Weekend Open Thread: Iris Top

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1. Has anyone done Sculptra for their face and do you want to tell me about it?

   Me: almost 45, look pretty youthful (per feedback from randoms/people I meet out in the world), have been getting Botox in the upper part of my face for a few years. Lower part of the face is a weeeeee bit saggy/starting to lose volume. I was super impressed by the Sculptra befores/afters and the fact that (a) it’s not a filler, just natural stimulation of what your body is already doing — making collagen, (b) it lasts a long time, and (c) it’s a gradual change. I am not super into the idea of getting filler or doing more invasive procedures. My derm says it would be 1 vial.

   I’d love to know about any real user experiences. That said, I feel vaguely sick to my stomach when I think about being injected with this stuff so maybe it’s not for me?

   1. Similar boat and I am doing to try microneedling / SkinPin. I have seen so much bad filler (and my interwebs are inconsistent on how Sculptra is IRL; need to keep diving into this). My googling has given me a series of plastic surgeon celebrity plastic surgery review reels that have been sobering on anything re the lower face. Botox on forehead seems to be the only thing that really goes as planned / does what’s expected and I’m OK with it because it’s not permanent.

      1. I’ve done sofwave/RF microneedling and while they did tighten things up a bit/make me very glowy they did not do much for my hollowing undereyes or my marionette lines (I’m 44). I had a PRP microneedling under my eyes which also did basically nothing so I’m now looking into very small amounts of filler there. The one my dermatologist suggested is the RHA filler which is a bit more natural looking and can be reversed.

   2. If you don’t mind sharing OP, did your derm give you a cost estimate and can you provide your geographic area? Also interested in hearing any real-life pros and cons. I do dysport injections instead of botox and also plan to avoid filler (as well as threads).

      1. I’m in an exurb of a medium sized Midwestern city and I think it’s about $900 a vial. Also, reading your comment made me realize that I mistyped above. I also get Dysport, not Botox.

   3. Do you really believe you “look pretty youthful”? If so, why isn’t that good enough? Why not embrace looking good for your age?

      1. I’m not the OP, but I have been debating about botox for a few years now, due to the lines on my forehead. Those lines have been there since my early 20s, but they are quite persistent and very pronounced after a long day now I’m 40.

         But I think I look youthful. I’m muscular, my face still has volume in my cheeks, I don’t have saggy or crepey skin on my neck and chest, etc.

         I found out that literally everyone gets botox in my circles. Their 35-45yo foreheads are not just naturally aging better than mine, they are spending a lot of money doing treatments. Many have done additional treatments, like lasers, fillers, etc.

         So I feel like I look much older or just more tired because of my forehead lines, even though most people would put me a few years younger than I am. Not much younger, but I’m 40 and people are often a little surprised by that.

      2. +1

      3. Because I’m an insecure millennial woman raised during the heroin chic years. And I’ve spent my entire life trying to break my reliance on “look young or bust” beauty standards. Doing my best over here. And yes, the answer may be “do nothing and age normally,” and that’s fine too.

         1. Commenting for solidarity from another insecure millennial

   4. I’ve done sculptra twice in my lower/mid face, none in my forehead. Highly recommend. I haven’t done any filler, and I get botox between my brows but that’s it. My dermatologist knows that I prefer a very natural look (for example, I don’t color my hair, and it’s about 50% gray, and the only makeup I wear regularly is sunscreen and lip gloss), so she always uses a light touch. I had a little bit of bruising the first time but none the second.

      The main benefits for me have been a beautiful glow. My skin just looks brighter. It’s hard to explain. It reflects light better, and it looks bouncy and fresh. I still have some fine lines. I turn 50 this year, and I really think that my skin looks as good now as it did when I was 40, but I don’t look like I’ve had work done.

      1. Thank you! Would you mind sharing how long the procedure takes, number of vials, and pain level? Also, how bad was your bruising?

