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Thursday’s TPS Report: Walk the Line Blazer

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Nasty Gal Blazer#GirlBoss is still on my reading list, but I'm definitely paying more attention to the company Sophia Amoruso founded: NastyGal, so named for a Betty Davis song. What started as a vintage eBay store grew to a $100M+ online fashion retailer — and yet somehow it's kept its vintage, fun vibe. This red blazer — fully lined, and handwashable — looks cool, particularly with the notched hem in the back. It's $78 at Nasty Gal, available in sizes XXS-XL. Nasty Gal Walk the Line Blazer Here's a red plus-size blazer. Psst: Totally unrelated, but I doubt inventory will hold until next Thursday: this dress just got marked down from $178 to $99 and looks super cool.

Sales of note for 1/22/25:

  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

233 Comments

  1. Sorry for the immediate TJ, but I’m hoping you ladies can help me with some vicarious shopping. Do you all have any recommendations for some cute booties in the ~$100 or less range? I really need some that will work with skirts/dresses and skinny pants, are appropriate for business casual work place, and (this is a big one) won’t put my life in danger on my half mile commute on the slushy streets of Boston. Thanks in advance!

      1. I’d like something with a very low or no heel and leather/pleather/not suede fabric.

        1. Sam edelman petty is a little over your budget but they are great. Mine have held up very well and are super comfortable even walking in them all day.

          1. +1 for the Petty. They are ALL over the internets right now and while I didn’t love them for me personally (I wanted a heeled bootie), they’re comfy and a great style. You may be able to stalk some on clearance somewhere.

          2. I have these, but they wouldn’t be my first pick for a walking commute on messy sidewalks. They don’t have much/any traction, and I am not sure how they would hold up (mine are suede, so maybe leather would be better, especially if you used some kind of protective spray).

            I would look for something more like this: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/timberland-earthkeepers-bethel-ankle-boot-women/3724102?origin=category&BaseUrl=Booties (a bit over budget, but wait for a sale or check DSW for similar). Or have separate commuting shoes/boots.

    3. Thanks for the suggestions. Just to clarify, I have been wearing snow boots on my commute, but I’m going on a business trip to somewhere slightly less cold and snowy and want some shoes that can wear to the office and on the trip so I don’t have to lug multiple pairs of boots/flats with me on the trip.

    4. I can’t search for links right now, but look at Borns. They have a bunch of boots with flat soles that are rubber with traction, but not huge lugged soles right now. But I would look at the new styles on Nordies, etc, not the sale sites.

  2. I would love some brainstorming from you all… my job is great, but the workload can really vary and I often find myself with nothing to do. Unfortunately, I am basically chained to my desk from 8-5, so am finding myself having to kill a lot of time on the Internet — sometimes it feels like my brain is turning to mush! What would you all do if you had this much free time at work? I’m looking for suggestions that would benefit me more than just mindless reading blogs, shopping, and checking FB/Twitter. Thanks!!!

      1. Kindle app on my computer is my lifesaver, coupled with borrowing e-books from the library. Looks like I’m reading a PDF so to everyone who walks by it just looks like I’m enthralled in my work, not Gone Girl.

    2. Are there any courses you’d like to take?

      I am trying to fit Rosetta Stone in right now, make myself do 30 minutes each weeknight and more on the weekends, but I would LOVE to be able to do it at work.

      There are also a few designations I would work on if I had time.

      2. Rosetta Stone would be great, unfortunately it’s not in my budget. But yes, FREE courses would be great — any suggestions for those?

          1. My library has access to a lot of online classes in many subjects – definitely see what yours has to offer.

        2. Coursera.com lets your take classes from different universities and they all different topics ranging from English courses to Psychology.

        4. If you’re interested in learning a langauge, you can also check Duolingo or Mango Languages. Duolingo is a free app. Mango Languages is free through many libraries.

        5. MIT has open courseware (similar to Corsera) everything from Econ to nuclear physics. Google MIT open courses. Courses have syllabi, class notes, often videos, powerpoints, supplemental materials. Some you need to get a textbook (often available online via textbook publisher’s websites) sometimes not needed. You couldn’t do the verbal part of learning a language but you could do the written part – big selection of languages.

          You could write a book. (That’s what I would love to do.)

          There are also online classes for Project Management Certification, Human Resources Certification, Certified Management Accountant etc., and depending on your field, these could really pay off in the future.

        6. Not free – but you could learn new software or upgrade your skills on what you use now on Lynda.com for $25 a month. Depending on your position you could even ask your bosses if they would pay for it in order for you to upgrade your skills in Excel, Powerpoint, Filemaker, Dreamweaver, Illustrator, WordPress – whatever software you use.

          Of for free- you could try checking out a book from your public library on the software you want to learn. Or start your own blog on your hobby of choosing – that’s what a friend of mine did when his work was slow and but he need to sit at his desk 8-5.

          Otherwise – plan your life? Make your grocery lists and meal plans, organize your finances using Mint or YNAB, etc

    3. Take up some volunteer work that can be done on the computer, at your own pace. To kill two birds with one stone, pick a cause that you care about and that is related to your career. For example, I might choose a group that encourages the participation of young girls in STEM. Though the work would depend on what the group actually needs, you could do things like help organize a donor database, write social media posts, copyedit documents, etc. This type of work is both personally satisfying, and can lead to great new connections .

    4. Professional development webinars? I do this a lot when work is slow. Is there a professional organization you can join where you can do some digital volunteer work (blog postings, social media management, etc…)

    5. I have the a similar schedule regarding work. Sometimes I literally have nothing to do, but I can work from home and right now I have to. Have you tried podcasts? If you haven’t listened to Serial yet, there are 11 episodes and they’re addictive.

