For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.
Old Navy hasn’t had conservative workwear in a few years now — they used to be a great source for really basic sheath dresses and pencil skirts, but no more.
So I was intrigued to see that they have a TON of matching suit pieces right now.
This crepe pants suit looks great, with (and is getting high ratings) in both the conservative black and navy, as well as the hot pink and mint colorways.
The wide range of sizes, as always, is a big plus — this one is available in regular sizes XS-4X, as well as petite and tall sizes.
The blazer is $64.99, and the matching pants are $54.99 (but with very lucky sizes left in petites and talls). They also have a notched collar blazer to match their Pixie pants.
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These are some of our other favorite brands for affordable women’s suits…
Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Do you keep friends who have very different political views? I like some friends from grad school too much to talk politics with them, but one just took a major role in an organization I really don’t believe in (re “school choice”).
Depends what the beliefs are!
Not if their different view is something like “women aren’t equal humans trusted to make their own choices.”
I have, or had, a friend who votes R because she thinks D spend too much money, and she kept saying I was overreacting because “Roe is established law.”
This is the last laugh I never wanted to have.
Honestly, my last dinner with her was so awful in so many ways I’m really not interested in the friendship anymore. It’s not strictly political but more her views on other people and the world in general seem to be spoon fed to her by Faux News.
I’ve talked about this with my sister at length, and while we aren’t friends with people like that, both of us have had to work with men who have those views. When I have to have interaction with those guys, I am super careful because I feel I cannot trust them at all.
Yes. I can disagree with people and still think they are good people. However, even though I have deeply held beliefs, I don’t usually spend much time talking about politics with friends because I don’t believe you can really change most people’s minds and therefore would only end up with people angry. I would guess that I hold different beliefs than many of my friends on a number of topics.
I lost a friend over this very issue. I have several public school teachers in my family, and I didn’t like her constantly criticizing “all public schools are bad” while promoting her pro-charter school organization. I tried to respectfully engage her, and she was very black and white about “if you disagree with me, then you don’t want the best for children”. I’m always willing to discuss and debate. There are pros and cons, but I didn’t like her approach although we had many other shared interests and values.
It sounds like she is also just really unreasonable! No matter what side of this question someone lands on, obviously some public schools are excellent. That’s part of the equity discussion to begin with.
She would say that high quality, excellent public schools are still bad because greedy teachers unions. You’re right, it’s pretty unreasonable.
Yes absolutely but it depends on what underlies them. For example I’m personally very pro choice but I appreicate abortion is a complicated issue with a lot of feelings invovled, and I think there are some rationales for an opposing opinion that I don’t agree with but aren’t fundamentally “wrong” in my view, and others that are. I’m a POC too so for me it boils down to does your underlying thinking uphold the dignity of other people, and if it does on some baseline level then I’m fairly flexible with what the outcome of that is. That results in my having conservative friends but not rabid racist or sexist ones.
I am similar. Basically, if someone as a shared belief in human dignity, we can be friends even if we have different views on an issue. And even if we have the same position on an issue, we can’t be friends if I feel like you arrived at that position from a disturbing set of first principles. (Like, immigration policy is a pretty good example – I have pretty conservative policy positions on immigration, but I am friends with many people with much more liberal positions on the issue, and I cannot be friends with people who support the same policies I do but whose desire to limit immigration is driven by racism or nativism.)
Also, I do not spend a lot of time talking about politics with most people in my life, and most of my social interactions are in settings that draw from a wide range of people (school, church, my job) so I know that many people that I’m friends with very likely have different views than I do, but it’s never come up.
This is helpful. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with people I align with politically in practical terms but whose values I’m realizing are just really different from mine… and finding myself more in line values wise with people I still wish had different political views, but whose actions and values I’m more okay with.
Yes, and I am always grateful that I do. I think it makes me a better, more compassionate person to take in opposing points of view without the goal of changing the person who is sharing with me. But I have my hard lines, and you can have yours too. This sounds like a perfectly reasonable one to me.
