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Coffee Break: ‘Celina’ Pointy Toe Pump

Suede Pump: Pour la Victoire 'Celina' Pointy Toe PumpSome of the freshest heels I'm seeing involve block heels, like these 3.75″ suede heels from Pour La Victoire. They still read classic, but with a trendy twist — the neutral color helps keep them in the realm of the conservative. They're $275 at Nordstrom. Pour la Victoire ‘Celina' Pointy Toe Pump (If you're looking for a shorter heel, these Ann Taylor pumps have a similar kind of vibe and come in blush and navy; if the height is OK these Steve Madden heels are very similar.) (L-4)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

207 Comments

  1. Does anyone have experience with Axiom Law or a similar legal services company?

    1. Working for them, or using them as a provider of legal services?

      I can’t really comment on what it’s like to work for them, but the financial institution I work for uses them for legal document negotiation and some other contract work.

      The quality of the lawyers varies widely, to say the least. Some are excellent. Some, well, are really really not. There is a large emphasis on process (escalations, approvals) that takes up a lot of the negotiators’ time. It’s a lot of drudge work. I can’t really speak to pricing, unfortunately, but clearly my place of employ has determined that it’s worthwhile.

  2. Has anyone done a weekend in Arkansas? My husband and I live in Texas and are looking for an easy, long weekend away. We want to do something outside of Texas, but still close by, and we have heard Arkansas is supposed to be beautiful. Anyone have suggestions for a fun, but also restful weekend?

    1. I can’t make recommendations, but I’ve driven through twice and can confirm how gorgeous the scenery is! I was really surprised, not knowing much about the state.

      Check the Southern Living website – their travel section is so good for weekend trips.

    2. Two suggestions: Eureka Springs, kind of artsy spa town, and Bentonville, home to Crystal Bridges Art museum, and some surprisingly delish restaurants.

      1. +1 to all of this. Also we rented a great cabin from VRBO near Petit Jean State Park last year and it was AWESOME. It had the most wondering screened porch, and we just spent most of our time I also would recommend Devils Den if you want to go hiking. Arkansas is absolutely beautiful. I go camping (usually 1/2 tent and 1/2 cabin) there every summer for at least a week. Nothing charges my batteries better. Also there is a tiger/large cat sanctuary outside of Eureka springs at that you can sleep in a yurt at. The coolest experience of my life (well, at least top 10) was being woken up by the cats having their morning rawrs together. If you are only going to go hiking once in your life you have to do the Lost Valley Trail. Easy enough for beginners, but beautiful.

        1. *wonderful screen porch and we spent most of our time watching the rain and talking while sitting on the porch.

          I miss the edit feature.

    3. Fayetteville, next to Bentonville, is nice too. It’s the Austin of Arkansas, with flagship university and liberal & funky.

      Ozarks are best for rest, but Little Rock on the river is beautiful, too.

    4. Lifelong Arkansan here and am so happy to read this! All of the suggestions are wonderful ones. I would add Hot Springs, which is a unique “resort” town in Central Arkansas. It would be closer for you coming from Texas. The downtown area has lots of fun, historic things to see– old bathhouses, one of which is still operational, and lots of interesting relics from when real gangsters used to visit Hot Springs in the 20s. There are, true to the city’s name, hot water springs that flow up from the ground and are accessible at certain points downtown. The city is on Lake Hamilton, and there are other lakes nearby. You could see about renting a condo or lakehouse for your long weekend. Fun attractions are Garvan Woodland Gardens, Oaklawn horse racing (although this is the last weekend of racing season). I recommend the Pancake Shop or Colonial for breakfast, Cajun Boiler’s, Rolando’s, Rod’s Pizza Cellar, Cafe1217… I could go on! You could also make the 45 minute drive to Little Rock, walk the river trails, see the Clinton Presidential Museum, go boutiquing in The Heights…

      Fayetteville/Bentonville would be another three or so hours, but they are lovely and would be worth the drive, too. I would stay in downtown Fayetteville at the Chancellor Hotel. You would be on the square where they have the Farmer’s Market every Saturday. Lots of adorable shops on the square, and you could make the half hour drive to Bentonville to Crystal Bridges Museum. I recommend breakfast at Little Bread Company, and Hugo’s, Pesto Cafe, almost anything on Dickson Street (Doe’s for steaks, Bordino’s or Theo’s for “fancy” atmosphere). Stop by the big cat sanctuary mentioned above, or the Gentry Wild Wilderness drive thru safari (it’s exactly what it sounds like, ha).

      I love Arkansas and know you will have a great time!

    5. I’m from Arkansas and love it here, so I’m excited about this question.

      It kind of depends on what you like. There are tons of places where you can go have a very quiet weekend in nature. Devil’s Den mentioned above is wonderful. Petit Jean is also beautiful. That’s a reasonable driving distance to Little Rock, too, if you want a day “in town.” Little Rock has the Clinton Library and lots of great restaurants. There’s an arts center and a few other places like that. If you like a lake vacation, Greer’s Ferry is lovely. There’s a hotel there called Red Apple Inn that is great. If you like fishing, the White River is good, as are tons of the lakes. There’s also a little town in the Ozarks called Ponca that has a lot of hiking and canoeing, and an elk herd, which is a bit random.

      If you’re wanting a vacation in a small city, Hot Springs and Eureka Springs are pretty common vacation cities here. I like Eureka better because the restaurants are better, and it’s in the Ozarks, so the surroundings are beautiful. It’s funky with little shops and the like. Hot Springs has a bit like that, and some historic spas, but it’s also a bigger city (“bigger” is relative, here).

      If you go to northwest Arkansas (Fayetteville/Bentonville) DEFINITELY go to Crystal Bridges. It has a great American art collection, and the grounds are amazing. Lots of really good restaurants, but the one that’s sometimes overlooked that I always suggest is Monte Ne Chicken. You have to make a reservation. All they serve is fried chicken with green beans, corn, mashed potatoes, bean soup, homemade bread, and apple butter. As in, you cannot order any other food there. It’s amazing fried chicken, and a pretty cool experience.