      1. Also check out Delancey Place…short selections from non fiction books, usually very interesting. Emailed to you daily.

    8. Is there something career-development wise you can do? Like working on an article, taking continuing education classes on line (if you’re a lawyer, PLI offers a ton of classes streaming).
      I totally sympathize — coming back from my first maternity leave, I had so little to do but had to be in the office so I could get work when it became available. I set minor goals for myself each day (e.g., today I’m going to organize this set of files/listen to this 3 hour CLE/etc.) to help the day go faster.

    9. Can you get out of the office? I use this kind of time to do coffee catchups with friends who work nearby. If not, call friends to catchup? Obviously this won’t work if you don’t have an office but if you do I find this all a good way to balance the work/life thing.

  3. I’m interested in hearing what people think about a situation I’m in.

    My car was scratched up in a parking lot over the weekend. The guy who did it waited for me, gave me all his information, and asked that I let him know the price of repair, which he would pay out of pocket. The rear panel of my car, between the wheel well and the bumper, is scratched pretty heavily on the lower part, but there are no dents or anything like that. My car is nine years old; I’m planning to drive it for another six years, and while it doesn’t look great, it doesn’t particularly bother me. (Maybe it’s relevant that there aren’t any other scratches or dings on the car.)

    I got the repair priced yesterday, and it’s over $600. I’m inclined to just let it go — that is a ridiculous price to pay for a cosmetic issue — body work is so expensive! — and in six years, I suspect it won’t affect the resale price too much. But part of me wonders if I’m being a soft touch, since the guy did damage my car. If it was $200, it would be a no-brainer. What does the Hive think?

    1. Send the guy the $600 estimate and see what he says. This isn’t really about whether you think it’s “worth it” to spend $600 on a 9 year old car – this is about the fact that someone damaged your property and owes it to you to restore your property to its pre-damaged condition. If the guy doesn’t want to pay or starts to fight with you, you can always make the decision not go through insurance and to just leave it alone at that point, but to not ask at all because you think the price of the repair (that is someone else’s responsibility to pay for!) is ridiculous? Yeah, you’re being kind of a soft touch, there.

      If you’re really extremely uncomfortable with the price, get a second estimate to reassure yourself that it’s a fair price for the work, then send the guy the lower of the two estimates.

      1. If it went down to bare metal than it can significantly increase the probability of causing rust. Get it fixed.

    3. 1. Did you take it to more than one place for an estimate?
      2. Tell him the price and see how he reacts.
      3. If you want, tell him you are inclined not to get it fix, but will take $X amount to offset the cost if you change you mind.

    4. Get it fixed. I’ve been in your situation before, and I felt the same way. But really, it’s simple. His mistake, he fixes it. Don’t go soft. Agree with poster above about getting a second estimate.

      1. For what it’s worth, I learned when I was rear-ended several years ago and the person who hit me didn’t want to go through his “insurance” that body shops charge different rates to insurers vs. regular people, so that may be part of the reason the price seems high to you. But don’t forget they’re charging you for labor, as well. And getting a second estimate certainly won’t hurt.

    6. You should get it fixed. If you’re planning on keeping the car another 6 years, those scratches could easily rust, which will affect the resale price.

      1. And rust may affect your ability to pass state inspection. Definitely get this fixed.

      2. Looks like you have decided to get it fixed, but wanted to add that in addition to risk of rust down the line, there could be structural issues that will only reveal themselves once the repair is underway and they get everything apart. My parents once let someone skate on a minor ding to the side of their car that they did not intend to fix, only to find out later that the impact creased their gas tank (the car was leaking gas). I know someone else who was recently rear ended and the damage looked pretty straight forward until they took it apart and realized it had bent a major structural bar…they totaled a 4 year old high end car because it was deemed unsafe to repair it.

    7. Get it fixed. With scratches in the paint, it’ll rust, and that will affect value way more than just the scratches themselves.

      1. I once scratched someone’s car by accident and had to cough up the dough. That’s just life.

    8. Don’t feel bad about taking the money from him. He probably wants to pay out of pocket so his insurance premium doesn’t increase over a small amount.

  4. This is a girl fail question. Ha. When people refer to puffiness under their eyes what does that mean? I never thought I had it but when I smile little lumps appear and I realized that might be what puffiness means. I’m trying to buy a new eye cream and wondering if anything can be done about those little protrusions.

    2. you know when you have allergies or just wake up and your eyes look kind of swollen from the bottom? If you were to put your finger 1 cm below your lower lashes or so, it would just feel… puffy? That’s what I mean when I say under eye puffiness.

    3. Often times the dark circles that you get under your eyes are actually shadows caused by puffiness. For a while I didn’t really think my eyes were “puffy” even though I spotted the darkness, but apparently that’s what causes it!

      1. Wha, really?! I totally have dark circles but not puffiness – maybe the lid is puffy? Hmmm….

    4. Little white bumps are called “Milia” – you can google that and see if its what you have.

  5. If you suddenly received a $5,000 windfall and you have no debt besides a mortgage, a fully funded 401k, a good emergency fund, etc., what would you do with it?

    1. I would invest it, no question. Especially if you don’t have a particular purpose in mind for it, because you could find something to spend it on, or you could put it away until you find something you actually want, and your $5K will have grown in that time.

    2. Take a trip. No question. Take a week, do whatever appeals to you.

      I personally would take the husband and head to Thailand or Greece for a week or so.

