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Updated: Sep 22, 2020 384 Comments · by

Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Parke Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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For me, fall means that I can finally liberate the tweed blazers that have been sadly hanging in the back of my closet for the last six months. I like a brightly colored tweed because it looks less stuffy, and this teal grey herringbone is a dream.

Before I buy anything, I always try to think of three things in my closet I could wear it with. For this one, I’m thinking that it would go great with a printed navy blouse and navy ankle pants, over a black sheath with some contrasting jewelry (I have a pink necklace in mind), or with jeans and a white t-shirt.

The jacket is $248 and available in sizes 00–16. Parke Blazer in Teal Grey Herringbone English Wool

A more affordable option is this herringbone blazer in three fun, bright colors (yellow, blue, and pink) at J.Crew Factory — it's $62.50 and comes in “classic” sizes 00–24 and petite sizes 00–12. 

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Eyeshadow

    I like putting on a little makeup, even home alone. It makes me feel more put together and in charge of myself and I’ll take every ounce of that I can now. But, I was a lipstick and mascara girl. Now, with masks and switching to glasses full time for more protection, neither really work.

    So, teach me your eyeshadow ways. Products! Techniques! I’m terrible at eyeshadow and never bothered previously.

    • Cat

      Rather than eyeshadow, I’d suggest light eyeliner (upper lid) and brow gel. If you’re wearing glasses you can’t really see eyeshadow much anyway – and glasses draw attention to brows.

    • rw

      I like to do a one color look with a more creamy formula. Charlotte Tillbury makes a cream shadow in a pot (I like oyster pearl and amber gold) and an eye shadow pencil, and I find both work really well. Laura mercier (I like amethyst and khaki) and Bobbi brown are other options. Just apply a bit, blend out with a fluffy synthetic brush. I think colors that have a bit of shimmer/sheen work the best for this but Matte ones work too.

      • anne-on

        +1 – the Laura Mercier caviar sticks are all I wear these days because you literally just color in your lid and blend/smush out with a finger. In the before times they were also great for travel because I didn’t need to pack palettes/brushes/etc. They also work well for a thicker eyeliner look if you don’t want to fill in your whole lid.
        I’m very pale with green eyes and I alternate between Golden and Copper for an all over look metallic wash of color (again – blended out, if you don’t they are fairly pigmented, but I don’t find them too intense for normal office wear). Moonlight and amethyst are more darker/sparkly, so I mostly use those as liners, not all over colors.

    • anon

      Liquid eyeliner. A woman I work with always has cat-eye eyeliner under her glasses and it always looks sharp.

    • Anon

      I have an Anastasia Beverly Hills brow kit that comes with some neautral close to skin tone shadows that have a bit of sparkle to them for lack of a better word. When I’m going for a natural look, I do my brows and then put one of those “me but better” colors on my lids. No eyeliner, light mascara. I think it makes me look a lot more awake and polished.

    • Anonymous

      I like Bobbi Brown and Estée Lauder powder shadows, and a good set of eyeshadow brushes. If you google your eye color you can find suggestions on what will make your eyes pop. For me that’s mauve, a color I otherwise never would have purchased.

    • Anon

      I like to do two colors when I bother to do eyeshadow. I lean toward neutrals but you can do this with any – just use a lighter and a darker color that are related.

      You need a couple of brushes. You need a small flat lay down brush and a more tapered almost pointy brush. You will never get really good eyeshadow results using the foam applicators that come with eyeshadow palettes.

      Take the lay down brush and the lighter eyeshadow and brush that onto the lid. You can put this just on the part of your lid over the eye or you can take it all the way from your lash line to your brow.

      Then dip the pointier brush into the darker color and then apply in the crease of your eye in windshield wiper motion. Concentrate more toward the outer corner of your eye, and more up toward your brow bone. Keep brushing back and forth until well blended.

      After this, you may want to add liner and mascara for a more finished look.

      • Anon

        I can’t vouch for the quality of the linked set, but I wanted to show you a picture of what kind of brushes you’re looking for. The leftmost brush is a lay down brush, which you would use with the lighter color. The middle two brushes are what I was talking about as crease brushes. They will get that darker color right into your crease and help blend it in as you swish them back and forth. Start at the outer counter of the eye.

        The last brush you can dip in the darkest color of your eyeshadow palette and use as a liner. This may work particularly well if you lightly wet the brush first.

        https://www.morphe.com/products/eye-got-this-brush-set

    • Judicial discretion

      I wore a buttoned up blazer over a sports bra and a pair of shorts for a remote hearing I was presiding over last week. Honestly, I think blazers/suit jackets are the only pieces of “work-appropriate” clothing I’ll be buying for a while. While it hasn’t been confirmed yet, my supervisor has indicated we are likely to be remote indefinitely.

      • Anonymous

        Same here–blazers are the only element of my work wardrobe that I’m currently using. I am remote until at least January, probably until next summer. I’ve been wearing a t-shirt with jeans, leggings, or shorts depending on the weather, and throwing on a blazer for those videoconferences that call for something fancier than my Athleta Pranayama cardigan.

        • Anonymous

          I got that Athleta Pranayama cardigan during the F&F sale. Am I right in thinking that people wear with leggings (for butt coverage) or skinny jeans? Thinking of styling ideas since this is a manner of dressing I am not mastering (I am very Lebowski right now, and yes, there is that exact sweater in a women’s version at Pendleton; if only I could wear that light tan color without looking all sallow and pallid).

          • Anonymous

            Yes, I wear the Pranayama with leggings or skinny jeans. My rule of outfit proportions is that either the top or bottom should be fitted and the other should be more voluminous. E.g., flowy cardigan + skinny jeans, fitted tee + baggy jeans.

          • Anonymous

            I googled this cardigan & see they’ve got it styled with a sports bra lol

          • Anon

            I bought that sweater for my husband and it’s actually a great sweater. (My husband is 60 years old and talks just like The Dude, has done so for his entire adult life, and people often comment on it .)

    • Ribena

      Not since mid-March but all the time before that! My standard ‘formal’ outfit for work events and meetings was a dress and blazer combination. There was a six month period of time in 2018 where I was the only woman on my team so I could put a blazer over pretty much anything and the guys would assume I was smart enough. Plus they have POCKETS. (And I live in Scotland where tweed is a neutral so my tweed blazer plus jeans is a favourite outfit).

        • Ribena

          Oh I see! I thought you meant ‘in the last couple of years’! In which case yes – I often wear the tweed ones as a light jacket with jeans in spring and early summer if I’m going to be outside and want some extra warmth. We weren’t allowed to sit outside in parks here in that time period this year so I didn’t wear my tweed blazer then but that was an issue of circumstance and I can see me wearing it next spring for hanging out outside.

          • Curious

            Well done not giving into the snark, Ribena. Also, now I want to live somewhere where tweed is a neutral.

    • No Face

      Leggings + top /sweater + blazer is my “professional” outfit for remote court hearings, client meetings, presentations, etc. My giant blazer collection comes in very handy nowadays.

    • Ellen

      I do, even in Zoom/Webex meetings, b/c blazers allow me to get up and walk away if I have to get something to eat/drink, and as I have to walk back to the kitchen, the blazer covers my tuchus so much better than any blouse/skirt combo.

      Now that I am back in the office, wool blazers continue to be a must; especially b/c of the season — it’s getting colder to walk in the morning, and I even wore a winter jacket this morning! It is only the first day of Fall! Ouch! I can’t imagine what it is going to be like in December! FOOEY!

      I have to go out to Long Island to see the family again this weekend and will be taking time off Monday for the holiday so I want to wish all the best to the hive! Dad tried to palm me off on one of his golf buddy’s son who is already divorced twice and looking for someone new to have s-x with. Doubel Fooey on that! But I was nice and ZOOMED him for 5 minutes but could not listen any more to that schlub telling me what a great catch he was (he runs his Dad’s hardware store – yuck) and what he likes to do in bed. PTOOEY on him and all of that! I can’t imagine spending any time at all with him. Plus, he had a booger in his nose when he talked to me that I thought was going to fall out at any time! How GROSS is that!

    • Anonymous

      OP here.I was half-kidding and only referring to pandemic times. I LOVE blazers but feel silly wearing them for zoom. Totally get it if you’re a lawyer and are attending hearings!

      • Anon

        I feel you. I was a big blazer fan when I went to an office but haven’t put one on since March. I don’t have any need to wear them (I over-dressed for the office in pre-pandemic life) and feel silly putting them on for zooms.

        • Senior+Attorney

          I was still doing what I called business semi-formal in The Before Time, and I’m still dressing up more than most people even now (still going to the office), but I have to admit I haven’t worn a blazer in months. Which is SO NOT LIKE ME but they just seem… a quaint relic of days gone by at this point.

          Maybe when the weather cools (and, you know, the fires go out) I’ll reconsider.

    • Anonymous

      Like yes in theory, but I had everything tailored to the Nth degree (like Robin Wright in HOC). Thanks to my COVID-10, neither they nor my jeans fit comfortably.

      Is it bad that I only wear with turtlenecks / tees?

      • pugsnbourbon

        That’s what I’m seeing in the “10 looks for Fall” articles I always click on for some reason. Oversized blazer as outerwear over a white t-shirt, light-wash jeans in a non-skinny yet not too wide cut, and boots with square toes. The only part I’m willing to do is the white t-shirt!

      • Anon

        Same. I live in a mild climate that gets below the 30s maybe three days out of the year, so a slightly big blazer + sweater (or blouse with cami underneath) is my primary winter wear for work. My faves for this are thrifted men’s blazer that are later tailored – you get the shape AND the pockets. Also, I find a good quality men’s blazer is had at a lower price point than a similar quality women’s blazer.

      • anne-on

        +1 – The only way my blazers are seeing any action currently is as a light outerwear layer (esp. the corduroy/ponte ones). In general thought I’m just not willing to generate any dry-cleaning, so sweater jackets FTW!

    • anon

      I am a lawyer and stopped wearing them totally a few years ago. I have really narrow shoulder and large breasts and they look terrible on me and are uncomfortable. I realized that a good long sleeved nancy pelosi-esque dress looks way more competent on me than a blazer. Now I work from home and wear sweatshirts.

    • Seventh+Sister

      Yes, when I head into the office, and it’s an easy outer layer since it’s never super cold here (LA).

  3. Anon100

    Different poster from yesterday’s coffee break post, but would also like more suggestions for wireless headsets! I’m not an Apple user, so no Airpods for me. Would prefer headphone/microphone set, budget is up to $100 (although I’m willing to go higher up to $250), and I have a small head. A lot of the headphones out there are constructed for adult men and even their smallest settings has the headphones falling off my head…

    • Cat

      Airpods work with non-Apple devices, FYI :) They are seamless *with* Apple but work like any other Bluetooth device too.

      • Airplane.

        +1 Airpods have worked better than any other work issued bluetooth headset for me. But maybe it’s because we are getting not so great logitechs and there are better models out there.

    • Anon

      Logitech H800 Bluetooth wireless headset. Also connects w/ USB-A. Charge lasts for 6 hours, has noise cancelling mic, and headband adjusts. Very good sound. I wear mine for hours of Skype, Zoom, etc calls, and very comfy.

    • Bonnie Kate

      I hear you on the small head! I will say that I use my AirPods now 90% of the time, but I also really like my wireless Bose Soundlink headphones that I had before the AirPods. They are over the ear – but they are by far the most comfortable headphones that don’t fall off my head at all. They have a microphone too and can be used to make calls. I would have stuck with them exclusively except DH got me the AirPods for working out and they’re just so little and handy that I do gravitate toward them. If I wasn’t a big Apple user, I would definitely give the Bose SoundSport wireless headphones a heavy look because of how happy I’ve been with the over the ear ones. Plus they’re only $130, so not too far out of your budget.

    • Anon

      I received AirPods for Christmas, and they work just fine with my PC work laptop and Android cell.

  4. Nerves

    I’m handling my first big, multi-day legal proceeding today by myself. I’ve shadowed two, handled one very small / short similar proceeding, and now I’m on my own. I am super nervous, also excited, but hoping I can represent my client well. I was supposed to have a senior lawyer to shadow again before handling the next one, but due to their serious Covid complications, I’m on my own. Hoping for some good vibes, and if you have stories about going past your comfort zone or big firsts, I’ll happily read them after today ends as I prep for tomorrow!

    • Ellen

      Hugs! You will do fine! I shadowed the manageing partner for my first few cases, but he then let me do stuff w/o him, and I have not looked back since. Remember, you have the power of the HIVE behind you, and the firm will appreciate your doeing this on your own! We will all be their in sprint for you, so go for it, and make sure to report back to us! YAY!!!!

    • Anon

      You’ve got this! And your office knows you can handle it, so you already have that vote of confidence.

  5. Odele hair care

    Anyone use Odele hair products? I saw an ad for them, and it looks pretty good.
    I have wavy and frizzy shoulder length hair so I was planning to buy the shampoo and conditioner from the smoothing collection.
    Are they sold at any brick and mortar stores like Ulta or just online?

