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Coffee Break: Reversible Tote Bag

This tote bag at Amazon comes in 10 colors, but as far as reversible tote bags go, it's not that different otherwise — it's synthetic vegan leather, and it's a big bag. What's interesting about this one is that it's the bestselling tote bag on the site. I like the light blue color because it's unusual for a bag, and I like the dark navy on the reverse because it's almost the color of dark rinse denim. (The gray is also really nice.) This bag may or may not have a place in your work wardrobe, but I thought we'd feature it in case you're looking for a very affordable reversible tote bag, maybe to keep at the office or something like that. It's 15.5″ x 13″ x 5.5″ and comes with a small clutch-type bag. Scarleton Stylish Reversible Tote Bag This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

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130 Comments

  1. Seems like a lot of ladies here were the types at the top of their high school classes, president of every club and the first person in their town to get into an ivy in 20 years — the type of kid that’s told they’ll do something big in life. So what were the expectations growing up – yours, your parents’, teachers’ etc. How did life turn out compared to those expectations? And if life just turned out “regular” has that been hard to “handle” or cope with?

    1. That was my parents — from a very small town where they are remembered 55 years after they left. They became suburban parents, so not setting the world on fire (which was fine with them — they were never the type to want the limelight or any fame/fortune). They host coffee hour at their church once a week. But they escaped crushing poverty and I think that they are very happy.

      I was the one who was supposed to set the world on fire. And I’ve set a different fire — helping turn around a struggling middle school as my way to change the world after two awful miscarriages. Maybe no one else sees it, but I know I wear a cape like all of the rest of us very undercover superheroes.

    2. My parents,particularly my mother, an immigrant from Italy who came here when she was 18, needed us (I think unconsciously) to be exceptional. She would be unlikely to admit it, of course, but it’s true. Me and my two sisters are all high achievers, for myself…it has been a long road in therapy, learning to accept myself, not having to be perfect and learning to truly love people, my husband and children especially, for who they are not what they do or how much they have accomplished. I did not grow up with that support. This is the legacy of narcissism and it lingers in multiple ways, or it did for me, until it could be worked through…Now at 50 I can feel solid and good about what I’ve done, but it took a long time and a lot of work. That also continues… Also I’m a therapist, so I feel I took a painful relationship and used it for a greater good. That is deeply meaningful for me personally. So I got there, but it is in a different way than it looks externally.

    3. My parents expected me to try my best and be happy. I did and I am. I don’t think they had any specific expectations beyond that.

    4. My stepson dated the girl who was the center of the universe. And she kind of is — everyone in our region knows her.

      I think it’s already going sideways. She followed a BF to Random State U in another state, which I am sure is not what her family wanted for her (and the following a BF to stay together is not what I’d want for anyone at that age).

    5. My parents had high expectations for me academically, but they weren’t crazy. Like, I was horrible at math and science so they didn’t try to pressure me to be a doctor or anything like that. I think they just wanted me to be happy and do my best. My high school (high performance, highly ranked private school) put a TON more pressure on its students to be perfect. There were many tears and many feelings of inadequacies even as I graduated with a 95% average and scholarships to top schools.

      My life has turned out to be far from perfect – I dropped out of university twice, it took me a long time to figure out my career path, I struggled with mental illness – and my life is nothing what I thought it would be like as a kid. I feel sad and guilty about that a lot because I have achieved so little in comparison to my friends, but there’s not much I can do about it.

    6. I was raised by an Asian single mother who was a high school graduate and immigrated to this country in her 20s. My dad was around, but I would see him only on sporadic weekends. My mom had immensely high expectations of me, an A- was never a sufficient grade and she always expected the best. I worked really hard and was super nerdy in school, but was fortunate to have some good friends. But definitely my share of bullying. I went on to get a nearly fully ride at an Ivy (financial based, not merit based), where I felt incredibly intimidated by my peers but somehow managed to do fine (not top of the class, but fine).

      Now as an adult, I have somehow transformed into someone who is considered objectively beautiful and I’m also super successful in my career. I have a wonderful husband and two mostly adorable kids. I’m very happy.

      At the time I thought my mom was a bit much, but I’m really glad that she pushed me as much as she did. I know that my mom would have loved to have gone to college if she had the chance and in a way I feel like she’s living a bit vicariously through me.

      1. I love your story – I know your mom is so proud of you and your happy, successful life!

    7. My mom was a teacher who stayed home fore 10 years with us when we were little. She is still so resentful about it–how she has to work an extra 10 years before she can retire because she stayed home. Then my parents got divorced and she went back to work. I remember she used to do fun stuff with us, but I also remember her feeling very overwhelmed both when my parents were still married and once they were divorced. I sort of wonder if she had kept working, had her own money and sense of self, that maybe she would have been happier.

      Anyway, I have 3 kids now and have always worked. My MIL retired as our youngest was entering school, so that has helped a lot. She lives nearby and will watch them on school breaks, etc. We still sign them up for camps and lessons during the summer, but we can do the camps that are like 9-3 or half-day and she will help shuttle them around. They have some weeks where she just takes them swimming and to the park, which is fine but she also let’s them watch too much TV for my liking. Which is fine every now and then, but I don’t want an entire summer of them watching TV for hours on end. So we do a combination.

    8. I don’t know if i quite fit this stereotype – I was certainly not at the top of my class (though probably near it), and i had only a few activities that I excelled at (i.e. school newspaper). My parents just expected that I do my best, but my high school was a different story – uber competitive and I was surrounded by some of the smartest, most talented people I know (to this day). So while high school was tough for me academically in some respects (especially math/science), and I probably could have gotten into a higher ranked college if I had gone to a less competitive school, it really set me up for success at my top 15 undergrad. As a result, I had near perfect grades in college and got accepted to and attended HYS for law school, clerked at federal district court and appellate level, and ultimately landed my dream job in gov’t. I know my parents are proud of me, but I think ultimately they just wanted me to be happy and felt bad about all the stress I put myself through.

  2. Has anyone taken a job in professional services and found that the job is not the one you signed for? For example, you might have been under the impression that you were going to work with clients in a different industry or that you were going to do a different type of work. How long did you stay?

    1. This has happened to friends of mine in the consulting field. It somewhat depends on your seniority and what you were promised when you went there. For example, if you are very junior, my response would be different than if you were a senior person brought in to do work in a specific area and they were expecting you to bring in your own clients/work. I also can’t tell if you assumed you would be doing a certain kind of work based on the interviews/company, or if you were explicitly told you would be.