    3. Vacation. No question. You can save and save and then die. Enjoy the little windfalls. I prefer to travel when I get one.

    4. Or a combination, you don’t have to spend it all on one thing.

      Maybe allocate a portion to something “fun” you could not previously justify, a portion to an experience like a short trip, and donate or invest the remainder.

      1. This is always my take. I like to splurge a little and save the rest whenever we get extra money. Even now, when we are in major debt paydown mode. When I received an unexpected $2000 bonus last year, my husband and I went to a nicer dinner that was way more than we would currently ever spend on eating out (but was a small fraction of the total amount), and then threw the rest at the debt.

    5. Spend a small portion of it (less than $500) on something that you normally wouldn’t buy yourself but that would make you happy, and save the rest. For me that would be new bedding (no I don’t “need” it but I’m tired of my current), a Nest thermostat, or a pair of high quality winter boots.

        1. I agree with this. If you really don’t have any other debt, you could always through it at your mortgage to pay down a little principal.

    7. I’d take a 1k and do something fun (trip, new bed, etc.). I’d donate 1k to the cause of my choosing and then invest the 3k.

      1. 1K will get you 1.5 plane tickets to most places that you might want to go to, not realistic for a vacation (presuming you want to go with someone), nor is it enough for a mattress. 5K isn’t the lottery – it’s enough to maybe do a nice-ish week vacay or pay off a credit card, but she doesn’t have debt. It’s not enough to meaningfully invest if you have savings already. I have the impression OP is set enough that 5K isn’t her starter fund.

        1. I’m aware of how much 5k is and realize its not an actual windfall. Plenty of people take a nice vacation for under a grand, nor did I suggest a week long vacation. I don’t see the point in spending money just because you received it, so I don’t think there’s any harm in investing a decent chunk of change and saving it for a rainy day/something you really want.

          I realize I’m not OMGBIGLAW rich, but 5k is actually enough money to do all of the things I suggested. It’s amusing to me that people act as though $5,000 is throwaway money.

          1. I’m not a lawyer, I work for the government and between my spouse and I we make a comfortable, but not extravagant income. $5,000 is a substantial sum of money. My answer (take a trip) was not assuming that this was ‘throwaway’ money, rather it was assuming that I had already met my financial goals and that outside of my normal budget, I had $5k to work with.

            And yes, I would still go to Thailand or Greece.

          2. I consider $5000 a very substantial sum of money. Which is why I would spend the entire $5000 on a trip — otherwise overseas travel is very difficult to fit into the budget. For myself and DH to get from CA to the cheapest destination in Europe is $1500 per person for the round-trip flight, in coach, bare minimum. And that’s flying in shoulder season. That leaves $2000 for connections, housing, all food and sightseeing. I completely agree that $1K is not a one-week or more vacation for two unless you are staying very local and/or camping.

      2. I love your breakdown, though, L, that sounds like the perfect plan to me! ;o)

    8. When my husband and I have gotten inheritances from our grandparents in that dollar range, we have purchased paintings with a sizable chunk before adding the rest into general savings.

      1. I love this idea too. Art is sometimes hard to justify when there are other calls on your $. I used to buy art, before I had kids.

        1. That’s a good idea! We really are comfortable enough that I don’t feel like investing it, and we recently bought new furniture, so I don’t need that. We already have a couple of vacations planned, so it could pay for one of those, but that doesn’t seem very fun. There was an artist we saw in Santa Fe a few years ago that we both LOVE, so I think I might buy one of his paintings!

      2. I would be interested in hearing more about your approach to this – I own a home now, and so I’m starting to think about buying art.

    9. 10% to charity; 45% on something fun (for me probably a vacation), 45% on something practical (repair to the home or car or investments)

      1. Really though don’t. My parents went on one and at 65 were shockingly young. Like, 20 years younger than most other people.

      2. We just need a critical mass to bring down that age. . . did your parents go pre-Downton? I’ll bet that advertising has been invaluable to Viking.

    13. I love the idea of art. But as an alternative, I think I might earmark the money to outsource something for a year (or two, depending). Housekeeper/yard maintenance/laundry/meal delivery. I like to use money to buy back time, since that is also what I sell.

  6. Wondering if anyone has suggestions for a good quality elliptical for a home gym? I’m interested in getting one, but the reviews and consumer reports are all over the place.

    1. I’ve bought all of my home exercise equipment at Sears. I don’t have an elliptical (I have a treadmill) right now, but I’ve looked at them. If you have a Sears near you, I’d suggest going there to look a them and try them. For me, that made a huge difference – to see the features and be able to decide what I cared about or didn’t care about. To get a feel for it. How much space it takes up, etc. The ProForm brand has been good for me and the NordicTrack brand. I would also recommend two things: 1) pay to have it delivered and assembled (makes a huge difference to have it assembled properly with the electronics) and 2) buy the extended warranty. My last treadmill lasted about ten years and I had some electrical problems with it after a few years, but they stuck with me and got it fixed. I would have had to replace it if I didn’t have the warranty.

      1. I do have a sears! I’ve looked at both brands and am unfamiliar with the hierarchy. All my experience has been in a gym (Precor which is $$$), but a gym membership isn’t actually going to work for me right now.

        1. I was actually going to say precor. I didn’t know they were expensive but it’s good to know my building has the good stuff in the gym.

      2. +1 to Sears. We got a NordicTrack from there a few years ago. Definitely pay for the delivery and setup. However, once it is assembled make sure to test out all the features. With ours, they had swapped the wires for two of the controls so my husband had to fix it. Not a huge deal, but just verify everything

        Also yes to the warranty. I believe you get one service/maintenance call per year with the warranty.

