Corporette.com

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 170 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Lolli Plain Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Reiss Lolli JacketLove the vintage vibe for this blue jacket from Reiss. The puffed shoulders, the collarless, clean look, the darting (particularly the back of the jacket), even the color and fabric — everything looks like something Rosalind Russell or one of those other fast-talking dames might wear. Lovely. It's $350 at Reiss in sizes XS-L (with, unfortunately, a skirt more fit for cheerleading than work). Lolli Plain Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-3)  

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Anon

    That is a seriously beautiful jacket. Reiss has some great stuff lately.

    Are black suede wedges appropriate for the office with a sheath dress and a blazer?

    • Cat

      They’d be fine in my office, which is squarely in the middle of business casual, but I treat my suede pumps, particularly darker colors, as seasonal and wear them only October-March or so. They feel a little heavy for spring to me. But if you’re in a different camp, ignore me :)

    • Anon

      Agreed. I just discovered Reiss and I’m liking it a lot. Highly recommend their black pencil skirt.

    • Bonnie

      I wear suede shoes all year long; I like the look of suede better than plain leather. I love this jacket.

    • IDK

      I don’t know — it is admirably structured. I’ve never figured out collarless jackets other than Chanel-type ones (which often make my boxy self even more boxy) though. And what is “delicate dry clean” — does this mean that the cleaners in my building will fry it by accident?

      Would you wear a plain shell under this?

      I want to get something Reiss to work for me (maybe it is a spillover Middleton effect) but I don’t think it’s this.

      • Merabella

        This looks like something Sigorney Weaver would wear in Working Girl to me (this is a big compliment coming from me). I think you could wear it with a plain silk shell and some gorgeous statement necklace and it would look great.

    • AIMS

      Agree. This is beautiful. I really like this shade of blue. It feels bright and vibrant but is totally toned down and neutral.

      • hoola hoopa

        I am thrilled to see cornflower again. Hopefully it’s the sign of a trend.

    • KC

      Really pretty! Had the same reaction as Kat to the skirt… a little too short/poufy for my office :)

      • Leigh

        I would do a pencil skirt, silk shell, and leopard pumps.

        I would also wear a collared silk blouse under it, with the collar coming over the jacket, blouse tucked in with a knee length knife pleated skirt with the jacket buttoned.

        I think a tie neck blouse would also work with a pencil skirt, though that might be a little too vintage looking.

        The color is more difficult to work with for me, but I really like the style of the jacket.

      • hellskitchen

        I think it needs pieces that have some edge – textured fabric or something with leather trimming – to avoid looking matronly. I’d pair it with slim pants in a deep charcoal in a tweedy fabric, a plain white top and perhaps a pop of color with a belt in citron green or purple.

    • Susie

      Guess I’m in the minority here – I don’t like the jacket (not a fan of the puffed shoulders, and the one button looks off to me here), but I might wear the skirt with a different blouse.

  3. Diana Barry

    I can’t get past the styling – no shirt and that terrible skirt!

    Question – what do you use in your hair to have it air-dry but not look crunchy? My hair is short now but I find that it sticks out unless I put product in it. Mousse makes it look crunchy/wettish if air-dried. Do I need a grooming cream or something else? Help!

    • IDK

      I have shoulder-length straight, limp, oily hair with some frizzies near the crown. After baby #2, I had a ton of short crown-area hairs that just were a hot mess. I put anti-frizz creme (like frizz-ease — I used something for color treated hair, which mine isn’t — it was just what they had at the salon in a moment of feeling like I needed pampering) around the crown hairs as soon as I got out of the shower and found that it helped tame things as my hair air-dried. I could brush it out later and it was soft (not overly crispy or greasy). I am using it again now that the humidity is kicking up.

    • cbackson

      The whole thing looks dowdy to me. It reminds me of my first-ever suit (purchased in high school for college scholarship interviews).

      • hellskitchen

        It looks much better on the website than in this photo but I agree with you that it looks a bit dowdy. Perhaps the same jacket in a non-pastel color would make it look sharper

      • Anon in NYC

        I’m with you – I don’t like the color, the structure of the jacket, etc.

      • Hmmmm

        Something about the softness of the shoulders, the shortness of the torso of the jacket and the slight boxyness makes it matronly to me.

        It’s sad that some of the cheap jackets I see at Kohls look sharper than this one.

    • Anonymous

      For my super short hair, I love Garnier’s hair putty. Just scrunch it in, finger style, and let it dry. It doesn’t get crunchy, doesn’t stay sticky, but still holds all day.

    • JJ

      When I want my shoulder-length hair (wavy when air drying, straight when blow-dried) to air dry wavy, I now swear by the original MoroccanOil. I’ve tried a ton of different products and that’s the only one that doesn’t make my hair look greasy but still calms all the frizzies.

    • Small Town Atty

      I use the Redken Ringlet 07 Curl Perfector. It controls frizz pretty well and I can use a lot before I get crunchy.

