Coffee Break: Kristina Satchel

86 Comments

1. Ugh, I get so many random requests for linkedin, and I’m kind of sick of it.

   These aren’t people I work with, these aren’t people I’ve met at events, or even friends of friends.

   I can get over recruiters trying to link with me, even though I haven’t met them, I understand it’s part of their job. Same with financial advisors.

   However, I get a lot of requests from people who aren’t in my field (law), but who would probably like to work for the company I work for, or from paralegals/assistants who I’m assuming have applied for jobs? Are these all spam accounts? I just ignore them, but it’s irritating.

   1. You should be able to make it so only people in your network or “first circle” can add you. Your privacy settings are probably too open.

   2. I get tons of invitations from job seekers (I’m not in HR) or prospecting suppliers that flood me with mass emails about their ground breaking products. It does get annoying.

   3. Just ignore them. I may be in the minority here, but I only use linkedin for people I actually know and want to keep up with through job changes etc. My litmus test is “if this person asked me to pass on their resume to one of my connections, would I do it?”

      1. This. I just ignore invites from people I don’t know. Except recruiters.

   4. Late to the game, but I often get endorsements for things that aren’t things I do or skills I have. I’m a corporate lawyer, and people sometimes randomly endorsement for things like criminal law or evidence or arbitration. Luckily it gives you the option to accept or reject the endorsements, so I reject them, but it’s still weird. They certainly aren’t skills I list on my profile.

2. All I have to say is that 2 weeks notice seems excessive right now. 3.5 days of BigLaw left. I cannot wait.

   1. If you don’t mind sharing, where are you headed?

      1. In-house. And I am thrilled.

         1. congrats!!

3. I know there’s a lot of debate over what’s appropriate in offices, but I have found the best solution to earbuds. Sometimes I keep one in and one out, so that I can hear what’s going on, but when I need to have complete focus, I wanted better buds.

   I took the foam ends off of a pair of pretty cheap earbuds, and then stuck them into a pair of in-process-curing custom-molded earplugs. You know, the kind you knead together to make permanent silicone earplugs. So, I have a super-secure fit with the plug, and just inserted the buds into the still-soft compound. Then, once they were cured, I carved off the end that still covered the earbud outlet.

   Perfect fit, great noise-reduction. Probably won’t budge in a workout too!

   1. I wear huge headphones so people have warning that I can’t hear them.

      1. Love this. I don’t do it at work, but in college/law school I would put them on just so people wouldn’t walk up to me and talk to me when I was studying. Worked like a charm.

      2. Ya that seems inappropriate. I think the only way you can really get away with headphones in the office is a one earbud in type thing so you can take them out if you see someone coming or hear what they’re saying to you

         1. I’ve never understood why headphones in an office are unacceptable. I guess I get it if you’re working in an environment where people are constantly needing to talk to you, but I don’t get why wearing headphones in my office is wrong when I’m working by myself in here. A lot of people have said you shouldn’t wear headphones/earbuds, even people in my firm, so I guess it’s Not Okay. But why?

         2. I think that this is totally know your office. People in my office HATE the wearing of earphones – people think it’s highly, highly unprofessional, but in my old office, nobody cared. (Both Biglaw, FWIW.)

            1. Yup. I know my office.

4. Great bag- three zip compartments, great size, love the top handle and shoulder strap options, not huge but not too small. Hard to find!

5. I am vacationing in Florida and have access to Dillard’s for probably the first time. Wondering whether people recommend Antonio Melani dresses, etc for workwear.

   1. These are by the same manufacturer as some of the Tahari dresses, I recall – maybe the ASL line? If that’s the case, I love my ASL dresses.

   2. I don’t own any dresses but the tops I have are fairly good quality and I get a lot of compliments on them.

   3. Yes! I think they’re very good quality for the price point. They have some good basic shoes that are not expensive, too.

6. How many of you pick your own stocks and personally manage your own portfolios? If you do, how old are you, what % of your portfolio do you keep in stocks, and what’s your average annual return?

   1. No advice, but curious to hear the responses.

   2. I don’t, but I really want to!

      1. It’s really not that hard to learn, you should do it!!

   3. I’m in law, but my background is in finance. I’d be comfortable picking my own stocks, but I wouldn’t invest in individual stocks unless I had $1m+ to invest. I just don’t think you can get proper asset allocation without incurring prohibitive transaction costs otherwise. I don’t have $1M to invest, so I stick with mutual funds for now. I have pretty low risk tolerance, though, so YMMV.

