nights, though I will have a little red wine with steak because I really believe it does enhance the taste.

      I swore I wouldn’t be someone that weighs food but it is really so much easier than counting, and guessing and doing math. Weighing is just so easy and that way I know what I’m really consuming. There are still days my calories in are greater than my calories out but I love that at the end of each day I it will tell me based on my weight that morning and what I ate and exercised that day, what I would weigh in five weeks if every day was like today.

      It shows me a “cheat” day isn’t that bad but also I couldn’t just eating as much as I wanted without exercising and not expect to gain weight.

      1. You can get 5,000 steps just around your house?? Man, when I was working from home I was barley moving at all. I am impressed!

         1. Ha! Part of it is deliberate, like taking conference calls on a wireless headset and pacing around the house during it. Part of it is ADHD and a scatterbrain so if I try to have lunch at my desk I’m going up and down the stairs 6 times because I forgot my drink, and a napkin, and now I want salt. I also have two dogs that are loving the game of let me out / let me in all day so I run the stairs to open the door fairly often. I also have it set to remind me in the last 10 minutes of every hour for the 10 hours I work to get 250 steps so that gets me 2500. I also have a fairly large house to do laps within.

7. Just put an offer in on a new house…!

   1. Congratulations Vicky!!! :)

   2. Woo hoo!

   3. Good luck!

   4. Woo hoo!! So exciting!! Good luck!

8. I shopped the anniversary sale at the local Nordstrom store, and was able to see almost everything in the sale I was interested in. Based on people’s comments about everything being sold out online, I had thought I wouldn’t be able to find anything, but definitely not the case. I bought the draped collar blazer pictured here for $39, and it’s nicer than I expected, and comfortable. It will work on casual days at the office, and for going out for dinner or coffee. I am thinking about going back for another one.

   I also bought a cashmere scarf / wrap in a soft gray not pictured here, and will get a lot of use in my frigid office. (By frigid, I mean on the coldest day in New England last year, the air conditioning in my office was going strong!)

9. I posted here recently to share that my fiancé and I have an October deadline for making a final decision about whether or not to postpone our December 2020 wedding (our decision will be based on vaccine/treatment progress, state laws, and number of positive cases as of October). As the majority of you suggested, postponement seems wisest at this time and there is a VERY good chance that we’ll end up eloping this fall/winter and postponing our 200-person reception to late 2021.

   My dilemma is that I have started floating the idea to close relatives about us eloping now and postponing the reception and response has been…shockingly bad. People close to me (relatives, not friends) are very upset and are taking it personally that they won’t be invited to this theoretical private marriage ceremony. All of these people are liberals who practice social distancing and none of them are “Covid is a hoax” types. However, they are trying to get us to push the whole marriage (ceremony and reception) out to spring 2021 (I don’t see why things would be substantially better that soon); move outdoors (we’ve already put deposits on an indoor venue); invite ONLY them and their spouses/children for a micro-ceremony (which would offend other relatives); and a whole litany of other frustrating suggestions.

   For what it’s worth, my fiancé and I are not planning on a “secret” elopement. We are planning to tell family members in advance.

   I guess my question is…for any of you who have eloped, how did your families react and how did you handle any fallout? I am generally close to my family, so this is not great.

   1. Having a wedding is not an option so do whatever you want and tune everyone out. Why are you soliciting their opinions?

      1. My husband and I eloped and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Nobody got a say in it, and we didn’t tell them until after it was legal and couldn’t be undone. If they felt any type of way, it was on them! If you think you’re going to elope, I’d stop telling people about your plans because not everyone will understand. Just go make it legal and how DARE anyone say anything other than “congratulations”! My family generally understood we didn’t want the drama and hassle of a big to-do. It’s also very understandable that you don’t want to wait given the uncertainty of literally everything. It’s your day, do it your way.

         1. +1 – exactly this. You just go do it and tell people after and they have no choice but to be polite.

      2. +1 I think the number one rule of eloping is not telling people beforehand.