I think most people have a higher tolerance for this sort of thing IRL than the internet would suggest. It’s easy to say in a vacuum, no trumpers!, or whatever. But then your BFF since you were 3 who has always been there for you and is active in many charities that do great work for the community and is a super caring person blah blah blah admits she [voted for trump/has some problematic view like anti-abortion] and you’re like huh?? How can that be? And she gives you some nonsense about taxes or repeats some conspiracy theory that is obviously BS but her preschool teacher’s husband retweeted it and he’s a super smart guy so there must be something to it or you ask more questions and find out she’s actually pro-choice because she thinks you should be able to get an A if you’re super young or have mental health issues or or or but she doesn’t believe in A as birth control and therefore she identifies as pro-life… and so on. All of a sudden that bright line starts to seem a lot more fuzzy.
I view right wing propaganda like an abusive relationship. Eventually she will see it for what it is and when that happens you don’t want her abuser/Fox News to have succeeded in isolating her from people who care about her. Ymmv of course.
I hadn’t thought of the point in your second paragraph before, but it resonates with me. Thank you for sharing it.
I posted at 2:31 above. My situation with my friend is similar on the face of it, but different in key ways, for me. I realize she’s been influenced by right wing propaganda, but it comes out as her thinking some people are less deserving than others (immigrants, poor people, certain races) and I just can’t continue with someone who feels that way. I really don’t think she will see the light some day. She moved to a more conservative area to be in her chosen bubble, and at this point I don’t think she’s any more invested in maintaining her friendship with me than I am with her.
Moreover, pretending it doesn’t matter or ignoring it normalizes those beliefs and the harmful actions that stem from them.
What do you mean, “right wing propaganda”? The ignorance on this board is shocking (and scary). You obviously know nothing about the intellectual foundations of conservatism and libertarianism, dating back hundreds of years.
The world is not “enlightened socialists” on one side with the other being either evil people or people swamped by propaganda. Your inability to acknowledge the legitimacy of opposing points of view – big yikes to that level of ignorance.
Fox News, One America Network, Newsmax – all examples of right wing propaganda. It isn’t unbiased news. It’s opinion presented as facts.
Yeah, sorry. Not about to acknowledge the legitimacy of any of that nonsense.
You’re really telling on yourself by getting defensive. If you truly believed that your views are founded in solid intellectual doctrines then you wouldn’t be threatened by criticism of conspiracy theories and propaganda machines.
I do. I would say that my friends are wildly diverse in their political beliefs, and that makes sense given that my friend group is drawn from a wildly diverse range of communities, experiences, and times in my life. I believe that living in an ideological echo chamber is really, really bad for you, and I think that the healthiest place to encounter ideological diversity is in real life (not online), where you can encounter people as whole individuals instead of just words on a screen. I wouldn’t disown a friend over political choices except in extremely limited circumstances (like, being an apologist for Hitler, slavery, or legalized segregation, for example). Basically, my personal Overton window is quite wide – far wider than the majority population on this page.
This is where I am. My friends tend to be very empathetic people but with a range of policy beliefs. Their beliefs tend to be nuanced, thoughtful, and realistic . The differences are in what they believe works best and how they think doing X would have ripple effects or unintended consequences.
+1 million to this.
I will note that this approach has also led me to change my own views on certain issues and to change the views of my friends. Which I view as a positive. If I’m not changing, im not learning.
+1 million to this. Exactly where I am and I think it’s really unhealthy to live in an echo chamber
My closest friends have core values similar to my own and we discuss these topics regularly. We don’t hold exactly the same views on everything, of course, but we generally agree on the big picture ideas.
I have a number of friendly acquaintances who are all over the place politically and that is fine for me as long as things stay civil. This is a group with whom I do not intentionally discuss politics regularly. We stick to less fraught topics, although sometimes politics creeps in to the conversation. Many of these people have no idea what my views are or think I am in their camp politically because we are friendly with each other. Our relationships may be shallow but because they are longstanding, I find these people are more apt to listen and respect what I say when I do express an opinion they haven’t heard in their personal echo chambers.
I don’t have any desire to associate socially with people who are so diametrically opposed to my values that they think I am subhuman.
Same, and for me many of the friendly acquaintances are people I know through my child or spouses of friends — not people I would naturally discuss politics with. My closest friends and I are generally aligned with me on big issues though we might have minor disagreements or differing viewpoints. I would find it hard to be close friends with someone who worked for an organization that I believed was actively harmful — but on the other hand I would not avoid being friendly acquaintances with someone who worked at a large corporation that I think sucks.
