This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I was clicking through the few links I'd put aside for clothes to feature today and came to this dress and thought OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT ONE. So here we are. I will admit I wish it came in black because that lavender gray shade can be hard to work with — I'd suggest sticking with neutrals like navy, black, white, or light gray and avoiding other colors. Love the scoop neck (flattering!) and cap sleeves (easy to layer!). It does look a bit short on the model, but I'm guessing if you're under 5'7″ it would be fine. The dress is $340 at Reiss. Reiss ‘Fede' Tailored Dress
A few lower-priced options for pintuck-detail dresses are here (lilac, sizes 2-14), here (red, sizes 6-16), and here (sizes 2-16 in six colors!).
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-all)
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Financial aid
Beautiful dress!!
Financial question: if I have a little over $200K in assets, should I still fill out a FAFSA and apply for financial aid for graduate school (two-year MPH program)? My husband and I make $120K combined, but that will go down to about 75K when I’m in school. The assets are mostly from an inheritance, but we are trying to save as much as we can to eventually support my husband’s mother and disabled sibling (who currently live abroad, but we are trying to bring them here). Is it possible to explain extenuating circumstances on the FAFSA or would I be laughed out of there for even bothering to apply with that much in assets? TIA!
Anonymous
You can apply – the FAFSA really only makes you eligible for loans anyway, though. It’s not the place to make your case for aid. Honestly, I don’t know that there is a place that would care about family circumstances, though you could try with the school.
Wildkitten
The FAFSA isn’t the place to make a case for extenuating circumstances. But, you can do that directly with the financial aid office. I don’t know that they will take it into account, but you can ask.
KT
Absolutely fill out the FAFSA-you won’t get any grants, but you will be offered loans.
Unfortunately, they don’t care about extenuating circumstances.
Honestly, I would used those assets to pay for tuition in full. I know you want to save, but you’re only going to get loans offered to you anyway. Save yourself the interest and pay in cash.
Stc
But she can get loans for school easily. Can the same be said of a loan to bring family members here? Plus you often need to prove you have assets to support family in order for them to get a visa.
KT
If she has good credit, personal loans are easy enough to get, but hopefully that wouldn’t be necessary. Even a 75K income, down from their combined 120K, is enough to build savings back up, especially if she didn’t take on more debt.
stc
But loans aren’t assets. The US govn’t may require proof of assets for the relatives to be here-they often have to prove the ability to support someone.
Financial aid
I really would like to save myself the interest – I think you can’t defer it while you’re in graduate school? I’m applying to lower-cost public schools with the hope of having a lower total bill since I definitely won’t qualify for most need-based aid, but it’s tricky to know what it will actually cost until acceptances come in and any scholarships are given out.
Anonymous
If you really want to save yourself the interest, you will need to pay for school.
Walnut
Have you considered doing a local grad school program at night? Since it doesn’t sound like you’re looking for a prestigious program, going part time at night might be a great option. Bonus points if your employer reimburses tuition.
KT
Excellent point. If an MPH is needed, working and going to school at night might be the best bet. It may take longer, but it would be the most cost effective way of handling it.
KT
Your current loans–are they in your name, your husband’s, or both?Depending on the situation, while you’re in school, your loans can be deferred, meaning you won’t need to make payments on your segment of the loans, but they’ll still accrue interest.
And not to be preachy, but are you sure an MPH is really necessary? My understanding of MPH is that it’s required for some small niche areas, but is not universal among public health workers. If I’m completely off base tell me to shush, I just hate to see people spend the money on a master’s if they don’t 100% need it to succeed.
Financial aid
I don’t need an MPH – I WANT an MPH. Public health is fascinating to me and I can’t wait to go back to school. I think it will help my future career, but it probably isn’t really necessary. Also, prestige does matter – all the schools I applied to are public, but three of the four are in the top 10 nationally.
I don’t have loans currently (only to pay back my parents for paying off my undergrad debt). That’s good to know about using Fastweb to apply for scholarships – I’ve checked it out before, but always kind of assumed that thousands and thousands of people apply for each one and that the chances would be really low. I’ll have to go back and spend more time!
MPA
Counterpoint: Many jobs specify that they require an MPH, particularly in government or grant-funded positions. I have an MPA focusing on health care finance, but am ineligible for certain jobs that specifically require an MPH.
Fill out the FAFSA, you’re not going to get any grant aid. I had $200 in savings, a 2001 Saturn as my only asset, and made $12,000/year and I got no grant aid for graduate school. In general, expect to get MUCH less in aid from grad school than from undergrad, unless you’re getting an assistantship.
I highly suggest you look at paid internship opportunities. I can also give you specific advice if we might be in the same state.
Epidemiologist
Absolutely this. An MPH is required for many entry-level jobs.
NYNY
And even if a job doesn’t require an MPH, many higher-level healthcare positions prefer or require a master’s degree, and an MPH is a solid option.
Anonymous
With all due respect, “I’m fascinated by the subject matter and love being in school” (paraphrasing) is not a good reason to take out large student loans. You know your situation best, but I’d at least ask you to reconsider if that is indeed the case. Now, it’s a different story if you can afford to pay in cash that isn’t needed for other things or the degree is necessary to break into or advance in your field.
HSAL
I agree with the Anonymous at 12:17. I’ve considered the exact same path as well, and haven’t been able to justify the cost. I love school but I also love having money. It’s not clear to me what you want to use this for if you don’t think it’s necessary to your future career.
Financial aid
Just to clarify for the Anon at 12:17, an MPH will definitely be beneficial for my career. Whether or not it’s strictly necessary is another question, but for the type of work I want to do, it will definitely help, and for at least some jobs, it’s a strict prereq (as other posters have noted).
Thanks all for the advice!
Anonymous
You’ll be laughed at if you think anyone is going to give you grants when you have $200,000 in assets!!!
Loans sure, but not grants.
Blonde Lawyer
I’m going to disagree here. You certainly can explain your extenuating circumstances in writing to your school’s financial aid office. My parents ran into a similar (albeit different) circumstance when my brother was entering college and he was still able to get grants including need based aid. During the year my brother’s FAFSA was based on, my dad’s company was purchased and he was going to be laid off. He was in his 70’s at the time (had kids late in life). He negotiated a “golden handshake” that included a pretty generous severance. He also had started experiencing some medical issues and wasn’t going to be able to look for other work for at least a year and if his medical issues got worse he’d be forced into retirement. Due to the circumstances and his state law, he also qualified for unemployment AND he started receiving social security. So, he basically received a multiple of his usual salary in the year my brother applied for aid but that was all the salary he would likely receive for the rest of his life.
Anonymous
Not so. Anecdata, but I got a half-scholarship (merit-based) to a top-3 MPH program. Depends on your field, what you’ve done, what you’re interested in doing, and your desirability as a candidate. Departments also have latitude to give partial scholarships once you are admitted. It’s worth an ask.
I’ve found my MPH to be very useful, FWIW. Especially if you take health policy and mgmt classes in addition to your sub-discipline content-based courses, you gain a lot of marketable skills.
Anonymous
Yeah, sure, on merit, but not because you have 200k but are claiming effective poverty.
Sydney Bristow
Apply for every scholarship you can find. A friend of mine in law school got a ton of scholarships because she was the only person or one of just a few who applied. Many of them were small but it added up to quite a bit. She said it was well worth the effort and I now wish I would have tried more on that front.