      1. I’m in law, and most of my money is in mutual funds. Every now and then, I’ll pick a stock and buy around $2K worth of shares. If I lose the entire $2K for any particular stock (or even all of them, since I don’t have that many and purchases are spread out), the world will go on, but I enjoy seeing which ones go up, which ones dip, and how good I am at predicting trends.

         1. And, like many others have said, this is for fun/a hobby. It’s not a retirement plan/savings plan.

   4. My husband and I do this. He likes to pick individual stocks and, while I know it’s not the best idea in terms of diversification, it motivates him to invest. His returns have been phenomenal over the last 5 years (but I think that’s the case for many in that time frame) – maybe 75% increase in 5 years? This year it is closer to 8-10%. I just put another chunk into a Vanguard mutual fund. We have about 60/40 cash/investment (excluding retirement) now but that will continue to skew toward investments the more we save. We are by no means experts at this but so far everything has worked out well and we’ve had fun saving money, which is a nice bonus.

   5. I don’t. I haven’t seen much evidence that anyone other than a very few individuals will outperform the market, and so it’s low-cost index funds for me.

      1. I’m in finance, and I agree. I use index funds. I don’t think individuals can beat out the supercomputers, at least in the long term.

         1. I am not in finance, but old enough to see how things have changed since I started dabbling 30 years ago. You can’t beat the supercomputers, unless you’re very lucky. And the odds of that happening on a regular basis are as slim as that pony growing up to be a unicorn. That said, it’s not hard to manage a diversified portfolio of mutuals, bonds & CDs, and fun to learn.. You’ll never read the business page the same way! But… you have to remember that what goes up will go down. Stick with it for the long haul. And past performance is…

      2. Yes, I believe basically all studies of this issue have shown that over time low-fee index funds will outperform individual stock-pickers.

         1. Yup. Read the Bogleheads Guide to Investing (fantastic book). I only invest in index funds. I have about $150K invested, roughly 70/30 stocks/bonds (I’m early 30’s). Some is in retirement accounts and some is in a taxable account, but it’s entirely index funds (mostly Vanguard — it would be all in Vanguard (lowest fees BY FAR) but my 401K doesn’t have many Vanguard options). In the long run you will not beat the market by picking stocks, and will likely end up worse off than the market. Index funds are the way to go if you actually want to make the most money off your investments in the long term.

            I see picking stocks as entertainment that you need to be willing to pay for — like going to a casino to gamble. Unless you’re a card-counter, you’re not going to beat the house. If that’s fun for you, do it, but understand that in the long run you’re spending money for that fun feeling. Obviously you could get lucky — just like someone has to win the slot machine big payout and someone has to win the lottery — but chances are it won’t be you (unless you’re insider trading). If/when I have a LOT LOT LOT more $$ someday I may take some “play money” and pick individual stocks for fun, but right now, it’s just not worth it for me. YMMV if it’s a real thrill for you.

            (Also BTW you should only invest if you already have an emergency fund and no high interest debt.)

      3. Yep, my husband and I are of the same view. Biglaw attorneys FWIW. We use a couple of Vanguard funds, and we are pretty happy with how we’ve been doing. Plus, we don’t have to waste time and energy picking stocks and bonds and then remembering to buy / sell / diversify etc.

   6. I’m in an investment club to pick stocks for fun. I keep our 401k and the kids’ college saving in index funds, though.

   7. I have a finance background. I don’t believe in active investing, on the whole, but I have a pot of fun money (about $15K) that I keep in individual stocks. I buy when I feel like it. It doesn’t affect my overall asset allocation much because my exposure is 100% equities (I’m mid-thirties) invested broadly in index funds.

      I keep most of my money at Schwab because I love their customer service. Although there are some good mutual fund managers, the difference in fees over time is just not something that justifies backward-looking talent (in my mind).

      I generally keep up with the markets and investing. I read Barron’s and the WSJ and I defiinitely go to the local library and check out Value Line and look for companies with high free cash flow if I am looking for new stock picks.

      This is a hobby, not a retirement plan, to be clear. Active management is very tricky, even for pros, and individual stock picking by people who don’t follow sectors extremely closely is just throwing darts.

   8. I don’t manage my own portfolio but it’s all in funds.

7. Someone just came into my office who is “just over a cold,” sat next to my coatrack and then proceeded to cough all over my scarf and my bag. I’m not a germaphobe normally but am I wrong to be really skeeved out? It’s really cold but should I not wear the scarf home? What is wrong with people???

