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Given that most of my social and professional interactions are done via videoconference these days, I’m always looking to add some blouses with interesting necklines to my wardrobe. This mock-neck silk blouse from Rebecca Taylor would be a great addition.
This dark purple color would be flattering on my washed-out winter complexion, and the floral print provides some visual interest without being too busy.
For a work-from-home day, I would wear this with some leggings and a chunky sweater. In the office, I would tuck this into a pencil skirt or some dark trousers.
The blouse is $350 at Nordstrom and available in sizes 00–16. It also comes in “duck egg” blue.
This Halogen top (in the “black-pink morgana floral” print) is a more affordable option (available in regular and plus sizes); this Vince Camuto blouse is also a nice option (lucky sizes only).
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Endometrial biopsy question
Has anyone here undergone an endometrial biopsy? How painful was it? Any tips, advice much appreciated. I’ve been having a lot of spotting and bleeding in between periods. My obgyn has said she wants to do uterus u/s and possibly this biopsy. Kidney and bladder u/s all came back normal.
Thanks in advance.
busybee
Yes, and it wasn’t awful. Some cramping but nothing major. I took 600mg of ibuprofen beforehand.
Friday
Yep, I had one a few months ago. It was slightly more uncomfortable than a pap, but nowhere near as painful as an IUD insertion or HSG. I do think you can take NSAIDs after, but I didn’t find it necessary. I hope she finds what’s ailing you.
Anonymous
Thanks!
Anon
This qas my experience too, some years ago – slightly more uncomfortable than a PAP. Minor spotting possible after if I remember correctly, so have a pantiliner handy.
Anon
Same. Not super uncomfortable.
Anon
I found it really unpleasant but may have been due to the stress of the situation more than the actual pain.
Anon
I had one. I found it crampy and uncomfortable but not unbearable. My OBGYN gave me some Valium to take ahead of time (just before I showed up) and it helped a lot.
Anonymous
Is this what is also called a “punch test” (like they take a hole punch like tool for the sample)? I got one after two weird PAPs a while back. They tell you to take ibuprofen before. It was uncomfortable with maybe a bit of an OW moment but really not bad. I’ve had far more painful dental work and it didn’t hold a candle to the time I had a needle between my toes for anesthesia (OMG i donkey kicked the poor person and screamed so loud the front desk person had to check on me!).
Anonymous
I had one and it was very painful. Hopefully that is not the case for you.
Seafinch
I am having one on Thursday for recurrent pregnancy loss. I wasn’t expecting anything but the HSGs don’t bother me.
Anon
I don’t usually comment on the clothing picks, but this blouse is gorgeous. I love silk charmeuse. Wish I had an opportunity to wear something like this (and the budget for it).
Anonymous
Budget aside, this seems like a pretty versatile blouse to me.
Anon
I have a blouse in a poly blend that is these colors, without the high neck, and I wear it a lot. It’s a beautiful color!
Anonymous
Can anyone recommend a fee based independent financial planner in NoVA? I had saved someone’s rec on here for Maura Schauss but I finally reached out and she charges $5k and that seems like way more than what I’m looking for. Thanks!
CDA
Ben at Entelechy
Anonymous
Happy day! I noticed that Lands End tankini tops come in petite, which I need. This was a fashion struggle (live in SEUS and our outdoor Y pool saved our sanity last summer. But here is another fashion decision: when do you need tummy control bottoms vs just sizing up? Is one less likely to muffin-top you? I generally wear a rashguard anyway. I am very flat chested, so my tummy seems to be more prominent in my profile than I’d like (but is not lumpy/squishy (and may be fibroids, getting checked for that); my lumpy-squishiest are all thigh-butt related. I just need to put an order in the cart b/c if I don’t, I will be in things I should have tossed last summer as too small (FWIW, LE swim stuff is excellent and mine has lasted 8+ years of rough use). I will also say that LE swim is really dedicated to giving many options (maybe more than I need) to women of a great range of sizes and shapes.
Anonymous
No one needs a tummy control bathing suit. If you want one, go for it. Idk how you expect anyone to answer this, you’ll have to try it on and see if you like it!
Anon
I technically do need compression wear in warm weather, but therefore get one piece suits.
Cat
I think LE regular swim bottoms are fine for feeling ‘secure’ in the tummy area. I purchase one size bigger than my jeans size for a snug but not muffin-inducing fit.
The strapless tankini top might be great for you. It runs a bit small in the chest and the ruching throughout the torso helps with the snug & ‘tucked in’ type feeling.
Anon
I just shuddered at the thought of a strapless swimsuit . . . at the thought of any swimsuit . . . at the thought of myself in any swimsuit, much less a strapless one. YMMV.
Cat
Why? If you’re not chasing kids around, playing water polo, or very large of bosom… they stay up perfectly well and you never have to worry about tan lines!
Another Anon
I feel like it is very dependent on your body type. It would never work for me. I have tried on many.
Cat
@Another Anon- fair, but based on the OP’s description of her body type, I think it could work well for her.