KT
This! I went on FastWeb for scholarships and got some crazy ones (I got one for having green eyes). Lots of them were small, but hey, they covered things like books and rent and it all added up
nutella
My SO did this for undergrad and graduated without debt from an in-state, but expensive, undergrad, too.
MJ
There are ways to shelter these assets so they are not counted under your assets for financial aid purposes. You, for instance, could set up a trust for the benefit of those recipients. Talk to an estate planning atty with a specialty in trusts for disabled folks. You may also need to get international tax advice too.
I would also tell you, before you think that grad school loans are so cheap, is to understand that the origination rate is about 5% and the interest rates for most grad school loans are 7-8% (regardless of your credit), so taking out loans is expensive money right now.
Betsy
Slight point of clarification – on grad loans you can receive up to $20,500 a year in regular unsubsidized direct loans with an origination fee of 1.068% and interest rate of 5.84%. Beyond that it’s the Graduate PLUS loan with the high origination fee and interest rate you’re referring to.
Anonymous
Slight point of clarification – on grad loans you can receive up to $20,500 a year in regular unsubsidized direct loans with an origination fee of 1.068% and interest rate of 5.84%. Beyond that it’s the Graduate PLUS loan with the high origination fee and interest rate you’re referring to.
Contacts
I have dry eye and a history of eye muscle surgery, which means my eyes are pretty sensitive and prone to redness (fish oil and compresses have helped a lot). I now wear glasses as well, but I’m getting so tired of them and would like to consider contacts (I also look MUCH better without glasses). Can anyone comment on whether contacts are an option for people with sensitive eyes? If so, are there any types that would be best or any eye care tips that can help reduce irritation? I’m going to ask my eye doctor as well, but just figured I’d check here for basic opinions first. I’ve heard that laser eye surgery can really increase dryness/irritation, so would like to explore contacts first. Thanks!
SC
I have sensitive eyes, and I switched to dailies after getting a scratch in my eye due to dryness and having to “rest” my eyes for a few days. (Taking days off work and not being able to read or watch Netflix was the worst!) They’re more expensive, but it is SO worth it to put clean, fresh contacts in my eyes every morning and to throw away the dry, grimy ones at the end of the day.
Anonymous
Also dailies! The only contacts I can wear. I don’t wear them every day, but I like having the option to not wear my glasses eventually. They do have the most moisturizing options now available for strong prescriptions, which was not the case several years ago.
Another anonymous judge
Good luck! I spent several years searching for the unicorn of contact lenses for my eyes which became dry in my mid-40s. I’m sorry to say I never found them although contact lens technology has improved and dailies are not nearly as expensive as they used to be. In the end I opted for Lasik. I was a good candidate in spite of my dryness, and have found my eyes not significantly drier post that operation than they were before.
My only regret was I did not explore Lasik as an option years ago, although admittedly I wasn’t dreadfully unhappy with my contacts while I could wear them. I still need reading glasses (51) but do not mind them and the freedom from contacts and the ability to actually wear sunglasses is a joy. Good luck with your hunt!
KT
I have very sensitive eyes that would dry out constantly and contacts damaged my eyes immensely. I ended up with significant scarring on the retina.
My doctor recommended I get LASIK to prevent any more damage from happening. The first few days I noticed dryness, but he gave me Restasis which generates more tears so that cleared up qiickly.
It’s been 5 years, and I haven’t had any issues with dryness/irritation since.
Two Cents
have you considered hard lenses (also called RPGs)? Unlike soft lenses, hard lenses allow oxygen to get through to the eye so they don’t dry out your eyes as much as soft lenses. They do take some getting used to but I love them. I’ve tried both soft and hard and hard lenses win hands down. They are also better for keeping your prescription down, in case you have severe myopia. But even if you don’t, they are worth checking out.
Jen
I have extremely sensitive eyes and a problem with rosacea under my eyelids, and the only contacts I can wear are the Dailies Total One. They were seriously life changing for me. I still can only wear glasses for computer work all day, but they are hands down the best of any contact I have ever tried (and I have tried basically everything).
Wild Chicken
I have the same issues – dry eyes and a history of eye muscle surgery. Contacts worked extremely well for me until I reached my 40’s and now I require reading glasses to do any reading at all. They even keep my slightly crooked eyes straight. I did get tear duct plugs to help with dry eyes, and I had to try a ton of contacts before finding ones I liked. I hope you find something comfortable!
Stress rash
(TMI warning)
Has anyone had experience with stress-induced skin issues, specifically rashes? I have had a bunch of mystery rashes over my body and arms for the past two weeks. I can’t think of any allergens or changes in products that would have caused it, but I have had a pretty stressful few months at work. I’ve never had this before (even in previous stressful situations), so I’m at a loss. I got a course of steroids at first, which stopped the rashes for a few days, but they bloomed back up once I came off the steroids (another reason I think it might be stress).
KT
Did you do any changes at all? New laundry detergent, body wash, shampoo, etc? Or did your company switch cleaning companies who may use a new cleaning solution?It’s amazing what little things can do to your body.
That said, stress can cause some pretty strong reactions, including rashes. At my worst time, I lost huge patches of hair, so rashes certainly are possible. What did your doctor say who prescribed the steroids?
Stress rash
Nope. Literally nothing I can think of. I have pretty much used the same products for years, and haven’t even bought new bottles in the past few weeks, so it can’t be a new formulation. Am reaching back out to the doctor
KT
I’ve got nothing, that’s really strange. Good luck with the doctor!
JJ
It could be eczema. My son also started developing crazy rashes in the fall. They got so bad that the rashes themselves were getting infected and we couldn’t find a way to make them go away. The dermatologist determined that he had developed a new contact allergy to polyurethane, which was on his booster seat, chairs at school, etc. As soon as we covered that up and eliminated the exposure, the rashes went away. So, I would see if the rashes are appearing the same place over and over – it may be indicative of a new contact allergy.
Ellen
Yay Kat! I love this Reiss DRESS and think that the JUDGE will also love it in Lavender, tho I WISH it was made in RED, b/c then the manageing partner would be more suportive, b/c at $340, he will probabley grumbel at me. FOOEY b/c I can NOT just be a model in Royal Blue and Red for the Judge. I HAVE to be abel to dress profesional in OTHER color’s! YAY!
As for the OP, I second the OP who said you may be reacting to a new laundry detergent. My housekeeper stopped using 7th Generation soap b/c she brought some cheep powder from China, and I immediateley started itching all over. The manageing partner asked me if I went to a hotel with bedbug’s but I said NO. When I found out about the cheep Chinese detergent powder, I had my housekeeper throw it out, and then had her REWASH everything she washed, includeing my all of cotton bedding. Once she did that, I pretty much Stopped scratcheing. But it was embarasing. I warned her NEVER to buy cheep stuff I have NOT aproved of again. She agreed.
I walked in from home today in my new Nike Air’s. They are SO nice, now that the schlush is mostley gone. I was abel to get to work in onley 45 minute’s, and I am abel to listen to the new Adele Album 25 on my iphone. Has anyone else in the HIVE listened to this new album? I love Adele and love to sing as I walk to work. I stopped to buy a ticket for MEGA million’s so that I have more option’s in case no guy appear’s to MARRY me. If I win, I can get artificial inspemination and NOT have to worry about a man to work supporting me and MY child. YAY!