  6. Cb

    Anyone have advice on moving into a temporary apartment between houses/during renovations? It looks likely that our flat will sell really quickly, and as it is at its highest value, we are keen to sell now. However, I expect we won’t find something right away/what we do find will require some work. We’d look to rent furnished flat, so I guess just bring clothes, toys, books (son is 3) and kitchen/bedding.

    How do you manage it practically? What do I do with my plants? Any advice for doing the big sort of the flat? Organising things for storage and moving? We’ll likely go from 680 square feet to about 900/1000.

    • Anon

      I have never done this, but I assume people generally rent a storage unit for things they will not use in the temporary place. Whatever you pack, place in numbered boxes and keep a master list of what’s in each box. This is good for any move. And yes, definitely throw away or donate anything you don’t need going forward if you have accumulated a lot of clutter. Examples are worn out baby clothing and crib linens, books that can be given away, chipped or mismatched dishes if you plan to replace them anyway. Since you are in a small space anyway, I can’t imagine you have too much useless junk stored, but you never know!

      • Cb

        Haha, I’m a ruthless purger, so baby stuff has left the house almost as soon as it was outgrown. My husband keeps joking that I only agreed to move in order to get rid of stuff. I’d happily live in a minimalist Scandi box (a dozen books, some house plants, and some nice cookwear and I’m happy) but sadly my husband and son don’t share my sentiments.
        The linen cupboard does need a purge and I’m going to use this opportunity to get rid of my nemesis, the Little People noisy farm.

        • Anonymous

          I still have our Little People creche. It has all of our Little People in it now.

          I’m a purger, but I love a creche that we don’t have to be delicate with.

        • avocado

          I used to remove the batteries from all the Little People toys before giving them to my kid so she didn’t even know they could make noise.

          • Walnut

            I also removed all batteries. My mother added them back in and you would have thought it was second Christmas with how delighted my children were.

        • Anon

          FYI my local children’s hospital loves to receive any and all donations of little people for their toy room. Wash them in hot soapy water first.

    • BeenThatGuy

      I did this with a 3 year old many years ago. I kept it really, really simple. We each had a laundry basket filled with the only clothes we were going to wear. Luckily it was summer and we didnt need a seasonal change of clothes. Then we each got another laundry basket full of comfort things; think toys/books for the little one. The place we rented had all kitchen items and furniture. We had 1 set of sheets and 1 towel each. It was bare bones living but we managed.

      • Cb

        That makes a ton of sense. My husband and I don’t need much – just our work set ups as we’re both WFH for the foreseeable (especially as we’re about to head into another lockdown) but I’m a bit worried about the potential of being stuck at home with the little one, so will prioritise his toys (Brio, the seemingly infinite number of Matchbox cars, bike, scooter, etc).

    • Honey

      I was building a house that took 2x as long as needed, so my experience may be different. Pack for an extra season. (For example, if you think you’ll only be in until December, also pack some clothes for when it gets really cold this winter in case things get delayed).

      • Cb

        Thanks, that’s a really good point. Luckily Scotland’s pretty consistent weatherwise (black tights all year round) but smart to think about more seasonal things.

        • Anon

          If you have any holiday traditional items, think ahead so that you will have them in a few months.

    • Anonymous

      I did this for a major renovation of our house recently with kids. FWIW, it is easy to pack and move once to an unfurnished place (vs pack and move into storage). We had an AirBNB with crazy amounts of cat hair on every soft surface, so I did not want to take that risk in a longer-term rental (bad cat allergy). We did the math and for the cost of renting furnished vs unfurnished, we could have bought a new set of cheap furniture (pre-covid; now you can’t buy a desk in our city), but we still would have had the expense of moving and storing our old furniture. Moving was an essential business in our state on Day 1, so we were able to get movers when we needed to move back to our home.

    • Anonymous

      Plants — I would take them with you to the new place. Any reason not to?
      Combine decluttering to sell with packing for storage. Assess what you will need in your temporary place to be comfortable and start packing the rest in numbered boxes with a good detailed list of what’s in each box. Depending on the place you rent (e.g size) , the boxes can come with you or go to storage along with your furniture.
      Good time to purge/donate/recycle if you have excess “stuff”

    • Anonymous

      Practically it is a massive hassle, but you hire movers to take half your stuff to storage and half to the new place. And then push yourselves to make the perma move happen. Like, right now be looking hard. Or you’ll get stuck and be unsettled for a year and that’s expensive.

      • Cb

        Uncertainty does make me crazy and the idea of two moves is horrific, but the timing is hard to make line up. We’re seeing a place this week that is ADORABLE but likely needs significant work. It’s priced right for it, but I think it hinges on whether we move in for a bit and then move out for the big stuff. We could decamp somewhere nearby.

        • London Mover

          Pay for the movers to pack. It is a tiny price compared to overall costs. My recollection of moving in London about 4 years ago, was that packing of a 1500 sq ft house plus shed cost about £500. Take out what you need for interim, and the leave them to it. They packed in half a day for us. Sanity and no need to think about divorce. 15 months later (took a while to find the right house). Everything came out perfectly.

      • Minnie Beebe

        Find a moving company with their own storage on site. You won’t be able to access it during the storage, but who really wants to rummage through a storage unit anyway? It’ll be much cheaper than a self-storage unit.

        Then, as PPs have said, have the movers bring what’s required to the temp rental (I’d go with unfurnished and bring my own) including bare-bones kitchen supplies and furniture. Like others have suggested, prepare for the work to take longer than you expect, so bring clothes necessary for the seasonal changes you expect, as well as any important holiday decorations (maybe get a small storage unit for these things, so you can access them but don’t need to keep it all in a tiny apartment.)

        We did this a few years back– sold a 3-br condo but hadn’t yet found a house. So we rented a tiny 2br apartment in a highrise. We brought some of our furniture and other assorted items, stored most with the moving company, and had the one company move everything into the house 5 or 6 months later. It wasn’t the most enjoyable process, but everything worked out well (with the movers, anyway. The house situation was the source of MUCH stress!)

    • Anon+Probate+Atty

      I did the same thing last summer. We were in temporary housing for almost a month after we sold and before we closed on our new house. I brought my smaller potted plants with us, but left all the big potted plants at the old house for the new owners to care for, or not. We have two kids, two cats and a dog and we were all in a (furnished) approx. 650 square foot apartment. Our kids shared a bedroom. We had no choice but to rent a storage unit, and we all brought just a few casual outfits, PJs and my husband and I brought a few work outfits each. I wish I had bought a bit more work clothing only because I got really tired of rotating the same outfits. Other than that, we really didn’t have the room to take anything other than the pet supplies, electronics and a few books for the kids. It wasn’t great, but we got through it. Good luck!

    • The+original+Scarlett

      You can try for a rent-back clause where basically you rent your old place from the buyers for a period of time.

    • AnonATL

      Do you have POD or something similar near you? We were homeless (in an Airbnb) for a month between selling and buying our second home and we loaded everything but the essentials into a pod. It was more cost effective because I think they charged a flat rate for the month and we only had to load and unload once vs twice to move into a stationary storage unit.
      You can hire labor to load and unload if you don’t want to do it all.
      We took a variety of clothes for the month, our houseplants, and a few kitchen essentials and leftover food. We were in a fully furnished Airbnb though and didn’t have a kid at the time. We also knew our closing date for our new home before we moved out of our old one so there was a finite deadline. If it is more open ended for a couple months, your packing list will probably expand a lot.

    • Anon

      I did this, but with no kids and no plants. We got a Pod (a big portable storage unit), but I don’t know if those are available elsewhere. It was great, though – they brought it to the old place, we loaded it up, and it was put in storage until our new house was finished.

    • Architect

      We did this three years ago. We had 5 weeks between the old and new house. Then we took another week after closing to get the wood floors refinished and walls painted. Almost everything was put in storage and we moved into an nearby Airbnb. It was not cheap but not as expensive as you might think. It really worked out well.

    • Nesprin

      You request a rentback or rent a long term hotel situation+ storage locker. Pack all furnature into garage or storage locker, keep a few wks of clothes, toys, comfort items etc.

  7. Anonymous

    Recommendations for a seasonally appropriate, cute, lightweight, medium sized purse/tote? I got a summery straw purse from my Fab Fit Fun box over the summer and I absolutely love it. I’ve been carrying small cross body bags for years and I forgot how much I liked having a slightly larger bag – big enough for a water bottle. Sadly, I think I have to retire this bag until the spring, so I’m looking for a fall/winter replacement. Open top is ok but it must have a zippered pocket big enough for my wallet and phone. Thanks all!

  8. Anon

    I’m in the market for a new bike. I’d like a road bike or a hybrid bike since most of my riding is on pavement, but I don’t need to go all-out and get something top-of-the-line. I basically just want something for riding 10-30 miles at a time for exercise (more intense speed) and to check out new places in my town (more relaxed). I was checking out some of the Bianchi bikes, like the Cortina, but does anyone have experience with that brand or any recs? Willing to spend up to about $700 for something good with decent components. I’m an experienced mountain biker with excellent handling skills and low handiness with bikes (I can change a tire and lube the chain…), but I have never shopped for a road bike. I’m also 5’4″ if anyone wants to recommend a specific size. Happy to entertain all ideas! Thanks in advance.

    • notinstafamous

      Depends on where you are, but you might be better off waiting until the spring 2021 bikes come into the market — at least in my area (PNW) you can’t get a reasonably bike for under $750 because there just aren’t any!

      Now, more specifically… if you’re looking for exercise, I would recommend a flatbar road bike over something like the Bianchi Cortina because it’s such a relaxed fit with light gearing – it’ll be hard to get consistent exercise out of it. It’s more of a commuter/city bike where you’re cruising but not working too hard. A flatbar road bike (Giant FastRoad and the Liv Thrive are two examples that come to mind) will let you use them in the city just fine, but also let you get real cardio in. I like Liv (Giant’s women line) because they come in sizes that fit me as a 5’3″ person!

      The flatbar is better than dropped handles if you also want to ride around the city / use it as a more relaxed bike. It’s also cheaper.

      I love Bianchi as a brand and they make gorgeous bikes, but I do think they’re expensive for the components you’re getting – particularly at a lower level, you’re paying a huge premium for the brand of them having made bikes since the 1880s. At your price point, you’re looking at an aluminum frame with a reasonable groupset (I wouldn’t go below Shimano Sora) but nothing too fancy.

      • Minnie Beebe

        Yes, this! Flat Bar Road Bike >> Hybrid. Flat Bar Road bike will be more nimble, generally lighter. Hybrids are usually not good bikes. (I was a pro racer for a while and worked in the bike industry as an engineer, so this is not “gut feel” but based in fact)

        All of the bike brands will have a range of styles and prices, and somewhat similar parts specification in a specific range, so I’d recommend choosing a bike shop that you like (and that does not ignore you or try to steer you to the “pink” models right away) and then choose from the brands they have to offer.

        I can say that certain companies have a better reputation in the industry that others for sponsoring women’s teams, for hiring women, for generally being respectful toward women (i.e. no “booth babes” at trade shows… though the trade shows are pretty much dead at this point.) I’d look at Liv (a division of Giant), Trek, Salsa.

    • Anon

      The Bianchi Cortina isn’t a road bike. That saddle looks like straight torture to be on for 30 miles and the components are entry level. They are Shimano, but that is their bottom-of-the-market offering. Particularly if you’re used to a mountain bike of any quality, I think you’re going to be disappointed with something like this – you’re not really saving much weight, you’re still using mountain bike gears, etc.

      If you can find one, the Salsa Journeyman would be my recommendation for a new bike, but it’ll be a little bit above your stated price. It seems to hit the sweet spot of quality and value. It’s a comfortable ride and can be set up for on or off-road use. You also have the option of flat or drop bars. Comes with Shimano Sora drivetrain, so ok, and easily upgradable in the future if so desired.

      Entry level bikes of all types are in really short supply, as COVID has pushed tons of newbies into the sport. Go to you local bike shops and ask if anyone your size has traded up. Almost everyone who is shopping for a bike wants exactly what you’re after. If you see something that’s a possibility on FB marketplace, Craigslist or similar, jump on it. If it’s priced well and isn’t crap, it’ll be gone quickly, as you may have already found out.

      Right now, the only bikes you can reliably find are high-end.

    • Clementine

      Highly suggest you take a look at Jamis bikes. They have a few models but are right in that sweet spot of ‘nice but not absurd’.

    • ALX+emily

      If you happen to be in the DC area, I am literally just about to list my mid-tier medium sized women’s road bike for sale…I’m a touch over 5’5″ so I think the size is probably right too!

    • anon

      We got the Tern folding bikes because those were literally the only ones available under 2k in our city. Overall, we bought them with low expectations (and a bit of skepticism) and have been pretty impressed with them for riding around the city on 10-20 mile exploring our (pothole ridden) city rides. I’d give them a go if you can try them out at a bike shop. They are definitely more on the commuter bike side of things.

    • Anon

      Thanks all! Would love more recs if anyone else has them but this feedback has been very helpful so far. I’ll check out Jamis, the Liv Thrive, and Salsa. Not in the DC area, unfortunately, but thanks!!

      • Anon

        You should probably contact the DC poster – shipping a bike isn’t that expensive.

        • Minnie Beebe

          It costs like $100-150 to ship a bike UPS. On a $700 bike, that’s kind of a lot, no?