Mille blouse review
As a flat chested woman who is also straight down the side… no it doesn’t stay up. It just slides down. I can’t do strapless bras, strapless dress, strapless anything without adjusting all the time.
anon
yeah, I wear almost exclusively bandeau style bikinis! I have one or two bathing suits with straps for days I know I’ll be active (surfing or and slammo or something), but mostly wear strapless!
Anon
You brought back a memory of my super stylish 1980s strapless one piece when I was a teenager. I went to a water slide park with a group of friends and went down one slide head first on my tummy. It was only after I stood up in the splash pool that I realized my suit was down around my waist.
Insert blushing emoji.
Anon
Just order different things and try them – this goes for shoes for hiking and tankinis and anything else.
anan
+1 this is what I did when I bought a LE bikini last year. I found that I had to try several combinations of styles and sizes to find something that worked.
I also opted for two bottoms- the shorts and the high waisted ones and I found them both good options for minimizing my belly.
Anon
My daughter had a Lands End suit in a child’s size that was literally left outside in the elements for 2 YEARS (thought it was lost) and after a wash it was good as new. The elastic was still stretchy.
Anonymous
I would not do tummy control bottoms unless they are very high-waisted, belly button level or higher. To avoid muffin top you need a soft, stretchy fabric, which is the antithesis of “control” fabric.
Anon
This is actually super-helpful (as is the one below). Picking my poison, although I think if the waist is high enough (like Athleta high-waisted leggings), the muffin top doesn’t happen.
Anonymous
Exactly. If you get up to ribcage height, there isn’t as much soft flesh there to muffin at the top.
Anon
On bottoms;
1) a style that holds in your tummy
2) a style that doesn’t give you a squishy ring of flesh around the top
Pick one.
Cat
To the OP from the weekend thread (wants a promotion at Current Co, debating using an offer from elsewhere to try to leverage a counteroffer)- other things to consider. Look at Ask a Manager for others in this situation too.
– whether the $5k extra at New Co is worth having to “start over” with goodwill & reputation.
– whether New Co has a good reputation (since you are debating using it as a stepping stone. People who have left – where do they go?)
– (in deciding whether to tell Current Co about the offer) is that even if it works as desired, they’ll see you as someone who is willing to go, which might make your tenure in the new role less stable than you’d want.
Anon
Oof, yeah, using your offer to get a counteroffer can be a really bad idea. If you stay they basically have permission to let you go whenever they want.
Another Anon
I disagree – asking for a match is a very common thing to do. If you work for a big company it seems like an expected thing even – it would be weird to never interview elsewhere if you’re an ambitious person. I have done it multiple times and it’s always worked out fine. If you think an employer would try to fire you for doing so then yeah you’d want to get out asap but in the US employers do not expect people to work for them for life.
Anonymous
It’s very know your office. In every law firm I’ve worked for, having another offer is pretty much a death knell. Better to leave and come back than try to leverage another offer.
Anon
It’s know-your-field as well. Jumping around every couple of years in tech is SOP, so a long tenure at one position can make you look outdated or “difficult”.
Friday
IANAL but I have never seen this work for any of my colleagues. Each time someone said “Hey a competitor offered me X.” the response was “We hope you enjoy your new position with competitor.”
Huh?
I did exactly this and got like 30% more at Current Co (match + 5% of New Co’s offer). I still left Current Co about a year later – turns out no amount of money fixes a dysfunctional workplace, go figure. I wasn’t certain Current Co would counter, so I was prepared to stay either way. New Co wasn’t the right job for me but the offer was right to play chess with them. I was a very valuable team member at Current Co and they took the bait.
I didn’t read the weekend thread but all this to say is… this is very common in many industries (I’m in finance).
Anonymous
I’d also look at benefits very carefully. Are you giving up 401k vesting for the switch? Will healthcare be different? Any other factors? My most recent switch wasn’t that different in salary but was hugely different in medical coverage and had profit sharing at a low percentage—has amounted to about another 17k or more onto salary every year on top of what I negotiated in pay and makes me wish I had left old place much, much sooner.
Anonymous
Home buying question in VHCOLA.
Apartments in our preferred neighborhood are 30% of take home pay including mortgage, taxes, insurance, condo fees.
There are apartments near our preferred area that are 25% of take home pay, but typically are 300-400 square feet smaller and have one child unfriendly feature – walk up, not great public schools, etc.
No debt, no kids (1-3 years away), no car, take home is after fully funding 401k. Combined salary is mid six figures. 20% down payment is about 1/3 of our existing assets.
We are considering buying in the higher range which feels like it has long term potential and financially fine (30% house, 35% expenses, 35% savings). I’m used to saving more, and I’m worried I’m letting my emotions get in the way as I’ve had a rough few years personally and buying a home I love feels like a nice step forward.
Thoughts? WWYD?
Anonymous
I think you’re creating a problem where none exists. 30% sounds fine and completely doable for you and your budget. Congrats on having plenty of money and being able to save a truly dramatic amount of it and still afford to buy the home you want.
Anon
+1
You are in a better position than 99% of the US.