      If I were in your shoes, as a starting point, I’d find out why the job is not what you thought by talking to your boss or a trusted colleague. It could be that things are slow and they are staffing you on what they have. It could be that they view the work you are doing as a prereq for the work you thought you’d be doing, and you need to “work your way up”. It could be that the work they hired you for is a new type of work for them and they are working on building their client base. It could be somewhat of a bait and switch. How long I’d stay would vary based on what I learned.

  3. This weekend I got a call from a reliable source that she overheard my opponent, an older man, talking crap about me at a neighborhood yard sale. Specifically he was joking with another man that “if she’s attractive enough, she’ll have my vote.”

    On the one hand, I sort of expected to become a target if I sincerely pursued politics, and this shouldn’t be surprising. On the other hand, it bothers me a lot more than I thought it would. Politicians often get hassled when there’s a scandal when they try to pivot and focus on the issues, but I’d sincerely prefer to do that. I think I have good ideas for our community, and that we should be discussing that.

    Anyway the woman who over-heard this conversation is going to write an editorial to the local paper not naming names, but rather highlighting the white maleness of our current city council and contrasting it with the diversity of candidates standing for election this year – I’m just one of five women who will be on the ballot, two of whom are women of color!

    I know this is something other ‘rettes have faced at work, any commiseration? How did you handle it?

    1. I wouldn’t want any article mentioning my doing anything in the public eye to even mention whether other people thought I was hot or not.

      Maybe an editorial celebrating the field of candidates? But not something leading off with “Can you believe he said that Jane would only have his vote if she were hot enough?” It seems to invite thinking of candidates as hot or not, which is the opposite of what you want. How about whether or not they are good enough or leading off with a better way to sell candidates and not a complaint (by proxy) about the voters?

      1. Oh definitely! I think she’s not even going to mention overhearing anything, but rather making a general case as to why diverse representation is good for our city, especially since the current city council is completely out of whack with the diversity of our population. Then go into specific positions the women candidates are running on and contrast those with the specific positions our opponents are taking, especially on education, which is the biggest voting issue this fall and a great point to emphasize how our perspective is different from that of the incumbents. Basically, channeling a crappy event into the energy to positively advocate for the ideas and candidates she supports, rather than propagating the old sexist bull. Which, good on her! I’m just having some feelings about it myself, and trying to let them go so I can be focused on what really matters.

    2. A family member ran for local office a couple years ago, and I think you do just have to let it roll off. This is part of why politics is so ugly. I think the editorial can be helpful if it’s vague.

    3. There’s an episode of Park and Recreation called Bowling for Votes where Leslie Knope wrestles with this problem.

  4. My mother was a teacher, so her schedule was in sync with mine 100%. She also was able to take off 8 years from when I was born to when my younger sibling started kindergarten. She was also a trailing spouse when we moved for my father’s job, so she was often overqualified and had to start over every time we moved, didn’t get tenure until I was in high school, etc. Every teacher holiday was when we sent to the dentist.

    I thought I got the working mom thing, but I’m in BigLaw and I clearly had no idea what I’d be facing as a (now) working parent. Now that my kids are in school, it is becoming accute: my kids don’t get winter holidays the way their friends do b/c I have to work (so they go to various day camps in our city but don’t get to lounge around in their PJs or have friends over as much).

    If you grew up with a parent like me, what worked? What did you like? What would it help me to understand from your eyes? I feel like some days I fail at being a mom and fail at my job and if there are things that are easy to fix, I will fix them. But I have no one to learn from: the guys I work with have SAH wives and my mom friends are just as frazzled / first generation at this, so we don’t know, either. All help / ideas / thoughts appreciated. Thanks!

    1. Is it not possible to hire a nanny/babysitter for 2 weeks in the winter — so that your kids can wake up whenever and lounge at home and not have to be up and dressed at 8 am to go to some random camp with random strangers?

      1. I suppose I could hire a random person to watch my kid for two weeks instead of sending him to an established camp/holiday program where he will have other kids to play with and probably will know at least one other kid there. Seeing as how most of the nanny/babysitters in our area are either already employed full time or are students (who may be unavailable because of their own school breaks), sometimes random camps are the best that we can do.

        1. Omg cool it with the defensiveness. You complained they didn’t get lazy days home. She had a suggestion to solve that.

          1. Anonymous @3:46 is not the OP. I think she was just defending against the random camps comment, which, to me and I think to the Anon, was a bit of an unnecessarily negative dig at the whole camps thing.

          2. For the “random camps” thing — there are couple that we’ve used in years past where they were in a school cafeteria for 10 hours/day (it was drizzling, so no outdoor time and no one could find the key to the gym, so no indoor recess time, either). They truly hated it and it was the sort of thing I’d use again as a last resort.

            They went to some good camps last year, but they were only from 9-3, so not ideal, esp. when you don’t know which days will go from OK to horrific in terms of my workday.

            I found out too late that there is an excellent Y camp but it is on the other side of the city from us, which might work if we could find people to share the driving with.

            When I said “random camps,” what I meant were the really bad day camp we went to previously. Their summers are filled with camps I would love to go to if they had a session for grownups (tennis camp, yoga camp, adventure course camps).

        2. You made it sound like you wanted an opportunity for them to lay around in their PJs and see their friends. Don’t be rude.

    2. How old are your kids? Because at a certain point they’re not going to need you as much and you could just leave them home to hang out in their PJs over Christmas break, etc.

      1. That’s what I was going to say too. I was basically left alone during holidays after 10-11. Maybe that’s younger than some people would be comfortable with but this isn’t a long period overall. I also babysat and this is exactly the kind of thing you can hire a high school or college student to help with.

        1. Thanks! Mine are too young to stay home alone (early elementary school) and there is one older kid on our street, so she is in high demand. But she may have friends that we should get to know . . .

          1. All my jobs came that way :)
            And not to toot my own horn but I really think most kids I sat for loved having me babysit – it wasn’t like a nanny but more like an older friend/cousin was coming over to play.

    3. For those random weeks/days, one of my single mom colleagues teams up with a friend and they split the cost of a babysitter for school holidays/closures. So they don’t have to bother with camps, the kids can play together, or they can lounge around at home, etc. Could that be a possibility? Or, you, spouse, capable grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc., divvy up days as needed.

      For longer summer vacations, though, I think you need a combination of day camps and perhaps a part/full-time summer babysitter.

    4. No idea, but I swear I want to start a support group for first-gen working moms. The total lack of role models for how this could, or should, work is a huge source of stress. I will say one thing that’s worked for me is taking off as much time as I can when my kids are off. Obviously, it can’t happen every time and I might not be able to take off every day of spring break — but it does make things feel more balanced. I request time off up to six months in advance.