    • Earth

      Just scrunch the hair after your hair has dried with your hand .The crunchy and wet look will go away .

  4. Anne Shirley

    Add another few inches to the hem, and this is what I will wear to Rotary Club meetings when I’m trying to drum up support for Gilbert’s run for Mayor of Avonlea.

    • LilyB

      LOVE.
      Except don’t you think YOU’D make the better mayor, Anne? ;) Gilbert is a bit too laid back.

    • Merabella

      My other favorite. I often want to wear my hair in a Gibson Roll only because Anne Shirley looked so great in one.

    • hoola hoopa

      Ha! I got the same vibe but couldn’t put it into words. Perfect description!

    • Cecelle

      Gorgeous color. Too bad you have to be totally flat chested to wear it. The back does look like the zipper split, and if you can get over that, then you have to be comfortable with your bra showing or go without.

    • hoola hoopa

      Nothing like a matronly dress that doesn’t allow you to wear a bra.

  6. Anonymous

    Argh. I’m in the awkward situation where a bunch of my friends from college are coming down for the wedding of a peripheral friend in my city which I was not invited to. I’m not upset at all – I really was not close to her/am not close to her, I just see her out occasionally and we’re “friendly” so I didn’t expect to be invited. No grudges, totally understand. All of those friends were/are much closer to her than I ever was.

    But all my friends are sort of awkwardly tiptoeing around the “hey I’ll be in town! But I’ll be busy with Jane’s wedding stuff… but maybe we could have brunch?” and I feel like I’ll be intruding if I see all of them in a group at some point during the weekend, and make things awkward for the bride, especially, if she is there for some of these events. On the other hand, these are people who don’t live in my city, so I don’t get to see that often, and who are good friends and I’d like to see. Awk… ward.

      • Anonymous

        Unfortunately most of them are leaving in the AM the day after the wedding, so if I do see them, it’ll have to be at some point pre-wedding. Not sure how to tell my friends, “I don’t want to intrude or make things uncomfortable for Jane to see me-the-uninvited-guest sipping coffee in the hotel lobby with 5 of her guests.” I think my friends are trying not to make me feel bad – and I honestly DON’T feel bad, but none of them really believe me (again probably because they are a lot closer to “Jane” and *would* be hurt to be left uninvited).

        • Divaliscious11

          Are they IN the wedding? what about meeting for a drink someplace near, but not at, the wedding hotel the evening before? if they are not tied up with rehearsal and dinner, that would be a great time…

    • Eleanor

      Too bad your friends are making it more awkward than it needs to be. I would just be generally cheerful and enthusiastic about seeing them, and say right up front that you’re excited to see them if they have time in between wedding festivities. That way you’ve mentioned the wedding in a non-awkward way. If the bride comes to brunch or something, congratulate her enthusiastically and non-awkwardly, wish her luck, and then interact with your friends like normal. Hopefully if you behave as though there’s nothing to be awkward about, your friends will see that’s the case.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks! This (and everything else) is good advice. I am not sure why it has to be awkward except that I guess there’s inevitable awkwardness (on both sides) when one person out of a group of several is not invited to something. I think my friends are trying to not make me uncomfortable, I am trying to not make them feel obligated to see me and trying to make sure I don’t intrude on the bride’s wedding stuff, and I think combined it just leads to awkwardness. But I like the idea of just being like “I’m so excited you’ll be in town! If you have any time in between wedding festivities, I would love to get coffee and catch up” and seeing if we can do it a bit away from the wedding-area so that it doesn’t look like I’m trying to crash a party I wasn’t invited to.

        I think really, a lot of my awkwardness about this is stemming from the fact that my friends (I think) feel really bad that I wasn’t invited and are trying to not hurt my feelings. I *don’t* feel bad about it, but I don’t know how to express that without sounding like sour grapes. I get it – I wouldn’t invite “Jane” to my wedding either, even though I like her and think she’s a perfectly nice girl. But my friends have been more “Oh, it’s okay hon, I’m suuuuure she didn’t want you to be left out!” and I don’t know how to be like “well, good, I don’t feel left out,” you know? So they’re going overboard trying to make me feel included. I just gotta power through it, I guess,

        And of course, if the bride is at an event where we’re getting together/catching up I’ll give her my honest and happy congratulations on this exciting event and leave it at that, I guess. My worry on that sense is more that she will then feel obligated to feel bad or apologize for not inviting me, which she really shouldn’t. I just don’t want to do anything to take away from “her” weekend.

        Ah, that’s such a jumble of thoughts. Sorry! I am sure once we’re all together in person the awkwardness will be smoothed out.

        • Anon in NYC

          I know where you’re coming from. I have a friend who constantly invites me to things that I haven’t actually been invited to, and it’s always awkward. My response is usually along the lines of: “Casual friend didn’t invite me to this super small party at her apartment, so I’m not going to attend.”