         1. Isn’t that the definition of eloping? I mean, if you tell people before, isn’t it just a small wedding?

   2. I think that there is such a gulf between “wedding ceremony” and “being married.” I come from practical people (like they would offer to pay for a good ladder to help with the elopement) and not fans of the marital-industrial complex. They acted like guests at my wedding vs parents of the bride who often try to make the day all about them (to be sure, I had been on my own for a good while before getting married; had my own house and everything). It’s too bad that you can’t just jump the broom or start holding yourself out as married. But maybe you can say: if I get sick, they will have to call Bobby and Bobby can come take care of me; and if Bobby gets sick then I will be who gets called and that is important to us in this day and time. But ultimately, if you are happily married, they shouldn’t care; being happily married takes a lot more work and is a lot more of an accomplishment than a wedding ceremony. [And for marriages that don’t work out: hey; it’s a joint effort; sometimes that’s not there; sometime better to control+alt+delete and try to find other happiness.]

   3. My family reacted well because they believe my life is mine to live how I please. Do what works for *you*!

   4. My husband and I were supposed to get married in July 2020. Obviously, this didn’t happen—however—we did go down to the courthouse and got married with just us and my parents. Family was/is largely supportive and everyone understood why we postponed. Now our biggest issue is deciding how far out we can safely have a scaled-down ceremony and reception next year. Originally we were thinking May 2021 but who knows how things will look then? Getting married was the most important thing to us—regardless of what family had to say. Bottom line: you two, do you!

      1. Maybe other faiths have this as well, but in the Book of Common Prayer (for us Whiskeypalians), there is a ceremony actually called “Blessing of a Civil Marriage” or some such and is for just this situation. It is for when the couple is already married but then wants a church wedding. Like how in Europe they get married twice.

         1. I love this suggestion! We are Christian (more or less non-denominational) and also want to have a vow renewal or some sort of ceremonial aspect at the postponed event. Thank you so much. I will look into the “Blessing of a Civil Marriage.”

         2. We did this as well, and if you were not paying attention, you would never have realized we were already married by the court.

   5. Any time you try to get married without your parents there you can’t be shocked they hate it.

   6. I think you’re using the word “elope” incorrectly and maybe this is confusing your family. I think eloping has an element of deliberately excluding families because you want to exclude them, while in your case your desire for a private ceremony is due to the pandemic. Stop using the word elopement, but you can hold fast to the idea of a private ceremony if this is what you prefer.

      1. Ah this resonates with me a lot, as I work in communications. You’re right that perhaps I need to reevaluate my language here and reframe the scenario without using a word that may be throwing people off. Thank you!

   7. Being married gives you important legal rights to/from each other, including the right to be on another’s insurance, which may be very, very important during a pandemic. What is wrong with people to ask you to delay getting married?! Get married. You both deserve those protections if that if how you feel towards each other. If they can’t deal with it, then it’s not worth putting off being married for them. Ugh! Sorry you are dealing with all of this.

   8. This is just the beginning of everyone having opinions on how you two will live your lives?

      When are you getting engaged? Here’s how to do it.
      When are you getting married? Here’s how you do it.
      When are you having a baby? Here’s when you should do it.

      When are you having another baby? Here’s the optimal number of kids and timing.

      When are you going to stop having babies? Here’s how many you should stop at

      Where are you sending your children to preschool/school? Here’s where you should absolutely send them

      It never stops. Draw a line in the sand. The important thing is your marriage, not your wedding. Establish yourself as an independent couple now. You can thank people for their opinions or say “how interesting” in a really not-interested way, or if you’re close enough you can say you’re not soliciting opinions. Everyone is always going to be telling you how wrong you’re doing things.

      In the greater scheme, you didn’t prevent your relatives from being able to see your wedding. COVID did. They need that perspective. Live your life! Congratulations!

      1. This is outstanding advice. This is the kind of advice that saves you thousands of dollars in therapy and might even save your marriage.

         Don’t ask me how I know this unless you hand me a drink and a box of tissues.

         1. Yes, you are using “eloping” incorrectly. By definition, eloping is a surprise/secret that the others don’t find out until after the fact.

      2. This is so so true, and it is why in general I rarely provide information about my life plans to people beyond my innermost circle, and even most of those people know me well enough to know that I am almost never interested in unsolicited opinions on such matters. Other people outside of that circle probably think I’m standoffish and maybe even rude, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay.

      3. I am an Old, and married going on two decades. Anon at 3:47 has it totally right.

      4. I need to save your response – such good advice for so many situations!

   9. Stop calling it an elopement. Elope literally means to get married secretly. This isn’t a minor point; a lot of people get very cranky when the couple has a secret marriage, then invites everyone to a fake ceremony and a big reception months later.

      Tell your liberal relatives that you are doing the paperwork part of the marriage in December and will be having the party when it’s safe for everyone, which is way more fun.