    3. When I looked at treadmills (not an elliptical) you had to spend a lot of money to get a good treadmill, but a good stationary bike was like 1/4 the price of a treadmill, or less. So if your budget is not flexible but your exercise regime is, that could be another thing to look into.

    4. We just bought one, it’s Sole brand. I think it is very well-made and a good value.

  7. Language skills are a pretty big part of my job, and I have a test in about 6 weeks in a language that I used to have a very high level of proficiency in (about 2 years ago) but haven’t used since. I’m finding it really hard to get back up to speed. Usually I can read as easily as I always could, but speaking and writing don’t come as easily. In the scheme of things, it’s not a language that a lot of people speak, so it’s hard to find someone to practice with. So far I’ve been listening to news broadcasts and repeating everything I say in english to family members in this language. Any other suggestions?

    1. Write yourself letters or articles about a variety of topics. Watch movies and say the lines along with them. Listen to a lot of music with the lyrics in front of you and sing along — that gets me used to using a language again when I haven’t in a while.

      1. Is Rosetta Stone actually useful? I’ve never heard of anyone successfully learning a language with it.

        1. I started at the beginning even though I am not a beginner and am about 1/3 of the way through. I decided to start at the beginning as I was sure I would still learn something. And I have.
          My husband who is officially (but not really) bilingual at the language I am learning, did not think it would work.
          I am like you though (although not as advanced), reading comprehension is the easiest for me, but writing and speaking is harder. The RS forces me to do both.

          I think it could certainly help you refresh….

        2. It’s useful to learn initially, but I don’t think it would help with the polish you’re looking for here. My suggestion would have been news broadcasts, which you mentioned already. Any chance you can find sitcoms or similar television?

          1. +1 Everything TNTT said. You can also pay a native speaker to have conversations with you, either in person or over skype.

    3. A complicating factor is that I speak another non English language at a similarly high level, and there’s a lot of overlap between the two languages, so I find myself throwing a lot of words/constructions from the 3rd language into the one I’m testing. The 3rd one is also the one that I’m much better at. *sigh*

      1. Unrelated, but I am super jealous of you and impressed. I would love to speak multiple languages at any level of proficiency.

        1. :) thank you. I’ve spent a ton of time on this though, and much time living in rather backwater places of the world. Which I love, but I realize it’s not for everyone.

      2. haha this is me, too, but the two non-English languages don’t have any overlap but I will still fill in one with another.

        Can you download some podcasts or even songs on say spotify or pandora in that language? That always helps jog my vocabulary, the biggest hiccup when it comes to speaking fluently. I also will sometimes run a conversation/thoughts in my head as I am doing things around the house, i.e. picture myself narrating or telling a story but in foreign language.

    5. See if you can find an internet “pen pal” to skype with in the language? Not sure how to go about this, but I think there are websites for it.

      1. There is a website called Fluent in 3 Months (and a book of the same name) written by a polyglot. I think he has some resources listed for things like this.

    6. Have you tried meet up? In my city, there are many conversation groups on there.

    7. When preparing for language tests I think about various scenarios and make up stories of varying length, detail, etc. I try to use as many different tenses and constructions as possible so then its on the tip of my tongue on the actual day.

    8. See if there are podcasts in the language. When I know I will be speaking a language that I don’t use frequently, I find it really helps to listen to podcasts in the language.

  8. My 5-year-old Hunter boots sprung a leak. Should I replace them with another pair of Hunters or should I just pick up some black knee-high rainboots from DSW? (Or, better yet, is there any chance Hunter would repair/replace them?) What are your favorite black rainboots? Ideally, I’d stay under $100.

    2. Many of the more expensive brands will repair/replace their products. I don’t know if Hunter does that, but it’s worth looking into before buying another pair. Alternatively, a cobbler might be able to repair them.

    4. A quick google search shows that since 2008, Hunter production has been outsourced, and is no longer the original Scottish dipping procedure that made them so durable.

      Apparently Tretorns, Aigles, and Le Chameaus are still good quality, but they’re all $100+

      1. I got a pair of Tretorns on 6pm and they have held up for about 4 years now. I’d highly recommend them.

    5. Could be wrong but I vaguely recall a lifetime guarantee for those boots. Would be worth contacting Hunter.

      1. And if they say no – can you see where the leak is and are your boots a solid color like black? I patched a pair of shoes with a hole with sugru and it has held up far better than I expected – and even if its in a visible place, you could still keep them as weekend or backups if you have somewhere to store them.
        http://sugru.com/guides/how-to-repair-your-boots-using-sugru

    6. FWIW I’ve had bad luck with random cheap rainboots. If you wanted to just find a random pair, I’d look online and check reviews. I wound up with a pair from Juicy (random, I know), because Hunters were too rich for my blood at the time. But I went through I think 3 pairs before finding these (at least one was DAV).

  9. I guess I’m looking for advice/commiseration on dealing with more casual forms of sexism in the workplace. I’m a fairly junior and single lawyer in a very male-dominated practice area. I generally find that I have very few problems day-to-day.

    But at industry events or work-related get togethers, especially with lawyers from other firms, I find that a lot of the other especially more senior lawyers and some partners from other firms tend to hit on me and are very flirtatious. Some fairly suggestive comments are made. Some of these partners would be partners I may work for one day if I switch firms because there are only a few reputable firms that do this type of work. Perhaps the solution is not to go to events that are centered around drinking but I think that’s how you make connections in this area.

    Any advice?

