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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 188 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Leena Tailored Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Reiss Leena Tailored DressOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Looooove this simple black dress from Reiss. A v-neck that is, finally, completely work appropriate. A nice, high neckline in the back — with a non-exposed zipper. Plus, it's fully lined. Huzzah! It's $340 in sizes 0-10. Reiss Leena Tailored Dress Psst: Here are lower-priced and plus-sized alternatives. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 9.16.24

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Comments

  1. anon

    This is so pretty (for someone else)! But it would NOT look good with my pooch.

  2. Diana Barry

    Gorgeous! Although I don’t like the belt (I never like belts). I also note that the dress is 39.5″ even though it looks super short on the model.

    • anon

      Super short on the model??? Are you Amish? It touches the top of her kneecap!

      • Anon

        I think it is about 2-3 inches above the top of her kneecap, actually.

        I’m with Diana Berry on this one – this dress would be mid-thigh when she sits, and therefore I would not wear it to work.

          • tesyaa

            Yes, it’s helpful to know the length that works best for you, but even the way the merchant measures the dress varies (they can measure from top of shoulder OR back of the neck, and if a back neckline is high or low, that affects the measurement).

            Bottom line – most dresses need to be tried on to know what they will and won’t cover. And a flared dress will often cover the knees when sitting even if it’s short. (I realize the featured dress is not flared).

        • NYNY

          Pretty sure even the model’s legs aren’t that long. The kneecaps and calves look elongated in proportion to her upper body, and there’s something weird happening with her feet. Thank you, photoshop.

      • Diana Barry

        No way. Her kneecap (the actual bone) is at least 2″ or 3″ below the hem.

      • Anonymous

        Agreed. This dress isn’t shockingly short. It’s grazing the edge of her kneecap.

    • anon

      Does Reiss run small? The “size and fit” info. for this dress on the website says the model is wearing a size 4, but is typically a size 2 (if I understand correctly). It also says she’s 5’10”, so this dress would be longer on most of us.

        • Anon

          I’m an 8 in BR pants and skirt sand I’m an 8 in Reiss. I find it to be accurate with their size chart. I do sometimes size down to a 6 in BR dresses, since I have a small top and the skirts aren’t that fitted.

      • Jan

        It depends on the cut. I have an A line, “swishy” silk dress that I wear a 6 in, but my tailored work dresses are an 8 (for my hips–I have to get it taken in from waist-up, so if you aren’t all hips you may not need to go up?). For reference, I wear a 2 in J. Crew dresses, 6-8 in Theory depending on cut, and 4-6 in Boss. I don’t have anything from AT or BR to compare, but I have casual dresses from Loft that are XS/2 if that helps. Today’s dress looks pretty snug in the hip area, so if I were ordering I would go with an 8.

  3. Blonde Lawyer

    Something is bugging me but I really don’t think I can do anything about it. I just figured I’d put it out there in case any of you other brilliant ladies had suggestions. I live in the Northeast*. A few months back I was driving and saw this ridiculous pickup truck. It had confederate flag stickers and swastika (!!) stickers all over it. Then with stick on lettering there was this long message that said something like “OBAMACARE, how about insurance for white children?” In smaller lettering it says “Is grandma’s VA healthcare gone?” It also has weird orange lights all over it and giant flood lights. At the time I just thought, wow, what a whacko. I also wondered “how is this thing street legal??” (Answer, I think with the lights off, which they were, it is street legal.)

    I recently changed my walking route to try a different side street next to mine. This guy’s truck was parked in one of the driveways. It has been there several times so I’m pretty sure he lives there. I’m disgusted to think this guy lives near me.

    I’m pretty sure there have been 1st Amendment rulings that his swastika’s are protected speech. I’m not a member of a protected class so I don’t think I’d have standing to allege any kind of personal harm from it, nor do I think it would be worth pi$$ing off someone so clearly imbalanced.

    I keep wondering what I would do/say if I saw him outside. I think the right thing is nothing because I doubt I’m going to change his mind about anything. Part of me just wants to say “why would you have something so offensive on your truck?” but then I’d have to hear his rationale. I think the answer is to just ignore him. Don’t feed the trolls. Go back to walking the other streets where I don’t see his truck with his billboard of crazy. What would you do?

    *I only mention the region b/c this isn’t a place where confederate flags are common and where they are seen they only mean one thing.

    • Anonymous

      You wouldn’t have standing even if you were a member of a protected class. Like, at all. Being a bigoted racist awful person, even near people who are hurt by this, isn’t against the law. The Nazis get to march on Skokie.

      And a troll is someone stirring up trouble just for the sake of it. Sounds like he isn’t. He’s just expressing himself.

      I’d stick with “good morning” if somehow he crossed my path and in general staying away from him. I have zero interest in making enemies of my neighbors.

    • anon

      I don’t care where you are, confederate flags are just as racist and offensive as nazi flags. I don’t have any advice but what a horrible person.. id feel uncomfortable living near him too.

    • NYNY

      It seems to me that the truck owner has made his (or her – did you see the person driving?) opinions clear already. In my experience, people with a lot of outspoken bumper stickers aren’t looking to defend or debate their point of view, just express it.

      Ignore the truck. Avoid the owner. Life is too short to talk to crazy people.

      • Anon

        “Ignore the truck. Avoid the owner. Life is too short to talk to crazy people.”

        This x 1000.

        • Other

          Agree – also, if you engage and a debate/issue emerges, then my guess is that he’ll feel like he “won.” In my experience, people who feel the need to broadcast their views in such a public, controversial way (as opposed to approaching the issue in a constructive way that may impact actual policy change), will just revel in the opportunity to become verbally aggressive in responding to you.

    • mascot

      As hard as it is, just ignore. You can’t change his actions (which sound pretty fringe anyways) but you can control how much you let it affect you.

    • Ginjury

      Wow. I understand your urge to say something to fix his issue of bigotry, but I do think it’s best to just say nothing and avoid him as best you can. As someone who spent 8 years in the south and now lives in New England, I also recommend focusing on how nice it is that this type of crazy is a rarity up here.