   10. My initial response is that it is your wedding, you’ll never be able to make everyone else happy, and you should just do what you want. My husband and I actually eloped, and although sometimes I regret it a little, I think in the same circumstances we’d make the same decision. But. One of my close relatives eloped because due to an illness, they had to get married right away. Although I completely understand, and it has not affected our relationship at all, I was sad. I was sad for them not getting the wedding they had been considering, and sad for me to not see them make their vows.

       Based on my experience, I suggest you stop floating the idea, and instead inform people of your choice. Only you and your fiance can decide what is best. But, I also urge you to consider that these people love you, they’ve been looking forward to your wedding, and are disappointed both for you and for themselves. To me, if you can say to those people something like “This is not what any of us wanted, but we will be getting married privately in October. I hope your thoughts will be with us on our wedding day! Because I love (or care for you), I will not have a party right now. Fiance and I are so looking forward to when it’s safe to have the reception we’ve dreamed of, and we can’t wait to see you there.”

       Summary — it’s your wedding, your choice, tell them like it is but with love.

   11. I think you keep reminding them that this is not your ideal scenario, either, and that during the time of COVID it is impossible to find a solution that works for all. Keep reminding them that you’re excited to celebrate with the whole fam bam at your winter 2021 reception.

       I’m sorry; they sound completely unreasonable. These are not normal circumstances!

       1. Thank you! And, yes, this is extremely far from my ideal scenario. Great point!

   12. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t breathe another word about eloping to anyone (aside from maybe a close girlfriend) and just go ahead and do it when you want without anyone’s “advice”. They’ll get over it. I’ve found over the years that the more you tell people your plans about any major life event, the more you invite unsolicited opinions from insensitive people.

       I’m so sorry about your wedding, this must be so hard. I think eloping sounds lovely and romantic!

   13. If you “elope” you are cancelling your indoor venue, right? Could you then have a small outdoor ceremony and celebration with your closest family and friends? Say 20 or fewer people outdoors? My good friend just did the exact same thing. The rented chairs and spaced them out so each family unit was spaced 6 feet from the next and got married in their backyard. It was actually really pretty and done well. They had a champagne toast and cake after, no meal. They also used disposable flutes and plates so no one was touching or washing dirty dishes. People threw out their own stuff.

       1. ^^ This is what most people I know have done, including my brother. Small ceremony with either just immediate family or just bridal party, reception postponed until later. I think all of them are relieved to have just gotten married and had wonderful ceremonies.

          You could also do a Zoom broadcast of the small wedding, but I kind of think that would be more of a hassle than anything.

       2. We would postpone rather than cancel the reception. We can’t actually cancel without losing a significant amount of money and (if I’m honest) without losing the wedding reception I’ve daydreamed of for years. As I shared in my last post, my family is very diverse ethnically and one culture has historically put a HUGE emphasis on weddings. My fiancé is an introvert with a small family who probably wouldn’t have cared before he met me, but he has gotten excited for the big celebration in spite of himself.

          1. Are you talking Indian culture? Either way, too bad so sad – it’s a pandemic and that’s how it goes.

             1. I don’t want to get too specific for privacy reasons! I hope that’s understandable.

             2. It’s not too bad, so sad for a big wedding, it’s too bad, so sad for a big wedding during COVID, there’s a difference.
                If a big wedding is important to OP, for whatever reasons, it can happen after COVID. COVID doesn’t have to mean she never gets the party/reception of her dreams, or even that she can’t reenact the ceremony if that’s what her and fiance wish.

   14. Is there a reason you’re going forward with the ceremony without the traditional wedding? Can it wait? I feel like it probably seems silly to you but people might just be disappointed that they can’t actually witness your ceremony, even if there will be a re-enactment or a party later.

       Also Ive known more than one couple who have had a small ceremony and planned on a big party later that never happened. That’s not to say it’s bad, I think those couples were thrilled and,once married, saw no need for a big wedding. But it is disappointing to the would be party-goer.

       1. I see what you mean. In our case (barring a dramatic life circumstance like severe illness) we absolutely WILL eventually hold the reception. We have put down non-refundable deposits and we are very much “wedding” people. I want to put my expensive dress and venue to good use, someday :)

   15. You need to make your decision and announce it instead of continuing to gather information until October or whatever. Nothing COVID related is going to change significantly between now and then, so why keep agonizing over this decision?

