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We've covered foldable flats a few times in the past, so I don't write about them often, but I definitely use the few pairs I have pretty frequently — I even took some with me to my cousin's wedding a few months ago as a back-up option. I love the little mesh details and fun colors on these Penelope flats. They're available in sizes 6-11, for $54.95, at Nordstrom. Footzyfolds Penelope FlatSales of note for 10.24.24
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- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Quick threadjack on finances
Does anyone have a good reference for financial planning for older people? It looks like we may need to step in and help my ILs sort out their financial picture, and while I have a good handle on what things someone my age (30s) needs to think about for now and future, I’m less clear on the things that a late-60s couple should be considering.
Thanks!
Ellen
Yay! Coffee Break! I am drinkeing coffe right now and reading this p’ost! I am to short to love flat’s tho. I prefer 4″ heels b/c they give me stature, at least acording to the manageing partner’s brother (who I think took at least one pair of my pantie’s around Labor day. FOOEY on him, b/c I would never take his smelly underwear.)
As for the OP, I recomend looking at the Financial Planning website of the AARP (american association of retired persons). If you want some place other then the USA, I cannot recommend any place. Here is the hyperlink.
http://www.aarp.org/benefits-discounts/financial-services/?intcmp=MBCH-NAV-FS-121212
Dad knows all this stuff, but he does NOT have a website, so you should just read this stuff from AARP. If you can understand it, you will be almost as smart as my dad, b/c he has a PhD and is a professor. YAY!!
He say’s I am smart, but I do NOT know all this stuff and have delegated all of this kind of thinking to him, and to my eventual HUSBAND, who will have to manage this for me, b/c I do NOT care all that much about finance’s, as long as I have my clotheing allowance, and then have an allowance for shoppeing for him and the kid’s! I want to be JUST like ROSA, b/c Ed let’s her do anything she wants. YAY!!!
roses
I’d see if your local AARP has any referrals.
Quick threadjack on finances
Thank you roses and Ellen (I can’t believe I just got substantive advice from Ellen – my daey is compleet!)
KittyKat
GAP PSA: awesome sweaters in natural fabrics. Cotton, cashmere, wool, silk in a variety of blends. I was very impressed in the cuts (shape of knit?) and fabrics.
houda
I’m traveling to the US in 3 weeks, hopefully they will still be there so I can stock up
locomotive
I tried stitchfix and got my first shipment last week and LOVED the picks the stylist made for me. I kept everything – three tops and two pairs of jeans. The tops were ones I wouldn’t have chosen for myself in a store, but they looked great on and I really like how they injected some freshness into my wardrobe!
M2
I wanted to love StitchFix, but after a few months I gave up. While the pants they sent were generally better quality (and they did send me a pair of jeans that fit––clearly witchcraft), I was not impressed with the tops for the price. For an average of $48 each, I want something that has a shape and that I cannot easily imagine finding at Forever 21 or elsewhere for 50-60% less. I may try again at some point in time when I am willing and able to put some effort into making a pinterest board.
locomotive
I can see what you’re saying. The tops I have are synthetic materials and ‘fun’ tops, but I guess I am just not normally a very imaginative dresser and I was really pleased with suggestions that I wouldn’t have normally picked and looked great. I agree that the jeans I got are WITCHCRAFT – they’re a brand called ‘just black’ and fit my pear shape really flatteringly.
Wildkitten
I like it to perk up my casual wardrobe so I am not just wearing 5k t-shirts every weekend, but its not good for business clothes or for actually filling needs in my warddrobe.
Anon
I’ve been bummed out by my fixes lately too. A lot of expensive stuff made from cheap looking fabrics. And despite my begging them to stop, they keep sending me stripes.
Grays
Was anyone else kind of disturbed by the vacation cancellation discussion on the weekend thread? I honestly can’t help feeling that if I worked somewhere where the expectation was that every vacation, even special international ones, could be cancelled at a moment’s notice for some “unavoidable” work thing, I’d be looking for another job stat. That honestly seems so inexcusable to me. I could see doing it ONCE for a true emergency (as in the office burned down or something), but repeatedly? No way.
P.S. Kat, please fix the “commenting too fast” thing. It has always been beyond annoying and readers have asked you about it a hundred times.
KittyKat
It freaked me out. Vacations are expensive, a job can’t expect me to throw away money like that. I can *maybe* understand if you are a partner or owner, but nothing else. Even as some sort or CEO/CFO/upper management you are entitled to your time off, no questions, your company has to sort things out and you have no responsibility to go beyond.
Anonymous
Big law firms pay good money to buy all your time. Yes. The expect you to be able to eat the cost, get really good travel insurance, or book refundable tickets.
