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Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Miss Forgetful
What is your favorite, simple to do list/reminder app? I’ve got my big picture calendar/ goal planning system mostly figured out, but I’m struggling with the little life details that pop up throughout the week – for instance I need to send someone a thank you note and I just keep forgetting.
Cb
I have a massive ‘brain dump list’ which I use to identify tasks for my daily to do list but also use for a power hour. I’ll look at my big list and batch activities by area (errands, emails, home items) and see how many I can cross off in an hour. I find paper works best for me (I carry around a little notebook) but any of the normal to do list apps would be fine for this.
Anonymous
I just use the Reminders app that comes with iOS. I make a list, set alerts. Very easy.
I believe that if something takes 2 minutes to do, just do it, instead of adding it to a list or making a note to do it later.
C2
+1 and if I think of something when I’m at work or out, I ask Siri to remind me when I get home. “Siri, remind me to write Jane a thank you note when I get home.”
I keep my running non-urgent grocery, pantry, and household item needs list on iOS Notes so I actually remember to grab those things when I’m at the store.
I also have a list posted on my fridge of things I should do weekly – it’s basically just vacuum, water plants, clean toilet, change sheets, do laundry. I usually rock through those items on Saturday morning or on Thursday night if I’m leaving for the weekend, and since it’s a routine, it goes fast, but it keeps me from going weeks and weeks without watering my plants, and I don’t stress things the rest of the week.
IHHtown
My favorite app for this is Any.do (which also has a desktop online version). On Android there is even a drop down option that you can type something into and have pegged to your default list without opening the app or closing other apps.
On Any.do you can have one mega list, or break down into different lists, and each item can have sub-task options as well. In each list, you can divide into “today” “tomorrow” “upcoming” and my favorite “someday”. You can also assign specific times and dates to items on lists with alarms. The app also has the option of “review my day” by listing the items you have for today and letting you update the time table one by one (ex. listed as today but I just click once to push it to tomorrow instead). It is by far the most straight forward list app I’ve seen. You can even literally cross the item out when done which give a good amount of satisfaction.
Vicky Austin
+1 to Any.do! All the crossing out of paper and all the organization of an app.
Anonymous
I use Wunderlist and love it. Not perfect, but a marked improvement over iOS reminders. The company has been acquired by Microsoft and it may be “improved upon” but until then, it’s a great solution for me.
MagicUnicorn
Another vote for the iOS Reminders app. For things I remember at inconvenient times like writing a thank you note or changing the dead light bulb on the front porch, if I can’t do it at the time I remember I just create a reminder to do it later.
Anonymous
I use Wunderlist, which I share with my husband.
Anon
Same! Love it. I also have different lists for diff things
Anonymous
I use a combination of workflowy (actual project and task management with deadlines), qlist.cc (groceries), Zhorn Stickies, and a comparable phone app that leaves a reminder in my notifications until I’ve done the thing.
Anonymous
1. A shorthand notebook in a black case, with a pen in a slot and pockets for folded papers acquired during the day, post-its etc, all fitting in my purse. It accompanies me everywhere. I also take notes in it, for instance when going to a bank, an attorney, a physician. Some of these pages are torn out when the book is full, and filed appropriately if need be. Each notebook is labeled with the date it was started and when it ended. I throw them out after a couple of years. I began this when I started a recently completed Ph.D. and it has really helped to keep me focused while not forgetting to do daily life things.
2. Outlook calendar with appointments and annual reminders – birthdays, car inspection, physicals etc.
3. A very small (about 4 in by 2.5 in) wooden clipboard with scrap paper on it that is kept on a kitchen counter (near the pantry cupboard and fridge/freezer) for shopping lists to which are added items when I notice they are needed. On the back is pasted a list of items that I buy routinely. Being wooden it does not get lost/thrown out when occasional clear ups happen or lost from the grocery cart!
Anon
AnyList. I use it for random to do lists and groceries.
Ellen
Kat, I do like the Blazer, but I too am a little fuzzy on the pant’s, which the manageing partner will NOT reimburse me for. The dress is also edgey, but I could probably get by with it and the manageing partner would reimburse me. I will have to check, b/c it is NOT to pricey and that is a good thing these days, b/c our billeings (firm wide) have not increased 8%, as targeted by the manageing partner. He wants to retire next year under his partnership retirement 401k, but he needs this year’s contribution to be bigger so that his LUMP sum is sufficient to carry him and Margie for the next 20 years, he says. Margie will need even more money, but he has a life insurance policy and his children are between the ages of 2 and 27, so they to need money. I want to be the manageing partner so I have to do 10% more billeing this year to pick up where Madeline and the others have fallen. FOOEY b/c I do NOT have time to find a husband with all of this work I do! Where is WORK LIFE BALANCEING FOR ME? I want a baby too! It is going to be IVF for sure since I do NOT even have a boyfriend! DOUBEL FOOEY!
Ruby
I’m stumped on an outfit for a rehearsal dinner. The groom’s parents are hosting it at their home and they live in the South, so the weather won’t be freezing but I’m expecting it to be chilly. The invitation said casual dress code, but I feel weird wearing jeans to a rehearsal dinner (I should probably get over this). Is a sweater dress too much? Would nice jeans and a fancy sweater be better?
Anonymous
SEUS here — my vote is sweater dress. Jeans at a rehearsal dinner seems too casual.
Anonymous
Same
coffee
A sweater dress sounds perfect, or a casual dress + cardigan. I wouldn’t wear jeans to a rehearsal dinner, and I don’t imagine many southern women will either.
Anonymous
I’d go on what you know about the bride and groom and their social circles. In my family (in the south) of course you’d wear jeans and think nothing of it. But we’re not fancy people and don’t Have Money. To some of my friends’ houses, I’d wear nice jeans, great shoes, and the fancy sweater. Or the sweater dress. Because they’re a bit more polished, but everyone runs around in yoga clothes all the time, and dressing up isn’t a thing.
TheElms
Maybe ankle pants and a nice sweater if you don’t want to do a dress?
Senior Attorney
Can you ask somebody in the wedding party what they’re wearing?
Anonymous
+1
Fishie
I’d always err on the side of being slightly overdressed. I’d wear the sweater dress. That is not at all “fancy” – it’s not like a cocktail dress.
Anon
Suggestions for ways to read just the news headlines without diving into the content? I used to be a news junkie, but I’ve realized a big source of my anxiety is the news itself. It was suggested to me to take a news hiatus. I’ve already scaled back Twitter and Facebook. I’ve stopped checking the New York Times. However, I don’t want to be completely in the dark.
Vicky Austin
Check out feedly.com.
Anonymous
Try a more laid-back source of news. Perhaps NPR? Also, quit Twitter. It is not a great news source.
K
I like the Skimm newsletter. Super condensed news, sometimes funny.
Housecounsel
Another vote for Skimm.
