Gift Idea: Shattered Glass Ceiling Paperweight

I always like Uncommon Goods for fun gift ideas, like this Shattered Glass Ceiling Paperweight. You could get it for yourself, certainly, but you could also give it to a woman in your life, such as if she’s a mentor or sponsor. As the product page says, it “symbolizes breakthroughs achieved by women past, present, and future.” (There’s also a necklace.) It only has a few reviews so far, but they’re positive. The paperweight is $48 at Uncommon Goods. Shattered Glass Ceiling Paperweight

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  1. I’m getting married in the spring in a very rural area where there aren’t many wedding vendors to choose from. I found a florist whose work I really liked and emailed her. I didn’t hear back for about a week, and then she replied to say she was just coming back from maternity leave and completely overwhelmed and thanking me for my patience. She said she’d email me the next day with an questionnaire about my style and needs, etc. She didn’t and I emailed her again another week later. She apologized again for being overwhelmed and sent me the questionnaire…and never responded after I sent it back to her.

    Do I bother following up with her again? This is a second wedding for both me and my fiance, and it’s on a weekday, so this isn’t a grand affair – it’s more like an elopement – so I’m not over here freaking out. And I want to be gentle with someone just coming back from maternity leave. And it’s Christmas. And there’s no one else locally whose style I liked (the only thing else is FTD florists – and I’m not DIYing). But am I making too many excuses and I’m going to regret it? Or because it’s a Thursday months from now, I should chill until January and reach out again?

    • Anonymous :

      I would chill until January. Coming back from maternity leave and straight into the Christmas rush is daunting and she may have overestimated her ability to balance things. If she’s flaky in January, move on. If you pick a simple style, any decent florist should be able to replicate it.

    • Anonymous :

      It’s a Thursday months from now. Chill.

  2. Puddlejumper :

    I am looking for a nice warm wool coat for my husband. He is a tiny guy – 125 pounds, 5’7. He doesn’t need any more athletic coats, he needs something he can wear going to a nice dinner or to a show. He gets cold easily probably haha due to the fact he has no fat so really the warmer the better. Totally fine with taking something to the tailor to get it adjusted. However I am finding zero coats that would even look good on someone his size. Any ideas? Where do your husbands shop for coats?

    • Why do you think you need a particular style for his size? Wouldn’t you just get a smaller size of a normal wool peacoat? My husband has a wool peacoat from Lands End and it is very nice quality and veeerrry warm. If you are really worried about the size issue, try Uniqlo or J Crew– both of those stores have slimmer cuts in my husband’s experience. One caveat is that I have a wool coat from Uniqlo and it’s not super warm.

      • Puddlejumper :

        I think he needs a particular style for his size because most that we have tried are too long or too big in the shoulders even when sized down. They don’t typically do a slim fit version of coats. We tried a Jcrew one and it fit fine around the stomach but the shoulders were huge and it was waaaay too long.

    • I hear you. My husband is about the same size. It’s very hard to find coats that are small enough, fitted in the shoulders and where the sleeves aren’t too long. Try Bannana Republic. Not sure how much you are willing to spend, but his best fitting coat is an Italian wool from a store in Milan.

    • Mineallmine :

      I would definitely go for a European brand, preferably Italian, and a simple cut in the best price point you can afford. Don’t go for a double breasted style, as it’s difficult to alter and can overwhelm a slimmer frame. Black is ok, but I find charcoal grey to be much more versatile, or maybe a navy blue – it depends on what suits or other more formal wear your husband has that it will need to go with.

      Keep in mind that once you get the shoulders to fit right, the rest can be tailored on a simple, high quality coat, and probably no matter what you go with, you’ll need to get it altered for that perfect fit. It’s worth it though. Sorry I can’t help with specific brands as I don’t live in the US, but as mentioned above, Italian and French brands would probably work best, or perhaps a slimfit British brand.

    • There’s a brand for “not so tall” men called Peter Manning, I think. They may have something.

    • If you basically need a Petite in Mens, I would consider custom made. That doesn’t have to cost a fortune! Google for some website that offer making coats with your own measurements, look at Etsy or if you are travelling soon (Asia particularly) get it made there (or get him a voucher to get it made there).
      We have had great luck with getting Cashmere Peacoats made in Shanghai, they have markets were you can do that (and its inexpensive). I also get custom clothing on Etsy.