Myrna’s freind texted me and asked that we go out for a drink. I wonder why he does NOT want to take me out to dinner? He already grabbed my tuchus, so I think I deserve a regular dinner. I will tell him OK if we go to DINNER, but will keep it causal by goeing out to the Second Avenue Deli, where I can have a Pastrami Sandwich. YAY!!!
anon
I used to have stress induced cystic acne. I saw a dermatologist and did everything recommended for people with acne issues, but it stopped when I got a dog. I can feel my body just much more relaxed now, even during equivalently stressful times. I have other things in my anti-stress regimen, like working out, trying to get enough sleep, and eating healthfully, and those things have made all the difference.
anon
Oh also, I had always had wonderful, clear skin (including through other stressful times in my life) until this happened. Definitely consult your doctor, but also be aware that the solution might lie elsewhere.
Stress rash
Ugh, this sadly sounds like me :( I have always had awesome skin, although it’s super sensitive. I already have a cat though…maybe she needs more cuddles? :) Definitely been a bad few months for me with a long cold, getting totally off my workout schedule, and bad eating habits.
Wildkitten
I had canker sores that would not go away when I was studying for the bar. Never had them before or since, so it was definitely a stress-caused situation. Can your doctor give you a topical steroid, or soap/shampoo/laundry detergent that is more calming?
mascot
I have atopic dermatitis (eczema) that can flare during stress. I’ve had it for decades so I’ve just learned to live with it. The area affected has gotten smaller as I have gotten older. It’s confined to my hand 95% of the time, so I don’t have a large area to treat. Steroid creams work for my rash along with good moisturizer and keeping my hands gloved when dealing with irritating substances.. A visit to a dermatologist is probably a good idea.
LAnon
Yes, I am prone to occasional bouts of eczema at my elbows and knees, and it seems to be brought on by times of stress. Unfortunately, I have no advice though! When I notice it happening, I take it as a clear sign that I am over-stressed. I had a flare-up right around Christmas due to end-of-year work stress combined with hosting holiday celebrations for my extended family… I spent the first few weeks of the new year focusing on getting lots of sleep and other self-care, in addition to the Eucerin lotion that I use for the eczema patches. I would say it was 50% cleared up after just a couple nights of really good sleep, and another week before it was gone entirely.
Bonnie
I’ve given myself shingles before out of stress. Definitely see your doctor again.
MPA
Do you live in an area with a lot of lyme disease? Lyme can cause this and it might be worth a test.
Alternately, is there a chance your washing machine isn’t rinsing detergent out completely? I had a horrible skin reaction and the cause ended up being that the rinse cycle was broken and was basically not rinsing out the detergent.
anon
Yes, I experienced stress rashes when I first started as an associate, which was a result of both stress and environmental allergies that did not used to cause a rash but did when there was stress (if that makes sense, that’s what my doctor says).
I was prescribed zyrtec (sp). It eventually went away when I got on the lowest dose of anti-anxiety meds. I have since stopped such meds and the rash has not come back, even though my life is probably more stressful now.
anon
use* to cause
Anon
I just want to mention that many allergies develop over time, so just because you haven’t changed products doesn’t mean you’re not having an allergic reaction. For instance latex allergies (I’m not suggesting you’re allergic to latex) are more prevalent now because we are more exposed to latex every day and most of us have some sort of lifetime max we can handle before developing allergic reactions.
It could also be something in your diet.
My daughter had issues with hives and we finally tried sulfate free hair products and -knock wood – no major hives episodes since.
(Former) Clueless Summer
I have dermographism which often appears as hive-like bumps all over my body. I was diagnosed with it (for what that’s worth) but I know its dermographism when it pops up (as opposed to a contact allergy, for example) because itching it, even a little bit, makes it instantly worse. I’ve come to believe that my dermographism is mostly triggered by dietary things – particularly sugar – as well as stress. I haven’t had a bad flare up in a long time, but I also have radically changed my diet for the better.
Anon
I get a skin rash fairly easily including:
– walking on a paved sidewalk through a grassy area that was recently treated with chemicals
– certain laundry detergents
– and stress.
bridget
I had something similar last year – scalp to knees, covered in a horrible rash. It might have been stress, an allergic reaction, or just a combination of things.
I got steroids, which helped, and then changed to hypoallergenic laundry detergent and added an extra rinse cycle at the end. Never had allergy problems before, but the extra fifty cents of laundry detergent costs is worth the peace of mind.
NYC tech
Any chance you’re pregnant or experiencing any other hormonal changes (went off birth control, unusual length period, etc)?
Stress rash
Thankfully no :)
Anon
If you’re open to it, try acupuncture. It definitely calms my system down when I get those potentially stress-induced skin freak-outs and imbalances. I feel better overall after acupuncture as well.
Anonymous
I had undiagnosed Fifth disease in high school — we thought I was allergic to the sun because I got a rash on half my face every time I went outside. I also randomly become allergic to lotions/hair products/etc if I use them too often. In my case, Cutivate (name brand cream, *not* generic) works like a charm!
Maternity leave transition
I’m looking for advice for ways to seamlessly transition my work over to colleagues when I have my first baby, due in April. I’m a mid level biglaw transactional associate and I have been majorly inconvenienced by the maternity leaves of other lawyers — usually instances where the lawyer overestimated the amount of work she would be able to handle during the weeks leading up to her due date, leaving things in a half-done disorganized mess that others had to figure out and deal with when she went into labor. Based on these experiences, I am hyper sensitive to this and really want to make things as easy as possible for my colleagues. Any advice on how to do this successfully??
KT
My overly-organized boss left me a binder before she left and walked me through it. It listed first what projects she had going on, what she had completed, key contacts, red flags, etc. Then she had mapped out what needed to happen while she was out, such as “March, schedule press event. Confirm with TV station they will send anchor” etc.
She probably went wayyyyyyy too into detail, but since I was relatively new to the organization, it was a huge help and helped me keep on top of what needed to be done while she was gone.
TO Lawyer
One of my colleagues left for her Masters degree. She wrote a transition memo for each of the files she was on (this is litigation so may be slightly different), summarizing the facts of the case, what had been done, what the next steps were, key contact info for clients/opposing counsel and some helpful advice (i.e. this lawyer tends to be difficult but this is how you deal with him).
is this something that would work for your types of cases?
Anonymous
I had a colleague do this also, but for transactional files- mostly a list of what had already been done, the next major milestone/tasks, key contacts, etc.
Lyssa
I did something similar, though I kept all of it on one document (with a section for each case) and color-coded it (i.e., made a red note if we were waiting for something, a green note to note what had been done, a yellow note for something that I needed to do), and just updated it constantly.
It actually worked really well for me to keep up with things personally, too. I could just glance over the list every week or so and take note of when things were late, etc.
Runner 5
This is a really good idea! Might have to give it a go. I find it difficult to keep track of where my various projects are
NYC tech
Even if you’re planning to work up until you go into labor (which I think is a great idea, if you can swing it), you should have your transition materials prepped and ready to go the day you hit 38 weeks. Because from that point on, anything could happen at any minute. And that will allow you to relax a little and focus just on getting your own work done (as opposed to your own work plus prepping for leave) for the last two weeks when you’re likely to be getting increasingly tired and uncomfortable.
ace
Completely agree with this, but I’d aim to have everything ready even earlier (36 weeks or so assuming your pregnancy is normal). I went into labor at 37 weeks unexpectedly — but was a totally normal, full-term etc. delivery. I had mostly transitioned but had to send an email while laboring in the middle of the night to have someone take care of a document production I was supposed to handle the next day :)
Diana Barry
Make a transition memo on all your files. Do it NOW. Update it every week. That way everything will be all set whenever you go out.