Anon
+2. The tone is a little offputting at times (I find it’s feels a little too light for what is truly horrible news.) but I needed to take a major step back in news immersion without going totally dark. This helps summarize the key news in a long enough format to understand the story, without spiraling into anxiety over the details.
Anon
For me, the daily drive home with NPR has done the trick to give headlines, a 30 second blurb on each story, and a deeper but not too deep dive on the few actual big stories of the day (and not the sensationalized cable news big stories of the day). I find that NPR tends to be as central as it gets these days when it comes to quick news source (and I say this as someone who is conservative on some issues and more liberal in others so often appreciate when I hear multiple perspectives of an issue at least touched on in news source).
Panda Bear
+1 to this. And if you want to listen to an even shorter digest, NPR has a podcast called ‘up first’ which is usually about 20 minutes – headlines and just a little extra content, but not too much.
Anonymous
+1 NPR news, in various formats.
anon
NPR, and stay off Twitter, period.
CostAccountant
CNN’s 5 things you need to know today
AnonAtty
NPR and the first 15 minutes of the Today show while I drink my coffee and eat breakfast. I often don’t even make it through the full 15 minutes, TBH. I record it so that I don’t have to catch it at exactly 7 am every day.
anon
Question about male friends- Have you ever had a friend that you felt would totally be into you romantically in different circumstances (e.g., you were both single) but in a way that doesn’t undermine the friendship or make it any less genuine? I get that vibe from a couple of my newer (like <1 year) guy friends, but my gut sense is that it's not weird or a problem, and the connection is both innocent and genuine. Thoughts? I'm 29 if that makes a difference, and the men in question are about may age or maybe a little older
Anonymous
Yup. I’ve been into male friends too. I just avoid any alone time and the feelings pass.
Anon
+1 you’re friends because you have a lot in common which is how love interests often start. As time passes, I find my male friends fall deeper into the “unrelated brother” category to the point where romantic circumstances aren’t a possibility anymore. But initially many male-female friendships start in that “we maybe could, but won’t” category.
nev
My very best male friend and I often say that we are married in an alternate dimension. Both our spouses are fine with this and they have also commented similarly. It is no big deal. We have a deep emotional connection and great chemistry – things that you can have with more than one person. And we do not avoid being alone.
Anon
Yeah, the chemistry thing is interesting and can be confusing. One of my closest, longest-tenured male friends and I have insane chemistry, to the point I get questions about why we don’t date. We are both single, though we’ve each dated plenty of other people. We’ve known each other so long, we’ve looked at but never crossed the relationship line a few times, and it doesn’t work for us – sometimes big sparks also means you’re going to blow a fuse. I’ve frankly never had the same kind of spark with anyone I’ve dated, but in my daily life I’m much happier, better grounded, and have a lot less friction with men who essentially have the opposite personality to him.
Vicky Austin
Yes, often. The more time passes in the friendship, the less I get that vibe, though.
emma
Agree too- I have a friend of 15+ yrs (met in high school) that I always thought we’d end up dating and together at some point because we get a long fabulously. I had kind of marked in my head that after law school finished, I’d explore what was up with us, during law school I met my husband, and he met his wife– which we both get along with like pb&j, and now we are just good life long friends. A lot of other male friends from my 20s that either I had crushes on or they had crushes on me seemed to just fizzle out after a while when distance or time made it clear things wouldn’t progress.
If you are single though & really think some of those dudes are really decent, awesome, dudes, consider dating them. When I met my husband I thought he was an amazing guy, he clearly had a crush on me, and I kept telling people he “would make an amazing boyfriend for someone”… and after some thought, reflection, and 2 terrible boyfriends, I realized I thought he’d really make a great boyfriend for ME and I’d be a dummy to let some other girl get him. 10 years & 2 kids later, I can’t believe I almost let him get away- best risk I took in my life.
Anonymous
For what it’s worth, I had this a long time ago and ended up dating that person for 4 years. It didn’t work out and now I haven’t seen or spoken to him in over 5 years. I really miss my friend (do not miss him as a boyfriend).
Mono-lingual hostess
I’m hosting a Spanish-speaker over the holidays, and I don’t can’t think of many tourist activities in my small rural town that don’t require English. The local art center is a pleasant hour, and the old houses on that hill, maybe another- after that I’m stumped.
Any recommendations for language-independent fun? Or, how I might find out about Spanish-speaking resources I don’t know about?
coffee
Either in your town or nearby ones, is there bowling, ice skating, indoor putt putt, arcades, or any misc. attractions like that? My city even has a goofy axe throwing bar. I’d find physical type attractions like that so you don’t have to worry much about language.
Gail the Goldfish
An axe throwing bar? Alcohol + axes does not sound like a good idea.
Never too many shoes...
I went axe-throwing with my work friends (so 20 insurance lawyers) at a place you could bring your own alcohol. They actually had very good safety policies in place and it was well set up…. but still. We were ceaselessly amused by the irony.
Kapow!
I am so jealous! I once told my husband I wanted to take up axe throwing as a hobby, but he was all “No it’s dangerous you’ll hurt yourself or someone else or the dogs.”
As if I’d let the dogs in the backyard during an axe throwing session! Alas, he remained unmoved on the subject and I let it drop… maybe someday…
Annie
Can you do things that will feel “American?” – IHOP, a diner, bowling, playing darts in a bar with a jukebox, going to the mall, and an all you can eat buffet all come to mind.
Anon
What are the age and interests of the Spanish speaker and what is their English level, if any? Honestly, especially if you’re in a southern or southwestern state and your guest can name a drink or ask for a bathroom they’ll be fine in most places. You’d be surprised how many people know rudimentary Spanish and how much communication can be done with fingers and pantomiming. Other than a tour guide constantly speaking English to your guest, I don’t think any attractions are really out of reach because of a language barrier.
OP
He’s 45 y.o., and has been to the U.S. plenty of times, but he often ends up stuck at home watching movies on his laptop. His fiancée (my SIL) and my husband will be able to translate, I just don’t want him to be bored out of his mind.
I appreciate the suggestions for social outings–there is a skating rink/laser tag in town, and DH and I don’t go out to drink but I think our guests do–are excellent ideas.
Anon
I’ve recently noticed that have a couple of lipomas (fat lumps) on my legs. I know they are benign and they run in my family. Is there any way to reduce their appearance? Massage? Diet changes? Cellulite stick?
Lumpy
Following….
Anonymous
You can get them removed, à la Dr. Pimple Popper.
Anon op
Thank you. I may consider getting them removed if/when they get bigger. For now, I’m interested in non-surgical options for reducing their appearance and prevention options (if they exist).
Anonymous
Help!
Suddenly, out of nowhere, having these really weird (allergy?) symptoms. I’ll be going along fine, and suddenly one eye, or both, is watering like crazy. Nose runny. No single trigger; today it seemed to be the bright sun; another time was in a hotel in another state and thought perhaps a reaction to the detergent in the towels. any experience? Worth a doc visit, or allergist? Maybe just treat with eye drops?
signed, suddenly a raccoon.