Your comment about people assuming you share their views…I have had that experience so many times on both ends of the political spectrum. There is a very senior leader in my (F50) company that I work with often and she so frequently makes comments that I assume that I share her political views, and that make it clear how negatively she views people who don’t (stuff along the lines of “those lunatics who believe XXX”) that I dread meeting with her. It’s a good reminder if you’re in a management or leadership position to be thoughtful about whether to talk politics in the office or how to do so, because if you’re in a position of power you can create a pretty psychologically unsafe situation for subordinates who disagree with you if you’re not careful.
So much this. I agree politically for the most part with my boss, but the way he speaks about the other side of the aisle makes me crazy, especially for the handful of coworkers I know find themselves there. It’s unbelievably inconsiderate and tone deaf.
Nope. I haven’t cut anyone out because of politics, but all my family members and close friends are on the same side of the political spectrum. There’s certainly different views on how policies should be implemented, but no one I would describe as a friend supported Trump (even in 2016) or is anti-choice. Even growing up in and now living in red states, I’ve mostly been around liberal people due to the city I’m in and my job industry, so it wasn’t like “ew I don’t want to be friends with you because of your politics” it was more just the people I’ve met and connected with have always had similar politics.
I can have friends with different views but I’m an attorney and I don’t love getting into debates or discussions with non-lawyers. That sounds snobbish I know. Fundamentally, I find that the way I have enjoyable productive conversations with people who hold different views is by keeping an open mind and being intellectually honest about the faults and strengths of both positions. It makes it so much easier to understand people’s thinking and it’s usually reassuring. It’s not that non-lawyers aren’t capable of this; it’s just not the way they tend to approach things. In other words, someone who spews cable news talking points in defense of their worldview is difficult to maintain a friendship with whereas someone who can articulate a reasonable viewpoint (even if I don’t agree with it) is pretty easy to maintain a friendship with.
Fwiw I think there are things that reasonable people with good intentions can differ on and the particulars of how to improve public schools is one of them. But I personally hate that my tax dollars fund religious and private schools, even if some of my best friends send their kids to them.
I have friends with different political views who work in policy/politics. However, we share core beliefs of kindness, democracy, and rule of law. We may talk about politics where we share similar goals and have slightly different policy preferences. We don’t talk about stuff where we’ll likely differ.
I have relatives who may be cool with/supporters of things I find abhorrent. I don’t have that many relatives left, so I still talk with them, but we avoid any discussion of politics. I hope it’s helpful for them to see that my family and I are happy and normal, despite having lives that would send a conservative commentator into a tizzy.
One relative who insists that flat out lies are true and wants to tell me about them at length (but isn’t open to questioning of the lies) I no longer call. I can’t change the person’s mind, but I also will not listen to really harmful lies. This person was also horribly rude and greedy at a family funeral, so not a big loss to no longer talk.
In my experience there are two categories of people on the other side of the political spectrum from me: those who share the same basic values (respect and dignity for all humans as individuals) but are in my opinion misguided about the political means through which these goals are best achieved, and those who have different basic values and seek primarily to exert power over others. The first group is much smaller than the second, but I am friends with several people in this category. People in the second category get my politeness but not my friendship.
Honestly, I have a lot of teachers in my family. Most public and one at a private school that actually serves kids with learning disabilities that public schools often serve poorly. The pandemic was poorly dealt with by my city’s public schools, especially for poor and “minority” students (who are the majority of public school students here). The appetite for any viable alternative to bad schools is huge. We let kids use Pell grants for public and private colleges. I don’t see what is so bad about giving poor parents something like public charter schools. There is often a “because” backing people’s beliefs and if you are surprised to learn this, maybe it would help with the relationship of you listen to your friend’s reason for supporting this. It doesn’t seem fringe to me and in my city a lot of kids go to public charters because they can’t afford private school. Should only children of the rich have choices?
Public schools in low income areas are underfunded because schools are paid for primarily with property taxes. In many of these communities, the majority of residents are renters. Absentee landlords have no financial incentive to repair their properties (cutting into their profit), which translates into lower tax assessments, and lower school funding.
The way to fix this structural issue isn’t to send select kids of color (and their school funding, which follows the kid) to public charters. Charters also have the ability to remove a child (due to behavior, socioemotional needs, disabilities, etc) and keep the funding for the entire school year. Public schools then have to reenroll the student for free.