          I’m attending a friend’s wedding in a few weeks. We were once very close, but are now just less close. My BFF is in this friend’s wedding, and apparently the friend who is getting married wanted to get a house with some of her girlfriends for the days leading up to the wedding. My BFF wanted to know if me and my husband wanted to stay at this house, and my response has been “If friend wanted me to stay with her in the days leading up to her wedding, she would have asked me. If she did ask me, I’d stay, but since she didn’t, I’m not going to.”

          I think you just have to be up front with your friends – and the advice you’re getting is good. Tell your friends that you’d love to see them, but you’re not going to intrude on Jane’s wedding events, so if you all can coordinate a time to get together outside of wedding events that would be ideal. And if you can’t work something out, well, you’re sorry you won’t get a chance to see them, but hopefully you can figure something out soon.

        • hoola hoopa

          This gave me a good giggle this morning because I have been exactly in your shoes. I found the direct route worked great. In my case, I was offering lodging and said essentially “I know that you are coming to visit other people and that you’ll be really busy with them, which is all completely fine. I’d still like it if you stayed with me. You can come and go as you need. I won’t have hurt feelings.” They were relieved and dropped it. I was also happy to visit with them when they were around.

          You may want to consider meeting them individually or in broken up groups to avoid the awkwardness of feeling like you’re inviting everyone *except* the bride. It could also fit better with the wedding activities. GL!

    • lazy

      Men would never worry about this stuff. (Not judgmentental, just observing. I’ve found myself in your exact shoes, worrying about the exact same stuff – on both sides of the coin, actually).

      Everyone understands (or should understand) that guest lists at weddings have to get cut somewhere. Everyone also understands that people like to see their friends when they are in town. Therefore, go to brunch with your friends. (obviously, don’t crash a wedding-related event, however!).

      No offense should be taken. No awkwardness should result.

      Advice – Don’t avoid the topic or pretend the wedding isn’t happening, since that will make it more uncomfortable and look like you’re offended. Ask about the details. Express your excitement for the bride if she’s there – give a genuine hug and congratulations. Get it out in the open, and then treat it like a normal brunch.

      • Em

        People say the “men wouldn’t worry about that” thing a lot on this site, but to be honest, most of the men I know are about equally neurotic when it comes to social things as most of the women. Maybe I just know weird men.

        • mascot

          I agree. I hear my husband and male friends worry about many of the same things I do.

        • Monday

          There are also many things women are entirely right to worry about disproportionately (though I don’t think this is such a case). I agree that “a man wouldn’t be having this issue” sometimes provides helpful perspective, and sometimes doesn’t really lead anywhere.

        • January

          Haha, agreed – I think men do worry about these things, they’re just less public about it.

        • mamabear

          Agreed. Men worry about most of the same things we do, except maybe whether their butt looks big, but most men I know tend not to talk (and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk) about it.

        • hoola hoopa

          Agreed. My husband definitely worries about this sort of thing and close male friends do, too.

          More importantly, saying “men never worry about this stuff” is just as bad of a stereotype as saying “women always worry about this stuff.”

    • NOLA

      I don’t understand why this needs to be awkward. Why can’t you just say to your friends that it doesn’t need to be awkward and that you want to see them when they’re in town? And offer to work around the activities because you want to see them. Don’t make it awkward when it doesn’t have to be.

      • CKB

        This. Just say, ‘hey, I know you’ll be busy with Jane’s wedding, but if you have time I’d love to meet up for lunch, drinks, whatever and catch up.” If you show that it isn’t awkward for you, that will make them feel more at ease talking about the wedding, I would think.

      • TBK

        Yeah, I don’t get the awkwardness. I’ve been in this situation a few times. We all get that wedding lists are weird things. If it is awkward though, for whatever reason, just call it out. Calling something that is awkward “awkward” de-awkwards it (while, unfortunately, calling something unawkward “awkward” totally makes it awkward).

    • mintberrycrunch

      When I got married, it was a small wedding and we had to cut the guest list pretty far down. There were definitely friends from college in my city that were not invited, and I know that some of my out of town guests spent time with them at various points throughout the weekend – and I was SO happy about that. I would have felt way more awkward if anyone had felt like they couldn’t spend time with other people who were important to them because of my wedding.

      This is a long way to say that I agree with everyone that you shouldn’t worry about it being uncomfortable and you should enjoy seeing your friends!

    • Nancy P

      Are you sure the bride is even really thinking about this? Because when I got married, I could barely keep track of who was coming, much less who I hadn’t invited but might be friends with who was coming. I’m pretty sure the bride will be preoccupied with plenty of other things that weekend!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      My husband was in this situation. His friend’s invitation included a plus one so (male) friend took my husband rather than his girlfriend as his plus one, with the groom’s okay. Probably not the solution you were looking for but worked for them, lol.

    • Tech Girl in MN

      I would be pretty blunt in this case. Directly acknowledge that they are all in town for Jane’s wedding and will be busy – then no one has to tap dance around it. “Since you’ll be in town for Jane’s wedding, can we squeeze in a get-together?”

