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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Notch-Collar Tweed Jacket

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

A black blazer is a wardrobe must for most working women. This tweed version from Helene Berman is practically perfect because you can wear it with anything. Working from home and see a surprise video conference pop up on your calendar? Throw it over your t-shirt. A surprise in-office meeting with a client? Keep this in the office to swap out a cardigan or put over a sleeveless dress. With the tweed texture, you can even wear it with a black sheath without worrying about whether the two black fabrics “match” each other. 

The blazer is $174.50 at Nordstrom (marked down from $349!) and is available in sizes XS–XL. Notch-Collar Tweed Jacket

For plus sizes, this black tweed jacket from Vince Camuto is $179 at Nordstrom.

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Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 1/16/25:

  • M.M.LaFleur – Tag sale for a limited time — jardigans and dresses $200, pants $150, tops $95, T-shirts $50
  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles with code — readers love this blazer, these dresses, and their double-layer line of tees
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything
  • L.K. Bennett – Archive sale, almost everything 70% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Sephora – 50% off top skincare through 1/17
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Summersalt – BOGO sweaters, including this reader-favorite sweater blazer; 50% off winter sale; extra 15% off clearance
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – 50% off + extra 20% off, sale on sale, plus free shipping on $150+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

418 Comments

  1. elcome to Monday! Did anything over the weekend make you smile? My neighbors have daffodils and they are so pretty.

    Meditations and music https://www.calm.com/blog/take-a-deep-breath

    Art of the Day “Cotton Club Dancer” https://catalogue.swanngalleries.com/Lots/auction-lot/CHARLES-ALSTON-(1907—1977)-Cotton-Club-Dancer?saleno=2535&lotNo=13&refNo=769079

    Concerts streaming online https://www.npr.org/2020/03/17/816504058/a-list-of-live-virtual-concerts-to-watch-during-the-coronavirus-shutdown

    For those who have to go out to work still, thank you for being a force multiplier for good.

    2. Thank you, thank you, thank you .,,,these posts make me well up in gratitude each day.

      1. You’re so welcome! It makes me feel connected too. We are all in this together. :)

    3. Thank you, thank you, thank you…these posts make me well up with gratitude each day.

    4. We have 3 beautiful cherry trees in our front yard that are blooming now. I’ve seen multiple people stop and take photos of them while out for their walks in the neighborhood. The blooms make me so happy, and it makes me even happier that other people are stopping to enjoy them now.
      There’s something to be said for this forced slower pace and simplification of life….

    5. I listened to a lot of Kenny Rogers music over the weekend and found some fun videos of old live concert footage. I especially loved this live version of “We’ve got Tonight” with Dolly Parton.
      https://youtu.be/P6IIkpmw8Ow

      1. Me too. We listened to Kenny Rogers so much growing up but I had not listened to his music in years. Listening this weekend brought back a lot of memories.

        Dolly Parton’s Instagram video about him made me tear up.

    6. Good morning!

      There’s a park near my house that I’ve walked though thousands of times. Walked through it on my way to work, or to go shopping, or to get to a class, or to meet a friend. But until this weekend I never really took a walk IN the park. The trees are so beautiful and now I know the difference between a white willow and a weeping willow.

    7. The previous homeowner planted Gerber daisies and they just started blooming. They are so cute and happy.

    8. Weekend smiles: my derpy dog is finally getting the hang of “heel”! I baked alllll weekend! My husband finally hooked up our chest freezer! We watched Star Trek together! My sister and I had a really good chat and she thanked me for “always putting her feelings into words”!

    9. Thank you for this!
      I had such beautiful walks in the park this weekend where there are pink and white flowering trees blooming. The thought that spring and warmer weather are coming really helps.

    10. We chatted with the neighbors over a Quarantini, each sitting in their own driveway. Will be our Sunday evening tradition.

    11. One of my neighbors is a professional photographer and she is doing the porch project – 5 minute porch photo shoots (she stays on the sidewalk 10 feet away) in exchange for a $25 donation to the local food pantry. They are intended to be super casual (no worrying about coordinating outfits) so we let our 4-year-old pick out his own outfit and he was SO good for the photos.

    12. Magical spring snowfall, scoring a 4 pack of TP at the store, and seeing my neighborhood band together to scrape up supplies for our medical center — masks bought for fire protection or construction projects, gowns being sewn by a local sewing circle, etc.

    13. My son was in such good spirits this weekend and we all spent a few hours out in the garden, doing some planting and tidying up. I have grand plans to wildflower bomb this barren patch at the end of my road.

    14. I asked for knitting recommendations here last week and got started over the weekend. I picked it up fairly quickly, but somehow added 10+ extra rows to my needle?? Good thing I started with a practice round. I think the yarn split a bit and made me think there were more stitches than there were. Do you knitters all count stitches on every row?

      1. Nope- but it depends on the pattern. If it’s an easy one, just look at the past rows to see if they line up and if yes, you’re good. I count stitches every 10 rows or so just to be sure I’m on track. Suggest checking out ravelry.com- big community of knitters and crocheters. Lots of sources and people there to help whatever your knitting skill level is. Happy knitting!
        P.S. You might have extra stitches not because you’re splitting the yarn but because you are not slipping the finished stitch completely off the needle, resulting in two stitches.

      2. I suspect it’s not the yarn splitting, you’re probably not finishing the stitch and not dropping the lower stitch off the needle (if that makes sense). I had the same problem – make sure that when you finish each stitch there’s only one loop on the needle. :)

      3. I don’t count every row, but probably do every few rows or so, or if it’s starting to look a little weird! I think that’s the kind of thing you get better at with practice.

    15. I went out for a walk and someone had written huge letters on the ground in sidewalk chalk spelling out: WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS

        1. This is a Very Good Idea as a way to get The Kid outside for a while, assuming I can figure out where the chalk is . . .

        2. That’s something that a friend of mine is doing with her 5 year old. Drawing mosaics, etc.

      2. My sister came over with my niece and nephew and decorated the end of my driveway with sidewalk chalk =) I’m sad that it will get covered with snow later today…

    16. Those Instagram concerts are really amazing – especially Hozier and One Republic specifically. Some Canadian ones on Facebook live have also been great – Jann Arden, and both Alan Doyle and Sean McCann are doing daily shows.

      1. My not-little kids are all getting along beautifully. The silver lining in this is family time that is so rare since the older two went away to college (and even before that). We have had a cleaning lady their entire lives so their cleaning skills are rudimentary but we had Family Cleaning Hour on Saturday and they did a great job with very little whining. We are all OK here. Other important good news is that despite the oldest kid’s confirmed COVID-19, none of the rest of us are showing symptoms. Thursday will be 14 days since she arrived home and I am thinking if we make it to Thursday we are in the clear.

    17. I worked in my garden over the weekend and was so happy to see the various perennials poking their little green selves up/out. I also had a chance to chat (at a safe distance!) with my two elderly neighbors and make sure they’re doing okay.
      On Saturday, I looked outside and saw that two neighbors I don’t know were walking down our street picking up the trash with those little grabby things. It’s just such a random act of kindness in all of this.
      I video chatted with my family, which I don’t normally do despite having the technology. Somehow we always just phone chat. Maybe I should remember to do that going forward – seeing their faces did me so much more good than just hearing their voices.

    18. We’ve been cleaning out the garage so that Hubby can get to his woodworking equipment. Mission accomplished, and this weekend we fired up the band saw and cut a bunch of wine corks in half, fired up the circular saw and cut a big sheet of masonite into 7-inch squares, and fired up the hot glue gun and made wine cork trivets out of the whole mess. SO FUN! And much less fattening than baking!

    19. I love this thread. Love reading about cherry blossoms, wine cork trivets and happy housecleaning kids.

      I’m working at home, totally self-quarantining and not going anywhere except the park for walks and the roads for bicycle rides.

      I am all about spring blooms – daffodils, hyacinths, cherry blossoms and Daphne odora! If you don’t have a daphne, get one for next spring. Heavenly scent and pretty small flowers.

        1. +1. If you want to wallow, that’s allowed. You can do it here, even. But don’t post something like this on this thread, which many of us look forward to every day. Bad look for you.

    3. I love the idea of a black tweed jacket, but the sequins really limit how it can be worn for me.

      1. Oh wow. I’m so glad you said this, and I noticed it, before I pressed purchase. I thought those light spots were just lighter threads. Sequins makes it a no-go for me.

    4. This is probably the first piece of clothing in tweed that I’ve ever liked, but as another poster said, the reviews are sobering.

        2. Agreed ha! When something is still in stock in all sizes and this highly discounted… there is usually a reason, unfortunately.

  3. For the DC readers and those that actually do work for the federal government- Are there certain agencies that have fully shut down similar to government shutdowns? I’ve heard about certain delays with the Census, but is the entire agency shut down or are they just suspending door to door checks for it? I know there are certain agencies that also have more work than they can handle right now.
    We rely on some federally generated data for work, and I’m wondering if the office that compiles it will be late putting it out with this virus.

    Thanks.

    1. My agency is nearly exclusively telework, in that the building is pretty much not accessible (absent an emergency), but the work goes on. We’re putting in full days remotely. I wouldn’t be surprised, however, if certain areas of work deemed “not critical” are delayed.

    2. I don’t know of any agencies that have completely shut down. Several, like mine, are fully telework. I’ve also heard of some that have granted admin leave to essentially put everyone on a 75% schedule, or some that are having staff alternate weeks in the office.

      It is absolutely insane that there is not mandatory telework for all non-essential government workers, but then again we know how this administration feels about civil servants.

    3. My agency has gone to nearly exclusively telework, but people are still working and the vast majority of our work can continue just as effectively as telework. I don’t know anyone who is still going in to the office. But only my floor is off limits, and that was just ordered after a coworker started showing symptoms and is waiting for their test results.

  4. I suspect my neighbors (3 college guys) are stealing my WiFi through my Google Home somehow but can’t figure out how? I bought a new router last year and set it to the most secure WiFi setting. I noticed that whenever I plugged in my Google Home, and during certain time like late night, suddenly everything gets slower on my devices. Also, sometimes the voice dial on my Google home would mysteriously change on its own. Recently, I unplugged my router and my Google Home, and instantly heard one of the college boys next door groan and swear as if he was in the middle of a video game that got stopped. After that, he started pacing up and down the hallway. I tried this a couple of times, and his complaints seemed to correspond to whenever I unplug my Google home. After this, I tried to figure out if it was my guess is that they somehow were able to get on my WiFi using Google Home. I’ve unplugged my Google Home now and have not had any issue with my WiFi again. But I’d like to use it at some point. What are some things I can do to prevent these jackasses from hijacking my WiFi?

    4. Have you tried changing your password (do you even have one on it)? They probably hacked it. Plugging it in and out literally just temporarily disables it.

    5. I have a very long password for my WiFi automatically generated using a password generator. I also change it every few months. The issue seems to be my Google Home, and the Chromecast function specifically. I read that if you use Chromecast, they can hack the Google Home through Bluetooth and then get on your WiFi that way.

