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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 175 Comments · by

Coffee Break: ‘Phoebe’ Mary Jane Pump

Coffee Break

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sjp-phoebe-heelThis shoe has been around for a long time, and I don't think we've ever featured it in a Coffee Break. It was one of Sarah Jessica Parker's original styles, I believe, and I like the classic 3″ heel, the sleek look, the cutouts, and the grosgrain ribbon detail at the back. It's just a really good shoe, particularly if you're not great in heels or you want something to wear with tights. It only has 10 reviews at Nordstrom, but they're very positive, and it's still available in lucky sizes 6, 8.5, 9.5, 10, and 10.5. SJP by Sarah Jessica Parker ‘Phoebe' Mary Jane Pump Here's a more affordable option in a somewhat similar style, available in three widths in sizes 5-12. (L-all)

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Comments

  1. anon

    How can you tell before it happens whether seams/hems will fall out? Are there signs of poor construction that I can look for? I think I have average to low quality clothes compared to people on this board, and I’ve never had a hem fall out or anything like that. Still, I’d like to avoid it, especially as I’m becoming more willing to buy stuff at a higher price point.

  2. Brunette Elle Woods

    I need to get the zipper on only one of my boots replaced. What is the average cost for the zipper replacement? It is a mid-calf boot and the first place I went wanted to charge me $50! The boots cost $100 4 years ago so I’m not willing to spend that much on one boot. Is that what I can expect elsewhere?

    • Anonymous

      Eh, I find shoe repair expensive. Resoling my flats usually costs around $40 per pair. If you love the boots, I’d maybe call one or two more places that get good reviews to see if they’re any cheaper but I doubt the price will differ that much. $50 doesn’t sound that outrageous to me.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        Agreed, but if it’s a pair you really love, I’d do it. I’ve got a pair of black pumps that I don’t think were more than about $50 originally, but I’ve had them re-tipped and repaired multiple times for I’m sure more than they originally cost because they fit so perfectly.

        • Anonymous

          Totally. If it’s a pair you love, just pay it. It’s still cheaper than replacing them, and you’d be replacing them with something that didn’t fit as well/you didn’t love as much. I have a pair of boots I’ve had for 10 years that I’ve probably spent twice the original price repairing over the years. Worth. It.

      • lawsuited

        +1 Shoe repair is not cheap where I live. It costs me $50 to have a pair of shoes resoled, so $50 to replace a riding boot zipper wouldn’t surprise me. Shoe repair is really only worth is for high quality shoes that you like too much to try and find replacements.

    • AZCPA

      Where are you? In my LCOLA city I had a similar boot zipper replaced for $20. But I suspect this changes a lot by area.

      • Brunette Elle Woods

        I’m in a HCOLA, not at high as NYC but high. I always had a strap or the bottom of a heel replaced for $10-$20 so I was surprised at $50 for a zipper. It sounds like that is reasonable. These are decent boots but I got them at DSW so I might as well just buy new inexpensive ones, something I really wont care about ruining when the snow and salt come.

    • yes

      This is in line with estimates I’ve gotten. ended up having my mother do it by hand. My cobbler saw it the next time I had the boots in to be resoled and was so astonished by her work that he would have hired her on the spot. However, her takeaway was that $50 was a small price to pay given the difficulty.

  3. Appetizer for potluck party

    Hi Hive! Could you suggest some of your favourite appetizers that are easily transportable and low fuss? I need to bring one to a potluck party.

    • anon

      have you seen those Tasty videos on Facebook for “sliders” made with hawaiian rolls? They look pretty easy. I haven’t done them but thinking of making some for a party I’m hosting Saturday. There are all kinds of different flavors. I’m leaning toward the “chicken parm” ones using rotisserie chicken.

      • Anonymous

        Or if vegetarian, cheese and fruit. Grapes and apples are generally my favorites for pairing with cheese.

      • Anonymous

        Bacon-wrapped prunes are super easy to make and transport and are a nice addition to a cheese board

    • Jdubs

      Spinach dip in a bread bowl. Make dip at home, bring in a Tupperware (or the container of yogurt/sour cream used in dip). Cut bread at home, bring in a ziplock. Assemble there – no serving dish needed!

    • Anonymous

      Bacon wrapped dates! You can also stick an almond or goat cheese inside the date. Delicious, super easy.

  4. Lizzie

    HELP! ((I accidentally initially posted this to yesterdays post.. thanks Senior Attorney for responding!) I am new to a small/mid size west coast firm and it’s tradition to do some sort of performance at the Holiday party. It usually ends up kind of being a burn/roast of the partners (and very encouraged). In the past, people have presented it in all sorts of way. Like someone once wrote a “letter from camp” to his parents about firm life and roasted all the partners in the letter.

    It seems the normal route is just a poem/song and I will probably end up with that, but has anyone had to do something like this and have any more creative suggestions? I’m stressing.

    • anon

      Can you team up with someone else and do a skit? You and the teammate can imitate the partners. You could sing a christmas song with words about the partners. In my experience (having done lots of skits) nothing is funnier and more memorable. And at the risk of being politically incorrect/insensitive, having a guy dress up as a woman (particularly a very large guy) gets enormous laughs. I had the biggest, most booze-houndy guy in my office (originally from Boston, I think that says it all) dress up as the tooth fairy for a skit once and people were laughing so hard we could hardly do our lines.