      As you’ve been quite clear, there’s nothing awful about your lack of invitation. Remove the awkwardness by acknowledging it.

  7. To Lasergirl

    I posted another response to your question yesterday. Sorry for the delay.
    –SunnyD

  8. gov anon

    Big thank you to whichever of you ladies who recommended Boden’s Walbrook dress. I’m wearing it today and it is fantastic!

  9. AMB

    If its a grey day for anyone else today and you need some cheerfulness can I recommend checking out all the outfits people wore for the inauguration of the new King of the Netherlands? Tiaras galore, pretty dresses and little princesses in adorable dresses.

    I also wore a bright blue dress and matching shoes today to combat the bleh weather, and my new boss said he appreciated my commitment to colour coordination.

  10. Charlotte

    Soooo…. hostess gift TJ: My 6 yo son and I are going to visit some relatives for a long weekend, and I was thinking of bringing them (really it’s my cousin, her husband and their 6yo) a host/hostess gift. We are staying at their house for 4 nights, so it’s a substantial trip. Do any of you have any ideas as to a good gift? Or, have any of you received a gift under these circumstances that you really enjoyed? We are flying, so it would preferably be something not too heavy or big, although we are checking a bag. Orrrrr, I have Amazon Prime and could ship it to their home, if that widens the scope. I welcome any and all suggestions.

    • JJ

      Do you know if she or her family cooks? The last time I sent a hostess gift, I bought a bunch of spices from Penzys (there may be similar options on Amazon Prime) and had them shipped to that person’s house. She loved them, as it was something she would never buy for herself. I’ve also done monogrammed throw blankets from LL Bean/Lands End that went over really well.

    • mascot

      How about the trappings for a family game/movie night or a yard game set like bocce, croquet, etc? You probably have a good idea of what a 6 year old might like.

      • Bewitched

        Love this idea. I’ve also done a movie night gift pack-a couple of newer movies, some popcorn, movie candy and maybe a nice bowl for the popcorn. Fun!

    • TBK

      We typically take our hosts out to dinner one night if we’re staying with people, in lieu of a hostess gift. If that’s not really feasible with six year olds, what about a gift certificate for a restaurant, a take-out place they like, or for a local amusement/water park (someplace the whole family might like). Otherwise, bottles of good alcohol are always an option if they drink, or other comestibles. If you do a gift for the adults, what about your son picking out a gift for his six year old cousin?

    • Anonymous

      Have your six year old pick something out for your cousin’s kid that’s local to you (even a tee shirt of a local team). Bring food that can be easily prepared or stuck in a pantry (e.g., nice muffin mixes).

    • ANP

      Alternatively, you could bring something for the kids to do/play with together when you get there. I don’t know a lot about six year old tastes, but I have a toddler so if there was another kid her age I’d bring bubbles, a puzzle or two, maybe some action figures? Then you can send a “thank you” adult gift after leaving, once you’ve seen their home/taste/hobbies etc. I only say this because it’s awesome when someone brings something for my kiddo and I bet they’d feel the same way — plus it could help break the ice between the youngsters.

    • OP

      These are all good suggestions — thank you! I will definitely give it all more thought. Another part of this is that we are already going up there to celebrate the [soon-to-be] 6 yo’s birthday, so I was hoping to get something less for him than for the whole family or maybe just my cousin. Paying for a meal might work, too. Thanks again!

    • Bonnie

      Friends who were staying with us once sent us a giftbasket of yummy things from their state that arrived before their visit. We also always bring gifts for kids. Maybe something that your boys can play with together?

  12. Nonny

    So….those of you with children or soon to have children, how did you tell your husband/SO that you were pregnant?

    • Anon

      We don’t have children yet. When we start trying, if I think I’m pregnant (late plus symptoms), my plan is to tell him that I’m going to take a test, pee on stick, flip it upside down, and then we can look at it together. Because I really don’t want to have the OMG moment of crazy, this-just-got-real, BABY!, without him being right beside me.

      • Anon

        Haha okay too late for my suggestion then :) can you call him up now for an impromptu lunch and tell him over his favorite quick meal?

        • NYC

          Congrats! I always wanted to get him some tiny adorable baby thing (a silver rattle? mini shoes?) and give it to him wrapped up and watch him open it and realize what was going on. But the way it happened was “OMG I MISSED MY PERIOD GOING TO PEEE ON A STICK.” Then much rejoicing together.

    • Monday

      OMG! I’m worthless for advice, but does this mean what I think it does? I can’t help but remember some of your past posts leading up to this…it’s crazy how well we can sort-of know each other’s lives here.

      • Nonny

        Yup, it does.

        Although FWIW, this was not meant to be a sneaky way of announcing…I genuinely am interested in ideas.