It’s a complicated issue. I’m a WOC from a low income area. My views are informed from having worked at legal aid and seeing my education law colleagues’ practice. Charters just don’t do well with students struggling for any reason. In my city, they have a standard practice of admitting students and removing them by Oct. That means they keep the student funding allocation for Sept.-June despite only enrolling a student for 2 months. The public school gets nothing to educate that student. Public schools are far from perfect, but they don’t have the luxury of choosing their attendees.
I worry the charter school’s ability to remove children who are behaviorally disruptive is part of the appeal… Like it’s a way to reject mainstreaming.
Charters only give the illusion of choice. It is a choice for parents who can provide transportation and have time to voluteer. It is a choice for parents who have children with no emotional issues or behaviorial problems. Google charter schools and segragation because there are white charters and black charters. And they are not equal. Every child deserves a local brick and mortor school where they have access to art, music, PE, languages, a library, recess, school nurses, and good teachers.
I do, but it also really depends on the friend and the issue. In my bluer-than-blue area, it’s something that comes up on both sides of the spectrum, especially in terms of local issues like tent encampments or new construction. Since I come off as a fairly preppy, traditional, middle-aged mom, I feel like I get some real double takes when I actually share my opinions.
To be frank, I often try *not* to have political discussions with friends/acquaintances. This is probably a bit transactional – I want to have a cordial relationship with the local politician who lives down the street, even if I think they are frankly awful at their job. But I also think changing people’s minds doesn’t happen overnight and sometimes the best way to change someone’s mind is to be a kind person that doesn’t back down on their values but also doesn’t drop them for having a different worldview.
I think for some people I actually AM the friend they disagree with, on an issue that’s very personal and deep for people, and in my experience, very few people have wanted to cut me out over it. My guess is it’s mostly two factors : it’s not the first thing anyone learns about me (bc as people have mentioned, why jump into divisive politics at the very get go), so when they do, I’m not some generic “evil x’er”, I’m “Sue, who volunteers with Z, and bought me a beer and listened to me cry about breaking up with an idiot”; and also that I share values with most of my friends, but we disagree in very significant ways about what that looks like (but because we disagree on some baseline starting assumptions; again, not the actual underlying value)
It is a weird position to be in though, to know that people who I genuinely respect, also genuinely think my carefully considered opinions are pretty close to evil.
Question about preschools as I don’t think the mom’s page gets a lot of activity in the afternoons…
My son is turning 2 soon and I’m looking for a preschool program for him in the fall and potentially some sort of hybrid “mommy-and-me” program before then. I mention the hybrid program because he has been home with me, the nanny, or my mom until now, so has not been in daycare but loves hanging out with other kids generally. I’m not super concerned about him going on his own but am curious hybrid programs the preschools have on offer. As for the Fall 2yo programs, they all offer different schedules from half-days to full-days and twice a week to M-F so I’m sure we will find a good fit in the fall.
As for the 2-yr-old program in the fall, there are four local preschools to us, all highly rated. I don’t know how to choose between them! For you experienced moms, is there something you wish you knew ahead of time? Or something that you wish were different about the program? What kinds of questions should I be asking? The only big one I can immediately think of is potty training and none of the programs require it for the 2yo program and there is a possibility he will be potty trained by the fall anyway. Three of them are religious and we don’t mind that (Catholic, Christian non-denominational, and a United Methodist). One is a pure Montesorri school, which is nice but not a need-to-have for us.
Where I live that choice would be made for you, if you were lucky, by which one that had an available spot.
This! Are you sure taht all 4 have spots available? In my area, many would be filled and others have January due dates for applications.
Eh generally getting a 2 year old into preschool is a lot easier than getting an infant into daycare. In my area, the waiting lists for infant care are all a year+ (even at the crappy places) but lots of preschools have openings.
I don’t think a “mommy and me” program is necessary. The preschool employees all know their role is getting littles acclimated to a place outside the home. That is the whole purpose. (If you want a hybrid because you would enjoy it, then ignore what I just said I do one).
Visit the preschools and see how they feel. If you like the facility and the staff of multiple options with a spot open, then pick the most convenient one to your house.