      • Lizzie

        So many great ideas!! For multiple reasons I can’t team up with someone so it’s all on me. The Christmas song could be a really good idea. This would be so much easier/more fun if I had someone to do it with :(

    • Roast

      Yes, and it’s the opposite of PC. But the associates roast the partners (non law). This year we are doing a spoof on the presidential campaign this year, coming up with campaign slogans, posters, positions on “issues,” and each will have a “scandal” that they gets “uncovered”, etc. In the end we’re making everyone vote the winner.

        • Roast

          Completely outing myself here…. but past years have included: (1) Faux Facebook threads between partners about an array of topics, including some of the senior people “logging in” and evidently having no clue what FB is; (2) Dating game/dating app profiles; (3) a Yearbook with superlatives and club photos; (4) “Most Wanted” flyers for each person, calling out weird quirks, places they’d most likely be found/seen.

        • Terry

          My college paper published a cosmo-style horoscope for the college president each month. Reading a 60ish married college professor’s lucky love days and suggested outfits was pretty priceless.

      • emeralds

        Oh my God this would be amazing my office: our two leaders are just such specific personalities that you could go for miiiiiles. They’re both great, just have very distinct personas…I’m sitting here imagining the posters and scandals and cracking up to myself.

      • Panda

        We do this in my office and its always a huge hit. We come up with crazy award categories and everyone votes anonymously and then we award the winners at the holiday party. Everyone thinks its hilarious.

      • Meredith Grey

        +1 to Dundees. Call them up and give them a paper plate or something. You can pause for applause and kill time while you wait for them to get up to you to drag it out and give yourself a break between awards. If you really want to drag it out – I’d be all over trying to make it last an appropriate length of time without having to hustle for laughs the entire time alone – get a co-worker to be your “camera guy” and pause for a hand-shake picture with awardee and their award before moving on to the next partner.

    • Dulcinea

      Limericks might be easy….” there once was a partner named smith/Folks said he was not very swift/but clients still love him/for he does keep their bills trim/and so his butt we do kiss” Not very good but I only spent a few minutes on it. This way you have a template for each partner.

    • Anonymous

      This sounds stressful for a first-timer. If you do a poem, maybe you could do it with fun formats like haikus or a humorous sonnet, or something.

    • Scarlett

      It’s probably overdone by now, but in something similar at my old firm, a hit was a group lip syncing to the song “I’m billing time” (a parody of Cindy Lauper’s Time after Time).

    • Jules

      I’m late to the thread, hope you’re still checking. My tiny firm does something similar – the newest person (lawyer or paralegal) has to give a speech or performance, and it had better be funny. We’ve had parodies of the Night Before Christmas and the Twelve Days of Christmas with firm-specific references, and last year our associate did a speech as Bernie Sanders. The first year I had to do it – when I had only been at the firm for about three-and-a-half months – I did a Letterman-style Top Ten list, citing the top ten reasons to work at this firm instead of one of the others where I had an offer. I included at least one pointed reference to each partner.

    • Julia

      I’m late, but what about a Jimmy Fallon “Thank You Notes”-style skit.

    • Anonymous

      I’m so late- I hope you’re still reading. You could write fake partner reaction tweets to the show. This would work best if you have a projector. Put the tweet in the screen and give a few words of intro. One should be a fairly straight up parody of Trump’s SNL tweet, verbose partner has a stream of consciousness that spills over into several tweets, “hip” partner does snap chat instead, etc