      1. You need to get someone tecky who knows something to fix your wifi. I am a lawyer, and clearly none of us here so far are smart enough technicaly to help you. I recomend the GEEK Squad from Best Buy. After I was set up, I then bought an updgraded wireless rooter from Best Buy, and then got the Geek Squad to come to my apartment b/c my own tech guy from work was creepy. They did a lot of clicking on my Mac that was connected to the rooter, and now I have 300 x 300 speed. Good luck. Mabye the teck guy can also figure out a way to make sure they get a nasty message when they try to wire into your system again. YAY!!

    6. You have lots of signs that they did hack it so i don’t doubt what you’re saying. But having wifi slow down in the evenings is also common whether you’ve been hacked or not. It’s when everyone is streaming tv shows.

      1. I agree that OP’s situation sounds like her neighbors but just venting that I hate network congestion so much. I notice it most (pre-COVID) on Sundays. Even when I’m plugged into my router with hardwire I lose speed. I work from home full time (with lots of nights and weekends) and definitely notice a dramatic difference. Occasionally resetting my modem and router will help (resetting the router alone fixes other issues (like the wifi scanner/printer not wanting to connect) but not speed).

    7. Make sure that you have changed the admin password for your router–and check to see if there is on for your google home. If you google admin password for any router, there is always a default one. A lot of folks establish a wifi network and password, but leave the actual router wide open. It sounds like you have a really good idea of what is happening–work backwards to plug up any leaks.

      1. This is so helpful! It’s true. I have been super diligent about my passwords but did not change the router admin password.

  5. I’m really struggling with tension headaches and lack of sleep. My job is one that suddenly needs to advise people on layoffs. I graduated right after 2008’s rounds, so never worked those. And it seems that everyone at my firm who did that work has since retired. I’m the only person at my 50-person business who has read the new laws and I am so stressed. I’m not a doctor, or nurse- I shouldn’t be this stressed, but I am. On top of that, I’m fully WFH in a new house that I haven’t unpacked. Does anyone have tips? A friend suggested an hour with no screens every day and that has helped immensely over the weekend, but I can’t go on much longer with the physical stress.

    1. Ok a few things. One, Practical Law has great resources about lay-offs. Two, go outside everyday for a walk. Three, download Headspace and start meditating. Four, take an OTC sleeping pill.

    2. Put on some music on and give yourself an hour but no more to unpack each day—maybe put the boxes somewhere so you see visual “progress.” Afterwards draw yourself a bath and have some decaf tea. Know that those in recession times didn’t have any magic. They, like you, just put one foot in front of the other. Try not to be too hard on yourself. It may feel like it sometimes, but this won’t be forever.

    3. I have a few suggestions:

      Up the no screen time significantly in non work hours and move your body instead, unpack a box, dance in the kitchen to a fun tune.

      Take as many walks as you can,a break for work (lunch) is a walk time, not a catch up on the news time

      Only one segment of news per day, on one type of media – radio or tv, not both

      Practice deep breathing, in for a count of 4, hold 4, out 4, do this several times

      Practice radical kindness to yourself, this is one we all are doing our very best to move through.

    4. I’m in a similar boat so I have to stay up to date on the news. Try to avoid any doom and gloom sites. Honestly, I learn more from here and Ask a Manager than trying to decipher CNN. If something major happens, someone posts it here and then I can go back and read the primary source. I also look to official websites like OSHA, DOL, CDC, etc.

    5. Chronic daily headaches for years over here… two suggestions that come to mind and may help (or may not, I know all too well that headaches can be quite different from person to person):
      1. Given you are WFH, your posture could be contributing to the headaches, try to be mindful of your posture and take little breaks, and maybe do a few minutes of stretching/yoga or the breathing suggested in a post above
      2. Be mindful of the tension you are holding in your face – when we have pain, we tend to tense those areas, which makes it worse. Try to relax the muscles at issue if possible (easier said than done but one trick is to really tense up the muscle for a second, then release).
      Hope this or something else helps!

  7. Can we do some light-hearted booked recs? I’m usually a true crime/post apocalyptic/politics person, but just can’t handle it these days. I’ll offer up my most recent to start – The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard.

    1. So I recently got really into reading about alien abduction and I recommend “Witnessed” by Budd Hopkins. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2123027.Witnessed If at all possible, don’t read anything about it before you start it. The story unfolds in such a BIZARRE fashion that I think it’s worth getting surprised by each new turn of events. It’s an easy read and nothing too terrible happens.

      I know this is a weird recommendation but my explanation to myself is that I enjoy mysteries and science but can’t handle the gruesome unresolved murder type mysteries so alien abduction it is!

      1. Between plague and locusts (it’s a cicada cycle this year), a friend said to expect aliens next, and I responded that if they show up to abduct us, this time I’m going with them!

    2. I really liked Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi. The premise is a bit sad but it’s really sweet and heartwarming.

    4. This isn’t the same kind of lighthearted, but I keep being reminded of 84, Charing Cross Road. I may end up re-reading that one soon.

      1. I love that one! I’d also recommend the James Herriot series – a kindly competent vet helping people was exactly what I needed this weekend.

    5. Evvie Drake Starts Over (recently widowed woman in a small Maine town falls for a professional baseball player who lost his ability to pitch)

      Furious Love (nonfiction about Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor’s decades long romance)

      Bachelor Nation (nonfiction about the Bachelor/Bacehlorette series)

      Red White and Royal Blue or The Royal We (young adult love stories with a UK royal element)

      Any book by Madeline Miller (retelling a of Greek myths from the perspective of a character other than the main character)

      1. Red White and Royal Blue!!! I have re-read it about 6 times since I first read it in December. Did you know there are Spotify playlists?

      2. We have similar taste. I loved Evvie Drake, Red, White, and Royal Blue (desperately want a movie!), and Bachelor Nation.

    6. Thinking of taking up the Crazy Rich Asians series. I started one but got distracted and never finished it but think it should be fun!

      1. I thought the entire series was great, light-hearted fun. Also, in the third book I learned how to reheat pizza in a pan on top of the stove, because one of the characters does it. That’s a life-changing hack.

    7. Great Idea for a thread! I’m so not into watching apocalypse movies right now either.
      My recs: The Lager Queen of Minnesota, Nine Perfect Strangers

      1. Oooh, I loved Kitchens of the Great Midwest by the same author as Lager Queen.

    8. “Oh, Florida!” hits true crime and politics but in a lighthearted way. We can all use a dose of #FloridaMan right about now.

    9. I’m reading favorites from childhood (Harry Potter, for one) and I also enjoyed a Farley Mowat memoir about the author’s time living with Arctic wolves. The James Herriott books are similar in tone and very enjoyable.

      1. Also just dusted off the old HP and the Sorcerer’s Stone. There is something comforting about reading childhood books and the nostalgia of life being simpler and less anxiety ridden. Also recommend on audio book if you have never tried them through that medium.

    10. I have been on a fluffy rom com kick for the last two weeks. Well Met and the Honeymooners were both fluffy fun. As far as authors, Alexa Martin and Helena Hunting were fun. Seconding the people who recommended evvie drake starts over and Madeline Miller.

      1. Me too- I read Twice in a Blue Moon (eh) this weekend and also The Hating Game (super eh).

        I love Jasmine Guillory’s romance books!

        Also, I found out this weekend that Smart Bi**hes Trashy Novels has a romance book matchmaker on their website. You can enter in your romance trope (like, friends to lovers) and your preferred genre (like, contemporary romance) and it recommends a bunch of them. You can filter out books they haven’t reviewed.

    11. I’m working through the Bruno, Chief of Police series. A police officer in an idyllic setting in a small town in France solves crimes, eats delicious meals, falls in love…

      1. This sounds amazing, I’m already in love with Brittany mystery series by Jean Luc Bannalec about an inspector in Brittany. Amazing descriptions of the setting and the unique Brittan lifestyle and a great cast of supporting characters.

    12. Secret Diary of Hendrik Groen, Aged 83 and 1/4. He lives in an assisted living home but doesn’t really like old people. Great book. A little sad at parts, but also incredibly funny at many parts. He and his fellow residents trick out their mobility scooters.

      The Unhoneymooners is a cute, quick romance.

      Hour of the Assassin is a fast paced read about a former spy set up for murder.

      Dark Matter was unexpectedly engaging.

    13. If you’re an art lover and particularly hold the Metropolitan Museum of Art in high regards, Metropolitan Stories is a fantastic and quick read. It’s a chick lit but still more high-brow version of the Dan Brown ilk.

  8. I’m at the beginning of transitioning from one set of work assignments to another and am having a hard time staying focused and productive. I’m doing some background reading in my new areas, but I’m finding it hard to focus and retain what I’m reading without a concrete project to focus on. Has anyone been through this sort of transition? How can I use this time effectively before the real projects come in? I feel a little silly asking this question given the current crisis, but I’d appreciate input if anyone is looking for a distraction/sense of normalcy.

    (So many thanks to everyone who is working very hard right now to keep our country safe, functioning, and healthy!)

    1. I think notetaking is really helpful here – with a visual element, some mind-mapping. How are different articles and concepts connecting in the different articles you are reading?

  9. Why, yes, now is a GREAT time for my refrigerator compressor to make terrifying noises. Also a great time for literal **** to come back UP the toilet.

    Is anyone else’s house staging a mutiny?

    1. Not my house, but realistic nightmares about people breaking in? My brain is all over that.

    2. We had started a kitchen remodel at the beginning of Feb. I do not recommend remodelling during pandemics. On the plus side it’s nice to have a halfway functional kitchen instead of a completely dysfunctional one like before. On the minus side they’re closing all the stores, I told my guy to get literally any countertop because at this point I just don’t care what it looks like.

      We’ve also had to replace a washing machine and had a complete sewer backup over New Year’s so I can completely relate to your aggravation. Good luck to you.

    3. Our refrigerator died about 2 weeks prior to all this craziness happening. At the time I was super peeved, now I’m grateful it happened when it did! Out of no where our drain or shower or something have been smelling sulfuric in the master bath. I hope it isn’t anything serious because I’m trying to avoid contractors in the house. We will try a few DIY suggestions first, and cross our fingers. For your refrigerator, try to vacuum the coils and clean all the dust and stuff from behind and under it if you haven’t already.
      Sewage backing up is terrible though! Hopefully not a result of flushing non-tp products down the toilet (paging all the people subbing baby wipes, etc for TP). Even flushable wipes are not flushable. I think we are going to end up with a bunch of unexpected mini-crises spinning off this one because of forced behavior changes.

      1. Sometimes the sulfuric smell can be because the wax ring on the toilet needs to be replaced. It’s fairly easy to do yourself – turn off water, drain water from toilet, unbolt toilet from floor, lift off, then scrape the old wax ring and replace with a new one. I’m sure there are videos showing how to do.

    4. Not yet, but I have seen several articles about how people are stupidly flushing clorox wipes and it’s clogging municipal sewer systems.