          • Diana Barry

            Congrats! I just showed my husband the stick – I woke up, p**d on the stick, then shook him awake and said, “LOOK!” :)

          • Nonny

            I seriously thought about that this morning (while staring at the stick in disbelief, hands shaking) but decided I would wait for this evening instead….

        • CKB

          Congratulations! I was very boring with each of my pg & just told him – hey, I took a pg test & it was positive. I hope you find a cute idea!

        • TO Lawyer

          Congrats Nonny!!

          I have no helpful advice but I was thinking exactly along the same lines as Monday when I read your initial post about how it’s crazy that we know details of each other’s lives.

          I like momentsofabsurdity’s suggestion because I think it’s hilarious and I’m slightly horrified by Cosmo’s suggestion.

          But yay congrats!

          • January

            Joining the congrats! I also remember your previous posts on this subject. :)

        • JJ

          Congrats!!!

          We’re kindred spirits, Diana Barry. I did the exact same thing for both of my pregnancies (although the second, a little earlier than planned, also had me showing the stick and saying “I hope you’re ready!”)

        • Marise

          I have a friend whose husband was upset that she waited to tell him. So I say, don’t wait too long to tell him, maybe over dinner (maybe make him something special that has significance to starting a family?)

      • Monday

        CONGRATS! I’m so excited for you!

        I guess there’s no way to be subtle here! ;)

    • momentsofabsurdity

      Congrats! (if you are asking for you!):

      My friend got a really pretty wooden rattle and wrapped it really prettily in a box and gave it to her husband at dinner. She said his first reaction (when he came home and she had the box wrapped on the dinner table) was “Sh*t, I forgot our anniversary.”

    • Anon

      My friend and I still laugh about this Cosmo article we read back in college that suggested dressing up like a sexy baby and serving him baby food for dinner.

      So yeah, do that.

      • momentsofabsurdity

        Or alternatively, I still remember the Full House episode where Becky tells Uncle Jesse she’s pregnant.

        “Honey, do you notice anything special about this meal?”

        “Hmm… baby carrots, baby corn, baby back ribs… finger foods! Thanks hon!”

        • Sydney Bristow

          This is the first thing that jumped to my mind!

          Congratulations Nonny!!!

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Whatever you do, don’t post a picture of a ‘Prego’ pasta sauce jar on Facebook.

      • Lira

        Bahaha, I had a distant facebook friend who did this recently. Followed by a barrage of ultrasound photos as profile and cover photos. I swear there is some switch that flips when you get pregnant and you forget how annoying that stuff can be.

    • EB0220

      I like the fun ideas! I got the positive test while my husband was at work, and he was scheduled to go out with friends right after work. I didn’t want to tell him on the phone or crash the post-work outing, so I waited until we were in bed that night and just handed him the positive test (I had taken a few more by then). I took a solid minute for him to figure out what it meant. I would love to come up with a more creative way if/when I am pregnant with #2.

      • Sadie

        Not sure if this will be seen, but when I got pregnant with #2 I bought a pair of baby slippers and lined up all of our slippers: DH, mine, #1, and #2. I knew my husband would come home while I was at work, and we were on the phone when he walked into the house and he goes, “Why are there slippers all lined up?…..wait….Does this mean what I think it means?” It was pretty cute.

    • Ellen

      When I am pregenant, I will be VERY careful to ensure my HUSBAND Know’s about it before hand b/c I do NOT want any slip ups or false Positive’s. I must first get a boyfreind, then get him to marry me. FOOEY on men that JUST want to have the sex. I am stuck in BALTIMORE today and the manageing partner is NOT leaveing me alone so I have to go. FOOEY!

    • goirishkj

      Congrats! I’m another boring story. We were out of town for Memorial Day so I had tested before we went (negative, but it was a few days early). Once I was a day late, I couldn’t stop talking about it but I didn’t want to take the test at my in-laws house. So I waited one more day to be at home, talking about it pretty much the entire ride home. And then came out in to the living room unable to speak and motioning him to come with me. So I guess I didn’t really tell him anything because I couldn’t speak for a few minutes!

      Glad someone else remembered that Full House episode. So funny the things we all remember!

    • Susie

      No kids, but if I found out I was pregnant I would say to my husband: “Crap! The c*nd*m broke!!”

    • pregomama

      We had just bought a car (literally, the night before) and DH was online shopping for various accessories (eg. upgraded floormats, a trailer hitch, etc). I came out of the bathroom and told him he’d better add a carseat to that list! :)

      This wasn’t a surprise, we had been birth control-free for two months, and the new car was an SUV…but it happened faster than we thought!

    • hoola hoopa

      Congrats! My husband was right next to me for the testing, so there was no crazy creative reveal. But wrapping up a copy of The Expectant Father would be cute (and useful – good book for fathers- and moms-to-be)

    • anon for this

      Years before, I had bought a wall print with a poem about going to daddy’s college totally intending to give it as a baby gift to someone else and that didn’t happen. The morning I got a positive test, I slipped the print on his sink and waited for him to discover it. It took him a minute to figure it out and then he came to find me, asking if it meant what he thought it meant. It is one of my favorite memories of us.