    • Public University Counsel

      So long as it is speech (or symbolic speech) and he is not inciting immediate violence, he can say what he likes. And, frankly, we would not want to live in a country where he couldn’t.

      James Madison would say, “More speech (not less) is the answer.”

      I say, “Life is short. Do not engage. Vote for the good guys in every election.”

    • AIMS

      You could always get your own bumper stickers.
      But seriously this is not actionable in any way and you’re not likely to get anywhere by engaging. He’s trying to provoke a reaction, don’t let him win.

      • Brit

        Was this a reference to when the Lorelai and Rory devil egged Jess’s car – because there’s only one more day until I can hole myself up in my apartment and binge watch “Gilmore Girls.”

        Not that I’m excited or anything…

        • Samantha

          Where have I been? I didn’t know that GG is coming to Netflix tomorrow. Thanks for the info TCFKAG and Brit!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Thanks, everyone. You are totally right. I will try to view it as “wow, what a great country that we are all free to express our opinions.” I think what made me feel unsafe about it, even beyond the message, is the lights. Maybe I’ve seen too many scary movies but I just picture him riding up on someone’s bumper at night and turning them all on. If that happens, the police can deal with it. Still not my problem. I’ll just be glad its not on my actual street and that I’m not trying to sell a house!

      • Anon

        Given the Confederate flag stickers on his car that suggest Southern state origins, it’s possible that the flood lights are left over from when he lived in a more rural, Southern area (where they are definitely popular). Just a thought. I totally get why you’d be wigged out by the stickers, but I know super hippie, liberal, everyone-lovin’ Southerners in rural areas who have those lights.

      • anon

        Those lights are called KC lights and they are very popular for off roading and hunting. They are also popular with people who like to affect the look of an off roader/hunter. I wouldn’t worry about this guy at all. He’s probably one of those misguided blowhards who is trying to ‘reclaim’ these symbols from their negative associations (as though that were possible or even necessary).

        My experience (I’m from TX) do not try to have a discussion with these people, it is not worth your time.

    • Ellen

      Yay! I love this black dress, Kat, and it at least does not focus on our boobie’s! Great p’ick!

      As for the OP, I too am a Blond lawyer, and I too kind of agree with your position that the guy is way out in the ozone and is NOT my type, but the beauty of America is that we let all type’s express themselves, whether under the First Amemendment, or just free speech, unless it is yelling fire in the theater, which is NO good. I think the right to privacy is also at issue here, and as long as he is just putting dumm saying’s on his pickup truck, he should be free to do so. I know that when I visited to take a depo down south, there were alot of pickup truck’s driving around that had naked women on the bumper’s saying all types of things that we would NEVER see or say in NY, but that was in Northern Florida, where the guy’s all had alot of tatoo’s. Actualy, you would think the guy’s would be tough, but they were VERY respectful of me, even tho we had NOTHING, repeat NOTHING in common. It was like being in the Middel of the TV show “SONS OF ANARCHY” if you know what I mean, with Ron Pearlman and Katie Siegel and guy’s who do NOT shower regularley. FOOEY! But again, this is America, land of the free and home of the brave, and that guy could have even served in the milatary in Iraq and Afganistan battling ISIS or ISIL or whatever those guys are called. I agree that we should NOT let ISIS or ISIL in here. DOUBEL FOOEY on ISIS/ISIL, and I hope OBAMA can handel that for us so we can travel again. TRIPEL FOOEY b/c I wanted to go on a trip (mabye even a honey moon) to Europe to see the relative’s, but the ISIS/ISIL is craweling all over the place. I am heading out to court now with Mason. Hopefully the judge will let him talk, and NOT make me argue ALL of the motion’s again. YAY!!

        • phx

          @Tesyaa — I so rarely read Ellen’s comments all the way through, but you’re right– that was an awesome comment.

          I <3 Ellen.

    • Monday

      This is a thoughtful question, Blond Lawyer. My reservation about the “just don’t engage” message coming from everyone else is that it’s not necessarily an option for some others who live or might want to live in your neighborhood. A swastika in particular is a direct threat of hostility/violence toward specific groups. So I’m thinking about how to be an ally given that I’m not a member of any of those groups either. I’m not sure how to do that, but suggest that being able to ignore this stuff is a privilege in itself.

      • Anonymous

        Wait. Why can’t a Jew in this neighborhood also ignore a Swasticka? There’s a big leap from “I put bigoted crap on my car” to “ima kill my neighbors.”

        I think ignoring and avoiding is the best path for everyone.

        • Monday

          Such a person absolutely could ignore it. I said that they may not be able to. It’s justifiable, though not inevitable, that someone would fear for his or her safety in this situation.

          • Anonymous

            I’m not understanding what you mean by not able. So afraid for their safety their only option is to openly confront a seemingly aggressive unreasonable person? Cause there’s no “have a reasonable convo” or “alert the authorities” option here.

          • emeralds

            I think there’s also a big area between “ignore” and “confront,” where the person in question would be unable to ignore the swastika and would feel threatened, uncomfortable, unsafe, etc., in their daily life, but would not escalate it to a confrontation. Sadly, I don’t think there’s anything to be done in this situation, for all of the reasons everyone’s gone over above. But I wish there was, so that members of the groups in question could get some kind of sense that their community was disgusted by that whack job :\

        • Monday

          No, I mean not able to mentally/emotionally set it aside–which is what BL is being advised to do. I made no statement about what this hypothetical targeted person would do, but sadly I think the most likely courses of action (for exactly the reasons you give) would be moving away, taking safety precautions that shouldn’t be necessary, or simply living in fear.

          • Anonymous

            I’m responding to your critique of advice to not engage. There’s no other reasonable option here, so I think your suggestion that people advising avoidance are privileged is off base.

            Join an organization, donate money, whatever you want but none of that is going to have any impact on this dude.

          • Monday

            We obviously don’t have to agree, but I want to clarify that I’m not insulting anyone by saying they have privilege. I am privileged myself. I’m saying that this informs our perspectives on scenarios like this.