    5. If you haven’t done so already, make sure you’ve cleaned the compressor coils on your fridge. Our old fridge died one day (this was 2 years ago), and we thought it was just dead, but turns out it has an auto-shut-off when its coils get too clogged and the compressor overheats. It bounced back to life once we cleaned the coils…which we hadn’t done in the 5 years we moved in, so it was definitely overdue.

      1. Can you describe what this means? Are the coils likely to be on the front or back of the fridge?

        1. They’re on the back, usually copper tubing. They are how the compressor dissipates heat, so if they are covered in dust, it has to work a lot harder. You can vacuum the dust off them and see if that helps with the noise.

    6. I opened the fridge and it was all dark inside and I had a 20-minute freakout before I realized the bulb burned out. Everything seems extra difficult in these difficult times.

    7. Our dryer decided to stop heating. A new one has been ordered, and hopefully it was actually be delivered on the estimated date!

      I hope everything resolves for you soon!

      1. Ours has stopped heating 3 times over the past decade. The first time, we googled the model number and discovered it is a <$2 ebay part that has a limited lifespan. It takes a screwdriver and 20 minutes to replace.

        Sounds like you already made the call but for anyone else reading, if you are somewhat handy and can search the internet for troubleshooting help, many things are fixable.

      2. Mice are the enemy. Now with more things stored in my pantry, I have set out 10+ traps all over the garage, pantry and other possible entry points.

    10. Not my house, but literally within 24 hours of starting to potty train my toddler (since hey! we’re stuck at home) my car broke down and my husband got strep throat. Fun couple of days.

    11. My husband’s required to work though we are in a shelter in place area. He got a flat tire on the way to work, his spare didn’t have enough air in it, and now he can’t get a replacement tire because tire shops are non essential businesses.

      1. Can you buy online and have a tire shipped to a gas station with service bays? Gas is essential.

        1. he’s using my car from now. He’s been in touch with his favorite tire guy (yes, my husband has a favorite tire guy) and they’re not able to be open right now. It’s important to have a new tire balanced by someone who knows what they’re doing, so the gas station mechanics probably aren’t the best for this.

    12. My tub hadn’t drained in two weeks. Fun times of bailing, plunging, etc. My landlady was supposed to be leaving on a trip on the 18th so she decided to do nothing (thanks…). She finally had a plumber come this morning and praise the sweet baby Jesus, I finally have a working tub.

    13. Yup, my dryer is broken and I don’t feel like bringing an appliance repair person into my home, but I also need to dry things, you know? I have been hanging stuff to dry in my bathroom for the past week but it’s not great.

    14. Yes, our ancient ailing air conditioner finally kaputted. New ones are so not cheap but you can’t live in Houston without an air conditioner, no matter the season (plus we are supposed to hit 90 degrees this week). Grrrr.

    15. Our building has halted all non-emergency maintenance with no end date. And their definition of “emergency” does not include our clothes dryer with a broken door.

      At least we still have trash and recycling services – I’ve got friends in building where that’s been halted. It’s not like garbage collection is necessary for disease prevention or anything …

  10. I’d like to use this opportunity to foster a dog, as I understand the need is particularly acute right now. I live in DC. any recs for whom I should reach out to first/how to go about this? I realize I can google but am kind of pressed for time so thought I’d open it up for opinions/any useful info. Would have to be a small dog (under 25 lbs, although could probably squeeze by with more) to be allowed in my current place.

    1. Ok…bigger than 25 pounds, but I recommend doing some research and talking to your landlord about a retired racing greyhound. They are WONDERFUL in apartments. And, given that the tracks in Florida are closing earlier than expected due to COVID-19, many need homes now.
      I got my first one when I lived in an English Basement apartment near Eastern Market. I compiled some articles for my landlord and said, “I know they’re bigger than you’d like, but they’re quiet and used to being in small places – and wouldn’t you prefer that to a 25-pound yappy dog?” He agreed.

      If any of this sounds possible, go to http://www.gegr.org/. They’re a wonderful group. I recommend an older female – maybe around 4 or 5 years old? They’re smaller, some are less than 50 pounds.

      1. Oh tell me more about the greyhounds! We live in an apartment and worry its too small. We will probably buy a house in the fall of this year, though. I really think a greyhound would work well for us. Any tips you have would be appreciated. A lot of our local foster chapters have postponed operations.

        1. Not a greyhound owner myself, but I know three people who live in apartments with greyhounds and it works swimmingly.

    3. Last chance animal rescue in Waldorf, Maryland. They have hundreds of dogs on weekly basis. Not sure of their status now but I saw they just took many dogs from yet another hoarding situation in addition to the “regular” pups they pull from high kill shelter nationwide. I’m sure they need help more than ever.

    4. We rescued our dog 9 years ago from Lost Dog Rescue – their website is just those words .org. They’ve sent emails out about needing folks to foster so they seem like a great place to start.

  11. I’d been working along as normal as possible at home last week, and then had a giant meltdown last night. My husband tried to have a reasonable conversation and I escalated everything and ended up a shouting teary mess. Clearly I’m not dealing as well as I thought- do you have any suggestions for how to manage the total inadequacy I’m feeling, all the time? Usually I can tamp it back down but my self-talk spiraled into a total overwhelm this weekend. Is it reasonable to try to find a therapist now, or should I start with betterhelp/talkspace until the shelter in place has lifted?

    2. Definitely try to find a therapist. I’ve had mine for 2 years and speak with her once a month. I really don’t need it 90% of the time but boy am I glad to have her now!

    3. I have started journaling. I think the last time I consistently did that was during college in the 80’s. But I find that it is helpful to let it all out and include both the good and the bad. I guess it is kind of like therapy, except that I am talking to a really, really quiet therapist.

    4. If you have the $, BetterHelp has been amazing for me. I’m actually doing okay right now, but the first few months of the year were ROUGH and my therapist was a lifeline.

  12. Deep thought for the day: Those small-size lipsticks in a pack that I got at Christmas that seemed too neon bright? Look way better than my normal palette now on video calls. Who knew?

    Any other work from home surprises?

    1. I just think our brains may be broken but our skin will look great by the end. I tucked all my make-up away and have fully committed to my am and pm skincare routine.

    2. Ha, YES. I just had a similar realization: putting on 30 seconds’ worth of makeup and positioning the camera a few inches higher so it’s not pointing up at my chin makes me feel so much better!

      Video calls seem to be like headshots or media appearances: You need WAY more makeup than you think to just look alive.

  13. Hit me up with your best compression leggings. I am spinning and regular leggings keep sagging. Thanks!

  14. i live in a large city in texas….just saw a headline that gun sales have spiked due to the virus – totally unclear to me how a gun would help anyone with anything virus related. apparently people are concerned about social unrest

    1. yeah, I can’t say I would buy a gun and am generally pretty mellow about most things including coronavirus, but all this being cooped up in the house is slowly making me go insane.

    2. Because paranoid people that believe this is the biblical apocalypse also think this is the purge and someone is going to stage an assault on their home to steal their toilet paper?

      1. This.
        The logic that things will get worse and they will need a gun to defend their home and property when other people come after their stuff. The need to feel tough and vigilant against forces they cannot control.
        I just read The Dog Stars and while it’s post apocalyptic and may not be the best read right at this moment, the main character lives with a man who is steeped in guns and a very broad interpretation of self defense. It’s both a blessing and a curse over the course of the book and really made me think.
        All that being said, I think learning to live as comfortably as possible while sheltering in place is a far, and being generous to others (thru time, donations, helping hands as we can) is a far better use of our collective time than buying guns.

    3. A distant elderly relative from Alabama didn’t take this seriously (of course not, she watches Fox News) and her granddaughter, who is in nursing school, finally persuaded her she needed to take this seriously and stay away from her usual haunts. Her father posts on FB: “[Name] is all set up. She has her dogs, her guns, and her Fox News.” Ugh ugh ugh a million times ugh. Do people in gun-totin’ areas of the country not realize that normal people laugh at them? Or do they just not care?

        2. Why do I have to I have to try to understand someone who laughs at me for being educated, or being a feminist? Thx.

      3. Last week, I heard that things as simple as “hand washing” had become politicized for some home health aides in parts of the south. As in, medically vulnerable people were struggling to get their caretakers to take basic, CDC-recommended precautions, because of the perception that the media was exaggerating the threat out of hostility to the POTUS (this was made explicit). I assume this is changing, but I still haven’t wrapped my mind around it yet.

    4. I saw a similar article about Tennessee (I live in a different deep south state) and it has shot my anxiety through the roof.

    5. I live in a gun happy state and the idea is mostly for home protection. Law enforcement are scaling back a lot of functions right now. Drug testing places aren’t testing. People don’t have their usual social safety nets. Robberies may increase. People want to be able to defend their homes. I don’t think the people buying guns are planning on robbing you of your toilet paper. They want to keep other people from robbing them of their toilet paper. I agree the idea of a societal breakdown where guns are necessary is concerning though.

      1. THIS.

        If the group above who all had a good little giggle would stop to listen for just a minute, this is exactly what people are worried about.

        My husband and I have very little desire to own a gun, but were pricing out rifles today. We have six degrees between the two of us, so we are well aware that we cannot shoot the virus dead, but if people start looting, robbing, or attacking people out of frustration (which, historically, happens), we don’t want to be victims.

      2. Yes, this. Honestly, the news out of Philadelphia – that police would stop incarcerating people for crimes including robbery, was TERRIFYING as a single female who lives alone. If my state didn’t have such insanely strict gun laws, I would have bought one as well.

      3. Yep. Also in a gun- happy southern state (full disclosure we have guns in the house), and I think most of the concern is a spike in crime from unemployment, teenagers being out of school with no supervision, etc. I’m personally not too worried right now, but if this goes on for several months, the thin veneer of civilization goes flying right out the window. Even the most rationale human can’t survive in these circumstances for a prolonged time.
        Also before I get attacked for all this, I’m very pro safe gun ownership. Licensing, safety courses, background checks, waiting periods, you name it. People are reaching for whatever makes them feel safe right now. For some that’s toilet paper, for others it’s guns..

        1. Many immune compromised people have lived like this for years because regular viruses pose so great a threat to them. Genuinely rational people do just fine taking the measures they need to take to be safe.

      4. Agreed. We have guns for sporting purposes only; I don’t anticipate using them for anything else. At the same time, I’m glad we have them.

    6. Because gun nuts are crazy and will use any excuse to try to live out their end of the world/protect myself from the gubmint fantasies.

    7. I am strongly anti-gun, but my area recently had bad flooding with evacuation. There was blatant looting in some areas, which led to red cross volunteers greeted with profanities & ak47s. Horrible all around.

    8. To be fair, a lot of my liberal Asian American friends have also been getting gun permits and the like. For them, the fear of being targeted or robbed in the event of a meltdown is real, in part because of ignorant remarks and attacks from idiots blaming them for the coronavirus. Google a NYT article about this that was just published today.

