Update: these shoes are included in the NHYS; select colors are marked down to $102.
I always take note of the shoes with a TON of strong reviews, and I was intrigued recently to see this Sam Edelman loafer with 715 (!!) good reviews and a TON of different colors and materials. Sam Edelman makes one of our longstanding Hall of Famer ballet flats (the Felicia) which readers have raved about for comfort and cushioning — and has been around for eons now — so if you’re a fan of the Felicia you may also want to consider this one. Curiously, Zappos has a very similar shoe called the Loraine; only Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack have the Lior (the pictured shoe).
Psst: I mentioned this on a recent sale thread, but I’ll note it again — if Everlane’s modern loafer was your Holy Grail loafer, you may want to get a new pair because the style is being retired by the brand. There are still a bunch of sizes left… for now…
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
2021 Update: These shoes are still around, coming out in a ton of new colors, and still getting RAVE reviews – so we’re adding them to our Workwear Hall of Fame!
Hunting for other comfortable flats? These are some of our other latest favorites…
Some of our favorite comfortable flats for work as of 2023: one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight (not pictured but also) (also: check out our favorite sneakers for work outfits!)
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Workwear sales of note for 3.24.23:
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything
- Athleta – 20% off shorts, swim, linen & more
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Boden – Up to 50% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance styles to 70% off. Some pretty serious markdowns!
- Express – 40% off dresses & tops
- J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty
- Talbots – 25% off select styles; 25% off markdowns
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- What are your favorite parts of a typical day?
- At what point in your life (age, income level, whatever) were you able to take an annual vacation?
- What shoes can I keep at the office to go for mid-day walks (that go with everything)?
- How do you release stress or trauma that’s stored in the body?
- What are the best “networking for women events” you’ve ever been to?
- I feel like we’re burning through any savings we acquire…
- I hate my job and make 30% of what DH makes – should I quit?
- What do you keep in your office?
Missed the window for the earlier post reading so am reposting here!
Is anyone here in the South FL area (the MIA or FLL type area) or go often for work? Just moved and would love to connect in person!
My Grandma Leyeh has an apartment in Fort Lauderdale, so I get down there a few weekends in the winter! If you send me your email / telephone, we can connect when I get down there! YAY!!! I can finally have a Florida friend who is less then 85 year’s old!
Sorry I didn’t respond earlier…I’m in MIA. If you would like to get together, e-mail me at [email protected].
I stood presenting all morning in basic flats- my feet are so sore! I’m getting old- I used to do this all day with no problem!
I’m in a hotel tonight (no freezer) – what’s your favorite way to stretch out your arches and plantar fascia?
If you can find a tennis ball or other spherical object and roll it around under each foot for a while. I like to sit and alternate feet while i veg out in the hotel room.
Roll out on a golf ball or similar. Works best for me if I’m standing supporting part of my weight on something else like a table.
The gym might have resistance bands and small balls you can use. The resistance band thing is to lie on your back, put the resistance ball around the ball of your foot, raise your leg and gently stretch and hold.
Super simple and very intense stretch. Kneel down and tuck your toes under your feet (so your toes are flexed towards the top of your foot), then sit back as much as you can stand. It stretches the bottoms of your feet.
Similarly, put your toes against the wall, heel on the floor as close to the wall as you can get, and flex at the ankle.
S in Chicago
Do any of the floors have ice or can you ask for them to send some ice up? If don’t have a baggie or grocery bag or anything like that, even a shower cap with ice in it can be a huge help. I know it sounds crazy, but if you’re desperate, put your butt against the headboard and put your legs up and over your head. Stretching out the legs can sometimes ease things a bit (at least changing blood flow may keep some swelling down). Also, even though you may be tempted, don’t walk around barefoot tonight. Most heel pain comes from an arch that isn’t supported. So try to grab another pair of shoes that has any sort of arch support if you can. Also, try doing circles with your ankles or spelling out the alphabet with your feet–even tough it’s not helping the heel directly, this has been incorporated in any PT I’ve had for plantar fasciitis so it must be easing something. Do you have any socks with you? The other thing that might help is sitting on the ground with your legs out in front of you and looping it around the top of your foot (the pad/toe area) and pulling it toward you. (P.S.,man, am I glad to no longer work trade shows…)
Thank you- this is incredibly helpful!
Warm Weather Thoughts
I am pretty miserable in M&A (I’m a 3rd year) but my husband and I want to move back home to Texas next year (this year just isn’t the right year for a few reasons). How do you handle sticking it out in M&A for another year? I know people say you can “do anything for a year!” but M&A is rough on me mentally. Is it bad to try to lateral for a year and then try moving next spring? Is that too much job hopping? A wrench is that I’m not sure I really want to do M&A for much longer, and goal is probably go-in house, but to be honest, I don’t know if I like marking up agreements all that much. I’m not sure if choosing a different industry focus or moving to a general corporate practice would be helpful. Anyone have thoughts? Sorry that was a jumble…
I used to be in an allied practice area that assisted on M&A deals (tax, ERISA/benefits). Everything was an emergency. People were outright nasty.
I got told to help out with non-M&A people and found that my interactions with people were just sooooo much better. I really enjoy what I do now. Can you try to assist people with slightly different focuses (like bankruptcy / workouts / financing) or work on commercial contracts?
Anonymous at 3:04, how did you make the change? Did it take switching firms? Going in house? I’m in the same area assisting with M&A and would appreciate any advice you have on how to move away from it!
I got told “go help out X” and X worked on the debt side of deals where I had worked just on the equity side before. It suited me: math and no screamers.
I had also thought about going to an accounting firm’s quasi legal practice to work on REITs.