Anon
This isn’t allergies, it’s a nervous system problem related to migraine or something else that involves the trigeminal nerve. Probably not worth seeing a doctor unless you also have pain or other symptoms, but if you do, you should see a neurologist. I think it’s pretty common in people with migraine, but frequently gets misattributed to sinus issues. There was actually just an article about a related problem (in a much more severe form) in the New York Times Magazine, you should be able to find it with a little googling.
Cat
I have this happen if my eyes get very dry (it started suddenly in my mid 30s FWIW, ah the joys of aging and your eyes becoming drier) — apparently your glands can go into overdrive with creating tears, and overwhelm your normal drainage. I figured it out after a windy day at the beach, and now proactively use saline drops every few hours if I’ll be outside in those conditions for awhile.
I have regular eye exams and my eyes, aside from needing glasses, are in fine shape.
Fishie
I used to have this problem (like had to pull over driving to work because my eyes were watering so badly) and I narrowed it down to my sunscreen. Now I only wear zinc/mineral based sunscreen on my face and neck. Problem solved.
Grinch
Does anyone else hate ugly xmas sweater parties? Our family is having one and I am so not excited because the appeal wore off like 10 years ago and it’s making me feel like such a Grinch!
Funny enough, I think what bugs me the most is that there is now a whole “market” devoted to tacky sweaters so it’s no longer a natural thing but just something meant to be ironic. It’s a big party and means a lot to family every year so we missing it isn’t an option or even an option I’d want to take. I guess my question is do I play along or just wear whatever and try not to be annoyed that all the pictures will have dumb sweaters of pooping reindeer in them?
Pompom
Yes, I also hate them. We were invited to one 5 years back and it felt old then. The party was fun and I love the hosts, but having to acquire and wear something I sort of hated was a very minor annoyance. I’ve been on a real essentialist/minimalist bent with my clothes in the past 5 years, so that added to it. I ended up getting something that was, to me, ugly at H+M for like 10$ and I just wear it everytime I’m invited to something. Husband did the same.
A co-worker of mine–a man in his mid 50s–was invited to one and he just found a mildly ugly-to-him dress shirt to wear with a garish tie. I approve that approach!
Torin
I dislike any party that requires me to buy and wear something solely for that party that I will never ever get any other use out of. That’s just not how I like to buy clothes.
anon
Also dislike them for all of the reasons you mentioned. I usually wear a normal sweater or top that I like and put on a goofy necklace of ornaments or lights. Does that count? Probably not, but its festive and does not require me to buy something.
AnotherAnon
+1 to this answer. I really don’t like fast fashion and it feels very “spoiled American” to be expected to purchase something that I will discard immediately; especially since in my area it’s implied that you’ll buy it from a thrift store. Um, hello! Some of us shop at thrift stores non-ironically and get compliments all the time, so to all the ugly sweater party hosts: I don’t think your parties are cute or funny and please quit sneering.
Rainbow Hair
I hate it. I think it’s slightly mean, definitely classist, and wasteful and also just like, dumb? …And this is from someone who lives for costume parties.
Anonymous
This.
Fishie
This. Why would I spend money on clothes that purposefully make me look stupid?
IHHtown
At this point I don’t think they are in any way ironic and have now just become a Christmas tradition in some ways – an excuse to have a holiday party with friends and/or family in the same vein as a “cookie decorating party”, a “cookie swap”, etc. I’d say try to reframe and not be a scrooge about it, just do what everyone else does, accept it as an excuse for a random party, and get one ugly to you sweater to wear for the next 10 years. One ugly sweater kept in the top of your closet isn’t going to take up much room or mental space.
Jeffiner
This. I made an ugly sweater for my best friend a few years ago. She wears it to parties every year, and lets other people borrow it to wear to parties as well. These parties are pretty common, there’s no reason to think your sweater is a one-time use thing.
Last year, my husband’s aunt gave everyone in the family an ugly Christmas sweater, and convinced us all to take a huge family photo while wearing them. She died unexpectedly a few months later, making that ridiculous photo now a favorite memory.
Anonymous
+1 – also don’t like. I usually just don’t get the sweater and do the festive dressing thing. I might try to be a little over the top with the festive-ness, but would draw from clothes (and christmas decorations) I already own. Like the red sweater AND the green jeans AND the sparkle boots AND the big green drop earrings. So it’s gets into the festiveness side of what “ugly sweater” is trying to do.
emma
As someone who just sent out 2 invites with clothing suggestions (wear your Halloween best, feel free to wear your ugliest sweater)- I wouldn’t care 1 iota if no one dressed up. It was just festive for the invite and I thought would give the idea of the get-together more cohesiveness. Wear (or re-wear) what you want without regret.
Coach Laura
My 20 something son goes to these – but they all get their sweaters at goodwill. They go for the cheapest ugly look – and the winner gets a prize.
Xarcady
In a few weeks, I will be attending a friend’s “3rd Annual Ugly Sweater Party.” Didn’t know until now that it was going to be a yearly thing.
I just take a red sweater and pin/sew some garland into the shape of a tree and pin some felt ornaments on. Maybe add some clashing garland around the wrists and neck. Twist in a battery-powered string of lights. Then do the same on the back. After the party, everything goes on my tree. This get-up has won me prizes!
anon
Hi! I would like to thank the poster last week that listed all of their favorite podcasts with one-line summaries. I have listened to many and am better for it. Particularly: Believed about how Larry Nassar got away with his abuse.
trefoil
This sounds awesome, do you remember which thread it was on?
Twofer
Last Wednesday’s – with the green dress.
trefoil
Thanks!
Comment Count
Why have the comments been so few lately? I use to hop on here in the morning (West coast) and there would be over a 100 comments. Now it’s less than 20!
Anonymous
Personally, I have often thought of commenting, but realize that neither my comments nor anyone else’s will show up until the next time someone checks the moderation cue — so there is no movement in the comment threads, and I’m not particularly motivated to jump into a conversation that won’t happen. Maybe others are like me? Or it’s just a particularly busy season for people …?
AIMS
+1. It’s just not fun and not productive this way. I get that trolls were becoming an issue but I’d rather just scroll past a few nasty dumb comments than this current set up.
LAnon
I never really thought the “trolls” were that much of an issue.
Sure, there were people who commented just to stir up controversy but I never felt like they were so disruptive to the community that you couldn’t just scroll past them. (I’m mentally comparing it to the trolling problem that Jezebel was having for a while where someone was posting graphic and deeply disturbing pictures in the comments – nothing like that was happening.)
A lot of people didn’t like “Ellen” but really, who cares? Seems like it’s better to have a silly, fake persona who comments every day than just a lack of overall conversation.
I basically come here out of habit now but haven’t found any of the clothes interesting in a long time and now the comments section is fading as well.
Monday
I like that we can talk about what’s “productive” or not for a fashion chat board! :)
I agree, AIMS. The trolls never got all that bad–or at least, not the ones that made it through for us to see. I would love to go back to a lively and populous comment section, and I think it would bring more readers and participants.