    1. Oh, I really feel for you. I work in an industry that’s basically all (older) white men, especially at my level. And I’m 26 and conventionally attractive. I’ve been told that in general my persona is not very approachable and that I’m intimidating to men, and I really, really do not try to be! My guess is that’s why I don’t get much of this kind of attention, although I’m not really sure about the wisdom of trying to be this way when you’re not by default. I don’t know what to tell you other than I do commiserate.

      When I worked overseas and got a lot of this kind of attention, I used to wear a fake wedding ring and present myself as not single/married. My guess is that’s a LOT harder to do with people you work with in the US. Maybe explore those options? Or do you have a male colleague/friend who can at least hang out with you at these events? Maybe they’re a lot less likely to make suggestive comments in the presence of another male who’s obviously on your side. I found that worked when I was overseas, but I’m not sure how it would work here.

      1. +1

        I also wear a family diamond/engagement ring, and have found that this helps. Until it doesn’t… as some men don’t care.

        Just continue to be professional. It can be tricky, as you want to be friendly/approachable/team player that would be a pleasant future colleague…… Sometimes you can put it out there that you like to separate work from personal life.

        I have found that it can be very difficult to be a single woman in a male dominated environment for many reasons…. and this is the one that gives me the most trouble. It led to me changing a work environment when multiple colleagues kept pressuring me to start dating a senior colleague…. yeah….. and then I got backfire when I politely side-stepped. Let me tell you….. You don’t want to be talked about for this reason. I don’t work there anymore.

      2. anonymous – my mom does the same thing (wears a ring even though she is divorced to keep away the men) but I HATE that this is still considered an acceptable default. It is essentially signaling that you are someone else’s, and therefore they should leave you alone not out of respect for YOU but out of respect for the other man. Personally I’d be tempted to find a female buddy rather than a male to attend work events. Isn’t it also fair to simply push back a little on all of this? A little side eye or look of confusion could go a long way for changing this for everyone, not merely finding a way to dodge.

        1. Oh, I absolutely do not like what it connotes. I’ve just found it useful, and for my own sake, I should value what works over what it says on some abstract level. My concern with a female buddy is that it’ll be easier for the slimy men to hit on you. Female buddies are hard to come by in my line of work, though, so I don’t know.

          I like the handle, btw :)

        2. +1 You don’t need to be rude, but another consideration in keeping in mind that they may one day be your boss is that you want them to respect you, which they aren’t going to do if they see you doing nothing about what they probably on some level know is inappropriate behavior. I realize this is really hard to do and walking a fine line, but I once, when I was about a year out of law school, called out a group of named partners on their bad behavior (in a tactful way) and heard through the grapevine later on that they were really impressed and respected me for it.

          1. I work in a similar male-dominated niche of my industry, but have found more often that this leads to my male colleagues being slightly protective of my delicate feminine sensibilities. I might just be really lucky to have awesome coworkers though.

            Thought I’d share Miss Manners’ comeback when one is asked an offensive or personal question: “Why do you ask?” Often shuts people down in a graceful way. A nice corollary is just “Excuse me?” However, I fully recognize that sometimes this will NOT work– must be used strategically. But two very easy ways to keep it classy and neutral while also quietly pointing out that something is inappropriate.

          2. Depending on the guy, “Why do you ask?” might not work. This question is designed to make the ask-er realize they are being inappropriate, and men who think they are entitled to women do not think they are inappropriate.

        3. I hate this too. I don’t begrudge the OP doing it if it works for her, but I hate that it is a necessary/effective/acceptable/recommended strategy.

    2. Yay! I LOVE this blazer, Kat, but it is NOT work appropriate for me, b/c it’s way to showey!

      For the OP, hugs, but guess what, we live in a male dominated LEGAL profesion, where the men are all VERY stuck on themselves, and all consider themselves the BRAD PIT’s of the bar. So once you go to an event where alchohol is served, of course they are goeing to get friskey, and you, being the young pretty lass that you are, are IMMEDIATELEY pounced upon as the peice of meat they have all been waiting for. It does NOT matter that you to have a law degree and are admited to the bar like they are. All they see is a pretty girl, just waiting for them to get frisky, or worse yet, invite you to their hotel room’s where they will want to do alot more then talk. FOOEY!

      When I worked for the process serving company, we went to a process server convention in Atlantic City, and those guys did alot more then talk. They grabbed my tuchus probabley 30 times, rubbed up against me (uneccesrily) with their winkies in the bar at least 15 times, and about 5 of them invited me to their room’s to have sex, even tho I did NOT even know them! So it hapens. I learned just to IGNORE these pig’s and NOT to give them the time of day. Yes, you could wear a wedding ring or an engagement ring, but guess what — you are still goeing to be perceived as MEAT and availabel, b/c your husband or boyfreind is not there, and these pigs are there for immediate serviceing. My dad warned me about this and I just ignore the men by changeing the topic. When I know the guy is married, I just say that I respect his wife and that kind of take’s the air out of their winkie’s pronto.

      So hang in there and you will do fine. Never give in to them b/c they will never respect you if you do. Needless to say, the older men will not give you a job if you do anything with them in the hotel rooms, either. They will just look at you like the cleaning lady, and beleive me, you do NOT want to clean their pipe’s! I had more then enough with my plumming experences with Sheketovits’ pipes. DOUBEL FOOEY.

    3. The key is to never smile at these comments- it can be hard if that’s what is ingrained in you (and it is ingrained in a lot of women). What helped me when I was younger was to switch to a different facial reaction- I would raise my eyebrows very high if it was a comment that was questionable- but not completely over the line. If its something that is blatently hitting on you, start calling them out. You can start softer if your not ready to go nuclear – my go to is saying “Paul, thats really not appropriate.” The key is to have strong eye contact when you do it, and do it an even, neautral tone. If he apologizes, accept and change the subject.