+1, the M&A “attitude” is exhausting (NYC M&A is EXTRA exhausting in case that’s where you are) and frankly purchase agreements are pretty boring. If your M&A group is a subset of a bigger corporate practice, you could ask to try some other specialties. The suggestion about commercial contracts is a good one. Do you have a mentor that could help?
Warm Weather Thoughts
Yeah, I have a few midlevel associates I really trust, but not one very senior in this group. There is one partner mentor I have (in a totally different practice group) l who I generally can go to for help, but I’m not sure how to approach the topic of, I want to leave for Texas next year but am miserable in M&A. I don’t think she’s going to “blab” to the partners in my group, but it seems like a hard topic to broach. I’ve been thinking over how to present the issue to her when I next see her (we have a lunch scheduled in two weeks to catch up generally). I was thinking of phrasing it generally as, how do you know a group is the right fit for you, and framing it as I’m becoming a midlevel and so my work is changing, how do I assess this as the year goes on.
“I think that area Y is interesting and if there is someone in that area At our firm that you think would be a good mentor, is like to work on a project to learn more and see how I can apply my skills from my M&A work.”
Why not say you are interested in being more versatile and gaining experience in other areas? Make it sound like a win win. No one needs to know your Dallas plans unless you’d like to transfer offices at your firm.
Realistically, it is going to take you a few months to find another job worth taking. It makes no sense to start a job search now, move jobs in the spring, and then move in less than a year. However, depending on when you are thinking of moving, it may make sense for you to start job searching in Texas in the summer for a job to start in the fall or in early 2021. You may need to move a few months before your husband does, but this seems like a good way to split the difference.
If you can’t transition into another group at your firm, would it help to lean out just a bit while you wait out the year? If you know you’re leaving for a different market and a different type of work, maybe don’t need to be a superstar this year.
Warm Weather Thoughts
That’s a really good point, and I’m trying to do that for my sanity. That said, the group is incredibly busy right now (@ Cat above, yep, I’m in NYC) so I can only “lean out” so much I think? I don’t ever want to be a person that does real crap work or pulls the team down, but it feels hard to dial back so that your work is “good enough”. And at some point, I suppose my mental health is important too.
If your husband can support both of you, just leave and let him stay working. You can always get another job doing something else if you have to, but if you don’t, you can just relax at home. If you have an interest in bearing children, do it now, as you will not get another chance once you are older. Good luck to you!
Dresses to wear under blazers
In theory, I know you can put a blazer on over a dress. In reality, I have never found these dresses (except years ago, when dress+jacket same-fabric items were routinely offered; other than Boss, which I am too short-torsoed for).
I’d like to wear non-matching dresses with something like the basic BR suiting jacket. Links to dresses to try, please!
um, any dress without major shoulder pads or a lot of ruffle stuff should work.
One of my frequent favs is the MM Lafleur Maggie dress.
Also assistance needed. Should the dresses be sleeved even? My dresses seem to have 3/4 sleeves these days and they all slide up and bunch. And my office is cold, so I don’t have short sleeved or sleeveless dresses. Is that where I’m doing it wrong?
Also: some dresses have too much going on in the neck / bib area.
I have a jacket that’s one size up from my regular size for wearing with sleeved dresses. Works well for me!
I toss jackets over sleeveless dresses.
Something from Hobbs is a good starting point.
I think part of what makes this look off for me is when it’s clearly a suit jacket with a non-suit dress, so the problem may be that you don’t have the right blazer. I like wearing a well-tailored black blazer over a dress with some black in the pattern, or a textured blazer (good for colder months) over a black sheath, even just a basic Lands End thick ponte sheath.
+1 This look doesn’t work with just any blazer.
I transitioned from only wearing pants year round to wearing dresses most of the time (partly because my waist size was fluctuating and dresses hide more and are more comfortable). It took me some trial and error before I got comfortable pairing dresses and jackets.
I think collarless jackets look better with dresses. I definitely prefer slim lapels. I have a crepe black blazer that works with most dresses. The going out blazer works too. I think bracelet sleeves looks better with a dress than pants or even a skirt.
I like thick knits and ponte for dresses. I only wear black tights in the winter, so all dresses must be able to pair with black tights and a black blazer. One of my favorite dresses is a dark burgundy and black geometric knit. I prefer lined dresses, but wear slip shorts otherwise and it works well 90% of the time. Almost all of my dresses can be machine washed at least on the delicate cycle. I have bought the vast majority of dresses online from Talbots and have been happy with the fit and quality. YMMV but the cuts are professional on me (I have a larger bust and too fitted or low cut can quickly read se*y, which is not the message I want to send).
Is it a waste of money for a two person household to get a Costco membership? I have five cats, but get all their stuff through Chewy auto-ship. I’m just not sure how much stuff I would buy in bulk from there to be worth it.
Gail the Goldfish
Probably. We got one because we wanted to buy some lawn furniture last spring, and I don’t think we’ll renew it. It might be worth it if you are close enough to a location with a fuel station that you would regularly get your gas there. But we have a hard time going through most of the food options before they get stale/go bad with just the two of us. We’ll buy nonperishables and just stick them in a closet somewhere (hello, 48 rolls of toilet paper at once), but it’s not enough savings to bother renewing.
Yep, I was concerned about the perishable food. There was a Costco rep at my work today so that’s what made me curious. There is a location close to me for gas, so maybe we’ll try it for a year and not have to by TP for a long time. :-)
Be warned, I fell hard for Costco toilet paper (Kirkland brand) and would have trouble giving it up. Have also gotten compliments on it from houseguests.