    9. People in more rural areas are more likely to be subsistence hunters, and the difficulty in traveling long distances to a grocery store only to find bare shelves makes that all the more important. I know this site skews left and rich, but not everyone is merely a gun nut.

  15. I need…some words of encouragement. I’m a total extrovert, so social distancing is hard for me. Add to that, I’m 7w4d pregnant with a very much wanted and long-awaited IVF baby. (We did a frozen transfer in mid-February before we realized that the world was ending.) Add to that…I have asthma that makes breathing during even a regular cold very difficult.

    I’m terrified. And sad. And so angry. I can’t drink, and I’m off my anxiety meds (it’s a low dose, but still makes a difference). I’m finding it hard to get excited about the pregnancy yet. (It’s so early.) The thought of being basically under house arrest for weeks (months?) is really hard – and the what-ifs are terrible. Add to that, my parents and sister are half a continent away…

    My husband and I are incredibly lucky to be able to work from home, and we are not concerned about out livelihood drying up. We’ve got a great house, two great dogs, and a great life – but I’m just…..in the dark.

    1. Talk to your provider today about how to get set up with teleHealth therapy. Your RE can likely refer you to someone with fertility experience. This is very hard and you need and deserve help.

    2. Can you go back on your anxiety meds? Your health during pregnancy matters – I hope your doctor can see that. Hugs <3

      1. Yes I took lexapro all through pregnancy. Multiple doctors convinced me it was safe and it really helped.

        OP, hugs. Early pregnancy is a scary time regardless and this is especially scary. And after IVF too. You have a lot to deal with!

        1. Same advice. I am 21 weeks and still taking anxiety medicine (Zoloft). The pregnancy hormones have really messed with me (and now all the craziness) and I’m so glad my doctors supported me staying on the medication. Happy mom is so so important! Hugs to you.

          1. +1. Call your OB. I took a low dose of Prozac throughout pregnancy and have a happy healthy two year old now.

      2. i took a low dose of zoloft. virtual therapy. prenatal yoga. it is such a hard and scary time to be pregnant. deep breaths. my heart really goes out to all the pregnant people. hopefully by the time you deliver things will be a bit more calm

    3. Consider yourself lucky! IVF retrievals and transfers have been cancelled, so you’re one of the very fortunate ones. The rest of us have to just wonder if we’ll be able to restart the whole process within the year.

      1. This is really insensitive. and it’s very tiresome to deal with people who always have to one-up anyone else’s complaint. OP’s feelings are valid and important.

      3. This is unkind. Nobody has it easy right now. I know how hard it is to have to put fertility treatments on hold but being pregnant in a pandemic is also terrifying.

      4. I agree that this is somewhat insensitive, but she’s also partially right. I’m 13 weeks from an IVF FET and while I’m nervous about prenatal care, etc., I also know how lucky I am to have gotten in under the wire, especially given I’m 40 and I could have very well been out of time if this transfer hasn’t worked. I consider myself very fortunate, on balance, and I try to remind myself of that when I get stressed.

    4. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, this is definitely not a great time to be pregnant. Do you watch Mama Doctor Jones on YouTube? She has some great informative videos, and a new video about COVID-19 and pregnancy that might help. Knowledge is power!

    5. Thanks to all of you, OP here. I appreciate the suggestions, and agree that going back on Lexapro or starting Zoloft is probably a good idea. I’m anxious under the best of circumstances and….this is not that.

      To anon at 11:37 – I’m so sorry to hear that your treatment cycles have been cancelled. I have several friends in the same boat, and I know how hard it is to wait even an extra month – let alone an unknown period of time. I AM lucky. I am also really scared. These two states can exist at the same time.

  16. There was a poster last week, I think in response to one of the first Good Morning! posts, who said they were having a really hard time getting through and didn’t know if they even wanted to. (I’m paraphrasing a bit).

    I just wanted to see how you are doing? Did the weekend help perhaps? Thinking of you!

    1. That was me. And thanks. Thanks to everyone.

      I’m doing better, but still taking it day by day. I’ve never had thoughts that dark before but it really just crushed me all at once. Like the whole world decided that an online only life was acceptable from here on out. But that’s not really true, plenty of people also hate this. I was also really really concerned about starving to death, which I now realize is unlikely. The pizza place still delivers and the governor said at some point he’ll have to stop all the restrictions.

      I’m not doing wfh right now and just taking time, which seems to help. It sort of triggered me when my whole job changed into what was essentially really tedious homework in the course of a day. I’m unimpressed with the way they handled all of this and I’m thinking hard of what kind of work I should do in the future.

      1. Maybe now is a good time to learn to cook? Nothing fancy or complicated, just basic life-sustaining cooking skills. I find it very therapeutic and empowering to give self-care (and care for others) through cooking.

  17. A lot of people seem to be not understanding the point of social distancing. Some of the state parks in California were so crowded over the weekend that they had to be shut down. I guess “stay home“ is unclear in some way? Some people seem to be interpreting it as “go drive several hours to that cool park I never got around to visiting.” Ugh.

    1. The problem is that the message has never been anything remotely like “stay home.” The SF order specifically tells people to go outside for exercise. And reporters asked for clarification about where outside they could go, and SF officials told them people were welcome to go to beaches and state parks for outdoor activities. CA is densely populated so when everyone heads to the parks they will get too crowded. But it isn’t inherently the fault of these people – they were following both the letter and the spirit of the rule.

      1. +1. It’s no surprise if people are confused when instructions to stay 6′ away from everyone and to exercise outside are incompatible. And if an outdoor area is too crowded, with no organized pulsing or whatever, who’s to say who has to leave and who gets to stay? It doesn’t help that so many parks have free admission right now. It’s not ok, but it’s predictable.

        1. Yeah, I don’t fault people for thinking “oh big outdoor park” that should be a way to get some fresh air while staying six feet away. That said, when they showed up and saw the place was packed because everyone had the same idea, they should have left.

      2. No, the statewide order was to stay at home (using those words), which was how it was reported in the media along with the words “shelter in place.” Yes, exercise was encouraged, but in the spirit of walking or running around your neighborhood, not taking destination trips. I’m finding that a LOT of people I know are looking to “prove” that their exceptions are not actually harmful to others. Fortunately, I know a lot more people who are actually taking the required steps and doing it with good spirit.

      3. Oh come on, this isn’t hard to figure out. I’m in Illinois. People go walking in forest preserves. We all stay well apart in the parking lot, well apart on the trails, and when it’s crowded, people shift to and find other spots (my friend and I just found a bike path that we’re walking on that so far no one else has discovered). if you’re really walking on a path / forest preserve / park that is crowded and you don’t leave, you’re deliberately choosing to “misunderstand” the directives.

      4. From SFGate:

        It’s the question on the minds of many San Francisco residents as they readjust their lives to the rules of a shelter-in-place order.

        Can I hop in my car to drive across town to go to say Crissy Field or Land’s End for a jog, or maybe even leave the county entirely to get some fresh air at Stinson Beach or Half Moon Bay?

        San Francisco Mayor London Breed addressed this question on March 16 when the order was first announced.

        “Please limit outdoor exercise to near your home,” the mayor said when a resident posed the question to her Facebook. “If there is no urgent need, you cannot take unnecessary trips in your car, or on public transport.”

    2. It’s totally reasonable for people to think that the one way to get through this is to get outside while still being able to stay away from people, and that going to a wilderness park is a good way to do that.

      They ARE understanding the point of social distancing, it’s simply that right now, the demand for open outdoor space is much greater than usual.

      We’re all just trying to get through the best we can. Nobody has ever done anything like this before, and that means things will inevitably go awry (like too many people at a state park). That’s OK. We’ll just pick up and do our best with the next challenge.

      1. I can see that desire to get out (I share it), but do people really think they’re the only ones with the same idea? I’m a lifelong California resident and I ALWAYS assume there will be crowds because there are…always crowds. I’m hopeful that it was an innocent situation, but after seeing the crowds from Florida and idiotic remarks like “if I get corona, I get corona,” I’m a little less willing to assume good intentions. I’d care less if people weren’t dying.

        1. I care (NYC here) and you can pry my daily walk outside from my cold dead hands. If they closed the parks I would leave the city and bring this illness (I assume everyone in NYC is infected) to the suburbs.

    3. People are still allowed, and encouraged, to go outside for exercise and fresh air, so people naturally flock to the parks. Some people are probably thinking “gee, I haven’t been to such-and-such park and a while, I should go now that there’s nothing else to do,” but there’s obviously an issue when too many people have that same thought. We’d probably have the same problem in Boston if it weren’t so dang cold out!

      But my partner and I have just been going on walks and runs around the neighborhood.

      1. We definitely do have the same problem in Boston. On Saturday, the Esplanade was packed. The Fells have been packed. Wollaston Beach was packed with people walking/running by the water.

    4. One other thing to consider is the number one reason people end up at the ER is car accidents or sports injuries. We need to reduce the strain on hospitals right now so reducing our driving and reducing our chance of getting weekend warrior injuries is paramount. You can still go for a walk but I wouldn’t go for a long drive to get to a place you want to go for that walk. I wanted to go for a scenic drive this weekend but ultimately decided against it. One less car on the road means one less potential car accident. Also, what if I broke down or had to pee. Staying at home is the safest for everyone right now, particularly as I’m privileged enough to have a big back yard I can enjoy. I’d rather leave room on the nature trail for the people stuck in a crowded apartment.

      1. Omg the medical professionals aren’t even saying this. Go outside, go for a drive. Don’t do anything dumb but you don’t have to lock yourself in your house.

        1. I’m not the Anon who posted this, but it makes perfect sense to me. Reducing our statistical risk of needing medical care is within our control, and those of us who live in quiet, walkable neighborhoods have the option of leaving the parks for people who do not.

        2. Officials in San Francisco have asked for this specifically. Idk about other states.

        3. It’s definitely not a reach. I’m seeing bored people posting social media videos of themselves doing dumb crap like living room parkour.

    5. I’m a Californian. The orders said walks outside were ok and even encouraged as long as you maintain a 6 feet distance from anyone not in your household. I haven’t been going on walks but my college aged daughter has – we live at the base of some hills so she and a few of her friends go walking up the hill in a single file line with 6 foot spacing.

      It was an absolutely gorgeous weekend weather-wise so I understand why people were drawn to the parks and beaches. The problem with driving somewhere is that you have to use bathrooms, gas stations, and possibly stores along the way. And if everyone had the same idea as you, which happened this weekend, it’s hard to maintain the 6 foot distance.

      It’s better to walk in your own neighborhood if you must walk. However, I realize there are lots of people who do not have yards or live in un-walkable neighborhoods so I have sympathy.

      I have less sympathy for my next door neighbor who clearly had other people’s kids over for a play date this weekend.

      1. I’m the OP and I went on a walk in a local park, but my husband and I were the only people who made any effort to move over on the walking paths to give other people space (others were walking three abreast). I’m not sure what the issue is, but most people in my area don’t seem to be really trying to maintain that distance. I can only change my own behavior and I’m going to do my best to avoid any areas with crowds. It’s just a little disappointing.