  10. I read #GIRLBOSS a couple of months ago and really enjoyed it. Her story is pretty interesting.

  11. I know I’ve seen similar threads in the past for lucky ladies going on vacation, but the search function is failing me. .. so, shopping quest!

    Ladies, I need comfortable sandals that are also presentable in public. I’ll be taking on a new role in the summer that will involve a lot of walking/time on my feet and sandals will be appropriate both from a “fitting in” standpoint and from a (very hot) weather standpoint. I want/need to be a step-up from simple flip flops, but anything else is likely fine. Birkenstocks don’t work for my feet (I have long toes so I can never get the molded arch and toe lines to both work at the same time). I’ve found some “dressier”/slightly less matronly than normal Orthoheels that fit but aren’t cushy, so my feet are fatigued at the end of the day.

    I’m happy to throw money at this problem – I just don’t know where to throw it. What are your go-to brands for this sort of thing? Any specific recommendations? Thanks!

    1. I adore my OluKai flip-flops, awesome support and they have held up for several years of heavy use. I think that they make sandals as well, although they may not be as dressy as you need.

      1. I love mine too. Worth it, albeit very expensive for a flip flop for me.

    2. Born sandals are usually very comfortable and not hideous (not the cutest, but not hideous). This advice applies only to the actual Born line. The BOC concepts by Born you see at DSW a lot are not as comfortable to me.

    3. I would check out Clarks and Born. You may also find more info at the blog Barking Dog Shoes.

    4. Gentle Souls. Someone on here recommended them, and I really like the pair that I bought. Some of their styles can be matronly, but I found a cute pair last year that was really comfortable.

      1. I love my Gentle Souls gladiator sandals. Extremely comfortable and look good with both pants and skirts.

    5. NAOT sandles. Extremely comfortable. >200 styles on our favorite online free shipping shoe retailer but I’ve purchased at local specialty shoe stores.

    6. I have the Born Mariel in several colors because they are so comfortable but are still a little dressier than regular flip flops. Also check out the Mai, Eryka, Meera, and Eva. They look like they all have the same sole with variations in the straps/colors.

    7. Dansko. You can find sandals by them that don’t look like clogs (if that’s not your thing) I have some from a few seasons ago called the Dansko Jenelle. Extremly comfortable.

  12. So I’d like to send something to a younger family member who is going through a lot. Her father is terminally ill and her mother is what I would describe as a ‘difficult personality’. She’s in her early 20’s and in grad school.

    I was initially thinking flowers, but now I’m not sure she’ll be home to take the delivery and she lives in an apartment where they can’t really just leave them on the porch (also, it’s below freezing where she lives).

    Any other ideas? She’s GF and I was thinking maybe some GF treats from Amazon? A nice scarf?

    1. Treats and maybe a favorite movie, book, etc of yours that she’d like. Sometimes its nice just to veg out and let yourself get distracted…

      1. Thanks! I’ve been trying to think of one that doesn’t really address family dynamics or death. It’s much harder than you’d think.

          1. I was thinking bossypants, but she talks a ton about her relationship with her parents and also with her own daughter.

            I really am trying to stay away from those topics.

          2. What about Is Everyone Hanging Out with Me? by Mindy Kaling? I loved the love book and I don’t think there was too much discussion of her parents.

          3. Mindy has a huge discussion about her mom- her mom was her best friend and she lost her and the book made my cry about it. Def would not do that one.

          4. I believe Mindy Kaling talks about the loss of her mother in her book, so if you’re trying to avoid that topic you might pass on it as well. Although the way she talks about the loss is pretty frank and also inspiring, so if I were in your family member’s situation I would probably appreciate it. And the rest of the book made me laugh so hard I cried.

        2. This is where I go for off the wall comedies. Sister Act, Dodgeball, Anchorman, Mean Girls, Coming to America, Shaun of the Dead, Trading places, best in show, despicable me….

          OOOH. If she doesn’t have it already, pay for netflicks/huluplus?

          1. I like the Netflix/Hulu Plus idea. Even if she has it, you can gift her several months so she won’t have to pay for those months (at least with Netflix).

            And I know it’s easy to send stuff from Amazon, but if you have the time, I think putting together a care package yourself is super nice. I would include a handwritten note, a Sbux gift card, some lip balm/lotion, and a book or some magazines. You could also include coloring book + crayons…that can be a really nice distraction that requires little brain power.

    2. I wouldn’t do flowers…. She’s a poor grad student, likely very stressed from her family situation. Give her something to treat herself. Either food/self-indulgence/gift card.

      And call her. And just let her talk. Don’t give her any advice. Just tell her you were thinking about her.

      Don’t know what “GF” means…

      This is very thoughtful of you.

      1. GF means Gluten Free. She has to follow a gluten free diet.

        A massage/spa treatment might be nice. She aspires to be crunchy, so maybe I’ll send her some lovely aromatherapy stuff and other natural products all with ‘soothing/relaxing’ properties.

        And to answer your suggestion: Yes, my sister and I have definitely taken this girl under our wing. We’re not that much older than her (less than 10 years), so we’ve definitely been giving her that kind of big sister love and support we know she needs. She gets frequent calls/texts/funny pictures emailed or texted to her and my sister and I have both facilitated weekends where she can come to visit us and be away from all the stress and crazy.