       1. In our state and nearby states, all markers have dropped dramatically in the past month and hospitals (I work in healthcare, non-caregiver) are feeling much more optimistic. Some days I wonder if we are just torturing ourselves by waiting, too, but overall I think the additional month could provide insight.

          1. You think that in October, she is going to decide that it will be safe to hold a December wedding with 100+ people indoors? And that people are going to RSVP yes to that?

             In my state and nearby states, numbers are stable. But if they were to dip, then they plan to reopen gyms/indoor dining/increase indoor event capacities, which would then make the numbers rise to the current level again or beyond … so it’s not going to get any safer than it is right now for quite some time.

             1. Gyms, indoor dining, and some events are open in my stare, and have been for 2 plus months. The state also has one of the lowest transmission rates, and schools open after Labor Day. Numbers haven’t appreciably risen, although numbers will go up and down from now until, well, forever.

                Someone who actually works in health care have a somewhat positive opinion. Since none of us can actually read the future, if it helps OP to wait, she can wait another month.

             2. I don’t think there’s anything helpful about the extreme denial of taking it day by day. At this point, it’s kind of ridiculous. Even at the start of the pandemic when people actually believed that it was only going to be two weeks … yikes. Then two more weeks … and two more weeks for infinity? Let’s just go ahead and say it’s going to be a whole month and October isn’t going to be safe. Neither is December.

   16. You made your own bed by soliciting everyone’s opinions. Figure out what you and fiancé want to do, and then do it. They will all get over it.

   17. We didn’t elope per se (I still think of elopement as getting married without telling anyone in advance), but we did have a tiny wedding with just parents and siblings (not COVID-related — our families would not have meshed well at all, so a big shindig would have been disastrous). Some people were probably miffed, but I don’t care. The wedding is for us. Almost 14 years later, we are just as married. If you want to throw a bone to some people, you could broadcast it via Zoom, but you are not obligated. And honestly, anyone who is complaining to you about how you arrange YOUR OWN WEDDING is kind of terrible.

   18. The nicest thing about eloping (aside from being married to my spouse) is that typically you don’t tell people before hand, so they don’t get to have input. Mind they tend to complain after the event, but if you’re planning a reception at a later date, it makes for an easy announcement/invite to reception. So maybe, don’t tell anyone, let them have feelings after the event if they need to, and have an extra glass of virtual champagne for getting married from this internet stranger!

10. Re answer I don’t give for bad interview questions re my dream job where bland just won’t do:

    My goal is to be a disruptive royal mistress, mother of favored children, subject of scandalous nude portrait hung over fire place at hunting lodge. Possibly I arrange for horrible ends to rivals in a way that makes telenovelas look tame.

    I was born at the wrong time. Definitely with the wrong figure. So here I am working in an office.

    1. Yikes, dream bigger. Why would you want to be a mistress? Dream bigger. At least be Princess Margaret or something, not someone’s sidepiece.

       1. I’m a commoner. So at least not inbred for that period in time. But not marriage material (unless something unfortunate were to befall the Queen). Maybe morganatic second marriage material.

       2. Because wives have to do all the boring stuff ;)

    2. Heh. I would totally hire you if you gave that answer.

       1. Me too!

    3. I want to read the biography of dream you!

    4. In my college Spanish class about 10 years ago I had to write a paper about my dream job and wrote about how I wanted to be First Lady. My TA was supremely offended because “women can be President too.” I had to explain to her, in Spanish, that I understood and can’t wait to have out first female President, but I want to be First Lady.

       1. Right? Kings get poisoned and stuff I want to be near the center of he action but off-center a bit. Where it is fun.

11. Does anyone use hand sanitizer spray (as opposed to gels)? I like them, but they also seem a bit like the scented body sprays that my kids have (in fact, exactly the same). Maybe I can repurpose those sprays? I swear my kids like them only in the store; otherwise, they gather dust.

    If there is a material difference in sanitizer spray vs other alcohol-based sprays, I still like the sanitizer sprays. The gel ones seem to be so goopy if in a tube and go everwhere.

    1. I love the Trader Joe’s ones. They smell like citrus fruit and are $1.99 each.

12. This list of what everyone bought from NAS just makes me laugh. It shows no one is planning to work from an office any time soon, except for the couple of people who bought jackets I guess.

    It would be so interesting to see how it compares to prior years.