The idea that a CEO has an entitlement to time off no questions asked, no possibility of needing to cancel is laughably out of touch with reality.
A good company tries not to make it’s employees cancel vacations, but sometimes it happens.
anon for this
I have a CMO in my family and they never miss holidays, sure they email and take calls, but I’ve never had a Christmas or family event without them. This is a multibillion dollar publicly traded, household company.
anon
Does trip insurance kick in b/c of work emergencies? Bad work scheduling? I thought it was for illness (which I’d assume they’d verify) or hurricanes. I would have thought that working in BigLaw made your vacation plan cancellation risk uninsurable. No?
Baconpancakes
There’s different levels of trip insurance. If you pay more, you can usually cancel for any reason. Depends on the provider. I had a trip planned that had a 30% chance of being cancelled, and I bought the extra insurance for peace of mind. $60 on a $700 plane ticket. Definitely worth it.
LH
If you buy insurance when you book the trip, you can buy a work cancellation option (very little additional cost over the basic travel insurance and it covers all travelers if any one traveler has to work). I think in some cases you may need a letter from your employer if you have to cancel. I’ve bought this for every trip I’ve taken since starting work but I’ve never had to use it so I don’t know how easy it is to get a payout if you need it.
In additional to travel insurance, I usually book refundable hotels and don’t book activities until we’re really close to leaving, so that if we did have to cancel and couldn’t get a full payout from the insurance we would just have to eat the cost of a rebooking fee on the plane tickets.
DCR
When I have had to cancel a trip for work, the firm reimbursed me any money that I was out. Another time, I had to come back early from my vacation and the firm paid for the extra ticket. This is pretty standard at my big law office.
Is that not standard?
anon-oh-no
sorry, but this isn’t how it works in biglaw. you make tons of money working in big law. that’s why this is expected. if you want to be able to vacation as you please, then work somewhere else. But I would (and do) trade the money, love of my work, and folks I work with for having to cancel (or work on) the occasional vacation.
Ginjury
Did you report it to the tech team?
ETA: In posting this, I experienced the same thing (again) and did finally report it to the tech team. Perhaps if we all report the issue something will actually get done about it?
Kat G
Ginjury, meant to write back to you – thank you for reporting it to the tech team. My tech guy is looking into it and said he tried to tweak the code… Sounds like there’s no noticeable improvement?
IBank
It’s a reality of some jobs, including mine. I get compensated generously and I love what I do, so it’s a trade off. I knew it when I took the job, and my husband and I have frequent conversations about it – is it sustainable for when kids come into the picture? Is this the life we want? Etc. (His job doesn’t have the same requirements). No doubt it’s not for everyone.
Jan
While we’re airing s!te grievances, can we please also remove s!te from the banned words list? It’s ridiculous that using that word will get posts sent into moderation, only to appear 5 hours later when everyone has moved on and won’t see it. What is so offensive about the word s!te that warrants this? It was particularly annoying on last week’s online dating post where inevitably most comments were going to discuss experiences with dating webs!tes.
Anonymous
I also can’t help but feel like the people who do cancel vacations are part of the problem. Put your foot down and risk being fired for it. But if its accepted by people, then it becomes acceptable. I know these jobs pay a lot of money and people have built their lifestyles to depend on that kind of income, but I’d rather have a small house and a reliable car than fancy things that need to be supported by a job where there is no value or regard for my outside life. It seems so stressful and not worth it.
Anonymous
My job isn’t supporting a lifestyle of fancy things. It’s paying off my student loans and letting me save for a downpayment on a small house someday. I’m well compensating and not whining about it, but I’m offended by the implication that everything would be fine and I could risk getting fired if only I weren’t so fancy.
pockets
“Put your foot down and risk being fired for it.”
This x 100000.
cbackson
Well, in part, that’s why you don’t work at this kind of job. I’m willing to accept the demands for a variety of reasons (my work is interesting, challenging, etc.), including that I like my lifestyle – both the shallow bits (fancy condo, expensive shoes) and the less-shallow bits (able to save a ton for the future, able to support charities that I care about). If, at some point, the trade-offs aren’t worth it to me, I won’t do it anymore.
Anonymous
I get that it is about personal choice and priorities, and I probably should have separated the ideas. I just wish that people could stop the madness and say, “no! I will not cancel this vacation and its absurd to think that there’s anything that is such an emergency that you need *all* (and this is biglaw, so there’s lot of hands) hands on deck. ” It becomes a cycle because then the people who have cancelled a vacation become the people demanding that vacations get cancelled. (Because I had to do it, so you should too). Break the cycle people! Stop the madness.