FWIW, my first baby was a month early and I had just done my case update memo THE DAY BEFORE I DELIVERED so I am sensitive to how these things can go. :)
Coach Laura
When I was pregnant, I wrote a memo on each file/project and updated it weekly as Diana Berry and D. Meagle explain. But I would start daily updates on any changes/current status starting six weeks before delivery. And I never left the office without having things in order because you never know. With Baby #1 I went to the OB for weekly checkup, she said “not soon” and I went back to the office, worked until 9 to make up for being at the doctor and then went into labor that night. I hadn’t planned to go back to the office that afternoon but had my “nesting urge” hit, which was fortuitous. With Baby #2, I was in and out of the hospital for a month before delivery with no warning and never went to the office for a “final” workday before delivery.
Anonymous
Yes, do what Diana Barry and Coach Laura said. Weekly updates mean your memos will never be that out of date. You will rest so much easier (to the extent that’s possible when preggo) knowing that all will be well if you go into labor, or show up at the OB’s for what you think is a regular appointment and s/he puts you on bedrest immediately, or whatever. By 34-36 weeks, switch to daily updates.
My first was 5 weeks early with zero warning.
D. Meagle
Transactional attorney here. I prepared a memo of all my open matters, organized by partner, then each client and the client matters. For each, I provided contact info for all relevant parties (opposing counsel, brokers, clients, vendors). I updated the memo weekly with bullets, so there was a transaction history summarizing what had been going on, when drafts had been turned, who was responsible for turning the next draft. I also provided bullets for critical dates (although my group generally calendars critical dates on all calendars, not just the responsible attorney).
Ranty McRanterson
I hate that even though there is a blizzard, schools are closed, the INTERSTATE isn’t plowed much less any less major streets, there were two cars and a semi in the ditch on the way in, but I work at a place where eventh though 90% of the workforce only needs their laptops to do their jobs, we are all expected to have butts in seats ON TIME.
Jitterbug
If I worked for a company/organization like that, I’d look for a new job. Being able to stay home when it’s dangerous outside, or even expected to be dangerous later in the day, is really important to me.
Walnut
What are your options for pushing the envelope? I’m also in a traditionally butts-in-seats company in the blizzard zone today and I started calling bs on the “get in the office” policy. There was less resistance than I expected.
Ranty
The thought has crossed my mind.
If I tried to work from home they would make me use one of my ten paid days off, which I horde. I also may get yelled at…
Walnut
Time to call bs. Too late for this snow day, but the next time you should stay home, be visibly productive and make your case.
Ranty
You’re probably right.
anne-on
I’d look for another job. That’s just ridiculous. You may not have kids, but would they rather have you take a full day off with a sick kid, or be able to do 4-6 hours of work that day? Ditto for a doctor’s appt. or a repairman. This is why I just don’t understand companies that refuse to be flexible on work location.
Anonymous
Weird insurance question: My husband and I have our business insured through a particular insurance company who is the only one in our state to ensure our type of business – I can’t just go to GEICO or whatever and get insurance. It is this company or nothing – we have looked into this before. We’ve been pretty fine with them for years and years, and then when we did a refinance last fall we started a discussion about ‘enough’ life insurance. Well, we have enough life insurance, we both agree. We have enough life insurance to cover all of our debt and provide 3-4 years of living expenses AND a separate insurance policy going into trust to cover our kids education. We don’t want anymore. Said insurance is through other companies.
But this agent won’t take no for an answer. We’ve said politely and gently and firmly that we do not want life insurance on at least 4 different occasions. It’s like he cannot hear us and he keeps asking when we are going to discuss life insurance, we need to at least talk about it, etc.
I got an email from him this morning that seemed to imply that a responsible, risk-averse person would want to purchase life insurance through this company. Frankly, I am feeling more than a little intimidated. We operate a business with strict liability issues, so we absolutely have to have insurance and this agent could in fact have the ability to either revoke our insurance or determine we are not as ‘risk averse’ and up our premium by a multiplier. (We already have to do crazy things, like trim bushes to a certain height below windows to ensure visibility re hazards on the premises during operations).
It has become clear to me that I need to put a stop to this NOW. This email – as opposed to the phone or in person conversations – gives me the opportunity to do that in writing. Any ideas on how to word this in a way that makes it clear that we are not getting more life insurance (and at crazy rates!), that we’ve complied with every request the company has, and to not contact us about this any more? I will fight it if I have to, but if he were to revoke our liability insurance, we would have to cease operations until such time as that fight was resolved at a state operation.
This agent is someone that we run into professionally all the time as he specializes in this type of industry – he is at conferences, etc.
This whole thing is surreal to me.
KT
I don’t think you should take this as a threat–it’s not get life insurance or your business insurance will be punished. Insurance agents always upsell, and life insurance is low hanging fruit for them.
I would write back and say what you said here. That you have life insurance through X that you are happy with, it covers 3-4 years of living expenses and a trust for education. Stress you are not interested in adding a new policy and that you would like to NOT be contacted again for life insurance offers.
Idea
You could add, “We’ve declined your offer on X number of occasions verbally. Is there something more that I/we have to do to remove ourselves from this offer? If we are interested in life insurance, we will contact you. Until then, we look forward to continuing to work with you on business insurance.”
I’ve done something like this too many times – “I said X clearly. Is there someone else I should talk to?” Usually there isn’t, it’s just that the salesperson needs to hear it/understand it/have it said clearly. Ugh.
Snick
TMI. Don’t share the details of your coverage with the agent. Firmly state that you are not interested in purchasing a life insurance policy from him and ask him not to contact you again on that matter.
lost academic
I’d agree but wouldn’t add in all that detail because it opens the door to for the agent to argue about the specifics. You already have life insurance, and you do not wish to be contacted again regarding it.
Anon
Your agent probably has some sort of quotas to meet on life insurance sales. Do you have your personal insurance (homeowners, life) placed through him? If not just write him an email saying you need to keep your business and your personal insurance dealing separate, thanks for your concerns but you’ve done the work with your personal insurance agent and you’re comfortable.
Blonde Lawyer
Just saw someone recognize and catch their own economic privilege in a conversation about the Flint water crisis. It’s interesting (and necessary) to think about how our own circumstances cloud our opinion of political issues. People were discussing how the city of Flint had provided bottled water as an option to it’s employees while at work (like a water jug next to the water fountain) during a time period when the public water was not passing federal standards but was still considered by the city safe to drink. The citizens had been informed that the water was not passing the standard but were told the city still considered it safe.
Someone replied along the lines of “well, that’s reasonable. You can decide you don’t want to drink water not passing federal standards, even if it is supposed to be safe, and choose to drink bottled water instead. I don’t think offering that option to employees gave employees any special benefit over residents who were given the same information. They could get bottled water too.” Then she caught herself and said, well, if they could afford it.
It’s hard to imagine not being able to afford bottled water in an emergency but that is the reality for many people. Also, could the stores even keep up with that level of demand? I know one threat of a blizzard around here and bottled water flies off the shelf.
We talk a lot about privilege on here so I thought others might appreciate that story. There are probably a lot of people out there thinking “why can’t they just buy bottled water?”
anon
And, it’s not just bottled water for drinking. It’s also recommended for cooking and bathing. (Something about hot water leaching more lead from pipes). That’s a lot of bottled water.