Anon
If you think you are having kids in 1-3 years, and the cheaper apartments are truly kid un-kid friendly, the higher cost one seems like a no brainer. Keep in mind that in a VHCOLA the closing costs on either side of a transaction are no. joke. so factor that into your math if you think you’d truly have to move from the cheaper one quicker.
The not-great-public-school thing could probably be overlooked for a little bit (it will be years before that comes to a head for you) but the walk up with a very little kid or two would be a very immediate issue depending on how high up you are (although I’m sure there are those on here that have done that?). There’s also the idea in most of the country that the value of a home in a good public school will hold up better, but honestly I’m in a VVHCOL area and in the otherwise desirable parts of the urban areas where I am I’ve observed it doesn’t always make as much of a difference as you would think.
Anonymous
Is that mid six figure income what you expect to make until you’re house is paid off?
Asking only bc DH and I bought our current house when our HHI was $550k, and when our realtor found she thought we were nuts not to buy something bigger. Five years later, I’m working part time and DH switched jobs. Our HHI is $300k. Our house is still comfortably in our budget.
We weren’t planning to take this kind of paycut, and I never thought I’d be a part timer, but we also were not planning on 4 kids (surprise! The last one was twins!) or owning a minivan. DH switched jobs to be closer to home and avoid a miserable commute that prekids was no big deal. Life is funny.
Anon
This. I only have 2 kids, but one requires some developmental therapy that one has to drive to (on top of regular kid stuff, summer camps, swimming lessons, etc.). I couldn’t find any good help but FT on-the-books help (back when there were au pairs and local college kids, finding a good driving nanny for 20 hours a week was something we so yearned for and never found in a stable way you could plan your life around), so I am muddling through on a flexible schedule. FT on-the-books help would have been about what my house payment was, give or take, depending on downpayment and what exactly we had bought.
Anon
“Asking only bc DH and I bought our current house when our HHI was $550k, and when our realtor found she thought we were nuts not to buy something bigger.”
As I’ve said here before, your realtor (and mortgage broker) do not care if you work yourself to death in a job you hate, cannot save for retirement, or do not fund your kids’ college educations, so long as you can close the sale and pay the mortgage, or, barring that, sell the house for more than the cost of the mortgage if you need to downsize. YOU are the one who decides what contingencies you have.
Specific to the OP: unless there is a reason to think that you cannot continue to earn the current salary and you want kids, get the place that works for kids. 30% of your take-home income after fully funding a 401k, with assets totalling 60% of your house costs, sounds very doable.
No Face
Amen to your middle paragraph! The house we purchased was about 40% of what we could have “afforded.” (LCOL) I have never regretted it. It looks like my husband and I will both dial WAY back in a couple of years, and that would not be possible if we were housepoor.
LaurenB
What the realtor thinks is apropos of nothing. His/her paycheck depends on the size of your purchase.
Cat
If it’s a condo don’t forget about the dreaded special assessments -especially in an older building. We experienced one that was about 2 years’ worth of monthly condo fees, and thankfully sold before the next two came along. Would suggest investigating the fee history (how much have they gone up each year) and how recent any significant maintenance on the building was done (roof? HVAC? Plumbing? Windows?)
I agree with the above to factor in one of you experiencing a layoff or lower income. Like the commenter above, our realtor was… kind of annoyed with us that we didn’t want to spend 30% of our joint income. “But look at the great houses you can afford!” Right, but then we’re the ones that have the golden handcuffs to Biglaw, not you, dude.
BB
How does that work with giant special assessments like that? Like do they expect you to pay it off immediately in a single lump sum? I’ve owned condos for the last 6 years, but one had a big assessment before we bought it (so I didn’t ask) and the current one is a new building so unlikely to have any soon. I consider myself very financially stable with cushion, but even I would have to do some serious planning to be dropping 2 years of condo fees (~$30K in my old building – would take out most of my cash savings).
Cat
What they can impose (and the associated process) depends on your condo association bylaws etc.
In our building they gave you three options – upfront, 12 monthly installments, or 24 monthly installments, but I think they charged (reasonable) interest on the latter two options.
Anonymous
Personally, I want my forever home to be a sfh, probably in the burbs. So, if I were 1 to 3 years away from kids, I would buy the less expensive apartment in the not awesome school district with the intention of moving before the kid starts public school and hopefully renting out the apartment. Then I would save aggressively for a dp on the forever home to be purchased in 5-8 years. But if this is your forever home then go for it now!
Anonymous
Yeah, I don’t really think you live in a very high cost of living area if you can afford places on 30%. Very high cost of living areas are like 50 and 60%.
Anonymous
It sounds to me like they just have a very high HHI and modest expenses (probably lots of perks at work).
Anon
? This is kind of an arbitrary statement. When she says they make combined mid six figures, I assume around $500K? Take out taxes and max 401K for each person, calculate 30%, back into the mortgage, then the house value assuming 20% down…you’re talking low to mid $1-2 million range for an apartment. Assuming my math’s right. That’s VHCOL to me…
Anonymous
OP – got distracted so didn’t respond this morning. But yes, exactly right. NYC, ~500K, looking at 1.6-2.1M. Formerly BigLaw, lived on an in house salary to pay off loans + save money with excess, left for an in house gig with better hours. Spouse transitioned into a new, much higher paying career so our combined salary has climbed back up to what it was when I was in BigLaw and will stay similar in the future. Spouse has a very stable job. I feel good about my ongoing employment due to my niche expertise.