Anon
There are valid points throughout this thread. I have willingly traded some flexibility for a Biglaw salary, and that includes occasionally canceling a vacation. The paycheck means I can have more shoes than I need, buy some organic food, consistently pay my modest rent and massive student loans, and save for retirement. But I certainly do not live a life of luxury (i.e., with a few years in, as a single person, I don’t and can’t afford to drive a fancy car, buy the Monday (or Tuesday) Corporette picks, or even own a home). What I am growing weary of, though, is working for people who treat my scheduling a vacation, weeks in advance, at a time when there are no deadlines, as taboo and a reason to treat me like I am not a team player just because there is the off chance that something might possibly come up later, and then treat me as if I am in the office while I’m gone, but as if I’ve been a huge drain on the office when I return. I’ve found this to be a common law partner trait, and it is totally unacceptable.
Grays
+1
anon
+1 to Anon at 4:10.
Anonymous
Also, I should point out that my work is really challenging and interesting as well and I’m shallow and like my fancy things. I’m just not willing to trade my happiness and my family’s happiness for a paycheck.
anon
“I’m just not willing to trade my happiness and my family’s happiness for a paycheck.”
Everyone has their own sweet spot where they think the paycheck and the happiness balances, but man, is this reads like a statement from someone who has always had enough money to meet her needs. For many people, choosing to work for a paycheck is not all about being unwilling to pare down your lifestyle. People have real financial obligations, like ill family members, children, school debt.
“Put your foot down and risk being fired for it.”
No. You know what would make me and my family really unhappy? My being unemployed.
Anonymous
Well aren’t you just perfect then!
ETA: in reference to my famines happiness is just too important to me. Gag. As though I hate my family because there’s a risk I might need to cancel one vacation every five years. It’s nice you live in magic land of jobs that are challenging and pay well that never require canceling plans. Not all of us do.
KittyKat
To ‘anon’ you shouldn’t be taking a vacation if you are in dire need of money. This whole post is presupposed by the idea of being financially stable. Vacations come with financial stability.
Anonymous
@ KittyKat. Are you really this naive? Do you not understand that there is a range of finances in which you have savings and can afford a vacation, but just the same everything wouldn’t be hunky dory if you lost your job? How is the weather today in the land of make believe?
Anonymous
To anon @ 3:54. If you are working for biglaw, you can probably get a job elsewhere. This isn’t about choosing to work for a paycheck. Its about choosing to work in that particular environment for a paycheck. Of course people have needs that their paycheck supports, but there’s a whole lot of area in between biglaw paycheck and paycheck.
$$
In response to Anonymous @ 4:25 – I worked in Big Law until I was let go for financial reasons. I had great experience, a great resume (schools, etc), but it was still really difficult to find new employment in a bad market. I’m very happy with where I ended up but it took months to find. And I was definitely looking in that “whole lot of area in between biglaw paycheck and paycheck” – I wasn’t laser-focused on replacement-biglaw-or-bust.
Also, having to potentially cancel a vacation due to a work emergency (real or firedrill) is a known possibility going into BigLaw. If i’m going to put my foot down and risk getting fired, it wouldn’t have been for something I knew about going into it.
That said, I do think it’s a bad practice that is largely perpetuated unnecessarily, and I’m very happy that the new job I found wasn’t in biglaw.
anon
@ anon at 4:25- and why do you think a person simply doesn’t need a biglaw payscale? Yes, there’s a lot of area between big law paycheck and paycheck, but who do you are to judge how much of a paycheck someone needs?
I made the choice to work in midlaw instead of biglaw because it works for me. I have a pretty comfortable work-life balance (could be better!) in exchange for not being on-call all the time and having a firm that doesn’t scold us about billables. My salary is good and fair, but I look at big law salaries sometimes and think, WOW, I’d be making significantly more progress saving/ paying down my debt if I worked in big law. If I had a family required me to incur additional expenses, I’d have worked in big law for that big law paycheck.
cbackson
But the thing is, what is happiness? I’m not trading happiness for a paycheck – the paycheck is, in a not very significant way, helping me to have that happiness. It lets me be a significant donor to two charities that are very important to me. It lets me take the international trips that I love. It let me buy a home in a great neighborhood with awesome schools, where I can live a mostly walking lifestyle (including to work) in a non-walking city. And it enables me to plan for my financial future, which is incredibly important to me. Have I canceled vacations? Yes. Do I work on vacation? Generally, yes, although I can put a cap on it. Is it worth it to me? Hands down, definitely, yes.
You’re assuming that it’s either happiness + less money or unhappiness + biglaw salary. It doesn’t have to be that way. I’m the happiest lawyer I know (in biglaw or out).