      Summer break is when the guilt hits me hard. The idea of my kids having lazy mornings to sleep in is laughable (as in, I have to laugh or I’d cry). I guess what brings it into perspective is my kids don’t think it’s weird to go to day camp during the holidays. To them, it’s just normal life. I do my best to be a present, engaged parent when I’m with them and do my best to make the holidays special in other ways.

      1. I need this group!
        It recently occurred to me that no matter what success I achieve financially and at work my parents won’t be proud of me. They consider a job a good job if it’s “flexible”. Mine is not. My sister is a teacher’s aide and my mom thinks this is a dream job.

      2. If it makes you feel any better, when I was growing up, both of my parents had busy careers and I actually am really grateful I had that experience. Yes, my brother and I didn’t get to sleep late during the summers, but we went to a “day camp” that got us outside, taught us to swim, taught Hebrew lessons (it was the day camp at the Jewish Community Center). I think it kept us active and kept us in “learning mode” over the summer.

        I also think it helped my brother and I develop independence, too. It’s hard to explain, but to me it felt like “oh mom and dad go to their jobs, and that’s their thing – and I’m going to the JCC and that’s my thing.” We all got to have our own lives outside of the home.

        Plus, now that I have my own career, I’m really glad my mom set such a good example for me. Honestly, when your kids grow up, I doubt think they’ll be thinking “I really wish I would have slept in more.” Some of my favorite childhood memories happened at that day camp!

    5. My mom worked. When we complained she told us to stop being brats, that she worked because we needed the money and she liked it. Unscarred.

      2. Same. It never even occurred to me that I deserved to lounge around all summer because most of our community was single working parents or dual-income families.

        The only real impact this has had on my life is that I tend to keep busy, and have a hard time not scheduling my vacations and weekends to be full of activities.

        1. I did get to lounge around all summer (until I was old enough to work) and I don’t think it helped me and may have actually hurt me. I have terrible sleep habits. I like to stay up really late and sleep in. Those are habits I got into over lazy summers. I like to have lots of unproductive downtime. Adults don’t get a ton of that. You work at work and do chores at home. I like lots of breaks at work and would prefer to lounge at home rather than do chores. Sure, everyone would prefer lounging to chores but I mean it takes EFFORT for me to get off my butt and do what I’m supposed to be doing. I feel entitled to be lazy. I think I would have benefited from a lot more structure at home.

          1. Everything you wrote applies to me too. Agree 100% that lazy summers can be detrimental in the long run.

      3. My mom was a teacher, so while she worked she also had the same breaks as we did for the most part. That said, I certainly don’t remember lounging around! I went to sleep away camp for four weeks each summer beginning when I was around 10 years old, and I loved it! We also had swim team, so we were at the pool by 7 AM each weekday morning and then early Saturday morning for swim meets. I also spent a lot of time at the library and reading, which I suppose could be counted as lounging around?

        We weren’t allowed to watch TV except for an hour or two at night after dinner, so if I wasn’t at the pool swimming, practicing the piano, outside playing with my friends, at camp or at the barn, I’m sure my mom put me to work in the house! I also loved to mow the lawn – free labor for my parents.

        I was very fortunate to have all of these activities available tome, for sure.

    6. Are you a transactional attorney, or a litigator? Both my parents were FT litigators, and so holidays were easy – no one litigates during the holidays, and you can pretty much control your calendar. I have some tips about how they made it work, but it’s definitely with that litigation caveat. They kept very light schedules in that week between Christmas and New Years, and always took a day or two off before Christmas to do some holiday stuff.

      We always took Spring Break trips, and then the summer was full of camps. Camps camps and more camps. As I got older I had more opportunity for down time at home, because we didn’t need supervision. My parents also experimented with hiring college students home for the summer for part-time nanny work. For example, they would get up, get me and my sibling up, and then leave for work. We would hang out in the morning and work through a To-Do list (chores or summer reading lists). College student nanny would show up at noon-ish and take us to afternoon activities and would hang with us until the parents got home. And, of course, my parents took full advantage of those friends of ours who had SAHMs so we could go over to their house during the day.

      I definitely didn’t feel deprived, and all those different camps were character building in a number of ways.

      1. I’m transactional, so month-end and quarter-end and year-end are super busy and stressful. Not good. Spring break rotates, so I often have to work 100% of it and ~12 hours/day. Bleh. Law school seemed like such a good idea when I was 22.

        And while I can work from home, it means that my kids can’t really go out and play on their own or have friends over. It works well when they are sick and can just sit on the couch all day and watch TV, but that’s no way to live when you are well. They need outside, bike rides, friends over, etc. Not all the time, but it’s so, so not ideal.

        1. Ugh, that sucks. Yeah, my transactional colleagues are in such a different boat at the end of the year.

          Here’s one other thought specific to Christmas: my parents really played up specific traditions that happened at discrete, off-work hours – we always went to the Nutcracker, we made a big deal out of our photo with Santa, Christmas Eve was a HUGE deal (like, 10 traditions) and same with Christmas Day. So I always looked forward to those moments (if that makes sense), instead of a block of hang-out time when the holidays rolled around.

          1. Oh, they can go outside without me. But we live in a close-in part of our city that is unfortunately a cut-through street between two major thoroughfares. So for riding bikes and crossing said busy streets, they still need a grownup with them (or much older kid — I sort of trust my kids, but I do not trust busy texting drivers not to hit them). That sort of thing. I’m OK with them being out and about on our block, but the kids they’d play with would require crossing a street. In a couple of years, maybe; but not now.

    7. I have no advice since my own mom was a SAHM but I want to let you know that you are not alone with your feelings about this. It’s hard! I hope someone can answer your question. Hugs.

    8. It also might be helpful for you to figure out what you got from your mom being around when you were a kid, and how that has affected your life.

      For example – a few of the posters have mentioned the ability to have lazy mornings in your pjs. If that is a huge memory for you, or something you think is good for your kids (and I sort of agree, having unstructured time when you’re a kid is super important), then prioritize that on the weekends and the days when you’re home from work.

    9. My mom worked full-time most of my childhood, part-time on occasion. I am the oldest of 3 kids.

      I don’t remember thinking anything at all of the fact that we were always going to camp or home alone. It didn’t occur to me that there was any other way. The only thing that annoyed me was when I was a tween and my mom made me stay home to watch my brother when he was the same age at which I had been on my own. I felt like, if I could be home alone at that age, why can’t he? (I don’t remember what age it was.) I started working at outside jobs at age 14-15.