You and I both. Love their toilet paper and their paper towel. But usually my cart is those two items + lettuce + crossing my fingers that the fruit I selected won’t expire before I get to eat it. Not the best investment, but they got me with a sales rep at my work. They were giving out free chocolate, and the rest is history.
I am considering rejoining Costco just for the toilet paper. It was so great!
We are Cosco member and Dad loves their toilet paper. I personally can not tell the difference with it vs Charmin, which I get at Fairways, b/c I will NOT be caught schlepping big containers of toilet paper from Harlem down to my apartement. Dad complained when he stayed over a few weeks ago, so I told him to bring his own toilet paper with him next time he wants to go in my apartement. When we buy the new place, it will be a 3BR 3BATH, so he can stock up and bring all he wants into his own toilet, rather then having me specially stock hisCosco toilet paper for him.
Are you me? The guest room dresser is currently four drawers of TP and one drawer of tissues.
It depends on whether you are close enough to go regularly (I’m aiming for every two months, that should definitely get me my money’s worth) and have space to store bigger amounts of stuff. We are a two-person household in the bay area where canned food is pricey, so I like Costco for a box of canned tomatoes or coconut milk. With perishables, I go in with a firm plan on how to use eg the large bag of peppers in three recipes that week. I also have become a bit more adventurous when it comes to freezing stuff. I’ve thrown the giant packs of salami and butter into the freezer. It’s hard if you eat out a lot of the meals. They also have pretty good savings online from time to time.
We split a membership with a family member when we were only a household of 2 and made it worth it. As in, my husband and his brother are members, I am not. In my big city, buying gas there is a big reason to be a member. But the membership wasn’t really worth it to us as a couple if we footed the whole bill.
That’s a good thought. I’ll see if my parents are interested in joining.
Don’t you have to have the same address? My Costco checked driver license when we applied. They also annoyingly don’t like it if my SO scans his membership card but my credit card is used for payment, even though we’re under the same account.
No, my husband and my mom share an account. Not the same address.
According to Costco, you do need the same address:
My local Costco definitely enforces this.
I disagree, tons of major sales on clothes, plus if you’re doing any kind of paleo or Whole Foods diet lots of great options. Look for a groupon, there’s always a sale on membership.
That said split it if you can!
I’m a one person plus dog household and it’s worth it for me. I have the Costco Visa and executive membership, which always ends up covering the fee. If I didn’t have that, I’d still probably cover the cost in gas savings. Costco is pretty close to my house so it isn’t out of the way to shop there.
I hate grocery shopping and like to have one stop to stock up. However, I am a boring eater and am happy to have the same thing for weeks at a time. In the summer I buy the spring mix as a base for salads, Greek yogurt, and mozzarella balls for caprese salad. I eat lots of fish and Costco wild salmon is delicious. I also mainly eat organic food and Costco has way better prices. They have great frozen foods too. I hate running out of basics like toilet paper and have the storage space for Costco size packages. I also like the electronics and feel more comfortable buying from Costco because they have a great return policy and extend the warranty.
I order clothes and beauty products online (wider selection than in store). I’m currently wearing a Pendleton wool coat to court that I got at Costco for a great price. I love my Frye boots I bought there last year. They’re still going strong and look like Acne booties. My leather tote bags are from Costco too, as is my Coach purse. And most of my bath and bedding is from Costco because they have good quality for great prices.
DH and I had one pre-kids because we had the space so we stocked up on dry goods each quarter – paper towels, toilet paper, laundry detergent, dishwasher tabs etc. The bulk sizes are great. We also stocked up on non-perishable food basics like canned tomatos, olive oil etc. Our location had good prices on organic products compared to grocery stores and often better quality products, including their meat selection. For meats we bought and froze the organic meats that we could not get locally.
Doing a big shop either bi-monthly or once a quarter really cut down on what we had to buy week to week at the grocery store. It made our weekly grocery shopping much faster. We got most of our produce at the farmer’s market in season but also stocked up (including via freezing) at Costco in the off season because their produce was good quality.
There are just two of us plus 2 dogs, and we definitely get our money’s worth. Dog food is cheap. Buy meat/ fish in bulk and freeze. Also a lot of great dried goods. All assuming of course, you have space to store 10 pounds of oranges or 20+ rolls of toilet paper.
Not to mention pretty good clothes selection, savings on travel (we solely rent cars through Costco), tires. Pretty much if you can think of it, Costco usually has it for cheaper than average.
The Costco credit card has pretty great benefits too.
Clearly I love Costco :)
I’m married with two teenagers and I don’t think Costco is worth it even for us. It’s such an ordeal to shop there, and I can consistently get similar prices by shopping grocery store sales (and buying 12 rolls rather than the 48 above.)
Same, except it’s toddlers instead of teenager but sometimes I feel like they eat like teenagers! At least, they take as much food on their plate as teenagers, even if it doesn’t all end up in their mouths ;) But agree that Costco prices don’t seem that amazing.
Two person household and it’s worth it for the discount on car rentals! If you don’t have a car I really can’t say enough good things about it. Generally 15-20% cheaper, you can cancel at any time or drop off early and get reimbursed, it’s available at most regular car rental spots (enterprise, budget, avis, etc.)
Also very good for dog food, cheese, and some meats.
Most importantly my husband *loves* wandering around looking at things so mentally I sort of assign it to our “entertainment” budget and just call it a day.
+1 for the car rental. Used it for Alamo rentals for 2 family vacations last year and it was a nice discount.
I think my membership pays for itself in EVOO and peanut butter, but we are likely above-average consumers of those things. We also live a ten minute walk from Costco, so it’s easy to go and just grab a couple things.