  5. I know this is long but really need some help...

    Hi all,
    I’m struggling with something that I’m hoping the hive can help with, on a variety of levels. Apologies for length. For whatever it’s worth, I used to be a frequent contributor here and have dropped off.
    About two years ago I was hurt very badly when I was a pedestrian hit by a car. The worst of the injuries were in my leg and it took me about a year to be able to really walk at full capacity again. I used to be a serious runner, and running kept me sane and happy in my work, which can be stressful. As I recovered, I would make fitful attempts to run, and probably tried to ween myself off physical therapy too soon. By this past summer, about 18 months after the accident, I was in a lot of pain and struggling even to walk fully well. I moved from the Maryland suburbs into DC to be closer to work and farther from where the trauma happened, found a physical therapist who seemed to understand me and had some insights into what was wrong with my leg that my previous one hadn’t, and started making progress again.
    While I like the PT, her office is a disaster. I asked for an idea of how much each visit would cost me when I started, and I was told one thing. Then about two months in that changed, but they never told me that, but sent a bill to my house and told me the difference was retroactive to when I started. They accept my insurance but there’s a third-party arbiter for my insurance company of how many visits I should get, an arrangement I don’t totally understand. One day in November, with no advance notice, the office administrator called to say this company, Optum, had authorized no more visits for me until December. I could come if I wanted, but I’d be paying the full amount myself. I booked my next appointment last Friday.
    I went three weeks in November with no PT, and took a big step back in terms of mobility and stiffness, and even a little pain. I could barely run and started feeling angry and depressed. When I came out of the appointment to check out last Friday, the administrator told me that I had misunderstood. I wasn’t automatically able to have my visits paid for in December – it was just now possible for her to “apply” for more visits now.
    I was livid after months of what I see as her half-assed bookkeeping, and not standing up to the insurance bureaucracy for me. I said something like “I want you to understand that I was hurt very, very badly, and I need to work with people who understand that and advocate for me to get care.” She literally rolled her eyes and said, “everyone is in the same boat with Optum. They spoon-feed visits and don’t let you know until the last minute.”
    I left the office shaking, went home and it got worse. There was a letter waiting for me from what’s called a subrogation agent. The insurance company of the driver who hit me paid up, but the vast majority of the money was claimed by my health insurance company. I had a personal injury lawyer and he was an asshole, but I guess he did his best because it’s apparently legal and normal for my health insurance company to expect to get the lion’s share of the settlement money. I got 30%, he got 30%, they got 40%.
    My 30% was a decent amount but I’ve been in physical therapy for two years. I paid literally thousands of dollars for walkers, canes, mobility devices for the bathroom, heating pads, follow-up emergency surgeon visits, x-rays, copies of my medical records, etc. It makes me livid that the health insurance company, which accepts monthly payments from healthy people for years on the chance that they may be sick or injured some day and need to have medical care paid for, should get most of my settlement money. Their agent are once again asking if there’s a settlement they can tap. I sent a copy of the letter from my lawyer when we all agreed to the 60/40 split, but I also included a nasty letter saying don’t bother me again. But then I panicked.
    I was so upset on Friday that I’m a little ashamed to say I felt almost suicidal. I feel like all I’ve been doing is fighting and still making only baby steps toward what I want – which is to be healthy and whole again – and not only am I not getting any help, but I’m getting obstructed on multiple fronts. I’ve calmed down a little since then but I could still use some advice.
    First and foremost, it seems like I need to get a new physical therapist, one with a more organized office. does anyone in the hive have any recommendations for a PT in DC, one who’s empathetic and effective, but also efficient? I will obviously need to make sure anyone that I start seeing accepts my insurance, and I guess the lesson is not to see someone who accepts it via that Optum third-party arbiter.
    I’m also freaking out a little about the subrogation agent. I am sure that if anyone responds to this, it will be to suggest I contact the personal injury lawyer I used before. But I don’t think that’s possible. He was abrasive, condescending, didn’t explain the subrogation process until we were in the thick of negotiations, and I just don’t ever want to contact him again. I wonder if I should talk to someone about what my rights are now, but there’s no settlement money for which I could offer a cut, and I can’t afford huge lawyer fees. Does anyone know of any resources I could reach out to?
    Finally, I also think I could use some companionship and community while I keep trying to run. A lot of my struggle is physical, obviously, but a lot is mental. I don’t really have any friends here – this happened to me shortly after I moved to DC – so joining a group could be healthy. I reached out to one group, Capital Area Runners, that I found by googling, but they train pretty intensively and said my situation wouldn’t be appropriate. Any suggestions (and good thoughts) would be appreciated.

    • Senior Attorney

      Oh, my. This is all just awful.

      I’m afraid I can’t help you at all on the merits of any of it, but I want you to know I read all the way through and I am sending ALL THE GOOD THOUGHTS your way! And internet hugs, too. I hope things get better for you soon!

      • Ellen

        Yes, I second the Internet Hug’s of Senior Attorney. It is terrible when people can not drive and hit pedestrian’s. FOOEY on them. You are a member of the hive so you have all of us as your freind’s, even if only VIRTUAL. I suggest that you join on to Facebook where there are group’s for people who have similar issues. I hope you do great and report back to the HIVE that you are all over this in the next 3 months! YAY!!!

      • Samantha

        +1 No legal or medical/insurance advice here but I am appalled to hear your story and my sympathies are with you. Hugs! Hang in there.
        Second, is it possible for you to try to develop a substitute for running which gives you the same break/relief but is easier on your legs? Yoga maybe? Or joining a meetup group for a different activity? I know how it feels to have a hobby you love and get back to, but running seems like it is challenging in the immediate near term given your injury. You will get back to it! But meanwhile, can you pick a slightly different, yet active, interest that still gives you the sense of community you need?

    • rosie

      I am sorry for all that you’ve been through. That sounds horrible about the insurance situation and the settlement money. I had a great experience with Kelly @ Washington Wellness. I have to say, though, that I saw her several years ago in the first year her practice was open, and it’s since taken off (great for her), so if you do see her and like her, make sure you understand how much you would see her versus another PT there and expectations are clear. They’re in Metro Center.

    • Anonymous

      I am so sorry that this happened to you. I highly recommend Rose Physical Therapy in DC. They are absolutely wonderful! I never have an issue with bookkeeping or accounting when I go there. I can’t speak to how they’d handle your specific situation but I imagine it would be better than your current PT. http://www.rosept.com/

    • Anonymous

      Agreed. This sounds terrible and I am so sorry that you have had to deal with all of this. This isn’t my area of expertise but one question for you regarding the subrogation letter – did your attorney compromise your medical lien when you settled your case (get the insurance company to agree to take less than full value for the amounts paid out for medical treatment for your claim?). My understanding is that this is often done in PI cases. If so, and the letter from the subro agent relates to this treatment, there should be some documentation of the agreement to compromise. Make sure you have this paperwork so that you can present it to the subrogation agent. If it relates to treatment obtained after the settlement but that relates to injuries suffered in your accident then I do think you need to contact an attorney in your state to see what your rights are. Sending very good thoughts your way from one internet stranger to another.

      • Anonymous

        This, and you might check your state’s insurance laws. Some states do not allow subrogation claims by private insurance companies on certain types of personal injury settlements, but insurance companies use third party administrators for subrogation rights (Rawlings Group is one example) and they’ll just routinely send out letters whether they’re actually entitled to subrogation or not (or think they can make an argument for it). Also your lawyer sounds terrible and if you think he actually did something wrong (such as settling your claim and not properly advising re subrogation…) it might be worth a call to the state bar complaint line.