  13. Leigh

    I need some shopping help. I am looking for a soft knit 3/4 sleeve t-shirt. Here’s what I can’t figure out how to search for: I want it to be fitted in the bust/sleeves, but not so fitted from the bust down. I don’t want a peplum or anything like that, just a gradual loosening. I can’t for the life of me figure out how to look for something like that.

  14. Anonymous

    Wardrobe help desperately needed. Surprise interview and shocker most of my suits don’t fit.

    Not in law, but in DC.

    I have two options – a navy slightly non-traditional pantsuit (pants are super tight to me in the waistband, but not noticeably tight and my jacket hides it really well. Cons – I feel slightly uncomfortable. Pros – it reads very formal (fluid crepe material) and a flattering cut.

    Other option is a light gray skirt suit. Fits, but the jacket is a little boxy. Of course DC weather is supposed to be weird so it’s going to be 70 tomorrow, so I need to get nude for me hose and new black pumps. Cons, it doesn’t feel as formal to me and I don’t love the fit of the jacket. Pros, it fits.

    Which do I wear? I’m pretty sure I can’t go to a store and buy off the rack at this point – chubby and short are not exactly a friendly off the rack combo.

    • Moving to the City

      Definitely the suit that fits. As long as your clothes are not distracting and do not appear unprofessional, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable in them.

    • Tech Girl in MN

      Also voting for the suit that fits. I once wore a suit that was too tight in the waist to an interview and spent the entire terrified of some kind of awful wardrobe malfunction.

    • AIMS

      If it’s just a matter of the waistband being a bit too tight, what about getting a belly band to wear with the pant suit or spanks to wear under it?

      I agree that generally a suit that fits is better than one that doesn’t but if you don’t feel stellar in it, maybe the above solution would help?

    • Gus

      I disagree, I’d go with the navy. It sounds like you feel slightly frumpy in the gray, because of the boxy jacket, even though it fits, and you like the look of the navy better, even though it’s not as comfortable. You’ll feel more confident in your interview if you feel like you’ve got on a really great outfit. Interviews are all about confidence, not comfort.

    • Bonnie

      Another vote for the suit that fits. My stomach always gets upset before interviews and I’ hate to have to sit there with a waistband digging in.

    • A

      I’m short and chubby but have had great luck finding suits last minute at AT and BR when they have everything out–especially if it’s mid-week. Try the Petites to get the right fit.

    • rosie

      I would go for what fits. Would it be convenient for you to shop at all, though, to try to find something in which you feel confident (combo of fit and look, IMO)? I think the Macy’s at Metro Center has a decent suit selection. They have some suit separates as part of their everyday value stuff, which I had very good luck with when I needed a suit quickly and cheaper than BR/AT non-sale.

  15. A to Z

    Follow up to posts last night: Any advice for how to become a more interesting conversationalist? My 14-year-old daughter has confessed that she feels like she is “dull” and thinks that nobody would want to talk to her, because she can never think of things to talk about with her friends – or people that she wants to become friends with. She feels like everyone else is great at making conversations or telling interesting stories, and she has nothing to offer. She tries to join in by asking questions or laughing along, but it’s not really helping. Any suggestions?

    • Anon

      Maybe she feels boring because she’s bored? Maybe you all can brainstorm a new hobby for her that she can feel excited about or get her involved in something she finds interesting. I kind of felt the same way at her age.

    • goldribbons

      Try to get the other person talking. Most people love to talk about themselves. After listening to a few people, she might be able to say “oh yeah, so-and-so did that too” or “i’ve heard a number of people talk about doing that, how did you get started?”

      • goldribbons

        Sorry — I realized I didn’t see that she’s already asking questions. Well… maybe she needs a hobby? Or she needs to take time to think about what she is doing already? It’s easy to forget that some of the things we do regularly are “cool” to other people.

    • Greener Apple

      Track helped me. I never really managed a conversation all that well at that age, in part because I was scattered and had trouble following along and figuring out how to contribute. Exercise in and of itself helps me a lot with focusing, but at the time it also gave me a default set of friends and a hobby (and, I suppose, a default topic of conversation with those new friends).

    • LilyB

      I know you said she tries to ask questions, but I really think that can be key. Sometimes the most interesting/fun persons are the most interestED persons! People love talking about themselves.

      The hobby idea is a good one. Does she read any popular teen novel series, those can be good conversation starters.

      • AIMS

        I agree. I think the best advice re: being interesting is just to be interested.
        Also, more specifically, every time I needed to make friends as a young girl, I would just say, “so who do you like right now?” or “who do you think is cute?” I made friends for life that way! There is nothing high school girls like more than talking about their crushes. Seriously. You can literally never exchange two words with a cute boy and yet have years upon years worth of conversation about them.