    6. I’ve gone to the Ozarks every summer for most of my life. Eureka Springs is fun little artsy town with tons of great shops, cute restaurants and things to do. If it’s warm, you can go out to one of the nearby lakes and do a dinner cruise. There are also a few little live shows and tons of gorgeous scenery. Go to the church where you enter from the steeple (in town) and be sure to check out Thorn Crown Chapel – it’s a gorgeous glass and cedar all-faiths (if I recall correctly) chapel. Beautiful whether you are a person of faith or not. Enjoy!

  3. A bit belated, but thanks for all the suggestions on where to eat in Columbus the other day. We ended up at Northstar Cafe and it was excellent!

  4. sharing my FitBit experience – I just returned my Charge HR to the company after getting a rash from the rubber band. I wore it for quite a while with no issues, took it off for a week or so, and developed a rash on wearing it again. I contacted the company and they were quick to offer a refund. I think my mother purchased it at Kohls, and they had no problem issuing a check directly to me. The customer service people that I’ve been emailing with have been great, too. Effective communication and hassle-free.

    I really liked having it, as it made me conscious of my movement thruout the day (or lack of). I think I’m going to order the new model with either a leather or stainless steel band – does anyone have experience with the new FitBit Alta?

    1. I have the Alta and love it. I upgraded from the Charge HR, which was rather bulky. The Alta has a much slimmer profile and looks less fitness tech-y. I also appreciate that you can replace the bands if you want a different look. It doesn’t track your heartrate or flights of stairs climbed, but I think that those losses are more than compensated for by the reminders to move every hour. The other two new features that I love are the calendar reminder and the ability to read texts right from the screen.

    2. Seconding how good their customer service is– after my first one fell off they replaced it free; I lost the second and third of my own accord, and when the battery died on my 4th unexpectedly they replaced it right away too.

    3. I have an Alta and love it. It’s a slimmer, easier to wear design. And I like that you can replace the bands. I have the regular black one and the blush leather one. I’m planning the stainless one too. That would seem like a plus for you if the rubber was a problem. The leather one is great–super light and comfortable. I also heard a rumor that Tory Burch was going to start making bands for the Alta–if that’s your style.

      Agree with Anonymous on the features. Like having the texts, calendar updates, call alerts right on my wrists. The reminders to move are great. Don’t miss the heart rate monitor or stair tracker.

      It’s definitely the most comfortable, and most attractive, fitness monitor I’ve had.

    4. I’ve had the rash issues with my Garmin rubber band too. I know you’re now looking at leather or steel bands, but if anyone else is having this problem and wants to keep the rubber band, I’ve had success with regularly wiping down the band with rubbing alcohol.

  5. You guys, karma is the best. I was passed over for promotion and the external hire is floundering. That’s what they get.

    2. I’ve seen this happen too and have been in your shoes. My comment would be to evaluate the situation and see if you can contribute in a way that would make you a better candidate in the future, for this or any other job.

      1. I was called ‘harsh’ and ‘cold’ then a man was hired. It really had nothing to do with my skills.

        1. Yeah, people may act like you’re a bad person, but they’d be doing the exact same little tiny bit of smug dancing if they were in your shoes. It’s human nature. Obviously you aren’t screaming from the rooftops, but it’s okay to have just one second of satisfaction.

        2. Karma, nothing in my reply was meant to be unsupportive of you, personally. And I wasn’t saying that it was bad to feel a bit vindicated. I have had this exact thing happen to me – a less qualified man was promoted. He also crashed and burned. And I’ve seen it happen to friends.

          But! my point is – don’t get mad, get even. Improving/highlighting your abilities, “leaning in” and doing similar things can’t help but pay off for you. Either you’ll get a better job somewhere else where you are valued for your unique contribution. Or after the guy crashes and burns, someone might say “Let’s give Karma a chance – she’s done great work lately!”

      1. I hear you. But karma seems to be enjoyin fing the company’s struggles rather than the new hire’s.

          1. Yea happy the company is suffering. I actually feel kind of bad for the candidate, he’s just a pawn in all this. My boss was so set on not promoting a woman he hired a guy who was clearly under qualified

      2. I don’t think anyone in the West has “karma” correctly. It means “duty” in Sanskrit.

        1. I’m pretty sure that ‘dharma’ is duty in Sanskrit. Karma is basically (if I remember my yoga teacher back home in Chennai correctly) kind of ‘as you sow so shall you reap,’ in a nutshell. But it’s been years, so I could be wrong.

  6. I trust the hive for relationship advice, so here’s my situation. I’m 37 (almost 38), single, and have been looking for my life partner for a while now (i came close last year, but my ex-fiance broke things off because he realized he didn’t want kids). Since then, i’ve been dating steadily and with vigor, but the one person who has truly charmed me happens to live 3,000 miles away and has a small child with his ex (he and I met at a work conference several months ago and have stayed in close touch, talking on the phone and texting nearly every day, since then). We decided to take the next step and he is coming to visit for a long weekend in two weeks. Of course, I constantly get ahead of myself and am already worrying about how this is going to work out (if things go well, as I hope they do). I think most likely I’d have to move across the country since moving for him would mean much less time with his child. I’m prepared to do that (and in fact I could probably do it on a temporary basis through work) but I just get panicky at all the complications. Has anyone else been in a similar situation (or know someone who was) and seen things work out? thanks in advance for any reassurance. :)

    1. Don’t overthink it yet- maybe the weekend visit will make you change your mind! Slow down, take things one step at a time, and deal with the issue of moving when you’re more sure on whether you two are “meant to be”.

    2. You will figure out pretty quickly if this guy is worth moving 3,000 miles for. I know people who have moved overseas for their significant others, or across the country, and they make it work. Not the worst reason to pack up and move.

    3. Yes, just enjoy being where you are. When I was first dating Lovely Fiance I would get all up in my head about how things were going to work out, and my therapist kept saying “tap the brakes.” I think that was great advice. Just concentrate on the present and it will work out if it’s meant to be.

    4. You guys haven’t even properly dated yet – slow down and take it one step at a time!

    5. I agree with all the advice to just take it one step at a time but I wanted to say, I love your description of this man “as the one person who has truly charmed me”!

    6. I do know someone who moved. They dated long distance for almost a year, then she moved to his city. They dated for another few months before getting engaged, then married a few months after that. Whole thing was about 2 years from meeting to marriage. She’s mid-30s and really wants kids. They seem happy together, and he seems like a decent guy, so I hope everything works out.