  18. After struggling through last week sitting on a dining room chair at my makeshift desk, I realized I need to get a more comfortable chair. Does anyone have any desk chairs they find really comfortable? Would prefer under $200, and needs to be able to be shipped or procured at Staples, Home Depot, or the like.

    1. I had the same problem – the wooden chair in my “home office” I never used for more than 20 minutes at a time before now was not cutting it. I got this from Amazon for $60 and it’s getting the job done. Not what I’d pick for “most comfortable chair I’ll use forever” but for the next few weeks (months?) (and the next 30+ years of random days I’ll work from home) it’s perfect.
      https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08161NN1X/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    3. One clarification point: I have wide hips/thighs so would prefer a chair with arms that can accommodate that!

    4. If you can get to your office, go steal your chair. That’s what lots of people at my workplace have done and they’re really happy about it.

      1. Our workplace told us to take keyboards and screens, but discouraged taking chairs… because the ergonomics people thought transporting a big office chair might be an ergo risk!

    5. Not a chair, but I had the worst back pain last week from sitting. Normally I use a standing desk 50% of the time but don’t have that at home and didn’t want to spend $200 for one for this period, even if it’s 2-3 months at home.

      I ordered a $36 standing desk from amazon and it is really well made – not particle board or plywood, but it looks like many layers of wood veneer smushed together. It’s made by Wallnature and called UPdesk. It has three adjustable monitor levels and three adjustable keyboard levels with right/left hand reversal and a slot for your cell phone. It will be very useful. Link in post to follow.

  19. I’m MOH in a mid-September wedding. Bach party was pegged for second weekend in August in a domestic destination. How would you handle planning (or not planning) this given current conditions? I can’t find it in me to put a deposit down on something in light of the state of the world. Should I just try to find something with flex cancellation policies, or just put the whole thing on hold? It would be for about 10 women coming from multiple corners of the country, so travel would be essential no matter the destination.

    I have so much sympathy for brides who have to cancel or face the risk of cancelling… such a bummer. I haven’t gotten the bride’s take on this yet, but figured I should figure out how to approach the convo before breaching the topic. She’s generally (but not always) reasonable, so I’m not sure how she’s going to react.

    1. If you go somewhere off-season, you would probably be welcomed with open arms. Not sure where that is in August (Houston? Vegas?) but maybe if your bride is at all cool you can do a stay-cation in her city (there is a fancy hotel somewhere or fun local resort) and support any local businesses that survive until then :(

      1. I like the Vegas idea. It’s a destination that doesn’t require pre-planning, and August is definitely off season so finding a hotel on a couple of weeks notice should be easy enough. And under normal circumstances there are flights to there from most places. No need to set something up that will require advanced deposits in uncertain times.

    2. Adding that, while I hope and expect this will be better managed and we’ll be back to some level of normalcy by August, it’s also really hard to ask people to put down deposits or budget for travel and a vacation right now given the immediate environment… especially since I only personally know 3 of the other women.

      1. I’m planning a bachelorette party for a friend in June. I booked hotel rooms that were fully refundable.

    4. Don’t plan it now. A bachelore11e party should be no ones priority. If things get better and you can make it happen, you’ll put together what you can quickly.

      1. Here is an idea: could the bach party happen later, even after the wedding? Assuming your friend’s life won’t change over night because of getting married (depending on how traditional she is), the party is mainly a girls night out with her being the center of attention. That can still happen after she married.

        1. I like this idea too. Maybe plan on having it 6 mos – 1 year after the wedding, assuring her up and down that it WILL happen and will celebrate her. (And follow through!!! Maybe even pick a far out weekend and send a save the date so she feels like it’s somewhat concrete. You could get creative with the theme, like, cheers to making it through first few months of marriage! Or something.)

          I am financially secure (for now) but still agree with all of the posters about things like, wanting to redo my cancelled vacations when this is over, frankly worrying about feeling like it’s passed and then all of a sudden there’s a resurgence, etc etc etc on top of the normal reluctance to fly two months in a row for one person. If she’s bummed you can frame it like, look, you can try for the immediate date but likely few will be able to make it, won’t the spirit of it be more fun if actual people are there, even if timings not ideal??

        2. I did mine two days before the rehearsal dinner. Everyone who was in town (men, even) came along for it.

    5. If I were you, I’d talk to the other women who would be invited and see what their thoughts are before going to the bride. Then plan a virtual happy hour with the bride.

    6. If I was an attendee, I would think you were fairly of touch if you went ahead with planning something right now (and I’m not even facing the $ pressures that some attendees might be facing right now). Unfortunately, I probably would immediately opt-out if faced with the choice to commit now and would be pretty bummed that the decision wasn’t held off until closer to the time period so I could make a more accurate call.

      1. Yep, all of this.
        I think many of us here on this board are fortunate in that we are able to work remotely and are continuing to be paid as normal. My best friend works for A Large Hotel Chain and just got furloughed for 2 months at 20% salary. Another friend who works in hospitality is losing her job at the end of the week for the foreseeable future; maybe forever. A lot of people are freaked out and facing really uncertain futures. I would not want to ask them to make a financial commitment right now – even for August – and if someone asked me, even in the extremely lucky position I am in right now, I would say no. Just because things are so crazy and unpredictable right now. My job, which seems very safe on the surface, is not assured to continue and I am not going to commit to a multi-thousand-dollar expense until things level out.

      2. I agree with looking out of touch for booking absolute travel. I think the most you can do is ask people to save the weekend, with a note that the actual logistics (including whether it’s a virtual or in-person shower) will come at a later date. That way you are being proactive without asking people to commit to something concrete.

        1. Thanks…. I think this is exactly what I’m going to do. To date I have the bridal party holding the date and my next move was/is to have the other invitees circle the date. Logistics will have to follow, and I’ll make it clear that by holding a date we’re not asking for a firm commitment for anything. But if a group of 10 can agree on a date for a destination to a virtual party, that’s the best we can do for the moment

          And, FWIW, I’m team “No way in Heck We Can Plan This Right Now” … but Emotions. Bride. Expectations. And, yea. It’s just tough all around. Thanks for your valuable input and gut checking I’m headed down the right path.

        1. And… that came out way meaner than I intended. I know it’s tough and it sounds like you are doing the right thing.

    7. People will all be traveling in August for the party and then again in September for the wedding? Any chance you/the bride could give them a break on this, cancel the party, and only ask them to travel once for this event?

      My reasoning: Many of us are having to put vacation plans on hold and give up travel we’d planned on. Once I did get to start traveling again, I’d prefer to actually take my own vacation, rather than go to a bach party. But then, a bach party with 10 women from all over the country, most of whom I don’t know, in hotter-than-blazes August, isn’t my idea of fun. So, maybe just ignore me. : )

      1. Even if she is a total narcissist and bride-zilla, she may want to get on board with “Sheryl’s Shower of Love” to some worthy relief fund. It can be me-me-me in a good way.

  20. I used to be merely curvy.

    Now, in size X, the seat is way too snug. In size X+1, the seat is barely tolerable, but the waist is so large that they droop down. I am getting . . . even more extremely pear shaped. Kardashian-level pearness, apparently. Where should I be e-shopping? Since tailoring is out of the question at the moment, I will need pants that fit off the rack if I ever leave the house again.

    X waist size is usual ladies 6
    seat measurements should accommodate a 10.

    1. Ah, yes, my proportions exactly! Try out different brands that sell ‘curvy fit’ pants. Do you need work pants? I usually have luck at Talbots, Ann Taylor and Loft. Some Jcrew styles work for me too, especially anything that is higher waisted. But since most of us are stuck at home; if you need jeans, again, look for the curvy fit types. Also, find some belts you like – they help keep everything up if you don’t/can’t deal with tailoring immediately. For cozy lounge pants, looser types, like jogger styles, with drawstring waists work better for me than leggings.

    2. This is my life. Anne Taylor curvy fit. Old Navy Rockstar jeans are made for us. I also get all work dresses, skirts and some jackets tailored.

    3. Because I’m short too and most standard plus-sized stores have cuts that don’t fit me properly either despite my weight size, I’ve scoured through plus-sized brands on Saks Fifth Avenue. If you need more economical options and something a cut above Target, I’d recommend Eloquii. They have highly fashionable options, and their sales are fantastic.

    1. I just posted about him below before I saw this. I am also thinking about him.

    2. Same. He was such an important voice to me ten years ago as a terrified law student new lawyer graduating into a recession. I have been praying for him.

    3. Same. I have been thinking about him too, oddly more than other public figures I have heard about who have contracted the virus.

    4. Same. I’ve been reading him for so long and he’s always seemed like a good guy. And he’s 44 and has a young child. It all feels very close to home.

    5. Me too. I am just a year younger, also with asthma and a kid. And I’m not a public figure who will have priority for testing and a ventilator.

      1. I know David Lat is well known in the legal community, but he is not a household name at all and I’m sure he did not have priority in testing and a ventilator because he’s a “public figure.” I assure you emergency room doctors in NYC don’t read AtL and have never heard of him. He has posted about his experience, and he went to the ER twice before he finally got tested, and the second time it was only because he was sick enough to be admitted to the hospital. That’s very much the “common person” experience. If he got priority for a ventilator (there are still enough for everyone at the moment, so I doubt priority was an issue), it was because of his relatively young age and good health, not his fame. Of course if you have to choose between intubating a 44 year old and an 85 year old, you would choose the 44 year old.

  22. Hit me with your best recommendations for lighthearted, 30-minute comedies. We recently finished Veep and before that Brooklyn 99 for reference.

    1. Schitt’s Creek, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, I’m Sorry (especially if you have kids), Another Period, Drunk History

      1. Seconding I’m Sorry. I think it’s totally underrated/rarely recommended and it’s so good. I saw a few episodes on a plane and binged the whole thing when I got home!

    2. Parks & Rec or Scrubs if you haven’t seen them already. If you can find it anywhere, I enjoyed Selfie–it only lasted a season, though.

    3. Grace and Frankie. Fleabag. If you want to go classic Friends, The Office, A Different World.

    6. I’m watching Frasier on Hulu. So far it holds up!

      Also on Hulu is Younger. Totally silly but a lot of fun.

    7. It’s technically an hour, but when you watch it on DVR and FF through the commercials, it’s shorter than that: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. Think Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt meets Glee. I think there are only 5 or 6 episodes so far – it’s new this season.

      We also really enjoy Young Sheldon.

    10. Over the weekend, we watched almost all of the episodes of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. Some are better than others, but the cars are fun, too! We also started watching Cooking on High, which is flat out hilarious – not like a TV comedy (cooking show with weed).