Scarlett
Same here. I wasn’t bothered and know how to scroll
Anon
This is me too. I don’t particularly want to use my real email address and I just haven’t gotten around to creating a burner, so I get stuck in mod. And then the conversation has moved on by the time my comment gets posted. I get why Kat has done this, as the trolls were getting out of control, so I need to just create a burner and see if that helps feel engaged again.
Anonymous
Yup. Using a regular user name makes you not really anonymous much faster than people realize.
Anon
you don’t have to use a real email address. It could be 1234 at the mail of g. the field just needs to be filed in, and the same email used regardless of name works.
Scarlett
+1
I used to comment more but since it takes forever even with an email to get through, I don’t bother unless I feel like I really have something to add
Housecounsel
I’ve noticed the same. Do people really hate the new look? I find it easier, and I am having fewer, not more, moderation problems.
Anonymous
The approved email works, but I think the redesign made it clear that the root of the moderation issue is here to stay and wont be fixed. So you’re now able to talk in real time to some regulars who want to do that and who want to sign every comment, but not anyone else.
10+ yr Reader
I find that how spread out the text is – both horizontally and vertically – takes a longer time for me to read. More scrolling to digest multiple comments in the same thread and slower left-to-right reading due to spacing. This could all be personal preference, but it’s definitely slowed me way down and has me coming back and commenting less frequently. But, I agree with the sentiment of OP.
BeenThatGuy
I completely agree. I never cared much about the moderation issue; eventually it would go through. But this layout has me here only once or twice a day when it used to be significantly more.
Anonymous
I hate the new look. I find the thin font hard to read and the white spaces too large. Font is also larger than necessary so it’s hard to read on my phone.
Anon
I also hate the new font. I have a vision disorder and find it much easier to read a font with serifs. Too much space makes it hard to scroll. And it just takes way too long for comments to get posted…
C2
I dislike it, too. I can’t put my finger on it, but it just feels less engaging. I posted last week about hating the lines/boxes, but I’m ok with them now that the lines are of a lighter weight.
Anonymous
I hate the new look also, the font is too thin/light and HUGE.
Duckles
Agreed, the new font is way too light and so hard to read.
Also don’t love the general overhaul (it looks less sophisticated to me? Kind of amateur/cheap somehow) but that’s just preference.
anon former commenter
Posting anon for this, but I’m a regular commenter and I comment far less often now than I used to. For me, it was when I realized that there was an anon poster who clearly hated me and also clearly paid a lot of attention to what I posted, so I got nasty and fairly personal responses when I commented. I’ve always tried to be very honest in what I posted and took pride in never posting anonymously, but knowing there was someone out there hiding as an Anon with a clear personal animus against me made me uncomfortable, especially because I’m fairly identifiable IRL if you’re paying that much attention. Once that happened, I became much less inclined to engage here.
Anonymous
Yeah I switched to anon because it became clear someone knew who I was!
Anon
It’s because of the mod issue. I also don’t really know what people mean by “major troll problems” – there are always some political discussions where some people don’t seem sincere (although it is hard to tell for sure since it’s the Internet), but it’s NOTHING like other websites out there. Is it really worth it to totally kill the buzz and have a middling 40 comments per day just to shut down unpopular opinions? I mean, is that good from a business perspective in addition to the reader perspective?
AIMS
I think you’re right that it has always been relatively fine. But people have gotten used to this place being total Pleasantville, maybe, so sometimes it did feel like it was getting to be overwhelming, especially as people would respond and respond and respond. But now you can’t really respond, which seems like throwing the baby out with the bathwater a bit.
Anon
I roll my eyes when people call a conservative question a “troll” but there were increasing numbers of MRA-type people whose vitriolic comments would get through every so often, particularly if you were reading an older post. (Like trying to catch up on last week’s comments.) That’s the troll problem I’m referring to.
And I agree it’s the mod, but it’s because I’m not willing to give up my Anon handle just to post quickly. There are too many regular commenters here who I can narrow down to a handful of people, just from the identifying info they’ve posted over the last year or so, and I’m not trying very hard. I imagine I would be the same if my details weren’t lost in the sea of Anons.
Rainbow Hair
Hi! I sorta became a regular and now am too annoyed. My comments never show up, or show up literally hours later, so why bother trying to join a conversation?
And then there’s just the feeling that sometimes… I’ve said all I have to say: “don’t limit your dating pool to rich people [or if you must, admit to yourself that that’s what you’re doing]”; “pale green is a surprisingly pleasant neutral on walls”; “men are trash”; “chicago is wonderful, pls have a beer at hopleaf for me”; “you’re awesome for trying out therapy! I hope it works great for you!”; “follow people with different body types on insta”; “you aren’t poor”; and “here’s a link to dresses with sleeves.”
Never too many shoes...
Rainbow Hair – I for one really enjoy your comments and takes on things.
Also, you forgot – try it with a leather jacket!
Rainbow Hair
Ahahaha I’m so ashamed! My LJ advocacy is slipping!
AnonAtty
LOL Agreed the advice gets repetitive–because the questions are repetitive or very similar. I find myself skipping whole threads for that reason.
Freezing
What do you guys usually keep your thermostats at in the winter, if you’re not doing something particularly active at home? I’m always freezing (I dress as warmly as I can – usually a long-sleeved undershirt, sweater, and jeans or other pants – I hate to add long underwear, too, though I sometimes do). I’ll usually keep it between 70 and 72, but even then I’m shivering. If I’m really moving, I’m OK, but sometimes I just want to watch TV or play a game without needing a blanket (which just makes me sleepy).
Housecounsel
I work from home and am always cold. The thermostat is set at 72, but I also have a space heater at my desk that goes on and off all day. Are you anemic? That can be a cause of always being cold. I take prenatal vitamins (not pregnant) to try to keep my iron up, and it’s better, but not great. I think I need fingerless gloves for typing.
Anon
I normally keep it at 70, but have no problems increasing it to 75 or even 78 if I’m cold. I have no desire to be cold and uncomfortable in my own home, and figure the slightly higher heating bill is money well spent.
Anon
+1 Why be uncomfortable in your own home, just put it to a comfortable temp for you.
My main issue comes from a spouse that trends hot and myself who trends cold. We meet in the middle in the winter at 65 when not home and at 70 or 72 while home (which also doesn’t tax the heater as much and conserves ) and I put on long lounge pants and long sleeve shirt.
In summer (and in the deep south) we keep it at 78 when not home, and lower to 74 when home.
Anonymous
We keep ours at 68/69 unless we have company.
Never too many shoes...
We keep ours between 20 and 21 (so 68 – 69) in Canada. Maybe because it is so cold outside, it feels perfectly comfortable indoors, even in just jammies and slippers. I would find 78 uncomfortably hot indoors.