    7. I moved across the country for my now husband and it was the best decision I ever made. We were professional acquaintances who developed a romantic relationship, and it moved very quickly – I was engaged and moved across the country within 5 months of us starting to date. I gave up a job that I LOVED (and still miss madly) and a city that I adore (where all of my friends and family live) – but I wouldn’t change things for the world. You can always find a new job, and I’ve really been able to get perspective on how much I relied on my job to provide my happiness, when in reality, family is the most important thing in life. So I say go for it! I’m a natural worrier too, and while there was always a voice inside me telling me that what I was doing was crazy (it still feels a little crazy to me, 18 months later), you have to remember that you only have one life to live, so you should make the most of it!

    8. This is basically me (well, me 2 years ago). See what happens when he comes to visit, have fun and get to know him a little better. Since you haven’t even started dating, I agree with the advice not to get ahead of yourself. That said, if you’re going to get into a LDR of this distance in your late 30s, you both have to be pretty committed from the start and one of you has to be willing to move at some point if you want the relationship to progress. You should be thinking about these things earlier than usual. My boyfriend and I had been friends for years before we started dating (at which point he had already moved), so we had serious discussions about where we were going and who would move right away. Enjoy things for now, but before you get too invested, make sure you are both on the same page. Fingers crossed for you!

      1. thanks to both of you! i’m hoping for something like Anonymous’s story above – I’d love to get serious quickly and hopefully start a family, and everything I know about this man fills my heart with hope for those things. Based on my conversations with him so far, I think we’re on the same page but at some point someone will have to move, and I’m lucky enough to have a gov’t job where I should be able to transfer (either on a temporary or ultimately permanent basis) to new city. I will definitely take it one step at a time, though. :)

    9. I started dating my husband, long-distance, at almost 38. I knew before he came to my town for the first date that I would have to move if it worked, due to his also having a kid with his ex-wife. (We’d been friends for a long time before things took a turn). Before the date weekend, I spent a long time thinking about whether I’d be willing to move. Then, we had a long-discussion that first weekend about our wants, timelines, goals, etc. We’re now married, and I’m pregnant. It worked out. I got some great advice, which I’ll add to things I learned:

      You’re in a really good position being able to move temporarily for work. I’d do long distance for 6 months to a year, then move out and see how it works. Get your own place. Make your own friends. When it gets hard (and I’m of the belief that moves are hard, even if made for a good reason), remind yourself that you made a choice and it wasn’t foisted on you by fate or him. Don’t rush an engagement, and don’t feel like you have to see a bad relationship to marriage just because of all the effort you made to have it. (It really helped me to have a worst-case-scenario plan because I wouldn’t have stayed in the new place if it hadn’t worked out and I always need a worst-case-scenario plan.) If you decide to get married, rush the wedding if you’re having one. You can plan a great party in six months.

  7. A friend of mine is at home recovering from a minor procedure, and she’s so bored. What are your favourite lazy day activities? I sent her flowers, but I can’t take off the day to just go hang out. I usually watch tons of Netflix, but she’s definitely bored by that.

    1. 1. Old school computer games– something slow and easy like Oregon Trail or Sim City.
      2. Researching future travel ideas.
      3. Duolingo if she wants to brush up language skills.
      4. “How to” type videos on Youtube– makeup style, a craft, a recipe– anything really.

    3. Send her a fancy makeup palette and makeup remover wipes, with instructions to send you selfies of all the “looks” she’s created? Point her to youtube for inspiration.

      1. Along similar lines, some of those nail decals that come in cool polka dots and leopard print. A few days away from work seem like the perfect time to master that skill and have fun with some not-quite-work-appropriate patterns!

    4. Magazines? I had a minor surgery earlier this year and alternated between brain candy and more substantial ones, like the New Yorker.

    5. Is she able to do some small crafting (not sure if her hands/arms/upper body were part of the procedure)? Joanne’s or Michael’s might have learn to knit/crochet kits that would be good for someone stuck to the couch.

  8. Does anyone have small but rewarding life “tweaks” to share? Recently, I started downloading audiobooks from the library for my commute which has been amazing! Also, started using Drysol (saw it recommended here) which has completely solved that problem. Anyone else have small but rewarding changes to recommend?

    1. Okay, this is small and ridiculous but it has been awesome: You know how measuring spoons come on a ring? I decided to assert dominion over my measuring spoons and I took them off their ring and put them in a mug that I keep on the kitchen counter. And I also bought a duplicate set so now I never run out while I’m cooking. I was probably the very last person on the planet to think of this, but I pass it along just in case… #gamechanger

      1. I lose them without the ring to keep them in order! That pesky 1/8th teaspoon is a rogue

      3. Slightly different, but I stand all of my makeup brushes up in a cup, and I do this with the hotel glasses anytime I travel. It works a lot better for me than having them all laying in a drawer that would constantly need wiped down, or in a brush kit that I’d always have to get out and open up and have the little cover flapping closed (I don’t know why that annoys me but it does). I just make sure to lay them on their side hanging off the edge of the counter when wet, but otherwise they go in the cup with the brush facing up.

    2. I bought a lighted magnifying mirror for my bathroom. It really helps with eyebrow tweezing and makeup application.

    3. The changes I am recommending may not make your life easier. However, they are rewarding if you are not doing them already.
      Please carry your own reusable bag for grocery shopping
      Please carry water in your reusable water bottle

      I have been doing this (and more) for a long time and it is very rewarding to do my bit to reduce waste. It has made my life easier because I don’t see much clutter in our house.

      1. I am all for recycling, using reusable water bottles, etc., but there are a lot of studies that say that using a reusable grocery bag is risky from a food safety perspective. Perhaps if you’re vegetarian and not buying raw meat it’s less of an issue, but I would rather harm the earth slightly and not get food poisoning every few months.
        I also find a lot of uses for plastic grocery bags around my house, from transporting shoes when I travel to carrying my lunch to work. I don’t consider them clutter. They’re really useful and I’d have to go out and buy disposable bags for this stuff if I didn’t get them from the store. I actually used to live in California and not being able to get plastic grocery bags at the store for free was a huge annoyance – and I ended up just buying plastic bags, so all it did was hurt my wallet without helping the earth.