         1. Maybe an hour total? The majority of the time is waiting for the numbing cream to soak in. The injections take maybe 10 minutes. I think I did 2 vials each time. Pain level during the procedure is minimal. I was a little sore afterwards for about 48 hours, but it was completely fine with Tylenol. The bruising was the kind that looks like a broken blood vessel, with sharp edges, not the diffuse deep-tissue kind. It faded within 48 hours. It was about the size of a dime, on the side of my chin.

            The thing that my dermatologist emphasized strongly was the importance of facial massage afterwards. She told me 5 minutes of massage, 5 times/day, for 5 days afterwards. You’re basically trying to massage the sculptra particles into an even distribution all over, so they don’t clump up and settle in any particular spot. This was harder for the first day or two, when I was sore, but it’s definitely doable.

            The full effects aren’t visible for a few months (it’s not like filler where your skin is immediately plumper).

            Let us know what you decide and how it goes!

2. What’s your favorite store for date night clothes? Any new outfits you’re proud of or looking forward to wearing soon? Need some inspo

3. Has anyone ever been diagnosed with POTS? If so, can you tell me more about what led to your diagnosis and what treatment was offered to you?

   1. Yes. There are treatment to manage specific symptoms depending on what’s going on (Mestinon, certain betablockers and other cardiac meds, electrolytes, vitamins, compression garments; sometimes neurologists offer more options than cardiologists or vice versa). There really should also be testing to try to identify a potential underlying condition. POTS can be the first symptom of Sjogren’s or an eventual symptom of autonomic small fiber neuropathy from other autoimmune conditions and deficiencies. These can be very difficult to work up, and specialists can be few and far between. I was initially told I didn’t have the condition that I ended up having, but once I was diagnosed and treated, it really helped. For some reason autonomic specialists are few and far between and vary a lot in how helpful they are. I’m really grateful to multiple specialists who helped me, but it also feels like each of them just contributed one piece to the puzzle, and it really took a lot of time and seeking help to get it all sorted.

   2. Yes, I was diagnosed post-Covid when people finally realized that POTS was a real, debilitating thing. The NYTimes ran a big story on it and I realized, hey, the weird symptoms I’ve had forever actually have a cause! Fwiw I also have EDS and MCAS so this should not have been a shock.
      I see both a vascular surgeon (who diagnosed me officially by measuring blood flow return rates via ultrasounds of my legs) and a cardiologist to make sure my heart is ok. The best treatment is mostly behavioral (lots of water, managing stress, low intensity but regular exercise, etc.) but I also take electrolytes, wear compression stockings, and am about to start a blood pressure lowering drug to blunt the sharp up-swings in my heart rate. Good luck – it’s frustrating that it took me until my late 30s to find treatment but I feel much better now.

4. This may be too local a question, but: do you have dental insurance? I did the math years ago and we’ve always had it because it basically pays for 2 cleanings a year, and if we needed something further there might be a reduction. The dentist we’ve gone to for 10 years just stopped accepting insurance.

   (Why is this a trend with doctors? Therapists were the OGs to not accept insurance, now dumb concierge practices for family medicine, and now the dentist?)

   1. I have it, but this year, no one seems to take it. It’s really just preventive care + a discount plan in the end, and a lot of dentist offices offer discount plans themselves these days. My crowns and root canal still cost a fortune. But I guess it’s worth it in case I need another root canal and can find an endodontist who takes it. Does yours offer literally nothing towards out of network preventive care, or is it still a discount?

   2. My dentist and optometrist both went out-of-network after open enrollment closed for the year. The dentist will submit out-of-network claims for me, but I lose out on the negotiated rates. I am beginning to doubt the value of dental and vision insurance. If something big was needed I believe the oral surgeon we have used in the past is still in-network, but the benefits are not great for that.

      1. Same! Our dentist told us last week that effective 4/1 they are out of network for our big, name-brand plan. We have to pay in full for our service and then they will submit the claim and we can be reimbursed by the insurance after the fact, which they say takes 5-7 days. I’m struggling to understand the cost of basic cleanings in network vs out of network. It’s on my to-do list Monday to call my insurance directly, but the website / portal is entirely unhelpful.