KT
Ok, but everyone here seems to be missing the point: If you have vacation days as part of your compensation, you are entitled to use them. They are yours. You work for them. You can legally take them whenever you want. Everyone keeps saying “Oh well that’s why I make the big bucks.” Well, for most of you, I’m assuming that you also get compensated in vacay days and not just money. So use them.
anon
“So use them.”
Yes, a certain number of days are yours but there’s no guarantee of taking them whenever you want. We aren’t just talking about whether you can go on vacation AT ALL, but whether you are entitled to live a life in which your vacations are never canceled. I can’t schedule my vacation during trial prep, even though I’m entitled to those days. Why? Because I have responsibilities to my partners and my clients.
Sure, you CAN legally say no, you won’t cancel your vacation. But at what cost? Risking your job? For some of us, that’s like cutting your nose to spite your face. Does it suck? Yes. Do you know that you’re making that trade off going in into it? Yes. Everyone has to choose for themselves where they feel comfortable drawing the line between putting their foot down and doing what the job asks.
meara
There’s a lot of required/regulatory documentation at my job, and one of the things is keeping it updated, because we have many times reminded people “if it’s in your head but not saved somewhere we know of, or on paper, and you get hit by a bus tomorrow, we are SOL”. So to a certain extent, that’s the answer for expectations like canceling a vacation. Obviously some flexibility may be warranted depending on nature of emergency/length of vacation/ability to work remotely/location of vacation, but…I figure if we are scolding others about having stuff up to date and replicable/findable/able to be picked up by someone else, then we need to do the same.
AnonLawMom
I missed the other discussion but I agree with this comment. I think cancelling vacation can sometimes be necessary but most of the time I actually see people doing this, it is not actually required and is rather something they do to try to prove how indispensable they are or because they never learned how to reasonably stand up for themselves. I get that biglaw pays us for our time, but we aren’t slaves and I am frankly really tired of the attitude that our salaries justify terrible treatment. The reality is that to get a biglaw job you are likely in the top single digit percentage of the population in intelligence, work ethic, education etc. and acting like we are just paid for our time is just plain wrong. I, for one, know that I get paid because I solve problems creatively, am reliable, am incredibly efficient, have an ability to relate to clients, among many other things, NOT because I am a person willing to put my personal life aside whenever I am asked.
A-non, A-oui
+1
Curly Sue
I don’t know, maybe I’m desensitized to it, but as a BigLaw associate, I get that it comes with the territory. As a junior associate, I am paid (and the firm charges) far, far more than the value I can add. It’s a bit depressing, but I consider that the firm bought my time and availability for that money. The money comes in exchange for less flexibility and the possibility of intrusions. That money would also buy refundable tickets/trip insurance if I thought I’d have to cancel, or pay for another vacation when things calm down, or whatever. In three years I’ve only canceled one planned trip, but it happens and sometimes it’s unavoidable.
anon
In 15 years, I have only canceled one trip, changed the dates on one vacation, and worked significantly on one vacation (I work a little on most vacations, but there was one trip that I wound up working basically the whole time). But I make a lot of money and this is just part of the job. You get a lot of leeway with things as you get more senior, but yes, there is a good chance you would get fired if you declined to cancel your vacation when you were needed at work.
Hologram
Yes. I’ve been in the military and done a lot of defense-related work, so I totally get that sometimes things outside of anyone’s control can crop up at the last minute and demand long hours and vacation cancellations. But everywhere I’ve worked, there’s always an effort to minimize impact to people who had standing plans…and we’re talking about things literally blowing up, not just money or deals. It’s mind-boggling to me that people accept that kind of stuff outside of a life or death situation (I guess that shows how important my vacations are to me). No judgement if that’s the entry price for a field you love, I just had no idea, and now I’m really glad I don’t have one of those jobs.
Baconpancakes
“we’re talking about things literally blowing up, not just money or deals.”
Wow, great perspective. I understand that it’s industry-dependent, and yes, it’s perfectly expected in certain industries, but I think the point is that it shouldn’t be. This is particularly striking when we compare expectations in other countries. I don’t know about BigLaw in other countries, but in general, I know most European countries respect vacations and personal time much more than we do in the US, and I do find it sad that there’s such an American culture of pride in martyring yourself for your career. (Not sure if any of the above commentors are non-US, but I know that’s a common US BigLaw attitude.)
Blonde Lawyer
This. I just don’t understand what can’t be continued. Things are not literally blowing up. If they are, different story. Almost everything in law can wait ten days with court approval. I understand there are exceptions for criminal matters and emergency “do we pull the plug on grandma” hearings. Everything else is fake urgency.
Grays
That’s exactly my problem with it – the fake urgency thing. Even for the people here who say the trade-off is worth it, why should you have to uproot your plans because of something that isn’t even a real emergency? There is almost always a way around making someone cancel their vacation, whether it’s the norm for the firm or not. I do feel that people feeling like they “have” to do this or the company “bought” the right to do this is contributing to the problem never going away.