Ultimately because we intentionally lived under our income level for many years I think I’m balking a bit at sticker price, even though this was our plan all along.
Anon
It depends on your situation but 30% of your take home pay seems very affordable. Also it’s 30% now but will it be 30% later? Maybe not if you have a big law job and plan to leave, but even if you have a boring corporate job eventually inflation will cause the price of everything (including your salary) to rise while your housing costs stay mostly the same.
Anonymous
300-400 square feet larger plus better features for just 5% more of take-home seems like a good tradeoff. It’s not as if you are living paycheck to paycheck.
Anon
Assuming you expect your household income to stay stable or increase and that’s sustainable with children, I’d go for the more child-friendly option.
I’d also look at the cost of the childcare you want/need and make sure that it’s affordable along with your housing costs, either through extra savings before kids or cash flow post-kids. In my VVHCOL area, high quality childcare is very costly and with two parent big law hours, you’d need daycare + nanny or two nannies.
Anon
+1 mm. This should definitely be a major line item in your budget when figuring this all out.
Anon
other than donating money, which we can’t do bc of DH’s job, what are some things we can do to continue to support democrats, or supporting democrats is not even my primary goal – i am just livid that so few republicans voted to remove Marjorie Taylor Greene from her committee assignments. we should not conspiracy theorists in office, who support groups like QAnon and say things that incite/support violence. while I did not support them at the time, i miss sane republicans, like the Bush family. On a related note, given that there are so many people in this country who support QAnon ideas and other conspiracy theories – what can we do to change their minds or is that a lost cause?
Anon
QAnon is a cult, but fewer than 10% of Americans believe in it. On the one hand, that’s a huge number, on the other hand, it’s extroardinarily difficult to deprogram people from a cult. My wish is that the Democrats pass absolutely as much as they can in the next two years (which won’t be nearly as much as I hope due to Manchin and Sinema).
Anon
Way more people are MAGA than QAnon, but it’s bit of a spectrum. A lot of MAGA people will tell you they aren’t QAnon or look down on QAnoners, but if you listen to what they have to say, it’s a lot of the same beliefs. This is what I’ve experienced among people I know; the influence of QAnon goes way, way beyond the people who identify with it.
Nesprin
It’s worth noting that the nutty end of the right wing is essentially inseparable from the right wing at this point. Take a look at the twitter connections- they’re horrifying.
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-00257-y
No Problem
Yeah my uncle is all MAGA right wing conspiracy and has been for years (long before Trump was a thing), and it’s only gotten worse in the last couple years. Climate change is a hoax, we should be taking hydroxycloroquine, vaccines are bad for you (refused to go to his appt for the covid shot), etc. He even had a Y2K stockpile back in the day! But I’d actually be surprised if he buys into the QAnon nonsense because it’s just so far out there. It doesn’t matter what you say to him, he’s going to believe what he reads on Breitbart before he believes, like, a doctor, about anything medical.
Anonymous
Support organizations like Stacy Abrams runs to help register more voters who have traditionally been denied the right to vote.
Mrs. Jones
Find and support groups and candidates that work against voter suppression.
Anon
Sane Republicans like the Bush family? AYFKM? We all remember “No blood for oil” and “BusHitler.” We all remember when Mitt Romney wanted to give people cancer. Having relentlessly smeared the good names of those men when they were in office or running for office, no conservative gives a crap about what you or any other Democrat thinks of MTG.
Anon
Cool story, Anon at ten thirteen.
PolyD
Right? Like when John Kerry’s service was smeared, and Max Cleland’s… oh, wait.
Anonymous
I remember “no blood for oil” in response to the Iraq war, but the others were not a thing at the time. The right loves to trump up lies about what the left is saying. And they call us the snowflakes.
Anonymous
Agreed. “BusHitler” was literally not a thing.
Anon
Yeah I’m a very politically involved leftie and I don’t remember BusHitler. I can’t even tell you what that’s about.
I also notice today’s Republicans can’t really defend anything (largely because it’s indefensible) so they just switch to Whataboutism immediately.
When you have to bring up things from literally decades ago, you’re really, really stretching. How about trying critical thought independent of party and see if January 6 sits right with you.
LaurenB
And unless you are a conservative who immediately disassociated yourself from Trump in 2016 and held to that position, I don’t care what you have to say either. Anyone with any brains whatsoever knew that Trump was a Bad Man in 2016 — we just were surprised by the fact that he was even more immensely Very Bad than we ever dreamed.
Curious
This is behind a paywall but talks about organizations working to deprogram extremists:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/02/05/desperate-families-are-seeking-groups-that-deprogram-extremists/?utm_source=pocket-newtab
Anonymous
I’m looking for a fun gift to send my sister in Asheville on/around Valentine’s Day. Ideas? Mid 30s, food is ok, healthy would be better but a treat is fine (as long as it isn’t like, a giant box of candy) no alcohol.