    12. I don’t know if you like adult-focused cartoons, but my go-to is Bob’s Burgers for wholesome, clever, uplifting comedy. Archer is also great – though can be darker/more mature (the main character is each is voiced by the same voice actor)

  23. Has anybody heard of the brand Stio for outdoor clothes? How’s the quality?

    I’ve been searching online for water resistant pants at REI, Northface, etc. and a Stio ad popped up on Facebook. The clothes look well tailored from the photos, and I love the yellow color of the pants I’m considering.

    1. I ordered a pair of Stio ski pants and the quality seemed good, but they didn’t fit me well. I’m a cusp size and most outdoor retailers seem to think that as women get larger, they invariably get taller (so there are HUGE inseams on size 12 waists). That was my major problem with Stio, but I liked the look and feel of the pants.

    3. Great brand, very high end. My husband is partial to their snow pants when he can get them on deep discount. I have a pair of their women’s pants and they are very well tailored!

      1. Go for it! It’s nice to support small businesses for outdoor gear. Customer service was good when I had to return my ski pants as well.

    5. They’re about the same price point as Patagonia, without the environmental mission. All their stuff is made in China. Worth a shot, especially if your issue is fit, but I generally don’t think they’re as solid or have as extensive R&D as some of the other brands in the market. I size up.

    6. Stio is the successor brand to Cloudveil. It’s based in Jackson Hole. Their stuff is not cut for tall or large people, but I like their quality and their customer service is excellent.

  24. Do you all read Above the Law? The founder, David Lat, also an author and all-around interesting guy, has COVID-19. He had been writing about it online and I got the idea he was on the upswing, but I read yesterday that he is in critical condition, on a ventilator. He is 44 and really fit. He has exercise-induced asthma, so maybe that made him more susceptible to a bad case? I am really worried about this person I don’t know.

    1. I miss doing Body Pump at the YMCA.

      For other fans, Les Mills posted free videos because of the pandemic. I don’t have equipment so I can’t do body pump, but I’ve done other videos and it felt great to move again.

    2. Same here. I also have asthma so I’m paying close attention to his case and trying not to freak out.

      1. Same. It is unclear how much asthmatics and smokers have to worry (there is a general lumping in of “lung disease”)

      1. He’s not hospitalized, so it seems like it’s much more mild for him, so far anyway. The scary thing is many people seem to have mild disease for 7-10 days before getting severely ill (that was the case for David Lat too) so you don’t really know you’re out of the woods until you’ve been sick for ~two weeks without needing the hospital.

    1. I’m interested to know this as well. Any updates from the people who posted about this last week?

    2. Mine is still open for business and expects people to be there. Note that they are claiming to be critical need in the fight against covid-19. This is a very specific defense industry business. Not a medical related or public health effort in sight per my view.
      So the mfg floor remains open. The office workers are sparse I am told, working from home and being prodded that productivity will remain normal, etc. I am working from home. I’m expecting a shelter in place for the area I live in sometime soon (if reasonable heads prevail) and I do wonder if that will change the company’s tune.

      1. We are part of the DIB also and all of our manufacturing plants across the country (US) and where possible per local restrictions, globally. We have gotten numerous letters from our USG prime contractor customers that we are expected to stay open and direct guidance from the DHS that we are considered critical infrastructure, so we are open.

      2. Also in DIB. The neighboring county issued a shelter-in-place order, so only employees working specific contracts are going to work. Our county does not have shelter-in-place, so we’re open. Mfg will continue, but in a complete 180 from last week my boss is now saying to work from home unless you have a good reason not to. That’s his call though, not the company’s. He has asked a handful of people to come in if needed, as one of our jobs is to resolve mfg issues.

        1. The only reason I have a WFH computer is because my husband used to play World of Warcraft. I think GameStop really is more essential than my industry right now. I have to get a new mouse before I can get my laptop to WFH.

    3. I posted about my law firm last week. Our official policy was attorneys WFH after exposure, staff can use their sick days if they get ill. The end.

      Exactly a week ago, I told my managing partner that we would be subject to shelter in place orders by this week, and she thought that was ridiculous. I also said that staff should be able to work from home, and provided a laundry list of tasks that staff complete using the remote working software that the firm already has. The response was that staff could not work from home under any circumstances. I was also accused of acting unprofessionally and “out of line” by raising my concerns.

      Our most profitable offices are now subject to stay-at-home orders. The firm has not announced any official changes. But, they are setting up my assistant to work from home. So far, I have refrained from sending an all firm email saying “I TOLD YOU SO!!!!”

      1. I’ve also been really disappointed with my managers’ leadership during this. We’ve been scolded for discussing contingency plans among ourselves, and also told we’re lucky to have jobs at all right now (so we should shut up about safety concerns. And yes, we’re in health care.)

        I think comments like your boss also (“unprofessional,” “out of line”) show that managers aren’t handling their own anxiety well enough and are trying to cope through denial. Like somehow they will gain control by silencing or ignoring their reports’ legitimate worries.

    4. My office is still open and a number of staff, mostly over age 60, are there. The younger staff are all WFH, but I’m worried that starting next week there will be pressure to show up in the office. I am senior so the pressure on me will be greater.

      1. Out of curiosity, why do you anticipate this pressure next week? Is it a sense that WFH has “gone on long enough” or something? All other indicators seem to be pointing the other way…

        1. Because the original WFH agreements were all through the end of this week, and there’s been no suggestion that they be extended.

          1. Are you in a place with a shelter in place/at home order? I’m in IL and that order seemed to be the tipping point for unreasonable managers/businesses as to office employees that can largely operate remotely (even if the business itself is exempt under the law). Ohio and Michigan has issued their own orders since we went into shelter at home. For now, our order is through 4/7, and I don’t think businesses will get pushy about returning to the office until after that point… or whenever the order is lifted.

    5. I posted about my husband who works IT for a hospital. He works in an office building down the street from the hospital that shares space with clinics. He and the rest of the staff are capable of working 100% remotely, because they are often “on call” over the weekends, but the hospital management basically doesn’t trust them to work from home so they haven’t let them.

      Over the weekend the hospital issued a work from home policy but said it was at a manager’s discretion. My husband’s immediate manager is the kind of guy who thinks being a mid level IT manager at a regional hospital puts him on par with Donald Trump and Boris Johnson, so he’s acting like he will do everyone a huge favor and allow them to work 50% from home on a trial basis. I am seriously out of swear words to describe the guy.

    6. Yup. I work for a state government and while the public health officials are issuing all these mandates and warnings, everywhere else we’re only just now, and very reluctantly, starting to be allowed to work from home. And the governor won’t close offices to the public.

    7. My husband is classed as essential but drew a hard line with his boss today. He’s happy to work as much as he can, but he has 50% caring responsibilities and I’m immunocompromised so he’ll be working from home for the foreseeable. I suspect his workplace is trying to make it to Easter break before closing completely but honestly, I need him home before then.

    8. YES! I’m a law clerk. The courts in the state have been closed for a week now and are only open for emergency matters. I’m still in the office because the department can’t decide on a WFH policy because the judiciary has never done one before. We are capable of WFH. The original plan was to have us stop working and use up our vacation time and then go on unemployment… now we’re still working but in limbo. We all still have work to do because the parties are still filing briefs but it is a weird and eerie feeling.

      1. Yes, DH’s courthouse is doing exactly the same thing. I convinced him to use vacation time for this week, but we’ll see if the policied progreds.

      2. Me too. although court is having only “essential” hearings, my boss (who is 65 BTW) still wants people coming in. I refused, because I can do literally all non-courtroom work from home, and am now in trouble.

    9. The woman who cleans my parents’ house works at a hospital in maintenance. She must keep her job for health insurance, as her husband was just diagnosed with colon cancer and is on chemo and isn’t working. Her husband’s doctor called them and told her that she should stop working for 2 weeks, as they are trying to prepare him for urgent surgery and they don’t want him to be exposed now, as she will almost guranteed to be be exposed to the virus at the hospital. They have already run out of masks on the floors…. visiting family members stole them. Nice. Anyway, her employer told her she couldn’t take the time off as they need her or she will be fired. If she quits, she loses her health insurance. Obamacare in our state is TERRIBLE and none of the major hospitals/doctors are in Obamacare networks. So her husband would lose his oncologist/surgeon. They live on shoe string.

    10. My rediculous office had to close because some tested positive. I have to idea what they are doing with support staff. I posted last week about how they assigned busy work with quotas and billing sheets for attorneys (we’re in house; we don’t bill normally.) last week the directives were changing so quickly (do this! No, do that! No, do it like this! We’re judging you on this! No, on that!) that I just closed my laptop and cried.

      I had a vacation scheduled for this week so I’m just taking it. My husband keeps telling its a waste of vacation but I’m having trouble seeing long term right now. Also, my four year old is home and I can at least allow keep him occupied while my husband works.

      Any tips on billing nine hours a day while also watching a kid and stuggling with mental health are welcome.

      1. …and I can’t seem to type a coherent post on my phone while watching my kid, let alone do legal work. Yikes! Sorry!

    11. Mine isn’t being a reckless jerk, but I am classed as essential personnel and still being asked to do things that will require going to campus. My guy is an engineer working on isolation and containment units at hospitals. About 90% of his department is now WFH but the rest of them (including him) are still at hospitals every day. It’s scary but such important work that I can’t fault him. I stayed at his place this weekend and he started getting work calls at 10am preparing for today and was still working on documents late last night. I finally came home to check on my kitties and get stuff done because he was constantly on the phone and it’s a small space.

    12. My biglaw firm finally closed all their offices, except for a “skeleton crew” of staff who are scanning, printing, faxing, and mailing things (none of these things are essential, IMO). I would like to point out that the skeleton crew coming in are the lowest paid workers at our firm, with very little bargaining power. We also got an email saying although we operate in several states with shelter-in-place orders, we are exempt because a private law firm is somehow an essential business?? ALSO we keep getting multiple emails a day about our hours and how we are 100% expected to remain on pace for our 2,000+ hour/year commitments, no excuses. Grumble.

    13. My state is not under shelter in place, though it should be. It’s one of the states being held up as an example of what not to do, which is great.

      I work at a law firm and an email went out on Thursday saying attorneys and paralegals should work from home/limit time in the office. Secretaries still have to work in the office unless they have health issues. I have been working from home since last Monday. I went in on Friday afternoon to drop some files off and pick some stuff up and almost every single person on my floor was working in the office and had been all day. I think they all think they’re essential. Which is hilarious. Especially since I’m in the estates and trusts section and a solid majority of our clients are in the highest risk categories and we should not be meeting with them at all right now. And we’re on the floor with all the meeting rooms, so all the germs are extra concentrated. We’re not at all prepared to work remotely, honestly. We have the tech capabilities, and most people have laptops, but we’re heavily paper based and with a lot of older and elderly clients, their ability to do stuff online is limited.

    14. Yup, the idiocy continues. My company is trying to get an exemption to stay open by claiming our products are used in hospitals. True, but WHILE BUILDING THEM. Nobody’s using half-finished hospitals, chuckleheads. Construction crews are shut down.