    3. Mouth has gift packages of GF treats. I’ve sent some gifts through them, and they have all been well-received.

    4. A massage. It’s my go-to for friends with family crises, and it’s always been appreciated.

    5. If you can afford it, what about six months of a subscription to a snack-box club, like NatureBox or similar? GF treats can get expensive, it might be nice as a grad student to get free treats on a regular basis.

      1. yeah, I love this, regular GF treats and/or fresh fruit. I know when I’m stressed and broke getting to the store to get good healthy food and produce is really hard.

  13. I need some shopping help. I need some work-appropriate black flats, preferably under $150 (though I might go a little higher for the perfect pair), and I’m having a hard time finding some I like. Something with a little more structure than a traditional ballet flat and no elastic in the heel. And no obvious branding. So basically the Tory Burch Reva ballet flat, except cheaper and without the giant logo thing. My feet are also fairly narrow (Cole Haans fit my feet well, if that helps), so nothing that runs wide. Anyone have suggestions?

    1. If you like a pointy toe, Brooks Brothers calfskin pointed ballet flats are on super discount ($67.20), but sizes are limited. I have a pair and I love them. They are structured, no logo at all, and fit my narrow feet. They come in black and a fun purple.

    2. Corso Como Mirage- I findthem to be really comfortable. I have two pairs.

      Tieks are above your budget and not really work-appropriate depending on where you work (here in my office on a normal day they are fine), but so comfy. No elastic heel.

      1. I just bought the Corso Como Mystic Cutout Flats 5 minutes ago, at Nordstrom (online).

    4. I love my VANELi flats (sold by Zappos and Marmi). They’re well made, with a lot of structure, and come in narrow sizes.

    5. Saks Fifth Avenue Hidden Wedge Leather Ballet Flats – they were making the rounds as a suggestion here a few months ago – I bought them and love them.

      1. I bought them too and mine fell apart. The sewing that connects the sole to the leather literally disintegrated. Very comfy, great leather, but don’t walk too much in them like I did.

    6. I have several pairs of the BR Ashley bow flat. I love them and they seem to hold up well. You can usually get them on sale, but even not on sale they are under $150. I find them very comfortable. They are structured and do not have elastic in the heel.

    8. Thanks for the suggestions, all, and keep them coming! Zappos and I will spend some quality time together this weekend.

      1. Ivanka trump Tizzy

        I actually really like most of her shoes which pains me to say

        1. Her shoes are adorable, but so painful! Her flats look exactly like a pair of Cole Haan flats, but so uncomfortable. They have just now stopped cutting into my heel to the point of bleeding after a year of wear.

          ETA: I have the Annuly, maybe they’re different?

    9. I have narrow feet and I really like the Born Adele flat. They might have a similar one with a different name now, but last I looked I could still find Adeles on sale sites. Also if I were you I would look at loafer style shoes, I find the higher vamp really helps them stay on my narrow feet.

    10. 6pm has the Cole Haan Magnolia skimmer in black for $60ish, along with various other options. If you’re avoiding Cole Haan because of the recent poor reviews for the Nike Air replacement (Grand OS), I can tell you that I recently got the Ambrose Skimmer with Grand OS and have been very happy comfort wise. I’m wondering if the change is less of a problem for flats. One flag: I have a couple of pairs of CH Air ballet flats (Air Reesa, specifically), and I needed to size down at least a half size for the Ambrose. Fit seems similar, just sort of re-scaled.

  14. I posted a couple days ago and then couldn’t find the post, so I apologize if this is a repeat. I am thinking of TTC this year but my company does not offer paid maternity leave. I want to take 12 weeks and could probably swing two weeks with vacation days. I am weighing the pros and cons of taking out a short term disability policy (I will be eligible for one through my company in a couple months) but I’m not sure if it would make more sense to just start contributing money to a savings account instead. For reference, for a premium of $100 a month I could receive 60% of my salary for the last 2 months of leave (there is a 14 day waiting period). It would be really tight to live for 10 weeks without my salary, but we could probably save up/scale back on spending. Are there any considerations I am missing?

    1. Many STD policies will cover only the 6 weeks post-delivery, or a bit longer with a c-section, not the whole leave.

      1. To second this – our mat leaves are covered by STD and this is exactly correct. 2 weeks freebie, then 6 weeks STD (8 if you had a C-section). Most people then take unpaid leave to round out the 12 weeks.

      2. I checked, it will cover up to 6 months. The only restriction (other than the leave having to begin 9 months after the policy kicking in) is the 14 day waiting period.

        1. Double check one more time just to be sure. My company’s STD (offered to cover mat leave) will cover up to 6 months of medically necessary leave. Six weeks recovery was considered “medically necessary” for a regular birth and 8 weeks for a c-section — not 6 months unless there were significant complications. Hopefully your plan is more generous than the standard STD plans.

          1. Ah, thank you! I don’t think I caught the “medically necessary” distinction. This type of thing is exactly why I asked this question.

        2. A doctor has to certify that you’re disabled, and they can’t ethically go over 6/8 weeks, I’d think – unless you did indeed have complications, which is something to think about.

      3. Ditto this. Also make sure that you fully understand how maternity/childbirth will be covered. I have a vague idea that maternity might be different than other conditions under some STD policies.

    2. If you’re paying the premiums yourself, the benefits you receive will most likely be tax free, so it’s actually pretty close to your ordinary take home pay. Unless your salary is low and the timing works out such that you have to pay almost two years’ worth of premiums, it’s hard for me to see how you could save more by banking the premiums than you’d get back in benefits. Plus, STD coverage is good to have for any unexpected medical problem.