Not necessarily. It depends on what you buy normally and how much storage you have. DH and I have had a Costco membership since before our son was born. We buy gas at Costco when we go but don’t live near enough to go out of our way for it. It used to be on my way home from work, so we saved a lot on gas then. We do not buy much produce, but we regularly buy meat (which we vacuum seal and freeze), wine and liquor, toilet paper, paper towels, bagels (and freeze one package), cheese, snacks, breakfast bars, cereal (the giant boxes contain two sealed bags), oat milk, diet coke, batteries, prescription medicines, over the counter medicines, vitamins, and razors. We’ve bought other stuff occasionally–a few clothing basics (undershirts, etc), basics for our home (blankets, sheets, or towels), wrapping paper (my favorite), spices, vanilla, Fitbits–but probably not enough to make the membership worthwhile on its own. We’ve never purchased a really expensive item like furniture or a TV or travel from Costco.
Worry About Yourself
I stopped renewing my membership because I just never went anymore. However, when I did go, I got my money’s worth in savings, especially since they have coupons and stuff on sale so you’re saving even more. I’d get eggs, frozen meatballs, frozen quesadillas, pasta, pasta sauce, rice, snacks, batteries, home goods, cleaning supplies, toilet paper, umbrellas, energy drinks; once I got a flat and had to buy a new tire, so that was a Good Year to be a member. The liquor store also had some good deals. I’d definitely recommend doing a trial membership on Groupon. If you don’t use it, then you didn’t waste that much.
That said, it is a pain to go on Saturday afternoons, or right after work, because there are so many people. I’ll also mention that shopping at Costco means bringing home a LOT of stuff, so if your space is low on storage, that can be an issue.
I’m dying over your tire pun. Thank you!
Worry About Yourself
I’m so glad someone caught it!
I’ll never tire of it.
It totally depends on your consumption habits. I’m a single person and have a Costco membership and I think it’s worthwhile, but it’s one of few options where I live.
I think so – the quality of items for the price makes it worth it for us, a family of two adults and a baby (we also only live like 15ish minutes from one). For example, the kirkland brand of laundry detergent is among the highest rated by consumer reports and is much more cost effective than tide. We also like the prices on organic meat there – we bring it home, divide into meal sized portions, and freeze. I also like it because I don’t feel beholden to the sales cycle at a grocery store. I also only need to get these items like 3 times a year.
We cook 5-6 nights a week and all weekday lunches so it’s easy for us to go through one of the containers of salad greens in a week. We’re not buying kirkland diapers or any other baby products from costco, and I find the membership completely and totally worth the money.
Worth it for my two-person household. On our first shopping trip after I joined, I made a conscious choice to only buy things we normally bought at regular stores. I calculated the savings and we saved more than the cost of membership in that one trip. It was amazing.
There is a Costco right near my office, and I have a long commute. The savings just from gas pay for the membership a few times over.
We don’t buy much in the line of perishable food from there, unless it’s something that can be frozen or we know we will eat quickly (e.g., the quiche). It’s good for parties.
Now that we have a baby, the savings on formula, diapers, baby wear, etc., are substantial and make the membership worthwhile. We also bought some furniture items there for the baby’s room. The price is on par with BuyBuyBaby, but the quality is substantially higher.
We are a two person household and I totally get value from the membership. I think of it this way, it $60 a year so around $5 a month. If I don’t go one month then in my mind I wasted only $5. I love being able to buy toilet paper and paper towels and not having to worry if we run out for quite a while. They also have a nice wine selection and my store carries liquor which is often a steal. Every home item I have purchased there has been of outstanding quality as well. I bought the nicest plush bath rugs for $15 that would have easily cost triple for that quality elsewhere. Dried nuts and fruits are something else that stand out as an excellent value. If you wear contacts, you can order your contacts directly thru them for cheaper and their house brand contact solution is one of the best deals in the store.
At my store on the weekends it is insanely packed but their checkout process is the most efficient around.
I am a costco devotee and have been since I was a kid and it used to be Price Club. I didn’t have a membership during college and law school, but got one shortly after and have used it regularly ever since, first as a single person and now as a mom. I buy everything there – diapers, dog toys/chews, bedsheets, paper goods, fresh fruit and veggies, bagged salad mixes, baked goods, cheeses, books/toys, clothes, wine/hard liquor, salmon, nuts, vitamins, etc…the list goes on and on. My DH doesn’t understand why I love it so much but I am a customer for life (it was literally one of the first places I went with my son during my maternity leave and he also loves it now lol).
I need new reading – can anyone recommend something funny and light?
If you have not read all three Crazy Rich Asians books, highly recommend
I’m listen to Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance in the car and finding it to be laugh out loud hilarious. Especially relevant if you are single and trying to date.
I just read Ain’t Nobody Nobody and it was exactly what I needed – a well-written book that wasn’t totally depressing. (It is a murder mystery, but not gory at all.)
Red White and Royal Blue and PS I Love You. The latter is YA, the former I think is not officially YA but reads like YA, but I enjoyed them both and they are definitely light and fluffy and fun.
omg major brain fart – not PS I Love You. I meant, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han. Don’t know how that became PS I Love You!
The sequel is called PS I Still Love You so that might be where (followed by Always and Forever Lara Jean.)
Also seconding those books, they are delightful.
Haha yes that must be it, thanks for making me feel like less of an idiot.
It came out before the whole Harry & Megan thing started, but The Royal We is a great, well-written rom-com type of book that plays on the idea of what it might have been like if a William-type prince married an American.
Oooh, yes, this is a favorite. And there’s a sequel coming out this summer!
What?? Stop!!! YES!
Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld.
The Bookish Life of Nina Hill. Happy, easy read.