        • anon

          Beyond checking the state department of insurance website (which is good) I’d call their consumer line. They should have resources to help you.

    • Anonymous

      So sorry you were injured and that you continue to deal with all of that stress and pain! I don’t have a response for the legal issues or the PT, but they are plenty of ways to join a group. Try meetup.com and pick a group that meets your interests, become active in your alumni association (including going to events, bar crawls, game watches, ect), junior league, church groups, volunteer. I like volunteering at an animal shelter because animals make me happy, but there’s plenty of different charities that usually have events planned by young people every few months that would be good for meeting people.

    • Anon

      I am so sorry. First, re: PT recs — I really liked Arthritis & Rheumatism Associates. They’re in Farragut. Second, I have similar struggles trying to run again after a traumatic event. I have finals now, but if you’d like to reach out in January I’d be more than happy to meet up. You can reach me at cassiewassie3@gmail.com

    • Anon

      I am so sorry! For pt, have had fabulous experiences with NRH Medstar outpatient. Multiple locations — I have gone to K Steeet, 19 Street, and a VA location. Hugs to you.

    • anon

      Since you’ve been in PT for awhile, can you not do the activities at home? I get that some stretching and other aspects might require a second person, but it seems like you did not do anything in November?

      And while it might not fix your problem, I’ll share a subrogation horror story. A friend’s child died when she was hit by a car. Since she wasn’t in a cross walk, the person who hit her – his car insurance company made the parent pay for the damage that his dead daughter “caused.” The company was going to get the parent’s license suspended if he didn’t pay up… Subrogation is so messed up

    • shopping

      I’m really late in replying, and have no legal expertise (I’m surprised you didn’t get more suggestions in that area on this blog), but I can say that I’ve had a doctor really go to bat for me (my kid, actually) with an insurance company. If you are still hurting, it is totally legit to make another appt with the same practitioner and get a new script for PT. Tell the doc the issue you’re having and ask how they can help.

  6. housecounsel

    I feel like I’d destroy those shoes in one trip to Starbucks and back on city streets.

    • Snick

      Or break an ankle. I can’t do that kind of heel, even at 3″. Also, do people wear this kind of shoe with tights? I think it would look weird with the open sides.

      • Anonymous

        Agree re open sides. I tried on a pair of d’orsay flats with my tights this morning just to see and it … looks really weird.

      • pugsnbourbon

        Agreed! I’m sure somebody can rock this look, but I either do booties or plain, solid pumps with tights.

    • Natty Boh

      Go to Annapolis. Seriously. I lived in Bmore for a long time, and it’s charming and quirky and I loved it for what it was, and even what it wasn’t, but there’s not a heck of a lot to “do”.

      • Baltimore

        So I actually do live in Baltimore, but I’ve never really done any of the touristy things so I was looking for suggestions on types of “tourist in your own city” things

        • commenter

          duckpin bowling! If you’ve never been to patterson bowling on eastern it is so great. I’ve never been to mustang alleys but I’m sure it’s delightful as well.

    • ohc

      Eat at Woodberry Kitchen! I know restaurant industry people in both Philly and DC who regularly cite it as their favorite restaurant. AMAZING.

    • Jitterbug

      Go to Illusions Magic Bar on Friday or Saturday. Call ahead for a reservation if you wanna see the show, it’s pretty great.

    • MargaretO

      This might out me but check out red emma’s (don’t live in baltimore, still always manage run into someone I know when I go), they are a great leftie book store/cafe and also have interesting events happening there. If you are so inclined!
      I kind of agree with Natty Bo above that there is not a lot to do in Baltimore but if you are from a “sleeker” city you might enjoy just hanging out in a grittier place, going to dive bars, quirky neighborhoods, etc. I say this as a person who lives in a similarly “gritty”and unique place which I love, and I also love Baltimore and visit whenever I can. It’s just its own special little cultural bubble, sort of like how New Orleans is totally different from anywhere else in the US. If that is your thing then just hang out and enjoy! And definitely eat lots of crab.

    • commenter

      The Baltimore Museum of Art is actually really nice – you can walk around the Hopkins campus and there’s a new food hall called R House that is opening (today I think!) within walking distance of it. Second the suggestions of the American Visionary Arts Museum and Woodberry Kitchen. The Christmas lights are up in Hampden as well which are kind of fun to stroll through (walking around in Hampden in general is kind of fun – you can just stroll up 36th street, stop in at Trohv, get ice cream at the Charmery, etc.) The Walters Museum is underappreciated. There are usually interesting things going on at the Creative Alliance. You could go see the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, which is really great and usually a good value as far as ticket prices go. Go have crabs at LP Steamers in Locust Point. Walk around the harbor. Walk around Bolton Hill, get lunch at On The Hill and eavesdrop on endearing MICA art students. See a movie at the Charles Theater. Go to Charm City Meadworks. Or just settle in to one of a hundred charming dive bars and chill out. I could go on and on. Annapolis is lovely but rest assure you can absolutely fill a weekend (or week, or month) in Baltimore.

    • Emmy See

      Have you been to the Pratt library? It’s gorgeous. I would also always recommend the Maryland Science Center, which is intended for children, I guess, but it’s still wonderful. Also the Zoo and the Aquarium. The Aquarium has pay-what-you-want days, but otherwise these (not the library) are kind of pricey. (I’ve only been on homeschool discount days.)