Something important to me is the rate of teacher and administration turnover. Put another way, how long have the teachers been at that school. I think you can tell a lot by their staff retention rate. I’ve had kids in two separate preschools and while they were both fine in the long run, the one that had a lot of turnover was a little stressful for me. (I don’t know that my kids cared as much.) But the one that had teachers and directors who had been there for 5-10 + years – that says to me that the school is doing something right. It’s not to say that schools where teachers don’t stay around are necessarily bad – I mean it’s kind of a really undervalued job anyway – it’s just that it makes me wonder why teachers don’t stay.
Also – what is most convenient for you? I felt like picking a pre-school was such a big decision, but really at that age, unless a child has a special needs, the biggest factor for me was proximity and ease for the rest of the family.
For little kids, outside time was important to me. I’m in a large city, and the first place my kid went to was downtown in a skyscraper. For obvious reasons, kids never were outside. After a few months we made it off the wait list for a place next to a park, which was perfect. They were outside typically 2x/day for a full day preschool, more in the summer.
Other thoughts: do you want to stay there until kindergarten, and can you (makes life easier if you have more than one kid if they’re at the same place for at least a year or two), do they bring in food or do you have to provide it, do you see the teachers on the floor interacting when you visit? Turnover is hard to judge. I had times (I have 2 kids) when there was no turnover for a year and others where I lost track of the teacher names—but the director stayed the same, so the consistency of care stayed the same.
Teacher turnover is key and outdoor time. We wanted daily nature walks and outdoor time at least twice a day.
The daycare at my work isn’t the greatest/newest building but they have a dedicated director and some of the same staff to this day as when my daughter attends 8 years ago. This is in an place where childcare is very much in demand so they could easily get jobs elsewhere.
I’m experienced with preschool. We do have a mommy and me program in my city but when it was time for my older child to start preschool, it didn’t have any openings. I also knew from others that it was absolutely rife with in-fighting. I wouldn’t have been the “mommy and me” parent anyway, it would have been my SAHD husband.
My daughter started a regular preschool when she was around 3 for socialization. Since we had a SAH parent, we started her at 3 mornings per week. She had a hard time making friends and it was difficult at drop-off for longer than it should have been. One of her teachers told us that she was having a hard time breaking into the girl clique because she was a part-time kid, whereas the full time kids saw each other every day, all day. I had never considered that! So once our younger child was old enough to start, he started full time and we moved our daughter to full time as well.
Our daughter was actually much happier once she was a full time kid, and she integrated right into the girlfriend group. Our son had much less trouble with transitioning to preschool as well.
We have no regrets. It was a great experience all around. Actually, my only negative experience was with another parent!
Thanks for writing this. This full time working mom was pretty crushed at the thought that other working moms somehow have time for “mommy and me.” Fwiw my kids are and were extremely happy with their full time daycare even if my relatives are super judgmental about the amount of time they spend there.
I know that feeling all too well. My kids are almost grown now (college) and have no complaints about me having been a working mom, particularly a working mom who traveled a lot, which was my main source of guilt.
I don’t get “mommy and me” preschool. The whole point of preschool is to learn to interact with peers and that’s best accomplished without parents around.
I work less than 9-5 and spend a lot of time with my kids. I enjoyed the mommy and me weekend classes when they were toddlers. I still think full time (or close to it) daycare was the right choice for them, and I’m glad we could afford it.
For us, finding one that offered full day and summer coverage was a high priority.
A few things. Yes, make sure all have spots. Also, find out what their program is for new students. I went thru this pre-Covid so not sure what is reasonable now but we had a slow intro period where basically I went to the class with my kid for a week and slowly left them there alone and for progressively longer period of time.
Commute matters. Our first school was 1 block away and it was so much easier than the school that was a 10 min walk. I could run out in pajamas and a coat in the morning and then run home to finish getting ready -it was amazing. Similarly, a place that is convenient to/from work is a big plus.
Lunch. Do you have to pack or do they serve?
Teachers. What’s the ratio? How long have they been there? Can you meet them? Teachers make a huge difference. We had the best teacher at one of our schools and she was magical. That same school – we had another teacher at the same place when we joined (right before shut down) and she was underwhelming at best.
Seems like something you shouldn’t have to ask but what is their screen time policy?
What’s the nap situation? Where/how/how often.
What is the shoe policy? Most places seem to be fine with outdoor shoes in the classroom but I find it gross and really appreciated the places that had kids switch to indoor shoes.