Ali Wong’s new memoir – hysterically funny. My DH kept asking why I was laughing so much while reading (i am not a particularly laugh-y person, fwiw).
Interesting question I saw on Twitter – does anyone enjoy shopping anymore? Irl or online?
I actually really enjoy my weekly grocery shopping runs.
Other than that, I am generally plagued by too much financial guilt (reasonable or imagined) to enjoy shopping.
+1 this is me. I like finding deals but doing a no buy 2019 made shopping more like a chore. I’ll mindlessly browse online sometimes
Glad I am not the only one who enjoys weekly grocery shopping.. :-)
I am doing a no buy 2020 so I have been successful so far (it was not difficult to begin with as I am pretty frugal already).
Grocery shopping feels like such a chore for me. Can you tell me what you enjoy about it? Maybe some new perspective would help me.
Well, I use Paprika for everything. I’ve bought into the app’s entire ecosystem, including the Pantry module for every item in the house, so the stress of “are we low on milk or not?!” is (mostly) gone. That required a lot of up-front work on my part, although I did pair it with an annual pantry clean-out, and requires updating once or twice throughout the week. I put the same amount of over-the-top-ness into my meal planning. I don’t have kids, so I have time to do all this, but it’s enabled me to head in there feeling good about my mission and like I have direction, and that helps tremendously. I also just really enjoy food, so thinking about food and using it creatively to meet a goal hits multiple buttons. I challenge myself to see how low I can keep the cost, which hits my creativity and math-geek buttons. And I do it alone, so it feels more like “me time.”
I hope that helps you, although I recognize that a lot of it is just my time in life combined with my nerdy brain. Best of luck :)
It’s more about just thinking of what I could cook with all the things I buy. Or seeing what new and interesting inventory there is. But I’m also the person who records and watches America’s Test Kitchen and Cook’s Country as my form of TV entertainment, so I recognize I’m rather special in this regard.
I don’t. I always wish I didn’t have to go to a store to return something. I’m so used to online now. And I hate standing in lines, self checkout sucks (and has lines anyway), and parking is always hard. I just find myself avoiding it like the plague, and that includes grocery shopping.
I hate it. That’s why my husband is the Costco member.
Funny question and timing, because i was just thinking of this the other day. Clothes shopping is such a chore. A necessary chore, but it falls into the category of chore (along with all the hair appointments and nail appointments, etc). I do most of my shopping online, and it is still a chore. There is a huge return process, because half of the stuff doesn’t fit, or doesn’t look the way it did online. And, generally, the quality of clothing has gone so far downhill that I am almost always disappointed by what i buy. So it is a chore without end. There is a lot of guilt about getting my money’s worth and making sure that I am getting the best stuff that I can, given my budget and needs. It is most definitely a task. I despise grocery shopping as well.
I enjoy clothes shopping for my kid because the clothes are relatively inexpensive, there are tons of cute options and I basically don’t have to worry about fit because kids clothes don’t need to be as tailored or flattering as adults’ clothes. I was never a really big clothes shopper for myself but now I NEVER buy clothing except when I have a need for a new item (like I bought linen pants to wear for a trip to Thailand) or I need to replace something I own that’s in bad shape.
Clothes shopping – nope, not in the slightest. I’m a size 12/14 // 5’8″ and I really struggle to find clothes in stock, on the racks that fit in the stores and/or styles that I like. It’s incredibly disheartening at best, and mentally damaging at worst. I subscribe to Trunk Club and have shopped at BR, Jcrew, Loft and AT long enough that I know their styles and cuts enough to order online and pick the right size probably;y 80% of the time. I return in store 95% of the time, oddly enough.
For other stuff, I won’t buy meaningful furniture without seeing it in person, at least the style and need to touch the material. I also (mostly) enjoy grocery shopping. Clothes are truly the only hard pass.
I’m a similar size to you and also hate shopping in person. There’s too much choice and I probably won’t like how any of it looks on me anyway. I am loving my Stitch Fix subscription for this reason, supplemented with occasional big M&S orders for basics.
I wouldn’t say enjoy, but I don’t mind doing my weekly grocery shopping. I haven’t tried any online grocery shopping services. What I hate the most is putting the groceries away when I get home.
I am not buying any makeup or skincare products unless I use something up. And I’m not buying any clothes either. I feel pretty good about my wardrobe and am overall trying to be more minimalist about everything.
I hate all shopping. I figure out what sizes I am and then I order everything online. I almost never have to return anything because I shop at basically five places (Costco, Talbot’s, Nordstrom, REI, and Amazon). I go to the grocery store in the evening when it is less busy and only go once a week.
I love shopping for clothes and stuff for my house. I hate grocery shopping. I don’t think I realized there were so many who are the reverse.
My husband does all the grocery shopping, which I truly hate.
I enjoy shopping for clothes but almost exclusively online, often gently used and super chearp via eBay.
I love grocery shopping and shopping at Costco.
I also love shopping (in store and online) at Anthropologie. I love shopping in person at paper goods stores with fancy stationary and wrapping paper and interesting birthday/greeting cards.
Other than that, nope, I do not like shopping in stores or online.
Sadly, I love shopping. Clothes shopping, for sure, although I don’t have a lot of time to do it IRL. And I like to cook so I like grocery shopping and my weekly Target run.