Anonymous
This this this.
And people perpetuate this nonsense when they say, “that’s just the way it is in X industry.”
Blonde Lawyer
At an old job I had a big international trip planned. My review was a month after my return. I hadn’t completed our discovery responses in full before I left but the partner hadn’t given me the okay to ask for an extension. I was still too junior to have direct contact with opposing counsel. In my review she said “well, you are lucky I completed these. What would you have done if you were the only attorney on the file?” I said “ask for an extension.” And she said, well, what if he said no? To which I replied, finish them on my return anyway. She looked at me aghast. I then reminded her that in our state opposing counsel has to wait at least a week on late discovery, then ask where it is, and after not being able to work out a resolution, and only then, file a motion to compel or for conditional default. If it is conditional default, the court will still give thirty more days to remedy before final default is granted. So, I would ignore the blow hard that wouldn’t grant an extension and there would be no penalty whatsoever to me or my client. The reviewing partner had no response to this and I chose to go elsewhere more in line with my thinking. Not sure I changed her mind though about “urgency.”
January
Yeah, but… there are plenty of other people who would love to have your job, or so we’re led to believe. I don’t know what the answer is, exactly — I tend to agree with you that vacation/personal time ought to be sacred, but I also think this is a question of personal values where it’s probably best to seek a good fit between your values re: vacations and the employer’s. I’m kind of a pessimist, though. :)
pockets
@Blonde Lawyer – as someone who deals with the stuff every day, an attorney who made a motion to compel/for default for late discovery responses after they refused you an extension would, at best, be laughed out of court, possibly with a huge eye-roll from the judge.
Blonde Lawyer
Just to be clear with my situation above, I also didn’t procrastinate on my work and leave the partner in the lurch. She had sat on the assignment and gave it to me two days before my vacation knowing it was due in the middle of my vacation. I told her I would get done what I could and return the rest to her if she didn’t ask OC for an extension.
pockets
Agree SO HARD. There are virtually no real “emergencies” in the law (how many biglaw lawyers are practicing criminal law with a client sitting in jail or litigating whether to pull the plug on grandma). It’s 90% self-importance and Stockholm Syndrome. You can get an extension on virtually ANYTHING for any reason or no reason at all. I went on maternity leave for four months and all my matters were just on hold for that time (or other people doing bare-bones maintenance) and the world continued.
VeryAnon
I’m clerking for a trial court judge, and honestly, y’all need to take your vacations. I’m constantly appalled by the sloppy work we see–failing to include exhibits (but referring to them anyway in briefs), citing to cases that don’t actually support your argument, incoherent arguments…and these are graduates of top law schools. Seriously, take a vacation and get some rest so that you’re actually able to do your job.
anon
Lol. The fact that you think a lack of rest is what causes this problem is cute.
-former law clerk.
VeryAnon
I’m really really really trying to believe that they’re not all incompetent.
anon
To veryanon-
Try harder. I felt the same while I was clerking for a federal judge. There obviously were some clearly competent attorneys but it seemed that even the best ones stretched arguments once in a while or had a brief where the formatting wasn’t juuuuuuuust perfect. And then there were the downright abysmal briefs. My judge demanded perfection in all writing and would call us back into his office to point out typos, and we’d spend days editing even simple orders until he was satisfied.
I got into private practice and realized that a) very few clients want to pay for a lawyer to spend as much time as a brief requires to really be a near perfect product b) a lawyer usually doesn’t have the time required to make each brief a near perfect product even if the client would pay for it. Once you have hundreds of cases to manage and lots of clients bugging you, maybe you’ll understand that you can’t spend 5 more hours to edit an already ‘pretty good’ brief when you have another client that needs you to prepare for a hearing that starts in 5 hours.
That doesn’t even begin to take into account the fact that some issues with submissions to the court are caused by incompetent support staff.
cbackson
We’re not all litigators, though. In general, my client emergency is “X very bad thing happened, and it’s going to be all over the newspapers tomorrow, help!” There is no continuance for that.
anon
Same. I do a lot of regulatory compliance work in addition to my litigation practice. In the past two weeks I have had to file an emergency motion in my litigation practice (yes, they happen), and also had to deal with an investigation and potential enforcement action that popped up overnight with one of my regulatory compliance clients. We asked the attorney general’s office for an extension to deal with the enforcement action. Didn’t get it.