          • tesyaa

            Well, if there comes a point where the truck owner makes a threatening statement or action, law enforcement can be involved. I just think the truck itself, in the absence of any untoward interaction, does not constitute a threat.

            If the guy is keeping to himself, it’s not likely that one day he will, out of the blue, suddenly commit a hate crime. I suppose it’s possible.

        • Anon for this

          Avoiding seems like a good idea. However, ignoring? As a person belonging to a group disliked by pro-swastika people, awareness is a good thing. There is a huge range of behavior, and as a neighbor, some of it would be to warn other neighbors and to make sure that my family never needed to ask that individual for help. People can be harmed by inaction, as well as by action.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        Thank you for this comment. This articulated something else I was thinking but struggling to put on paper. I’m sure it is much more painful to view for the minorities targeted by his hate. Even if the community can’t do anything about it, an uproar demanding action would at least let those targeted know that we don’t share in his hate, don’t accept it, want it to go away, even if we can’t.

        At the same time, any attention will give him a wider audience and will invite others to come support him. This recently happened with some guy who was open carrying a rifle up and down the road just to show that “he can.” People were freaking out and calling the police. The police informed the callers that it was just a gun rights advocate and he wasn’t threatening anyone and so long as he wasn’t pointing the gun at anyone he could openly carry it on the street. That led to debate over whether that should be the law and then we had thirty people demonstrating open carry on the street. Sigh. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Responsible gun owners were then fighting for time to say “they don’t represent us.”

        • Monday

          Indeed. That’s why I was (and am) at a loss about what to actually DO as a good ally. There are all kinds of risks for basically any option.

        • L

          If you live in an area that has HOA, this might violate their rules. If you don’t, you could always call the non-emergency police line and see if there is something they can do with respect to the swatstikas.

          • Anon

            Sorry, but the fact that something is really offensive to you (swastikas) doesn’t create grounds for police intervention. And I am pretty sure an HOA would have a hard time enforcing a rule against certain kinds of bumper stickers.

      • Marilla

        Really well put, emeralds and Monday. And for what it’s worth as a Jewish person (who thankfully has never experienced serious antisemitism but is watching developments in Europe with fear) I do want to say that it is heartening to see this conversation with a strong consensus that this is not OK and a feeling that others want to help/be allies. So thank you to Blond Lawyer for bringing it up and clearly expressing how abhorrent this is. :)

    • N.B.

      This isn’t going to make you feel any better but… this is nothing. I live in the American South. Suburban South, but still. You don’t know “scared” until you see pro-gun bumper stickers stuck all over a vehicle.

      Just… say hi. Go on your way. I bet he’s not belligerent – he won’t say these things to your face, or anyone’s face, no matter what color they are. He’s a bumper sticker coward, hiding behind his flag and his banner. No reason to confront him. Just mosey along.

      • cbackson

        For what it’s worth, I also live in the American South and can’t remember the last time I saw anything like this.

        • Lyssa

          I live in the south, too. I’ve certainly seen pro-gun bumper stickers (I don’t know about “all over,” but I’ve seen vehicles with more than one). But to call that, in itself, scary is way over the top.

          It seems like I used to see confederate flags flown, but it’s been a long time. I’m quite sure that I’ve never seen a swastika displayed like this.

          This guy’s just a massive kook. You can’t fix crazy.

        • Anon

          +1. I’m in the same city as cbackson and I don’t see this either. Not even at the range!

          However, I also don’t consider having one 2nd amendment bumper sticker as being “all over a vehicle”, so there’s that (I personally don’t have any bumper stickers of any persuasion).

        • anon

          There are confederate flags being flown in people’s yards and displayed on big trucks along with anti-obamacare, anti-obama, anti-liberal, pro-second amendment bumper stickers all over my rural Virginia county. It took some getting used to since I’ve not native to the area but it’s definitely not worth engaging about. The people who display that kind of stuff usually have pretty strong views and are just as uninterested in seeing things my way as I am in seeing things their way. I do a lot of smiling and nodding and excusing myself t0 the bathroom.

  4. Nancy P

    To the commenters who recommended The Mom Edit (f/k/a Ain’t No Mom Jeans) and Emerson Fry: you are evil. Evil evil evil. ;)

  5. NYNY

    Can anyone comment on the quality of Boden coats? I’m in desperate need of a new wool coat before winter hits, and am striking out in brick and mortar stores – why so many funnel collars, ruffles, and buckles??? – so I’m looking online and like several of their styles. I’m mostly curious about the feel of the wool Boden uses after recoiling from a super-scratchy Anne Klein coat at L&T. Any input would be appreciated.

    • Cat

      FWIW, I think you haven’t gotten responses bc I don’t know anyone here who uses Sprint. I’ve been happy w/ Verizon coverage.

      • Scully

        I also don’t know anyone who uses Sprint here. I’ve had both AT&T and Verizon, and did not run into any dead spots in the city.

    • ELL

      I used Sprint in the Philly suburbs a year or so ago and there were some problems with towers being down and upgraded.

  7. Anon

    Early thread jack: I’m not sure what to do in this situation.

    I recently applied for a job I really wanted. I have the exact skill set described in the posting. It was in a different setting than I’ve worked in, but the skills they wanted aren’t those usually found in that area of law.

    At my first round interview, the recruiter (in-house HR, not out-of-company recruiter) repeatedly said things like that I was the exact type of person they were hoping would apply. I then had a second round panel interview with the people I’d be working with. The recruiter told me she thought I did well. I believed, in large part on her positive feedback, that I was a frontrunner.

    The next day, I got a voicemail from her saying I wasn’t out of the running, but that three other other candidates had made it to the final round. The three being brought back all have experience in the area of law. (It is very unlikely, therefore, that they have the same skills I do.) Then she reiterated that I wasn’t necessarily out of the running, and she would keep me updated. She also said I should call or email if I had any questions or wanted an update. I’ve had several friends listen to the voicemail, and all find it a little bizarre.