Days/hours. Are they open in the summer? Do they have a lot of school breaks/closures? What are the hours? I was really surprised by how many places had pick up at 12 or 3, which hardly seems workable for parents working full time. Even a place that closes at 6 vs. 530 or has an earlier drop off can make a difference, all else being equal.
What kind of communication will you have with the teachers? This varies so much! We’ve had everything from daily reports to weekly, pictures daily or not at all, etc.
Do they have any”special” activities?
And agree on the outdoor time, and also on outdoor space. We really valued a school that had its own playground because it felt safer, for example.
Factors I considered were, in no particular order, (1) hours (may not be your main issue but we needed daycare hours), (2) teacher longevity (3) educational approach – prefer strongly play based (ended up at two “Reggio-Emilia inspired” schools but i don’t care about the name, just care about overall non academic approach- I did NOT like the French immersion place I toured that was drilling preK on phonics loudly during my visit), (4) religion – ended up wanting a Jewish preschool (5) outside time- preferring every day regardless of weather – at one preschool it was usually 1 hour sometimes including time on the woods, and current is 2-4 hours depending in how nuts the class is that day but no woods. (6) cost obviously.
Anon for this
Checking in — I’m the Anon who was honest with their boss a couple weeks ago that they weren’t happy. Just had a great conversation about options with next steps that makes it much less likely I’ll need to leave to find growth / contribute enough. PHEW and kudos to my boss for making it safe to tell them the truth.
Good for you and good for your boss!
I love a positive update.
Excellent! I do think you should post about the exact words you used rather than “I’m not happy” lest another reader thinks that’s a great way to approach their boss. I know we clarified this when you originally posted.
Anon for this
Yeah, it was more like “I have to admit I’ve been thinking about this, and I’m concerned that this role as currently written won’t allow me to contribute as much as I’d like to this year” or some other similar framing. I can’t remember the exact words I used.
Has anyone tried Kizik shoes? They’re following me online.
Ooo the slip on ones? I’m interested to know whether they truly are slip on as advertised. I really need a pair of shoes that I can slip on to run to the mailbox without having to put down the 30 things I somehow always have in my hands. D@mn you, pocketless pants!
I got a pair for my dad (he broke his wrist) and was surprised by how much they look like real shoes. The slip on feature also actually works. I’m tempted to get a pair for myself now…
Yes, my dad gave me a pair for Christmas while I was pregnant, and it was by far the best gift of the season! Highly recommend – easy to slip on/off hands free and very comfortable. He’s since given my grandparents pairs, and they are also big fans.
I have a pair of the Limas in Tidepool and I really like them. They do in fact slip on and off without ever having to be tied and untied. Which is amazing. I think they look cute with jeans or athleisure and they are sturdy enough as walking shoes.
While the new double knit line of suits at Ann Taylor is well made, I miss the tropical wool. I live in Florida and really need more lightweight blazers! I am just a wee too bit big for the JCrew Park Blazers though.
I so miss the availability of tropical wool clothing, including the AT suiting.
I wore tropical wool almost year around (some wool flannel in what we in CA call winter) from the beginning of my career in 1987 until the early to mid 2000s, and haven’t ever found it again. Here and there, but not enough to wear it all the time. RIP tropical wool. You were loved.
Brooks Brothers has tropical wool.
Have you looked at J.Crew Willa? Fellow Floridian, just ordered that suit on Capitol Hill Style’s recommendation. A wool blend and lightweight.
I have several with tags on them on posh and can’t sell them
How do you get an adult family member (not a child) out of your house when you’ve made a mistake and let them come stay, but that stay has turned out to be indefinite with no end in sight?
We need more details. Is this a vacation that just didn’t end? How long have they been there? Do they have a home to go back to, and if so, how far away is it? Are they financially self-sufficient and physically capable or is this an elderly grandparent with dementia?
You have to give them a date. “I need you to find another living arrangement as soon as possible. The deadline is March 1.”
It’s tough but they probably know it’s coming anyway.
I’d also like to add that once you’ve resolved this situation, never let them backslide. They can’t visit even overnight anymore. BEEN THERE
Use your words? Relative, I’m glad you’ve been able to visit! What are your plans for returning home? I really need the space back, so I wanted to let you know that the last day I’ll be able to host you is DATE.