LH
The OP said they had to cancel a planned weekend trip. I understand that’s disappointing, but, to me at least, it’s a whole different level than asking someone to cancel a major international vacation. I’m a midlevel and no one has ever suggested I cancel a weeklong or more vacation. I have had to skip a couple of weekend trips. I would have gone had it been really important (family member’s wedding, etc.) and just worked the entire time, but instead I opted to cancel since I knew I wouldn’t be getting anything out of it and it was easier to work in the office.
Pity, Party of 1
OP from the weekend thread here.
FWIW, my fiance is in finance, not law. We did end up having to cancel our weekend trip, which was disappointing but manageable. We do have a 10-day Italian vacation planned in three weeks, and I am really, truly, sincerely hoping that we’re still able to go on that larger, international trip. He’s said he’s still unsure as to whether or not we’ll be able to go to Italy, but hopefully, as things calm down enough over the next week or two and the “fire drill” fog clears, Italy can become more of a sure thing.
It’s really tough, and I don’t think there are any right answers – I guess it depends on what you prioritize. My FI is well compensated for what he does, and he has some lofty career goals, so doing well and being respected at work is very important to him. I want to be supportive and understanding of what he’s going through and appreciative of the lifestyle his job provides (we wouldn’t be going an international vacation of this caliber with my paychecks, sadly). But part of me wants to put my foot down and insist that his firm can survive without him for a week or so while we go on our first vacation in over a year.
LH
Ah, I missed that your big vacation was in question too. That really stinks. Hope it all works out & you’re able to go.
Tibby
Chiming in late here, but I have to say, I’ve heard of people at BigLaw firms canceling vacations because of work, but have NEVER heard of the attorney involved having to eat the cost!!!!! I think my firm is pretty good about only asking people to cancel when it’s absolutely necessary, and they always pay for any missed flights/canceled hotel rooms/tours/etc. That’s the norm across the board from what I’ve heard from friends, too. I didn’t realize there even were firms that didn’t pay when people have to cancel. Also, FWIW, I’m a fifth year at a V10 firm and I’ve never had to cancel a vacation, even a long weekend, and I’ve never had to do actual work on a week-long or longer vacation, only weekends out of town. That’s not the case for everyone at my firm or even in my department; it’s been partially luck and partially scheduling vacations only when my cases are relatively slow.
AN
This happened to me three months ago. Major foreign holiday cancelled by DH’s work 10 hours before we were due to board. But we were compensated for every dollar that we had paid out. And we managed to go after two weeks. But we were lucky that my work was manageable at the time. If not, we’d have had to shelve the trip.
houda
I cancelled my vacation for the 3rd time.
Fingers crossed, I should be able to go away in 3 weeks, and it’s not even to be on a sunny beach. I take my vacations to work on my social activities
Anonymous
How many belts do you own? I’m trying to decide how many I need, and I wear pants and skirts about equally.
Susie
20, but I rarely wear them! About 12 are black in various widths and styles. One red, one snakeskin, a few brown. One with fish on it, from when I worked in a seafood restaurant.
Wildkitten
Two but I only wear one of them. (This isn’t actually helpful information I am just giving a different perspective to Susie who apparently owns as many belts as I do items of clothing).
hoola hoopa
Three. One black, one brown, and one fun colored skinny. I could maybe work in one more fun color, but I don’t feel the need.
I wear pants and dresses equally, but I only wear belts with dresses. I definitely don’t need as many sizes since I’m not trying to match belt loops.
Samantha
Two (one broad, one skinny) but I don’t wear either of them. Bought them to either consider the belted cardigan look or to make up the total for free shipping, I don’t remember which.
Anon
+1. This thread is actually reminding me to list the three skinny belts that I purchased and never wore on eBay. Someone will wear them, but that someone is apparently not me.
Anonymous OP
any particular thoughts on leopard print belts? I bought one and am not sure I want to keep it. It’s beautiful, but on the fence about whether it’s “me,” whether leopard print in general looks nice as office wear, and whether it’s even worth having a fun-colored belt. I tend toward minimalism/ simplicity with my wardrobe in general.
Monday
Think of it as a way to avoid looking like a caterer if you wear black pants and a white shirt.
First Year Anon
I recently bought a leopard belt and it is very versatile. I think it is a great neutral and can be used with all colors. highly recommend getting one.
mat leave
I’m not planning to be sticking around for too much longer in my biglaw job, but recently got married and am thinking about having a baby sooner rather than later (maybe 1-2 years earlier than “ideal”) just to take advantage of the maternity leave. Thoughts on this? Or thoughts on purposefully planning your departure around maternity leave?
Spirograph
I’m not in law, but why not? I figure that my company and I are both trying to get the maximum benefit from our relationship. I don’t expect that they show me their entire hand, and I don’t show mine either. Everyone for herself!