    That was two weeks ago. I still want the job, but it seems that perhaps the team I’d be working with didn’t want what the recruiter thought they wanted. Has anyone else gotten a mixed message like this during the hiring process, or am I just deluding myself that it’s not entirely negative? Was she just trying to be nice, or am I being strung along as backup? Should I be doing anything?

    • Anonymous

      Just wait and see if you get the job. I agree. It sounds like they’d rather have someone from their area of law, and it’s odd the recruiter told you anything at all, but it’s somewhat useful info. If you want to follow up go ahead but in my experience companies never forget to give you good news.

    • Anon

      As someone on the hiring side, recruiters often don’t get what we’re actually looking for and even if they do, we sometimes change our minds during the hiring process.

      • Anon OP

        Thanks. This is what I *think* happened, but I was really surprised because there were no questions expressing any sort of concern about my not having more experience in that area of law. I had the answers ready, but they didn’t even ask.

        • Anon

          Sometimes the concern or issue doesn’t even arise until you meet someone else. That’s the tough part of interviewing, I often meet a ton of great candidates and then someone exceptional or with a totally different offer comes in the door and changes what we want.

    • kc

      Well, sometimes there is a disconnect between what the recruiter thinks a team wants and what the team really wants. It’s hard for recruiters to understand exactly what every single team in a company wants and needs, and what they are looking for. Also, the team could’ve just “clicked” better with the other three candidates. It sounds a little like you are being strung along as a backup, so keep searching for other jobs in the meantime.

  8. Anonymous

    I love that belt. Any ideas on something similar (just sort of classy black waist belt I can wear with sheathes, doesn’t have to have gold.) for less than $75?

    I keep looking around but haven’t found anything good that doesn’t look cheap.

  9. PSA if you wear skirts/dresses

    The skirt height comments above reminded me:

    If your skirts /dresses have walking slits, please check them. I was walking (upstairs, unfortunately) behind someone yesterday who had a slit that was teasing out. This was a shorter skirt than the one pictured, so the teased-out seam was . . . much higher up.

    • Anonymous

      Nope. I’m not going to spend any time worrying about people walking upstairs behind me can see. If they don’t like the view, polite people stop looking!

      • PSA if you wear skirts/dresses

        I have to think that she was truly unaware of the seam teasing out, which greatly expanded the slit.

    • nutella

      haha, yesterday I saw a skirt so tight and a slit so high that I saw London and France AND it was a straight-on view, not up-view. I am not exaggerating when I say it was cut to her crotch. It seriously made me wonder if it would split open completely if she sat, haha.

  10. Greensleeves

    That dress is gorgeous!

    I need some skincare help today. I’ve never put much effort into skincare or products and it’s starting to show, especially since I hit my 40s. I’ve been thinking it’s time to up my game. Someone the other day mentioned Caroline Hirons and I’ve read through her cheat sheets and some of the products she recommends. I think her daily process would be a good place for me to start. The problem is, I’ve never purchased anything better than a couple of Clinique products for skincare and I’m a little overwhelmed! My skin is somewhat sensitive and I don’t want to sink money into better products and then realize that my skin reacts or the fragrance is too strong. I’m looking at brands like Ren, Perricone, Clarins and Lancôme. So, two questions for you wise ladies! One, have any of you used any of these brands on sensitive skin and had a good or bad experience? Two, is there any way to get samples of this stuff or will Nordstrom take back an opened product? I’ve done some searching and it looks like the more expensive the product, the harder it is to get a sample. Thanks!

    • Anon

      So as another 40 something, I do the following: Botox, drink lots of water, eat clean, get a facial a couple of times a year, and wear great makeup (get a lesson from a pro). All of these pack a lot more bang for the buck and effort than a cleansing routine.

    • BB

      So I’m interested in this too, having never really paid attention, but I just went to this Caroline person’s page and OMG, seriously? That is WAY more effort than I feel like I can ever expend on skin care! Surely there’s some much more dialed down version of this?

      • Marilla

        Yup this was my reaction too! Seriously, wash your face twice a day, use moisturiser and sunscreen, take off makeup promptly and you’re probably fine.

    • Anonymous

      In my opinion, there’s no evidence that all these fancy creams do anything more than a general soap and a moisturizer with sunscreen from the drug store, unless you’re getting a prescription for Retin-A. And that’s my opinion because that’s what all the reputable tests show. When you spend $40 plus on a cream, you are buying hope and luxury.

      • PolyD

        I completely agree, although I would add salicylic acid to the mix (I think some Clinique and Neutrogena products have them).

        I am 46, I use Aveeno face wash (brightening something-or-other), Clinique Even Better moisturizer during the day, and the ROC brand of face lotion with Retin-A in it at night. Oh, and some L’Oreal eye cream. I got carded the other day (although to be fair, I think the place carded anyone who looked under 35).

        Also would recommend sunglasses and making sure your glasses/contacts prescription is up to date, and you use reading glasses if you need them. Squinting totally causes wrinkles.

        • West Coast Lawyer

          Could you link the ROC product? They seem to have a dozen different versions.

      • cbackson

        Yup. If you want real, verifiable results, you need to see a dermatologist. I use a prescription retinol and prescription anti-acne products (mostly oral); other than that, it’s drugstore facewash, moisturizer with sunscreen (also drugstore), tinted moisturizer with physical sunscreen (my one department-store skincare product), and Korean night cream that I get from Amazon (Innisfree, which is apparently a drugstore product in Korea and which is not at all expensive from Amazon).

    • wintergreen126

      While I’m not 40, I have sensitive skin, too. As far as skin care is concerned, I stay away from the brands you mentioned because they tend to be heavy/heavier on fragrance and that tends to cause me problems, i.e., hives.

      However, I have found one of Caroline Hirons’ recommendations to be fantastic: Kate Somerville’s Goat Milk Cream. It doesn’t have a smell per se, and as far as I can tell, there’s no added fragrance. I’m a fan.

    • Wildkitten

      Sephora is pretty liberal about taking returns, if you want to try something and see how your skin responds. I wouldn’t abuse their return policy, but I’d use it if I wanted to try one or two products that I think will work.