      The one real impact I felt was how overwhelmed my mom was. She pretty regularly had meltdowns in which she screamed, cried, and sometimes threw things. We were terrified, and honestly I still have some fear associated with these experiences. It may be one of the reason I’ve never wanted kids of my own.

      If I had to blame one source for this, it would be my Dad–he was present in the household, but he left her to do almost everything in the home and with us. He probably wanted a SAHW, but also wanted the income my mom brought in. So I guess the only takeaway is to have a co-parent who isn’t like that. Unfortunately I think many men are.

      1. I’m so sorry for your kid self. And thanks for the warning. I sometimes get mad at my kids (shout yes, the rest never) and this is a good reminder.

      2. My mom thought this was a Korean American male thing, but as I get older, I’m convinced this is a most-males thing. She told me not to date Korean American dudes because they wanted a Korean SAHW but also the income of an “American” woman.

    10. My kid isn’t quite school-age yet, but I’ve had some off-hand conversations with friends that we will join forces and hire college kids home for the winter to watch our 3 kids (total) at one house. Ideally it would work for about a week, and then I could do a camp or something for the other week, plus a day or two off.

      Both my parents worked growing up. Summers were a mish-mash of day camps and college students watching my siblings and I, plus week-long visits to the grandparents. I never felt deprived.

    11. My mom worked. She was a teacher but I was in private school, so our holidays never overlapped at all. Honestly, having a working mom was so good for me – I learned from an early age to see my mother as an independent person who had priorities and needs of her own. I learned to be very independent myself (I was a latchkey kid from about 3rd grade on). Sure, other people could take these big family vacations during spring break, but my parents never set the expectation that we would do that, and I didn’t really miss it.

      And for what it’s worth, since I know working parents worry about this – I was never sad that my parents weren’t at every game/school performance/etc. I treasured when they were there, but I never had the expectation that my parents’ schedules would always conform to mine – and I think that was good.

      1. I definitely second these sentiments about the kind of example and message that come from a working mom. It literally never occurred to me that I would not be financially self-sufficient when I grew up.

        For what it’s worth, I have two close friends whose moms stayed at home with them. Both advised their daughters to keep working. I’ve always thought it was really interesting that these SAHMs did not want their daughters to do as they did.

        1. My mom is also a SAHM who has advised me to keep working. She always frames it as “the world has changed.” I’ve always taken it in the context of — it’s normal for women to continue working after they have children and you’d be an outlier if you stayed home – but now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve really ever asked her exactly what she means by that.

    12. My family had two long-term babysitters, one after the other. First one watched my sister all day and I joined them in the afternoon, second one watched us both after school. They’d also watch us during summer vacations and week-long vacations, but I also remember having to spend days with my mom at work, spending the occasional day at the company-provided daycare/”camp” program (it was a big company), my sister going to Extended Day, me having to go to daycamp, etc.

      They had several ways of making it work, but there were times when I hated it, because I wanted to stay home with my toys and play by myself, or hang out with kids who I was actually friends with, not just kids who happened to be in the same room.

    13. My mom did the SAHM thing when I was bebe and when I had actual, cognizant memories of life, she went back to school, got a masters, and became a b@d@ss nurse practitioner. I mostly remember her stressing over schoolwork, working long hours, me staying at school longer in programs, having a neighbor nanny for a while, and then being a latchkey kid.

      Looking to her I am so proud of her for going back to school and doing her own thing. And then when my parents got divorced much later, she was an independent woman with her own money/income who didn’t need no man. And I’m so proud of her for that too! I strive to be like her, to be independent, proud of my job skills, wanting to crush it at work and not worrying over my kids. (*and I get it, I don’t have kids so I don’t know what I’m talking about, sure*) But honestly I worked my azz off to get my law degree just like my mom did and I like to think she gave that to me.

      Overall, I think women need to LET GO of this pressure that you’re failing. I hope if someday I have kids and start worrying about my mom-capabilities, someone will give me the hard truth that I’m not failing, I’m doing fine, move on.

      These discussions crop up so often on this board and TRULY, the only answer is that we need to learn how to let go. Do ya’ll think husbands worry over being good dads and trying to win the mom-Olympics like women do?

      let the lazy mornings in PJs be damned. your kids will be fine and you are a model for a strong b@d@ss female.

    14. I had two working parents for most of my childhood (my mom was home at some point, not by choice – she was re-training in a new field) so I don’t know any different. I also stayed home alone from an early age and did a lot of day camps during the summer. We plan to use a combination of local grandparents and day camps with our kid(s). Your kids will be perfectly fine. They might complain about not getting to stay home, but then, kids complain about everything! My SO with a SAHM complains about his childhood too. I would encourage you to discuss their feelings with them, explain why you both work, and maybe plan a few fun family vacays if you have the time.

      I don’t mean to make this sound easy – it’s not, at all, even if you grew up with working parents like I did. The older I get and the more I work, the more I believe that it’s insanely difficult to have two working parents in the U.S. without a lot of support because this society is not set up for that (hopefully it changes one day…) That’s likely where your feeling of failure comes from (which you are not, BTW!) It’s still expected for one spouse to devote themselves fully to work, and one to home, especially in fields like law. I personally could not deal with staying home and having my husband work all the time, or vice versa – that would destroy our marriage. And I don’t think our kids would benefit from having one or both parents be miserable. So we make do, and try to do the best we can at both work and home, and get as much support as we can, whether that is grandparents, friends, individual therapy for the broader issues, etc.

      Didn’t mean to turn this into a deeper discussion – I just wanted to address your feelings of failure and why it seems impossible.

      1. “They might complain about not getting to stay home, but then, kids complain about everything! My SO with a SAHM complains about his childhood too.”

        This.

    15. Until fourth grade or so I went to daycare year round that had full time hours during school breaks, so it was largely more of the same – I knew the teachers and other kids because I saw them every day the rest of the year. In fifth grade I had to switch to my school’s after school program which I remember having some full days in winter break too, but I think my parents (one or both) tended to take the entire week off to correspond when we were not in school (also my parents grew up in another state so we would visit family over Christmas).

      That summer my younger sister and I both started dancing so we were at ballet from 8 am to 8 pm pretty much every day, with day or overnight camps covering the rest of the summer. A few times my mom hired a family friend who was in high school/college to drive us around/entertain us between activities (especially when we had to be at ballet right after school – we usually went to the later classes). And for awhile, they had another ballet parent whose daughter went to our school pick us up after school and drop us off for ballet – she actually drove a school bus so we took the route. I think this was a few days a week, not every day. We did homework or read on the bus.