West Coast Lawyer
There are so many things to take into consideration, but I’ll mention 2. First, 6 months fully-paid maternity leave is awesome. Particularly with your first, where I felt like it took much longer to find my groove.
However, you also need to take into account your current level of job satisfaction and how badly you want to leave. I can say from experience, that the setbacks that can be common in pregnancy (fertility issues, miscarriage, or just the fact that it takes a while for some people even without any “problems”) can be even more frustrating when you see them as both the loss that they are but also extending your time in a job you don’t want to be in anymore.
Having had baby #2 in a job where I was much happier but only got 3 months of leave, I was glad I didn’t stick around in BigLaw for several more years just for the additional leave.
Sarabeth
Yup. Had a friend in this exact situation (6 months paid leave, job she hated, fertility issues). It sucked, and she decided to go ahead and get a new job. She is now so much happier, albeit still not pregnant.
Anonykitten
I would certainly consider it. I turned down an attractive lateral offer because my firm had much better maternity leave; I knew we would try to have a baby soon. When I had my baby 18 months later, I took my full leave (18 weeks paid!), plus vacation, plus a few weeks unpaid, and was out for 5 months. It was glorious. NONE of the moms I met had anything approaching that much leave, and I think it was a major part of why I had no regrets about my return to work.
I’ve been back from leave for almost a year, and looking for a new job the entire time, but part of me thinks I should have another baby now just to take advantage of a second maternity leave. (And in case anyone thinks this is selfish and entitled, I have made this firm plenty of money over the past 6+ years.)
That being said, WCL is right — you might start TTC soon but have it take a long time. On the other hand, if you need infertility benefits, Biglaw may be there for you.
Wildkitten
What do you want to do after? If you are planning to SAHM and just want your full 6 months of benefits that’s fine but if you are planning to get another job after having the baby I’d plan around the best way to get that. Do you want to be settled into a new job before you have the kid? Or do you want to job search while on leave with an infant? Or are you going to go back to your job and then start looking?
tesyaa
I remember some previous comments where some firms require “benefits” to be repaid if you leave within X weeks of your maternity leave. Or am I misremembering?
kc
Nope that was a few weeks ago. and afterwards I looked up my company’s policy, and I would have to repay my entire maternity leave if I left within 6 months of coming back, and then a percentage of it up to a year after coming back.
AnonLawMom
Absolutely. One amazing thing about biglaw are the maternity benefits. IMO, if everything else is not for you, at least stay long enough to get this one amazing benefit. And then call it even.
Anonymous
One thing to keep in mind is: do you want to work in Big Law while pregnant? Given how exhausted I am now, I can’t imagine doing this job while pregnant. I’m also not sure the stress would be good for the baby. For that reason, I’m planning to hold off on trying until I’m somewhere else.
Anonymous
FFS!!!!!! The stress of working an office job is not “bad for the baby.” The stress of living in a war zone is. If babies were that easy to mess up we’d have died out by now.
Anonymous
Not the stress of a normal office job, no. But I’ve spoken to a doctor and read a couple books that suggest that major work stress can have lasting negative effects. I don’t think that pulling regular all-nighters, regularly getting less than 6 hours of sleep a night and working 70 or more hours week in, week out, never exercising, and pushing myself to the brink of my physical limits is particularly good for my health, let alone the health of any potential baby. Maybe these things aren’t part of her job, but they’re part of mine & a lot of similar ones. I did not say “your baby will surely be doomed if you do this.” Of course not. But people avoid lots of things during pregnancy because there’s a small chance they might not be good for the baby.
naps FTW
The good news is that if you are still in BigLaw when you get pregnant, you will be so tired that sleeping 6 hours a night will be the least of your problems! ;)
Ha
Regularly getting less than 6 hours of sleep and not having time to eat right or exercise: story of my life and probably lots of other working moms with small children. They still have siblings.
SF in House
What do people think of Amal Alamuddin’s wedding dress? I was surprised that it wasn’t more traditional, but she looked gorgeous in it!
Miss Behaved
Where did you see a picture of it? I thought only vogue had the exclusive. The dresses I’ve seen were for the days before (the black and white striped, the gorgeous red high-low dress, and the short dress on Sunday), although there are reports that it was Oscar de la Renta
Jan
Same, though there are also now photos of the pantsuit she wore for the civil ceremony today. I’m sure the Saturday ceremony gown was gorgeous given how beautiful and classic the other pieces have been.
Anon in NYC
LOVED the pantsuit! I wish I could look that glamorous ever, let alone in a suit.
locomotive
Me too! She looked incredible – sophisticated, modern, everything. ahh.
SV in House
Ah, I thought the short white with the flowers was the wedding dress — never mind!