    15. Two weeks ago I was told to “stay in [my] lane” when I suggested we get real about planning to send staff home. Ten days ago I was being told that I didn’t “understand the business realities” of lost productivity etc. re: sending staff home. Last week I was told sending staff home wouldn’t happen unless it was legally mandated, and my logic of “by law or for self preservation folks are going to stop coming in soon” was dismissed. On Thursday night (California) the offices were closed by order of the governor. Friday was a scramble to get essential roles set up to work remotely, a hodgepodge… If only we’d had more time to plan… if only someone had brought this up weeks ago. So sick of this.

  26. for those of you with shelter-in-place or similar situations where nonessential businesses are closed, is that just the physical office?

    Or does it include non-essential businesses where the workforce can be fully remote? I would think the former since the spirit is to keep people home.

    Example: a video game design company that has a physical office but employees are fully capable of working remotely. The office itself closes. Business can continue remotely. Is that what’s happening in your areas?

    2. Yes, that is it exactly the situation in my area. People cannot leave their home to work for non-essential businesses but are not prohibited from working in their home.

      Basically, it is forcing employers to shift their employees to remote work if at all possible.

    3. My understanding is that the physical offices are closed to prevent physical interactions with people. I’m still WFH. I hope this forces some businesses who have been dragging their feet to allow people to WFH.

      My husband works building maintenance and I’m not sure what that will mean for him. They are talking about working in shifts for a few hours a day to make sure all HVAC an other equipment is functioning properly.

      1. I’m in the office of building maintenance. Our techs are considered essential if their building is open, but all the office staff have to WFH.

    8. yes, that’s the order that the Bay Area has been under since last Tuesday. People can still wfh. Less commute also means fewer traffic accidents, so relieving hospitals. Today, my counties’ bus company stopped collecting fare and asked people to board through the rear doors, to minimize driver exposure. Tesla is deigning to shut down manufacturing tonight, nobody understands why they were able to defy the order, the sheriff has made it clear that they aren’t classed as essential business.

      1. they’ve been lying and pretending they were going to manufacture ventilators even though we all knew it wasn’t true. I’m pretty sure SpaceX is still in business on the coast of Texas

    9. IL – remote work is still happening, for both essential and nonessential businesses. It seems like most people have taken the order to mean “close your offices; try to get everyone remote.”

  27. Because everything is a dumpster fire, it is also pollen season in my area. This is making it nearly impossible to exercise off the pandemic stress without killing my lungs. Alternative suggestions for stress relief? I’ve run out of home projects that require hammering things violently.

      1. I did that this weekend! It was great. Got to really take out some aggression on kneading that dough.

    3. Meditation. Yoga nidra. Restorative or yin yoga. Singing loudly to fun music. Or angry music, whichever resonates with you more. Wine.

  28. Possibly a minor quandary in the grand scheme and state of things, but here goes:

    I’ve been accepted to my dream-ish T14 law school in the US with most tuition and living expenses covered. But with the COVID-19 visa issuances are suspended (I’m not a citizen), and I’m not sure in what state the US will be come August. With so much uncertainty, I gather a lot of friends are deferring MBA enrollment since there is no point in flying to the US and paying $$$$ to take online classee and not networking. Not sure the law school will offer that option, though.

    WWYD, or what would be your advice if your daughter was scheduled to start school this year?

    If it matters, I live in an affected country with an initially high # of cases, but which has so far fared better than the US with regard to testing and hospitalizing patients. We are currently not on lockdown. Understand that this is a rapidly changing situation and things might decline quickly here. Also, I’m in my mid 30s and trying to switch careers in a very ageist society so don’t really wait another year. (I worked as a grossly underpaid paralegal for a few years and found law to be a good fit — but admission to the bar is way too competitive in my country.)

    1. I would absolutely ask about deferral, especially if you are traveling internationally (from South Korea?).

    2. I would ask her to keep an open mine re deferring for a year if the $ didn’t disappear.

      FWIW, I find that older students often practice ahead of their peers, so they may catch up more. Plus, it’s rare that people do the math to figure out that that 30ish lawyer is brand new vs a 4th year (etc.). Unless you are visibly old / haggard (me, today), “established but still young” is where most people land.

    3. Plan on attending and postpone if your student visa does not come through or classes are on hold. That is so far away in terms of how fast things are developing, there is no point in guessing how things will be – but on an optimistic note, China (allegedly), with quarantining/social distancing, reached their peak after three months. The US is stubborn and doesn’t have as much power in terms of keeping people shut in so it might be a little longer, but August is five months away. Plan on having to quarantine yourself for two weeks before starting classes though.

    4. I do not understand the visa requirements completely, but know that law schools have been able to proceed with online classes without jeopardizing a student’s visa.It is March, so I would take a wait and see approach. Not quit your current job, but make tentative plans as if you were coming. Depending on what happens over the next three or four months, you can decide whether to come.If so, sign the lease, etc. I am betting a law school will accept a deferral in this situation if you are not permitted to enter the country or it would be safer to stay in your home country. I did not find the networking in my first year particularly useful, so I am not sure I would base my decision upon those opportunities. I would hope that by your second year the impact of COVID-19 would lessen. If you are permitted the option, would you rather spend the next year taking taking courses online or in your current position?

    5. Since you don’t want to defer, my advice is to start this year if your law school offers online classes (I believe most grad schools do right now) and, when you can get a visa, you have the option to move to the US.

      Whilst it’s never a bad thing to network, I don’t think that you lose anything by not networking during your first year – it’s definitely not so important that you should defer if you want to start this year. In any case, I would assume that all the students would be in the same situation.

      1. And this is based on the assumption that you can study overseas online without a US visa. My assumption is that you can (but I could be wrong!) because I know many people who have completed their LLM here but have never lived or intended to live in the US – I can’t picture that they held student visas.

  29. How are others who live alone doing? Any suggestions or things that have helped you?

    I’m really struggling. Having had no true social interactions for 9 days and not knowing when I will be able to see people in person again is so hard. I’m doing the following: many text exchanges with various groups of friends to discuss whatever thoughout the day, sending texts to my closest friends throughout the day, phone calls in the evening once people get done with work, playing games online with friends when also being on the phone, watching movies at the same time as friends and discussing, a zoom brunch on Saturday. Any other ideas? I may really consider not living alone in the future because of this. I feel like I would be doing so much better if I had just one other person to interact with in person. I’m not sure I’ll make it another month.

    1. Can you walk outside in your area with a buddy, while maintaining necessary distance? Or are you in too dense of a locale?

    2. The thing that’s making a huge difference for me is that I have local family who I’m seeing, in a very distant way (we are eating together but no physical contact). None of the three of us are seeing anyone else, so we figure that it’s the same as us being a three-person household, and if any of us showed any symptoms we’d stop. They’re a doctor and a university biologist so I’m trusting their judgement that it’s safe.

    3. I didn’t see this before I posted downthread, sorry! Yes, I’m really struggling. Sweating it out is helping, I’m using the Down Dog Barre app so far.

    4. This will out me but I had a serious illness and had been practicing social distancing measures for six months before this started so I have some experience here. A few thoughts:

      – Can you do video calls (through Zoom, FaceTime, SnapChat, whatever) instead of phone calls? I find that the face-to-face interaction by video makes me feel way less lonely.

      _ I like SnapChat (or similar platforms) better than texting because people can send videos and photos, and then chat about them. So maybe get your friends into a SnapChat group? My friends just send random videos/photos of our daily lives, but it makes me feel much more connected than basic texting because I actually get to see what they are doing.

      – I also second Monday’s idea about in person interaction if there’s somewhere in your town/city that’s not too crowded. When the weather was nice, I used to do “picnics” with a friend or two where we each bring a lunch and blanket to a local park and sit at least six feet apart.

      – I liked having weekly (or daily or whatever) appointments with friends/family scheduled. So, on Saturdays I saw my parents. On Wednesdays I had video lunch with my boss. I found that have the scheduled events gave me something to look forward to and helped me feel less alone (when I was feeling lonely, I could say I’m not lonely! Look at all these social things I have coming up!).

          1. Same – I also think people who have “identified” people on here are often stretching or wrong. Unless you regularly post pretty detailed information about yourself under the same username, I don’t know how you could actually identify someone. So many people really experience similar things, plus I imagine people often change insignificant details (e.g., my two sisters vs. my three sisters, changing location to a similar location) to their post to make it harder to ID them.

          2. So I wrote that, and I originally included more details about my location/type of illness/a few other things for context, and then decided against including those details. And I forgot to delete the part about outing :) But the original details really would have outed me to a few people I know in real life who read this blog.

    5. Yesterday, I walked to a friend’s house and stood on the sidewalk while she stood on her porch, some 15 feet away. It was very restorative. Could you do something like that?

      1. did that with a bunch of neighbors last night. Drink in hand, some brought out chairs. People walking their dogs stopped by.

        1. I have stood on my sidewalk to talk to neighbors across the street standing on theirs. We have done distance driveway HHs – where we draw quandrants that are 10+ feet away from each other and sit and have cocktails and chat. I also FaceTime with friends, play a LOT of ScrabbleGo, do the Vector puzzle on NYT, actual puzzles, text and IG message with people.

          It’s not the same, and I am not going to pretend that it is, but every little bit helps.

          1. I love the vector puzzle. I want them to let me go back and so vector puzzles from previous days

          2. Our state has just mandated you cannot do this. NO social gatherings of any amount outside your immediate household. Includes church, weddings, and other social events. No matter how far apart you sit.

            It’s gonna get rough, y’all.

    6. This is really interesting. I have never been more grateful to live alone than I am right now. I do miss my friends and am doing more video chats and watched a lot of Netflix virtually with a friend over the weekend. I’m also taking live stream pilates classes over zoom, which has been really nice. There are so many virtual engagement options out there!

  30. Hopefully a fun question – can anyone recommend resources on planning garden beds? I can select plants just fine but am unsure how to place them for the most visual appeal. I’ve looked around and saw a few sites including Better Homes & Gardens have some plans, but they leave a little bit to be desired.

    1. i love the rooted garden/gardenary aesthetic (theyre heavy on the marketing so i dont sign up for emails but like looking at their blog) as they have a beautiful raised bed/trellis/pathway aesthetic

    2. I would like to plant my garden. I usually grow from little plants (tomato, cucumber, herbs) but I’m in a shelter in place area and don’t want to go out to try to buy plants. Can I mail order them, and can anyone recommend a reputable place to do so?

    3. Related question: What simple things can my kids do in the garden with minimal knowledge/supervision/skill that will still grow? I’m not looking for anything particular — just an activity for my kids to do outdoors. We are in the mid-Atlantic (outside DC). We have done tomatoes and bell peppers in the past but really have no garden to speak of.

      Links to seeds to plant or seedlings to order from someplace??

      2. Sunflowers were a favorite when I was a kid. Giant varieties and “teddy bear”. They can go straight inti the ground, or sit in dixie cups of dirt in a sunny window.