      • pugsnbourbon

        I’ve only been to Baltimore once, but I loved the Walters museum and Brewer’s Art.

      • Anonymous

        The aquarium is quite pricey but it’s beautiful and gives you a lot to do for hours! I wish I could go more often.

    • Pears

      Grab a drink in Fells on the Harbor. Go to Akbar’s or Woodbury Kitchen for dinner and Brewer’s Art for drinks. Walters, BMA, American Visionary Art museums are all great. See if the Peabody Conservatory is having any concerts. Go to Remington for super hipster vibes. Go to Hamden for adorable shops. I miss Baltimore!

    • shopping

      IDK if you’re still reading replies, but my son and I had a great time in B’more a few years ago. Most memorable part was totally touristy, but we loved it –an evening “tattoo” ceremony at the Fort. We took a boat over and back for the full experience.

  8. Salads

    I’ve been trying to eat more salads and I’m boooooooooored. I’d love yall if you gave me some inspo and shared your favorite salads (for any and every season!)

      • lawsuited

        Yessssss. Sweet potato (warm), steak (warm), baby kale, baby arugula, feta and fig vinegarette is soooo good.

    • emeralds

      Assuming base of greens, I rotate between: carrot, apple, and butternut squash cubes with chickpeas; roasted beets and goat cheese; peppers, sliced cherry tomatoes, carrot, and black beans; cherry tomatoes and goat cheese. Will be following this with interest since I’d love to add a few more into the rotation!

    • ohc

      Smitten Kitchen’s squash and lentil salad is on heavy rotation in our household at this time of year: https://smittenkitchen.com/2010/10/spicy-squash-salad-with-lentils-and-goat-cheese/

      Agreed with Anonymous above about sweet potato. My regular lazy dinner from September through April is roasted sweet potato, roasted garlic, sauteed kale, and goat cheese. (This will totally out me if there are friends on this board. Hi guys!)

      Also, my go-to potluck salad is a riff on tabbouleh: 1 cup quinoa, 1 bunch chopped kale, pomegranate seeds, and a dressing of 3 T lemon juice, 1 large chopped shallot, 2 t toasted cumin, 1.25 t kosher salt, and .5 cup good olive oil. The kale is so hardy that it’ll keep for a few days in the fridge if you want to make a bunch for yourself.

      (All my comments today are about food. Hmmm.)

    • NY CPA

      I love combining grapes split in half with spicy roasted broccoli and almond slivers.

      • Anonymous

        I feel like a food dumbo, but I can’t even imagine what that tastes like! I guess I’ll have to try…

    • MargaretO

      Anything with chopped up cucumbers and tomatoes with lemon juice, olive oil, and salt/pepper as the base. I add so many different things to this – bell peppers and/or carrots chopped in similar shape and size, croutons, pita chips, parsley, baked/roasted chickpeas (I like to make them with sumac), quinoa. It is so simple and delicious, but my one caveat is that it really only tastes good if you invest in high quality ingredients – nice olive oil, always use fresh lemons for the juice and freshly ground pepper, baby cucumbers instead of large sized, etc. I eat a variation on this at least once a week, often with tahini and some bread on the side if it isn’t bulked up with quinoa or something. If you’re bored I generally encourage you to take the middle eastern approach to salads and think about options that are not greens based! If you look into Palestinian/Lebanese/Sephardic Jewish food you’ll find lots of inspiration. I can recommend cook books if you’re interested!

    • Anon in NYC

      One of my favorites, from Sweetgreen is the curry cauliflower. I get this over a bed of kale, but I think it would be equally good with spinach or mixed greens. When I make it at home I generally omit the quinoa because I’m lazy. I sometimes like to add spicy broccoli to the salad. The ingredients are: roasted curry cauliflower, warm quinoa, roasted chicken, hot chickpeas, cilantro, raisins, red chili (like sriracha), cucumber tahini yogurt dressing. SO good.

      I haven’t had one in ages, but now I think this needs to go into my dinner rotation for next week!

    • salad hater

      adding deli meat makes a world of difference for me. I normally just rip up a few pieces of turkey (or if it’s a special day, prosciutto) and throw it in my salad. Makes them way more enjoyable for me. My go to is turkey + blueberries + goat cheese. Alternatively, chicken + strawberries. If I really need the motivation, I’ll sometimes add granola, not great for you, but I figure a little can’t be that bad if it gets me to eat a salad.

  9. Saggy Jeans

    I recently bought a pair of jeans (expensive ones!) for the first time since before jeans with stretchy fabric became the norm. I really like they way that they look and feel, but I find that they will not stay up when I’m walking around. I’m constantly needing to pull them up, and it’s pretty annoying. Is there any sort of fix for this? I’m sure that they’re not to big, but maybe tailoring the waist would help? (The rise is on the low side, as I usually prefer it.) I hate wearing belts. Is there anything else that might help?

    • AZCPA

      I suspect this means they are the wrong fit or size. I’ve found my pants do this if they are too tight in the legs, others have this issue if they are too short in the rise. It wouldn’t hurt to talk to a tailor to see if they suggest a solution.

    • Anonymous

      This can happen with low rise jeans, and varies with pant cut and size of your booty.

      I have tailored the “waist” of my low rise jeans so it drifts down less. This is pricey and can cost up to $50 for jeans.

      I recommend a belt (there are cute belts) or buying a slightly higher rise.

        • Saggy Jeans

          Hand sew darts as in do it myself? That’s really appealing to my general sense of frugality. Is that doable for someone who has no sewing skills?