Anonymous
And, I read that lots and lots of people have (hopefully HAD) been using their *FOOD STAMPS* to buy said bottled water, which means they’re not using those food stamps to buy actual food. The whole situation is an abomination.
anon
I have never once had that thought (why can’t they just buy bottled water?) and I shudder to think that that’s a common reaction to this story.
Solo
+1.
AnonymousAtlanta
I did see a hilarious thread in a neighborhood facebook group encouraging people to submit their “first world problems”. One was a woman whose husband was taking her for a weekend staycation at the local St. Regis hotel, and all her bags/suitcases were either too big or too small, so she had to take 2 Louis Vuitton bags, and she didn’t even want to go on the staycation, she wanted new diamond earrings instead.
The other hilarious one I forget some of but involved someone scratching her Cartier watch while reaching for fresh out-of-season fruit at Whole Foods. Not sure if these are the kinds of things you meant, but it’s nice to see some self-awareness.
a scented kindle
I think that’s part of it, and I myself am a huge proponent of pointing out first world problems. However, I think that actually acknowledging the structural disadvantaged faced by those who do not benefit from privilege involves a deeper reflection on other people’s experiences, the problems people face, their root causes, and what it takes to solve them.
Chuckling about “First world problems” asks you to acknowledge that *you are* lucky in a material sense. Checking your privilege asks you to peek into your blind spots and examine structural and systemic inequalities that you may not know exist. You don’t know they exist because you don’t experience them and they don’t hold you back. It’s also asking yourself to realize how much you benefit from societal structures solely because of your membership in the privileged group. That’s really tough for some people. There are a lot of basic bros out there who will be crack a joke about how ugh, their BMW is in the shop, first world problems lol, but then totally resist/fail to understand the concept of male privilege, saying “hey! I’ve worked for everything they have!” Not the point, dude, not the point.
Just wanted to add my 2 cents- not disagreeing with you! This topic is more interesting than work.
a scented kindle
Ugh miss the edit function. Where did it go? “I’ve worked for everything *I* have!”
Anonymous
I point this out to my husband and myself all the time. H will say something along the lines that we’ve worked hard and made good choices and our kids will benefit as we have, so why can’t others do the same? Just move to a better school district/safer neighborhood/somewhere the water’s not toxic? and I have to note that we benefited immensely from being born into white middle class families full of educated professionals. We have no idea what it’s like to feel disenfranchised or have to claw our way past our circumstances; we started out from a position where all we needed was hard work and good choices. A lot of people, unfortunately, do not have that luxury.
KT
The amount of bottled water a person would need each day is staggering. Not just drinking, but showering, cooking, brushing teeth! It’s a disaster
Blonde Lawyer
True. The showering part is still being debated. I think the official sources are saying it’s fine for bathing just not consuming but I completely understand why no one is trusting the official sources, particularly when there is staggering evidence that those sources are wrong.
The drinking part was key to this story because the expose was about city workers getting bottled water to drink at work, purchased by the city at the same time that citizens were told it was okay to keep drinking the city water. It was offered as an “option” to the employees.
Blonde Lawyer
And now I’ll soap box on one thought on disaster planning that might spin out from this discussion. It’s not always improper favoritism for gov’t employees to get relief before regular citizens. It’s the whole put your own mask on first airplane analogy. Emergency workers get their roads plowed first so that they can keep the city running until everyone else is plowed out. I thought the original article was about the city workers getting take home bottled water but it was just in-office bottled water. Either way, having a stash for employees makes sense. If there is none, they will flee the disaster with everyone else leaving no one behind to fix the disaster.
And yes, I realize this is way way way beyond bottled water.
Snick
Not that the government employees were actually responding to the Flint disaster at the time.
Anonymous
We get it. Your husband is a cop. This isn’t a rapid pace disaster like putting on an air mask at all. The scandal is a government protecting itself while poisoning it’s citizens.
Anonymous
Have you even read about what happened in flint? This has nothing to do with mask on first. They weren’t hoarding water bottles- they were saying it’s fine to use while secretly providing water for their employees because it was. Not. Fine.
Blonde Lawyer
Snick – of course. Unrelated to Flint entirely, I feel like there is always a witch hunt for benefits to gov’t workers. Anon at 1:07 – not a cop but other type of Fed LEO. You give me a good reminder to watch how much personal info I share on the net. He’s a former cop though so I have responded to some posts for advice about that. Good memory. Anon at 1:54 – yes and I agree this situation isn’t applicable. The original conversation I posted about was whether this was the gov’t knowing the water wasn’t fine when it provided the water to employees or it was providing water to employees because the city water failed the fed test which was already public info. I am in NO way defending the city of Flint. The article was whether the private water was evidence of a bigger cover up or not.
My point of posting wasn’t to debate Flint but to realize how we (humans, not you in particular) let our personal experiences impact our responses and empathy to others and we often don’t even realize we are doing it.
Anon
IDK … I’m getting tired of all the talk about privilege. Especially in situations like op described. It seems a little … self-congratulating? I mean, I see the merit in recognizing that not everyone can afford bottled water. But that seems more like pointing out a limitation of your position than “checking your privilege.”
People can keep patting each other on the back for prefacing things with talk about their own privilege. I’m just going to keep rolling my eyes.
anonymous
What would you suggest? Make no mention of it? Never think about it? Think about it but not announce to the world that you’re aware of your privilege? I don’t mean to sound snarky; I just want to understand your point better.
a scented kindle
“But that seems more like pointing out a limitation of your position than “checking your privilege.””
Pointing out a limitation of your position that you overlooked initially because it is not a part of your experience as a member of a privileged group literally is what checking your privilege means.
I think discussions of privilege are tremendously important and should be encouraged. I think speaking about it frequently and mentioning it frequently should be encouraged, because recognizing privilege and naming it is the first necessary step towards change. There’s inherent value in talking about it. I don’t think it’s self-congratulatory at all.
Anonymous
+1,000,000
I find the whole “let’s all check our privilege now” phenomenon to be self-congratulatory grad school shorthand. Instead, I’m a big fan of “let’s use our privilege to help other people who don’t have it” in the form of volunteering, policy work, and donating some of the money you earned with that privilege. Otherwise it’s like “oh hai, I have so much privilege” — and then what? Not helpful at all to the people without it.
I’d lump this in the same category as Facebook activism (or “slacktivism” if you will). There are studies showing that the more we psychologically pat ourselves on the back for being SO AWARE, the less we feel compelled to actually do anything.
Marion
Except that those things (except policy work) treat the symptoms not the cause of inequality. Also it’s easy for people to donate/volunteer whilst not acknowledging that they are the givers not the receipients of that help because of their privilege.
Layla
Ugh. I know this isn’t right, but I wish you could tell her she’s awful. This is beyond a failure to recognize privilege, and just a sheer lack of empathy. Ironically (in light of the likely privileges she’s had in terms of getting a decent education, etc) it also reflects stupidity- the amount of bottled water a family would have to buy to cover basic needs is staggering.
Layla
To paraphrase KT :), at least on the staggering part.
Snick
I think a lot of us commenting here would have a difficult time maintaining an adequate supply of bottled water for our families, even with ample financial resources.
Carrie...
Yes – and just the logistics. In some areas they have to go every single day to pick up their “free” water for the day. There are big lines… trying to do this before work/after…. when you have kids.
It is a nightmare.
I think a problem we have as humans… fundamentally… is difficulty in empathizing with people who live in a different environment/circumstances from us.
Blonde Lawyer
I just wrote almost the exact same thing above. (Your last paragraph).