      • AIMS

        You can also ask them to make up a sample for you. They’ll do it with just about any product. My skin can be sensitive and that’s what I usually do with new products.

    • kc

      Yes I’d try to buy from sephora or get samples from them. Also, estee lauder advanced night repair is actually shown to work. But I agree to stick to things that have only been proven to work in studies–Botox, olay moisturizer, retin-a, etc….

    • AN

      I am 40 and a big fan of Peter thomas roth. I use the retinol and glycolic acid products. This brand is also highly rated by beautypedia.

    • SA-litagor

      I really like Paula’s Choice and they have samples for purchase, as well as a great return policy. Big fan of their BHA and AHA exfoliators, and she has a good retinol product too. Also eating clean and working out do wonders for your skin, as does getting plenty of sleep. Hard to do, I know, but worth noting for when that’s feasible.

      • Bonnie

        I’ve never been sold on expensive products and although I’ve changed my skin care routine over the years, it’s still pretty simple. In the morning, I rinse with water, swipe on Paula’s Choice BHA exfoliant and follow up with Trader Joe’s SPF face lotion. The exfoliant does wonders for my skin, evening it out and getting rid of dullness. Just today, a man I work with told me that my skin is “flawless.” In the evenings, I wash my face with Clinique mild soap, swipe off the eye makeup and put on Cetaphil face cream.

      • Parfait

        I’d suggest looking at Paula’s Choice too. I looked at those Caroline Hirons routines too and I think they’re just way too labor intensive and way too many products. and way too many overpriced products.

    • Greensleeves

      Ok, so maybe I overbought the expensive cream hype! :) But there’s a lot of room between what I’m spending now and $40+ creams! too. I certainly can’t afford to go get a line up like what Hirons is using, anyway. I definitely need to quit treating washing/moisturizing my face as an afterthought right before I fall into bed – I wash with Kiss My Face olive oil soap and slap on some Burt’s Bees serum and my face is dry and dull. I know that if I buy some products and have a routine I’m “supposed” to follow, I’m more likely to stick with it. I used to have good luck with Neutrogena and Aveeno, but those don’t seem to agree with my skin anymore. So, any other suggestions for brands or products, maybe in-between drugstore and high end?

      I have been working on some of the things Anon mentioned – I’m currently cleaning up my eating and cutting out the sugar, in particular. I’m working on drinking more water. I’ve also been working on upgrading my makeup. So maybe some of those will pay off soon too.

      Thanks for the comments so far!

      • Greensleeves

        I see several of you made recommendations while I was typing, so thanks!

      • NYNY

        As a fellow 40-something with sensitive skin, my everyday routine is to wash with Cerave and moisturize with pure argan oil. I sometimes layer Cerave moisturizer (non-SPF) over the argan if my skin feels tight after the oil sinks in. SPF makes me red, but I get so little sun I’m on vitamin D supplements. I have a Boscia hydrating mask I use as needed overnight.

    • Basics

      Have to agree with others here:

      DO:
      dermatologist (as in, someone who actually went to a real medical school and graduated)
      sleep
      exercise
      drink lots of water
      eat clean
      do not smoke
      stay out of the sun/wear LOTS of sunscreen at all times
      for sensitive 40-something skin, add the following:
      -gentle cleanser (try liquid J&J Purpose) am and pm
      – sunscreen am
      – serum (whichever one is recommended by your MD) pm
      – botox/juvederm to taste

      DON’T:
      believe anything you read/hear at a department store or Sephora or equivalent
      spend huge amounts of money for fancy brands that don’t come through an MD
      use lots of different products (find something simple that works and stick with it)

    • Anonymous

      So many great ideas here — I’m 37 but am following avidly. Question for everyone: Vitamin D and sun. I have been avoiding the sun like the plague but I read more and more about how we need Vitamin D, the only way to get it is by getting sun, supplements don’t work, etc, etc. My Vitamin D levels are low (and were not improved when I was taking 1000 mg of D3 daily — in fact they were lower, like 23 instead of their usual 27). So I’ve been trying to not wear a hat/sunscreen for my 30 minute runs, which is pretty much my only time outside every day.

      Should I go back to the hat to protect my skin and hope I’m getting enough Vitamin D through the rest of my skin? Anyone have any ideas? Sorry if this is a dumb Q.

      • Profmama

        Derm just told me that the way to get Vit D is not through sun, but through diet, first, and supplements, if necessary. Easy to say though, as my Vit D level is fine. His take on it was “the sun will kill you.” I have to admit that I am not religious about sunscreen on my body, but always have sunscreen on my face. Maybe you could research high Vit D foods?

      • Ru

        My vit D levels were below 30 at one point also and my doctor prescribed me megadoses (50,000 IU of vit D per week). I wound up doing it OTC by taking two 5,000 IU vit D pills per weekday to get that 50,000 IU dosage with the doc’s blessing. As I hit a more normal range, I take 5,000 IU per day. If you’re that low, I can’t believe your doctor didn’t tell you to at least take 2,000 IU per day. I take these http://www.drugstore.com/twinlab-mega-d3-dots-5000-iu-tablets/qxp408109?catid=183175 and get the 2000 IU version for my mom.

      • Anonymous

        You’d need a much higher supplement. The RDA is basically set for bone health, not general health, at 400IU/day. Your body makes up to 10,000IU from being in the sun for a prescribed amount of time. You can’t make that up with food or 1,000IU/day.

      • anon2

        To Anonymous concerned about Vit D levels – if you are supplementing and your level is that low, you need a doctor’s advice. Anything below 30 is bad.

        If you are supplementing and it doesn’t rise, you might consider getting tested for celiac disease and a trial gluten free period even if you don’t have celiac. Gluten intolerant people routinely have low blood vit D levels and the resulting osteoporosis, and as one of those with osteoporosis, I think it would be good for you to prevent that.

      • SuziStockbroker

        I know up here, your body can’t make Vitamin D from sun during the winter months, something about the angle of the sun’s ray etc.