      Some thoughts/questions:

      I don’t know how these policies work for maternity leave, but have you confirmed that you’ll be eligible for benefits so long as you have the policy before you get pregnant (or some other period of time)?

      Is the STD policy tied to your company’s open enrollment such that you’ll need to pay premiums for coverage after your leave, or can you terminate it at any time?

      What kind of coverage is available if you get put on bed rest? Would you get coverage for the period before delivery (after the 14 day waiting period) plus 2 months after delivery?

  15. The one-year anniversary of the death of a friend’s baby is coming up in a couple of weeks. The friend was increasingly horrible to me in the months following the death, to the point that I finally had to distance myself for my own mental health. I understand that she was lashing out from grief, and the door is open if she wants to rebuild our friendship, but we’re currently not talking very much and I’m still hurt. I feel like I ought to acknowledge the anniversary in some way, but I don’t want to be intrusive. Thoughts on what I should do? Send flowers? Gift card for her favorite take out (I know she won’t be exercising good self care)?

    1. I wouldn’t send flowers. I didn’t want anything that would just die. Other people feel differently, I know.

      Anything that says you’re thinking about her is nice — a donation to charity in her name or the baby’s name, a card with or without a gift card.

    2. I think I would just send a handwritten note card that you’re thinking of her and her family, hope she’s doing well, and hope that you can get together in the future at some point (if that’s true).

    3. I think every woman is different, but my friend who’s son was still born is really adamant that knowing you haven’t forgotten her child is better than anything else. From her blog, http://happilyhidalgo.blogspot.com/p/cales-story_8.html, “If you know someone who is going through this my biggest advice is to not be afraid to reach out. Don’t let the fear of saying the wrong thing prevent you from saying anything. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’m sorry,” or “I’m thinking of you” as its words of encouragement and love that will help bring comfort to someone during their darkest days. Don’t pretend that nothing happened and don’t avoid talking about it. Our babies may have been stillborn, but they were still born.”

    5. As someone who lost an infant sister, I can tell you that reaching out to simply say that you are thinking of her during this time you know is difficult can go a long way. Almost thirty years later, my mom still needs this. Please don’t send flowers–kind words are much more impactful without bringing with them constant reminders while the flowers are in the home.

  16. I find the name of this company really off-putting. Anybody else have the same reaction?

    For what it’s worth, I have similar responses to Naughty Monkey (which I think is a shoe brand) and that “Fresh Pair” company that Kat used to promote all the time.

    2. Ditto! I’ve never looked at any of this stuff because I find the name of the company so terrible. (I also don’t like Bonobos for this reason.)

    4. Agreed. And the lack of undergarments on the model for this blazer isn’t helping the cause.

  18. Cute, but definitely too cutesy. I’d say that, as a general rule, items with the term “woodland” are probably not the best for a work environment (unless it’s very casual/creative).

  19. This may sound like a dumb question, but do you think jersey dresses are appropriate for work? I love them, because they are so comfy, but just wanted to double check. I never heard anyone say whether they are appropriate or not appropriate, but recently read another article on professional attire advising that any clothing item made of jersey material should be avoided for work. So what do you ladies think? Thanks!

    1. My guess is that this is a know your office kind of thing, but I never wear jersey to work. It doesn’t feel appropriate to me.

      1. I think it also depends on how you are built. I find jersey too curve-clingy on me to wear in a professional setting. I prefer woven fabric with a lining.

    2. I hate blanket fearmongering re work attire (other than, perhaps, leggings are not pants). Yes, it’s easier to say “never wear jersey” because some jersey dresses, skirts or tops are too drapey and casual for work. But other jersey pieces – such as the DvF wrap dresses, which are silk jersey IIRC – work perfectly fine! Would I pick a jersey dress for a power meeting? Probably not. But for standard workwear, no issue.

      ETA – obviously if the dress is super clingy, as jersey can be, then it’s not work appropriate, but I’m assuming that’s not an issue with the OP’s picks.

      1. +1 – not all jersey is the same. You have different fibers (silk vs model vs polyester) and you have different weights (some are thicker and more forgiving, some are thinner and more clingy). But I figure if ponte (a thicker knit fabric) is okay than jersey (a knit fabric) is okay as well.

        Definitely depends on the dress and the office.

        1. definitely this. There is some jersey that is heavy enough to provide coverage without being clingy and in my opinion is perfectly office appropriate (Lands End Jersey dress that I’m wearing right now is an example) and some that is definitely too clingy and casual looking.

          In a business casual environment (or a business environment with casual fridays) I think the right jersey pieces are very appropriate. but it is definitely something to pay careful attention to.

    3. It’s definitely not business formal but I don’t bat an eye at wearing jersey on denim days.

    4. I wear them with leggings and boots but my office is casual (like some people wear jeans and hoodies). I wouldn’t have worn them at my last office which was business casual.

  20. I’m overcome with a huge sense of anxiety/jitteriness right now. I think it’s because I had two shots of espresso this morning and don’t usually have caffeine of any kind. Nothing I do to calm down seems to be working. Any advice, other than going easy on the coffee in the future?

    1. Guided meditation. You can find it on youtube or on apps like headspace or Stop, Think, Breathe.

    2. I shouldn’t be encouraging this… but take a lunch break and have a full meal and a glass of wine. Alcohol.

      2 shots of espresso… Why, if you are a caffeine-free type?

      If you are starting new with caffeine, start with one cup, half decaf and nurture over a long period of drinking. One will be more than enough for you.

      1. I’m not caffeine free for any real reason, I just almost never actually drink it. I visited with someone who made me a cup, it was delicious, so we made another one. I didn’t really think about it until I had major jitters.

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