It depends where I am. I can’t stand shopping in the DC metro area. So crowded, horrendous parking (unless you’re all the way out by Dulles), so many stop lights and such bad traffic to get anywhere. But in a normal community where there’s adequate space? Yeah, I actually enjoy it. I drove down to Fredericksburg, VA a few weeks ago to shop. They have every chain store known to man in a series of gargantuan strip malls. Environmental/economic/aesthetic concerns aside, it was SO wonderful to leisurely visit all the stores – no squeezing past people in crowded aisles, no traffic jams, no sta1king someone in the parking lot for their spot, fully stocked shelves (because the shelves are big enough to hold more and because there are fewer people buying). It was so refreshing! Even though it was a 90 minute drive one-way, I absolutely plan to do it quarterly or so. I’ll come home from running one errand in D.C. frazzled from the hassle – I came home from my day in Fredericksburg tired but satisfied.
I so agree about shopping in DC. I hate going grocery shopping, because after you elbow your way through the aisles, you end up having to wait 20 to 30 minutes in the checkout line. I have every other Friday off and will go grocery shopping then. It’s a totally different experience.
I enjoy grocery shopping if I can get there early in the morning when wandering slowly doesn’t get in other people’s way. Otherwise, I am on high alert that I am slowing someone else down and it’s not enjoyable.
Like another poster, I enjoy stationery/paper stores, but otherwise, I hate shopping.
I love shopping – IRL and online (for different reasons). It got to the point where I realized that’s where all my discretionary income is going. I’m not going into debt or anything, but I’m also not saving as much money as I want to/could be. I’m trying a no-buy in 2020; we’ll see how long it lasts. I enjoy getting a “deal” which before I had a kid I could thrift hunt and get quality clothes for a good price. Now I’m kind of relegated to online sales, which offer a “deal” but I’m also realizing you get what you pay for. I actually enjoy grocery shopping because it’s one of the few times on the weekend that I get to be alone with my thoughts. I have a toddler though so YMMV.
Interesting. I like the time saving aspects of shopping online, and I am not as stressed out about clothing and shoes as I used to be because I don’t have to trawl mall stores looking for the rare business appropriate garments. I also like being able to set subscriptions for basics like toiletries and just have them show up.
Add me to the list of people who hate grocery shopping. My local grocery store just got redone and rearranged and now I sound like a Tourette’s patient walking through the place. Nothing is where it’s supposed to be and there’s always something I go home without because I can’t find it.
I used to love clothes shopping, but now it just depresses me. I used to go shopping a lot with my mom but when she got sick and getting out of the house was a problem, she quit going shopping. That wasn’t so bad because I could go shopping and try on what I found for her and get her opinion. When she passed away, I lost all of that. I can count on one hand the things I’ve bought since she’s passed away and most of them were out of necessity, not out of the enjoyment of shopping. If I have bought anything that was a “want” instead of a “need”, it got returned out of guilt and sadness. I know I have issues, but until I can see shopping as something fun to do again and not as something that makes me miss my mom terribly, I’ll just deal with the wardrobe I have.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom.
I am so sorry for your loss too. It sounds like you and your mom were so close. I hope one day you will see these memories as a gift, instead of them bringing you such pain.
I keep a log of all non-food, non-toiletry things I buy and they are almost entirely used books because that’s the only thing I enjoy shopping for.
I hate clothing shopping anymore. I am an Old, and I remember when ordinary mall brand clothing (J Crew and the like) was often if not usually made of natural fibers and the cloth had substance to it. The current crop of tissue thin creepy fiber fabric leaves me disappointed at best and genuinely pissed off and cranky at worst. Even most of BB’s women’s offerings are made of substandard fabric. Sweaters and wool suiting didn’t used to wrinkle. I purely hate clothing options I am seeing, even at a substantial step up from mall brands.
“disappointed at best and genuinely pissed off and cranky at worst” — haha, YES, exactly. The decline in clothing quality is good for my budget, because I am very rarely tempted to buy anything from anywhere ever. (It helps that I work from home in sweats!)
I enjoy shopping, but maybe for different reasons. Because most of my time is consumed with the work that I love (which is a fun, exciting, challenging bubble of people), and because I don’t have kids and most of my hobbies are solo-hobbies, I feel like shopping is where I interact with ‘the rest of the world’. So I enjoy seeing random people also doing their shopping, and having some brief-but-nice interaction with cashiers, and generally observing what’s up. Actually I enjoy all kind of experiences like this – like going through the airport, meeting service providers (electrician, dr’s front office, etc.), hotel teams when I’m on business travel. I somehow also get some pleasure out of buying food – like, choosing the nicest oranges, economizing, feeling good about being able to provide all the things I need for myself (maybe that’s a product of growing up kind of income-insecure though). I’m super particular about clothes, however, so it’s more 95% hunt and 5% enjoyment. And furniture, forget it, it’s really hard for me to commit to big purchases because I feel stuck with it forever.
I saw this headline and picture and thought, those can’t possibly go together, but apparently this is what a US Senator wore on her way in to work: https://www.vox.com/2020/1/30/21114971/kyrsten-sinema-impeachment-trial-patrick-philbin-trump-lawyers-aid-hold
black sheath dress, black tights
magenta faux fur coat
dark purple tote bag
Somehow it’s the yellow boots that bug me the most.
The coat is the only part of it that’s over the top to me, and I assume she took off the coat when she got to her office. Without the coat, I think it’s cute and perfectly appropriate.
Honest question – why does this bother you?
the boots are both ugly and impractical in a DC winter, and look stupid with the outfit.
It hasn’t snowed much. If she wants to wear yellow boots, it’s fine.
It’s dry in DC today, and not that cold. I don’t like the boots for me, but nothing makes what appear to be relatively low wedge boots that pull out a color in her dress inappropriate or impractical. I suspect they look cute with the dress once the commuting extraneous bits are gone.
Also, from a local fashion POV, I find DC has a decent amount of bright shoes. For most of us, it’s because DC fashion tends to more boring and it’s where you can play. Pops of color on the feet are very common here.