    • Can you find a unisex-looking coat in women’s sizing?

    • Flats Only :

      Look up Peter Manning. Basically petite menswear. Your husband is their exact target customer.

  3. (posting again from the office supplies post) i got a positive result on a pregnancy test this morning!! We’re TTC and I’m totally freaking out but in a nervous way! Sorry if this is TMI but I spotted a few days ago and swore it was the start of my period, so I still don’t totally believe this is real, and am well aware of chemical pregnancies… Going to doctor tomorrow to confirm – yikes! But i had to share somewhere!!

    • Congrats! Spotting is really really normal and I wish someone would have told me how much spotting and how common it was. I spotted for over a month after finding out I was pregnant. I had a totally healthy pregnancy (other than panicking about spotting!).

      • Yes! I had a lot of spotting in the first month and it was totally fine (just needed a couple extra rhogam shots). Congrats!

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Wheee! Exciting!!!

    • Lana Del Raygun :

      Congratulations! Way to go!

  4. Simple Leather Bags :

    Has anyone a simple leather tote on Etsy? With or without a zipper? Looking for myself and a friend, and the options are overwhelming. Would love seller recs there or other small sellers. Thanks.

    • pugsnbourbon :

      I have the Vintage Tote from WP Standard. Got it two years ago and it’s gorgeous – no zipper.

      Can also vouch for Howl and Hide Supply – higher price point, but their totes have a zipper.

  5. This or the necklace would be a great graduation gift!

  6. All I want is a snow day/ice day/slush day tomorrow. I have exams for a grad class due this weekend and I’m trying to save vacation days for Christmas. If schools close, we get a paid day off as well. We have a 70% chance of rain/snow mix with below freezing overnight temps, so there’s a tiny chance it will happen, but probably not. Just enough to get my hopes up.

    • Anonymous :

      I feel ya! I’m taking a class too, and I have a final exam Monday and a project due Tuesday. I can only afford one day off at this point, and am using it on Wednesday as a reward for getting through my mountain of work, but I am not looking forward to working 12+ hour days every day until then. We’re expecting some snow this weekend or Monday, but I’m considerably farther north than you and I don’t think it will shut anything down.

    • Cat Lady In Training :

      Oh god yes. I did a Kroger clicklist order that I’ll pickup on my way home and my fingers are CROSSED. I’m so tired and burnt out right now.

    • I hope we do too! I’m off all next week skiing, and an extra day out of the office would be amazing.

  7. Costa Rica :

    Hey ‘rettes. My fiancee and I are planning a week-long trip to Costa Rica this winter. We’ve never been and are wondering if anyone has recommendations! We are very active travelers and don’t mind moving around a lot during a week (in fact, we prefer it that way). We are fine renting a car (based on my research it seems that might be most efficient, but there are some insurance issues to look into.) We would love to do a mix of beach time and jungle/nature stuff (hiking, wildlife, etc.), plus get a sense of what local life is like there. We are flying in and out of Liberia and are not afraid of long-ish drives to get from point to point.

    • Sassyfras :

      We were there earlier in the year, stayed near Manuel Antonio (Quepos) which would be quite a drive from Liberia. That being said, the area was beautiful and there was lots to do! We did hiking, an ATV tour through the jungle with a stop to jump off a cliff by a waterfall, horseback riding, and beach time. Ooh, and sailing at sunset was pretty spectacular too. If you head down that way, get a massage at Raindrop Spa. It was heavenly. Have fun – it’s such a beautiful country!

      • Anonymous :

        We stayed in Quepos two years ago (in Sept/Oct) and it was lovely. We had an infant with us, so we did not do a lot of travel in the country. We loved Manuel Antonio park, but also found Quepos to be charming. We also went to the spa and the massage (chocolate?) was great… except when the frogs came out in the evening! They sounded like the souls of the damned!

        We flew in/out of San Jose, and took a bus to get to Quepos ($10 pp?), but then flew back (the flights were ~$75/pp) and flights were SO worth it.

    • Debbie Downer :

      For a week long trip, based on your city of arrival, and your interests (beach and jungle), I’d recommend Arenal and Guanacaste. Extra tip: In Arenal, if you want to dine with the locals and eat delicious food, I highly recommend Nenes Restaurant. Enjoy your trip!

  8. Anonymous :

    So unknowingly I moved into a new job and a new area with a bit of a – I don’t cook, why would I, that’s what restaurants are for – attitude that lots of younger people have in NYC. Didn’t realize really that I was doing it because I don’t talk much at work about myself or my life. So I’m also not someone who’d say – oh yeah I made the best stir fry last night. So I just realized that people have this impression of me as someone joked – oh we wouldn’t have you do the arranging for the holiday party because we’d probably end up with pizza. I’m kind of thrilled to not be involved but kind like – hmm you’re criticizing my lifestyle, really?!

    • That’s an awesome impression for people to have of you! Women are always expected to cook for office potlucks etc and the men are expected to chip in for pizza. I’ve told this story on here before, but I was the most senior person in my department and I was asked to bring in a turkey (a cooked turkey!) while the men who were a rung down from me could not be counted on for more than $20 toward paper plates or whatever.

      Be like the men.

      Don’t cook.

      For the record, I did not cook a turkey, and they were lucky to get $20 from me.

      • Agree!

        OP run with it. Don’t take it as a criticism. Be light-hearted.

        And don’t cook.

        • Anonymous :

          OP here – lol no I won’t be cooking just because I was “criticized.” Frankly even if they directly asked, the answer would be – no sorry I don’t do that. Truth is I can manage simple dinners for myself a few nights/week but that’s it. No idea how to cook for a crowd, nor do I own large enough pots and pans.

    • Yep, they’re not criticizing your lifestyle, they’re criticizing your life choices as a woman. Women should be baking cupcakes and putting up streamers, men will just order pizzas if they’re in charge of the holiday party.

      Just own this as a part of yourself. “You guys know me so well! I can definitely bring some napkins or a 2 Liter if you need it though, you’ll probably just need to remind me the day before.”

    • Baconpancakes :

      I strongly recommend you avoid correcting their impression. I bring leftovers for lunch most days, and my coworkers were astonished at the variety and types of leftovers I brought (like sauteed delicata squash, not molecular gastronomy), and it got around that I am a cook and I love food. So then when I brought chips and dip to a potluck, I got major stink eye, and was directly confronted as to why I didn’t bring one of the fancy things I could cook…

      • Anonymous :

        Op here – now that you mention it, their impression may be coming from the fact that I buy lunch daily and have never brought home made anything for lunch the whole year I’ve worked here.

      • Just wanted to say your coworkers are totally rude!

        • Anonymous :

          I moved from nyc where everyone in my office lived their own life – all different lifestyles – to a southern city where you MUST be married with 2.5 kids, own a house, cook nightly and bring leftovers to work, and talk in detail about your kids potty training or preschool pageant or whatever. And these aren’t older people, all are age 29-35/40. If you don’t fit into these categories (and I don’t fit in anywhere – single renter who doesn’t cook), people feel free to make comments. I give it back to them with – oh I’m jetting to NYC for 3 days to take in the holidays – which leaves them mentally calculating how I afford that.

        • agree, but… OP is coming across a smidge arrogant and rude, as well

          • I was referring to Baconpancakes coworkers.

          • Perhaps I read thiss*te too much, but she reminds me of the poster who was irked that her coworkers were excited over salsa recipes.

            OP don’t take it too personally. I’m like you and don’t cook and don’t have the desire to learn. My coworkers make comments too (mostly the older secretaries). That said, my un-enjoyment of cooking is fairly well known and people who know me would 100% say I’d show up with cheese and a sheet cake if I hosted an event. It’s just idle chatter/ awkward joking. Let it roll off your back.

    • I understand feeling defensive, but yes! Be the girl who doesn’t cook and OWN IT.

    • Assume they were kidding. It’s not a big deal.

    • lawsuited :

      I would take this commentary the same way I would take “oh geez, lawsuited knows nothing about programming, we better not get her to sort out the company website!” or “the photocopier is broken, but lawsuited definitely couldn’t fix that”. Yes. Duh. I am not good at those things. Those things are not how I contribute at work. Shoulder shrug and move on.

  9. Agh. Any tips for filling out a self-evaluation form for work? My questions (other than the first) seem horrific to answer.

    1. List significant projects, contributions, and accomplishments over the past year.

    2. How would you describe your progress in the position?

    3. What have been the most challenging aspects of the position?

    4. What areas do you intend to improve upon next year?

    5. What steps do you intend to take next year to continue to develop professionally, and are there things the firm could to be supportive?

    • I should add that I was hired in February, so I have no idea what this is going to entail since it’s my first.

    • Be like a mediocre man and brag about yourself. Seriously, nothing good comes of modesty in these situations. I used to manage a staff of over 40 and we all had to fill out self evaluations. The women consistently under rated themselves and the men consistently overrated themselves. And it mattered, because when we were roundtabling final ratings with other managers, the first question was “what did she/he rate herself/himself?” That influenced the final rating a lot.

      Do NOT be modest!

      • Senior Attorney :

        This so hard.

      • nasty woman :

        All I want for Christmas is the confidence of a mediocre white male.

      • Yep. Unless you know you are bombing in the position, use every single question as an opportunity to brag about yourself.

      • This x 1,000.

        I manage a decent-sized team of both men and women, and while I’m generalizing here, the differences between how they talk and rate about their performance in their self-evaluations is ASTOUNDING. Brag – the guys you work with are doing it.

    • Answer like it’s a job interview.
      Or pretend like you’re POTUS (seriously, just for a minute) to psych yourself up.
      “Progress? I had the best progress! It was the most progress you’ve ever seen anyone progress.”
      And take this as an opportunity for internal reflection to help answer the questions. Since it’s your first year, what have you been happy with so far? What was different from your expectations, and how did you overcome that? Are there things you’re looking forward to in the coming year?

    • sweetknee :

      I always tell my daughter that women are usually twice as good as they think they are and men are half as good as they say they are. Pretend to be a man writing about himself. You’ve got this!

    • 2. Great, totally up to speed
      3. Getting familiar with clients’ politics (something external to you)
      4. Continuing to do well at X (whatever you do well at – focus on your strengths and talk about getting even better at them)
      5. Networking, budget for client dinners (not even kidding here)

    • These seem totally typical. Take time on it, be accurate, and sell yourself.

  10. How do you raise your children (specifically sons) to not have imbalanced gender expectations of home tasks….if the female adult at home happens to love cooking and do more house stuff because they enjoy it and the adult male can’t even make a pb & j.

    • Anonymous :

      You involve the sons in cooking with you from a young age so as not to leave an impression that only women cook, but rather those who can cook do and the others get by on PBJ. I’d also make sure to involve them in day to day dinners – or weekends if weeknights are hectic – not just a special event of making holiday cookies or birthday cake 1x per year.

    • New Tampanian :

      Teach your sons how to cook. Make it a fun activity for the whole family, even dad.

    • Anonymous :

      Agreed with teaching your sons to cook, but also make sure they see their dad doing lots of domestic tasks like laundry, dishwashing, meal planning, grocery shopping, etc.

    • I make sure my son gets age appropriate exposure to all aspects of home tasks. I was perfectly capable of taking care of home maintenance tasks before I met my husband and he surely didn’t starve to death before he met me. Both of us have sufficient life skills that our parents taught us. Advanced skills like I’m a really good cook and he’s super DIY handy aren’t gender related as much as they are letting each of us contribute our strongest skills to the household tasks. We also talk to our child about how some things no one likes doing, but they need to be done, like laundry.

    • Don’t unnecessarily praise them or their father for things that are typically “female.” Growing up, when I cooked something it was appreciated, but in a normal “good job” kind of way. When my brother cooked something, it was a HUGE EVENT that required getting mom’s help with the recipe and going on a special shopping trip for the ingredients. Afterwards, my parents would constantly bring it up to family and friends as how great it was that Brother baked a pie! Same when my dad would make dinner. Mom makes dinner every night, no special praise beyond “thanks for dinner.” But when dad grills something or cooks anything it’s a BIG DEAL and he gets kudos long after the meal is over.
      So make sure their involvement in cooking is seen as normal, not exceptional.

    • Anonymous :

      You can’t. You start by your useless husband learning how to cook and then actually doing it. I mean my gosh he’s an adult who cannot boil pasta? If you actually care about teaching equity you have to care enough both of you to actually live it yourselves.

      • You know, I kind of agree with this. But I think your husband needs to step it up AND you should just involve your sons in cooking, etc. like it’s a totally normal thing to do because it IS a totally normal thing to do.

      • This. Kids don’t know the difference between spaghetti and meatballs made from scratch vs. made from frozen. They know who they see in the kitchen and who’s serving the food on their plate. Dad can boil water and microwave some frozen meatballs.

      • Two Cents :

        This. My friend came home after giving birth and the first thing her husband asked was, what’s for dinner baby?!!!! oh my god. Needless to say she was furious. But this is because she always, always, always does the cooking. Don’t be like her.

        • Rainbow Hair :

          I can’t believe this man is still alive. Either (1) because how did he not starve to death before meeting her and (2) how did he survive the aftermath of that question?

        • Anonymous :

          Everything about this is so gross. I don’t even think it’s that big a deal that the husband can’t cook, but he’s a grown man and can go pick up a takeout or order in pizza. That idea that he expects a woman who gave birth ~48 hours ago to cook him a dinner, and is SO presumptuous he doesn’t even ask “Are you cooking dinner?” but rather “What’s for dinner?” is just…I can’t even. I would have been so tempted to kick him in the balls and then say “Ok now that your nether regions are in a comparable amount of pain, what’s for dinner?”

    • I think you regularly include your children in all the activities of managing a home. My FIL literally cannot boil water for pasta while my MIL is an excellent cook. My husband grew up helping in the kitchen on the regular as part of his daily chores, despite his grandmother making many snarky comments about it not being a “man’s place.” My husband now very much enjoys cooking and is very proud of some of his signature dishes. (Seriously, his coconut cream pie is pretty freakin amazing.)

    • I have been thinking about this myself. Thank you – I really appreciate this thread!

    • biglawanon :

      I have four boys. They all help with age appropriate tasks like laundry, cooking, washing dishes. I would say I am more the household COO than my husband, but he also does plenty of things without being asked.

  11. wildkitten :

    My phone screen has spiderwebs on it (I’m pretty sure it’s the plastic cover on my screen and not my actual screen) and this paperweight REALLY stresses me out!

    • My daughter got her phone screen replaced at a mall kiosk and it was really inexpensive, like $60-ish. She says it’s like having a new phone.

    • I agree with Wildkitten. We do NOT need to see something with a crack in it and pay for it! Our stuff gets broken soon enough, so enough with the glass cieleing stuff! FOOEY! I have an iPhone with a glass screen shield and it works great! Tesyaa, you need to tell your daughter to be more careful with her iPhone. Dad warned me I would NOT get another iPhone if I did not take care of mine! YAY!!!!

    • Senior Attorney :

      And also? I would enjoy this paperweight way way more if the glass ceiling had actually been broken…

      • Anonymous :

        Yeah, I was going to say…this needs a trigger warning.

      • Rainbow Hair :

        …sigh… it’s like, “hey look, little cracks, good for you, but you can’t really get there, can you?” …i am sure people read it differently, but it’s kind of a sad paperweight, to me.

        • I had this same reaction as well. I don’t really want to celebrate all of the obstacles I’ve unsuccessfully faced at several different jobs over the years. No thanks.

          • Glass ceiling :

            You can actually buy a cracked glass ceiling paperweight.

          • Isn’t that the same paperweight Kat posted?

      • Anonymous :

        I think this depicts what happened to my heart when America elected the Predator-in-Chief.

    • Lana Del Raygun :

      To me it looks like a glass coaster I dropped something on.

  12. Leapfrogging off of someone else’s morning post on the same topic, hoping for more replies in the afternoon.

    I’ve been dating a guy for ~2 months, it’s not “official” or defined, but I see him 2-3x a week. Suggestions of how to handle Christmas gifts, and moreover, his birthday which is next week? I’m thinking of doing fun dress socks for one or the other, and maybe an experience type of thing for the other (escape room possibly). Are socks too weird of a gift? Other suggestions?

    We are both engineers and both like hiking, camping, and biking.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I think socks sound perfect.

      And don’t be surprised if he doesn’t get you anything. (Although yay for his birthday being next week because you can model gift-giving behavior….) I got my husband a small gift our first Christmas and he didn’t get me anything and that was fine. Just be prepared to be fine with it if that happens to you.

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