    • anonsg

      I don’t have sensitive skin so I can’t say for sure, but Nordstrom will give you samples for Clarins and Lancome, so you can test them out. Nordstrom will also take back an opened product. I bought some Shiseido makeup products from Nordstrom and they said if it didn’t work out and I already used it, I could return it for a full refund.

    • MJ

      I am mid-thirties and use Ren’s Clearcalm day and night balms for sensitive skin. They last forever and you can get samples at Sephora. I am also newly obsessed with Jan Marini’s Bioglycolic wash–my skin is so smooth and it’s like $15 a bottle (for 8 oz) which is probably about what Purpose costs. Otherwise, I am not into fancy products. Huge fan of Ren Clearcalm though–I have very picky skin!!!

  11. NYC Shopping advice?

    I am going from NC to NYC for a day of shopping with my MIL and SIL in early December. Any suggestions of places to go? I want to avoid chains that I could visit at home unless they’re really special, like the flagship Macy’s. Is the NYC H&M worth it? Ideal price point is lower than most items featured here but I’m open to splurging.

    • AIMS

      Do you want to avoid all chains or just the ones you have back home?

      H&M is definitely better in my experience in Manhattan vs. more suburban H&Ms I’ve encountered. But which H&M matters — I like the one on 5th ave. in the 50s, the one by Bloomingdale’s on Lexington (58?) can also be good. I am not a fan of the 34th street one by Macy’s but that might be because I can’t stand that entire area (Macy’s inc.) — very touristy and crowded (the 5th ave. H&M is obviously touristy, too, but I think they try to have more interesting stuff b/c it’s the flagship location).

      Depending on what you’re looking for, I’d start on lower 5th avenue in the 20s and walk down to Union Sq. – lots of stores along the way, you’ll have the Union Sq. Holiday Market in December (lots of gift options), you can pop into Nordstrom Rack and then head down towards Soho on Broadway.

      • PSA if you wear skirts/dresses

        Second walking around SoHo. Whatever chain stores are there, the cast iron facades are unique.

        Also: MZWallace!

      • Killer Kitten Heels

        SIL works in retail/fashion, and her general advice is to avoid all of the 34th Street-area stores except Macy’s – they’re basically tourist traps. The stores in the 50s (along 5th, Lex, Madison) are generally better.

        I’d also second AIMS’s recommendation to check out the Union Square Holiday Market – it’s awesome. There’s a holiday market-type-thing in Bryant Park that’s fun as well.

        And +1,000,000,000 to MZWallace – such a great brand.

      • Sydney Bristow

        If you wind up in Soho you should go into Allsaints. Totally not in the price range you specified but they have such cool stuff that you need to see in person.

        Zara is a good place to seek out if you don’t have one in NC.

        I also agree with the advice to skip the rest of the stores around Macys and stick to the stores in the 50s.

      • anon a mouse

        Uniqlo for sure. I suggest heading to the Fifth Ave location, and hitting the Uniqlo and H&M that are there. Still insane, but less so than in Soho.

    • TCFKAG

      Last time I was in NYC, I went to the Union Square Nordstrom’s Rack. And while there are Racks near me, this one was better and had some high end stuff that mine does not.

    • Pippit

      Century 21! (the department store, not the realtor) Try the downtown location at 22 Cortlandt between Church and Broadway.

    • Anonymous

      Do NOT go to Macy’s flagship unless it’s near your hotel or something. Incredibly disappointing experience. Last time I went the thumpa-thumpa music was so loud and the general experience so unpleasant I left to come home and vomit. Not even kidding.

    • Pippit

      Not sure if my comment got into moderation, or what, but I recommend century 21 on Cortlandt st

    • Gail the Goldfish

      Honestly, H&M stores in NYC just stress me out. They’re crowded and poorly organized compared to the ones in more suburban locations. Some locations in the city are better (the one in Soho was tolerable, if you went in the middle of the day on a weekday), but I’d spend time elsewhere. Definitely go to Uniqlo, the 5th Avenue location. It’s the only clothing store I miss since I moved from NYC to NC. Zara, Mango, and Topshop are worth a look. I agree with everyone that the holiday markets are fun (though they don’t really have clothes–more accessories and household things), and that anything around 34th street should be avoided (and doesn’t have anything we don’t have in NC anyway); this includes the Macy’s, especially if you’re going around the holidays. I have no suggestions for non-chain stores, but there are a million little boutiques in Soho and the Village, so I’d just wander.

    • NYNY

      If you roll that way, early December is prime time to check out holiday windows in the big department stores: Barney’s, Saks, Macy’s, Lord & Taylor, Bloomingdales all do amazing things. You don’t even have to go in.

    • NJ2NYC

      If you are planning to splurge a bit, I believe now items of clothing are only exempt from sales tax in NY if they are under $110. NYC sales tax is 8.875%, so it could add up pretty quickly. If a store has an online presence and offers free shipping over a certain amount, a less-expensive option (depending on NC clothing-tax policy) might be to only try on, not purchase, items in-store. Then order them online and voila, they arrive at your house a few days later, sans-8.875%! This used to be my go-to strategy back when NY sales tax applied to all clothes (clothes are exempt in my state).

      Either way, have fun! December always feels really festive in NYC, and hopefully you’ll avoid the worst of the crowds since you’re coming in early December.

    • Brit

      Oh gawd, the tattoo choker on that 12 year old…THAT brings back memories!

      Also, the little boy in that green plaid shirt jamming to the commercial makes my day.

    • Meg Murry

      Our elementary school has them on the playground, although I think they are generic, not name brand Skip-Its. The kids generally use them as intended, but they also get used to fling at each other, as do the jump ropes. Then again, I’m pretty sure all elementary school boys use everything and anything as a weapon.
      I had a brief thought of showing the kids how to use one, but luckily my foot didn’t fit in the loop and I saved myself the embarrassment since I probably would have fallen on my face.

      In related retro-ness, anyone remember “get in shape, girl” toys and equipment? My sister and I found one of the cassette tapes last year and had some fun memories from that stuff.