    1. I bought….six pairs of Zella leggings. Leaning into WFH style (the ones featured yesterday are my fave!)

    2. Jackets don’t necessarily mean you are going back into the office. I still wear jackets (over t-shirts) for Zoom hearings and meetings.

    3. I bought the colarless ponte knit jacket that was featured here, and when it arrived I tried it on and thought “why on earth would anybody wear a jacket?” And back it went.

       And I’ve even been going to the office this whole time. And I have always been the Jacket Queen. But I’m just done.

    4. I wasn’t going to buy anything from the NAS because I don’t think I’ll ever work in an office and have enough work clothes. But I wanted CZ earrings to wear everyday. They were $20. I missed wearing earrings. The CZ are posts that don’t irritate my ears and that – hopefully – won’t catch on my face-mask like my dangle and/or french wire earrings do.

       And then I browsed and I bought the Halogen cardigan and the Zella comfy leggings from this week.

13. I wear padded bike shorts when I bike in the summer and have a badded bike seat. Is there such a thing as padded bike pants for when it cools off? Covid-times have be biking much more since gyms are still closed in my state and I’d like to continue this once it cools off.

    1. Can’t you just put joggers or sweatpants over your padded bike shorts?

    2. I don’t know about that but there are leg warmers for cycling (also arm warmers). Basically like the pant legs without the pants.

       1. https://www.rei.com/c/womens-cycling-arm-and-leg-warmers

          1. This might work without making me look like the Michelin man!

    3. I have some thermal Pearl Izumi (?) padded cycling tights that I picked up on the river site and they’re not bad for when it cools off.

    4. Yep, they’re a thing.

    5. Look up padded bike tights.

14. Are there any stepparents who can offer advice in this situation? A good friend of mine is a stepmom of 2 and expecting her first baby. She and her DH and really agonizing over the social distancing stuff, especially in light of her pregnancy. They have been very conservative; when the big kids are with their mom, they are going out and doing a lot more. But they’re both really frustrated that they’re taking it more seriously than the ex and are worried about being exposed through the girls. So what’s reasonable, here? Can they ask the ex to be a little more cautious in light of my friend’s pregnancy & exposure to the girls, or is that asking for trouble? She’s asking for advice on how we handle kids’ activities during the pandemic, but I do not have experience with being part of a blended family. It seems like most of the communication is between her DH & his ex, as far as what the expectations are. I don’t think my friend and the ex have a relationship at all.

    1. The DH needs to take this on yesterday!
       There are two fronts~ the ex and the kids. If your friend does not push this (and he’s not done do already??!!) she will end up staying with a newborn in one room if her own home for protection from the older kids.
       Uggh.

       1. Nope. Not acceptable. Not how families work.

    2. I think she needs to accept that there’s some risk. She cannot dictate that mom becomes a hermit

       1. Yup. And whatever the mom does, definitely do not punish the older children. They can’t be blamed for the mom’s decisions.

          1. They wouldn’t be punished. But you have to protect the people under your own roof. Or do germs magically vanish because they are kids with step parents of different habits?

             1. Nope, germs don’t magically vanish. But they’re a family, and you don’t punish minor children because their parents can’t reach agreement on something.

                To be clear, I think OP’s husband can ask his ex whatever he wants and hopefully they will be able to reach a compromise everyone is comfortably with. But I think it’s relatively unlikely, especially if they’re far apart on the risk tolerance spectrum. My own husband and I don’t see eye to eye on many Covid-related decisions and many friends are in the same boat with their spouses, and we’re all coming from a place of love and affection, which often isn’t the case with ex spouses.

                My point is that if, even after talking about it and attempting to compromise, OP and her husband feels the mom’s behavior is too risky, they cannot punish the children for it by preventing them from visiting or being around their new sibling. That would be cruel and borderline abusive.

             2. Of course they don’t. But not everyone gets to be perfectly safe that’s reality. And telling your step children they can’t see you and their new sibling in their own home is unhinged.

       2. Sadly, I think you’re right.

    3. I think this has been the subject of at least one Carolyn Hax column/chat and many Reddit AITA posts. Possibly worth looking around on the internet for advice (maybe not from the entitled Reddit teenagers, tho).

    4. In a similar situation, my husband and I agreed to follow whatever our doctor suggested in terms of risk and distancing. And my helpful doctor gave me great guidelines and reasons why. Then he suggested we follow the rules with EVERYONE ALWAYS – no exceptions for “friends” or “family” or “just this once”. It really helped.

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