This is a statement, not a negotiation. If they have serious issues (nowhere else to go, mental health needs, etc.) I would help connect them with a social worker or counselor.
If there are any relatives who chose to snipe at you take it at face value – ‘I’m glad I was able to help out cousin Sarah but I needed my space back. It’s wonderful that you’re concerned about her, should I put her in touch with you to make arrangements to visit your home?’
I disagree, using your words is overrated. Interpretive dance is where it’s at.
the interpretive “will you move out already” dance would be quite entertaining, i believe.
Oh definitely! Sweeping arm movements and some high kicks.
I’m imagining just the Will Smith dramatic sidestretched arms at the open door. Increasingly, and with feeling!
counterpoint: interpretative dance is open to willful misinterpretation.
but for the determined, the words “you need to leave” are too.
I’m guessing “need my space back” hasn’t worked yet because you’re not getting any respect as a family member. Can a friend “need” to come visit so you have a deadline that involves a third party?
Yep, this is great. Family member or friend has planned a trip and you need the guest room by ___ date for them!
Equally, is there a way to make it uncomfortable for them to stay? Offer to host a friend of the opposite gender or one who has a newborn baby or lots of dogs? Or keep the fridge and pantry completely empty so that they feel miffed that you aren’t treating them to breakfast everyday?
You give them a firm leave-by date and you find out what your legal options are just in case they are the type of people to try and see if you are bluffing.
Use your words. be very very clear. Give them a date that is realistic given their situation (eg. not end of week if you know they have nowhere to go! Give them a couple weeks if they’ve been with you for months!).
I honestly don’t know. I was sorely tempted to call the police on my FIL over thanksgiving but I doubt they actually would have removed him. He was refusing to leave after we had asked and then ordered him to, but we had invited him initially and I feel like the police won’t intervene in domestic disputes unless they get physical, which this thankfully was not. He’s never coming back here because I don’t ever again want to be in the situation of having an unwanted person that I can’t remove from my own home. Even without physical violence it was scary and really shook me.
If they’ve been living with you long enough to be a tenant under your jurisdiction’s laws then be sure to give them written notice to vacate in case you have to go through formal eviction proceedings.
My brother had to do this with his (now ex-) wife’s brother. They had a vacation home/investment property at a beach. BIL lost his job in late fall when no one was using the house so they were like yeah sure you can stay there until we rent it out for the summer. March comes around, he’s still there. They filed to evict in April, they had rental contracts starting in May. It ended up taking them almost 2 years to get him out, tens of thousands in legal bills not to mention lost rent and having to refund people their bookings. And of course they were still responsible for maintenance during that time. Complete cluster.
Tell them someone else is coming to stay and they have to go.
I have a slow afternoon leading up to an evening work event where I need to be on and am struggling to stay awake. Anyone care for round of controversial strong opinions? I’ll start.
You can trim a hangnail in your open-plan cubicle but a full manicure’s worth of clipping is verboten. Says me, who is convinced the guy across the way must have inch-long claws he is removing one squeeze at a time.
Give in and find a quiet dark room for a short nap.
A full nail trim in the office is gross, and I’ve only ever experienced it with male coworkers.
Go for a walk and treat yourself to a mocha. That’s what I would do.
+1. A walk and a mocha sounds heavenly – I’ll have to settle for a lap around the office and a Coke from the fridge since outside is covered in ice!
Should I fake outrage at my crappy bonus and raise? My coworker who joined the same time as me is fuming and I just… knew this was coming. I’ve been working for a decade now (this is my third company) and every year at every job management acts like everything is exceeding plan until January and then *thing happens* and comp is affected. I feel obligated to act upset because my coworker is being SO dramatic and I don’t want my boss to think I don’t care about the money and short change me next year, but it also feels dumb to have expected anything else? FWIW I’ve been friends with this coworker for years and am very confident he’s not in financial distress.
Probably depends on your industry, but given how many people are getting laid off or getting salaries frozen right now, I don’t think this is the right time to make a fuss about a smaller than expected raise. I’d try to politely disengage with the coworker who’s ranting, unless this person has authority over you. If that’s the case just nod and smile and “mm-hmm”
Nah, you don’t need to fake outrage.