K120
I keep it around 68 when I’m at home. I’ll turn it up to 70 if I’m sitting on the couch by the window. I also wear a heavier sweatshirt and slippers so I am generally comfortable at that temperature. I do have it set higher in the morning since it helps me get out of bed and is more comfortable after a shower.
Anon
Historically, 68 during the day, 66-67 at night. We’re in the Boston area so we prefer layering up and our giant down comforter. However, since our daughter was born (she’s 6 mos) we’ve been at 70 and we’re both SO HOT. Her room is just so cold for some reason. Her room runs at least 2 degrees colder than rest of house, and we haven’t come up with a better solution yet.
Candidate
I’m in the Boston area too, we keep our house at 62-64. We got new mini-split units put in upstairs, having those come on to 63 F an hour before I wake up has made my mornings much more pleasant (old house, the forced hot air doesn’t reach upstairs where the bedroom is).
Layer Up!
+3 Boston area.
60 empty house during the day and 63-64 when we get home. If we have company I will jack it up to 68-70, but then I start to sweat !
a mixture of being regulated to the cool temps, I do a lot of physical activity and my body runs hot, and a little grinchy/frugality thrown in. If you’re cold, put more clothes on!
Xarcady
I’m just north of Boston, and we keep the temp at 65 when we are home. If someone gets too cold, they can turn the heat up, but only after they are wearing three or more layers–long johns, shirt, sweater or fleece. We mostly have to turn the heat up only on really windy days. The house is 120 years old and simply can’t hold the heat in high winds.
CPA Lady
I keep it between 70-72 too. What are you wearing? I’ve found that multiple layers, including something close to the body, are key. Like thin leggings under flannel pj pants, a tank top, a flannel shirt or sweatshirt, plus fuzzy socks and uggs (over the ankle is crucial). My hands and nose might be cold in this get up, but I’m generally not shivering.
Torin
68. I wear fleece pajama pants, a tshirt, flannel, and socks to lounge around the house in the winter and I’m not cold. The thick fleece pajama pants are the key to staying warm for me. Jeans or leggings are not warm enough.
Panda Bear
I would like to set it at 72, my husband would like it at 62, so we both grudgingly compromise at about 68. I’m usually wearing jeans or leggings with socks, fuzzy slippers, a long sleeved tee, a sweatshirt and top it off with my second-warmest puffy coat. I don’t care how ridiculous I look wearing a coat in the house – I’m just always freezing!
Anonymous
68. If I’m cold at a higher temperature and normal winter clothing isn’t enough (i.e., I’m tempted to put on a coat indoors), for me that’s a sign that my thyroid meds need adjusting.
Anonymous
68 during the day, 65 at night. If we kept it at 70 or higher I’d have to wear short sleeves indoors.
busybee
We keep ours at 67, day and night during the winter. More like 76-78 in the summer.
Yeah it’s a little chilly (and I tend extremely cold except for night sweats which I’m thinking I should get checked out) but we just layer up. Plus you get used to it and save a lot on your energy bill! I find now that if I’m somewhere where the inside temp is above 70-72, I feel stuffy.
Anonymous
65. Have you seen a doctor? Shivering in a sweater at 72 might be something that can be treated.
anon a mouse
FWIW, I learned this summer with a giant AC problem that many thermostats have a 3-degree sensitivity, meaning that if you have it set at 70, the actual temperature could be anywhere from 67 to 73, and the AC/heat won’t kick on until it gets outside that range. Otherwise our utilities would run nearly nonstop. Apparently some of the newer ones have a narrower range, and an HVAC tech may be able to adjust your settings. But I watched with a calibrated wet bulb thermometer and our thermostat was definitely, consistently, 2-2.5 degrees off.
Anon
68 max but we have the upstairs downstairs problem / old house / not separate zones. So at 68 the upstairs is toasty but downstairs is wear a sweater and maybe a wrap and maybe a blanket too if you’re on the couch. Unfortunately my home office is downstairs too.
NYCer
Ah how I long for the days when I had control over my heating…. We live in a prewar NYC building with radiators, and it was a not-so-pleasant 78 degrees in the apartment when I left this morning. And that was with the windows open! I wear tank tops and shorts when I am home all winter.
MagicUnicorn
63 is our base daytime/not home temp. We push to 68 for the few after work/before bed hours, then down to 65 for sleeping.
Duckles
I keep it on 73 in the winter, 76 in the summer. Life’s too short to be cold.
Xarcady
Look into silk long johns if you are really cold. They fit under just about anything, except maybe leggings, and are slippery enough that other clothes slide over them. Just a thin, knit layer, but they add so much warmth! (Note: they are best for mild activity in the house. Not really good for strenuous activity out of doors as they don’t wick well.)
anon
I am about to transition from my firm job to my first in-house job. What am I forgetting to do in terms of logistics–because I know there’s something!
IHHtown
Each company is so different, there really aren’t any logistics prior to arriving beyond reading news updates on your company in the weeks prior to starting. Once you get there start learning more about the company business and who are the decision makers.
TX-IHC
Try to save all your contacts lists and some sample forms you may want to use
Anonymous
+1
I wish I had saved more samples.
Rothys
Can someone please share a Rothy’s code? Decided to try the leopard point flats. Thanks!
Anonymous
http://share.rothys.com/x/rzjOMQ
Enjoy!
Anonymous
I dress similarly — with socks and slippers added, of course. Keep my thermostat around 67-68. Lower if I’m up and moving around. But also keep in mind that rooms heat differently, depending on drafts, air flow, sun coming in windows, etc. So we can tell you numbers, but that may not give you an accurate idea of how warm or cold our houses actually are.
Unless money is an issue, why not just turn up the heat? Or get a space heater to warm the particular space where you want to be.
Freezing
I think that might be what I’m looking for (permission to turn up the heat). It just seems like there are a lot of people keeping theirs so much lower, so I was wondering if I was out of line (and my husband and kids are comfortable, of course). We have one of those very-open floor plan type homes, so I don’t know if a space heater would do a lot of good in the common areas, though I do use one in the bathroom.
CPA Lady
You have my permission– my husband and I are both cold natured. We were broke for most of our 20s and spent that time freezing. As soon as we both got good jobs the first thing we did was crank the thermostat.
Go for it!
When I lived in northern Illinois it seemed like we were the only people with a thermostat set at 70 or 70+ degrees. I finally asked people how they stayed warm and it turns out they slept in all kinds of layers. One friend said she slept with a hoodie pulled over her head. No wonder! I was in the habit of wearing night gowns and needed more climate control.
Anon
true, my habit of sleeping nude means I keep my house warmer
Women only social co-working spaces
Has anyone signed up as a member for those women only social coworking spaces like the Wing? I’m looking at the one in SF but feedback about any of the locations would be great (as well as other similar women only work spaces like the Wing).
Leatty
Anyone have a recommendation for an inexpensive ski jacket? We’re going skiing in Canada next month for the first time, and I don’t want to spend a fortune. We live in a warm climate and hope to do ski trips every couple of years, so I’d rather buy than rent a jacket.