          • Anonymous

            I’ve done it my pinching a fold in the waist and sewing it down to the inside of the waist. I’ve done it with two folds in the back (centered over the pockets) as well as over the side seams. Not pretty, but it gets the job done.

    • Snick

      This happens to me and I get them taken in at the waist. My tailor charges about $20, not a HCOL city.

  10. emeralds

    Hail Mary: anyone have a tasty way to dispose of a Costco-sized pack of blueberries? I impulse-bought some over the weekend and have been snacking on them, but I feel like I’ve barely made a dent and don’t want them to go bad. I’m a good cook but can competently bake exactly two things (apple crisps and chocolate chip oatmeal cookies), so I don’t want to have to buy a ton of specialty ingredients that I’ll never use again.

    • Anonymous

      Freeze them. Put a cup or two in a freezer bag and lay it flat on a cookie sheet until they are frozen. (so they freeze individually and not in a clump.

      Make blueberry muffins and freeze them to use – if you’re not a big baker you can just buy a packages muffin or cake mix and stir in the blueberries gently at the end. Toss blueberries in yoghurt or on icecream

      • Baconpancakes

        Yes, this. Freezing them on cookie sheets is vital to avoid them clumping. If you’re a cook, there’s always blueberry pie! Lynne Rosetta Kasper recommends cooking at least half of them down to get rid of some of the water before putting them into the pie.

        • anon-oh-no

          I always buy pints of blueberries in mid-summer when they are about $1 a pint and I literally just stick the pint straight into the freezer. they stay good all winter and never have any clumping. I’ve been doing this for years.

          • Anonymous

            You mean that when they are frozen you can still take the blueberries out one at a time? Or that if defrosted, they don’t stick together? I often drop individual frozen blueberries into pancakes when they’re on the griddle that’s why I hate it when they clump.

            I’m fascinated that this works so well as it would save me tons of effort. We pick our own gallon fulls at my parents cottage, so maybe it’s slightly different with store bought varieties (not sure if they are different kinds) ?

        • Meredith Grey

          Baconpancakes you just blew my pie-making-mind with cooking down the fruit. I dunno why I never thought of this!! My berry pies are always sooooo watery! ugh!

          • Baconpancakes

            Lynne is my guide and teacher in all food-related things. She has much knowledge.

    • Betterandbetter

      Could you puree it all and then just freeze it to use in smoothies or cake batter? Or even give it a whirl in your cookie batter?

      • Anonymous

        +1. I always cook extra berries that are slightly past their prime into compote. Goes great on oatmeal, pancakes, waffles, French toast, or yogurt. You can even freeze it.

    • Anonymous

      I love them in salads and as a sauce ingredient for chicken, pork or duck. I know I’ve done this before for all of those meats but can’t really remember an exact recipe so I’d probably just google it.

      But agree with others re just freezing them. Once frozen you can put them in smoothies or uses them in sauce as above at your leisure.

    • rosie

      Freeze them for future use in muffins, smoothies, crisps, etc. Or make freezer jam (pick up a box of pectin and it will have a recipe for it, store in plastic containers in the freezer until you’re ready to use, then store in fridge just like open jam), which is easy even if you’ve never canned before (and doesn’t require time/labor intensive processing). Or throw them into a crisp now.

    • anon

      I never have too many blueberries but I often have too many plums or lemons, because I have those trees. My method for using up a lot of fruit is to make a liqueur. It’s super easy and just needs to sit around for a long time.

      http://allrecipes.com/recipe/20574/vodka-blueberry-liqueur/

      Then you have a nice liqueur to sip on before or after dinner, or to put over vanilla ice cream.

      (I also make jams and jellies, but it sounds like you’re not into that)

  11. Cat

    London — thank you all for your input the other week about visiting in winter!

    Getting serious about booking in February but am overwhelmed by which neighborhood to choose (there are lots of options on Airbnb alone…). What would you recommend for a 30-something couple, first time visitors, NOT wanting to be in the midst of a late-night “trendy” area (we’re more good food, wandering, pop into museums/shops types), but wanting to be close enough to a versatile tube stop to be able to get around with minimal fuss?

    • Scarlett

      The last time I was there I stayed in Notting Hill, which was just absolutely charming. Tons of shops and restaurants but it didn’t feel like it was the club neighborhood or anything like that. There’s a tube stop there & it was also easy to Uber around. I’d stay there again and recommend it.

      • Snoozy

        I nearly always stay in Bloomsbury. Perhaps not great for good restaurants – though there’s some if you look – but it suits the rest of your list. (I personally don’t find Notting Hill that convenient, but it depends what you want to do. Lovely neighbourhood, though.)

        • Scarlett

          I should have qualified that it’s not super close to a lot of the tourist things, but with a tube station & uber, it was pretty easy to get around still & didn’t feel isolated or tough to get where we needed to be. I also tend to try to avoid “downtown” type areas and like a little more out of the way spots.

    • Anon

      Islington especially around Angel. It’s not touristy at all but has a ton of great pubs, cute shops, and very convenient to central London/the city.

      • Anon

        I think Bloomsbury is really urban and less charming. Notting Hill, Pimlico, –anything along the top of Hyde Park would be good. Angel is great (that’s Islington).

    • techgirl

      Maybe Chelsea? I personally like to stay in Regents Park and Gloucester Road areas when travelling for work where I’m looking for somewhere I can tuck myself away but still have access to shops and restaurants and transport.

  12. Jitterbug

    I had an interview today, and it went really well! Now there’s talk of a second interview maybe next week. I wore a pretty boring, conventional outfit: grey sheath dress, black blazer and sensible black pumps. It’s kinda my go-to outfit and since I work in the tech startup world I don’t currently anything else like it. I have some other decent interview outfits but that’s basically the best one, could I get away with wearing it to a second interview? Would anyone notice or care? I won’t need to dress like that if I get the job, the environment seemed pretty casual.

    • Cat

      So this might be s3xist BUT… were your interviewers men? They are generally way less likely to even notice a candidate’s outfit, generally speaking.

      I’d wear the same dress and jacket but mix up the shoes/accessories.

    • Anonymous

      Do you have a navy blazer and another pair of shoes that would go? I think with a different blazer and a different pair of shoes it’s a sufficiently different outfit that you can get away with it.

  13. Anonymous

    Question for any large and lovely ladies out there:
    Does anyone have any advice for dating/how to meet guys (specifically in NY)? Even through dating websites, etc. I’m having a really hard time finding any guys I’m remotely interested in who would even consider dating a plus size woman. Anyone have any success stories they care to share?

    • Scarlett

      This will sound shallow, but please don’t take it this way – if you’re checking boxes online where you self-identify as plus-size, I’d suggest not doing that. I found that a lot of men have no problem dating plus size women, but they don’t search for it online, so if you’ve checked the box, you’ll fall out of the search parameters.

  14. Emmer

    I work in a casual office. I just learned that I will have 2 client meetings with very traditional New York business (think finance and biglaw) in January…when I’m 7 months pregnant. I don’t own a maternity suit and don’t want to buy one for these two occasions. I have a nice wrap dress I can wear – do you think the clients will be understanding? I’ve seen advice to wear a blazer open over a dress but it looked very silly when I tried this – the blazer material looks far too formal with the silhouette and fabric of my dress.

    • Anon

      I think you can get away with not buying and wearing a maternity suit, but you can’t get away with not wearing a blazer. You need some sort of dress and blazer combination, so maybe that means you buy a new dress and wear with your existing blazer?

      I could also just be biased, though, because I think wrap dresses always look a little bit like a bathrobe.

    • Lyssa

      I agree with Anon above that you need a blazer. When I was litigating and pregnant, I generally wore a standard suit jacket with a maternity dress; while the fabrics don’t “go” exactly, I think that this easily falls into the pregnant women get a pass category (I also recall that Motherhood Maternity had a couple of really cute suiting-type dresses, so you could check there. They were cheaper fabric than my usual suiting-type dress, but I think that they would have worked fine.).

      But my best outfit was a gray maternity pencil skirt with a nice maternity top and a black blazer, open. I felt like it make a world of difference to my general sense of being put together when I switched back to separates from swingy maternity dresses for so long. It was very close to being in a suit, IMO.

    • Meredith Grey

      I have no experience with this, but were I a client and saw someone I contracted sitting across the table from me 7 months pregnant, in my head I’d be marveling at how she got herself to work and brushed her hair (presuming you do this). A simple wrap dress paired with a 7 month belly would be fine by me… F the blazer!

    • Govt Mule

      I think most reasonable people would be understanding, but not everyone is reasonable.

      For a blazer that is not really fancy, but it works with dresses – go to Kohls (online) and look for the LC Lauren Conrad Ponte Blazer. It’s $40 on sale right now and in a bunch of colors. I have a few of these to layer with dresses.

    • anon

      I think you should do maternity separates with a non-maternity blazer. A skirt and a top will look better than a dress with a blazer. Wear a long necklace or a scarf inside the blazer and you will look plenty put-together.

      I actually had a couple of full on maternity suits and I loved them. No sucking in my gut!

      I had to present a proposal to a board twice while pregnant, the first time at 5 1/2 months and the second time at 8 months. I wore my best maternity suit to both, but with the strings on the back of the blazer pulled tighter at the first meeting, of course. When I walked into the meeting at 8 months, the two female board members smiled at each other, and then one said, “we were pretty sure you were pregnant at the last meeting, but we’re really sure now!”

      I didn’t get the deal but I’ll always remember that meeting! It was a great way to break the ice and address the elephant (my belly) in the room.

      • anon

        Oh, and I got to use my favorite joke too. One of the men said, “Do you know what it is?” and I said, “my doctor’s pretty sure it’s a baby.”

        Huge laugh.

    • Anonymous

      I have always worked in big law, although I am not a litigator. I did not buy a maternity suit. On a couple of occasions, I wore Gap maternity pants with a non-matching blazer and top. I also found that coupling pearl necklaces or nice scarves with otherwise plain and somewhat casual dresses helped to up the dressy factor. You are not going to court, and no one really questions the wardrobe choices of a very pregnant lady.

      However, I am also the person that wore Converse sneakers every day in the last month or two of my pregnancy with my knit dresses. Once I had a partner in another department comment on it in an elevator saying, “Are you wearing red Converse All-Stars?” My answer was, “Yes.” Stupid questions deserve stupid answers.

  15. Jdubs

    Any recommendations for good books you have listened to recently as audiobooks?

      • Anonymous

        Ah, I loved this book and I love love love Edward Herrmann. I have got to listen to the audiobook!

    • LHW

      Yes Please by Amy Poehler and Bossypants by Tina Fey. They are narrated by the authors which makes it SO much funnier. I also really enjoyed The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah and The Goldfinch by Donna Tarrat.