You lost me at “he.” Men always think they deserve more than they get. We are approaching (in?) a recession, you’re both lucky you got a bonus at all.
Wait…you feel obligated to act upset because you don’t want your boss to “short change you” next year? Good gravy, we’re in a recession, no you should not fake outrage, you should be thankful for what you got and tell your friend to suck it up and quit whining.
where is everyone today? wrong answers only.
i think there’s an amazing sample sale of Armani suiting that everyone but me got invited to. All blazers $50.
in Hawaii on a warm beach and definitely not reconciling a years-old spreadsheet error
WFH Office Tech
I’ll post tomorrow AM for more eyes, but I am starting a regular hybrid schedule and need to set up a functional WFH space. I have a desk and desk chair already…but that’s about it. I have a Surface with a single USB port and no HDMI port, so I am assuming I will need one of those multi port devices for an external monitor and whatever else needs to be plugged in.
What else do I need? I’m assuming external monitor or two, a real keyboard…I would like to keep things as streamlined as possible because this is NOT my forte whatsoever and I would really like to just plug and play. Help??
Get a docking station (Plugable sells small ones) – you’ll need one to accommodate two monitors, keyboard, mouse, and external webcam. Then when you sit down, you just have two cords – that one and your power cord.
I set my office up with a laptop stand so that my laptop is the right height for zoom/teams as well as to be at an ergonomic height when sitting at my desk. I also bought an external monitor, so I have laptop screen as screen 1, and external monitor as screen 2. You absolutely need this if you’re WFH often, especially if you need to share your screen often on calls. (it’s so much easier to just say Share Screen 2).
I have external keyboards and a mouse. I much prefer them to my laptop built-ins, and anyway, my laptop is up on a stand as described above. Mine are both wireless. The mouse is rechargeable. The monitor takes batteries. Both take up a USB port with their wireless dongles, so another justification for your external USB port strip. Make sure you have a USB-C port or two on there as well, as things seem to be moving in that direction.
I had a chair that matched my desk and I finally had to face facts that I needed an office chair. I bought mine second hand from an office supply warehouse, and chose it by sitting in lots of chairs.
If you’re connected to a company network you probably don’t need a backup drive, but they’re cheap and will save anything stored on your computer. I got a 2TB one fairly cheaply and use the option in Windows to do a daily smart backup (only backs up changed documents)
You need good internet mostly, make sure you have the best you can get in your area, and if you’re far from the main router, make sure you have a good mesh network or booster to get good signal.
You’ll need a power strip for all of this, get one with a surge protector.
I also have external speakers, which I really like because I had a hard time hearing zoom/teams participants from my tinny laptop speaker.
I have an all-in-one printer scanner copier thingy from HP that has been reliable for me, and I am on the HP instant ink and instant paper plans so I can forget about keeping up with those. (They send ink refills and paper based on usage, which they monitor through my app).
I have a cheap little stand for my iphone to make taking calls on speaker easier.
In terms of office supplies and storage, I don’t need much but I do have some accordion folders and a couple of file boxes since I don’t have much drawer storage and I don’t really want a file cabinet in my space. I hold onto things I have printed and made notes on until projects are complete – sometimes I really do need to print things to thoroughly check them.
My most cherished home office purchase recently has been a space heater! My cat agrees.
Check out this thread:
An all-in-one printer
An external Bluetooth mouse with a good functional mousepad (I like leather or the ergonomic ones with a wrist pad)
The second may be an unpopular suggestion, but if you are doing anything with Excel or forms or data entry in any fashion (e.g., timekeeping, invoicing, whatever), an external mouse is so much more functional.
Holy frillyheck but fatigue is hitting me like a ton of bricks. Having to log sick time yesterday and today afternoon to just crash and sleep. Post chemo, this just happens sometimes, but this is NOT A CONVENIENT WEEK, body.
(any suggestions? water and a lot of protein?)
Hope you can snatch mini rests but also try Vitamin B12 sublinguals.
Glad to see frillyheck used again!
good idea. thanks!
Are boxy blazers like the one in this post on trend now? Looks off to my eye but maybe I need to adjust.
Yes they’ve been trending for a while.
+1 Not a new trend, unfortunately for me.
Flattering on no one.
It reminds me of when you find a cool jacket at an opshop but it doesn’t fit quite right although you try to make it work.