          • Anon

            Since a quality, new/well-maintained used example of what she’s after is basically unobtainable right now, if she wants a bike badly enough, it’s well worth it for one that meets her needs.

      • LadyB

        I love my Liv road bike. I’d suggest taking a look at the Liv Avail and the Trek Domane.

    • Hollis

      I just bought a Specialized hybrid bike in xs size from a person on craiglist who bought it new and had a daughter who rode it maybe 1 time total. I paid $400 but he paid over $600, plus taxes from the local bike shop. The bike is perfect for my needs. It’s craiglist, so you need to take some precautions ( meet at a public place, bring a friend, etc.) but I couldn’t be happier with the purchase. Look around on craiglist and nextdoor and I think you’ll be surprised by the options.

  9. Allbirds

    The Allbird wool runners look so cute to me! But, are they…good shoes? Do they have support, particularly for people who pronate? Do they last? Are they hot/cold?

    • NY CPA

      The one thing I’ve consistently heard about them is that they have no support. So if you have perfect feet, they’re super comfortable, but since I over pronate, I’ve avoided them like the plague and stuck to my stability running shoes :(

    • Veronica Mars

      I have about 4 pairs of allbirds in different colors and am an over pronator. I love the wool runners (original) in the winter. I know they say they’re year round but I don’t like them in the spring/summer when it’s hot out. They’re amazingly comfortable and I wear them every day for walking my dog 2+ miles or so. They last me about a year or two of heavy use. As you wear the wool runners, they get looser and less supportive, but I don’t need support for walking. I keep a pair of newer all black allbirds aside and only wear them at events/conferences (or at least I used to) when I was walking/on my feet for 14 hrs and walking like 20 miles around the show floor. When they’re new they’re the perfect blend of comfortable and supportive. When I’ve worn them for several conferences, they become my regular walking shoes. The mizzles are stiffer and more supportive but I’m not as much of a fan of them; they’re heavier.

    • anon

      I’m an Allbirds hater. My feet slipped around inside of them so I was constantly clenching my toes for stability (and to avoid my toes ripping a hole in the front part, which I’ve heard happens very easily because the fabric is so soft). They went into the donation bin almost immediately.

      • BB

        I had this same problem with Rothy’s! Good to hear someone else has a similar experience. I think it’s the knit fabric thing. It’s too stretchy.

    • Anon

      No support, don’t last as long as they should for the price, and temperature is ok but runs a little hot. I’ve had two pairs and found them overrated.

    • Anom

      Compared to most fashion sneaker-type shoes or to classic ballet flats, Allbirds are pretty darn good. I can’t do converse or simular bc of lack of support but find Allbirds pretty decent. I have an old pair of leather Rockport sneakers (Willa?) that are amazing for support. I’m also an overpronator. Allbirds feel better to me than Keds, which were my prior standby. I got wool Allbirds last winter and liked them for casual Fri or weekends. I got tree runners in the spring and am back in them now that it’s too cold for sandals. If you’re serious about needing support, you need Vionics or Rockport or something else that they sell at The Walking Company. But if you need better than average, Allbirds are good.

    • Anon

      I like the Tree Runners (ballet flat) style but hate the Wool Runners (tennis shoe style). I didn’t find them comfortable – they didn’t feel like they fit my feet correctly, despite ordering both sizes around my Tree Runners size. My Vionics shoes are my current favorite, cute and comfortable and feel actually supportive. I wear them to walk my dog a few miles each day and they’re holding up really well.

    • Anonymous

      I love mine but they are fashion shoes not running shoes. I recently saw a commercial for Allbirds and I was (perhaps irrationally) angry that they advertise the shoes as running shoes. They’re great for walking around all day, they hold up well on slippery surfaces like wet cobblestones, and they have decent padding so my feet don’t ache at the end of the day. The wool shoes are pretty warm, the tree runners are cooler.

      The wool stretches and the tree runners get holes in them (from my big toe) over time. They lasted me maybe 2 years, which is pretty good imho. My slightly stretched out wool shoes are now my chores around the house shoes – I don’t normally wear shoes in the house, but I have accepted that I’m much more comfortable at the end of a full day of cooking and cleaning if I wore somewhat supportive shoes all day.

    • Ymanon

      I love my Allbird wool runners. They are super, super comfortable to me. I do no pronate, need no support and love barefoot shoes as well…

      They are not running shoes, they are very comfortable fashion trainers. The uppers expand with use, and shrink back when you wash them. They are lovely for sightseeing, work (if dress code allow) and running about in a normal day. Very cushy for me (but I can’t wear super supportive shoes).

      I’m between sizes and sized up, and that means that I do slide around a little bit if on tricky ground, like cobblestones, but that’s the half size off. I don’t have weak ankles, so not a problem for me. Would probably be solved by sizing down. I wear my thicker cotton socks to compensate.

      Mine have been washed several times during the last two years, and have held up well. I’m getting a new pair of the wool runners as soon as I can travel somewhere they are sold (no shipping to my country).

      I wore mine today, and I didn’t once during the day think about my shoes or feet.

  10. RBG

    Here is a happy note re RGB: she was not a cook. Could not cook. Kids did not like her cooking. Her husband (a NYC BigLaw tax partner while their kids were at home; before they moved to DC) did the cooking (my guess: and perhaps helpers and takeout; my house has takeout but not helpers who can cook unless you count my tweens using the microwave). Her husband was actually quite a good cook and social host.

    My tweens loved the RBG movie. I know they didn’t really mention this point to me, but I hope that the goodness of Marty Ginsburg and the lessons of choosing a good spouse for the person you are has sunk in deep somewhere in their subconscious.

    • Monday

      Thanks for this! I hate cooking. I can prepare edible food, but it is not a skill or an interest for me. I also don’t care very much what I eat. People can cook for me if they really want to! I still feel unusual as a woman with this attitude.

      • Airplane.

        +1 I’m you. I can prepare food but find zero joy in cooking / baking. I hate takeout too because it’s never worth it. Go out and dine and have an experience or just prepare edible food and call it a night – charcuterie board dinner! scrambled eggs and toast and sliced avocado! It’s all fine.

      • LaurenB

        I hate cooking too. And I resent when cookbook authors or pundits in general tell me how much I’d like it if I only did it more often, or that people always like to cook but they just don’t have time. Nope. I’ve got plenty of time, and don’t like to do it. I don’t feel any guilt that i don’t sew my own clothing (or weave my own fabrics); I’m not sure why I’m supposed to feel guilt that I don’t like to cook.

    • Anon

      my dad bought me the Marty Ginsburg cookbook years ago and this is motivating me to actually look at it

    • Anon

      I’m no RBG but I definitely married a Marty Ginsburg and I appreciate him everyday. Now I want the cookbook, for my husband of course.

    • Anonymous

      Is anyone else kind of sick of hearing about Marty? He was great, I had and loved him as a professor, but it seems like a heavy percentage of the tributes are focusing on what a good husband he was (which is true!) I just can’t even name the men sc justices wives

      • Anon

        I mean, clearly there is a reason for the focus of it. For a man of his vintage it was unusual to support his wife’s career like that all the way to the Supreme Court. Obviously he doesn’t get as much focus as his wife, but it is important to highlight choosing the right partner if you want one in order to achieve success. Having the right spouse may not help your success but having the wrong spouse can very much hinder it. If you look around, none of the other female justices are married, and by and large the top female law partners around the country are often unmarried or married into families that already had older kids. You don’t know the male justice’s wives because they did what was expected of them, fall back to support their husband’s careers. They aren’t special in that way.

      • Anon

        I know who Ginny Thompson is, but for all the wrong reasons. Not because she’s an amazing spouse or human being.

      • Anonymous

        I would probably have given a kidney to have had him as a professor. His treatise is great. I don’t think it is his cookbook, BTW, just a tribute cookbook to him. OTOH, the fact that people at his wife’s job made a tribute cookbook to him says something very very rare to occur in our lives. Where my husband works, I am still “and guest”.

        If you are single, I get that your accomplishments are your accomplishments. But if you have kids and a spouse, at a certain point everything is a group effort and group accomplishment. That kid doesn’t get a rowing scholarship without someone to schlep kid to/from practice at bad hours. Ditto Olympic figure skaters and gymnasts — Mom (generally Mom) sacrifices a lot to get you there. Marty was Ruth’s chief lobbyist and cheering section in getting her on the bench.

        I think that a supportive spouse like this from another generation is notable.

      • Anon

        Nah, I don’t think we put enough emphasis on how choosing the right spouse is really important. David Brooks spoke at my college commencement and made that point in his speech – that choice of spouse is more important to your happiness than your fancy education and your career. I’m not usually a fan of his, but that stuck with me.

        • Anokha

          I remember someone telling me this in my 20s and being really annoyed at how regressive it seems. Now, in my 30s, it has never resonated so hard. I look around at my female friends, and a lot of their happiness is tied to their choice of partners and whether their partners are taking on a (relatively equal) load re: childcare and career support.

        • Thanks it has pockets!

          I agree, and we should be emphasizing this more! When I was younger, the expectation seemed to be you fall in love, get married, and then figure things out from there, so you should be flexible and willing to fill whatever role your husband wanted/needed you to. Not that my peer group had that exact thought consciously, but when I said I had no interest in being a housewife, some people were taken aback and asked “what about what your husband wants?” (this was the early 2000’s and I was in middle school). The idea that I would hold out for a guy whose life goals fit nicely with mine was, I guess, too “out there” for some people to handle, maybe they thought I couldn’t afford to be so picky, but you know what, that’s something we should encourage girls to be picky about!

      • anonshmanon

        I agree that it’s a bit silly to heap so much praise on a man for doing things that are just expected of women. I think it’s more a point of RGB choosing wisely. But he was and today still would be a rare specimen, and rare things get talked about.
        And if excessive praise is what it takes to normalize being an involved parent and part of the household for men, I’ll take it.

      • anon

        No. I’m not hearing it as gushing praise for him that elevates his professional accomplishments and support of her above and beyond (or even remotely close to) her accomplishments. I’m hearing him discussed in very positive terms but it’s always in context of answering a pretty reasonable question: what were the circumstances that allowed RBG to be such a trailblazer in a time when opportunities for women were so limited? I’m not hearing people lauding him for being super duper dad of the year, I’m hearing how essential an equal partnership was to her success and how rare that was. And, frankly, it’s just plain old heartwarming. I love reading about their relationship. It’s inspiring and sweet and moving. Are stories about supporting your spouse (both ways) through career challenges, cancer, and childrearing romantic, passionate bodice-rippers? No, but man oh man does it sound truly loving.

        • Mondays

          Caitlin Moran’s new books talks along these lines, how women will “marry their glass ceiling”

    • Anonyz

      I used to tell people that I was an excellent baker but a terrible cook. I realize now that the more precise explanation is that I’m great at using the oven and terrible at using the stove. I grew up on gas and simply cannot adjust to electric; I hate it with a deep-seated passion. As a teen I made elaborate stained-glass candy using a gas stove, now I either serve raw or burned pork chops on an electric range.

      So if dinner involves a lasagna, casserole, baked meats, et cetera, I’m a dynamo. If you want something out of a frying pan, you’re on your own.

      My advice to anyone struggling in the kitchen is to consider if your issue is more about the method of food prep itself, rather than about the overwhelming concept of “cooking” as a whole.

    • Anonanonanon2

      An aspect of RBG that really inspired me most was her marriage dynamic and relationship. Neither had to take a backseat for the other, it was always an ebb and flow of who needed the most support. That’s what I looked for in my (second) husband and it’s been beautiful.

  11. Anonymous

    I think there are some scuba divers on this board – I’m a newbie trying to get certified and I’m incredibly frustrated with the process, I’m hoping someone can help guide me on this! I completed the online PADI course and had my (passing!) results sent to my local dive shop. The dive shop owner is very nice, I could totally see hanging out with her, but every time I ask her how much time the courses will take, the answer changes. At first, it was two half days or one full day in the pool and then open water over two partial days or one full day. Now that I’ve signed up, it’s two full pool days including a half day of classroom learning and two full open water days. I thought I didn’t have to do classroom stuff because I did the online course – everything I’ve read online seems to confirm this? I’m also not comfortable sitting indoors in a classroom for hours right now (the pool is outside). Can someone speak to the process and time commitment for this? Is this kind of back and forth normal, or do I need to find another dive shop? Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      I certified a long time ago but got consistent answers from all the dive shops I called. If I recall correctly, my program met in-person once/week for six weeks for coursework and pool sessions and then a final weekend diving outside. But there’s probably some variability in course length. For example, I’ve heard of people certifying quickly in a couple of days while on vacation. Personally, I wanted to make sure I was extremely comfortable and confident in my skills before getting in the ocean on a proper dive. Doing courses online wasn’t an option when I certified, but like I said, it’s been a while.

      I’m assuming you’ve tried explaining again that you already did the courses online? Is it possible they just forgot? But if you’re truly getting different answers each time you talk to them, I would find another dive shop.