TheElms
I’d look for a 3 in 1 style jacket. You might be able to wear the outer part as a rain jacket in cooler months in your warm climate). If you run cold you probably want a down or synthetic inner jacket as opposed to a fleece inner jacket. To save money look for discontinued colors or last year’s style at a place like REI outlet or Backcountry.com. If you don’t like the 3 in 1 style, I’d say make sure you get a jacket that is waterproof and has pit zips. It can be warmer lower on the mountain (where you’ll be as a beginner) and it will help you not overheat. Eddie Bauer is having a 40% off sale and this looked nice to me:
https://www.eddiebauer.com/product/womens-all-mountain-20-3-in-1-parka/38989616?showProducts=&color=333&sizetype=&size=
Also this:
https://www.rei.com/rei-garage/product/133618/helly-hansen-squamish-cis-3-in-1-jacket-womens
Anonymous
I’m in a similar boat, and I bought this one last year. (Except it came in a gorgeous purpley-blue that looked great with white snow pants.) https://www.columbia.com/womens-sleet-to-street-interchange-jacket-1686431.html Maybe check Black Friday?
Anonymous
If you can wait until you get to Canada try MEC (MEC.ca) = the quality on their “house” brand is very good and always less expensive than a similar coat from Patagonia / North Face etc. NOTE: you have to be a member to shop at MEC. Lifetime membership is $5.
[might not be as cheap as black Friday though, but the current exchange rate helps].
Also the sales staff is super helpful.
Anonymous
I have sort of wide feet. Sometimes I wear wide, but can be ok with normal width depending on the brand and style. Haven’t shopped for shoes in a bit, but looking for some new pairs and finding the styles available in wide a bit limited.
Any recommendations on shoe brands that you know of that run wider? (Conversely, if there are some that run narrow, that helps me knock those off the list).
emma
I have wide feet- clarks are great and you can find some cute ones, although they run a little pricey for what they are. Also, don’t rule out payless- they get some cute options in wide sizes (I especially like the dexflex flats for work). New balance for sneakers. Bobs (made by skechers) for Toms wannabees. If you just run a little wide, naturalizer, but I tend to find their wides aren’t wide enough. DSW & Zappos will let you filter for wide.
Anon
What type of shoes are you looking for? For booties, the wide Blondo’s are extremely comfortable and allow for thick ankle socks (so they run a smidge wider than other “wide” shoes). For simple but attractive work pumps, shockingly the Lifestride Parigi pumps (that come in all sorts of shapes and colors) are about as comfortable as you can get. I can stand and walk in them all day. For flats, I’ve E-Spirit GetCity Ballet Flats are incredibly comfortable (and all leather)
Anonymous
Thanks… I’m surprised to learn that Clark’s regular widths run wide, as they also have a lot of wide widths.
I’ve mostly bought Stuart Weitzman, but want to branch out as their styles are a bit limited.
Xarcady
Munro makes wide widths, but some of the styles are kind of frumpy.
Depending on your foot size/shape, some European brands might fit in their normal, not wide, sizes. I can wear Romika shoes, and Dansko, but not some other brands, so it’s a bit of trial and error.
Cole Hahn wides are still too narrow for my toes.
Maryland Square and Auditions are catalogs/websites that carry a lot of wide-width shoes.
Anonymous
How do you all coordinate calendars/hours with your nannies? There are several nights each month I’ll have meetings and the like and sometimes things change mid-month – printing out a calendar once doesn’t seem efficient.
What are better solutions – a shared Google calendar just for her hours?
emma
I text her at the beginning of the month or week with the days I expect us to have a different schedule and then remind her day of. My nanny was ok w/ cell phones & texting, but not good w/ google etc. She was also always very flexible.
Anonymous
Hmm. I’m trying to get away from this kind of approach, which is similar to what I do now.
Anonymous
I think it’s your job to keep on top of telling her, not her job to keep on top of figuring it out.
I also text her at the beginning of the week/earlier if know and it’s a more significant change.
Anonymous
What’s your favorite Thanksgiving side? Bonus points for sharing the recipe! :)
Housecounsel
Blue Cranberry Sauce is so much better than the canned stuff. Posting a link in the next thread to try to avoid moderation issues, but just google it and you will find generally the same recipe.
Housecounsel
Here is Blue Cranberry Sauce: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/13851/blue-cranberry-sauce/
Senior Attorney
I make this, too! Yum!
Anonymous
These green beans with caramelized onions. People request them every year. https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/green-beans-with-caramelized-onions-and-almonds-recipe-1945766
Gail the Goldfish
Sweet potato souffle. Though I once had a Northern friend question if it was a side or a dessert, because apparently only Southerns consider something with two sticks of butter and a massive amount of sugar (optionally) topped with marshmallows to be a side.
Gail the Goldfish
*southerners. And I don’t have the exact recipe at the moment, but it’s something close to this: https://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/southern-sweet-potato-casserole-103333 except without milk and I think a cup of butter and cup of sugar
pugsnbourbon
The Thanksgiving Rolls recipe – it’s the first one you get if you search on Food Network dot com. It will make WAY more than 12 rolls (unless you like rolls the size of hamburger buns, no judgment). They are fluffy/doughy rolls, not flaky ones.
Horse Crazy
Williams Sonoma’s Herbed Potato Gratin: https://www.williams-sonoma.com/recipe/herbed-potato-gratin.html
Worry about yourself
I don’t have the recipe, but last year my mom made cranberry sauce with Fireball, and it was amazing!
Belle Boyd
I make my grandmother’s crock pot dressing every year — There are only 4 of us now, but I still double the recipe. It is SO good that my sister will actually start sneaking bites out of the crock pot before we’re ready to eat (come to think of it, she sneaks bites of everything to the point that I think she’s eaten a full plate before we actually sit down to eat and then she can still eat… Wish I had her metabolism and her 105 pound figure!)
Over the last few years, I’ve added homemade cranberry-orange relish to the menu. So simple to make and so good and refreshing! I didn’t make this last year and apparently it was missed because my dad has already started throwing hints about whether or not I’m going to “make that really good cranberry stuff!”
1 bag fresh cranberries
2 peeled oranges
Dice everything up in a food processor and add sugar to taste. Refrigerate. You’ll want to do this a few days before Thanksgiving and give it a taste a day or so before the big day. Add more sugar depending on how sweet/tart you like your cranberry sauce. You can add orange zest to make it pretty and some chopped toasted nuts for crunch if you like that sort of thing.
Oh, and serve it in a pretty dish — the color is so gorgeous, so show it off!
Anonymous
Can you share your gravy recipe?
Anonymous
Oops, sorry, brain cramp. Can you share your dressing recipe? I love stuff that can be cooked in a crockpot.
Belle Boyd
Let me dig it out of the cookbook and I’ll post it tomorrow or Friday.
Anon
Gift ideas for my nieces–2.5 and a month old? I guess the newborn gift would be more for mom but still. Would like to be the cool aunt (I’m the only aunt though) and show up with fun toys for Thanksgiving. It would be great if the gifts are something I can play with/do with my nieces since I’m kind of awkward initially around young kids. TIA!