      • waffles

        I used to LOVE “get in shape, girl”! I think I had a few of those sets! They are probably still in my parents’ basement :)

  13. anon

    I love these dresses, especially Reiss, but can you please do more budget-conscious picks? I know that some readers have paid off their loans here, but honestly it’s not difficult to find work appropriate wear when your budget is this high. I love ogling the fancy stuff now and then, but it sucks when the only thing I can afford is frugal Friday.

    • same anon

      Reading comprehension is low this morning–just saw the lower cost alternative.

      Is it just me, or do cheaper dresses always seem to run shorter? I may have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

    • I'm Just Me

      But that’s the entire point of Splurge Monday and so forth as the TPSs go from super expensive to budget each -Monday to Friday. Some of us can only afford the Friday picks, but can gaze at the Monday picks with admiration. Some people can afford the Monday picks and look at the Friday picks as being merely pocket change. There is something for everyone!

      • nutella

        likewise, the pricey designer pieces can make for good inspiration or a ‘lookbook’ of trends to replicate on your own budget.

      • Parfait

        Exactly. I understand the feeling of “Ugh, another beautiful thing I can’t have!” but hey. It doesn’t cost anything to look at the pretty pictures.

  14. Anonymous

    Anybody have or thinking about buying the Swash-in home dry cleaning machine? I have done no research whatsoever, and worry about the chemicals. But it certainly looks interesting for someone who spends a ton of money on dry cleaning work clothes that mainly just need freshening . . .

    I have a steam setting on my dryer, but that rarely seems to get the desired results.

    • tesyaa

      For freshening, have you tried hanging the garments in the bathroom and turning on the shower until it gets very steamy? Let them hang for a good half hour or more in the steamy bathroom. Obviously, this won’t remove dirt, but it’s great at removing wrinkles and freshening.

      • tesyaa

        Oh, and use a lint roller before steaming. This is one of my favorite low-tech items.

    • mascot

      What results do you need? I love my steam dryer. Add some Febreeze (or DIY equivalent) and can really extend my wears per professional cleaning. If you need creases in pants legs, can you just iron them back in?

    • Anon

      I checked out their website and am intrigued but it looks huge. Interested in responses too.

    • cc

      I like the dryel stuff you can get at cvs. You put the cloth in the garmet bag and put it in your dyer. It really really extends mt time in between dry cleaning.

      • Samantha

        +1 I’ve used dryel a lot in the past and it seems to freshen pretty well.

      • Killer Kitten Heels

        +1 – I use Dryel (0r the Woolite brand equivalent, I think it’s “Dry Cleaner’s Secret”) all the time, and I’ve significantly reduced my trips to the dry cleaner.

    • Bonnie

      I avoid dry cleaning by hanging items on the back of the door after I’ve worn them to let them air out. If the items are hung properly, even pants regain the creases.

  15. canadaanon

    threadjack
    Hi all, I’m a frequent reader and appreciate the thoughtful comments and insights from the smart ladies here.

    My colleague is starting a side business in direct competition with our company and she’s wondering how to go about marketing her services. My company is on all the usual s!tes and we normally visit them for clients.
    There is no clause in our contracts forbidding employees from direct competition and I even have a side job arranged by the boss himself.

    Should she be open to our boss about this? Do you ladies have any suggestions for creatively advertising one’s services? Are these any other issues to watch out for? She is not soliciting current or former clients of the company.

    We provide accounting and financial services

    • Mischief Managed

      I would tread carefully if I were your colleague. This issue is state law specific, but in my state, she could get slapped with an unfair competition suit regardless of whether she has a noncompete agreement.

  16. canadaanon

    double post
    threadjack
    Hi all, I’m a frequent reader and appreciate the thoughtful comments and insights from the smart ladies here.

    My colleague is starting a side business in direct competition with our company and she’s wondering how to go about marketing her services. My company is on all the usual s!tes and we normally visit them for clients.
    There is no clause in our contracts forbidding employees from direct competition and I even have a side job arranged by the boss himself.

    Should she be open to our boss about this? Do you ladies have any suggestions for creatively advertising one’s services? Are these any other issues to watch out for? She is not soliciting current or former clients of the company.

    We provide accounting and financial services

    • mascot

      This whole thing just seems risky. Even if a company doesn’t have a problem with its employees moonlighting or having side businesses, having a side business that is direct competition to your employer raises all sorts of issues potentially. Sure she may not be soliciting the clients, but would she represent them if they contacted her? Does that create a conflict of interest in your industry? Is there confidential or proprietary information at stake, either on the company/competitor side or the client side? If there is training or continuing education that the employer pays for that is also necessary for the side business, does she get to use that for her personal benefit of the side business? It may be that she can work something out, but I see a lot of red flags that are more pressing than just how to market.

  17. Medic Maggie

    You will not believe what a difference the same hangers makes in your closet for organization/keeping things neat-looking. I used to have everything on plastic hangers, but was having trouble with some falling off the hanger because of strappy tops, or wide necklines, and it just looked haphazard, even though they were all plastic hangers, they were different types, different colors, etc.

    Lo and behold, enter the flocked hanger. $4.99/10 at TJM. I bought 30 to start with, and I intend to replace every single hanger in my closet with them. It also shows me I have too many clothes. Which is all part of this closet-purge/reorganize event. But, the flocking keeps everything on the hangers! (And I can pass the plastic ones down to my 6-year-old whose shirts are now too big for the baby hangers)

    Over the weekend, I cleared out about 8 tops, 4 pairs of jeans & 2 pairs of pants. Maybe 3-4 sweaters. I’m still not done, but I need to get my clothes out before adding to the chaos. I took 2 laundry baskets to Plato’s Closet, and got $20; and I will send the rest of the items to ThredUp. Hopefully I’ll get a little more out of them too. The cool thing is, what they don’t sell, they will donate. So, it’s out of my house forever. It sure beats actual consignment, and certainly beats ebay or craigslist.

    How do you purge/reorganize? How frequently? Do you have matchy hangers? What are some of the best tips/products that you have found for closet organization?

    • anonsg

      I used to sort clothes by hanger color – work tops black plastic hangers, sweaters green plastic hangers, suit jackets on my nicer wooden hangers, etc. If my clothes didn’t stay on hangers, they didn’t deserve space in my closet and were folded into a drawer in my dresser.

      I reorganize rarely (twice a year? hahahah). When I get lazy, the hangers don’t match – I just pull whatever available hanger I have.

  18. (Former) Clueless Summer

    How do you deal with insufferable and condescending opposing counsel? Every exchange is accompanied by a snarky “if you had done X…” and every rationale is, “this is the way we do things”. I am used to dealing with aggression/being aggressive but most counsel I deal with don’t make it personal, we all understand that keeping it civil makes everything better for everyone.

    • AnonLawMom

      You get the deal done as quickly as possible and try not to take it personally. And trash talk them to your colleagues if it helps. There’s really no fixing people like this.

    • Anonattorney

      Ha, I just had a call like this. The other (older male) attorney told me condescendingly “this is how negotiations go – we came up so you need to come down.” I said “thank you for the insight into how negotiations work, but that’s not how this negotiation is going to go. We’re not coming down.” And then I repeated why our initial offer was fair. We got our number.

      I just stuck to my facts and the law that was on my side and clearly and calmly restated our position. People like that are just trying to bully and fluster you. Stick to your guns.

    • Toffee

      Following, except it’s not opposing counsel, it’s my senior associate. He has literally told me “this is all wrong” about a document that had large sections copied directly into our pleading (so clearly wasn’t all wrong) and that I made every mistake possible on every task so far. *sigh* I am so tired of job hunting, but I refuse to put up with this crap.

  19. (Former) Clueless Summer

    Trying to get out of moderation…

    How do you deal with insufferable and condescending opposing counsel? Every exchange is accompanied by a sn@rky “if you had done X…” and every rationale is, “this is the way we do things”. I am used to dealing with aggr ession/being aggr essive but most counsel I deal with don’t make it personal, we all understand that keeping it civil makes everything better for everyone.

    • Silver

      The louder they get, the more softer your response. There is no way other than to ignore the snark, focus on what your goals and only flip out only selectively (and when appropriate, after ignoring has no longer worked). Let the other side behave inappropriately on paper so that if you one day need to show a judge what happened, you look reasonable while they look foolish. Stinks though, and def can wreck your mood but you have to get past it. They are likely blustering because they don’t have anything meritorious to argue.

      • Anon

        Exactly. He wants to rile you up too and then beat you at his stupid game. In the immortal words of that 80s classic, War Games, “The only way to win is not to play”.

    • S

      I become insufferably cheerful and upbeat first and hope that does the trick. Then, if needed I address the comment directly but lightheartedly — “whoa, no need to get critical” or “you sound very stressed out about this, can we just [decide a return date, or whatever the actual question is].”

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      Thanks ladies. Cheerful and friendly is usually my approach to this in non-work life but trying to negotiate with someone like this is just driving me insane.

    • RR

      I employ schoolteacher mode. The nicer, more reasonable you are, the harder it is for them to be a jerk (and the more they look like a jerk in comparison to you). It’s perfect and has the side benefit of annoying most of them. It’s almost always worked for me (with the exception of one really bad guy), and I’ve gotten everything from begrudging improved behavior to emails telling me what a credit I am to my firm (from a guy who had previously hung up on another associate). In really egregious situations, I employ a “Name, I know that we are all frustrated here, but the sarcasm/anger/insults/etc. are not necessary.” That pops the balloon really quickly for most of the ones I deal with.

  20. lhh

    Salary negotiation help…

    I’m applying for an internal position that would move me from a mid-level analyst to a manager in the department. I would be managing analysts and client relationships.

    I have an interview/meeting regarding the position Monday and I’m trying to prep myself for negotiation talks. We’re a lean organization so salaries aren’t generous. I feel like I am on the low end for my position but think a 20k raise would be appropriate for the positions (30%).

    Any articles or tips you could direct me to? I feel like if I don’t get the 20k, I’ll seriously start looking for other jobs.

    • NYNY

      A 30% increase for a bump up one level is likely asking a lot. Do you have any way to research the salary range before you meet? If nothing concrete, glassdoor and salary dot com can be helpful.

  21. Manhattanite

    Former litigator here. Remember they are full of it and just trying to psyche you out.

  22. Medic Maggie

    dear sweet mother of lingerie gods. I have purchased 2 bras in a size that I have not been since middle school. PTL. I love my tiny b00bs. Let’s hope that when they arrive in the mail, they are everything I hope that they will be.

      • Medic Maggie

        weight loss. I went from a 34F (nursing in summer 2011) to 36DD, to 32DD for a long while, then 30DD for another long while, now 32B/C. Not having the giant weight has let me loosen up on the band size and still get support!

        (and, just for a giggle, if you read the last 2 sentences, it sounds like I am awaiting the arrival of my tiny b00bs in the mail.)

  23. People's Republic

    Any of you drier-skinned ladies have a drugstore foundation or tinted moisturizer that you like? I just ran out of my “higher end” stuff and was wondering whether it’s really worth the additional money. I’m looking to try something from the drugstore to see if it works just as well (and add a few bucks back into my pocket!). Thank you!!

    • Anonymous

      Love the Maybelline BB cream. Recently switched from the Mac tinted moisturizer (well, almost a year ago now) and haven’t looked back.

  24. Anonymous

    Shopping help please! My husband and I are attending a wedding at Sunset Cliffs Inn in San Diego in three weeks. I will be approximately 20 weeks pregnant. Any suggestions? The invitations says “beach casual”. I live in Colorado, I don’t know what beach casual really means. What about my husband, what should he wear?

  26. Wildkitten

    Okay I need a travel bag that is professional. I am thinking Lo & Sons TT. Can I mix a coupon with the current sale? Should I wait for another sale? Should I get a different bag? Buying purses online is really stressful since I can’t hold them and smell them and fall in love…

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