Anonymous
There is apparently some evidence that empathy decreases with . . . privilege, so it is self-perpetuating, especially as we get more and more disparity of wealth.
Rachel
Cute dress! I have something similar in navy. The stitching/rouching is very flattering!
Stuck
Does anyone have advice about getting un-stuck and just DOING a work project that needs to be done? My project is hard—I’m writing something that requires sustained thought & research. I was deep into it last month when a bunch of things came up—had to be home with a sick kid for days, a couple of urgent projects—and now it’s time to get back into it and I CANNOT DO IT. I have been procrastinating for days, wasting a ton of time. I just can’t seem to dig in. Every time I get started, I stop and check email or this blog or make an appointment etc. I want the thing to be done without me having to do it. There is no real “deadline” that someone can enforce against me but it is something that should have been completed by now.
Tips? (I have been saying “just do it” to myself for days so some other advice would be helpful!!!)
Anonymous
Make a detailed to do list. Break stuff up as much as possible. Not “research xyz” but “open search engine. Run xyz search. Summarize results.” Helps me get going.
lost academic
Agreed. Cut down into 10-15 minute subtasks. But after you make that list/division, don’t sit back and feel like you did something by making the list (an easy trap!) – do at least two of them!
Cinnamon Gelato
This. This is exactly what I do when I have huge projects with no real deadline that I just don’t want to work on. I break it down into the simplest steps and schedule 1 for today, 1 for tomorrow, etc. Sometimes I get more done than planned, sometimes tomorrow’s task is more appealing than today’s so I skip ahead, but either way, work is (slowly) getting done.
SA
UGH. I have a ream of contracts to read and instead I’m reading you. I feel ya. Wanna trade? ;)
Senior Attorney
Yes, the 15-minute timer is your friend.
Also, I hope you won’t this this is too similar to “just do it,” but when I’m in that situation I give myself permission to do a crappy job on whatever it is. “I’ll write this document and it’s okay if it stinks, because at least I’ll have a draft I can work on improving.” And then, lo and behold, it doesn’t suck as much as I thought it would and I’ve gotten over the hump. (Because for me, procrastination is generally a by-product of perfectionism.)
LAnon
A couple weird ways that I get myself motivated:
1. Do a Google image search for “the cult of done manifesto” – basically a list of ideas all along the same lines as “done beats perfect” but with some more specifics. Read through that and see if any of the ideas will work as a mantra while you are trying to get stuff done.
2. Look up motivational videos on YouTube; I like ones by a user named “Mateusz M” (they will be high on the list if you search). I am quite sure that professional ladies trying to get their corporate projects done is NOT the target audience – they have a lot of sound clips that sound like locker room pep talks – but they do actually help me get pumped up to do work.
MJ
I disable the wifi on my computer so that the only thing I can do is work on the project at hand. I also put a fake out of office/busy reply on my email so that people can’t distract me.
I also think about how awful it would be to be unemployed because I didn’t get my stuff together, and how bad it would make me feel to know that this was my own doing.
I would also play a game with myself about divvying it up into small bites, and make sure I do X portion by lunchtime.
Cb
I run writing retreats for this very purpose. Writing is hard, we might say something silly and someone will have black and white evidence that we are imposters!
It is meant for academics but Rowena Murray’s writing retreat schedule is great. Adhere to it religiously – including all your breaks and physical activity. Is there some place you can go without wifi?
Anonymous
I have been notified that my job will be eliminated at the end of the month. I am actively job searching. Do I disclose this, or simply interview and submit resumes indicating that I am currently employed by my current company? The hiring cycles for roles at my level take long enough that by the time I get an offer, I may not longer work for my current employer.
If I do need to make that clear, how should i phrase it?
Killer Kitten Heels
I wouldn’t flag it in your resume or cover letter, but also wouldn’t actively conceal it once you get to the interview stage – so, for the “why are you looking to leave your current job?” question, I’d probably answer with some combination of “I was already looking for new opportunities because X and Y, and I was also recently informed that my company is eliminating my position as of 2/29”.
As long as you are, in fact, currently employed, there’s no reason to indicate otherwise on your resume. Once your employment ends, update your material accordingly.
hoola hoopa
On your resume, you can either (a) list your current position as going through ‘present’ until your position ends, then update to the last month of employment or (b) list your current position as going through the final month, even if that’s in the future. When acting as a hiring manager, I have no preference, although I do know that you are available on (b) date. If I receive your resume in February and interview you in March, I’m not going to be suspicious/annoyed/etc if I found out you weren’t currently working for them in March, if that’s your concern. I expect your resume to be accurate when it’s submitted.
You don’t need to specifically address it in the cover letter. If you are specifically asked why you left you past/current job in the interview, use the language “position eliminated” as you did in your OP.
stuck in a rut
Any ideas for snapping out of a rut? I’m in the same old job, same old apartment, same old (great, but still the same) friend groups. I need to inject my life with some fresh inspiration. Help!
Killer Kitten Heels
I like to add structure to my hobbies when I’m feeling this way – so, for example, if you’re a casual runner, maybe pick a half-marathon 2-3 months away and start actively training for it. Or if you’re a reader, instead of just reading whatever looks good, find yourself a reading challenge (like Book Riot’s “Read Harder” challenge, which I’m currently doing) and use that to structure your book picks. You could also add a new class or hobby, if you have time for it.
Carrots
If you’re looking for a reading challenge, Books on the Nightstand does a book bingo card – I know they typically do it in the summer, but I don’t know if they keep it active throughout the year for you to create a card. It gives you different categories to find for books (ex. one with a red cover, one written by someone from a different continent, one written in 19XX).
Shots. Shots. Shots.
Do you perhaps want to sleep with a stranger? Spend an evening dancing to Justin Bieber? Lose your shoes?
I can facilitate all of this and provide a guarantee that in the morning you’ll be looking for less excitement.
Or you can just apply me liberally and go to town on wayfair. Nothing says “new year new me” like festive throw pillows.
NYNY
Welcome back, shots! We missed you!
Wildkitten
This is my favorite Shots, Shots, Shots yet.
Senior Attorney
+1
Spirograph
+1 and I might do the wayfair thing tonight.
APC
here here
CountC
+1 BAHAHAHA
Dulcinea
I’m with you shots shots shots , especially re the throw pillows! But I think everyone should now goolge “don’t drink and prime”
Anon
Travel! Even a weekend away to a new, nearby city does wonders for me.
Anonymous
Agreed – 1) travel; 2) explore new places in your own town (somewhere historical you haven’t been back to since you were a kid; a gallery you always meant to go into; a local store you pass all the time, but never seem to have the time to explore; a park on the other side of town; etc. depending on your interests) 3) find a new activity – it’s a great way to grow, and can also be a good way to meet people.
Usually, when I feel the way you do, it’s because things feel a little stale – there’s no sense of the new to look forward to. So anything that stretches the contours of my regular life helps alleviate that.
Anon
I agree with shots shots shots and not about the throw pillows
Idea
If this were me and I had time/money, I’d take a one-off painting class, or a small series of art or religious classes (at my local place of worship, or something similar) that are 3-6 classes over a few weeks. You could even take an evening class and go back to work, if that’s the kind of job you have.
MKB
Ditto on the travel recommendation. Also, after I read ‘168 Hours’ I made a list of random fun stuff to do on the weekends and have been aiming to do at least one thing from the list or some fun social thing every week. Going to museums etc has helped to pull me out of my personal rut.
Senior Attorney
I’ve talked about this before, but my Rotary Club has been a real game-changer for me. Do you have a service club in your area that you could look into? Meetings once a week, meet some nice new people, and have opportunities to do service. Boom!
EB
Classes! I love learning new things – from the useful and mundane like how to change my oil to the completely useless but very fun like watercolours or keeping bees
Virginia Anon
If you can, move. Seriously.
Cinnamon Gelato
Even a new spin on the same old stuff often works for me. Do you usually see your friends out for drinks or dinner? Invite them over to your apartment for a dinner party or to go on a run with you. Do you already go to yoga? Try a new studio, or even a new teacher or class time at your current studio. How flexible is your job? Can you change your hours so you go in an hour earlier and leave an hour earlier? Or later? Or take a different lunch time? Can you rearrange all the furniture in your apartment? Oftentimes, just a simple change like that, as long as there’s a reason to make the change or a desire to try the specific different thing that I’m trying, is enough to snap me out of a rut. Travel is also good.
hoola hoopa
+1 to rearranging furniture
hoola hoopa
community college classes
CHJ
Totally off-topic, but for those of you with dogs who love to chew, any recommendations for toys/bones/treats, etc.? Especially for big dogs?
JJ
If you can find them, Junkyard Bones have been a lifesaver for us. They’re real bones, filled with marrow, and keep my lab/Great Pyrenees puppy from chewing on the walls (literally). Other than that, I’m curious because Kongs don’t work and most other bones are devoured before they’re helpful.
anon
Petsmart has similar shank bones filled with flavored stuffing. You can refill them with peanut butter too.
Bonnie
Kong toys are great, especially the knots line. They have no stuffing and come in different sizes.
anon
My aggressive chewer like antlers but you need to inspect them regularly. Also Himalayan dog chews.
Anonymous
We go to the butcher shop and get real bones. They usually have a bag just for dogs.
KT
Himalayan chews! They’re a godsend. My pup especially loves when it’s chewed down to the last inch, I throw it in the microwave for a minute and it puffs up to a huge biscuit size which she DEVOURS
They last her days and she’s a monster chewer
I also get big marrow bones from the butcher. 50 cents and she loves them AND they clean her teeth
Anonymous
Anything made by Kong. My dog loves the traditional Kong toy with frozen peanut butter or frozen plain yogurt in the middle. Keeps our strong chewer busy for awhile.
MJ
Bully sticks from Costco. They last a while for my smallish dog.
Wildkitten
Nylabones with the nubs on them – like the dinosaur shaped ones. They are the only things that last more than an afternoon (sorry kong, bully stick, himalayan chews, furniture).
ESQuared
I really liked yesterday’s makeup discussion. One thing I struggle with is my hair- it looks great when I put time in, but most days I don’t bother and I feel like I look quasi homeless (I joke, but not really). Especially with polished hair being so important to looking professional, I would love some hair ideas & inspiration.
What’s everyone’s hair type, routine, & fave products? I’ll put mine in the comments. :)
ESQuared
Hair- shoulder length, curly/frizzy
Routine- as Is aid above, not as much as I’d like. I usually throw it in a frizzy bun or ponytail. When I have time & can take a shower & let it air dry it looks MUCH better. When I’m really putting out all the stops, I’ll use a small curling iron to curl the super frizzy front and top part. Or do a blowout. For special occasions I do half up/half down or stick a bunch of bobbypins in & can fake an up do because of the curl.
Products- many years of variants on chemical straightening (Japanese, Brazillian, etc). I’ve tried everything and haven’t found any products I 100% love and am getting frustrated spending tons of money on products only to have them be duds.
APC
Have you tried Birchbox or some similar trial size program to try different hair products? It sounds like you still just need to find what works for you but I totally understand not wanting to spend the money. I’ve been Birchboxing for awhile and haven’t bought hair products in years unless I really truly loved something, but it introduces you to a lot of different products and formulations. For example, it sounds like a hair oil may be good for you but you might want to try a few types/brands. If you can sleekify your bun/pony with the right product (also the side braid, if your hair is long enough – that coming back into style has been my personal savior), I think you can get the polished look you are hoping for.
ESQuared
I have had a Birchbox subscription a while back, maybe I should check it out again. I’m pretty terrible with using samples… but every once in a while I think to myself that this whole hair thing shouldn’t be as hard as I’m making it!
Hair oils are awesome- I have tried a couple in the past to great success and probably should dust them off my shelf & start re-using. And agree re the braids- great for keeping crazy hair in check! Do you think they come off as young though? I do them on the weekend all the time, but I’m always hesitant to do them for work.
APC
I wouldn’t do a french braid or (obviously) pig tails, but I think a side braid can be professional. If you google “professional side braid” there are a lot of pictures (I’m loving Emma Stone’s, but also Nicole Kidman and Eva Longoria).
KT
Ugh my hair is evil. Frizzy, curly in some places, wavy in others. I live in Florida and have crazy humidity, so I rely on updos to get me out the door on time and still look polished. French twists, high buns, gibson twists, etc.
I am getting my hair Japanese Starightened tomorrow (EEEEEEEE!) so hopefully I’ll be able to wear it down more!
Cat
Hair – shoulder length, mix of wavy and straight (unfortunately that means air drying is NOT cute).
Routine – blowout (takes ~10 mins), halfhearted blowout and low pony, bun or braid (~7 mins), or skip the wash that day and low pony, bun or braid (~3 mins).
Products – if blowout day, I use a heat protectant; for other styles, a quick spritz of Sheer Blonde hairspray does the trick without looking too shiny or dulling my hair. Pantene Sheer Volume shampoo & conditioner. I am not a big hair product experimenter as I’m fortunate to have mostly cooperative hair!
CountC
I have curly hair that is about down to my bra band. It is cut into long layers, with long bangs (slightly past eye brows) and face-framing layers. I use a side part, so my bangs come sideways across my forehead and can be tucked behind my ears.
In the summer or when it is humid, I blow dry and straight iron the top and front layers, then pull everything else wet into a bun at the nape of my neck. I might occasionally blow out the whole thing, but the humidity kills it so I rarely bother. In the winter, I wash, blow dry, and straighten on Sunday nights and then freshen up throughout the week with dry shampoo and a quick blowdry refresh. If I get really gross from running or riding, I rewash during the week, but since I am doing my activities outside in the cold, it’s not often an issue. Later in the week I pull into a low ponytail (Th/Fri).
I like Pureology (purple bottles) shampoo and conditioner. My hair is color treated. I use Suave sleek frizz cream and a silicone gloss on the ends after blowdrying. I sometimes use hairspray if it’s humid. I am not picky about the dry shampoo and sometimes use baby powder.
N.C. anon
I have short curly hair and got my best easy-prep tip from my current stylist. My morning routine is to shower, maybe add a little gentle curling gen, part my hair, and twist small sections on the top of my head away from my face. Allow to air dry (it’s usually dry by the time I get to work). This creates nice, uniform spirals that I then loosen by either separating the curls or just running my fingers through my hair. This works about 99 percent of the time, with minor adjustments for dryness/humidity during the change of seasons.
Anonymous
I have fine, thick hair with deep uneven waves that look messy and unkempt, not cute and beachy. I wore it in a bob and spent 15 minutes every morning blow-drying it straight, only to have it return to its natural state whenever it came in contact with humidity. This weekend, I got a pixie cut. I am still not sure I love the pixie, but it takes 5 minutes to dry and style and is humidity-proof.