      Eventually I was old enough that I could go home myself and later my parents trusted me with my sister (it was about six months after the first – we are 3 years apart). I don’t feel like I missed anything even though my parents worked 8-5 and orchestrating our non-school activities was a balancing act, especially when we got more involved in ballet (we were taking 15+ classes a week by the end, which started at 4:30 on weekdays). I got the chance to enjoy doing nothing in late middle/high school – and for some of college too (I worked in a restaurant most summers which was not quite full time and my shifts didn’t start until 10 or later anyway).

    16. My mom went back to work when I was in 1st grade or so. And at first I really resented it. I was used to having my mom home, and I hated that I had to go to daycare after school and day camps during the summer. Especially when my friends would be asking around to see who could come over to play in the afternoons, and I almost never could, because both my parents worked full time (consulting and pharmaceuticals).

      While my mom had “flex” time, she would usually only pick us up closer to 6, after almost everyone else had left; she got into work later because she would wait until both my brother and I were off to school. After a while, I got over it. I wasn’t always able to hang out with my friends from school, but I got to see my daycare/day camp friends, and I was busy all day, everyday. And field trips from day camp were nice because sometimes they were things like a baseball game, which I wouldn’t get to attend with my parents because neither of them gave a damn about sports.

      For winter holidays, my parents would work out vacation days so at least one of them would be at home with us. Spring break was usually day care or an older cousin coming to stay. They couldn’t attend every game or event, but I knew that going into it–if it was in the afternoons after school, they would be there to pick me up, but they wouldn’t be there for the game.

      It was only for about 6 years, or so because then I was technically old enough to be alone, and my mom eased me into it by having one of the older neighborhood girls come by and spend the afternoons with me a few days a week.

      Looking back, my mom managed pretty well, given that my dad, as a consultant, was often gone 5-6 days a week on the regular. Things were hectic, but I don’t think I really suffered for having two busy parents. Sure we didn’t get to do regular family vacations and things, but when we did, they made it count. So they were fun, and that’s what I remember more than any given day in day camp.

    17. My mom taught school also. What I remember about summers and school breaks is being crazy bored because after a few weeks, we ran out of things to do. We didn’t have a ton of money, so mostly we went to the neighborhood pool and to the library, and played at friends’ houses. I envied my friends who went to summer camp. What they did seemed way more fun than what I was doing.

      I don’t get guilt over not being able to let kids sit around and do nothing. I don’t believe in overscheduling kids, but I don’t think my son would be better off if I let him sit home and vegetate all summer. He goes to a great day camp that he really enjoys, that balances fun with learning activities and sports/physical activity. It’s great for him and I wish I’d been able to do something like that as a kid. Is it really realistic for kids to think real life is two months of laying around doing nothing? I don’t think so.

      You’re laying guilt trips on yourself unnecessarily. If your mom friends are playing into this, and piling onto the guilt – find new friends.

      1. I just posted above before reading your comment that I think being allowed to vegetate was not good for me and I developed some really bad habits from it.

      2. +1 my mom worked and one summer, she would wake us up early and drop us off at our grandmother’s to hang out all day until she was done work. I started watching Passions that summer and got hooked… that was not a great use of my time…

    18. My mom is a lawyer and about the time I was in middle school (around age 11-12) my friends with stay-at-home moms started being really interested in my mom. The fact that she wasn’t around some of the time was less important and I was so proud to have the mom that all of my female friends admired and looked up to. I have a clear memory of being over at a friends house after school and her mom made us homemade brownies and was sitting at a table with us asking about our day, and I felt so torn between thinking it was so nice and I never had that at home, and at the same time so glad I didn’t have that at home because I got a lot of privacy that I really valued and I loved not having my parents too involved as I got older.

      Most of the time I didn’t realize that I was at camp because my parents were working, I just enjoyed it, and got to experience so much. Also, I still spent plenty of time lounging in pyjamas!

    19. My parents both worked a ton. My mother was a doctor and the primary breadwinner, and my dad had a fulfilling but fairly low-paying job. We were busy and frazzled all the time.

      I think the biggest issue I had with 2 working parents was how busy we were. My mom made a lot of money, especially as I got older, and I was really fortunate (private education, fun after-school activities that I honestly enjoyed), but I didn’t have much down-time. Looking back, I went from school to either after-school care or extra-curriculars (to which I carpooled). We often went out to dinner and didn’t get home until 8 or so, and then it was pretty much time to get ready for bed. The weekends were equally crazy. I think all this made me pretty stressed out and anxious. It wasn’t that my parents pressured me, but I really needed more time to play and decompress.

      My mom was/is a great role model and gives great advice now. She also put a lot of effort into celebrations and traditions for birthdays and holidays. We traveled as a family for her medical conferences and to see my grandparents (at Christmas, but only for one week). I definitely went to a lot of day camps, especially in the summer, but I didn’t really mind not being in my pajamas. I also went to an amazing summer camp starting when I was 8–I spent a month there every year for 9 years, then worked there one summer. Other than my parents, it was probably the biggest positive influence on my life during my childhood.

      It is really hard to have two working parents!

      1. This is what I meant — my kids are always having to hustle off somewhere and I’d really like to let them just not rush for a while. Like stay in PJs and read a book. Unplug.

        1. I was totally overscheduled as a kid, and I wish I had more downtime. But I think this was more of an issue in my teen years, instead of when I was in grade school. I would cut yourself a little bit of slack now, compensate for it a bit on the weekend (also, that means more downtime for you on the weekends), and then allow them more freedom and flexibility when they get into middle school and high school.

          1. Yes! My kids have no ability to be spontaneous b/c they are in school / afterschool until 6. So if they make friends with someone who isn’t, they can’t hang out or play together until I figure out how to make contact with the other mom. If they have a nanny, we still have after school. If the mom doesn’t work, I can’t pick up until I pick up the other kid. It is so hard.

            If they want to pursue a new hobby or just feel a little sick, they can’t curl up and just read a book. They are going going going in a way that I do but I’m older and I’m getting paid and I’m the main earner. I chose this. It was hard for them to learn to ride bikes b/c 6 months of the year it’s dark when we get home. And we often are never home before 6, then we eat, then it just seems like it has been a long day (and for me, I have to get back on line).

          2. Respectfully: maybe what you are figuring out is that working, or at least working in the job you have now, doesn’t work for you and your family. I made a similar choice when my son was a toddler – my husband and I both had demanding jobs, we were crazy all the time, stuff like meal delivery and grocery delivery services didn’t exist and I still had “guilt” over having a housekeeper, so she only came once a month. I ended up losing my job due to a layoff, and then I decided to only work part-time for the next four years. Then I went back to work full-time in a situation that gave me the work-life balance I wanted. Those jobs are out there – they may not be out there in BigLaw but they are out there.