Anonymous
One month old – Hanna Andersson footed pjs are my favorite newborn gift.
2.5 year-old – Magnatiles are my favorite gift ever, but expensive. Maybe a Melissa & Doug puzzle you can do with her?
pugsnbourbon
Melissa and Doug stuff is great. They make a Keurig playset – not officially branded, of course – and it’s the cutest/bougiest thing ever.
Senior Attorney
Books! Board books for the baby and pop-up books for the 2.5 yr old.
emma
For the 2.5 yo- PLAYDOH! My daughter is obsessed and you can get pretty impressive kits for $10-20. She also loves imitating what we do to her- so baby doll, stroller, fake crib (popular w/ both boys & girls).
For the newborn- a onesie if you must- they are mostly blobby and do nothing. Or a bottle of wine for the parents (one amazing parent gave that to us on our 3yo’s recent bday and god bless that person).
Delta Dawn
For the 2.5 yo, totally agree with playdoh. You’ll be able to do that with her. Also crayons (the chubby kind) and a coloring book of whatever she is into (ask her parents– Frozen, Unicorns, and Mermaids are big right now), and you could color with her. Same thing for stickers. You can get a packet with several sheets of stickers and she’ll probably carry them around all day, bestowing them upon your family. There’s not much you can do “with” the one month old. I would give them a box of size 2 or 3 diapers. The parents will love it. Board books are good for the baby, and she can enjoy them more later, too.
Anonymous
If you were in Philadelphia for a day leaving around 3-4 pm, would you pick up cheesesteaks when leaving to go back to DC? It’ll be about a 2 hr trip home by Amtrak and then another 30 min cab ride. Obviously they won’t be the same reheated but wondering more about whether it’s ok to leave them out for that long unrefrigerated? I know there are “rules” about cooked food at room temp.
How about a Wawa hoagie? Same question.
January
Are you planning to eat them on the train? Could you just eat them before you go? It’s really the sort of thing that’s best served hot and fresh. Also, they smell, and although I like cheesesteaks, I wouldn’t love sitting next to one on the train for 2 hours, because it would make me want one.
As for a Wawa hoagie, it depends on what you get, but it’s going to get soggy over a couple of hours.
Anonymous
The hoagie would probably be fine if it’s made of cheese and a cured meat like ham/salami/etc. and didn’t have mayo on it. I wouldn’t get a meatball hoagie (my personal favorite) and leave it at room temp for 2.5 hours.
Don’t get a cheesesteak.
Anonymous
Get Primos- the bread is thick enough that it will last without getting soggy
Anonymous
No way on the cheesesteaks. They’ll be foul by time you get back and you won’t have happy near-passengers on the train.
If you’re comfortable with the food safety risk, Wawa hoagie will be fine, just get the condiments on the side. (I’ve done it.) In fact, at some Wawas you can buy an insulated bag, which is probably a few dollars well spent.
Anon
Not helpful on the question (l leave food out consistently and eat it without getting sick, but I may just have a strong stomach), but there is a WaWa in DC now
Headcold and a half marathon?
There’s a terrible respiratory infection running around my office and, despite my best efforts, I seem to be developing it. I am registered for a half marathon Sunday. Please give me all your best advice about warding off a cold and/or running with a cold.
Anon
See how you feel Saturday. Until then, get lots of sleep, pop all the immune system and energy promoting pills you can (Multi, Zinc, Echinacea, Vitamin C) – acknowledging that these vitamins can help boost immune system but don’t actually cure a virus – get lots of sleep, drink lots of fluids, stay away from alcohol and stress and other substances that compromise the immune system. Other than that there isn’t much you can do. If you feel an actual respiratory infection, and not just a mild cold coming on, please do not run the half marathon, that is a recipe for disaster and possibly pneumonia.
Anonymous
Running with a cold/ congestion. I suck on cough drops to start a run, and then pop one in around mile 8. They keep sinuses clear, and mouth from drying out. Practice a few times–I have accidentally inhaled them–and then performed an expert level heimlich on myself–which is really embarassing. Also a little NyQuil or off brand equivalent goes a long way. Your body will adjust as you exert to maximize its capabilities. If you are all trained up–you may have a rough first mile–but then as you run, it will get a lot better. You can do it! This anon will be cheering you on!
AnotherAnon
A few weeks ago I successfully avoided catching the office cold by: giving up alcohol, avoiding refined sugar (I did still eat carbs), sauna 20 min every day, and rinsing my nose daily. It could have been luck, but everyone else on my team got a cold and I did not. Good luck!
emma
Take elderberry/sambuco every 4 hrs, you can get it from WF. It really has helped us avoid/shorten coughs the last 2 cold seasons. And even if it does nothing, it’s pretty tasty.
SuziStockbroker
Take elderberry/sambuco every 4 hrs, you can get it from WF. It really has helped us avoid/shorten coughs the last 2 cold seasons. And even if it does nothing, it’s pretty tasty.
Curious
When listing accomplishments on my resume, are there any statistics that aren’t good enough to include? For example, if I say that I increased something by 70%, is that good? Should I list it?Seems like a C grade to me. Ha!
Anonymous
It totally depends. Increasing something by 70% isn’t equivalent to doing 70/100 like a C grade would be. It could be great (yay, start-up revenue!) or awful.
Idea
I’ve heard that anything you can quantify is good. If you want to say, from $100mm to $170mm you can do that instead, whatever is standard in your industry.
Vicky Austin
Haha, Existing Thing before Curious Tackled It = 100%, Thing Now = 170%. I’d flaunt that like nobody’s business!
Curious
Thank you! This is a helpful way to look at it.
Anon
Appetizer ideas for pregnant women? Everything that pops into my head has either prosciutto or cold smoked salmon, both of which are no’s. Please help!
Anonymous
How fancy are you thinking? Chips and salsa/guac, bruschetta or other variations of things on small toasts, veggies and hummus/other dips, mini quiches or spanokopitas, crackers and cheese made from pasteurized milk…
Anon
Thanks for these ideas! I really like the mini quiche and spanokopitas idea! More ideas along the same lines of complicated? I guess this is a personal preference (since I’ll be eating too), I don’t really like bread-like things with dip-like things as I seem to lack the coordination to actually get any food into myself. So looking for more like bite-size one handed things. Thanks for making me think about this and define it, this is helpful already.
Anon
Look on the Emily Bites website – she has a lot of recipes that are made using wonton wrappers and mini cupcake tins. I’ve made the mini lasagna bites for parties before and they were a big hit.
Anon
Here’s the recipe I’ve used: https://emilybites.com/2011/07/lasagna-cupcakes.html
Anon
OP here – Thank you!!