      2. It’s definitely worth running the numbers and assessing your needs to see if these are worthwhile to keep or drop.

         Vision insurance has long been more expensive for me than just paying for an exam and new glasses outright. I dropped it years ago. If I had a complex issue or needed specialty contacts, it might be better to have the insurance.

         Dental insurance is really cheap through my employer, and the negotiated rates pay for the premiums with one cleaning.

         1. I dropped vision insurance once providers like Warby Parker came on the scene. I can buy a pair of prescription progressives + prescription progressive sunglasses for less than my out of pocket for a single pair of glasses after insurance was costing me when I did have “vision insurance.”

   3. This is a rising trend. My dentist stopped taking Delta due to lousy reimbursement rates and the time and effort it took them to get paid. And dentist is in an area where most people can afford, so they just stopped. It’s really sad, even having the insurance isn’t much help these days

   4. Yes, I have it through my employer and it’s so cheap it’s silly not too, but I think it’s pretty common for dentists to not take insurance and yes, it doesn’t get you much, much like my vision insurance that doesn’t even come close to covering the full cost of my contacts for the year.

      1. My vision insurance cost something like forty bucks a month and got me a whopping 10% off a hundred dollar eye exam once a year, and 20% off frames and lenses but only if they were from a participating storefront. I was paying almost $500 to “save” maybe fifty bucks a year. So very not worth it.

         1. This is fascinating. Even the company with the very worst benefits I’ve ever encountered offered vision insurance that, net, was basically an exam & a $150 credit towards glasses for $100 in premiums – so worth it if you’re sure you’ll get new glasses (and they let me order from Zenni & get reimbursed). But yeah, it’s a pretty easy one to run the numbers on, and didn’t really function as an “insurance” product (ie I pay for health insurance even if out of pocket is cheaper, bc I’m really paying for protection in the case of a low-probabality-high-severity event. Vision expenses on the other hand are relatively predictable and don’t have that long tail.

   5. I don’t. I’ve done the math, and it’s never made financial sense for me to get unless it was either free or incredibly cheap through a job, even during years that I needed real work done.

      1. Yeah, I read the policy and did the math. There are major exclusions.

   6. I have it and I wouldn’t go without it because I want that coverage for big stuff. I don’t care about it covering my cleanings, but the only plan available to me is one that covers everything up to a limit.

      I’m not sure I come out ahead, but it’s peace of mind for big stuff like a tooth that needs to come out or needs a crown or whatever. I say this even though I have basically perfect teeth, but you never know. Pretty sure dental insurers lose money on my husband though.

   7. I got it again when I changed employers last year because it is net positive for two cleanings / year for me and my husband, plus has some orthodontic benefits which I will most likely need for my two younger kids (it’s already too late to get in on that for the oldest). But I confirmed with my dentist, whom I’d been just paying out of pocket for years, that he is in network. It was not worth it with the options I had at my previous job.

5. Another derm question. What is the difference between IPL and Fraxel (or Fraxel “quick” version, which is what my derm recommended)? I am late 40s and want to fade some dark spots.

   1. IPL is not a laser. It’s exactly what it says, intense pulse light. Fraxel is a laser.

      You can get “deeper “results with fractal with more downtime than IPL. I’ve had both so that’s my source.

      My advice is to go to the best practitioner you can find, regardless of which device they use. Ask around.

6. What is the best online app for macro counting for teen boys? Fitpal is 18+ and my guy is only 14 but he’s interested.

   1. I just use Cronometer.

7. What are you all wearing for Zoom interviews these days? I’m in comms/marketing and at director or VP roles depending on company size. I just turned 50 and don’t want to seem too stuffy and out of touch (ageism is real) but came up when suiting for interviews was always formal (and in person). It’s awkward if the person on the other side of the camera shows up wearing a zip up sweatshirt.