            I hear a lot of lamenting from you, but the situation will only change if you change it. You can regret what your daughters are missing, or focus on what they’re getting from the lifestyle you’re providing. Yes, their upbringing is different than yours. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s worse. If you want something different for them, it’s up to you to create that. W hining and wailing and gnashing your teeth about the situation isn’t going to help you or them.

    20. My mom worked a low paid work-from-home job of combo bookkeeping/phone answering/dispatching for a service company. She sat at her desk and chain smoked and was totally grumpy all day long but she did it so she could be home and not pay for babysitters for us.

      We pretty much watched ourselves, and watched a lot of TV, and when we got older my mom took in some younger children like a family home day care, and my sisters and I did all the childcare.

      So when my kids complain about either going to camp or staying home and being bored (they’ve done both) I tell them to STFU. Seriously. They know we have a roof over our heads because mom works, just like I knew that growing up, and from my perspective, my kids are super privileged because they don’t also have to work like my sisters and I did.

    21. My mom was single and worked as an administrative assistant at a law firm. She made it work through a combination of after-school care, daycare, babysitters, and family who lived nearby. The fact that my mom couldn’t stay at home with me and my siblings was never really something I gave much thought to because many of my friends also had single and/or working moms. The babysitter we had was… very reasonably priced… and I have some interesting stories that now make my mom cringe (she was a very sweet teen mom who smoked like a chimney).

      I turned out better than anyone probably would have hoped (myself included if I’m honest)– I went to HYS for law school and now work in Biglaw. My mom is still my biggest role model. I am still inspired by her strength and drive. I hope to one day be the same kind of inspiration to my kids, although I am thankful to have a very supportive spouse so that I won’t have to do it alone.

    22. So our dad died when I was 11 and my little sister 9. My mom was already working fulltime, but certainly had no choice but to continue working.

      How it worked: Daycare was on-s!te at our school, so that made things easier for her. We were always in daycare: morning daycare (I think it started around 7 and she dropped us off around 7:15?). My mom worked about 45 minutes from our school so she was pretty strict about schedules. Then there was afterschool daycare, which went until 6. We were always the last kids picked up. We did summer daycare too, also at our school. It even had daycare during spring and winter breaks, but that was generally a time that my mom could either take off with us or have us spend time with family. In our area we were certainly in the minority of kids who did not have SAHMs. Sure, we complained a bit – kids complain about everything – but knew that we were a team and our mom was doing the best she could do give us everything. When we got older, we stayed at home some days by ourselves or my mom would arrange for us to go stay with our cousins or grandparents. And as we became heavily involved in afterschool activities, we just had to work out rides – this was usually easy as we were often doing it with a friend whose mom would drive us or there was a bus that would drive us to track meets and bring you back to school where our mom could pick us up.

      How it affected us: All this is to say – we turned out great. We had tons of friends and were disciplined and good at school because we were expected to finish our homework by the time we were picked up. Thank god our mom had a degree and actual career for herself – if any of our classmates had lost a dad (god forbid), they would have crumbled as nearly all of them were SAHMs who didn’t even have careers before they could fall back into. My mom was a role model to us in terms of resilience, independence, hard work, and family togetherness. It also taught us to run our own race – so what if other kids got to do x,y, and z? She used to say: “I’m not their mom; I’m your mom. My job is to worry about you- not other people.” and we knew she did. She sent us to private schools and impressed on us that it was our responsibility to make the most of it. We got into Ivy colleges and I went to law school on merit scholarship and my sister is extremely successful. My mom has had awesome professional accomplishments yet views us as her successes because she raised us on her own. Now she is retired and spends time with her grandkids and traveling and is the happiest person I know. We are so proud of her.

      I don’t think the formula is ever going to be easy- as mentioned above, we need better resources in this country. My mom solved it with a heavy dose of daycare, strategic planning of her vacations, and as much family and friends help as we could get. We love our mother more than anything in this world, even though she couldn’t be at weekday track meets like everyone else’s mom. I think this also was a contrast with other kids whose parents made them the center of the universe. My mom was proud of us for accomplishing so much (we did pretty much every sport, club, and honors classes), but it was our responsibility to sort out our own schedules just like she hers and to tell her what the big events were that she should come to. And it was’t the end of the world if we didn’t place 1st – so long as we did our best and made it worth our time and had fun.

      PS- as a true lesson to run your own race, it turns out that a lot of friends’ moms who stayed home in our younger days ended up having to find part-time hourly jobs at like Crate & Barrel because… they could no longer keep up with the Joneses with new cars for each teen, got hit hard by the recession, got divorced, became bored and felt un-needed as the kids grew older, husband lost his job or wasn’t promoted to keep up with their consumption, etc. etc. etc. It was much harder for them because many had not worked in 15 or 20 years and even then had only had part-time gigs until they got married. All this is to say, it’s hard for moms and working families. Do what’s best for your family and it will turn out great.

    23. Dad in big law, mom in big 4 accounting. What worked was having a full time nanny. This person was more of a chauffeur than anything because sibling and I always had 1,000 activities to run around to a week. They would generally be home from work between 6:30 and 7:30pm, which I realize for many is next to impossible for many. Also, my privilege is showing but I never noticed the vacation issue. We often went on vacation during school breaks, but almost always I preferred to stay home and veg out with my friends. Full time nanny facilitated this. Full time nanny was no longer needed when I (the youngest) entered high school, as enough of my friends could drive that I could get by.

    24. What does your partner do for a living? Is he also a BigLaw transactional lawyer? If not, can he take time off in the winter to stay at home or facilitate pick-up/drop-off to better camps (with worse schedules)? If you’re the primary breadwinner, it might help you more to look to your father’s role in your family to get an idea of what is feasible for you rather than your mother’s. I am a first-generation working mom, but I still have an (awesome) example of a working parent in my dad. Whenever I feel “how on earth am I supposed to juggle this?!” parenting confusion I remind myself that I’m in my dad’s role rather than my mom’s and I can feel my expectations shift and things start to make sense.

  5. Based on the comments, it looks like a few of us are on the hunt for a new job. What is everyone’s best piece of job searching advice? What sort of things have you seen get fast and great results?