    • Mal

      Yeah, this seems unnecessarily complicated – it’s a pretty standard procedure, so there should be an easy answer about next required steps. I’d try calling others shops and see what answers you get. Good luck! Enjoy diving :)

    • Diver

      The PADI Open Water course requires five confined water (like a pool) dives and 4 open water dives. Most instructors will have you do a few exercises/swim in the pool to check your comfort in the water and test the equipment. All 9 dives will require time for briefings, etc.

      In your case, I’d recommend calling the dive shop back and asking what specifically is covered in the half-day classroom session. If it’s something like gear assembly and care, I’d recommend taking it. It might also be a review of the course science. Up to you if you want to ask to be excused from that bit.

      I would not be surprised if a reputable dive shop wanted some time to make sure the students knew the material, esp if the claw was a few months ago or something. The dive instructor’s name is on your c-card forever; they may want to make sure they are comfortable signing off on your knowledge.

    • NY CPA

      From the PADI website: “The PADI Open Water Diver course consists of three main phases:
      1) Knowledge Development ( online, independent study or in a classroom) to understand basic principles of scuba diving
      2) Confined Water Dives to learn basic scuba skills
      3) Open Water Dives to use your skills and explore!”
      Sounds like you did part 1 and just need parts 2 & 3. I dont think that’s that common to do the elearning, rather than the classroom learning, so maybe she just doesnt understand? I would go back to her and explain again and point her to the website for more info? It also might be a custom request that they dont usually do, so be prepared to pay more for what is essentially going to be private lessons.
      FWIW, when I did my open water certification, I did an “express” group course which was 2 full days over the course of a weekend, and that was a combination of classroom + pool work. Then I did supervised test dives through a PADI dive shop one day of a vacation in the Caribbean and that counted towards my certification. Again, this was a “private” lesson thing so was $$$

    • LawyrChk

      I certified with NAUI, but what you’re describing is exactly what I did. One night of lessons in person classroom, two days of pool to learn the equipment (and test your skills and drills before they let you loose in open water), and then two dive days in open water.

      Seriously, this is an area where more time with the instructor and drills is to your benefit from a safety perspective. I hear the frustration but no need to rush.

  12. Red Velvet

    Per my name, I am looking for a red velvet cake recipe. I made one last year using either a Smitten Kitchen or Sally’s Baking Addiction recipe that called for cake flour, and it tasted kind of weird / soapy. I’d like to make a yummier one this year, obvs. It is for a little kid birthday, so it doesn’t have to be fancy or layers. Any recommendations?

    • anne-on

      So, it isn’t red velvet, but I’d suggest doing a trusted chocolate cake and then adding cream cheese frosting. I bake a decent amount and I find most red velvet recipes overly dry and fussy. This is my all-time favorite old-fashioned chocolate cake recipe – very moist and rich – it reminds me of the Entenmann’s blackout cake (the highest of compliments in my dad’s mind)
      https://smittenkitchen.com/2007/07/double-chocolate-layer-cake/

    • anon

      Box mix, with homemade cream cheese frosting. Way better tasting than any homemade red velvet I’ve had.

    • Airplane.

      I love red velvet cake but I just get it from a fancy cake shop / bakery. Never found homemade recipe to be better. Box mix or cake shop.

      • NY CPA

        +1 Red food coloring in particular is known for having a bitter taste (not sure why red is the worst), and you need a lot of food coloring to get red velvet cake to be red.
        In my opinion, red velvet cake is just dry chocolate cake with red food coloring. I would just go with a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting if that’s what you want. This is hands-down the best chocolate cake I’ve ever made: https://addapinch.com/the-best-chocolate-cake-recipe-ever/

    • Aunt Jamesina

      Hello, I am here to rescue you with my great-grandmother’s recipe. It is a beautifully moist cake no bakery cake or mix could ever top. She was from Kentucky, but since I grew up in the Midwest, we were the Weird Family who ate That Strange Red Cake for years in the 80s and 90s when nobody had ever heard of it. Now, cream cheese frosting is a beautiful thing, but IT IS NOT THE ACTUAL TRADITIONAL FROSTING AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL IN AN ATTEMPT TO CONVERT YOU. The traditional frosting is actually called cooked flour (ugh) or ermine frosting, and it is divine. Be sure you whisk the flour in reallly carefully to avoid lumps if you go this route.

      1 bottle of red food coloring/ ½ tsp gel paste
      2 T cocoa
      ½ cup Crisco or ½ cup veg oil
      1.5 cups sugar
      2 eggs
      1 cup buttermilk
      2 and ¼ cup flour
      1 scant tsp salt
      1 tsp vanilla
      1 T apple vinegar
      1 tsp baking soda
      Add food coloring to the cocoa very slowly. Set aside. Cream Crisco and sugar in
      your mixer. Add the eggs and coloring paste. Add buttermilk and the flour, salt and
      vanilla. Mix well. Remove from mixer. By hand add the vinegar and baking soda.
      Bake in 2 round pans or a 9×13 pan in a 350 degree oven for about 30 minutes.

      Frosting:
      4 T flour
      1 cup of milk
      1 cup of butter
      1 cup sugar
      1 tsp vanilla
      Mix flour and milk with a whisk. Heat in a pan under medium heat until it is a stiff
      paste. Allow to cool. Cream butter and sugar in your mixer. Add the flour paste
      mixture and the vanilla. Beat until fluffy.

        • Aunt Jamesina

          Also, I exclusively use vegetable oil (I’ve also used butter, but it’s not quite as tender) and gel food coloring now that it’s no longer 1994. No risk of that awful food coloring taste coming through.

          • Senior Attorney

            This looks amazing. I just added it to my Paprika App and named it “Aunt Jamesina’s Kentucky Great-Grandmother’s Red Velvet Cake.”

      • Anon

        What’s the point of the red food coloring other than adding color? Non-natural red food dyes contain carcinogens. Isn’t easier to just make it without the food dye? It’s basically a chocolate cake with food dye so it’s not that special

      • Anon

        I’ve spent enough time in the South to know that cream cheese frosting on red velvet cake is wrong.

    • Anon

      I have a really long handwritten recipe so I can’t post a link to it. Red velvet cake is a Dutch chocolate cake, where the chocolate turns kind of a brick red due to the reaction with the acid in the buttermilk/vinegar in the batter. You can add red food dye to make it redder, but that’s more of a modern thing.

      The traditional dressing was not cream cheese but a cooked white buttercream. It’s definitely worth trying – the frosting is the best part.

      I will try to find my very old recipe and post it for you in a bit.

      • Anon

        Wow, Aunt Jamesina posted a recipe very similar to mine right above while I was typing my response!! My recipe is from South Carolina. Other than that they are very similar.

        And yes, I feel the same about the frosting. Make the ermine frosting!!!

        • Anon

          Wow this recipe is also very similar to my great aunt’s recipe (she was from Tennessee)! We were also the weird Midwest family eating the red cake for every holiday. She called it “Red Dutch” and it took me a few adult years to realize it was the same “red velvet” cake that was so trendy. And yes the ermine frosting is to die for!!!

          She also made the best coconut cake I’ve ever had… I need to dig out those recipes and see if I can still make them.

        • Anon

          Jinx back!! I use the veg oil option rather than the crisco, and sometimes add more than 1/2 cup – don’t tell anyone. Makes a very moist cake.

          I have gotten so tired of telling people it’s not supposed to be cream cheese frosting. I used to make a half sheet cake version for my kids’ birthday parties and I’d have moms tell me, with a mouthful of cake, that my cream cheese frosting was delicious! Haha.

          But seriously, cooked buttercream is the best frosting ever.

          • Aunt Jamesina

            Same on the vegetable oil for me! Can’t think of the last time I purchased Crisco.

          • Anon

            I found my recipe already typed out in an email i sent one of the moms after a birthday party.

            Cake:
            1/2 c unsalted butter
            1 3/4 c superfine sugar
            2 eggs, room temperature
            1/3 c oil
            2 1/4 c cake flour
            1/2 t salt
            1/3 c cocoa
            1 c buttermilk
            1 oz red food coloring (a whole bottle)
            1 t vanilla extract
            1 t baking soda
            1 T white vinegar

            Preheat oven to 350. Have rack in middle of oven. Butter and flour two 9″ cake pans using cake flour.

            Measure flour, not packing measuring cup. Mix together with cocoa and salt.

            In a glass measure, combine buttermilk, food coloring and vanilla. (Be careful, this will stain everything it touches.)

            Have baking soda and vinegar ready, but do not combine yet.

            Using a mixer, cream butter and sugar until very light and fluffy, potentially a long time depending on your mixer. Add eggs one at a time, then oil.

            Alternate adding flour mixture and buttermilk mixture to creamed butter mixture, barely mixing each combination. Do not overbeat anything with flour in it – it will make a tough, dry cake.

            Now, combine baking soda and vinegar in a cup over the mixing bowl. It will foam up. Fold this by hand into cake mixture.

            Pour immediately into prepared cake pans, dividing evenly between the two pans. Bake about 30 minutes, but start checking for doneness around 20-25 min. Cake is done when edges are starting to pull in from sides, but not brown, the cake is barely springy to the touch, and a knife in the center will have a few moist crumbs clinging.

            Cool 10 minutes in pans, then run a knife around sides of pans and invert onto plates to cool completely.

            Traditional non-cream cheese frosting:

            3 T flour (I used Wondra)
            1 c milk
            1 c unsalted butter (2 sticks)
            1 c superfine sugar
            1 t vanilla

            In small saucepan, mix flour with a little bit of milk until perfectly smooth. Then add rest of milk, while stirring constantly over medium heat. Cook until very thick and then cool in refrigerator until completely cooled.

            When cooled, separately cream sugar, butter and vanilla until light and fluffy.

            Beat flour/milk mixture into creamed butter mixture. Texture should be like whipped cream.

            This frosting will frost a two layer cake. If you want a four layer cake, double the frosting and slice cake layers horizontally (I did not do.)

            Frost cake, each layer curved top down

            (As mentioned, I usually skip the food coloring, and I use more oil)

          • Senior Attorney

            Now I will be saving Anon From Corporette’s Tennessee Great Aunt’s Red Velvet Cake recipe and making them both and having a taste test.

    • Mondays

      I’ve made the Bravetart red wine velvet cake and it was excellent. Her cream cheese frosting is good but way too much effort, would recommend just making a simple cream cheese + confectionary sugar version. All of her recipes that i’ve tried have been fantastic.

  13. anon

    TL;DR: Has anyone used the Pixel at-home COVID test? How is the timing on mailing it back and getting results?

    My husband’s family wants to rent a house in the Hamptons in October for a long weekend to celebrate a milestone birthday. I think everyone should get tested before we go (we have a kid in daycare but are otherwise very cautious; three of the people are coming from NYC and are less cautious; two will have been on a domestic flight the week before from a southern state). Debating whether to try to get a Rx from our doctors for a test (though we have no symptoms/exposure) or to try to use a service like Pixel and hope the results are immediate enough to be useful.

    TIA!

    • Anonymous

      Questions like this make me realize how the US ended up where it is. Have you not heard about the Maine wedding and the 8 deaths associated? Do not plan a milestone birthday party with extended family in a pandemic.

      • Anon

        8 deaths, all of which were among people who did not attend the wedding, in a rural part of the state with a low case count and lots of socioeconomic challenges. That’s so sobering to me. Don’t let your celebration be someone else’s funeral.

      • Anon

        I 100% agree with you but what I am unfortunately seeing is the people that have been super cautious are now burned out. There is no end in sight due to the people that were never cautious. Since this could never end, the people who have been doing the right thing think ok, I deserve one outing/wedding/birthday party whatever exception is important to them. When they see their neighbors acting like COVID never happened, it makes sense. It is human nature and psychological.

        While I would like us to all do the right thing, the reality is, even the strictest people are probably doing things 80 or 90% right. So rather than wishing and hoping people could just smarten up, I think it’s better to put our energies into what people will actually do, like testing before an event. Not foolproof but certainly better than nothing.

        • LaurenB

          “I 100% agree with you but what I am unfortunately seeing is the people that have been super cautious are now burned out. There is no end in sight due to the people that were never cautious. Since this could never end, the people who have been doing the right thing think ok, I deserve one outing/wedding/birthday party whatever exception is important to them.”

          But the virus doesn’t go “oh, well, THIS family has been cautious/good to date, so I’ll skip them and go attack only the people who have been living it up.” This sounds like my father-in-law in Florida who swears that because he lives in a gated community, he’s safe — as if the virus gets to the gate and says “oh, whoops, I don’t have the security code, I’ll just go somewhere else.”

          • Anon

            Is your father-in-law related to my brother? He makes the same argument for his fancy LA neighborhood.

          • Anon

            I’m the poster at 11:20. I fully agree with you Lauren. I’m just reporting what I’m observing amongst friends and family. They were willing to be strict when there was hope it would go away. With everyone else being irresponsible they are throwing up their hands and saying “we’ll take our chances, at least to do X.”

        • Anon

          This is such a US thing. “I’m sick of being careful so I don’t kill people. YOLO!”

          It drives me nuts.

          • Anonny

            +1 As a non-american this is so hard to watch from afar. It’s such a crazy and incomprehensible ideology that being a good person is hard so fuck it who cares if people are killed by covid.

        • Anon

          I’m sorry but no. Being “burnt out” is no reason to potentially spread a deadly virus around your entire extended family. Unless people can test as soon as they arrive to a destination and get it back same day, testing beforehand, especially when some are traveling from out of state via plane, is useless – they can catch it in transit.
          I’m so sick of people saying “it’s okay to do this one thing since I’m burnt out”. No, it’s not because when everyone says that, we get to where we are now.
          I know this site is full of “focus on your mental health” and “everyone has their own risk level” kind of people, but that stems from an inherent snowflakiness that I think makes so many Americans weak (especially those from middle class or rich backgrounds who never had real adversity).
          People that are burnt out need to focus on building their resiliency, not weighing if a birthday party is important enough to risk uncle bob and grandma’s death. Americans are just so weak and impatient and this pandemic has showcased that to a T.

        • Anonymous

          None of my neighbours are acting like Covid never happened and pretty much everyone expects there to be some kind vaccine next year by late summer/early fall. Vast majority of our friends have turned 40 this year. We’ve just moved the trip we had planned to 2022. NBD.

          But, I get that people don’t seem to understand restrictions. BIL who lives in Europe asked why we are all wearing masks everywhere if there is no covid, and it’s like dude – we have no covid because we have quarantine and masks. And as a result life is pretty normalish other than the mask wearing.

          • Anon

            A lot of people where I live have been called back to work. No more work from home. I’m hearing attitudes like, if I have to get exposed going into the office, I might as well go see my friends too. They are completely ignoring that even if those friends have to go to their offices, you are now cross spreading germs between two offices.

            Now if the people work together anyway, fine. If you are exposed to someone all day at work, I don’t see the harm in further exposing yourself to the same people outside of work.

      • Anon

        I’m horrified by the Maine wedding, but I think an extended family gathering at a rental house is very different. Numbers matter a lot, and the risk profile of 10-20 people is completely different than 60+. For another, they’re presumably going to be sticking to their rental hour and outdoor activities, so they won’t be exposing servers, bartenders, florists, musicians etc. the way the wedding guests did. And the testing also makes a difference.

        • Cat

          This is how I feel, too. We are talking about 6 people who are being conscientious enough to test prior, not 60+ people along with vendors. OP, if you all commit to self-isolating after the weekend, your plan sounds appropriately cautious to me.

        • Aunt Jamesina

          But it’s also people staying in the same residence over multiple days and sharing many meals and possibly car rides versus a few hours together.

        • Anonymous

          Our Public Health Doctor says you need to think about – time, space and place when assessing risk. The place has less people but the space is more confined – house presumably with shared bathrooms and the time is way way longer. Less people doesn’t automatically make it lower risk. It’s also how you engage with those people.

      • Anonymous

        Here’s what bugs me about how we talk about the Maine wedding – blaming one event ignores the fact that a lot of people had to do a lot of things wrong to cause those 8 deaths. Most of the deaths happened in one nursing home/rehab facility where a wedding guest worked. Why didn’t the employer have adequate protections in place? I can’t go to the office unless I verify every day that I haven’t been to big events or traveled more than X miles of my home, and I’m just an office worker. Why isn’t everyone at the facility wearing PPE 100% of the time? Why did that employee feel like it was ok to attend a big indoor event and then go to work with vulnerable people? That employer and that employee were (at least) two lines of defense between the event and the people who died – and they failed too. They shouldn’t be let off the hook because it’s easier to hate on weddings.

        • Anonymous

          Yes, you are correct. There was a chain of events that transpired originating with the wedding, and by focusing on just the wedding we ignore the other weak links of the chain.

          For me, the failure is that we do not address the reality that exists and instead focus on what we’d wish people would do.

        • Anon

          Because you have to work to pay your rent. Employers in this country suck and our safety regulations are shit. That guest should not have attended the wedding, but first and foremost, it should never have been hosted. That’s the ONE event to blame here, not the fact that someone had to go back to work for probably minimum wage.

          • Anonymous

            No, the nursing home / rehab facility needed to have protocols in place to prevent spread. They are primarily at fault, not the wedding. Should the wedding have happened without observing protocols? No. But, people who work at that facility could have caught the infection multiple ways, some of which are considered safe or may be unavoidable.

            So really, the ONE place to blame is not the wedding, it’s medical facilities that don’t practice COVID 19 protocols. Fundamentally, the blame belongs on the government, medical establishments and people who would prefer to come up with things like “everyone stay home forever or at least until I feel safe whichever is longer” as opposed to how to we survive this virus in a world where people need to, or choose to, go out.

          • Anon

            Nope, blame the wedding. Nursing homes could have the best protocols in the world and people would still get sick because of the nature of the essential care that is provided. You can’t always be six feet away when you’re giving a patient a sponge bath. The difference is that one type of situation is essential and one isn’t.

    • Anonymous

      Unless you’re all going to get tested and then stop seeing people, including no day care, I doubt I’d bother.

    • Anon

      Can you rent separate houses for separate family units and do outdoor activities to celebrate?

    • anon

      To clarify – there would be 6 of us total, coming from 4 households. And yes, we would all get tested.

      • Anon in NY

        FYI, the NY residents technically need to quarantine for 14 days once they come into contact with the family members from any of the southern states on NY’s quarantine list. There’s no exception for negative tests.

        • Anon

          And unfortunately it is all honor system with no enforcement mechanism and we can’t trust people to actually do it.

          I’m one of the people that have been doing everything we are supposed to. My inlaws live in a southern state and literally leave their house once per month to go to Costco and otherwise have all of their groceries delivered. We are going to do thanksgiving at their house. Me, my husband and the two of them. We are going to drive straight to their house only stopping for gas/bathroom along the way. If I’m being perfectly honest, given that they lock themselves down and we won’t be going anywhere but their house, I don’t know if I will do a perfect quarantine when we return.

      • Anonymous

        Unless you’re going to test on arrival, quarantine for 5-7 days then test again, I don’t see how getting tested helps you. It just proves that you don’t have it at a certain point in time.

        Many of the covid tests approved in the US are not approved in other locations because they have such a high false negative rate. One that did manage to get approved in Canada got pulled in May because of the false negative rate. Places that relied on testing on entry like European countries are now seeing spikes in cases.

        • Anonymous

          This! I’m seeing so many people get together after testing, but all a negative test tells you is that you didn’t have COVID at that precise moment in time. Not that you didn’t get exposed sometime after.

      • Anon

        the test is only good for a moment in time. if your kiddo goes to daycare the week leading up and gets covid on tuesday, takes a test on Wednesday, the test might show up as negative because the viral load might not be high enough yet. kind of like how a pregnancy test works – you don’t test positive the second after intercourse that gets you pregnant. it is obviously all about your level of risk tolerance. are these people flying from a southern state for work, for fun? the only way to really make it safe is for everyone to quarantine for 14 days, get a test on day 14, keep quarantining until the results come and then go to the hamptons houses. and quarantine means you don’t go to the grocery store, you don’t go to cvs, etc. it basically means you don’t leave your property

      • Anon

        To clarify — no.

        Not now, not with testing, not ever in a pandemic.

        Do you know how many people have missed milestone birthday celebrations, let alone in-person weddings, births and deaths since March? You and your family are not special and not an exception. Don’t be selfish.

    • Anon

      In general any at home test is going to be less accurate than a lab-run test. I can’t find any info on the level of detection for the Pixel but I am guessing it is fairly high. This means that it really is only good at identifying COVID when the viral load of relatively high. So not really the best for identifying asymptomtic/pre-symtomatic carriers. The Abbott Rapid test has the same issue. And anytime you have a test collected and handled by a non-professional you are increasing the change of a pre-analytic err.

      • Anon

        Actually, the Pixel uses LabCorp’s RT-PCR test, just with at home collection. Other examples are Phosphorous’ at home saliva test, doing the same. There is a sensitivity differences between RT-PCR and rapid-antigen tests, but mail-in tests are almost all RT-PCR based.

    • Cat

      From browsing TripAdvisor and daydreaming, this is a common thing people do before flying – results seem to come back within the promised timeline of a few days.

      We are going to do it before seeing (small group- parents and sibling only- all from not-hotspots) family at Thanksgiving. All of us will be extra cautious in the 10-14 days prior (heaven forbid you catch it Saturday, test “too early” Monday so get a negative, but are contagious by Thursday, right?). After returning home, we will self-isolate just in case.

    • Anonymous

      This is not the time for different households to stay in a house together. That’s basically the most risky thing you can possibly do. Get your own accommodations and meet up for outdoor stuff. You can still hang out with family (outside) without needlessly exposing everyone.

      • Anon

        +1. I would MAYBE consider going to this meet-up. I would NOT consider sharing a house with anyone else.

    • Anonymous

      Please delay a year. I live in a area dependent on tourism and my county had to shut down just about everything after too many folks piled into the area for fishing season and brought new cases with them. We had to wait out a wave of cases and now are open again. Fortunately no one died as a result, but our local businesses did not need to get slammed again.

  14. anon

    I’m an extreme introvert and minimalist who doesn’t generally like “unnecessary” things like fashion, but at this point I really want somewhere to go, an excuse to dress up, and see other people in person. ugh.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have people you are seeing who might feel the same way? Or that you could FaceTime with? Maybe have a dress-up get together and do something “fancy” like mimosas or takeout by candlelight (at home or outdoors). Take a few pics to mark time or for social media. Bonus points for including children. I saw stories that some people did this at the beginning of the pandemic … maybe it’s more needed now.

    • Anon

      Porch happy hours. This has been my sanity since the pandemic started. It’s not formal wear, but we dress up in the same way we would going out for Saturday night drinks, bring our own fancy drinks or wine, and have a girl’s happy hour 10 feet apart on our own airy patios and hang out. Granted, I only do this with friends with similar risk levels as me, not the ones flitting about town as if it’s Summer 2019.

      • KS+IT+Chick

        We are doing driveway socials in our neighborhood on Saturday nights. Social distancing, BYOB, dress up if you want. Some come straight from playing golf; a couple weeks ago I was at an outdoor bridal shower for my niece so I was wearing a maxi dress and cardigan.

        It feels good to have the interaction. When the Kentucky Derby was run, the host made a big batch of mint juleps and put a station in the yard for each of us to pour our own, and we all wore hats. We are getting to know our neighbors, while still doing what we need to in order to stay safe.

    • Anonymous

      I totally feel you. My post-pandemic fantasy is to go to a cocktail party where I know no one. Unfortunately I think my social skills have atrophied in the last 6 months because I was struggling to make comfortable small talk with my neighbor.

  15. Anon

    Just a vent – I know I shouldn’t let internet randos bother me so much, even if they do get a NYT write-up, but I’m so upset by the implication that Ginsburg was a “white feminist” and that her landmark decisions were only intended to help white women. I just want to mourn and figure out what’s next without the not-so-subtle implication that you’re racist if you’re her fan. I know my own beliefs and am confident in the work I’m doing to advance racial justice but I just let things get to me this morning. Ugh.

    • Anonymous

      I’m really exhausted by being told I’m not a good enough liberal/supporter of equal rights. It’s incredibly alienating. How are we going to change hearts and minds if all we do is condemn people who are doing their best?

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. It’s like a communist party loyalty test out there. Before the landmark discrimination decisions and subsequent legislation none of us could get a credit card or a bank loan on her own.

      • anon

        +1. I will always have more to learn and fully realize that with my background I probably fall into the white feminist category, but damn, we have to start somewhere? I have a lot more to say about this, but I will refrain, lest I be accused of not caring about others, when that’s far from the case.

    • Anon

      I’m trying to find the article that you’re referring to with no luck. Link or title?

    • JTM

      I mean, it’s kinda true? Just a couple of years ago RBG said that athletes kneeling to protest racial injustice was wrong & they should stop. She was not perfect (none of us are, of course) and she had some work to do when it comes racial equality. I don’t think it’s terrible to note that, and it doesn’t take away from her legacy.

      IDK if you meant this, but I really hate this idea that no one can criticize a person once they’ve died. Death doesn’t immediately remove all your flaws, or bad decisions/opinions, and they can & should be discussed just like all your strengths & positive moments. RBG doesn’t get a pass now that she’s gone.

      • Anonymous

        “Just a couple of years ago RBG said that athletes kneeling to protest racial injustice was wrong & they should stop.” — Very shortly afterwards she also said that she was wrong, that she was not familiar with the context and should have learned what the protest was about before commenting. I wish most of our leaders were half so willing to recognize their own fallibility.

        She wasn’t perfect but she readily admitted when she made mistakes and tried to learn from them. I fail to see how her many accomplishments are diminished because she didn’t accomplish more in other areas. She was not active on the issue of racial justice but I don’t think that means her legacy is flawed. A lifetime of working hard to improve the lives of others should be enough.

        • Anon

          Obviously we can do both. How many articles praising RBG have you read? Surely you’re capable of holding multiple ideas in your brain at the same time?

          • Anon

            There’s that famed “elevated dialogue” we all come to Corporette to read. Well done, Anon at 11:45.

      • Anon

        She said Kaepernick’s national anthem protests were “dumb” and “disrespectful” and later apologized. I don’t see how that’s an extremely harmful incident – unless no alternate opinions are allowed on forms of protest?