   1. I would be the type of person you’d interview with, and although our team dresses quite casually (jeans, quarter zips), I would still expect you as the interviewee to look nicer. Interviewees typically are in at least a nice sweater but a nicer blouse / top would come across well. I don’t expect a suit over Zoom, but wouldn’t judge one, especially if I knew I was an earlier round for you. Most people are still wearing suits for in-person final rounds, even if they’ve been more casual over Zoom.

   2. I am the interviewer, but I wear business formal appropriate to my function and level of seniority, and so do the candidates I interview. For Zoom I usually go with a textured blazer and a nice fitted tee, usually the same color as the blazer. I don’t like fussy blouses or c011ared sh1rts in person, and I like them even less on camera.

      1. +1 – textured blazer is the answer here. Lots of good woven or boucle fabrics that will still be formal without being stuffy. Think something a dress maker would make inspired by classic Channel jackets. If you are interviewing for VP/director, you want more of a blazer/suit jacket than a soft jacket vibe.

      2. Another +1 to textured blazer or jacket. I find a suit off for a zoom interview because I just would never wear a suit to sit in my house. Of course, ignore that if you’re interviewing somewhere you know to be business formal.

         A polished sweater or structured top with good accessories could also work, but I feel like something substantial enough to serve as a “third piece” is important to look put-together.

         I expect people to dress up a bit for virtual interviews, and I try to make sure I look more polished on interview days so the formality disparity isn’t pronounced enough to be awkward.

      3. +1 to a textured blazer and on the age piece, get your hair cut and colored in a modern style if you haven’t already. That’s much more of a problem than your outfit.

         1. What is a “modern style” that isn’t MAGA long barrel curls?

            1. I can’t help you if that’s the only thing you find modern.

            2. I can’t help you if you find that style inherently MAGA!

         2. OP here—thank you for the advice. I regularly color and have really healthy shoulder length hair that flips a bit at the bottom and long layers thanks to a hot round brush. Middle part. So I think I’m modern enough but appreciate the advice. I definitely know what you mean—frizzy and lack of shape is usually what comes to mind. It’s funny because I have a Dyson and was literally just thinking the other day that I haven’t used in a long time since the barrel curls didn’t feel quite as nice. Not politics. Just fear of looking like a blonde version of Robyn on SisterWives lol.

            1. Rachel from Friends hair?

            2. Um, no. (When is that last time you saw anyone with that cut IRL?) Think more Kaitlan Collins.

   3. It’s way more awkward if you show up in a sweatshirt.

      In my firm, suits are still the default interview attire, with a bit more personality than in the old days through accessories and styling.

   4. As the interviewer, I’d expect a polished look – maybe a The Fold type of top. Most candidates wear either that or a tweedy or sweater jacket type of thing. I do screens by video and then the next round would be IRL.

   5. My answer depends on whether you’re in tech/agency world or in a more traditional industry.

      I’m in tech, and likely on your interview panel. I would not even notice your outfit unless you showed up in a tank top/strapless shirt/ratty gym hoodie.

      But a plain crew or v-neck t-shirt? Totally fine. A sweater or cardigan? Fine. Button down denim shirt? Fine. For my colleagues who dress up a bit, it’s usually an oversized blazer over a t-shirt or bodysuit with jeans and Rothy’s flats. My go-to outfit is a fitted t-shirt and wideleg pants in a fun color or subtle pattern.

      I work remotely, but every so often when I go into an office, there’s men walking around with literally no shoes… so your plain t-shirt is the least of my concerns about what counts as “professional attire”.

      1. I’m ex tech and omg what is it with the barefoot dudes or the dudes in toe shoes or the dudes in sandals that they kick up on the (unassigned, someone else will use it in an hour) desks???

   6. I look at the company’s website and LinkedIn page to gauge the level of formality. For a big 4 firm, I wore a blazer and blouse for each interview over Zoom. For a tech company, I wore a nice cardigan and blouse. For organizations that are more informal, a blouse from LOFT can be a good choice, I find. They have lots of options that are modern and pretty, yet professional. Good luck!

   7. You are just another meeting in a normal day for them, but they are a special meeting on a special day for you. I don’t think anyone expects your level of formality to match theirs.

   8. I have been experimenting with this – my go to is a casual navy blazer (mine is literally from Amazon in some kind of washable fabric) with t shirt – I figure it looks put together but not a suit. Caveat: in tech, which is weird, and, well, I haven’t gotten an offer so maybe my advice is off base!
      I did try wearing a “SF nice” athletic fleece one (zip up Arc’teryx) to see if it felt better/made me more confident/etc and the interviewer was in a button up shirt, no jacket, and I felt underdressed

8. Has anyone had an Alex Mill canvas bag IRL? I have a couple boat and tote bags but these seem more purse-like. Torn and I need another bag. WWYD?

   1. Yes. It’s slightly less utilitarian looking than the B&T and much less preppy. I see fashion influencers with them from time to time. I have the medium size in navy and think it’s just right for a casual outfit if I need to haul a bunch of stuff.

   2. Just in case it’s helpful, I was in Old Navy today and saw their version of the B&T and it was very cute and quite useful for a purse – big but not huge, snap closure, little pocket inside, etc. I have way too many totes but was tempted! Search for Old Navy Large Canvas Tote Bag online.

9. I don’t travel often and am a nervous flyer. Has there been any impact to airlines from the current shutdown? Anyone care to guess what it will be like to fly into and out of DCA next month if the budget impasse continues?

   1. Just flew and had no issues other than a way too long line for car rental, but I think that was largely due to winter break travel peak than any shutdown issues.

   2. TSA Precheck is back, but Global Entry is still down, at least at a lot of airports. Other than those services, everything should be pretty normal.

   3. Just flew and it was normal for domestic. For international, if Global Entry is still suspended, assume the line to get through immigration will be worse than it otherwise would be at your arrival time.

10. Holy anorexia, Batman! This would satisfy Thinspo…

    1. Yeah, too much media content is featuring truly unhealthy looking models.

    2. Are we also going to say “holy obesity, Batman!” when a model is larger? Commenting on the bodies of others is gross.

       1. No, letting this go by without a challenge is gross. We should not be idolizing people who are ruining their health. Ryan Seacreast (sp?) looks really bad.

       2. Commenting on models is different (I have no real way to know if this is a real person or a photoshop or what). Thinspo trends in fashion modeling probably is worth commenting on.

          1. Okay, so you’re good with someone commenting “holy obesity Batman” as long as it’s a model. Got it.

             1. Jesus, you are missing the point.

             2. I see the point. I think it’s dumb and am mocking it.

          2. Agree. Lots of research to back harmful effects of thinspo marketing

             1. Lots of research to back harmful effects of obesity marketing, too.

       3. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

    3. Speaking as a doctor, this is disturbing and needs intervention.

    4. She makes the outfit look great. I can’t wear it, but it isn’t made for my body type. Not concerned about this, nor is it detrimental to my mental health.

       1. That’s so cool! I’d love to hear more about your personal experience obviates well known, well researched effects that affect many, but not all, people.

          1. Sorry about your emotional fragility 💕

             1. Thanks so much! I feel terrible that you’ve managed to become a truly narcissistic a-hole. I hope you’re able to figure out how to be a slightly better human soon.

             2. Thanks! I feel terrible for you, too. I hope you’re eventually able to figure out how to exist on the internet with all its big, scary things, like pictures of women who are skinner than you.

11. Just a PSA to the people looking to upgrade their jewelry that the Saks sale linked above has some great deals on 14k pieces.

12. Anyone thinking of getting a MMLF mystery box? I’m considering the tops/jackets one. Or maybe the dresses.

13. Thoughts on whether clogs can be part of a stylish casual outfit? Or do they read too much like slippers? Signed, middle-age mom trying to look current

    1. I wear my Birkenstocks most days. What with flare denim back in in style, I’m fully back in high school mode (43).

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