She’s been mildly watching what she eats so I don’t want to deliver her a giant cheesecake or anything ;). She lives alone with her dog.
Anonymous
I would love some fun skincare. Go on Peach Slices and pick out fun masks and hand lotion.
Anonymous
I love that, and that’s what she got for the holidays from me. Would it be too much/too soon?
Anonymous
Not for me! The Lavender Milk Sleeping Mask is particularly lovely.
Anon
For me it would be too soon. Get her something different.
anon
In Asheville last summer I found a new company called Element Tree Essentials (etecandles dot com) that makes candles and solid perfumes. I really like the stuff I bought. Also, beer delivery!
BeenThatGuy
If you’re looking for a local brewery, I’d recommend Wicked Weed. Yes, it’s a brewery not a dispensary. It’s free delivery if your sister is within 10 miles of the downtown location.
Anonymous
Cuddle clones socks with dog’s picture. (They’re great socks, too)
Anon
A gift certificate for the Grove Park Inn spa.
SSJD
A Spibelt (useful for dog walks) and some nice socks. I sent my sister this package last summer (out of the blue), and she loved it. I think nice running socks or wool hiking socks are a great gift because they are not so expensive, but they feel like a splurge I wouldn’t buy myself.
If you know she is watching what she eats, I advise that you send no food treats at all (including no beer).
Marie
Soma is running a sale on pajama sets. I got a couple of the cool nights ones off a recommendation here on Black Friday and they are really soft. I love getting comfy items like that or a really soft new throw blanket as gifts.
Anon
Ha, speaking of New York Times clickbait (from the discussion the other day): “I’m 39 and Healthy. And I Already Got the Shot.”
Not going to give them the satisfaction of clicking, but it looks like it’s about an educator, who I think most of us would agree should be prioritized for a shot. I think that is such a toxic headline in this day and age. What are other Times readers doing for daily news? I need to take the plunge and switch to something different, but it’s been kind of hard to break the habit. I’m thinking maybe the Guardian? I know others like the Skimm, but that’s less appealing and I would love your recs for a good national daily read.
Cat
I subscribe to the NYT and Economist morning email digests.
Curious
+1 these are good.
Anonymous
I have been finding myself reading/listening to NPR along with my local paper (which does a pretty good job of sourcing national stories from reputable papers).
With regards to the second item: I have been told that I’m technically eligible for the vaccine as I am a foster parent (it’s under an umbrella description, not specifically lined out). Often, I would say that I absolutely have been at higher risk – many of the parents I am working with are living in jails or congregate housing situations (e.g., rehab or halfway houses) with children who are exposed to high risk settings like visitation centers.
However. Right now, I don’t have the same contacts I normally would. I’m a healthy woman in her 30’s with no comorbidities. I also have a job that is not on the list, but is visible enough that it could potentially look to an outsider like I am inappropriately jumping the line using some access that I have. I also can’t morally take the shot when I know that many people for whom this is likely a life and death matter can’t get the shot. When my number comes up for my ‘larger’ group, I will 100% be getting my shot, but just sharing my personal (not hypothetical) choice.
Anonymous
I think it’s good that you’re thinking about this stuff. One of my best friends told me that her 99-year-old grandmother, who recently had COVID (a very mild case, thankfully) and who lost her husband of over 75 years last year got the shot a mere 2 weeks after recovering from COVID. I think it’s 100% correct that older people should be prioritized overall, but if I were THAT old, I’m pretty sure I would decline to be in Group 1A – even if I hadn’t just recovered from COVID. Her grandma is also still socializing like she always has, which makes me wonder why she even really wanted the vaccine since she’s just not that concerned about COVID at all. At least her getting it will protect the home health workers from her, though.
Anonymous
This isn’t a dig at you but I really hate the mixed messages we’re getting about the vaccine. Everyone should get the vaccine, but also, there’s a shortage so if you’re not that needy then don’t get the vaccine or else you’re literally murdering grandma!
It’s the same damned if you do, damned if you don’t messaging we’ve gotten this whole time. Get your groceries delivered to reduce the number of people in the store, but also, how dare you force a delivery person to endure risky conditions so you can stay safe you classist A. It’s so exhausting.
Anon
Not the Anonymous above. I fully plan on getting the vaccine once we are in the “open” stage in my state. I’m healthy, 30s, working from home. Let everyone else who really needs it get it now, without me and people like me taking scarce appointment times. Once it’s open and the initial rush has died down, I will get it. This isn’t “damned if you do, damned if you don’t;” it’s basic common sense.
Anonymous
No, it is not common sense to postpone, quite the opposite:
1. Once the vial is open all doses must be used or discarded within a few hours. If the facility doesn’t have a full appointment schedule of exactly the right number of people then doses are getting wasted. So it is not the case that you postponing means someone else gets “your” dose.