    • Betty

      I’m an avid audible listener. Here are my recent (to me) favorites: 2 am at the Cat’s Pajamas, Happiness for Beginners, Bitter is the New Black, The Lost Husband, Year of Yes, Animal Vegetable Miracle, Searching for Sunday and Mating in Captivity. I’m delving in “The Great Courses” Series because I blow through books so quickly.

      • Betty

        I should add that my criteria generally are that I don’t want to listen about tragic events, down things, or heavy books about heavy topics. I’ve got plenty of that in real life, and I read/listen for an escape.

  16. Miz Swizz

    Gifts for my team question. I’m supervise two full-time workers and have gotten them each a giftcard to a store I know they like. In addition to that and a nice note, I’d like to get them some sort of consumable gift. How do you discreetly get someone to tell you their favorite candy/lip balm/condiment, etc?

    • Anonymous

      That’s sweet. Other than rifling through their desks (kidding!) maybe you could mention your difficulties with a certain lip balm/condiment and ask for new recs.

    • anon

      You don’t – you’re overthinking this. Get something generically nice (good quality chocolates, eos or burts bees balm set, whatever) and call it a day.

  17. Gift help!

    More gift help please! I have to buy something for a family member who we don’t see very often and don’t know all that well. Budget is about $25. She is in her mid-30s, a lawyer, and a mom. She doesn’t cook and is an extremely picky eater and doesn’t really eat junk food, so food-y gifts won’t work. So far my best idea is Lush bath bombs.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Something from an art museum’s store? Otherwise the bath bombs would be great if you know she’s a bath-taking kind of person.

      • pugsnbourbon

        Just went to MOMAStore and sorted the “jewelry and accessories” by price – lots of interesting items.

      • Anonymous

        I luuuurrrve Lollia hand creme. It’s shea butter like L’Occitane but has some beautiful (and subtle) scents. One year, I gave tubes of it to relatives who live in winter-y areas and they said that their hands never looked so good!

    • Anonymous

      I fit this demographic exactly (except for being a picky eater and not eating junk food), and I would like splurge-type cosmetic (fancy eye cream, fresh sugar lip balm, or Keihl’s or L’Occitane hand cream for my desk), accessory clothing item (commando tights, nice athletic socks, scarf, funky but classy earrings), books (mystery novels or books about financial industry- like Too Big to Fail), or Christmas décor (serving platter, nice ornament).

  18. anon

    Gift help! My DH wants flannel-lined jeans for Christmas. He does not like the fit of pants at LL Bean, and I don’t like the color (too dark) at Land’s End and Eddie Bauer. I’m stumped to think of other places to look. Help?!

    • waffles

      Not sure if they are in the US, but if you’re in Canada, Marks Work Wearhouse

    • rosie

      J.Crew & Bonobos had them last year at least (not 100% sure if Bonobos had jeans, but definitely had an assortment of flannel-lined khakis).

      • nutella

        My SO loves his Bonobos flannel chinos that he has them in 3 colors (navy, olive/gray, maroon). I am not sure if they make them in denim, though.

  19. Holiday party attire

    Hoping I’m not too late and that someone sees this! My office holiday party is tomorrow. It’s a daytime thing – lunch followed by a cocktail reception. My understanding is that men wear suits and women wear some nebulous combination of biz casual and party-formal. My plan is to wear a black sweater, fun necklace, dark green lace pencil skirt (knee length), black tights, and some kind of pump.

    2 questions.

    1) are these black tights inappropriate for office wear? http://www.barenecessities.com/product.aspx?pfid=Wolford18563&cm_mmc=GLPA_NonBrand-_-Hosiery-_-Wolford129-_-Wolford18563&BillboardPopupEnabled=false&BorderfreeEnabled=False&color=Black&amsk=w9a4hfr3k4&source=gbase&cmp=bpp20&product_id=295581&adpos=1o2&creative=86409444055&device=m&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=Cj0KEQiApqTCBRC-977Hi9Ov8pkBEiQA5B_ipZ5sqM85WZUsXn3iaPjcQ9m0BxBeEfuoZIbCag0saf0aAnvB8P8HAQ (In case the link doesn’t work, they’re sheer black with a black seam down the back of the leg)

    2) do gold glittery pumps go with sheer black tights? And do they sound like too much for this outfit? My other option is plain black pumps.

    Thanks!

    • Jules

      I love the tights (but gasped at the price); I wouldn’t consider them every day office wear but for a holiday party they would work. But I think the gold pumps might be a bit too much.

      And now I want a green lace pencil skirt . . .

      • Holiday party attire

        Thanks, Jules. Don’t worry, those aren’t the exact tights I bought – mine were a fraction of the cost! I just wanted to post a representative image of them :)

    • anon

      I like the tights for an office party – a little fun touch that moves your outfit out of the everyday, but not outrageous. On the other hand, I don’t think gold sparkly heels would go well at all with black tights. Black pumps with the outfit you described sounds very chic. Way better to keep it to 1 or 2 special pieces (in this case the tights and skirt), and keep the rest simple.

  20. Anonymous

    What is your industry? I think the tights would be inappropriate in my office and would lead to a lot of chatter (which is wrong, yes, but would still happen) but I am a lawyer in a not conservative but still midwestern office. But they would be fine in other workplaces I’ve had.

    No to the gold pumps. Not scandalous, just a bit much for daytime office.

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