      • Anonymous

        The athletes thing is really dangerous, opening up stadiums as a free speech forum means we can also expect Nazi style white power demonstrators. The ACLU thinks all speech has to be protected no matter how soul destroying it is to witness it and will be all over this.

        • Anonymous

          I don’t understand how the “athletes thing” is particularly dangerous

          • Anonymous

            There is a distinction in federal free speech law between public forums and private forums. The government cannot discriminate based on the content of speech in a public forum, which is why the Nazis can pull parade permits. Private forums like shopping malls and private sports arenas don’t have to permit political speech at all. And league rules can limit speech and acts as well. However, by voluntarily becoming a free speech forum, arenas etc. may up having to obey the public forum rules. That would mean giving the Nazis the same public access given to BLM protestors.

      • Anon

        She spoke about the protests without knowing anything about them which, yes, was dumb and a big insert-foot-in-mouth moment, but is not indicative of her actual views or actions on racial equality.

      • LaurenB

        I agree that RBG doesn’t get a pass now that she’s gone, but I also … just don’t see the point of the criticism. She focused on injustice towards women, not injustice towards other groups. Nothing wrong with that. The keyboard warriors aren’t accomplishing 1/1000th of what RBG accomplished, but boy can they feel good about themselves that they noted her as a “white feminist” and therefore get points in their Woke Olympics.

        • Anonymous

          So true, plus let me remind you that many of our revered civil rights leaders were sexist pigs. Filling the gap by tackling “women’s issues” was vitally important.

        • Marie

          Agree. RBG generally did so much good for groups who did not have the voices they should in this country, and she dedicated her life to actually *doing* the type of work people spending a lot of time talking about but not actually living in their own lives. I see some of these criticisms as an example of perfection being the enemy of good. Just because she was not perfect in every way (show me one person who was/is) or made mistakes, does not mean her work was not valuable. We have to stop holding people, especially women, to these impossible standards, where even when they live a life that objectively anyone should be proud of, they somehow need to be “brought down a peg” for not having been absolutely perfect.

    • Anon

      Ginsberg was a feminist full stop. Even if she personally had “white feminist” views, her legal decisions didn’t adversely affect non-white women. She was always so thoughtful in her decisions (whether drafting the opinion or the dissent). So I wouldn’t call her a “white feminist” in the sense that she didn’t undermine the advancement of non-white women. And calling that is a disservice to her legacy.

      • Anon

        “White feminism” is just a lazy insult now. If it can be applied to Ginsburg, it shows that it can be applied to anyone. The instant you examine her actual record (and not just critical tweets about her), it becomes pretty clear that there is almost no evidence to back up the claim. That being said, I’m sure that any white person who was born in her time has or had some racist views. I can only hope that most of them are as open to learning and study as Ginsburg was.

        • Anon

          Probably cause I’m old but I just can’t with the performative perfectionism. You can find fault with everyone. I know years back I got slammed for my views of feminism and intersectionality but I view all of the oppressed people the way I view different charities and causes. Just because you raise money for colon cancer doesn’t mean you don’t care about people with breast cancer. You can focus on policies that help all women and then focus later on issues that benefit non-white people. Or you can focus on the non-white people first and then focus on all women. It doesn’t have to be everything for everyone all of the time.

          • Anon

            I think there’s a lot of room to look at intersectionality from the get-go, but I don’t get the vibe that a lot of the people who are shouting the loudest ACTUALLY care. It’s performative like you said. It looks good to your woke friends if you’re the first to post “RBG dying is white women’s 9/11” so then they think you’re smart and edgy.

    • pugsnbourbon

      I think it’s possible that she can be both mourned and criticized. Ginsburg did make a pretty tactless statement about Colin Kaepernick’s protest (for which she apologized) and voted against the Oneida tribe reclaiming their lands. On the other hand, she voted in favor of the Coeur d’Alene and Yakama tribes in separate rulings (source: https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2020/sep/20/realization-in-ginsburgs-final-months-highlights-c/). And much of her work on women’s rights was, in fact, intersectional (https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/21/arts/ginsburg-feminist-backlash.html).

      I also think that people are seeing her as a figurehead of a justice system that is inherently flawed and racist. Not everyone is going to memorialize her the same way; some won’t at all. That doesn’t mean you or I are racist if we mourn her, but it’s worthwhile to listen to those who have a different response to her passing.

    • Anonny

      I agree so strongly. I don’t understand why these articles keep coming out, they don’t further the cause they just alienate people.

    • Anon

      This is the kind of attack they’d only level at a dead woman. You’d never find this kind of post mortem about a man.

      • Anon

        You can take out the word dead, I think. It’s only women who get accused of “white feminism” when men who are not feminists get to keep on with being ACTUALLY bad people forever. Why is there so much more criticism for RBG than there is for the men on the Supreme Court today?

        • Carmen Sandiego

          + a million to Anon at 11:58! “Men who are not feminists get to keep on with being ACTUALLY bad people forever.” Gah – exactly, and it’s so infuriating!

        • Anon

          It’s an age old tactic to pit women against each other to keep them divided. See e.g. Southern women’s culture. Resist that, ladies–let’s smash the patriarchy together!

          • Anon

            Not with a special insult. There’s no “white meninist”, although there should be.

    • Anonanonanon2

      Did you read the whole article? It ends up going counter to the “white feminist” thing. Read the whole thing.

      • Anon

        Yes, the article does and thankfully the NYT gets it right, but the OP was pointing out the different voices that led to the article being necessary.

    • Thanks it has pockets!

      I don’t think it hurts to understand intersectionality with regards to social movements and human rights, second wave feminism was primarily focused on white women’s issues and outright excluded queer and trans women and that’s important to acknowledge, but some people are taking things way too far. Today I saw on a FB story that she was not only racist but her work was “violent” towards people of color. Problematic, sure, but violent? Come on now.

  16. Solar

    Please tell me all your learnings if you’ve installed solar panels on your roof. I’m getting hit by such random quotes, and it is a lot of money but I keep going back and forth between doing it well once and just doing enough. So yeah that’s anywhere from lets go for tesla solar roof to meh let’s just get a few panels and get the tax credits. Help!

    • Anon B

      I am an erstwhile utility-scale solar PV developer but do not have direct experience with residential solar. That said, I’d recommend speaking with your mortgage banker about the impact solar panels would have on a potential refinancing your home, as well as a local real estate broker about her experience. Anecdotally I’ve heard of friction about trading in and out of a home related to panels, although lenders coupled with solar providers may well have resolved these issues by now.

      Panels themselves are basically a commodity. Tesla/SolarCity has done a better job with marketing their products, but almost any other provider is just as good. The really important factors are how the panels are set up on your roof to maximize production, and the site-specific best practice of keeping them clean so they perform at their best at transforming the available insolation into power. It would also be good to have an understanding of how to replace a panel or an inverter if there is a need to do so, from sourcing the parts to actual installation and testing. Inverters are just as important as panels to an array.

      Finally, when you receive quotes, ask to break down panel costs, inverter costs, other equipment costs, compared to labor and any other items. This breakdown will enable you to compare among the different vendors.
      What a cool project – good luck!

    • Anonymous

      I had friends put in panels but not install a battery a few years ago. We are in a rainy climate. This to me makes no sense. I think it was sort of performative environmentalism. The panels are really IMO ugly and are what you see all over a huge roof area from the street. And they aren’t getting that much free electricity from all that.

      • Anon

        Your friend is dumb for not installing a battery. But please stop with all the nimbyism on solar panels. That’s the primary reason they aren’t in wide-spread use. A bunch of sensitive suburban women saying “ew ugly, screw the planet I prefer to control what my neighbor’s roof looks like than support renewable energy”. Keep it to yourself.

        • Anon

          I don’t have either but am looking into getting panels. Batteries roughly double the cost of getting solar so I’m not sure it’s a question of “dumb.”

          • anon

            Our state had good subsidies for getting solar panels, but not for batteries. FIL had solar panels installed, but not a battery. Excess power gets sold back to the power company. He uses power from the grid when it’s rainy. My understanding is that this system works well in our area, when the heat from the sun causes a surge in demand. FIL lives in a large, leaky house and saves a few hundred dollars a month. It may not be perfect, but it will just pay for itself by the estimated time the panels need to be replaced.

        • LaurenB

          Is “suburban women” an insult now? Just want to make sure I’m up on things.

          • Anonymous

            It’s always been an insult, unless you are trying to whip up opposition to affordable housing.

          • Anon

            No, it’s a descriptor. Suburban women are notorious for their nimbyism and in this case it’s likely applicable having homes with big enough visible roofs involved.

          • No Face

            Lol if you think NIBYISM is somehow limited to women. My suburban neighborhood had a complete meltdown last year complete with incredibly long, subdivision-wide emails and insults over a minor issue. It was ALL dudes.

          • Anonymous

            You’re quite sensitive for someone who has made a hobby out of insulting others.

          • LaurenB

            Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to decry the NIMBYism among those women (or people) who are exhibiting it, than to stereotype that all suburban women must be NIMBY-ers?

      • Anonymous

        In many places you don’t need a battery; you sell the excess power back to the utility company.

      • WHATTF

        Lol the “panels are ugly” is literally the most superficial moronic thing I have seen on this board! Jeez no wonder Americans continue to be the worst contributors to global carbon pollution.

        • Anonymous

          IDK — I may have to sell my house at some point and I don’t want to wreck the value of it. My across the street neighbor would also not like to see it looking back at them. The way my house sits, the open western exposure is the street side. The east and south sides are shaded by another house and an evergreen tree. So if I could put them on the non-street side, I would have strongly considered it (rainy climate still makes it a questionable ROI and the battery thing isn’t cheap; we don’t have sell-back-to-the-system here). Friends oriented differently have done it and it is a net plus (or net break-even). It’s like painting your house purple — probably not great for resale and $$$ to un-do. Instead, I planted deciduous trees on my western exposure for not too much $ that grew quickly and now provide shade and lower our power needs when it is hot and yet lets the sun heat those rooms in the winter. So there is always low tech: trees in areas with adequate rain.

          • Jane

            Anonymous @105 you really need to educate yourself. It is NOT AT ALL the same as painting a house purple. Spurred by your comment I did a quick survey at my zoom lunch meeting, 100% of the people said they’d rather buy a house with panels everything else being equal! But congrats to the Earth, at least you don’t find deciduous trees ugly!

          • Anon

            Not true. There have been studies looking at the impact of property values if solar is added and it does not reduce the property value. Lawrence Berkeley Lab.

            “Many prior studies have suggested that solar adds to a home’s value, but they have often been limited in time range and geographic scope. Now, a team of scientists from Berkeley Labs, in partnership with universities and appraisers, has found that solar unequivocally improves the value of a home, on average by an amount of $15,000.”

            Search Impact of Solar on Property values by Lawrence Berkeley Lab to find the actual study.

      • Anon

        Batteries can be really expensive – I looked into it but it would have cost me more than $20k. It’s something you can add later but in the meantime you can sell power back to the grid so you still save. Disagree on them being ugly.

      • Anonymous

        I am in southern california, and installed solar in Oct 2018. We did not install a battery, as the lifetime is much shorter than the panels (10yrs vs 25 yrs). The installers also recommended against a battery, as it financially does not make sense.

        • Anon

          Lithium ion is the main chemistry used for these type of installs. The capacity degrades about 20% after 3000 cycles so if the battery is cycled once daily, it will be 80% of its original capacity in 10 years. People will use this as a stand-in for lifetime but it is not really correct because you can continue to use the battery after the 10 years.

    • Anon

      My personal belief is that don’t get a solar system if you think its “good for the environment,” get it if the economics make sense. There is a lot of information out there saying that having your own system is better for the environment but i don’t think that is necessarily the case. My background is in renewable energy consulting, economic analysis and grid planning.

      You have to basic options 1) You buy the system and write it off on your taxes or 2) you lease one from a 3rd party and have an agreement with them and they own and write it off on their taxes.
      Both of these should work with any net metering tariff in your state if it’s available. This is where the economic benefits are realized, the utility has to buy your extra energy when not being used at retail rates which is way more costly than what they buy at the bulk rates so effectively the utility and other ratepayers are subsidizing your system.

      Net Metering – There is debate if this is fair. Many utilities are trying to change it. It was needed to get the residential solar industry started but now it has been subsided long enough that it should be able to be commercially viable on its own. Net metering also means that rate-payers in your utilities system that are not rich enough to have homes are subsidizing those who are rich enough to have homes because all the ratepayers have to make up for the financial impact the utility having to pay you retail rates for buying your energy.

      CA is the only state that has significant battery grants in place (SGIP) and its significant. There are two overall ways to install a battery;
      1) Parallels with Grid: the battery saves power from solar panels and the house uses the power from the battery later when the utility rate is high. Your energy consumption and utility rates would need to be really high in peak periods and the system losses & the cost of the battery would need to be low for the economic to work out. This doesn’t make sense for most homeowners because the grid itself acts like a giant battery (because of the net metering tariff). The whole entire system will go off line when there is a grid outage. Incentive: the tax credit for solar will also apply to the battery if the battery is only charging from the solar. California has a grant program for battery SGIP. The grant is pretty significant which would could make the numbers workout. The main benefit of this is that it will provide you with some insurance that future tariff changes won’t have a big impact on your bills because the battery gives you flexibility. So don’t consider battery unless in CA.
      -Get quotes with both with and without battery if you are in CA (they should tell you the total cost and the grants that you are eligible for).

      2) Can Island/form a microgird to provide power when grid is out. The battery is installed and charged from solar. Your house will use the battery for power when utility rate is high (peak periods). Can get the tax incentives on battery if charged only from solar. Cost is higher cause of the system needed to make this happens. I think most installer are NOT providing this when they sell you a system with PV + BESS.
      -From what I have seen they just seem to be selling people a backup battery that sits fully charged till needed, kinda like a UPS. You can not get the CA battery grant with this set up, the grant is for battery that are someone

      Unless the Tesla solar roof is sold at a big discount, it is not worth it, regular panels are good enough.

  17. Sangria

    Does anyone have a recommendation for a sangria recipe that has both wine AND beer in it? I had one with pumpkin beer in it at a restaurant that had since closed and am trying to recreate

  18. Anon

    Curious if anyone is planning to attend RBG’s public viewing tomorrow or Thursday? I’m thinking about driving up from Richmond on Thursday.

      • Cat

        I’m willing to bet that the type of people that want to stand in line to pay their respects to RBG will be responsible with masks and distancing… and wouldn’t most of the time be outdoors to boot?

        OP, I’m unable to go, but hope that many others do!

  19. fallen

    thank you to the poster who recommended the orvis river road jacket. I bought it today! Also FYI if anyone wants to buy it retailmeornot has a bunch of coupons (got $50 off + free shipping) on top of the 15% for email sign up.

    • Anon

      Sweet! I was the original poster who recommended it :) Glad to see others liking it as much as I do.

      • Anon

        I’m the one who recommended it yesterday after seeing your recommendation another day. It’s great! Thanks for recommending it!

    • Anon

      How’s the sizing on that jacket? I saw the post yesterday and was intrigued, but I have struggled to find the right fit with Orvis.

      • Anon

        I’m the OG OP (ha), and I have a large. It’s fit me from sizes 8-14 on top (10-16 on bottom). It’s a bit big when I’m an 8 and I think it barely zipped/I wore it open when I was a 14.

        • Anon

          Just looking at the product page – I’ve always worn mine more relaxed than the first four photos show online; mine’s fit more slouchy, kinda like the last photo of the navy jacket. Mine definitely has that “borrowed from the boys” vibe. If you want a more ladylike fit, I’d follow the size chart. (According to the chart, I should have a medium.)

        • Anon

          Thank you! I don’t know if I’ll be able to pass up trying a stylish jacket that looks like it has actual functional pockets…

          • Anon

            +1 I bought this in the brown color a couple weeks ago, and it’s great. Nice fall-weight jacket, good color and cute lining, and tons of pockets. I also like the internal drawstring in the back that you can tighten to give the jacket/you a bit more “shape”. I am petite so I like my jackets fitted — I wear a 2/4 depending on the brand, and I bought the XS.

      • Anon

        I’m a busty 6-10 and bought a medium that fits me well. I don’t think I could wear a heavy sweatshirt under it. I’d go try it on again to give you a more precise review but my dogs will go wild if I put a jacket on. On second thought, I could take them around the block…. I’ll report back.

        • Anon

          Only thing I have to add is that I have long arms and the armpit is just a little snug. I’m 5’7″ but have a short torso and long legs/arms. I’m still glad I got a medium but if you have very long arms, I’d go w/ a large.

  20. Anonymous

    Tips for talking to the doctor about mental health? I have a physical tomorrow and want to bring up that I’m struggling. Specifically, while I’m meeting minimum life expectations, it’s hard to get up in the morning, hard to do anything around the house, and my procrastination is really a major work issue. I don’t feel constantly worried or sad but I do feel off. And I guess maybe that’s all I need to say? But if there are specific useful ways to start the conversation I’d love the support.

    • Anon

      “Doctor, I’m afraid I might be depressed. I’m not necessarily constantly sad but it is affecting my daily life and I can’t complete the things that I used to. Can you help?” That’s all it takes. I did this with my PCP and she was wonderful.
      More than likely, your doctor will ask you a list of questions to help diagnose or rule out depression and anxiety and you’ll go from there. Often they’ll start with a recommendation for therapy and/or low dose anti-depressant. You may not be depressed – I thought I was depressed and found out it was ADHD and low vitamin D. You should also request a blood panel to see if there is a biological basis for the way you are feeling.

    • Vicky Austin

      I’d say exactly what you told us: “I’m having trouble getting up in the morning, doing things around the house and taking care of my responsibilities at work. I’d like to look into some mental health resources/get a therapist referral/be evaluated for a prescription/[whatever you think might be most helpful].”

    • anne-on

      What you describe is very common among women – high functioning depression/anxiety – and there are SO many options to address it. I said almost exactly your description to my GP. I was very nervous to say it (what if she doesn’t believe me/tell me its all in my head/etc.) but she was very kind and started me on medication. The first one didn’t work super well but wellbutrin has been a godsend and I am SO glad I started it before the pandemic.
      If you live in an area that’s about to get colder/darker I would also highly recommend a ‘happy lamp’ (I like my Verilux) and vitamin D/fish oil. The happy lamp for 30-45 minutes AM and around the 3pm slump is amazing.

    • Anonymous

      FYI, I was chatting with my GP during an appointment and she said that about half of their patients are there for mental health reasons, even pre-pandemic. It’s a completely normal conversation for your doctor to have.

      • Anonymous

        I’m curious, do most people go to their GPs for this long-term vs as a starting point? I know someone who does probably because there’s less stigma. But I have a psychiatrist and she’s fantastic. Though my illness is a rare one.

        • Anon

          Most people don’t have or need a psychiatrist unless they have complex mental illness to treat or are unresponsive to the treatments suggested by a GP. You don’t need a psychiatrist if you suffer from standard depression and anxiety and take one or two well tolerated meds to treat them.

          • Anonymous

            Thanks, I didn’t know the norm. I thought maybe most got a referral. That’s good to know in case I need to lean more on a GP someday.

        • Anonymous12:08

          According to my GP, there aren’t enough psychiatrists to meet the need. (Should say, this was a conversation about the possible/probable future of telemedicine.)

    • Cat

      As part of my general exams, the dr now asks about mental health as part of a checklist of questions at the beginning of the appointment. That could be all you need to say what you wrote here.

      Best wishes for getting the support you need!

    • Alina

      What you wrote here in perfect. You don’t need some dramatic problem to ask about mental health, what you’re saying is all you have to say.

    • anon for this

      If you are me, you will say “I’ve been feeling off….” and then burst into tears, and then my doc took it from there. Helped a lot – it was hard to say the words out loud but worth it. You can do this.

      • Anon

        Ha, yup that’s exactly how it went for me. It worked though! My very kind and thoughtful doctor took it seriously and prescribed antidepressants and I feel so much better now, a year out.

    • Senior Attorney

      I agree that just saying what you wrote here would be perfect.

      Also, I would hope that all doctors would be screening for mental health issues at a physical as a matter of course, and especially in these trying times.

    • Shananana

      I don’t fully recommend my approach, but bursting out crying worked effectively for me… My doctor does screen for mental health during physicals though, which I think is pretty normal nowadays? Which made for a good opening.

  21. Vitamix-related gifts?

    My parents are getting my bro a Vitamix for his bday – what are some great gifts to go with it? Acai powder or hemp or something? TIA!

    • Aunt Jamesina

      They have a single cup adapter that makes it easy to make a smoothie and take it with you. Not sure I would go with buying him ingredients unless you know he’s likes them.

      • BB

        +1 to this if he is planning to make smoothies. The cups aren’t as easy to blend as the giant blender cup (ingredients tend to get stuck if there’s not enough liquid), but I love being able to just grab a big cup of smoothie off the blender and only have one thing to clean.

    • Anonymous

      Subscription to one of those smoothie kit delivery services? Smoothie recipe book?

    • Anonymous

      There is a vitamix cookbook that my husband loves. He cooks soup in ours — literally a one blender meal… it spins so fast that it heats things up! I don’t cook at all so this fascinates me. The cookbook gives you lots of ways to use it that you might not otherwise think of.

      • Vitamix-related gifts

        Oh wow — there are a TON of vitamix cookbooks! Do you remember the name of the one your husband loves?

    • Anon

      Maybe a recipe book and ingredients including acai powder or hemp or whatever that one of the recipes calls for.

    • DLc

      A bottle brush. I have a Vitamix and the bottle brush is invaluable to really getting it clean, especially when I let smoothie dregs sit in it all day.

    • anon a mouse

      A few cans of chickpeas, a jar of tahini, a bottle of nice olive oil and a head of garlic. Assuming he has salt on hand, his first production can be hummus.

  22. Anon

    ISO the perfect casual top to wear with leggings while WFHing this fall and winter. I rarely have to appear on Zoom, so I basically live in “nice” t-shirts. Do any of you have long-sleeved favorites? Thanks!

    • kk

      I really like the much-regaled free people ottoman tunic sweater. Size down a size or two- I’m usually a M/L and I have it in a S and XS. It’s stretchy, not itchy, warm enough but not sweaty, and if I have to open the door to the mail person, I dont look like I’m in PJ’s.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      It’s not a shirt, it’s a sweater, but I pretty much lived in Sweet Romeo crewneck sweaters from Nordstrom Rack last year. It looks like they don’t have the exact style I got, but it was most similar to the raglan sleeve crewneck sweater. I don’t dry them, but wash them normally and they hold up well.

  23. Anon

    There was a comment a few weeks back about what to have in your go bag. Anyone know what post that was?

  24. Anon

    Hi all of you who are good with brow makeup.

    I find my brows really matter on zoom (and maybe they always mattered but I wasn’t staring at my own face all day in the Before Times. ) I naturally have sparse brows. I’ve had them dyed before but it didn’t really make much of a difference because they’re dark enough, just not thick enough.

    In the morning, I apply some pencil to them and brush them out with a spoolie, but the color/filling in doesn’t seem to last well. I’m not sure why – I don’t really rub my face or eyes.

    What are your favorite products and/or techniques for natural looking but darker brows that last all day?

    • Anon

      I’ve been penciling in my brows since I was 15. I’m a dark brunette, but I have very sparse, fine brows that are barely visible. I used the same Lancome pencil for 17 years until they recently discontinued it. On a whim, I ordered this and really like it, especially since it’s long-wearing and only $4! I had a nub of a Lancome pencil left in the bottom of my bag and used it one day, and found that I actually preferred the Avon!

      https://www.avon.com/product/avon-true-color-glimmersticks-brow-definer-57692

    • Anon

      Anastasia brow wiz is a great pencil. I find that drugstore brow pencils are kind of waxy and weak. When you use the pencil, focus on getting the bottom line of your brow to be clean and well-defined (but still natural – obviously don’t draw a heavy, straight line).

      • Anon

        I love the Anastasia brow powder. I use a little angled brush. It looks more natural than my brow pencil to me and lasts all day.

    • anon

      My skin is pretty oily so I brush a translucent powder over my forehead and brow area to start. Then I fill in with the Anastasia Brow Wiz and brush out with the spoolie, exactly as you described.

    • Kitten

      I like pencils that have the spoolie brush on one end and I don’t really f*** with drugstore products. Anastasia Brow Wiz is my favorite as well but for some reason I go through it extremely quickly. I’ve been using Benefit Goof Proof and it seems to be lasting longer and works similarly.

      This is kind of specific, but I recently discovered that I was drawing the ends of my brows at too much of a downward angle–I do straighter brows now and it’s almost like I got a mini eye lift. I’d experiment with different shapes.

    • Anon

      I use the Nyx pencil which is a dupe for the Anastasia brow wiz. The colour doesn’t budget until I wash my face.

  25. Anonymous

    Have you tried the google trick of searching your keywords about the bag and “site:corporette.com”?

  26. Anon

    I don’t know why my post is in m0d, but I’m looking for the best long lasting brow products for natural looking brows.

  27. Little boy recs

    A dear friend just lost a parent, who had been living with her, and her other elderly parent is very ill. Friend is a single Mom, with a young son and working crazy hours on the front lines in the ICU. I hope she has a couple days off now…

    I am sending her some food. I want to send something for her son, who is a bright but very active (ie. will not sit still for remote Kindergarten class and needs constant attention). Any suggestions for something that he might be able to do on his own that is distracting, and might give my friend a moment to breathe?

    • Little boy recs

      Also, my friend is Jewish, not religious but culturally follows some traditions. This is her first big loss.

    • PNW

      Maybe some sticker books? I’ve seen some very active kids settle down for a few minutes to do some stickers. Get the kind that can be put on anything. Or some fridge magnet activities. They can stand there and do that for a bit.

    • Anonia

      Marble Run and Legos (preferably not a set, but just pieces that he can put together however he wishes)

    • Sloan Sabbith

      I agree with the other suggestions- something he can build and reuse, and maybe even knock down- he also lost a grandparent, it sounds like, and knocking things down seems like it could help him express those “big” emotions that he might not have the words for. We got a lot of use out of a set of wooden blocks with a bunch of different shapes. Melissa and Doug have a 100 piece set that looks like exactly what we had (and still have). It’s $60, which might be more than you want to spend, but he’ll be able to use them for years. Other ideas- Brio train sets, Lincoln logs, Knex.

    • Anon

      Some things my active kindergartener loves:
      – a drawing book with some colors (they may already have color pencils/crayons, you can try getting a box of oil pastels (in stick form, looks like crayons)
      – a sticker activity book like Nat Geo cool animals sticker activity, or Melissa and Doug reusable sticker pads
      – a rock painting kit (may need some supervision though)
      – magnatiles or open ended building set like colored jenga tiles (my kid doesn’t play jenga, just builds with it)
      – melissa and doug water wow – water painting book, non messy so less supervision needed
      – an easy stained glass peel and stick activity kit (I thought would need supervision but didn’t)

    • Anon

      I used to teach kindergarten! Here are some ideas for you:

      Outside toys: rope swing, ball on a rope (to hang from a tree or patio cover & hit with a bat), soccer ball & mini goal, kid-sized rake for raking leaves

      Inside toys: playmobil set, magnatiles, legos (assorted, not a kit with instructions), extensions to any building or pretend play toys he already has, magnet or felt playboard

      Creative toys: a box of low-mess but “special” art supplies (stamps, markers, stickers, stencils, erasable colored pencils, scissors that cut in different patterns, novel shaped hole punches, washi tape, blank greeting cards, blank postcards and stamps, scratch art paper), a boogie board or zen painting tablet, learn-to-draw book aimed at young kids, camera, lite brite

      Educational toys: a subscription to a kid magazine (Nat Geo jr, Highlights Jr.), purchase audio books he can ask Alexa/Google Home to read to him (Hank the Cowdog, Junie B. Jones, Magic Tree House), activity book with dot to dots/word search/coloring pages, a subscription to abcya if he has a tablet, snap circuits

  28. Anon

    I was listening to Pod Save America yesterday and there was an interview with the head of Take Back The Court, which is an initiative that seeks to rebalance the court by expanding it. The hope is that by expanding the court, voting rights can be restored and the extreme partisanship of the court and its confirmation process will end. I had always been skeptical of this, but having it explained made it sound realistic and necessary, and like this one seat isn’t “life or death” after all, especially if Democrats retake the senate, white house, and keep the house. Have you given it any thought?

    • Anon

      I think however you dress it up, it’s a partisan play. The framers of the Constitution put an odd number of jurists on the court to avoid ties. Increasing the number to, say, 11 from 9 just to put two jurists of your party on the bench I think totally destroys the idea that the court is supposed to be nonpartisan. Where does it end? 13, 15?

      The Senate’s long crowed about its traditions and its status as the “world’s greatest deliberative body.” Getting rid of the filibuster, getting rid of 2/3 votes…adding jurists to the SC isn’t going to make our political discourse any better. We’ll devolve even further.

      And here’s an excellent read on why the odds are long for Dems to reshape the court over the long-term: https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-senates-rural-skew-makes-it-very-hard-for-democrats-to-win-the-supreme-court/

      • AnonInfinity

        I thought that at first, but how is the Court not already packed? SCOTUS will have a 6-3 majority of transparently partisan justices very soon so the idea that it’s nonpartisan has long since sailed. Also, the number hasn’t been set at 9 forever.

        The Pod Save America episode solidified my view as well, OP. I’m in favor of taking whatever action is necessary to protect the right to vote for all Americans, and that’s not going to happen with the current Court + whoever is going to be appointed in the coming weeks. I also agree with that 538 article, which is why statehood for DC is important in the equation. And obviously I hope that ensuring voting rights will erode the conservative hold on the Senate.

    • Anonymous

      It’s called court packing, and it’s not a new idea. The downside is that it risks undermining public trust and confidence in the legitimacy and independence of the courts. And if one side packs the court now, in four or eight years the other side could further pack it with its own justices.

    • Anon for this

      I too listened to that episode, and while I wasn’t convinced, I softened to the idea. Two things stood out to me:

      1) the Republicans changed the number of justices on the court in 2016 when they held Scalia’s seat open for many, many months during the Obama administration. The court had to operate with 8 justices purely for political reasons. Changing the number of seats on the court has been done in the last five years. I don’t agree it was right for the Rs to do that, but it’s also an example of how Rs ignore the rules – and here Ds want to follow the rules (passing an amended Judiciary Act) and yet it’s seen as way too radical.

      Which is point 2) – that Rs have been disregarding the court rules for years. It was in 2013 that Reid had to get rid of the filibuster to get three Obama circuit appointees through. Rs were just going to let those seats go unfilled for purely political reasons. Rs have clearly shown that they are not participating in this process in good faith, which is why we will end up with a 6-3 court with a huge ideological bent. That was not the ideal of the founders, either.

      The constitution puts the details in Congress’s hands to adapt to the times. Let’s make it adapt (somehow – not saying expansion is the only answer) because what worked then doesn’t necessarily work now. Lifetime tenure may have made sense back then – justices actually stepped down to do other things, they took real retirements as they aged, etc. Now, it’s just a life sentence for justices unless they time their retirements “properly.”

      • OP

        So glad you responded! These are all very good points, I agree 100% I hope this idea becomes more mainstream

    • Anonymous

      The better idea, in my view, is to end lifetime appointments and/or impose a mandatory retirement age. Frankly I’m in favor of a mandatory retirement age for all politicians and federal judges.

      • Anonymous

        It’s not a “better idea” if it involves amending the Constitution instead of a legislative action.

        • Anon for this

          Yeah, I agree that lifetime tenure is a huge problem (across all levels of courts), but unfortunately appointments during “good behavior” is one of the few specifics about judges actually in Article III. Perhaps Congress could incentivize retirement in some sort of neutral fashion? Would also be interesting to require a minimum age, or minimum years of practice as an attorney, for appointment – that would at least limit the total number of years on the bench and prevent 60 year terms.

          • Anonymous

            As well intentioned as this comment is, this type of thinking is exactly the problem. We cannot fix this issue with thoughtful policy crafted to neutrally improve the quality of the judiciary. Republicans won’t have it and they don’t care. Republicans have been packing the Court with nominees who failed to even get a rating of “qualified” from the American Bar Association (which used to be unheard of). Republicans are literally confirming associate attorneys (who’ve never ever tried a case) to the federal bench because they are young and ideologue zealots.

          • Anon for this

            As I said, I’m softening on adding justices. This was merely a response to the idea that we can’t rely on term limits, because that would require a constitutional amendment. In addition to adding to the court, Congress could also consider additional measures to mitigate the lifetime tenure issue without amendment.

            I agree that the Rs have been effectively packing the court, and more importantly for the day-to-day, packing the circuit and district courts – that’s what refusing to seat D appointees is and appointing unqualified but young judges. I just think that only adding seats, without additional mitigation, won’t solve the whole problem of appointing 29 year old Fed Soc’ers.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve considered it and I am 100% in support of adding 2 new justices to the Court. There is nothing in the Constitution demanding 9 and only 9 Justices. Why must Democrats be the only people concerned about making our political discourse better? Why must Democrats be the only party concerned about slippery slopes or the long term? Newsflash: the federal courts are not independent and are extremely political. It wasn’t Democrats that made them that way. Democrats need to accept reality and should start acting accordingly. People’s fundamental rights and lives are at stake, I don’t give two sh*&s about preserving the legitimacy of the Senate. I’m done bringing a knife to a gun fight.

    • anonshmanon

      Regardless of the partisan issue, the US Supreme Court is pretty small compared to other countries’ highest courts. Given the population of the US, it seems reasonable to put this work on a few more shoulders.

    • Anonymous

      I’m so disillusioned by the last few years that I don’t think, as long as the senate is made up of two senators from each of the fifty states, that we’ll ever have anything but a minority of whiter and less educated people controlling the rest of us. The senate picks the court and white rural people pick the senate in in ways out of proportion to their numbers. Court packing won’t change that, it just gives them license to get more egregious when they’re inevitably in charge again. Statehood for dc and pr would probably do more to even the score and allow a better chance of the senate reflecting the values of most Americans. That said, I’m just not sure the senate works at all anymore.

      I’ve been having a lot of dark thoughts lately about the furture of this country. I understand the concern about armed and unhinged white supremacists and trump supporters. But the reality is there are more of us than there are of them, yet they control our government. They seek to limit our rights based on values most of us don’t share. They take our tax money and use it to prop up their faltering small state economies while contributing nothing to our states. They elect a president who refuses help to our citizens in times of emergency, letting thousands die and calling it a blue state problem. I think it’s moderates and liberals who are due for a rebellion: how long can a minority control a majority in a country that’s supposed to be democratic?

      • Anon for this

        Right there with you. Getting DC statehood has to be a key part of this – and it’s the right thing to do, anyway (I believe, as a moral matter, in Puerto Rican self-determination, so that’s a longer process that I admittedly know next to nothing about the practicality). I’m really, really hoping that this election is a landslide for the Dems, which I think represents the policy positions of the majority of Americans on the things that really matter now – economy, Covid, healthcare. I agree the Senate really isn’t functional anymore.

        Hopefully there will also be some relief as state legislatures turn more blue and undo some of the terrible gerrymandering and other disenfranchising methods, which will in turn allow for better representation in the Senate. But overall…I’m pretty depressed about the whole thing.

      • Anonymous

        I agree. I think that two new justices need to be added, right along with granting statehood to D.C. and Puerto Rico. The vast economic inequality in this county combined with the obvious disenfranchisement and erosion of democratic principles is a dangerous combination.

      • Anonymous

        That was the original point of the Senate. To let a minority of whiter and less educated people have an outsized influence.

  29. PNW

    Just a rant – one of my employees, a new grad who moved here for the job so is still getting his life business in order, went to the doctor this morning. Apparently he takes some medication and was running out so he got set up with the first provider he could get an appointment with. He was there for three hours and reported they were doing no Covid control procedures at all. A doctor’s office! The waiting room was packed, they were taking walk-ins, no masks required and no temp checks or health questions at the door. Horrifying. I hope now that he has his meds he can take some time and get in with a real doctor. He was masked the whole time and I know he takes things seriously so hopefully this won’t come back to bite him.

    Sadly we’re a covid capital here so the behavior of the patients doesn’t surprise me, but I would have really expected that even a scammy doctor would make a gesture towards following protocol.

    • LaurenB

      Can you report this doctor to whoever the state licensing board is? This is really horrifying to read.

      • Anon

        The employee as the actual patient could probably do that. I don’t know that OP’s reporting second hand information would do any good.

    • Anonymous

      I know it’s difficult in the moment, and I got stuck in my own DMV nightmare, but maybe this is a good reminder to walk away from these situations if at all possible. If it doesn’t look good leave.

      • Anon

        Doesn’t work when you are out of a needed medication and this is the only way to get it. Anyone whose ever been on a controlled substance knows the hoops you have to jump through.

  30. Hollis

    Paging Cat Socks – I saw you recommended the Cowin E7 headphones from Amazon. Did you get the regular version or the “upgraded” version?

  31. Washington Heights gift basket recommendations

    My inlaws and niece are traveling to NYC next week so that she can have a pretty significant medical procedure performed at Columbia. They are staying at a boutique hotel in the Washington Heights neighborhood near the hotel. Any recommendations for delivery of basket of goodies/snacks to the hotel? Only one parent is allowed on the floor with her at a time so they are going to need some comfort. Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      What about Zabar’s? Their website says they do local delivery for $35 (which does seem a little high), but it will be 1) good and 2) different and special. It may feel a little more vacation-like.

    • NY CPA

      What about Zabar’s? Their website says they do local delivery for $35 (which does seem a little high), but it will be 1) good and 2) different and special. It may feel a little more vacation-like.

    • NYNY

      Not sure how long they will be there, but some advice about the neighborhood:

      – Carrot Top bakery has really good carrot cake, and pretty decent muffins
      – If the weather is nice, there’s a pedestrian plaza on the medical center campus on Haven Avenue (north of the children’s hospital, if that’s where your niece will be) which is a nice place to sit and read
      – Malecon, on Broadway at 175th street, has the most delicious rotisserie chicken I have ever eaten, and is definitely open for takeout & delivery
      – There’s a farmer’s market on the medical center campus on Tuesdays, which will have baked goods as well as fresh produce like apples and cider
      – If they’re there for a few days and want to walk around when they can’t be with their kid, J. Hood Wright park is really lovely, and a quick walk up Haven Avenue from the hospital

      Zabars and Levain are both good options for treats to deliver to the hotel. Also, Mah Ze Dahr bakery is amazing.

      Hope the procedure goes well!

  32. Anonymous

    I have a credit card that I rarely use (Nordstrom). I received a letter stating that because I use it so rarely, unless they hear from me, they’re lowering my line of credit. This will affect my credit rating, right? Is there any reason not to call them and ask them to leave it? My credit score is good.

    • Anon+Probate+Atty

      I don’t think so, unless you have very few other credit cards. They’ll look at the amount of credit you’re using versus what is available to you. So if you don’t have a lot of other available credit, then it could hurt you some. But the fact that they lowered your available credit in and of itself should not constitute a bad mark against you.

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