2. Public health officials calculated the phases for a reason. If you belong in phase 1 but you wait til phase 2 then you are skewing those numbers and making it harder to efficiently deploy the vaccine. You are also contributing to the bottleneck that’s going to happen when it opens to everyone.
3. People who are on the fence about the vaccine will use this as an excuse to not get it. Everyone who can get it should so they’re setting a good example.
Anon
1. Our appointment blocks fill up in a matter of hours. High risk people struggle to find an open slot to get the vaccine. I am in my slot because of my profession (legal), which is put there because of judges, trial attorneys, stenographers, and other people who need to be meeting in person for the administration of justice, not so some WFH lawyer for a corporation can jump the line.
2. See #1.
3. See #1.
Anonymous
Oh, wow. I didn’t realize that states were giving priority to the legal profession outside of court personnel and maybe DAs, PDs, and the like. That is awful. You are right. You should not sign up now unless they are literally begging for people to take expiring shots.
Anon
In my state, legal is in the same phase as healthcare, postal workers, grocery store workers, wastewater and water personnel, and people with the high risk conditions or who are over 60. We are joined by media, finance, and “communication” industries.
I’m sitting my butt at home until the people with Down Syndrome and COPD get their shots… to serve as a good example to the work from home types who think that they should get a vaccine before some 68 year old with sickle cell anemia.
Anonymous
My DH works with those same high risk groups and is getting vaccinated by his employer this month. I’d encourage you to get vaccinated too, rates of covid in those populations are staggeringly high and it’s dangerous to interact with them.
Panda Bear
I usually stick to NPR – a combination of reading articles the website, and listening to my local station on the radio, and NPR’s podcasts (especially Up First, a short daily one that covers the big headlines).
anon
For something that’s like The Skimm, I like CNN”s 5 Things. I listen to NPR’s Up First every morning. For newspapers, I like the Washington Post and my local paper (major city, so lots of national news too). I know a lot of people like to read the BBC’s coverage of the US news.
anonymous
I’ve been listening to NPR.
The click-baity headlines have been bothering me for a while too.
Anon
I’m the poster that wrote in about a medical facility trying to figure out if the board was included. I wanted to update that it turned out the whole thing was a giant misunderstanding. Not sure if I even still have the info right but here’s what I understand to have happened. Each facility holds its own annual flu shot clinic for staff and volunteers and that does include the board. They order the shots through some state program and provide the state number of flu shots they need.
Front line health care workers got the COVID vaccine at an on-site clinic. In estimating the number of vaccines they needed for “all other health care workers” the state had taken the flu shot number from the prior year and subtracted out the workers that already received it from the on-site clinic. The disconnect came from whether there would be another on-site clinic for the remaining health-care workers, based on the number that had been provided to the state the prior year for the flu shot (which included the board) or if the remaining health care workers were just part of the state’s general system where they would be scheduling shots. They didn’t want any going to waste if the board was already in the count for an on-site clinic but that’s not what was happening at all. Further, once they realized this was all just to estimate the number of vaccines the state needed to plan for this group, everyone agreed the board wasn’t included and it was no problem at all.
To me, it should have been obvious where ever the staff was getting their vaccine that the prior year’s flu shot numbers had to be just an estimate as there would be more or less staff each year based on normal attrition.
Anyway, it all worked out and I’m happy to report that none of the facilities that were part of the meeting are trying to get their board vaccinated.
Anonymous
Just want to say that I think teachers should be prioritized for vaccination but only after seniors. Where I am, the supply cannot handle both populations competing at this point. Maybe other places are different.
anon
Ha, I was actually a good college friend of the person who wrote that essay – we were in the same honors creative writing program – so I read it, and beyond the clickbait headline, it’s just kind of pointless. Basically, she’s a college professor. In her state she’s allowed to get the shot now. She got the shot. She shares her deep thoughts about having gotten the shot. What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown? I’m not sure.
The WSJ is my go-to these days, with a side order of the Financial Times.
Anon
Exactly – it’s a dramatic headline with no real point behind the article.
Anon
Washington Post
Anon
someone on here i think mentioned that they ordered philly cheese steaks from goldbelly. were they good? i’m thinking far in advance, but my father’s 50th college reunion is coming up in May and he went to school in Philly. he’s never missed a reunion and I’m sad for him that it is virtual this year. fortunately for him, some of his college friends live close by and they will all be vaccinated by then (my dad already is fully vaccinated) and are all on the more cautious side of the spectrum, so i was thinking of sending some for them to eat while participating in their virtual reunion. but i definitely don’t want to send if they are gross.
Anon
As a native Philadelphian, they’re probably going to be terrible. I’d look for other Philly foods instead – Tastycake, soft pretzels, wooder ice. You can probably get the actual thing or a good enough dupe.
Cat
I do know someone who ordered Jim’s as a Xmas gift (as someone who doesn’t think either Pat’s or Jim’s is that great, YMMV….) – they were happy with the order. But they probably hadn’t had a cheesesteak in 5 years so maybe anything would taste OK at that point? It is super expensive for what it is – like $100 for 4!
Anon
Who’s Jim? Do you mean Geno’s?
Cat
https://jimssouthstreet.com/
I don’t really like any of the South St cheesesteak shops – Geno’s included and I was writing too fast above – but Jim’s has a loyal following too.
Cat
wow I need my Philly card revoked today – not trying to imply that Pat’s and Geno’s are on South, just mentally categorizing them with “tourist trap cheesesteak spots.”
Anon
Jim’s is better than Pats/Genos but still not a respectable choice.
Senior Attorney
That was me, I think. I wouldn’t say they were gross, but they were more in the “fun and novelty” category than in the “oh this is delicious” category, if you know what I mean, but overall I would say thumbs up on the idea!
Anon
I don’t have experience with Goldbelly. Katz NY does a great job with mail delivered pastrami sandwich “kits,” so I know the general concept can work.
Anon
If you’re looking for a “uncommon and from that area” food to send elsewhere, I can confirm from personal experience that Amish shoofly pie ships well. I realize that isn’t quintessentially Philly, but it’s somewhat nearby.
Annony
You could just ship him some Amoroso rolls, a packet of Steak-Ummms and jar of Cheese-Whiz (or some provolone, if that’s how he rolls). They’re super easy to make yourself.
LaurenB
I gotta tell you, I grew up in Philly, are my share of cheesesteaks and hoagies and Tastykakes, and never heard of putting Cheez Whiz on cheesesteaks. It was always provolone. But I grew up nowhere near South Philly.
Annony
It sounds really gross but it actually melts in to kind of a sauce-y consistency that ends up being really delicious. You definitely have to do the “lean over” to eat it, though.
Anon
American cheese forever!
But, real American cheese (you get it sliced from the deli, it’s white with very tiny air bubble holes in it), not the Kraft trash which I learned in college is what American cheese is most places
FP
I ordered Pat’s from Goldbelly for my husband when we missed his law school reunion in Philly because I had a baby. :) Was it as good as a fresh one? OMG No. Was it fun to have them and drink Yuenglings and miss Philly? Yes! They were not inedible and I would order again.
Anonamoose
We are looking to upgrade our current decade-old car (Nissan Rogue) with something new to us (new or pre-owned). We love the size of a small SUV but want something a little more lux, but not too lux (this is a city car that will get dinged up and worn). The biggest features we want are buttons to set each driver’s seat/mirror placement (since this car frequently has two drivers) and something that drives a bit smoother than the Rogue. We noticed this most in driving rentals and family members cars. Our Rogue is noisy on the freeway and you have to be much more delicate on the breaks to avoid everyone lunging forward. I’m so out of the car game that I have no idea if these are just older model things that aren’t an issue now or if this is where you should start looking at cars geared to luxury/smoother riding. Last time we test drove a bunch of cars to figure out what we liked, but I would like to avoid that as much as possible in COVID times. So far we’re looking at a big range–Subarus, Volvos, Volkswagens, Hondas, Toyotas, Lexuses and Audis. Would love to hear about any cars you’ve liked and if possible why you like them! TIA!
Anon
For city cars, our friends very much vote with their cars for the Highlander these days. It seems not-too-big and yet does the job. I have a minivan (lower threshold) but do not need true off-road capability (4WD and higher clearance) more than 4-6 times per year (vs have doggo who likes lower step-in and my kids don’t ding other cars b/c of sliding doors). If my Odyssey and the Highlander had a baby, I’d seriously consider it.
I see a lot of Volvos as a second choice, but had thought they were spendier and perhaps not as reliable/cheap to repair as a Highlander.
Anon
I recently purchased a Lincoln Corsair Reserve and I love it. I was also looking for a small SUV, and was considering the Rogue but wanted something a little nicer. The Corsair is a great size and it is SO quiet compared to my last car (Honda Pilot). I would definitely recommend.
Anon
I should have added, it also allows you to preset mirrors and seats for up to three drivers.
January
My husband drives a 2018 Rogue and I have not noticed the issues you mentioned here. We have taken some long road trips in it.
Panda Bear
We had a Subaru outback for a couple years – it was fine. Two years ago we switched to a Volvo v60. Huuuuge difference in terms of noisiness and overall comfort, and the Volvo handles so much better.
Anonymous
Acura. MDX or RDX depending on how big you want to go. It feels so much more high end than it’s Honda Pilot sibling but doesn’t cost as much as a Lexus or Infiniti Etc.
Anonymous
Volvo XC40. We are loyal Volvo drivers (DH had major accident a few years ago in which he was driving a Volvo and he was the only one to walk away with just a few bruises and the Volvo took the brunt of the accident). It has every feature and it is very comfortable for long trips. Quite smooth drive. It has required very little maintenance. We have no complaints.
broken toe
+1 on the safety angle. And if you want to go a little bigger, there’s the XC60 or supersize to the XC90 (what I drive because of 2 big dogs and a cabin). Love, love, love.
Anon
Concur on Volvo. You cannot understand how amazing they are until you own one.
Anon
Counterpoint: I love the safety features of the XC40 but after almost 3 years of driving I’m ready to trade in. The climate control is so difficult to use and very loud when running. I liked it a lot at first but now those things are really bugging me and I can’t wait to say goodbye (it’s a lease, up soon).