SC
Hot dips like spinach and artichoke. Spiced nuts. Vegetarian flat breads (or with cooked/thoroughly heated meats). Hummus and pita and/or veggies. Mini meatballs.
apps
Mini-sandwiches (cucumber, curried chicken) mini-scones (can get at Whole Foods and similar). Sounds like a fun party!
Senior Attorney
Bacon-wrapped dates!
Pants that hide straight waist
I’ve seen lots of recommendations here for work pants for pear shapes. My body type is the opposite – narrow hips without much difference between waist and hips. Torso is normal length but maybe looks long relative to my short legs. Any tips on how to visually counteract these proportions? I wish I was more pear shaped!
Idea
From a styling blog I used to follow – a woman will normally want to look more womanly, so think of the “ideal” womanly shape, hourglass or whatnot, and try to recreate that on your body type.
If you don’t have hips, a shirt with a peplum that emphasizes or creates hips will look good.
Also, consider drawing attention away from your “straight” bottom to maybe enhance your top area – your torse, your breasts, something like that, with a nice neckline.
You will want to create a narrow line going down the center of your body to lengthen you.
You will want to draw a horizontal line – belt, or difference in colors or fabrics, probably at your natural waist to draw attention higher than your hips.
This is one of my favorite stylist blogs and I pulled out the article with your hip/waist description: https://insideoutstyleblog.com/2015/06/body-shape-bible-understanding-how-to-dress-i-shape-bodies.html
kiwanja
Wardrobe Q: my industry is business casual but we suit up for conferences or investor meetings. I have a camel hair pencil skirt that fits really well but I don’t have the matching jacket. I do, however, have a light yellow tweed blazer that is pretty professional. The two aren’t a suit set, but they look good together. Can I get away with it? I work in a very male dominated industry, so I’ve noticed that I / other women get a lot more leeway in terms of how we dress. Don’t want to be making any clothing faux pas however. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you ladies!! :)
anon
I don’t think whether you can “get away with” something is a good metric here. I think the question is whether it puts you in the best possible light. Generally I find that men tend to view women’s clothing that they don’t understand as being “wrong,” so I try my best to match what they are doing in situations where it matters (big meetings, interviews etc) so in this case, it means wearing a suit if they are all wearing suits and not stretching too far into what could be considered the female equivalent.
If your question is could you get away with it, then I say most likely. should you? that’s a different question and I say no.
Anon
I agree. If the men are wearing suits, no. If they are wearing dress pants and non-matching jackets, sure.
emma
I just got back from a conference- I normally telecommute (so pjs), am pregnant, and my field is male dominated and fairly causal (lawyer, but mostly work w/ engineers & local interest groups), and the weather was very different than what I expected it to be…. so I definitely pushed the bounds of decent conference wear recently. But, most people were dressed nicely biz causual- think your outfit sounds fine to me- the only place where it seems inappropriate would be with MOSTLY lawyers, or a conference w/ a majority of people from mostly conservative fields. You could also just leave the jacket off entirely and then it would like a suit w/out the jacket.
Anonymous
I’m a lawyer in D.C., and I’ll say the only time I see female lawyers in suits is picture day. (Disclaimer: not a litigator.) Everyone in my circle usually wears dresses/skirts with blazers that coordinate but don’t match, exactly what you’re describing. And I certainly think the women in my circle appreciate a beautiful blazer more than just another suit.
And what PP said about men not knowing what’s appropriate is absolutely correct. I was asked to step into a big meeting on a day when I was wearing flats, ankle pants, and an older, machine-washed-many-times cardigan, and mentioned to my boss that I wasn’t dressed appropriately and he looked at me and said, “Huh, ok, if you say so. I don’t really know women’s clothing.” This coming from a guy who’s always pretty nicely dressed himself.
Thank you gift
Hi ladies! What is a good thank you gift for a male colleague to thank him for providing tickets to an event such as a professional sporting event or symphony? If it were a woman, I’d send flowers but not sure if that would be appropriate. $50ish budget.
Vicky Austin
I’d go food if you don’t want to do flowers.
emma
Bottle of wine. 100%
Anon
Nothing…? Maybe I need more context. But I went to “would a male colleague send flowers or food to thank another male colleague for tickets to the football game?” No.
Anonymous
I agree. I’d offer a warm thank you, tell him how much you enjoyed the event, and reciprocate some time in the future if you can.
Boots and suits
I ordered this suit from WHBM. I loved it but it did not at all fit me as a petite pear. If you have the right shape for the pants, the whole thing could look great together.
And a question…I know it has been discussed here previously but the archives are hard to search. I recently moved to a new city with a more severe winter and need a pair of boots with good traction for my walk to work. Any suggestions?
Anonymous
https://www.amazon.com/Kamik-Womens-Momentum-Snow-Boot/dp/B00AZOCA68?th=1
Never too many shoes...
Sorel are my favourite brand for snow.
Torin
If you’re looking for something to wear all day that you won’t be changing out of, I love my Born boots. I believe most, if not all, of their leather boots have leather soles and a good amount of texture for traction. I wear them in most conditions other than the coldest and most icy, personally. For actual ice and sleet, I’d wear something more heavy duty, but if it’s just cold and normal conditions, Born all the way.
Torin
Leather boots have _rubber_ soles, sorry. Leather soles would be very impractical!
anonymous
I have an upcoming interview over lunch and I’m having a hard time deciding what to wear. The interviewer referred to the occasion as “casual interview over lunch.” Is a full suit too much? Of course, I would rather over dress than under dress. Thoughts on what to wear?? And colors??
Vanguard Managed Account
I know it’s late in the day, so I may end up reposting tomorrow.
I have a 401k though my employer with Vanguard. This account will have a $100k balance at the end of the year. I am in finance, am financially savvy but just cannot find the time to actively manage my own investments. It’s terrible, I know. I make a living advising people on their [specific asset type/non-cash] investments but spend every waking hour doing it and neglecting myself. I’m young enough and this account is substantial enough, and growing, that that needs to change.
Are managed accounts worth the cost? It seems it would cost me 30 bps with an account balance up to $250,000 per my company’s pre-negotiated fee schedule (rate goes down as the account balance grows). So, it’s a negligible amount of money. I should do this, right? What other questions do I need to ask beyond confirming performance history? The service is cancellable any time.
Emma
I love vanguard and have about $200k w them (a mix of retirement and non retirement investment). Their fees are super low and I just buy various funds with them (mixing risk and historic return).
Anonymous
Not worth it. Just do 90% S&P index (VFIAX) and 10% bonds.
Anonymous
I’m in finance too and go the other way – just getting a mix of index funds and/or retirement date funds. I know better than to try to beat the market and go instead for long term appreciation. I wouldn’t pay an investment firm to do more than the retirement-date balancing.
Anonymous
Not worth it for this amount. Stick it in a Vanguard Target Retirement Fund matched to your age or risk tolerance (if more aggressive then vanguard) and forget about it for a few years.
Anonymous
No way. Go read bogleheads.org which has great advice– set it and forget it. +1 to prev posters; pick a target date fund or stock allocation and leave it alone.