      3. It is still cold for peppers and tomatoes in the DC area. If you are looking for a place to order those online I would go to Burpees. They sell seeds and plants. There are fancier options, but Burpees is a reliable option.

        If you want a project start the seeds inside. That is more work, but right now it may be what you want.

        For seeds to start outside right now, i was peas and radishes in the next week or so. I think some lettuces may survive also. I’m in the DC area.

  31. I hope this isn’t terribly insensitive, but I’m interested in buying stocks while prices are low and don’t know how. I was in college during the last recession so haven’t been through anything like this as a working professional. Do I add more money to my 401k? Setup a brokerage account? Any advice would be appreciated!

    1. Don’t try to time the markets. It’s always a good time to save. Set up a recurring monthly transfer into your account of choice (retirement, brokerage, whatever) and choose a low-fee index fund.

      1. I already max out my 401k retirement fund each year. I thought it might be beneficial to go ahead and move some of my savings (not all) to that and max it out now, but it sounds like you’re saying that’s not the case?

        1. Nope, it’s been proven time and time again that dollar-cost-averaging > attempting to time the market.

        2. Also holy cow if there were ever a time to have liquid savings, it’s now.

    3. I’d recommend in addition to the advice above that you focus on investing in your tax advantage vehicles first (401k, Roth IRA, etc) and then move onto a brokerage account, since it could take a few years to realize the gains//the market recovering.

      1. Thanks! Would you recommend maxing out my 401k right now or continuing to save monthly into that for the rest of the year?

        1. You should have about 3/4 of room left in your 401k– the issue is if you decide to “fill up” over the next month or so, and then it drops further, will you be disappointed? I’d increase it some, but I wouldn’t rush to max it out. I think the effects of this are going to be pretty longstanding in the market, personally.

        2. If you’re getting a company match, you’ll need to investigate whether you’d be losing out on their portion if you dumped a bunch of cash in at once instead of equally all year long. The way my company works, they match up to 6% of your salary but it happens at each transaction, so I get 6% from them every paycheck when I contribute 6% or more. If I front-loaded to max out early, I’d not get every available dollar from the company match.

    4. I’m in a similar boat. I discussed it with my brother who is a little more familiar and he recommended the app Robinhood (if you post a burner, I can send you a referral code), which is what I’ve started using. It’s pretty simple and no fees. You add money and then buy the stocks you want. I’ve just been buying index funds and you can look up the stock symbols online. You can also do it through retirement but I wanted to start investing outside of my retirement accounts which is why I’m using this. Also, I’m not trying to time the markets. I’m just buying a few hundred every week or so as the market goes low and then plan on not touching the money for a very long time.

    5. We added a lump sum to our Roth IRAs up front (the cut off for the previous year just passed, so we are basically starting from 0). We will still add monthly until we hit the max, but this way our financial advisor has some extra cash to buy while the markets are low now. I keep telling my husband we will never be able to time it at the absolute bottom, but it’s much lower than 3 months ago, so it’s still a gain long term. I wouldn’t play chicken with the markets for too long.

    6. If you’ve covered all your foundation accounts, do it. I can’t imagine a better time to invest in stocks, especially if your work-from-home workload is light. It’s less a question about timing the markets and more about having the extra padding for when the markets do go up–because you know they will. Just be sure to think strategically about which companies you think will come out better on the other side of this mess, if you’re looking for investing in higher-yield options besides funds.

  32. Until things are on a general upswing it’s a waste of money. We don’t know where the bottom of this thing will be.

    1. Wait. But if you’re just investing long term, even if you buy before rock bottom things are (likely) going to go up again. So why would it be a waste of money?

  33. Amy Klobuchar’s husband is hospitalized with Covi-19. He’s not on a ventilator (yet anyway) but it sounds pretty bad.

  34. Any other single ‘rettes who live alone struggling with the fact that they won’t be able to so much as have a hand on their arm until this is over? I’ve never been a particularly huggy person before but when I’m allowed to I’ll be hugging all my friends and family.

    1. Me too, me too. When this ends, I might just end up hugging random people on the street because I’m so strived for touch

      1. I’ve always enjoyed haircuts for the sense of touch but might start booking massages too when this is over.

    2. I was thinking about this today. I am not a big toucher/hugger but I still cuddle my dog/husband/son daily, I honestly don’t know how people are going to manage their mental health long term without physical touch, it’s just SUCH an important part of our shared humanity. No solutions, but I am so sorry that you’re dealing with this.

      1. It means a lot that you’re thinking about it – it’s not something I’m seeing talked about at all, which kind of makes the problem worse.

      2. The one time it was useful to grow up with a family who never affectionately touched each other! I very rarely crave it.

  35. Welp …

    Gov is in isolation after coming into contact with someone

    Brother of Lieutenant Gov just died from Covid complications

    Sen. Amy Kloubuchar’s husband is hospitalized

    And our confirmed outbreak numbers are still relative mild, in comparison …

    1. To be fair, neither of them contracted or spread the virus in MN. The Lt. Gov’s brother was living in Tennessee and Amy Klobuchar’s husband was in DC.

  36. How are you all getting your groceries these days? I’m in a quieter part of a major city and My husband and I bought groceries last week and topped up our pantry. We are avoiding grocery stores, and have a click and collect window for the first time ever, in two weeks(we live in the city and usually buy a few things at our local places several times a week, as we like the walk, so we have never purchased groceries online).
    My mother lives alone, is in her 70s and lives a 12 minute drive away. She has enough for a few weeks, but is running out of bread and a few things. I have bread and other food that I will of course give her. My mother wants to go get more groceries for herself during a seniors time. I’m afraid for her to go, as she is high risk. On the one hand, she hasn’t left the house for almost two weeks, and I think mentally she needs the quick drive and fast shop. On the other hand, I’ve added food for her in our online order, and can share with her, but what if not all the order is fulfilled? She’s afraid for husband and I to go out, we are early 50s (though of course we will if we have to buy food) and we are worried for her. We live in A major west coast city in Canada — the biggest. I’ve tried to order groceries for her online, but all the sites are slow, and delivery windows are weeks away. My husband and I will go in person if needs be, it as things are getting worse, should we buy more now, not just for us or my mother, or wait and see what happens? My mil is about a half hour drive away, and may need help with food too, though bil lives closer to her than us. I suspect shelter in place orders are on their way, so I’m torn between going In store this week, vs waiting it out. We can order dried goods off a- zn, and keep trying for delivery windows. What would you do? Sorry for the novel here.

    1. We’ve been going to the local farm shop and green grocer. It’s open and the owner is taking orders outside and filling boxes so you don’t have to be in a shop / have close contact with anyone. They are very well-stocked and I figure if I can’t get something there, I don’t need to be eating it.

    2. That’s tough. If it were my mother, I’d buy the groceries myself and bring them over to her. And/or order things online now and have them delivered directly. For my family, we’ve been doing regular grocery runs and have enough food for 2 weeks. I honestly think if there were a shelter in place, people would be less likely to go run to the store. At my Costco, there was a line AROUND THE BUILDING of people waiting to get in (right before opening). Easily 100+ people. I think if there were a shelter order, people would reconsider. But we’ll see. There’s plenty of food in the country. It’s just all about distribution and access.

      1. Thanks for the replies. We all have enough for two or three weeks, and there are some smaller local places we can get food— none of the groceries stores are huge and they are letting in a few people at a time. I guess my dilemma is do I buy more now, for all of us, or do we all wait until we need more? Is there a benefit to going now vs in few weeks? I will certainly ensure my mom has enough, but she may just decide to go herself if she panics.

    5. Thanks for the replies. It’s a tough choice— go now in person, or try and deliver them later when we pick up bagged order at store. I’m worried if I don’t bring a few things to my mom she will get impatient and bolt and go out. Just to clarify, she has enough for weeks, but is low on some things like bread, which I have in the freezer and will give her.

    6. Just clarifying, is your mom just worried for you and DH because she loves you, or because you are in a risk group? If it’s the latter, there are mutual aid networks in a lot of cities, healthy people volunteering to bring groceries and run errands for people isolating at home. In my area, the volunteers by far outnumber the requests for help at this time.
      Delivery is a good option in my opinion.

      1. She’s worried because she loves us. Husband has recovered from an accident 10 years ago, and still has pain, but exercises regularly and is continuing his exercise regime from home. I’m ok.

          1. Thank you. Staying at home as much as we can, and walking around neighbourhood or drops offs for parents, stay safe too.

    7. Grocery shopping once a week is literally the only reason I leave the house now, and I’m desperately clinging to it despite being in a higher risk group (pregnancy) until I can’t anymore. I go first thing in the morning when the stores open. I go with a very specific list and am in and out in 20 minutes. No touching products and inspecting produce unless it is going in my cart. I wipe down the cart, hand sanitizer, and dodge people in the aisles. I opt to do self checkout and take as few personal items in the store as possible. Phone stays in the car, paper shopping list that get’s tossed, 1 card + ID. Then when I get home, car get’s wiped down at major touch points, so do keys, phone, cards. Produce we eat raw like an individual tomato gets a vinegar bath (not sure if this helps, but it makes me feel better). Our grocery store hasn’t been super busy the past two weeks with this routine, so I’m going to stick to it. The crazy places like Costco are being outsourced to the husband from now on. We went a weekish ago and it was way too busy to feel safe from germs. Not again.

      1. These are some great tips. If you can wipe down the self-checkout, or touch with a stylus, or even a piece of aluminum foil (tinfoil hat for your fingers!), that’s another big contamination avoided. Cards are better than cash, obviously. DH has embraced contactless payment with his phone, wherever possible. I think some cards also have the contactless option.

        1. Yes thank you for these great tips.p, and stay safe too. We’ve been doing all these as well, except there are less self check outs. We wipe down all the food and Shower our selves when we come home. I dropped off food for my mom today, but I won’t be going grocery shopping for another week, so she is getting impatient, and may just go herself. She is also careful and goes in and out of the store really fast. I’m just worried that She just wants to go out for the sake of going out…if she has to for her mental health, I get it, but I want her to know we will help when with food, but she wants to do things herself too.

      2. Your grocery shopping sounds like how we do ours! I’m glad you are staying safe and sending you warm thoughts now. We are so careful, and wash all the containers and food as well. I will buy mom stuff she needs, but she is an impatient lady, who likes to have lots too, and we are not going for another week…I hope she can wait.

  37. My cat put a hole in the green tshirt I’m wearing today (#WFH problems). Anyone seen a plain brighter green cotton t-shirt lately (that can be ordered online)? I’ve checked lands end, ll bean, uniqlo, gap, and old navy, and they only seem to have army or olive green. I’m looking for more of an emerald green.

    2. Have you considered darning the hole? I know it’s not typical of this crowd, but it’s really a rewarding activity and it saves your shirt!

      1. Or even just putting a dab of nail varnish over the hole, if it’s not somewhere super visible, while you’re WFH anyway.

        1. Fray Check, available at Joanne’s or similar, is made for this, and washes cleanly. Nail polish will change color and texture in the dryer.

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