        • Mpls

          Eh…maybe? Having been a teenage girl who would have been mortified to talk about a crush (or might even have trouble identifying one), this is definitely a case of knowing your audience. I’d have been fine listening to other people talk, but it wouldn’t have been the way to strike up a conversation with teenage me.

    • Anonymous

      There’s lots of conversation books out there, but the most important thing is to ask questions: leading questions and follow-up questions.

      She may also be realizing that she doesn’t have much in common with her friends. I grew up with the same people all through school and realizing that the only thing holding a friendship together is shared memories and routine can be tough to understand at that age. Taking a class or doing an activity with her friends (or to find new friends) can be a great way to fix that. My dad always said that men do activities together (like play sports, build things, hike) so they don’t have to talk and when they’re done they can talk about what they just did. Your daughter may need a similar tactic.

    • Ashley

      Aww, I really feel for your daughter, A to Z! I have a 16 year old sister so I can kind of relate to what it’s like being around young teens. It sounds like your daughter just needs a confidence booster. She may have a funny or interesting story to tell but maybe she is too shy or insecure to tell it. Does she have any really close girl friends? I don’t know if the advice about asking a lot of questions is good because kids at 14 years old aren’t going to care if you’re asking questions about them and trying to get to know them. I would echo what others have said and try to get her in a hobby or a sport or something so she can find people who are involved in the same activities as she is.

  16. Long Hair

    Hi!

    My hair is pretty long, about 3-4 inches past my bra strap, and I’ve heard it might be too long to be professional. It’s dark brown and naturally very straight, but I don’t blow dry or straighten it. It’s also fairly thin so most serums/hairsprays, etc . are too heavy for it.

    What does everyone else think? Is this unprofessional?

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I have layered hair that (at it’s longest?) is about 2in past my bra strap. I don’t think it’s unprofessional as long as your hair is kept neat and clean. Long hair can easily start to look frizzy/unwieldy but if you are avoiding that, and it just looks long, healthy and shiny then I wouldn’t worry too much about it being unprofessional.

      On the other hand, I’m almost positive my shedding on ev. er. y. thing (even though I do brush my hair regularly and try and get rid of it before I shed) is probably unprofessional. But I’m pretty sure that would happen if I had short hair too. I need a furminator for myself.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Mine is similar although a little longer. Clean and healthy looking is they key, I think. I wear it down a lot at work, but if I have an interview or something if need to be a bit more formal for then I put it in a low ponytail or low bun.

      • TO Lawyer

        I recently cut my hair but it was past my bra strap. The key to it looking professional was that it was always done i.e. didn’t look frizzy or unwieldy (except for rainy days).

        I also shed a lot and over everything – I’d go into senior partners’ offices and find hair I had left which was embarrassing. My hair is much shorter now and I don’t shed as much (I still do shed though)

    • hoola hoopa

      It’s fine so long as it looks nice.

      If the ends are broken or if it’s stringy (ie, too long for the fullness), then get it cut. If so, cutting it to bra strap length or a little higher could still be ‘long’ but more polished.

      LOLing at momentsofabsurdity’s point on shedding. The amount of hair clinging to my chair is definitely not professional. If you see clients, get in the habit of lint rolling *everything* in the morning or evening.

    • anon in-house

      My problem is I have long hair, but unless I get a blowout it just is curly/wavy with frizzy and has flyaways all the time. If I cut it too short, the curl only gets worse and I fear the bozo look.

      What do you suggest to keep it natural as is but tame the frizz/texture beast w/o slaving away with a blowdryer (it’s too hard to straighten myself and to quote a youtube meme: “ain’t nobody got time for that!”)?

    • Leigh

      I’ve mentioned this before, but my hair is below my hips. It’s never unprofessional unless I wear it down and wet to work. I wear my hair in an updo 99.9% of the time. Takes me 5 minutes in the morning if it’s dry, about 10 if it’s wet. Style your hair in a nice manner, and I’m sure it’s fine.

  17. First Gov Interview

    I have an interview with a city government office tomorrow . . . how formal would that be? No dress code given.

    Should I wear A or B?

    A) Black skirt suit, pantyhose, dark pink shirt, black pumps
    B) Black pant suit, dark pink shirt black pumps or nice flats

    I would prefer the flats because of commuting/subway – Is that really frowned upon?

    Thanks!

    • Anon

      I only wear flats, and I don’t think I’ve ever lost out on a professional opportunity because of it.

    • Cat

      C) Bring a nice looking tote and switch your shoes a short distance from the office building. If you choose pantsuit (which I think is fine), the length to which the pants are hemmed will determine which shoes work — assuming you’re deciding between flats and 2″ + heels, the same pants won’t look their best with both heights, and having hems that flap around your ankles (or drag on the floor) presents more of a “professional” issue than choosing the heel height itself, IMO.

    • City Gov

      I would wear whatever you prefer, both outfits sound suitably (ha) formal.