That’s Kyrsten Sinema, Arizona’s first female senator, a Democrat who won in a very conservative state, who is also the first openly bi member of the senate. She’s been on the receiving end of plenty of nasty commentary about her fashion and it’s hasn’t stopped her one bit, nor should it. She looks great.
And it’s what, 40 degrees in DC today? She’s not driving a team of sled dogs to get to work. Her boots are fine.
Seriously! I personally dress the opposite – all black and all boring, all the time. But I wouldn’t bat an eye at any woman dressed the way she is.
Once she’s in her office, the coat will be hung up and the bag will go under her desk. They’re not necessarily part of the outfit.
Worry About Yourself
Yeah I kinda get the knee-jerk reaction of “ugh, she’s not DRESSED like a Senator, she should have looked more PROFESSIONAL on such an important day!” but yeah, she’s probably not strutting into the room like that, she’s coming in from the cold, and she’s planning to hang up the coat and change into more appropriate shoes before she actual hearing.
I’d hate to think of people scrutinizing my coat and commuter boots (or sneakers, in the summer) when I’m on the subway or walking through the lobby of the building, and judging them as though they’re my work outfit. Hence the username . . .
I love it.
I do too!
Saaaaaaaame! And think she looks really put together! The coat and boots pick up on the flecks of color in the dress. (Also seems like the coat and duffel bag will be removed right away, which makes this outfit downright tame.) Honestly, what’s so scary about color?
Me too. Love it.
Same. Where can I buy that dress?
Why is this look a problem? She is following the advice I read right here a few weeks ago–tights need to match either the dress or the boots, and they match her dress. [Though my Trunk Club stylist told me tights should be the same color as the shoes which would be a lot of look in this case…] Either way, none of this impacts her ability to listen to the proceedings, and that applies to anyone however they are dressed, whichever side of the political aisle you associate with.
This is consistent with her signature style. Like AOC’s red lip, maybe? She’s also first openly bisexual person elected to congress and second openly LGBT woman elected to congress.
Seems to me like a dare on her part for the audience to get held up debating her style rather than her substance…?
Is she married to a guy? If so, what does he do for a living?
Ha, the most jarring thing to me about the outfit is the black tights. I think blue or red tights would have bridged the gap between the dress and the boots better, the black is too high contrast with the boots.
Hard to imagine caring about this, tbh.
Does anyone use a curved monitor for work instead of two separate monitors? I like the idea of less cords, etc. but want to make sure the functionality would be the same. All the reviews seem geared towards gaming as opposed to work, so I thought I’d check with you ladies before making the change
They are for gaming and not for work. Get a cord organizer.
I’m using one now! It has taken a bit of an adjustment rather than two monitors but not in a bad way, just re-training myself. The only thing I miss is the ease of drag-and-dropping a document from one monitor to the other and having it just automatically maximize itself. With a single large monitor you have to be more precise to get two things next to each other. BUT the setting in Word where you can see two entire pages at a time is amazing! I think the curved screen is also slightly easier on the eyes than the two screens, but maybe that’s just a side effect of the documents being larger than before.
I see them in a lot of offices around here.
I have the option of one very large screen or two normal monitors every day at work, and I always choose the single large screen (as do most of my coworkers). I was a 2 monitor person until I realized how great it was to have all that screen in one place. Have never used a curved one though, so can’t speak to that aspect
I have 3 monitors at work and one big one at home. I do a bit more alt-tabbing around at home, but it’s no big deal. On a related note, I taught my new GenZ coworker what all you can do with the tab key the other day and his mind was blown. I guess it’s all-mouse, all the time now?
I have 2 27″ monitors plus my Imac at work, and 2 27″ monitors and my MacBookAir at home. That way, when I access the firm’s compute on the INTERNET, I can just network in and not have to bring any flies home. It is a big game changer for me to operate with a total of 3 screens. I just put my precedent breifs on the big monitors, and then copy and paste into the system monitor, which I can do wirelessley at home! You should do it like I do! YAY!!
The original Scarlett
I do and I love it – much easier than a dual monitor actually- the size of both sides of the screen is more readable. Mine is now the envy of the office and started a trend. Go for it
I’m not in a position to buy a house now so this isn’t a house I am looking at and, for those of you who know Houston, I know there would be some neighborhood questions about this house, but how fast do you think this house would be SUPER dated? I actually like a lot of things in the house, but I think I need to train myself not to like it.
1. The graphic kitchen backsplash which I honestly like
2. Those (puny) floating shelves
3. The barn doors
4. Whatever is happening with the subway tile
5. The barn-door style vanities
All the things that would date the house can be easily changed (backsplash, lighting choices, countertops, kitchen flooring). I think subway tile at this point is a classic simply because of its neutrality. Style-wise I’d give most of the home 10 to 15 yrs before looking super dated (ignoring the 1930s details that are just historical at this point) since they mostly did it in whites and greys, sticking fairly neutral.
You’re spot on neighborhood-wise. You can get a much newer and much larger house in many other safer parts of the city, even inside the loop for the same or less money.
Yeah, I like the house on its own but the neighborhood/price doesn’t make sense to me.
Texan In Exile
I love the house but – I remember a Houston where I rented an apartment in West U for $250 a month. So that price is shocking to me.
To me the deal breaker is no garage and not tall iron gates. If you’re going to have a single car pull under, you need a six foot iron fence or your car will be broken into every other month. It’s really uncommon for homes built after the 1980s in the Houston area to not have an attached garage – most have for two cars.
It is a different (more transitional) neighborhood but I’ve never had a garage in Houston and I’ve never been broken into.
I agree that you really need a garage or a tall fence, preferably one with an electric gate.