    1. I’m in a marketing-related role so probably not the same if you’re in law. But while you have your job, take the extra time (and sometimes even expense) to speak at industry events or write for industry publications. And be generous sharing samples of work that your proud of that could help someone else. Some of the best folks in my network came from seeing me present or from word of mouth through others who saw me present. I’ve kind of formed an informal group now with a handful of folks in my industry where we swap ideas on our best new thing every few months. And it’s been invaluable. Not just in getting tips for how to do my current job better. But I know these folks now on a level that’s not just typical “networking.” Also, stay in contact with past coworkers and bosses. I’ve had insights into jobs before they officially became public this way (and also learned which to stay clear of sometimes). Connections matter a ton. And totally unrelated–but put a lot of weight on your feelings about your boss when interviewing. A good boss who is highly respected in the industry (speaks and writes at industry events) and has a mentor-like vibe is invaluable. That’s how you get the best projects and the support to do more innovative things. I’ve seen friends time and again who like a job and their role but are quickly moving on because of a boss that is a bad fit (too absent/remote, too incompetent, too stuck in status quo, etc.) Pay a lot of attention to micro interactions when you’re interviewing between the boss and the team.

      1. This is good advice if you have the opportunity to do these types of things. Even if you can’t, network, network, network – reach out to everyone you know to schedule coffees, lunches, etc. to talk about careers, their experiences, etc. Often, one of these people will suggest you reach out to someone else, and so your network grows. Eventually, someone puts you in touch with someone else, who tips you off to a job that wasn’t even advertised. That’s how I got my current job and the one before that. I am one of those people looking for a job now, but that’s how it has worked for me in the past and how I expect it will work again.

  6. I’m 27, and just noticed several gray hairs… down there. I was really shocked and a little mortified. I don’t have any grays on my head, and my mom didn’t get grays until she was in her 40s. Do a few gray pubes mean I’m about to go gray all over? I know I shouldn’t care but man it makes me feel old.

    1. Just some anecdata – I am 32 and the proportion of grey “down there” is waayyy more than on my head. I have a few stray greys sprinkled on my head, and I would say I’m 25-30% grey down below.

  7. I’m looking for recommendations for a new hair dryer and thought the ladies here might have some good recs, because the information/reviews out there can be overwhelming. My current hair dryer is over a decade old and is just a cheap drug store brand. I have fine, straight hair but it can be very frizzy, presumably the terrible hair dryer is not helping the frizz situation. I also live in a place with extremely high humidity. Currently I am running a straightener over my hair to fight the frizz, but ideally would love to blow dry and go without straightening!

    I’ve seen the Babyliss recommended here, and it is on my short list, but wanted to see if the Hive had any other recommendations for a good blow dryer. I don’t need a super cheap option, but would like to keep it to around $200.

    Also, if anyone has any product recommendations for products to help with frizz, it would be appreciated. I’m currently not using any (I use Nexxus Hydra Weightless shampoo and conditioner, if it matters), but I suppose I should be putting something in my hair before blow drying. Thanks!

    1. I have a Conair Nano dryer, about 9-10 years old and I wash and dry every day. My hair is fine and straight too, lots of humidity also, and I have minimal problems with frizzing. The nano dryers dry faster and I use a round brush to smooth out. It was about $50 at the time. Not sure if this is the latest technology anymore but just an idea.

    2. My Conair infinity pro has been great. It dries my hair quickly and makes it smooth. I have thick, curly hair that I dry straight most days. I have used hair dryers that were much higher priced and bought this one during a trip where my “good” hair dryer burnt out and I needed something I could get from the Target near the hotel. That was probably 4 years ago!

    4. I have thick, frizzy, sometimes unruly hair. I just bought, and am loving, the Harry Josh Pro Tools Pro Dryer 2000 (sounds like a joke, I know). It’s $200 and worth it. For frame of reference, I have had several $200 blow dryers and this one outshines all the others.

    6. I have tried several brands and was happy with: Babyliss (my current favorite) and Philips.
      Babyliss has better “power” and it seems to hold with time better than Philips. Before I tried Babyliss, I was happy with my Philips. Tip: Keep your hairdryer away from your bathroom. The moisture will eat up the metal parts and the dryers will deteriorate faster. I keep my dryer in my bedroom.
      I have wavy hair prone to frizzing and with a powerful hairdryer and the right technique, you will be able to blow your hair dry and straight using just the dryer and a round brush. I promise.

    7. Was just having this discussion with my hair dresser, and he recommended CROC brand over all others. It’s what he and other stylists use in the salon & said it would last forever in a home setting, even with their most basic model. He gets a new one each 2 years, only because it starts to look beat up from constant use in the salon, not because it is performing any less well.

      I was impressed with how quiet the dryer was, and how quickly it dried my hair.

      Cheapest one on Amazon is around $100.

    8. Thanks for all of the recs! I’m going to check these out. I’m really antsy to get a new one, but am afraid I’ll spend a lot of money and then end up with buyer’s remorse.

    9. If you need a travel one, the Drybar Baby Buttercup works well for blowing my thick, wavy hair out to straight while travelling. Plus, it doesn’t take up half my suitcase.

  8. Does anyone have any recommendations for a therapist or counselor who gets the biglaw life? After a few months of feeling okay, I feel myself starting to slip back into a bad place where everything feels personal and raw, I get weepy at my desk and everything feels hopeless. I wish I knew what made the switch flip suddenly, but I can’t find a trigger. I’m looking for someone who gets that self-care will need to be scheduled around other ridiculous biglaw demands. Someone who does phone/Skype sessions is ideal for that reason. Thanks!

    1. If you are a Kaiser member in DC, their whole department seems to understand, and they have Skype sessions available.

    3. Have you checked with your state’s lawyer assistance program? I found a therapist and a psychiatrist through that organization, and they both had a ton of experience with lawyers, which helped a lot.

  9. Canadian friends please HELP!!!

    I am going to be in Montreal right before Thanksgiving and thinking about spending the holidays there. Am I crazy? Is it too cold and am silly to think of this? I have about 4 days or such of holidays that time, what else would you suggest I do? Happy to travel outside of Montreal and farther away. TIA!

    1. I’m assuming you mean American thanksgiving so end of November? It’ll be cool but probably not freezing yet and unlikely to have snow yet. I don’t think that’s crazy as long as you’re okay with cooler temperatures. It’s been a while since I’ve been there in November but I’m sure if you’re in jeans, sweaters, booties with a wool jacket, you’d probably be fine (I don’t think you’ll need a parka yet).

      What kind of things do you like to do when traveling? Montreal has great food, nightlife, neighborhoods if you’re wandering around…

    2. You are talking about spending American Thanksgiving in Montreal, right?

      Because Canadian Thanksgiving is in about 10 days and it is freaking boiling hot here right now.

      Either way, Montreal is a gorgeous, fun, diverse city and is fun to visit any time of the year.