  18. Cat

    Question… might re-post depending on how fast the afternoon threads go up. I need to fill out a “words of wisdom” card for a bridal shower. Even though I’ve been married 5 years, I always blank on this stuff. Mostly because I’m not a very “romantic” type person, I guess. It feels too boring to say something like “talk regularly about how you’re doing vs. the budget” or similar practical-but-necessary check-ins, or “marry someone who likes to prioritize their time in similar ways, including amounts together vs. separate.” The quote I probably connect the most with is the one about love not being gazing into the other’s eyes, but looking together in the same direction.

    1. is it a cop-out to refer to the quote?

    2. anyone want to ghostwrite this who’s better at mushy advice?

    • OCAssociate

      I hate mushy advice, too. I always just say “don’t take other people’s advice – do what works for your marriage.”

      I don’t think the quote you cited is a cop-out, it’s a great outlook.

    • SFBayA

      I hope you ask this later today too. I’ve been dodging doing one of these for the was-bride now-wife to open on her xth anniversary. I’m about 8 months belated so far, but I’ve been married only a year longer than her so I feel like I don’t have any advice to give, particularly on an anniversary a dozen years in the future when I may not or even probably won’t know her anymore.

    • Veronique

      This post on A Practical Wedding is full of great marriage/relationship/just plain life advice: http://apracticalwedding.com/2013/02/open-thread-the-marriage-advice-i-wish-id-heard/
      Some of my favs include:
      -There’s no winning in marriage.
      -You don’t have to be 100% sure that you’re going to be happy with your partner for the rest of your life, you just have to be sure that you want to try.
      -Therapy isn’t just for when things are bad
      -The point of marriage/couples counseling is that sometimes we don’t have the skills to keep our promises to each other, and marriage/couples counseling is where we go to learn the skills to keep our vows.
      -Go to bed angry. Most fights can’t be resolved immediately, and you’re only going to feel worse when you’re tired. Go to bed, try and get some sleep, come back to it the next day with a clear head. Nothing wrong with taking a step back – and everything looks better in the morning anyway
      -Don’t keep score
      -Talk about things that bother you while they’re little. It doesn’t have to be right away, but don’t wait til there are twenty things that pile up.
      -Always respect each other in public (in private too, obviously) – even in little things like not quibbling over a fact or something unless it’s *actually* important, and not making snide little comments that sound like teasing. Apologize when you don’t.
      -Be nice and say “thank you” – even for things you think he should be doing anyway.
      -When you fight, fight with kindness in your heart. Try not to say things JUST because you know they will hurt.
      -Your marriage is only yours and your partner’s, which means you can decide what marriage means to you. And those rules are always up for discussion, if need be.
      My sister (family therapist) has also said “You can be right, I can be right, or we can both be happy,” which I (try!) to apply to my relationship.

    • hoola hoopa

      Not being of the romantic persuasion either, I unapologetically offer practical advice in these situations. I usually go with “A good marriage is not 50/50. It is 100/100.”

      The quote is nice, too. I see no reason why you can’t use a quote.

    • TBK

      Here’s a cut and paste of the advice I gave my friend when she got married:

      1) You will envy other people’s marriage. You’ll go through a patch where you’d think “if only my husband were more X,” then you’ll go out for dinner with a couple and the husband will be very X and you’ll envy your friend because her husband has that One Thing you think yours is missing. But their marriage has its own problems. There’s something about your husband your friend envies. We’re all human and no couple is perfect.

      2) When I was little, I had a pair of dwarf hamsters. I had one of those plastic balls to put them in so they could run around the house. They were so small that if I put just one in, she couldn’t really get the ball going. So I’d put them both in. When they ran in the same direction, they’d tear around the house like crazy. But sometimes they tried to go in opposite directions and they wound up in a heap in the middle of the ball going nowhere and annoying each other. Sometimes they’d head off in different directions, but then one would change to go the same way as the other one was going and they’d be off and running. My husband and I often say we’re two people living one life. Mostly that’s fine, but sometimes it’s like being two hamsters in a plastic ball trying to go in opposite directions. But when we head in the same direction, or when one gives in to help the other get where he or she wants to go, we’re off and running. [Just realized this is my totally bizarre version of that same quote. Guess it must be true.]

      3) Do not underestimate the importance of sex.

      • momentsofabsurdity

        I really adore your hamster analogy. Made me giggle but also – so true.

    • Samantha

      My fave is what my (wise, wonderful) grandfather told me when I got married (and I paraphrase very, very badly): If you want to shake hands with someone, you can’t just reach out to 50% of the distance between you, because then only your fingertips will touch. To shake hands successfully, you BOTH have to reach out MORE than 50%.

  19. Veronique

    Random rant/Etiquette PSA: It’s kind of a d!ck move to take up two plugs at a crowded coffee shop for your laptop and your smartphone. That’s what USB ports are for! The electricity is out in my neighborhood, so I’m forced to work from cafe instead of my usual work from home.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions