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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 179 Comments · by

Coffee Break: ‘Marles’ Multicolor Woven Coat

Coffee Break

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Colorful Coat: Roksanda 'Marles' Multicolor Woven CoatI was perusing Nordstrom's “emerging designer” section, which is definitely aimed at the sort of woman who prefers color, texture, and novelty over, you know, function, form, and, well, whatever else one could do with money rather than spending it on very expensive, odd clothes — but this multicolored coat appealed to me. I even like how the arms are oddly long (although, let's be honest, I'd probably have them hemmed, and I'd also probably belt the jacket). It's definitely a bit of a splurge (ahem): It's $3735 at Nordstrom, lucky sizes only. Roksanda ‘Marles' Multicolor Woven Coat Tough act to follow — but a few interesting multicolored coats are here, here, here, and here. In other news: you have to see this suit. (L-all)

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Mariah

    $3700+ for a jacket that looks like a Project Runway fail in every way? LOL There are some great charities who would LOVE that money.

    • Maddie Ross

      This. It looks like it’s leftover from a high school production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

    • CPA Lady

      +1.

      I just said “what in the actual hell” out loud in my office when this page loaded.

    • Bewitched

      I don’t like to criticize Kat (it’s her blog, after all) but she just jumped the shark on this one!

    • Anonymous

      From the description of the suit jacket she linked to:

      “The oversized jacket has become somewhat of a signature for Vetements in their three runway shows. Here, it features extra-wide shoulders and statement sleeves sewn with curved seams for an almost sculptural finish.”

      I can just picture Elaine writing that description for a jacket that looks like it’s still got the mannequin clothespins attached to the inside of the sleeves.

    • Anonymous

      I kind of love it, but I’d wear it to some kooky art opening with a tight black top, black skinny ankle pants, black slides, and some really bold glasses.

      • Dulcinea

        Picture it with: massive cat-eye sunglasses, massive gold hoop earrings, a 1940’s style lady’s turban, an Audrey-hepburn-style cigar***te holder, skinny ankle pants and stilettos…On someone stepping out of a 1938 rolls royce…I want that life.

    • Emmie

      I’d rather have Dolly Parton’s mom make me a beautiful coat of many colors. I’ll drink it with my cup of ambition.

  2. Anonymous

    OK, reposting since my comment in the morning post somehow went to a second page??

    I’m looking to revamp my skincare routine after reading reviews on Beautypedia and discovering all the products I use are apparently terrible for my skin. Does anyone have experience with Paula’s Choice products?

    • Marshmallow

      I’ve used PC and was underwhelmed. I have very dry, eczema-prone skin, and I found their moisturizers just didn’t cut it for me. I started feeling dry again halfway through the day. The first product I ever tried was their retinol serum in the raspberry colored tube– I like the idea of it, and still do, but the execution was kind of off. The serum has a lot of silicone in it and is supposed to “prime” your skin for makeup. That’s a cool multitasking product, except that you need to put SPF on top of retinol if you’re using it during the day. So then I’m layering moisturizer OVER my primer, and undoing all that priming. I also tried one of the BHA products and just felt that it did nothing for me, either good/bad.

      My derm recommended CeraVe, and I’ve been happy with it for around a year now, with a few other things thrown in. AM: CeraVe cleanser, Pixi toner, Ole Henricksen facial oil, CeraVe day cream with SPF. PM: CeraVe cleanser or Simple makeup wipes, Pixi toner, Kiehl’s midnight recovery oil, CeraVe retinol serum, CeraVe night cream.

      • Skincare OP

        It’s funny you mention silicone because as I’ve been reading reviews of all these products, she always loves and mentions silicone! I’m like, really? Yuck.

        I am going to check out CeraVe for sure, thank you!

        • AKB

          Second CeraVe. My friend is a derm and recommended it. I use the cleanser, AM face lotion (SPF), night cream, eye cream. I use prescription retin-A (co-pay is $2 for a tube). My skin care is surprisingly cheap because they are regularly sales and coupons for CeraVe.

          • DisenchantedinDC

            My copay is a whopping $10 for Retin-A. A tube lasts me FOREVER because you only need a touch. cheapest skin care out there.

        • Marshmallow

          I’m not totally anti-silicone, but there’s no reason to put a silicone-heavy primer UNDER your moisturizer. Just… weird. Good luck with trying the CeraVe!

    • EM

      I like (and use) several of her products. I think her retinol serum is the best value for money on the market.

    • SA-litagor

      Love PC products, especially the chemical exholiants, AHA and BHA line. Also love her serums and spf. Good value for the money, recommend buying the trial size to see if you like it and it agrees with your skin.

      • Anon

        PC’s 1% BHA lotion and toner – both from the recovery or redness relief line – are fabulous on my sensitive dry redness prone skin.

    • AN

      I only buy the “best” rated products at Beautypedia. Not necessarily Paula’s Chiice brand.
      Their ratings are spot on, for me.

  3. Anonymous

    In college, we used to use listserves all the time. Do those still exist? It’s for a non-profit I work with. I’d like to be able to email list@listserv.com instead of having to figure out which email has the most up to date list.

  4. Anonymous

    I have heard from this site and others that you have to use a teaspoon of sunscreen on your face to get the full effect. Is that true with mineral sunscreen too?

  5. Real Talk - Diva Cup (TMI alert...)

    Y’all. I am trying Diva Cup (well, actually, Blossom) for the first time today and I need some… assistance. I don’t feel like I am getting a good seal because I am leaking, but I also don’t know how to make any indentations in the cup go away. Any tips? Is there some way to tell it’s for sure in there correctly?

    • Diva

      Try turning it like 360 degrees once it’s in. That usually helps pop out any indentations.

    • Anonymous

      You need to hold the base of the cup and gently twist it when it’s inside you, that will help it open up and seal. Once it’s sealed, you can tell!

    • Diva

      Fold, insert, squeeze the bottom a bit, twist it, and bear down. Don’t give up! You’ll get it.

    • Emmer

      You also might be going too far in. If the twist doesn’t help, pull it out a bit. I don’t know how the Blossom is shaped but you can always trim the stem if it pokes out too much.

      • Emmer

        I also recommend practicing insertion/removal in the shower for a bit. It has a learning curve but with practice you will find a way to insert it in a comfortable spot really easily!

    • Anon

      I still had indentations after rotating but only sometimes leaked. According to my GYN, I have an oddly placed cervix and a v@g!n@ with a strange curve. She thought that might have been my problem with the Diva Cup.

      I ended up not using the Diva Cup after a year of trying (and staining). It isn’t for everyone so don’t feel bad if you can’t get it to work right.

    • Anon

      I tried diva cup but couldn’t get the fit right, and ended up really linking instead softcups. I get them at cvs. They’re disposable but I usually reuse one for the whole day and then a new one the next day.

    • Real Talk - Diva Cup (TMI alert...)

      Thanks, friends! I hope I’ll get there. Y’all are the reason I decided to try it out, so thanks for that too!

      • Anonymous

        Don’t be too embarrassed to get into a deep squat position the first few times. Once you get a sense of how it fits, it’ll get easier!

      • CKB

        I’ve been using the Diva Cup for about 7 years now. I always have a tiny bit of leaking and always wear a panty liner just in case. It’s still way better than tampons for me.

  6. Jen

    What’s for dinner tonight? I am off today after a dentist appointment and wanted to have “real” dinner but am totally uninspired. I have two under 5 so don’t want anything super fancy, but not-pizza would be nice as I have time to zip to the grocery store.

    Halp!

    • Anonymous

      Burrito bowls with lots of veggies and some combination of protein, rice or quinoa, beans, and whatever other toppings you want.

      Alternately, grilled chicken and veggies.

    • Maddie Ross

      Protein + veggie stir fry over rice? I love that all summer – it’s cooked, but fresh veggie heavy and not a hot oven kitchen. Plus I can almost always get my child to eat the protein and rice and at least some veggies.

    • Pea Pesto Pasta

      Best delicious easy fast recipe ever….

      Ingredients:
      -Buitoni cheese pasta (the square kind with the cheese in it)
      -crumbled feta
      -pesto in a container from the store
      -frozen peas
      -bacon (if you want)

      boil pasta
      cook bacon and chop into little pieces
      microwave frozen peas for 30 seconds
      drain pasta
      toss with feta, pesto, bacon & peas

      We have this at least once a week. My toddler loves it.

      • Annie

        I make this too, except I cook the peas with the pasta, and add green beans or asparagus. I use dried rotinis, so about 5 minutes into the 11 minute cooking, I add the vegetables. I also save some of the pasta cooking water to make the sauce more saucy.

        Another option: marinated flank steak (pre-marinated from the store, or just do some soy sauce, worcestershire sauce, brown sugar and canola oil), grilled 4 minutes on each side, with the 5 minute couscous and grilled veggie. This is what I’m having for dinner tonight!

    • Anonymous

      Zucchini noodles with pesto sauce, cherry tomatoes, roasted chickpeas, parmesan, and some pine nuts.

    • Senior Attorney

      Emergency Trader Joe’s pasta: noodles, marinara sauce in a jar, frozen meatballs, sprinkle of park. Done!

    • Anon8

      Some of my quick favorites:

      Homemade Crunchy Taco Hamburger Helper – Iowa Girl Eats
      Korean Beef/Turkey – Mels Kitchen Cafe
      Maple Dijon Chicken Thighs – Budget Bytes
      Lemon Thyme Chicken – Annie’s Eats

      Or you could put something on the grill. One grocery store I go to has different variations of hamburgers.

    • techgirl

      Pasta, mixed with a quick cream cheese sauce, chorizo and peas in a casserole dish, topped with cheddar and stuck under grill until crispy top.

    • GCA

      Ha. Wish I’d seen this yesterday (but I go into kid/ dinner tunnel from 5 to 8pm). Solo yesterday till 10pm so it was get home, put rice in cooker, dash to daycare near home, pick up baby, let him wander through daycare play area for 30 minutes while rice cooks and dries out, come home, make fried rice (rice, eggs, frozen peas, soy sauce and fish sauce) with baby clinging to leg.

    • Anonymous

      I’m giving Smitten Kitchen’s ‘eggs in purgatory, puttanesca-style’ a try tonight. Looks like it should be pretty fast, and we have the ingredients in our kitchen (…unless someone’s eaten the olives as a snack during the week).

  7. Anon

    Any L&e lawyers who can give some advice? I’m a litigation associate focusing on labor and employment at a full service biglaw firm. I love the work but not my current hours. I also wish I could take on more single plaintiff cases. Right now I’m looking into some of the major l&e firms (e.g. Seyfarth, Ogletree, Littler) that promise better hours albeit for decent (although definitely lower) pay. Has anyone made that kind of switch? Any insight into life at these kinds of firms? Is the lifestyle actually any better than typical v50 firms? Is it any easier to make partner?

    • Anon for this

      Regular commenter and I switched from a general practice firm to one of the firms you mentioned and am now in house. Spent 5 years at the specialty firm. If you want to L&E, the resources and depth of knowledge at firms like that are unparalleled. You can become an expert on something in L&E there. Our hours requirement was 1900 and the bonuses for exceeding your requirement were minuscule compared to other firms, so I generally billed 1950 each year simply because that’s how much work I had. I loved the people I worked with, but it’s also a law firm and I had two young kids and a husband with an equally demanding job that traveled several times each month. I ended up easily getting a position in-house based on where I came from and its reputation.

      Based on my observations, I think L&E is dying off at the large, general practice firms because their rates are too high and the depth of expertise is too shallow compared to a national firm focused solely on employment law. If you want to specialize in that area, it’s a wise switch to make.

    • Anon for this

      I just posted a long reply that was caught in moderation. Short answer is it’s a good idea to make the switch, probably.

    • Anon

      Hubs and I are both in this field, firm culture in those you’ve named is pretty good (location specific, obviously), better than V50.

  8. Late to the Party

    On this morning’s thread, there was a question as to what you call someone’s partner. I’ve tried a few- ‘partner’ ended up getting confusing when I became friends with a lot of lawyers/accountants, significant other has too many syllables and seems too difficult, husband/boyfriend/fiance (or their female equivalents) left me too much room to screw up, so I have settled on:

    Other Half. I use it for people who are in committed, monogamous relationships. I like that it works for a lot of situations but doesn’t sound clinical.

    So there’s my two cents.

    • boston anon

      sorry, but this just icks me out. There’s probably no title that will make everyone happy, but this implies that the person is not whole without the “other half.” fwiw I’m married but spent lots of single years where this would drive me freakin bananas.

      • boston anon

        * and while still being married this terminology still drives me bananas! even if we were to divorce tomorrow, i would be no less whole of a person.

      • Anonymous

        Well…the person is whole, but the couple is component that needs two halves to be complete. That’s what I always took “other half” to mean – the other half of the couple you comprise part of, not the other half of your being.

        • Anon

          That’s how I’ve always interpreted it. The other half of your “couple” … since a couple is two. It never occurred to me to look at it in a “half a person” mentality.

          That’s it. Ruined.

          • Late to the Party

            Dangit. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s now also ruined for me.

            Back to the drawing board on this one, apparently. Back to just referring to the partner by their first name and attempting to remember what everyone’s significant other/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/amour/companion/date’s name is.

    • Utilitarian

      I like the word spouse, myself. I am legally tied to my partner but not formally married and I think it conveys the gravity of the relationship to others.

      • Maddie Ross

        I think the issue with this is that it’s totally fine (at least to me) if you want to use that to describe your own partner to whom you are not legally/formally married, but you certainly cannot use it to describe someone else’s relationship unless they have done it first.

        • Utilitarian

          Yes, for my relationship. For others I often call them “significant other” seems to imply I recognize their relationship is important without assuming anything.

    • Senior Attorney

      How about “person?” I always tell Lovely Fiance he’s my Person. I feel like if I said to somebody “would you like to bring your Person?” the meaning would be pretty clear…

      Or again, just re-draft the sentence: “Do you have somebody you’d like to bring?”

      • Anon

        I feel like the only time I’ve heard reference to someone’s “person” was in reference to a dog and their owner (“their person”). I honestly would probably laugh if I heard someone refer to another person like that in real life.
        My dad and stepmom were together for 7 years before getting married, and my dad always referred to her as “my partner”. I think that is probably the most common (and therefore understandable to the general population) option.

      • TO Lawyer

        Being referred to as a Person makes me think of Greys Anatomy where Cristina and Meredith were each other’s Person.

        So that said, I think of it as a really significant relationship so I think it fits!

        • Daisy

          +1 This is what I will always think of…. but that’s why I think it’s sort of an odd response.

        • Anonymous

          +1 “Person” came into popularity because of Grey’s and that’s what I associate it with.

          • Senior Attorney

            Oh, well then.

            I never watched it but I must have picked it up by osmosis.

    • Anon29

      How about “sweetheart” or “love”? I use “little one” when I can’t remember their children’s names so maybe “sweetheart” or “love” would work.

    • Amanda

      I’ve become more accustomed to partner being used for significant other since I’ve moved to NY and have many more international couple friends that always use it.

  9. DentalEntertainmentRecs!

    I have a 4+ hour dental procedure in mid-June during which I can watch dvds or listen to podcasts (or, really, anything that can be downloaded to my phone). I’d love some recommendations from this community – it’s such a diverse group I’m sure you’ll suggest something fabulous I would never have heard of or thought of.

    • D. Meagle

      If you are interested in US history, The Washington Post’s “Presidential” podcast. Covers each president in order, starting with Washington. Each one is about 30-45 minutes. Plus, Lillian Cunningham’s voice is very soothing.

    • KT

      Not to be snarky, but that’s a realllllly long time. Can you just take the pill where you doze for few hours instead? I always do that for long appointments (admittedly, I’m a dentist wuss)

      • Anonymous

        I’m just cringing at the idea of holding my mouth open for that long.

        • Anonymama

          Now they have those things that are like, a frame with a latex sheet that they put around the teeth they are working on, and it keeps those teeth pristine while also helping you hold your mouth open so you can relax your jaw a bit. I’m not describing it well, but it is far far more comfortable than it sounds, and way more comfy than a mouthful of cotton and gauze.

    • Anonymous

      Here are a few of my favorite podcasts of late:
      Reply All
      Surprisingly Awesome
      Planet Money
      Hidden Brain
      Death Sex & Money
      Ask Me Another
      Two Dope Queens (really bad idea if you can’t laugh, though)

      I’d look for some episodes that look really great (I have suggestions for each of the above, if you’re interested), and save them for an otherwise crappy day.

      • Katie

        I’m a big fan of “The Black Guy Who Tips” podcasts. Certainly not for everyone, but my bf and I get a big kick out of them.

    • Meg Murry

      I wouldn’t count on watching anything, as it will probably be really difficult to hold your phone up in a way that you can see it and not get in the dentist’s way. Unless you are saying they have a DVD player and TV you can easily see from your seat?

      For something funny to listen to – Tina Fey’s audiobook, Bossypants. This same topic came up a few months ago with someone who was nervous about the procedure, and one popular idea was to listen to the audio of a favorite book from childhood/YA like Anne of Green Gables, etc.

    • DentalEntertainmentRecs!

      Thanks for the suggestions! I’ll download a couple of these switch between lighter and heavier fare depending on how the appointment progresses. @KT – I hear you on long appointments, I once took a tylenol PM in the morning by mistake and felt nauseated and woozy all day. Definitely don’t want to ralph in the dentists’ chair!

    • TravelBug

      Dan Karlan Hardcore History is also good, and the episodes are loooong so that’s perfect.

  10. Anon

    What should I bring for my work potluck? It’s a lunch event. Have access to fridge and microwave. Someone already signed up for dessert, so probably something else. Ideas please?

    • Bewitched

      Caprese salad: cherry tomatoes with half mozzarella balls on toothpicks, drizzled with balsamic vinegar and flavored olive oil. YUM.

    • CherryScary

      Couscous salad? Cook up a box of plain couscous, toss with a bit of olive oil/salt/pepper, then mix in sliced olives, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, feta, basil and green onion. Screams summer to me. :)

    • lsw

      People rarely bring healthy stuff and I like fresh foods so I usually bring cut up veggies and/or fruit.

    • Out of Place Engineer

      I love bringing a fun punch. It gives me an excuse to use my crystal punch bowl & no one else ever brings an interesting drink.

  11. Anon

    ATL midtown — thanks for the suggestions this morning. Ponce City Market sounds cool and I think I’ll be headed there for a while. Thanks for the tip re not venturing too far around the hotel. I’ve lived in NYC, Philly and DC so I get it — I’ll be out and about in broad daylight on a Friday afternoon; and if I end up having a free night, I’ll use uber.

  13. Etiquette Question

    In February I applied to a fellowship program, and two professors wrote letters of recommendation for me. Shortly after applying, I had to have a difficult surgery, and in the midst of that I failed to send the professors thank you notes. I did of course thank them over email when they agreed to write the letters.

    I’ve now learned that I did not get into the fellowship. Would it be a good gesture to send a thank you note now to update them and show my appreciation? Or would that be a weird way to share the news I didn’t get in? TIA!

    • Anon

      Yes to the thank you note. Even though you didn’t get it, they supported you.

      • Etiquette Question

        Thanks! I just needed to hear that they wouldn’t be weird to send.

  14. Reaching out

    I learnt today that someone I know has breast cancer, I was told about it by a mutual friend. This is someone I haven’t seen in years, we went to the same graduate school. I would like to reach out to her via email but I am not sure what to write. I just want to convey that I am thinking of her and praying for her. This sounds cliche but it is actually true. Any tips on how to do this in a courteous manner?

    • Anonymous

      “I was talking to Jane the other day and she told me about your diagnosis. Just wanted to let you know you were in my thoughts and I’m wishing you the best.”

    • Anonymous

      Say nothing. What if your mutual friend was not supposed to tell anyone? If I were the patient, I would want my privacy. If she wanted you to know, she would have told you.

      • Senior Attorney

        I tend to agree with this. I think the warm fuzzies would be outweighed by the ickiness of knowing people were talking about me.

    • Elizabeth

      Everyone is different. I was diagnosed with rectal cancer and got good wishes and support from people I never would have thought of…and also heard nothing from people I thought were Friends. But I took all the good thoughts in the spirit that was intended. Btw, I’m pretty private but I didn’t care who knew, in this instance. One thing about rectal or colon cancer is that you lose all sense of modesty or privacy, ask anyone who has had it!

  15. emeralds

    Anyone feel like vicarious shopping? I’d like a new dress for an outdoor, evening wedding out West this summer. Budget is ~$125 for an RTR, could buy something up to $200 if it’s perfect. Open to any color other than black or white; I’m not scared of color or big, bold prints, but it does have to go with a pair of coral and cognac sandals that I already own. The silhouettes that are out are drop-waist and 100% bodycon; any length is fine, but if it’s long it would need to be more casual; I’d prefer not to have to wear a bra; and I don’t mind showing some skin. I want something bold that will make a statement, and do not want the prototypical lace fit-and-flare for this particular event. Depending on the fit, I’m either a 2 or a 4. Thanks in advance!

  17. so very anon

    I just sort of need an internet hug.

    I’m a junior associate in an Vault-50 firm and was super excited to get this job, but I arrived and did NOTHING. Like, really nothing. I billed 800 hours last year (+600 hours of pro bono), and it was all I could get from asking all the partners in my group even across offices. Everyone kept telling me it was fine, just keep showing up and working hard when you can, and it will be fine. Well, now all the associates in my office and group have been asked to leave, and the company line is “work product problem,” which is absolute crap.

    So my husband and I have to stop TTC and probably have to move states because of my very niche practice area. He will have to leave his job that he really loves with huge opportunities.

    Plus, the summers are here and one of them wants to be in our practice group and somehow I’m supposed to smile and tell that person how great it is or risk being fired (for real fired, not the kind where they give you six months paid time to find a job…and I realize that’s a privilege and wonderful but right now it sucks because I don’t want to sit in my office and pretend to be busy while I look at job boards.).

    On a related note, is it harder to get interviewed as a junior associate when you go through a recruiter?

    Sorry for the whining. First world problems.

    • Anon

      I’m so sorry. I went thru something similar with biglaw though at a different career stage — 8th yr who doesn’t make partner bc my dept doesn’t have the clout to get a new partner made and suddenly after 2400-3000 hrs/yr for 8 yrs, I have a performance problem.

      What’s your niche practice area – if you don’t mind saying? How junior are you — there is a difference btwn a 1st and 3rd yr. Are you attached to your nice practice area, or would you want to transition to something else? Where do you live? Are there other firms in your area where you could apply – niche practice or something broader? I’d hate to make your husband leave a job he loves as a first option. And do you know if that practice area is generally suffering or if your firm just couldn’t bring in the business?

      • so very anon

        One of the associates in my group is in your exact same spot. I just couldn’t believe it when I learned–that person is an amazing associate, incredibly hardworking, and so, so smart. I’m so sorry that happened to you, too.

        I’d rather not say my practice so I can stay anon. I’m a 2nd year in a big legal market (think: DC, NY, SF). I’m not attached to my practice area any more; I’m attached to getting a job and working under someone nice who is interested in training/mentoring. My practice area locally is very limited, but nationally isn’t suffering at all–it’s the opposite, really, which is why we could be moving. But if I transition to the broader type of law (i.e., general corporate work instead of my area) it would be much easier for me to find a job in my geographic location. I’ve looked into it a little bit and applied a couple places, but my background is so strong in niche area that it’s hard to convince people I’m serious.

        That’s also the reason I’m wondering if working with a recruiter might be hurting me. I’ve only applied two places and they passed without even an informational interview, which surprised me. Good law school, decent grades, top firm, junior enough to be retrained…I dunno, maybe I’m missing something.

    • Ellen

      Wow, this is terible. Hug’s to you. I hope all work’s out with you and your family and job. I never heard of such a thing. I think the manageing partner would tell me if I were not doeing enough hours, but I am capped out and he knows it. If there is a sliver lining, it is that you have NOT yet gotten pregenant, and it is good that you postpone that–I assume you still have some mileage left b/f you run out of runway, like I am doing right now. But I realy feel bad for you and that the firm did NOT properly handel this. FOOEY on them.

      BTW, Kat, I do NOT like the coat. I could NOT justify paying that kind of money for that! DOUBEL FOOEY!

    • Anonymous

      I would be honest-ish with the summer associate and say that your group has been struggling for work so she should probably hit up other groups for work. If you’re billing 800 hours a year and your colleagues are getting laid off, you need every assignment you can get. You cannot afford to lose work to a summer.

      You should also follow the advice I’m telling you to give to the summer – branch out of your practice area. If you’re a junior associate, you can’t be all that entrenched in your super niche group, right? Which is probably the reason they laid off everyone except you?

      • so very anon

        I’m sorry I wasn’t clear–Every associate in my group was asked to leave, including me.

        I’ll be honest with her when I have another job offer, but right now I can’t afford to tick off the powers that be. We’ve all been given 4-6 months to look for another job.

      • Diana Barry

        Noooooo, don’t do this! Just smile and say positive things about the group. People will notice if you’re talking to the summer in any kind of a way that’s not positive.

        • Anon

          This. Say what you’re supposed to say for now and worry about yourself. Once you’ve landed at your next place, if you feel some affinity to the summers and want to warn them not to take an offer at that firm; or not to expect that they’ll last at the firm forever; or to not choose the niche practice area at that firm — you can always reach out to them later, when you are no longer affiliated at the firm and your salary isn’t on the line if the firm thinks you’re speaking badly about them.

        • Killer Kitten Heels

          I will say I got warned off a practice group as a summer in a very subtle way – at the end of my summer, I was talking over my practice group selection form with a mid-level I’d become friendly with, and when the not-good-for-first-years group came up, he was basically like “oh, don’t rank that group first, it’s really niche and it’s better for your training to start off in a more general practice.” I mean, I could’ve ignored him, I guess, but his opinion carried enough weight with me that I ended up leaving that group off my selection form.

          So basically, if you end up in a conversation with the summer where the summer is seeking your advice about it, you could maybe get away with a “I’m not sure it’s a great idea to specialize so early” or something, but I would not – not not NOT – go out on a limb in any way to warn the summer off.

    • Anonymous

      You’re a junior associate. What do you mean you have to move because you have a niche practice area? You haven’t even practiced. Do something else. Cast a wider net. People are not passing on you because you have too strong a niche. You’ve only applied to two firms!!!

      • so very anon

        You’re probably right that I need to cast a wider net. To be clear, though, I didn’t mean that my experience in law is too strong (ha!)–but my background isn’t limited to law.

    • recruiter is ok

      I had no problem getting a job and getting interviews through a legal recruiter as a junior associate.

  18. so very anon

    One of the associates in my group is in your exact same spot. I just couldn’t believe it when I learned–that person is an amazing associate, incredibly hardworking, and so, so smart. I’m so sorry that happened to you, too.

    I’d rather not say my practice so I can stay anon. I’m a 2nd year in a big legal market (think: DC, NY, SF). I’m not attached to my practice area any more; I’m attached to getting a job and working under someone nice who is interested in training/mentoring. My practice area locally is very limited, but nationally isn’t suffering at all–it’s the opposite, really, which is why we could be moving. But if I transition to the broader type of law (i.e., general corporate work instead of my area) it would be much easier for me to find a job in my geographic location. I’ve looked into it a little bit and applied a couple places, but my background is so strong in niche area that it’s hard to convince people I’m serious.

    That’s also the reason I’m wondering if working with a recruiter might be hurting me. I’ve only applied two places and they passed without even an informational interview, which surprised me. Good law school, decent grades, top firm, junior enough to be retrained…I dunno, maybe I’m missing something.

  19. Speaking of Food ...

    Does anyone do cooking in bulk for the week/month? How many different meals do you make? I like that I order less take-out when I do a week’s worth of cooking on a Sunday, but I get SO burnt out with only two or three options all week. Does anyone have a method that works for them?

    • Midwest Mama

      I don’t have a great method, but for me, cooking meat during the week always takes longest so that’s what I try to prep on the weekends. Something like chicken breasts, shrimp, and meatballs so I can mix and match during the week in with pasta, stir fries, salads, frozen veg, etc. Sometimes I’ll make some brown rice too and/or chop raw veggies for the week.

    • Anon

      I’ll make chili or pasta and put it in individual containers in the freezer. It’s like homemade frozen dinners and I can eat them whenever.

      • Anonymous

        I do this too. I make a lot of big dishes like mac & cheese, chicken pot pie, stir fries, pasta bakes, etc and freeze individual portions. I just take one out of the freezer in the morning and it’s thawed enough to heat up when I get home from work.

        • Anonymous

          When I freeze pasta I toss it with a bit of olive oil and mix with sauce before freezing and it holds up well.

    • LAnon

      I typically have a big “bulk” cooking weekend approx once/month where I make 4-5 different meals and portion them all out. Then I also do an extra meal for portioning each weekend in between. It works out so that I usually have 4-5 different meal options portioned out in the freezer. It still gets a little repetitive, especially when I get in a rut, but doing that big weekend makes it possible to have more variety scattered through the month.

      I also alternate between truly “made ahead” meals and also “quick to make” meals like having some soup or sandwich fixings on hand. I have learned that I will never want to cook an entire meal when I get home from work, but when I open the freezer and think “ehhh”, I like to have something easy on hand that does not involve zapping a frozen portion.

    • Lady B

      Check out 5 meals 1 hour. Super easy meals to put together and they give you a whole month of recipes. I used it for a few months to get started and now I recycle some of those recipes and have adapted my own to this method.

    • Anon

      I am Indian. So I cook mostly Indian food and I could enough for four nights. We usually eat out Friday nights. Here is what I prepare Sunday evenings (DH helps but it still takes around 3 hours to cook and one hour to clean).

      1. Enough chapathi dough for four nights.
      2. Two dry curries
      3. One curry with gravy
      4. Dal
      5. soup and some boiled beans with which I make salad for lunch.

      I make rice and chapathi every evening when I come home (takes about 10 mins as it is just me and my DH).

    • Anon

      I make one big meal Sunday night that lasts me for a few meals. I also do prep on Sundays so that I can throw together meals later in the week (washing greens, chopping/roasting veggies, making a pot of brown rice or bulgur). I usually cook meat on Sundays as well, then eat that earlier in the week and get my protein from canned beans and eggs later in the week. I also have some go-to meals that I can make from staples in my fridge in fewer than 20 minutes, like omelettes, shakshuka (eggs poached in spicy tomato sauce), sauteed greens with beans or a fried egg on top, etc (yes, I eat a lot of eggs!).

      I think that you can make it easier on yourself by planning ahead and having a well-stocked kitchen with lots of staples on hand. But if you cook for yourself, you generally have to get used to eating leftovers for a couple of meals in a row.

    • In the Pink

      We make protein in bulk for the week ahead. Seems to give a good variety when you mix it with whatever veg or grains you want. We buy the proteins on sale and in bulk…divide it up and freeze in the chest freezer. That way there is a variety of choices on hand for Sunday’s protein cooking. We also prep and keep snack bags of green onions, corn, peppers, cooked mushrooms in gallon bags in the freezer part of our fridge. Easy to grab and toss into whatever we are cooking.

  20. Friends

    How often do you see/talk to your friends? I’m married, no kids, with a semi-demanding job (50+ hours a week and 1 week of travel per month). I can occasionally go a month or so without seeing my closest friends who live within 20 minutes of me and it makes me wonder if I’m an awful friend sometimes.

    I have an ongoing group text with my two closest friends (one local, one out of state), where we chat via text at least every other day, but finding time to call out-of-state friends or meet up with local friends is hard between job/husband/working out/housekeeping/errands. Is this just how it is when you get older and your friends have careers, lives, and kids? Any tricks for staying in touch and feeling connected with your friends?

    • Anonymous

      Valuing your friends above working out and housework? You have to make it a priority!! I don’t think it means you are a bad friend but if you want to have closer friendships you have to make time.

      • Senior Attorney

        I don’t think it’s necessary or appropriate to prioritize time with friends above housework or exercise on a consistent basis. Housework and exercise are part of the business of life and I think it’s kind of irresponsible to consistently let the slide in favor of hanging out with your friends. I also don’t think super-frequent contact is necessary to have close friendships.

        My closest friend spends most of her time out of town and we are religious about having lunch when she is here, which is once or twice a month. Very occasional texts in between. I text or talk to my other friends a time or two a month, plus some Facebook interaction depending on whether they’re Facebookers.

        Lovely Fiance and I have a group of friends we see a few times a month in different combinations.

        And I feel like I have a pretty good social life and close friendships!

        So I guess my answer is “yes, this is how it is as you get older and busier.”

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, I think that’s just what happens when you get older. My large group of friends gets together maybe twice a month, sometimes more. They are all married/engaged and own houses and they’re busy doing their married homeowner thing. I get together way more often with my other single friend, sometimes twice or more a week. Then my married friends are like “Why didn’t invite me to the bar/movies/spa??” Um…

    • cbackson

      My two closest friends aren’t in my city – I text with one of them every day or so, and email/text with the other about every week. I have 1-3 in-city friend activities weekly, beyond that – I see my sports team friends for practice and matches, and then have usually one other night a week where I get dinner or drinks with someone.

      Not married, no kids, but a very demanding (60-80 hpw, frequent travel) job and an awesome puppy.

    • Anonymous

      2-3 times a week, usually? We’re all single (not married, some of us have boyfriends) with no kids in our 30’s and 40’s. I have standing weekly activities twice a week with different friends, plus more non-regular hangouts. It just depends what you want to do and what your personal style is — I have a friend who cancels things because they have to do their laundry, etc, whereas I wash it while I’m getting ready or doing something else and let it dry overnight so that I can go out or clean the kitchen while my coffee is brewing, etc. Cleaning/housework/home improvements are definitely not things I prioritize over people or activities, so if my laundry goes unfolded oh well, but I also have plenty of energy and can fit in what needs to be done. If I had a child, I’m sure that the frequency would drop sharply.

  21. Chris

    Love the coat but would not pay that much for it even if I had the money.

    Absolutely hated the suit. I wouldn’t pay$5 for it in a thrift store. In fact, I wouldn’t accept it if it were free.

    Maybe Kat secretly switched to sociology and is performing an experiment.

  22. Isabet

    I assumed that Kat said we had to look at the suit because it was so….interesting, in the “bless your heart what an interesting idea” way. Because wow, is that terrible. And polyester! Over $1000 for polyester! At least in the eighties the thing would have been cut right in the chest and would have been wool.

    I mean, I get the idea of experimenting with size and fit, and I kind of see what they’re trying to do with the way the sleeves are set, but it doesn’t work! It just doesn’t work! The sleeves cave in over the bicep, that’s not right.

    The coat? I don’t know. It looks too wacky for my taste. I know someone who can pull off a lot of that eighties/nineties zany design without looking either dated or overdressed, but she’s a career arts professional with a lifetime of artsy clothing behind her (and an enviable wardrobe assembled over the past thirty years). For me, I would just look frumpy.

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