   1. No, I agree, that’s really gross. I wouldn’t wear the scarf home — and I’m not a total germaphobe either.

      1. Me either. I keep clorox wipes at my desk, but you may not want to use them on your purse, and I don’t think they’d be sufficient to sanitize that scarf.

      2. Gross AND super rude. Ugh.

   2. Yay! Coffee Break! I love this satchel also and Rosa can go to Nordstrom’s Rack in White Plain’s if she can get there to buy this for me! I want her to look at it b/c sometime’s the good’s are NOT as nice as the picture’s are. FOOEY!

      As for the OP, I agree with you. I hate it when peeople sneeze on me, or worse yet, sneeze into their hand’s and then rub my coat on the back, leaving their schmutz on my coat. There was a guy who did this at the deli this weekend, and he blew his nose RIGHT into his hand, then rubbed it off on his pant’s! GROSS! He sat down
      at the booth behind me so there was sureley alot of snot all over the bench for the next guy to slide into. FOOEY!

      Then Frank does NOT even wash his hand’s when he comes out of the toilet, so I know NEVER to accept food or cake from him b/c there is alot worse then schmutz on his hand’s. I do NOT want to get sick eateing stuff that is covered with what his HAND’s have touched. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      Myrna’s brother keep’s telling Myrna that I am good to be his girlfreind. Don’t I have a vote in this? Has Myrna sold me down the pike to her brother? I know he make’s alot of money, but I realy can NOT fathom him haveing sex on top of me every night. The thought of him huffeing and puffeing is actueally worse then my Alan, b/c Alan at least had SOME PERSONALTY. Myrna’s brother, god bless him, is just a breather, not a thinker like me. I need a smart guy I can CONVERSE with, not just have him stareing at me all day. FOOEY!

   3. They might have Lysol or some other type of sanitizing spray in the bathroom or kitchen. I might use it on a scarf or bag, depending on the material.

8. anyone use an app or podcast for guided work outs? I am looking for a cycling workout to use when I can get to the gym, but can’t make a spinning class.

   1. Popsugar has some good ones. I don’t know about cycling, but they do have elliptical and other standard gym equipment workouts.

   2. I follow Youtube videos. Just search for cycling workouts.

   3. Not the same thing — but for folks who like this sort of thing, I just wanted to make a plug for the Zombie 5k app. The App takes you through a story where you have different “run” sessions while you complete missions to search out supplies and, you know, run from zombies. It sounds totally dorky but the action adventure part of it actually has made my time on the treadmill a lot more fun.

   4. Peloton is a great app with tons of on demand cycling classes

9. I just started a job that I expect to be a temporary/stopgap measure until I find a better one. I have a 4-day commitment for another potential job scheduled for about a month from now- it’s in the same town where I live and work. Only one of those days is a full day commitment, the other 3 days are more or less half days. I can make up the hours/work, but people will definitely notice that I’m not in the office during those hours, so I should have some excuse. The trouble is anything I can think of may work for one day, maybe two, but not four. I also won’t have any leave at that point, so I won’t be able to just say I have some other family business or whatever and take the 4 days entirely off. It’s probably unwise to tell my current employer that I’m actively searching for other jobs when I just started working here. What do I tell them to explain my absence?

   1. This is one-time thing for four days, right? I mean, it would have been better to tell your current employer before you accepted the offer that you had a commitment four weeks after starting, but all you can do now is forge ahead. Can you imply that this was something you agreed to do months ago, and it was just scheduled for four weeks from now? I understand that you don’t want to say much about it, but try to make it sound as if you agreed during your job search and before you knew you’d already have started your new job.

      1. I took the current job before I knew about the commitment. I’m perfectly happy to say something about it if that’s better, but is it really? I am willing to say/do whatever is least problematic here. Should I make it out to be a personal thing? Like, sick parent that I’m caring for half of the day, or something? That was DH’s suggestion, but I’d rather not outright lie unless I absolutely have to.

   2. If you had to sign any kind of non-compete, NDA or IP terms as part of your employment contract you might be in violation if your employer ever found out. Depending on the terms and the circumstances, it may even give your employer rights to any IP created by you while working for Job B. It may not be at all relevant to your job/industry/location, but you want to be sure because you never know who might find out about job B.

      1. I didn’t sign such a thing/ this isn’t relevant to my industry, but thanks for the heads up.

   3. What? If you have no leave why would any part of this work? You’re not entitled to just not show up because you’re working a different job.

      Don’t tell your current employer anything and cancel on the other one.

      1. agree. Its really not feasable to do two jobs at once. I think lying will back fire tremendously.

      2. This. It just doesn’t seem worth it.

         1. One of them is a career track job and the other isn’t.

            1. So? If you have no leave, and don’t show up, you realize that’s how people get fired right? A legit career track job won’t put you in that position.

            2. No, it’s not like I have to be there during those hours. I can come in after my appointments. That’s totally cool with my employer, and people do it all the time. Just that they’d probably ask. Saying “Oh I’m going to be working weird hours this week because X” is different than “I’m going to be working weird hours this week.” No one’s talking about not showing up or not doing the work.

               Also, we’re not talking about leaving to do a different job; it’s the equivalent of leaving for an interview, except the time commitment is longer and spread over several days.

            3. Oh okay. Then you’ll be arriving at xyz time because of a minor procedure.

               But one full day and three half days doesn’t sound to me like you’re just coming in late.

            4. As you point out, giving a reason is different, but is it technically required? I imagine there are things you could need to miss work for that you wouldn’t be entirely comfortable discussing with your boss. I think your only option might be to try to just say you’ll be out for a bit, something came up and you don’t really want to get into the reason. Sometimes if you own something it’s shocking what people will just take for face value without questioning. Or, they will insist on having a reason and you’re back to square one.

         2. Yeah, I mean I’d be coming in late and working late. And for the full day I miss, I’d come in over the weekend or something. The problem is with the “minor procedure” excuse or any other one I can think of, it works for one day, maybe two. The spread out nature of the commitment and the fact that it’s not just one normal interview-length absence makes it hard for me to excuse my absence in those hours gracefully.

            1. It’s going to be awkward any way you slice it. Minor procedure with follow up visits seems best. Dying to know what kinda crazy job this is.

            2. if you really don’t want to be there long, then don’t worry about what they think of you. Just do the super vague/no opening for questions thing, and let them wonder. I know it feels super awkward when you haven’t done it before, but it’s really fine.

               “I will be working odd hours this week because of a previous commitment. I’ll be back to a regular schedule on X date.” full stop. end of paragraph. people will find it way more awkward to ask you why if you don’t open the door. and by the day after you come back, probably no one will even remember this happened.

            3. Yes, this. (Now that we have more details about your situation.) “Previous commitment,” no details, repeat as necessary.

               I always think it’s much better to be evasive/mysterious than to be a big ol’ liar.

   4. So you’d be essentially getting paid by company A to do work for company B for 4 days? Or be getting paid by both? I really can’t think of anything that makes this ok or an ok way to ask for it- I think the reason you may be struggling with it is because its kind of a grey area ethically.

      1. No, none of the above. It’s not a grey area ethically; it’s leaving one’s normal job to go to an interview for another, except that the time requirement and spacing makes it hard to make a credible excuse the way it would if it were just a day. No one’s getting paid by two companies.

   5. Do you work in a place where ‘Pre-existing commitment scheduled for x, y, and z’ works?

      Without knowing more details about what you’re doing, it’s hard to say, but would one of these general vague descriptors work?

      – Helping out a colleague.
      – Doing a volunteer thing I really can’t get out of.
      – Have an educational training that I already signed up for and can’t get out of.
      – Professional development thing that I’m already committed to.

      Also, with regard to ‘take part of the day or the whole day’, it’s a know your office and situation thing.

      1. Nevermind. I see that this stopgap job is not a temp position, just temp to you.

10. ob/gyn recs for DC area? Couldn’t find any earlier threads on this. Also, for having a baby, does it matter to people how far away the hospital is from your home?

    1. It mattered to me and my family when I had complications and spent a long time in the hospital after the baby was born. It really sucked for my husband driving back and forth. I liked the hospital, though. (Shady Grove) In fact, I decided I wanted to use that hospital and then picked my midwife practice in part because that’s where they deliver, so you might want to consider that.

       1. I like Reiter Hill Johnson & Nevin. They’ve got multiple offices and are a large practice. No experience with the OB side of things, but I and several friends have had only positive experiences with them for GYN issues.

          1. Avoid RHJN at all costs. I am literally in the midst of suing them in small claims court for failure to repay an overpayment I made in 2013. It seems pretty clear from the attitude of the people I have called there….and called….and called….and called in order to get my $500 back that they do this to patients on a regular basis. AVOID.

             1. FWIW, I am with them now for OB care and have found the doctors to be great. They were also great in handling a miscarriage for me previously. They deliver at Sibley, which is where I wanted to deliver. You do have to be on them to get any test results, though.

       2. I love NOVA Physicians to Women…I have been going to Dr. Prather for a decade and she is great! It is based out of Virginia Hospital Center in Arlington

    2. In DC: I used to see Nancy Gaba at GW and really liked her. I’ve also heard great things about the midwives at GW.

       In Arlington: I had a great experience at VHC near Ballston. My OB was with Arlington Women’s Center. I loved the labor and delivery nurses at VHC and the NICU doctors and nurses were wonderful. AWC also has 3 midwives in the practice if you’re interested in that.

       In my experience, it was great having my OB and the hospital so close to home. It made all the appointments easy to get to, and I was less stressed about going into labor quickly or having some other emergency. (Of course neither happened and I was in labor for days….) But if I had to choose between a so-so close hospital and a great practice further away, I would probably have chosen the better practice/hospital.

    3. My “baby” is 3 but I delivered at Shady Grove and highly recommend it. I was low-risk and it was my second baby so I knew the drill.

       They are totally supportive of natural birth if that is your thing (it was mine). I was seen by midwives from White Flint associates (they may have a different name now but they had ob/midwifery practice offices in White Flint mall).

       I also HIGHLY recommend the doulas from By Your Side.

       re: distance, it mattered, but access and different routes mattered more. I lived closer to another hospital but not far from Shady Grove and there were lots of different back roads to get there from my house. Luckily I had my baby at midnight so no traffic but you can’t plan it that way.

    4. I’ve delivered 3 babies – the first one was on the outer edges of convenience, and I learned when the office “surprise” shower was on the day of an appointment, that being able to duck out for a quick appointment, that’s convenient, does wonders for peace of mind, even when you are in a low-risk situation. Subsequent children were through an OB/GYN that was closer to work, and the hospitals in three counties were the same drive time, but I picked the one that was most convenient for my routines.

       I also left practice #1 on great terms – they became wildly popular – to the point where annual check-up were 6 months out. Glad to recommend them to others in the locale, and find another promising OB/GYN that is 10 minutes from my office and 20 minutes from home. The last month of pregnancy has weekly, or more frequent appointments. Hospital is 25 minutes from home. Even with 3 routine births with single-digit-hours of labor (I never got my worst case scenario – I’m hopeful for everyone else’s L&D), there was little risk of the kiddo arriving in the car. Shortest labor was 4 hours.

11. Ugh. Anyone have ideas on how to go about finding a criminal defense attorney in the UK? Relative there is facing criminal charges and needs better representation than he seems to be getting through the legal aid process. We are willing to pay for it, but don’t know how to find someone (I don’t even really understand the solicitor/barrister/whatever split). FWIW, there are serious mental health issues at play in this mess (like, mental illness that causes him to confess to stuff he hasn’t done, and in fact physically could not have done, but current counsel does not seem to be following that angle up at all).

12. I have been on the hunt for fellowship opportunities in my field and recently emailed a faculty member I would like to work with. He wrote back he has no funding but would be happy to support my application for a funding scheme that their university has. After so many “No’s” I was taken aback to say the least and now I find myself a little “tongue tied” i.e. not sure what to write back as I go read through their research, application procedures etc. I guess this must be imposter syndrome, ugh.

    1. Congratulations! I don’t have any experience in that area but this sounds like a great step forward. When in doubt, a sincere thank you always works. Good luck with the application process.

    2. I struggle with IS as well, however, when I read your post, it reminded me that the Research & Scholarship is bigger than both of you. It’s in faculty’s interest to support promising research and scholarship, and if they get too protective – the research does not grow. Go for it. If it’s a success, the faculty member gets a feather in their cap for identifying new, successful talent. Even if it doesn’t, you have more contacts and an additional category to seek out for other prospects. The work (research) is the reward, as it supports colleagues, students and the world.

       I hope your question in 5 years is ” I have a great fellowship prospect, but no direct funding, how do I inform them of a potential opportunity (that I hope they get, but they have to be the best candidate) without promising too much.

       And totally echoing “sincere thank you” then engaging in the next steps of the process.

13. I am looking for a professional looking backpack that will work for my long treck to the train, probably black leather. I found something called PROENZA SCHOULER Black Leather Silver Tone PS Large Courier Backpack EVHB but wow it’s $2,000 at Nordstrom. Isn’t there anything that is a backpack that is a normal backpack size but looks professional?

    Athena

    1. I like this one: http://www.timbuk2.com/el-rio-laptop-backpack/459.html?dwvar_459_color=2007&dwvar_459_size=7

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