The actual rolling barn door in the bathroom is already kinda dated, but nothing else in there screams particularly trendy to me. Patterned backsplashes have been around for a while, and I like the way it calls back to the tile pattern in the porch steps. Subway tile is classic, but not everyone loves dark grout.
Agreed. The backsplash might not be to everyone’s taste and might be dated soon, but is fairly easy to change.
I think it’s a really lovely house. The issues you are pointing out are fairly minor?
I’m in NYC, but my in-laws live in West U.
I think barn doors are already dated since Chip & Joanna installed one in half the houses in Waco a few years back. For the vanities, I think it’s an interesting way to use older material in a ‘mod’ feeling bath.
I think dinky open shelves will phase out. They are cute in theory, but don’t hold much, and even if you use the items regularly they still get dusty.
On the tile, that’s tougher because it’s such a personal taste item. To me they look kind of Pinterest-echo-chamber, or like the thousands of centrally-managed Airbnbs that are furnished by Ikea with a few bold touches… but if YOU love them then who cares if they’re dated? The rest of the kitchen is relatively clean-neutral, so you could always swap out the backsplash tile for a fresh look in a few years if you wanted.
Yeah I mean I think the Chip-and-Joanna style hit REALLY hard so the look while not dated yet in terms of time quickly became a “too much” issue. I agree with others that a lot of these are really easy to change as time goes by, but will say that barn doors are not always that easy to change out. Ask me how I know. Our new house has a pair. We tried to remove them but french doors take up too much of a footprint and would need a thicker door-jamb and pocket doors won’t work due to duct work in the walls, so my solution is to upholster them and put new hardware (sleek and now hidden) so the overall look is less barn-ish. I hate them but always chuckle because everyone else seems to OMGLOVE them! That being said, even if you like the look of them, a barn door is a terrible choice for a bathroom. They don’t lock, they let a lot of sound out, they often bounce back open, and you can’t even hang anything on the back of them.
I have nothing to add substantively, but I love it!!
Hello wise ladies of the Hive. I’m looking for some job advice. I am in an extraordinarily toxic work environment, and finally worked up the courage to leave. (I posted a week or so ago about a stranger in an airport commenting on how my boss spoke to me.)
I started job hunting earlier this month, and have reason to believe that I will have one or two job offers in hand by early next week. (As in, my recruiter has been told offers are forthcoming and is working on the salary offers.) I would be happy to accept an offer at either of the two offering companies. I would obviously never do anything to quit until I have another job locked down, but honestly, the only thing keeping me going at this point is daydreaming about the day I can give notice. However, I am also dreading it because my boss is not a very nice person, will feel completely blindsided by this (he’s in denial that he is the cause of multiple people leaving), and I would not be surprised if he tries to retaliate/trash my reputation or do any other number of unprofessional things. I also would not be surprised if he tries to force me to explain myself or why I’m leaving. I know I don’t owe an explanation, he can just be so unpredictable that I want to minimize the unpleasantness for myself as I make my escape. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? Any advice?
Same boat here! Although mine isn’t nearly as toxic as what yours sounds like, he’s also pretty in denial that any issues come from him, and will be blindsided by my news. I plan to tell him I’m excited about the opportunity and hope that he can be excited for me as well; I will try my best to transition projects and train junior staff during the two weeks left. Rinse and repeat.
Congrats on the almost offers! As someone who recently left a very toxic environment, your quality of life is about to improve! Leaving will be an unpleasant blip on the journey to a much better you!
Remember that you cannot control how boss acts. You can only control how you act.
This is a situation where you just need to plan for you. That is to say, download your contacts, empty your office drawers (but not desktop) of personal stuff so you have less things to take home, make sure you don’t have any personal files on your computer. Submit your expenses first (most states require they be paid by law). Be prepared that the day you give notice may be your last day, if your boss is that toxic.
Have a canned answer for why you’re moving on and practice rehearsing it.
Boss: Why are you leaving?
You: After [X] years, [script].
I will post in the comments a great article that will give you some courage on how to phrase. It’s positioned as a what you should say when you are interviewing, but same idea applies. You’re not there to tell boss the truth–you’re there to say something that sounds neutralish, is plausible, and shuts down conversation.
And also read some advice re exit interviews from Ask a Manager. If this boss is this awful, your company knows, and they don’t care, and it’s reason enough to go.
If boss is going to be vindictive or trash your reputation, that’s going to happen no matter what, and will reflect more on him than you. You do you. Just have your escape plan and your canned response ready. You got this!!!
Here’s the link for the script to practice on why you’re leaving:
I may be a bit late in the day, but I’m in my second trimester with my first kid and have been feeling super sensitive lately at work. Part of it I’m sure is hormones, some of it is feeling insecure since I’ll be out for a quarter of the year. I never used to really think twice about asking tough questions or making observations about tasks, but lately I second-guess everything. And it’s lot of internal dialogue about is boss mad at me etc. I have pretty good seniority in my role and have been with this firm for several years so I’m not a newbie.
I’m not sure what I’m asking here.. has anyone else gone through this? Any little pep talks you gave yourself that helped? Trying to reframe my thoughts to being as productive as possible in my shortened year, but doubting myself makes that hard.
Been there! If it helps, I was promoted while on maternity leave and promoted again 6 months after I returned. The sleep deprivation only makes you stronger ;).
Anon for this
(Let me preface by saying I swear I’m not a troll.) Can you recommend a reputable and discrete webs*te to order a “gardening” toy. I’d rather not g00gle because I’m afraid of the ads that might follow that type of search, especially when my kids periodically use my laptop. And also, any recs for a good toy that could be used during the act with my DH to help me reach the finish line?