        1. “I would rather harm the earth slightly and not get food poisoning every few months.” What?! The grocery stores I’ve been to will always put the meat containers into a plastic bag unless you instruct them otherwise. If you use cotton bags or another washable material, you can always run them through the wash now and then to alleviate any fears of contamination– I’ve been using reusable bags for over a decade and not once have I had food poisoning, bag-induced or otherwise, nor have I heard anything of this risk.

          Reusable bags can be used to transport personal items much of the time (and then you can just throw them in the wash if it’s something like shoes). I still find myself forgetting my bags once in awhile so I’ll always have a couple of plastic bags around when they’re truly needed, and I still get some of my produce in plastic bags when I don’t have a choice.

          You may be annoyed by reusable bags, but it’s not risky to use them! And it should hurt your wallet– we need to subsidize the environmental impact somehow.

          1. In the part of California I used to live in, plastic bags were banned and grocery stores weren’t allowed to give them to you, even for meat. They could use paper bags (which you had to pay for), but meat juices can soak through a paper bag. If you like using a reusable bag that’s fine for you, but I’m very glad I live in a less hippie place now and can get plastic bags at the grocery store. And I don’t think the washing machine kills bacteria as effectively as a dishwasher does – that’s basically what those studies I read said, that you think you’re getting the bag clean by running it through the washing machine, but you’re really not.

          2. And yet I don’t think anybody has ever gotten sick from using a reusable grocery bag. Ever. Go figure.

          4. Where I live in California, most grocery stores have produce bags you can use to stick the meat in.

          5. Yes, I live in Chicago, where a similar ban is in effect, so I’m familiar with the nuisance. If your concern about contamination from meat is what’s holding you back, simply pay for a bag for your meat and use reusable bags for the rest of your items. It’s not that hard (the rest of the world does it). And per the article you linked to”washing the bags, either by hand or in a washing machine, eliminated 99.9 percent of the pathogens.”

          6. That article was a response to Senior Attorney’s comment that nobody ever got sick from a reusable bag. I may be wrong about the washing machine thing, but either way people clearly aren’t actually washing the bags after every use, and plastic bag bans do result in increased contamination and sickness. I’m not actually sure that the effect of doing a load of laundry every time I go grocery shopping (I don’t do much laundry at home since most of my work clothes are dry clean only) would be worse for the environment than using and recycling plastic bags.

          7. Huh. Interesting story about a study conducted by the people who make plastic grocery bags. Which nevertheless includes this: “However, washing the bags, either by hand or in a washing machine, eliminated 99.9 percent of the pathogens.”

          8. But you don’t have to do a load of laundry every time. Simply get a plastic bag for your meat products, or just throw one bag in with your regular laundry. It’s not complicated.

          9. Since you’re so concerned about meat contamination, I’m guessing you don’t reuse the plastic bag that had meat in it. So your whole argument about having to go buy plastic bags falls apart on that point, because you’re not getting lunch sacks out of your meat anyway. Like AJ says, get a plastic bag for your meat and use reusable for the rest. I have roughly 50 reusable bags from shopping at Lululemon and event giveaways, and so do most other women I know since it’s been the trend to give those bags away for years now. I can accumulate plenty of “used” reusable bags and then do one large load every couple of months to wash them.

      2. Yes..I am a vegetarian.So I have never faced the issue of purchasing meat/fish etc. But if I were to purchase, I would just get my reusable container and get meat/fish directly in them. If the store doesn’t allow that, then I would allow them to pack it and then I would put it in the container. The container would go to my reusable bag to carry it home. That way, you don’t have to worry about not cleaning your bag properly. You just need to clean your container just like any other dishes you use.Or as the poster above said, use reusable bag for vegetarian food and plastic just for meat.

        You can get many alternatives to plastic bags if you google. I absolutely think plastic bags can be used in many ways. But I also think we can find alternatives easily and it will become a practice with time. Like the poster above said, I also used to forget taking reusable bags some times, so I now have one in my car always. At least from my perspective, it is a tiny tweak to your lifestyle and not much of a hassle.

        These are the only two things I request people to do when they solicit advice as I believe these will not impact the quality of life of people in any negative way and can be done easily. I can go on about reducing consumption etc, but I don’t because people have their needs, their perspectives on life and whatever makes them happy in their lives. I don’t argue on this as people should realize on their own the amount of damage we are causing and minimizing them. Heck, I don’t even argue with my husband who thinks using plastic bags and one time use water bottles is no big deal. I do what I think is right, my husband does whatever I do because he feels guilty now about generating so much waste in the house when I don’t.

    4. Check out podcasts too, for your commute.

      If you’re a renter like me, take out your crappy shower head and install a nice one. It’s really easy to do and doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. It makes a big difference!

      1. I did the showerhead change and am so glad I did. It’s really easy to install so I’ve taken it with me when I changed apartments, and having one with a hose makes a huge difference when giving my thick-coated dog a bath. Using cups of water took forever and I still never got all the shampoo out!

    5. I started keeping duplicates of my razor, nail clippers, deodorant, and other necessities in my travel bag. It’s so nice not to run around thinking “ok, I need to pack that, but will have to grab it in the morning so I can use it after my shower…” and I end up forgetting those items less.

      1. I do that too. I’m obsessed with travel sized items! Sephora is a great resource for this.

      2. I started doing this, too. My trick is when I get near the end of something (say, contact solution), I switch them out and use up the one from the travel bag, so they don’t sit too long. Same with toothbrushes – I can use old one for a trip, then throw it away when I leave (no worries about packing wet toothbrushes, either!).

        1. I do this with toothbrushes too!

          I keep moisturizer by the bathroom sink and the kitchen sink. The one in the bathroom gets used up much quicker, so every time I run out in the bathroom, I move the kitchen moisturizer to the bathroom and put the new moisturizer in the kitchen. Keeps the kitchen bottle from getting icky and splattered from sitting out for a long time.

        2. I keep the toothbrushes from the dentist and use them for travel; throwing them out when packing to leave the hotel.

      3. I do the same thing. Absent work clothes, shoes and clutches I could grab my bag and go! Reduces travel stress so much!

    6. I just got as dyson cordless stick vacuum and it’s awesome. i just do a little vacuum cleanup every few nights and the house is really in shape.

    7. Keeping duplicates of my toiletries in both bathrooms so I can take a shower in either bathroom without having to carry my shampoo across the house. It took me about 4 years of living there before I thought of that.

      Having a special set of rags (a stack of brown and white plaid washcloths from target) that I keep in a drawer in my kitchen to use with all purpose cleaner rather than using a paper towel to wipe down the counters. Something about having them right there makes me more likely to use them.

      I also have a fully stocked bag of travel sized toiletries pre-packed and in a drawer in my bathroom.

      I started buying iced coffee in half gallon containers from the store rather than going out and getting it every morning. I still go out from time to time, but it saves me a lot of time.

      1. We recently moved into a bigger house and now my teenage daughter has her own bathroom and shower and it took me months before I realized I needed to buy another face wash! We kept stealing it back and forth between bathrooms, haha! (Also, she somehow has perfect skin and I am old and STILL get breakouts!?)

    8. I keep a duplicate of almost everything at my office. Extra water bottle, full set of makeup, a complete “emergency” court outfit, workout clothes, thank you notes, hand lotion, chapstick, blanket (for under the desk), kleenex, small fridge stocked with snacks and drinks, curling iron, hairbrush and hairspray, comfy shoes, pretty shoes… everything. This way I don’t have to anticipate what I might need on any given day, because I already have it there. I don’t have to schlep a lot of things back and forth, because I have it there already.

      I also keep two weeks worth of little instant oatmeals and eat breakfast when I get here instead of trying to eat it at home. It gives me 10 minutes to clear out any stray emails, review my to-do list, and set my intention for the day. The little oatmeals are Quaker “Real Medleys” and come in a zillion flavors. They make me so happy in the mornings!

    9. On the back of my pantry door, I hang one of those shoe organizers with the various compartments – it stores protein shaker cups (those take up too much valuable cabinet real estate!), plastic forks/spoons for packing lunch, and some pre-packaged snacks.

    10. I bought one of those plug-in extra outlet things that gives me three outlets and 2 usb charging ports. I hang 2 cords on it (lightning and old icharger). I never have to try and find the wall plug in or cords when I need a charge.

    11. Late to the party but top tips:
      Pact coffee and razor refills delivered on a schedule
      A box (lined with a bag) for donations in the hall cupboard
      Laptop charger, phone charger, and wireless mouse in both office and home office
      Reuse jam jars for everything (food storage, bathroom cupboard organisation)

      1. I think thicker heels can look interesting and some are trendy right now, but the proportions of this shoe are all off– a more delicate, pointed toe box with that heel just makes it a Frankenshoe.

  10. Do people with moderate incomes hired interior decorators? I have a vision, but am struggling to execute, and I need help buying the right sofa, arranging furniture in my small living room/kitchen and finding the right finishing touches. This is a house we own, and we just upgraded our floors throughout and are trying find new sofas and other living room things to make it look more “adult” if that makes sense (no more secondhand couch from my parents).

    Any anecdata on the cost of decorating and buying help? Presume they will work to find pieces in my price range, but what does an actual interior decorator’s services cost?

    1. Yes, they do, and I’m strongly considering doing same for our next move. I believe they charge a percent of your purchases (probably not helpful since I don’t know the percent). Also, many, many furniture stores will provide you with an interior decorator at no charge. Ethan Allen, Stickley, Bassett. You may want to start there if you are concerned with the cost and see what recommendations they come up with. Of course, they will only recommend their own products, so perhaps better to pay an independent person. My view is that furniture is so expensive, it makes sense to buy what you love and make sure that everything somewhat loosely coordinates together, otherwise you waste money replacing and trying to find a different finishing touch which somehow completes your vision.

      1. We paid ours hourly, and that’s totally the way to go. I think she ended up saving us money in the long run because she could pass on her decorator discount, she knew our budget and helped us stick to it, she was more efficient with our money than me just randomly buying stuff, etc.

        2. +1 here, too!

          My designer did my house beautifully and almost all of the furniture was way, way less expensive than Ethan Allen, Stickley, or Bassett. Way less. Just like with fashion, you can do a mix of high and low end items in your home and a good hourly-rate designer can help you do that. My designer only charged $100/hour for her and $25/hour for her assistant, plus she found great deals on furniture, etc that I wouldn’t have found.

    2. +1 to the furniture store route. Maybe we got lucky, but we’ve so far had a good experience with our furniture store (independent store, not single manufacturing chain). He came out to our house to see the space, drew up a couple of room plans, pulled a variety of furniture choices, and helped select fabric. We bought everything through the store so it was complimentary. Had we decided not to buy there, I think there was some charge for that work (which looked to be several hours at least), maybe $200?

    3. There are a number of designers these days who basically design a room for you for a flat fee, but then you go and do all the shopping etc. If youre short on time, this isn’t the way to go. But if you need inspiration or want someone to take the guess work out of it, this is awesome.

    4. This is delayed: If you want someone to bounce ideas off of who is connected to the industry and has a lot of experience with interior design in a non-professional capacity, I would absolutely love to work on it with you for free.

      It’s a big passion of mine but not something I am ready to make the investment to do full time, I just think it’s super fun and have been able to work on a lot of spaces through family/friends like this.

  11. I have a question about language use at work. I often use “softening” language, like “I believe that the files were sent to Jimmy in March”. My boss doesn’t like this–he says I should say “the files were sent to Jimmy in March”. I think that this is just the way I write, and that it’s a gendered thing. Also, it leaves open the slight possibility that the files were not sent to Jimmy in March (I wouldn’t stake my life on it, since I didn’t send them). I see that his way is more assertive and whatnot, but no one besides him seems to take my phrasing amiss, and I feel like he’s saying “be more like me–a man.” Thoughts?

    1. Don’t know, but I do the same, and it’s entirely because I don’t want to be wrong later. Maybe if I knew how to recover from being wrong better (getting defensive is my current strategy, whether I want it to be or not!) I would be more comfortable being definitive upfront.

    2. Your boss is correct. While I generally hate that women’s language is policed so much, we really do have to be careful about all the softening language we use. I tend to say “I think that…” instead of getting to the point or “I just wanted to check in…” instead of “I’m checking in…”. You are receiving feedback that your language is not only too “soft,” but that it’s also unclear – were the files sent to Jimmy in March or not? I would definitely work on this if I were you – it’s definitely a struggle, but it can only help.

    3. My boss has cut “believe” and “feel” out of our business vocabulary. We are engineers, we don’t believe or feel anything. We advise, analyze, design, etc. Also, “in order to”. It’s gone. Ex. “We purchased post-its in order to improve note-taking” becomes “We purchased post-its to improve productivity”. I’m a big fan of clean and concise writing.

      Again, it’s work, there are no feelings. Unless you’re writing/speaking to a secretary. Beware.

    4. My college writing instructor always told us to stop writing “I believe” or “I think” because that language makes a fact sound like an opinion. FWIW the instructor was a woman.

      1. +1 a female law school writing instructor told our primarily female class that we shouldn’t use “I think” or “I believe” when speaking.

        Now that I’m more senior, I see junior female associates doing this, and it really does make me think less of their work product. When I ask two associates to research something and one gives me The Answer and the other tells me, “I think this is The Answer,” it’s hard not to place greater trust in the person who presents their findings with more certainty.

        1. As a midlevel associate, I find this discussion interesting. I tend to couch my analysis with “I believe” or “my understanding is” when I’m being asked to present my interpretation on a very complex issue that I recognize has nuances that extend beyond the facts I’ve been given (I’m transactional and frequently don’t have the benefit of having been in all the meetings with the business parties to know their motivations). If a junior sent me a conclusion that sounded like “It’s this. It’s DEFINITELY this.” and they were dead wrong, I’d question their ability to issue spot.

          1. I take your point, but then again, if a junior sent me something with “I believe” all over it and it was wrong, I would still question their abilities and, on top of that, I would question their judgment in failing to come to me with questions if they felt less than certain about the assignment. I’d rather work with someone who unwittingly got the wrong answer than someone who thought they might have the wrong answer but didn’t tell me about it until their assignment was due.

          3. I work in a science field, so when I give my senior project reviewers my completed work product for review, I say, “the conclusion for this project is this, because of these facts” when we discuss the project.

          4. I think the key is for speech to reflect both the context and your level of certainty. If you’re asked for an off-the-cuff answer about a complicated issue by a colleague and you’re not sure, qualify it. If you’ve done weeks of research, don’t. If you’re going to someone for advice, make sure they know what you know and what you don’t. If you’re trying to persuade someone else, you also need to not qualify it; if you’re trying to make yourself look extremely reasonable, on the other hand, you might want to. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer.

          5. Anon at 3:34, that makes sense, but I’m also considering those interim discussions prior to the final work product*, e.g., e-mailing a partner to ask for additional information that might affect a transaction draft or the course of research (e.g., “I’ve found an exception to the requirement you asked about. Based on the information I have it may be available for our client, but I’d like to discuss the background in more detail with you” might be considered “I believe” couching language).

            Also, I’ve seen the men in my office get chewed out for making assumptions on what they think the client plans to do. They’re a little bit lazy and don’t want to follow up, and also want to show off that they “know what’s market for this provision.” So they proceed with drafting an agreement with those terms and not even bracketing it. This may be a firm culture thing, but the male partners here have expressed that if they are unavailable for discussions, they would prefer we bracket it to show we understand there are multiple possibilities and the bracketed term is our best conclusion based on information given and general market knowledge. They would rather have us to get the draft 90% of the way and fill in the last 10% themselves, than have to undo a lot of incorrect drafting (and they often do this intentionally because they don’t consider it efficient to try to get a junior associate to understand the more complex client background that’s needed to do that last 10%).

    5. I’m interested in the responses here. I would’ve also said “I believe” if I had not personally sent the files. If I had, I would’ve said “I sent them to Jimmy in March.” Under the circumstance, I believe (hah) what you said was appropriate.

      1. If didn’t personally send the files, I’d say “I understand that the files were sent to Jimmy in March”.

      2. I would say, “According to [record I found in file], we sent the files to Jimmy in March.”

        1. Yep. I would find out the answer, and then cite whatever I used to determine the answer.

    6. I see two possibilities: (1) A lawyer who is being accurate with language: i.e. “I believe” means “to my knowledge X is true, but I have not verified X.” OR (2) couching language so as to be less direct or forthright. If it is (1), only use “I believe” when you do not hold the responsibility to verify X. If it is (2), then your boss is correct.

      1. Or, (c) ask Jimmy and give your boss a direct yes/no answer, which is what he is ultimately looking for.

        2. This. If you don’t know the answer, go find it out before answering the question instead of answering vaguely. If you do know the answer, there’s no need to hedge.

    7. Be more like him, because he is your boss, and because he is right. Softening language makes you seem less competent, less capable, and less like someone likely to succeed.

      1. If you need to hedge or you can’t check what actually happened before providing the answer (because that does happen) I tend to write I understand X happened on Y date, of Jimmy stated that the files were sent to X person on Y date.

  12. Any recommendations for a lightweight PC laptop that would be easy to travel with and functional for grad school? I don’t anticipate needing to run huge data analyses or anything like that, but I’ll need something that can handle a lot of typing and classwork and who knows what else. I currently run Windows on my MacBook Pro, but I think I’d rather save money this time around and go with a PC. TIA!

    1. Yay, Kat, I like the style of these pump’s, but the heels are to clunky for the manageing partner to approve. He said I need to look svelte, not clunky. I think I agree.

      As for the OP, if you dont want Apple, You could get a MACBOOK AIR, but if you want a good PC running Window’s (FOOEY!) you should look at the YOGA machine, which is I think made by IBM, that DAD gave to Grandma Leyeh. She is NOT computer saavey, but she is abel to use it and send FACEBOOK post’s to us. It is VERY fast, mabye faster then my Macbook Air, and it run’s on Window’s. Grandma Leyeh takes it to Starbuck’s with her, and she send’s Emails to me from there telling me my tuchus is to big, so she must be connected there also.

    2. I know you want a PC, but my MacBook Air is SO light, and has the most amazing battery life. I got a refurbished one, which saved me a couple hundred dollars, and it still has that mac protection or whatever, so I can go to the genius bar with problems, etc.

    3. I would do a search on the Wirecutter website. It’s a ‘rette fave for techy product reviews.

    4. I got a very light ASUS laptop that’s super sleek and nice and powerful and everything that I need it to be for around $600. Highly recommend.

    5. A colleague and I were looking at the Dell website the other day and they have a limiter for weight in addition to screen size.

    6. I’m obsessed with my Lenovo ThinkPad X1 Carbon. Obsessed. I got it through work, but when I leave BigLaw I’m buying myself one for home. It’s light, thin, easy to pack, fits in all my totes, and vert reliable.

      1. I have an X1 as well and it’s going strong after 3+ years. It’s the best Lenovo/IBM laptop I’ve ever had. Totally worth the premium. This bad boy is THE BEST (and bonus, it has the little nipple in the middle of the keyboard, which I much prefer to a touchpad).

  13. When applying for anonymized job openings advertised by a recruiter/headhunter (“firm seeks mid-level associate”), do you include a cover letter? Generally the ad says “to apply, email resume to Jane.”

    Is it ok to mention in the email to keep me in mind for other positions? I’m casually looking to move.

    Any tips in general about dealing with recruiters would be appreciated.

    1. No CL in this situation. And yes you can say you’re casually looking and are interested in this position. They’ll likely want to set up a call so they can talk about what you’re looking for.

  14. Piggybacking off the name change question from earlier, I’ll be getting divorced soon, and I will be changing my name back to my maiden name. Any advice on how to handle this? I would prefer to not show First Maiden (formerly Last), and I think for work both my married name email and maiden name email would be directed to me.

    1. I don’t think you have to do anything with this. Just make the switch and particularly if both emails will be coming to you the information will all come around. You’ll either get questions about the name change, handle as you like, but I suspect you won’t get that many.

      Will business cards/letterhead (if still actual letterhead) all be ready at the same time? If not then that’s something to take into consideration.

      1. Agreed you don’t have to do this. But be prepared for some people to ask if you got married and congratulate you.

        1. If they do congratulate you, grin with all of the teeth and say THANKS, I’M HAPPY FOR ME, TOO!

          1. When I changed my name back after the divorce and people asked if congratulations were in order, I said “They definitely are, although not perhaps for the reason you think!”

            Name changes are a pain but they’re over quickly and then life goes on.

    2. I changed my name after my divorce back to my maiden name, and I just did it. It wasn’t a huge deal and most people didn’t make a big deal of it.

      I had one person ask if I got married, and I said “no, I got un-married”. That was the end of that.

      1. Yup, exactly. Your office should set it up so that emails now automatically come to your new address and then you can send out a blast to people you work with regularly saying “hey, [x] is my new email address.” For everyone else, just respond from your new email address and let them know ad hoc that this is your new email address.

  15. I’ve been sick pretty much all winter and I feel like I should start taking some sort of vitamins to help improve my overall health. I’m in my early 30s, no kids, not TTC anytime soon. Suggestions?

    1. I’ve kept taking prenatal multivitamins post-kids because I find my hair and skin is better. Also take omega 3s and extra vitamin D (live in Canada).

    3. The MegaFood brand was recommended to me by a nutritionist and I swear I feel better since I started taking their one-a-day. I also take Ultimate Flora 50 billion probiotics. The combination has made a big difference in my energy level.

    4. Vitamin C drops help me a lot. I take one daily and more if I feel a sickness coming on. I don’t eat a lot of fruit though (although I do eat veggies pretty regularly).

    5. Sleep? I didn’t recognize how sleep deprived I was until I….wasn’t. In addition to vitamins and water as already suggested.

      I’m pregnant and have a grubby toddler in daycare whose nose has not stopped running all winter and who has RSV twice. And I have been hanging in there with not even a headcold!

    6. Vitamins do not actually improve overall health unless you have a diagnosed deficiency.

      1. +1. Also, there’s no guarantee that the “vitamins” you are buying actually contain any vitamins, since it’s an unregulated industry.

    7. The best thing to do is eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, exercise, sleep, wash your hands, get a flu shot, and to go to the doctor for a physical to see if you have a deficiency in something.

    8. I take nature-made B-stress vitamins when I’m feeling run down. My advice is to get some sleep, exercise!!!!, and eat healthy. Also, give your house a good cleaning and open the windows (seriously) just to make sure no germs are hanging around. I know ppl who have repeated illness in their house that they can’t get rid of and opening the windows helps to get fresh air in.

  16. Help me decide what to wear! I’m about to graduate law school and will be working in the tiny city I grew up in. No job yet, but tomorrow I’m meeting with my top choice firm for lunch at the nicest restaurant within 100 miles. The firm, like our town, is quite small, just four attorneys. I met with them over Spring Break and it went very well. So, this lunch is my second time meeting with them. (The firm’s owner and I will be meeting one-on-one some time after the lunch, so it’s the second of three.)

    For the first interview, I wore a gray skirt suit and cream blouse. Tomorrow, I’m wearing a navy skirt suit, but I don’t know which way to go with the blouse. My options are: a navy and white striped silky button up, a grassy green blouse, or a burgundy button up. I’m in the Midwest and the weather has just turned beautiful this week, so I want to look Spring-appropriate but obviously still very professional.

      2. Yes. Burgundy will be pretty but less spring-like than the green or navy & white stripe.

  17. I have a question that’s kind of embarrassing so I’m posting it anonymously.

    Does anyone else wax the back of their neck and their nape hair? I have long hair but I have a few short hairs that won’t stay in up dos or ponytails no matter how much product or bobby pins I use. They always fall out and hang loose in a curl. I hate them. I also have two ‘trails’ of hair (one on each side) that go about an inch down my neck. That hair is only like a quater of an inch long.

    I know someone who has a pixie and her hairline at her neck is so clean and nice looking. I asked her what her secret was and she told me she gets her hairline and neck waxes every time she goes in for a trim. I’ve never heard of this before but I’m thinking about trying it. If anyone has ever done this before I would love to hear you experience.

    1. This is not embarrassing in the realm of hair removal. Go do it and report back, we’re curious.

    2. I maintain a pixie, but instead of waxing, I get my neck shaved with clippers below my hairline.

      1. I don’t have a pixie, but I have an angled bob and the shorter length in the back means my neck is exposed. I found that shaving my neck hair meant it grew back too quickly and I would have to get it maintained between cuts otherwise it would look weird. I get my neck hair waxed now and like OP’s friend that’s enough for me to only need to get it done when I go for a cut and not in between cuts.

        It stings a bit but nothing too bad (imo). If you do go this route and decide to do it I recommend that you do it on a day you have off and don’t have to be anywhere, because depending on your skin type there may be some redness for a few hours afterward.

      2. Same here – it gets shaggy fast. I get a kick out of asking my husband to shave my neck.

      3. My stylist does this when she cuts my pixie. She also does my sideburns and around my ears. I go in every 5 weeks and have never worried about it. I have fine, very dark brown hair.

      4. YMMV, but I have never had my hair grow quicker from having it trimmed, nor have I had to touch up my neck between visits (which is every 5 weeks). My hair is also blonde, so minor growth would be less noticeable. I suppose it depends on how your hair grows. I think it would be worth trying before waxing if you have sensitive skin.

    3. Belle at CapHillStyle posted about this sometime in the past six months (?), maybe. You’re definitely not the only person who has thought of it!

    4. I have in the past. I liked it. I’d consider doing it again, but I’m not bothered by it lately.

    5. I have those hairs too, mine are super curly ringlets, I love them and think they’re cute! When I had a pixie I got the back of my neck shaved.

    6. Oh my god I didn’t know that was a thing. I have been battling the exact same problem my entire life. Please report back, I think I need this in my life.

    7. Super late but I did this! To be fair, I have a low hairline in the back with low pointy corners (horns?) on each side. I had it waxed into a more normal looking hairline. So, it wasn’t just the errant strays. Worst idea ever! Burning, angry ingrowns that hurt like no ones business. I had long hair over it so the products probably contributed, but it was awful! Now I have my stylist clean up what I call my “ponytail line” with a buzzer. It’s embarrassing to ask for but it does the job.

  18. I decided to host a brunch party on Saturday and need ideas…

    I’d love recs on your favorite brunch party items. TIA!

    1. Not sure if you mean food or decor or activities or what. For food, I loooove challah French toast but it’s hard to do if you’re cooking for a big group and/or you all want to eat at the same time. Things that work really well for groups are quiches/frittatas and baked goods that you make in advance like banana bread or cinnamon rolls.

      1. Or just make a casserole/bread pudding version of french toast- my favorite has a caramelized pecan and brown sugar topper that makes it feel a little fancier.

    3. Mimosas. A make-your-own mimosa bar if you have the space and want to get fancy.

    4. Thanks everybody – keep them coming! To clarify – I’m more focused on food. particularly protein and veggies.

    5. -The Reluctant Entertainer’s sausage egg and kale strata is always a crowd pleaser
      -Bacon wrapped potatoes, make double OR bacon on a stick, so easy and people love it
      -mimosas and bloody maries
      -fruit salad

  19. Have y’all heard about Hillary’s skit with de Blassio? That’s pretty dang terrible. Don’t you think it would be all.over.the.news if a Republican had said that?

    1. It was all.over.the.news. That’s how you heard about it. But if you actually watch it, I didn’t find it problematic. But don’t worry, Hillz totally got called a whore yesterday so she isn’t getting a free pass on mindless hatred.

      1. +1

        Making a joke about “colored people time” is not great, but it’s also not “pretty dang terrible” as compared to calling women wh*res, s!uts/pr*stitutes, stating that blacks “can’t get jobs because they have forehead tattoos,” saying Mexico sends their r*pists to our country, saying that a woman’s body has a way of just “shutting that whole thing down” when she is r*ped, Georgia and North Carolina’s recent stinkfests over LGBT rights, saying that Muslim neighborhoods should be patrolled, and every time a republican has ever implied that blacks vote democrat because they want “free stuff.”

        That’s just the stuff I could think of off the top of my head.

        1. Also SHE didn’t make the joke, DiBlasio made it and I’m not convinced Hillary Clinton understood its meaning.

    2. It’s all over the news as it is (and should be). I see it over and over again. And no, I don’t think that comment would be any more all over the news if a Republican said it… I don’t think it even makes the list of crappy things republican politicians have said/implied about minorities.

  20. Probably too late in the day to post this but TMI ahead.

    Ugh, so I’ve been having some serious feminine problems. First I had 4 “periods” in 5 weeks which prompted a visit to my doctor. It turned out my IUD was in the wrong spot and had to be removed. A few days later I had more bleeding (like 5 days) which I assumed was my period, well now a few days later I’m on day 3 of heavy bleeding again.

    And on top of all of this, I’ve gained about 10 lbs in a month and my diet has not changed that much.

    Could this all be due to the IUD messing up my hormones? I had an ultrasound with the IUD fiasco so I’m assuming things are all good on that front (that would also detect PCOS, right?)

    Has anyone had a similar experience and commiserate? Could the weight gain be related to all of this?

    And on top of it all! Today I started leaking colostrum, and no, I’m not preggers.

    Tired of being sick and tired.

    1. This hasn’t happened to me or anyone I know, but please take care of yourself, get sleep, see a doctor

    2. Hang in there, take care of yourself, and get some rest this weekend. Being sick is no fun and I wish you the best.

    3. I haven’t had this happen, but I have read about similar events online (so, yeah, not verifiable) that have made me reluctant to get an IUD despite my doctors’ recommendations. All that to say — I agree with Anon, get yourself to a doctor who will take this seriously.

    4. How old are you? Is it peri-menopause? Btwn the periods and the leaking, it sounds hormonal (I know, I’m sure you’ve thought that already). Call your gyno and if she is not helpful, an endocrinologist?

    5. I’d definitely go back to the doctors…or at least call. Leaking colostrum is not normal. You could have too high of a level of prolactin or some other hormonal issue. Any chance you could be pregnant?

    6. OP here, thank you for your replies. I’m 37 so I don’t think I’m peri-menopausal, just had the IUD placed 1.5 years ago after baby #2. I suppose there is a small chance I could have been pregnant? I mean, you would think with the u/s they would have noticed… but since my IUD was not in the right spot it definitely had reduced efficacy. I could have had an early miscarriage?
      Yes, I will definitely call my doctor, or maybe find a new one…
      I’m so done with hormones. It’s time for my husband to do his part in this who contraception tango.

    1. I assume you are talking about the Clinton/DeBlasio skit, but if you are responding to sickandtired, you should be ashamed. You also should stop posting online.

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