Lady B
My greatest hair idea- I twist my bangs down to behind my ear and then tie it in a messy bun then flip the bun under. This is my lazy day hair and I get compliments on it every time! Most people think it is a professional updo and yet it only took me 2 minutes.
APC
I put my damp hair in a bun overnight and get waves in the morning. A little product to tame frizz and I’m good to go for most down hair styles. If I don’t wash my hair then I braid it at night for a similar effect. I also love a good side-braid. Sometimes I do a bun or a low sleek side-parted pony if my hair is misbehaving on a given day. Some argan oil or somethings similar does wonders to make my hair sleek.
Easy option
Long bob. Thick, wavy hair. But not necessarily cute curly. When I air dry, it’s a giant frizzball.
And this was a game-changer for me:
My stylist suggested instead of beating it into submission by blowdrying it straight or flat-ironing, to give in to the wavy and use a curling iron to polish it up. It’s sooo low maintenance now. I wash and condition 2-3 nights per week, let it air dry overnight and then every morning I curling iron it. Run fingers through it after curling to loosen waves and go. No product except some dry shampoo after day 1.
Paging "Money"
If you’re so inclined (if not that’s cool), I’m hoping for an update on your financial plans and tackling that $400K student loan debt between you and your husband. I am really focused on money goals this year and everyone here has been a tremendous help along the way (as is Dave Ramsey). I’m just wondering what has happened in the last month with your financial plan, etc.
ESQuared
I am not the OP, but I tackled 400k of student debt btwn my husband & I in 5 years. We have great jobs now, but did not have great jobs at first (and we just had a baby and he just got laid off– so I’m REALLY glad we got through the soul crushing debt).
I used “I will teach you to be rich” as my blueprint. Happy to answer any questions… the way I mostly did it was trying to keep my expenditures the same, fighting constantly to make more money, and putting ALL of that increased money towards the debt.
ESQuared
On an unrelated note- Cat, I would love if you could tell us what gets things stuck in moderation so that we can avoid using those terms. It’s killing me this morning!
Wildkitten
Same.
HSAL
Agreed, but I also feel like this request is made occasionally and seems like so far it’s always ignored. Has anyone emailed as opposed to commented and/or has anyone ever gotten a response on the issue?
Anonymous
I’ll email & see if I get anything. Someone must have seen the request, since it was in moderation & got approved.
I actually think the problem today is that I started adding an email address & handle- when I leave the email address off, it doesn’t get stuck, which is the opposite of what you’d think!
Layoffs
Ugh. Had to travel with my boss to a statelite office yesterday to lay off two people and I know someone from our head office will be here Thursday to do more. It sucks. Sometimes being the boss is hard and so not fun. Especially since I know how they feel, being laid off myself late 2014 before getting my current position. It’s hard to focus on work today because of the emotion yesterday and anticipation of what’s to come. At least I don’t think I will have to sit in on Thursdays meetings. No question. Just needed to vent.
Anon
Ugh, sorry. I fear that is in my future too as that’s the messaging at my employer now. I wouldn’t be surprised if they also let me go (after making me do the dirty work of laying off staff.)
Yesterday I had to give an unfavorable performance review too – it was deserved but still difficult to deliver, and the recipient remains in total denial that there is any issue with work product.
Being a manager is no fun! It feels like the Hunger Games sometimes.
ESQuared
I feel you- I had to fire someone once that totally deserved to be fired… and it was still not fun & kept me up many nights feeling awful about the situation. Sometimes work just sucks, even when you mostly like it.
Senior Attorney
Yes, I’ve been there and it’s awful. Hang in there!
Maybe meet up with Shots, Shots, Shots after! ;)
Tax accountant DC
Can anyone recommend a good tax accountant in DC to prepare personal income taxes? Thanks!
Idea
David Zack (Silver Spring MD)
Opal
What will you pay for this service? Starting to inquire with CPAs in my large, urban market… looking for a gut check!
CPA Lady
I think it depends on how complicated your return is and the size of the accounting firm you pick. Typically smaller firms are cheaper. I worked in a large-ish regional firm and typically returns for an individual were $750-$1,000 minimum and on up. These returns were typically complex, involving multiple rental properties, partnership interests, investment accounts, filing in more than one state, etc. If your return is more straightforward, and you go to a smaller firm it’ll probably be in the $300-$500 range. The more organized you are, the better. The bill starts running up when the accountant has to contact the client again and again for additional items or if you just show up with a giant box of disorganized receipts.
Opal
I was quoted $500-600 for our straight forward return at a smaller firm. This includes ongoing advisory services throughout the year – not heavy advisory services, but if we contemplate life events (home purchase, kids, etc) they are willing to consult… all included in that fee. I think that sounds reasonable based on your information…?
Anonymous
Hah, this made me laugh out loud. My dad used to pay me $50 in high school to sort through his giant box of disorganized receipts. It was a huge win for me since I was just watching TV anyway, and he saved hundreds because otherwise he’d dump that box off with his CPA.
ESQuared
My FIL’s accountant in a less popular (but near NY) state offered to do my husband & my taxes for $250. He does the whole (huge) family’s taxes though, including my FIL’s equity partnership stuff, so maybe he is giving us a good rate to keep the business overall.
Our taxes are fairly simple, so we ended up just turbo-taxing them.
anon
My women’s group (BigLaw) is looking for lunchtime topics of discussion, panel ideas etc. – anything that worked well at your firms?
nutella
Mentoring program – with sincerity, confidentiality, and CLE credit.
Anonymous
It depends — if it is strictly business, financial literacy / pocket MBA / financial statement reading would be a good investment of time. If you’re actually friendly with each other, same topics + wine. Actually, wine either way.
IMO, these groups are so frequently a waste of time or to check off a box that you’ve done it.
Anonymous
YES — get CLE credit for this. If you’re in BigLaw, someone on staff should know how to apply fo rit.
Anon
My MBA women’s group had 2 events that were sports related – one in the fall about College Football, one in the spring about College Basketball. Not sure how this would go over (obviously no CLE credit) but it helps with basic knowledge, networking with the bros, etc.
Or, don’t, I don’t care.
Anon
I love this idea!
Anonymous
Yikes, no, if it’s a “let’s teach women about sports” event. Plenty of women enjoy football and bball and don’t need to be educated. That’s the kind of thing that has a serious risk of winding up on ATL
anon
Aaand plenty of women do not know sh*t about sports, so why should we be left out of the loop?
anon
I’m looking for a fun place to take my parents and kids to – ideally somewhere with nice scenery (my mom likes rock structures) and a nice resort for the kids. Somewhere between the Midwest and the West Coast. I originally wanted to do Tucson, but it’s a pain to fly to from the bay area. Any ideas? Thanks!
ESQuared
Portland, Seattle, San Diego, Los Angeles, Chicago, British Columbia (& Victoria Island!), St. Louis… just some of the great places I’ve done weekend trips to from the bay.
Anonymous
I can’t recommend any specific resorts, but Zion National Park or Rocky Mountain National Park are beautiful
hoola hoopa
Sunriver resort in Oregon is great for mult-generational vacations. It might still be a pain to fly into, though.
ESQuared
Second Sunriver- it’s beautiful there and I have a family friend who vacations there yearly (they live in Portland & fly the parents in).
It’s not US & if Zika is a concern it’s a no-go, but I’m also a huge fan of Cabo. It’s a quick & close by the resorts are amazing & it’s fairly inexpensive. Plus the Arch of Cabo for your mom!