      2. I’d spend 2 days in Montreal and 2 days in Quebec City. I love old Quebec.
        The other option is 3 days in Montreal and 1 day in Ottawa.

        Either way it will be cold/cool but there will not *likely* be snow yet.

    3. Well, there’s no temperature requirements for vacations, other than what you feel comfortable with . . .

    4. I did American Thanksgiving in Montreal two years ago. It was great – cold enough for the heavy winter coats but still comfortable weather for being outside, walking places, etc. No traditional meal, of course, but I assume if you’re suggesting this than that’s ok with you. I will say that we didn’t find a lot to do, but that was probably because we just didn’t plan ahead well enough.

    5. It won’t be super cold in November, winters don’t get REALLY bad here until Jan-Feb. There might be snow, it could be totally dry.

      Montreal is a wonderful, diverse, fun city and I highly recommend it.

    6. If you are still following– I went to Montreal in late December last year, and it was divine. Don’t let the cold hold you back! It’s a wonderful city, and lots of underground walkways if it’s blizzard-ing.

  10. Few days for work + 4 more days may be too many in Montreal. Go further West or South.

  11. Is anyone else just inherently turned off by super cheap fast fashion? (I don’t know if this bag meets the definition, but I generally put a lot of super cheap Amazon clothes/accessories in that category). I appreciate the affordability, but how long is a $25 bag really going to last?

    1. I cannot speak for this bag, but I have an equivalent from Target that has seen hard use for four years. When it comes to bags, I honestly do not see much difference in use of a $100 bag vs. a $25 bag (although I do see it once you get up to $200).

      With regard to clothes, a lot depends on what it is. A few years ago I realized I was spending a lot on non-work clothes of sufficient quality that they held up for years; the problem being that the style did not. I have a bunch of capri pants of excellent quality but that now read as very dated. Having said that, there needs to be a happy medium between clothes that fall apart after a season and ones that would last forever but won’t be in style in two years.

    2. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it means I can refresh my style more frequently. Some things are classics that are worth spending money on – you’ll always need black flats, for example. Other times, by the time a bag from JustFab has worn out, I’m probably ready for something else – a different style or color.

      On the other hand, it’s wasteful. Cheap clothing can be recycled at H&M when it’s worn to rags, but AFAIK there’s no way to recycle used up bags or worn out shoes, and I don’t like thinking of that stuff rotting in a landfill forever.

      1. Recycled is better than tossed in a landfill right away, but what is it being recycled into? Is it just being donated or is it being turned into another product? Donation has value, but maybe not as much as we think it does.

    3. I realized I kept buying “nice” things but still tiring of them (and honestly given the quality of j. crew-esque-brands many of them wore out in similar lengths of time to my cheap stuff anyways) so I’m trying to learn to get past my hesitations and buy nicer-but-cheaper (like well-reviewed Amazon stuff) for things that are more “fun” or things I’ve had to rebuy often from more-expensive brands anyways. Honestly, my Old Navy brocade pixie pants have garnered more compliments than the fancier ones I wear most other days (and they’ve yet to wear out).

      1. +1 My j. crew-esque brand purchases cost a heck of a lot more but wore out just as fast. It could be that they lowered quality to keep up with fast fashion in the first place, but that seems to be where things stand now.

    4. I’m totally turned off by fast fashion. generally speaking, working conditions are horrible and the manufacturing process is bad for the environment. The clothes are quickly discarded or “donated” and the cycle starts again.

      I really do try to buy fewer, better things. For brands I know my size in, I’m willing to buy gently used on eBay or Etsy.

  12. Ugh. I had the kind of Monday morning where everything went wrong. And one of those things appeared to be my curling iron?

    I curl my hair every.single.morning with the same iron, max heat, generally the same timing. And this morning, it burned my hair several times, to the point where some came off in clumps! No idea why. I need to buy a new curling iron, right? Whyyyy did this happen?

    I looked on the inside of the curling iron part that holds your hair to the iron (no idea how to describe this) and it was partially discolored, so maybe something got inside? Or it has always looked like that and I never noticed?

    1. Did you melt the cord with it? I’ve done this on a flat iron before – caught the cord from the iron or hairdryer in the clamps while it was heating up. If you did, the plastic can heat up & burn your hair. Try seeing if it will peel off & if that’s what you did before you buy a new one.

    2. I know you’re not asking for recommendations on a new curling iron, but I am so obsessed with mine that I recommend it to everyone: I use the 1.25 inch Beachwaver curling iron and it has seriously changed my life. I have extremely thick, long hair, that is just a beast to manage and nearly never holds curl. Wands don’t work on my hair. Chis don’t work on my hair. This baby not only cuts curling time in half, it also makes it easier on my old lady wrists because it self-rotates, and my hair still looks curled or waved and fabulous FOUR DAYS after I curl it. Not a typo. I highly recommend it. (But not the more expensive “pro” version, which for some ridiculous reason comes bedazzled but without the necessary “home” button for the rotator).

      For the first time in my life, people literally stop me on the street to compliment my hair. All the time. Seriously, it’s a miracle worker.

  13. Repost from earlier thread –

    Any recs for restaurants in Amsterdam or Bruges? I’ll be staying in the museum quarter in Amsterdam. Will reservations be needed in October?

  14. Anybody can vouch for specific Lululemon products? I’ve been happy with Athleta and UA for running/athleisure but I just got a gift card from Lululemon. I was looking at the latest collection online and the reviews are bad! Seems that there is a lot of fraying/seaming issues. Hopefully I can get something that will last for a while.

    1. Anybody can vouch for specific Lululemon products? I’ve been happy with Athleta and UA for running/athleisure but I just got a gift card from Lululemon. I was looking at the latest collection online and the reviews are bad! Seems that there is a lot of fraying/seaming issues. Hopefully I can get something that will last for a while.

    2. I love their yoga pants (go ahead & call me basic), but my most favorite thing is their “it’s really raining” jacket – perfect for travel & wet weather in general. It’s not bulky & is great for layering in moderate climates. I also always take it traveling.

    3. Their sports bras are the only ones I wear. YMMV on that though if you’re busty. I wear a 34A.

    4. If you need a gym bag, I love their gym bags – so many pockets! I use one as a weekender and I love it. It helps me stayed really organized.

  15. I have this in the red/tan. The handle is edged in black, and the edging started peeling away after a few months. I did like it well enough up until then.

    1. I’ve actually had good luck with the Walmart reversible tote. It has held up much better than a more expensive Olivie + Joy vegan leather bag (which started peeling right away as you describe).

  16. I’ve had this tote in black/nude for about six months. As noted above, the black edging on the straps started peeling away after a few months. Still got my $20 worth. .

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