Baconpancakes
Haven’t seen it, but loved this: http://www.thebusinesswomanmedia.com/amal-alamuddin-marries-actor/
kellyandthen
I LOVE THIS!
Ellen caps necessary.
Susie
I loved the black and white dress, disliked the white “pants suit” (which looked like a white tee to me) and hated the red dress and the short white dress.
CPE
+1 Short white dress with red flowers was absolutely ugly and looked cheap
Anonymous
I think she looked lovely. And I think anyone saying an intelligent successful brilliant lawyer looked cheap should be examining themselves in a mirror. She’s not an actress playing a part, she’s a real woman living her life. Not cool.
CPE
I am the one who said the short white dress was ugly and looked cheap. OP asked what the people here thought about the dress and I stated my opinion. Intelligent, successful and brilliant lawyer can make bad fashion choices and this white dress is a prime example of that. I have no idea why it offended you so much.
Anonymous
Because saying someone looks cheap is an insult based on prostituition. Literally, it looks like she would be cheap to buy. Perhaps you meant to say her dress looks like it was cheap, but calling a woman cheap is a way of devaluing her and defining her as a sexual commodity. And I find it particularly offensive applied to someone as brilliant as her.
ETA: I tread your comment, and you are right. I got overly worked up. My apologies!
Anonymous (different)
I feel like a relevant point here is that CPE said the DRESS looked cheap, not that the woman herself did. I don’t think it’s cool to call another women cheap-looking either, but that’s not what CPE did. I wouldn’t be so offended by this.
Argentina
I am traveling out to Buenos Aires, Patagonia (Calafate/Chalten) and Bariloche for a month next month. Any must see things? Great restaurants? Amazing shopping?
Bonnie
I always get leather boots when I’m in B.A. Los Robles is my favorite polo/leather goods store.
anon
In Bariloche I had a fantastic dinner at Butterfly. Beautiful setting right on the lake & amazing food and wine.
LH
Any recommendations for a nude/beige patent flat that looks professional and either comes in wide sizes or is stretchy enough to accommodate a wide toebox?
housecounsel
There is a really pretty one at Nordstrom right now, the Tory Burch Caroline Elastic Trim Ballerina Flat in beige patent. One has black trim and the other does not. Good luck!
AIMS
PSA: There are a few good things in the Cole Haan clearance (extra 40% off with code EXTRA40).
This really cute purse (in navy, pink, and pale purple) is about $60 right now with discount:
http://www.colehaan.com/berkeley-convertible-cross-body-blazer-blue/B44889.html?dwvar_B44889_color=Blazer%20Blue&dwvar_B44889_width=B#cgid=sale_womens_clearance_handbags&start=18
Anonymous
I hate codeshare flight. I am the person that checks in online a day in advance, but I can’t check in for a codeshare until I show up at the airport. I’m going to be stuck in the worst seat, I just know it.
Anonymous
I’ve never had a problem managing my reservation to select seats well in advance, and then checking in online the day before, for codeshare flights. You have to do this on the operator’s website, not the airline you bought the ticket from. Depending on the airline, your record locator from the selling airline should work to access your reservation on the operator’s system, or you might have a different locator. If it’s different, it’s sometimes in your confirmation e-mail–if not, just call CS and ask for it.
Anonymous
Thanks- I called customer service and I’m all checked in now!!
Anonymous
Thanks- I called customer service and I’m all checked in now!!
Anonymous
My comment is in moderation because I used the incredibly offensive s!te word (seriously, Kat!).
Are you trying to check in on the s!te of the airline you purchased from? You need to check in on the operator’s website. Call if you don’t know your record locator, but oftentimes it’s the same as the record locator with the selling airline. You should’ve been able to do this as soon as you were ticketed and selected seats at that time.
Anonymous
My comment is in moderation because I used the incredibly offensive s!te word (seriously, Kat!).
Are you trying to check in on the s!te of the airline you purchased from? You need to check in on the operator’s website. Call if you don’t know your record locator, but oftentimes it’s the same as the record locator with the selling airline. You should’ve been able to do this as soon as you were ticketed and selected seats at that time.
Anonymous
How should work pants fit, and how do you know if they’re too big? For casual wear, my pants tend to be form-fitting, so I don’t have a great basis for comparison for office wear. I’ve lost a little weight recently, so the pants I used to wear to work seem kind of big… but how big is too big?
Diana Barry
Are they hanging off your rear end, or saggy in the front? If you were to wear a belt with them, would the belt “pull” across the loops in order to fit snugly to your shape?
I usually go by the rear end first. Or if they are hanging way too low, then I know it’s time to get them taken in. I don’t like my work pants tight though, so I can usually fit several fingers between the pant and my body. That way I can wear them tucked or untucked.