Anonymous
This might be an issue with yours. Climate control on ours is easy to use and it is super quiet.
Anon
The noise might be unique to ours but the design in the XC40 is that you need multiple clicks on the tablet to control it. Our other car has a simple knob and after driving that I cannot stand the volvo interface. It didn’t bother me at first but in the winter especially it’s such a nuisance. My friend who has one is finding the same — she loved it at first but it definitely becomes more an issue in bad weather. I wanted to love this car so much — and I love the look of it. But I don’t.
Anon
I’m not the OP, but also in the market for a car like what she is describing and prioritizing safety as the most critical decision factor. I have always thought of Volvos as being the safest and would like to be able to justify buying one :-), but when I look at the IIHS ratings and other safety ratings Volvos don’t do well. I want them to be better than the ratings are – can you help me marry the data and my perception to understand when Volvos standout on safety?
broken toe
Not sure what you are looking at but all three Volvos are top safety + picks for 2020:
https://www.iihs.org/ratings/vehicle/volvo/xc90-4-door-suv/2021
https://www.iihs.org/ratings/vehicle/volvo/xc60-4-door-suv/2021
https://www.iihs.org/ratings/vehicle/volvo/xc40-4-door-suv/2021
Transportation safety is the field I’ve worked in for decades. It’s the main reason why I drive Volvos.
Anon at 11:46
Thank you! Don’t know how I missed that.
Anon
Someone else please elaborate, or correct me if I’m wrong:
IIHS tests are done in a very standard manner: front-end crash (car travels directly perpendicular to a wall), t-bone (perfect 90 degree angle), etc. They need to do this to effectively compare each car. In the real world, however, crashes do not happen like that. Volvo focuses on having cars that keep the occupants safe during real-world crashes, with the high IIHS safety ratings as a byproduct of that. (There were several years in which the Volvo 240 had zero vehicle deaths, just as one data point of how safe they are.) Other car manufacturers design for the tests, not the road; this gives them higher crash ratings but lower real world safety.
broken toe
Not sure if your thoughts are the reason behind the differences, but Volvo has been designing for safety long before safety was a selling point. It’s really in the vehicle DNA. It’s only in more recent years that they started adding all the bells and whistles that make it more of a luxury vehicle as well. I’m a Volvo nerd, but on my bucket list is picking up my next Volvo in Sweden and doing the Volvo factory tour!
Anon
I have a Volvo wagon (xc70) which I love. I feel very safe in it. I’ve had it stop for me when I was a bit late to hit the brakes myself. Amazing.
I’ve had an issue with the local dealership but that’s local and shouldn’t color your opinion. Other than that, owning it has been a pleasure.
Anon
Broken toe, I’m confused by your comment. I referenced the 240, which was produced from 1974 to 1993, as having had zero vehicle deaths. Why would you think that I am not aware of the safety record of older Volvos, or think that safety is something that came along with the P2s?
(For reference, I first learned to drive on a Volvo in 1997, and since then, have logged almost a half million miles behind the wheel of various Volvos and done so across 36 states.)
anon a mouse
We are really happy with our Subaru Forester and at least the top trim package has the driver-setting feature you want. I also love how big the sunroof is — it really makes a difference. Friends have the Lexus SUV and really like it, too.
Anon
I have a 2021 Rogue (2016 Rogue prior to that) and I don’t have any issues like you have described with the older model. They completely redid the Rogues this year and they are very nice, lux without being too lux. I have an SV with a premium package, so I don’t have the memory seats, but they were available in the SL and Platinum.
A.
I don’t know about the seat and mirror piece, but you can get a pretty luxe Toyota Highlander. Based on the city parking/driving piece, I’d think about an old but best-trim model. It’s not really that big of a car and my husband used to park his in a city all the time (although our other car is a minivan so I may have a wonky sense of size here) and I find it to be a smooth ride. I love, love, loved my old Subaru Forester (2007) and also drove it/parked it in the city, but we got rid of it eventually b/c it was too small once we started having kids. I hope to go back to Subaru at some point, although it wasn’t the smoothest ride.
Anonymous
I would get an electric car. It’s a better time than ever (it won’t be long before gas cars are barely even sold anymore) and there is more choice than ever. Why not a Tesla? Seems luxurious enough and people love them.
Anonamoose
We would in a heartbeat but our condo building is considering proposals for electric car charging in the parking lot and even if the plan gets approved (it’s pricey), it’s at least 18 months out from being installed.
Another anonymous judge
Loving my new Mazda CX5. Leather interior, lots of safety features (not Volvo-level, but decent), great price. Highly recommend.
Senior Attorney
I have an Audi SQ5 and I love it. Just the right size and all the bells and whistles.
Senior Attorney
Oh, and the mirror/seat adjustment is programmed into the key fob, so it senses you approaching and adjusts for you. I love that!
Vicky Austin
Oh my gosh, that’s so simple, and yet so genius.
Horse Crazy
My Honda Accord does this when you unlock the car with either fob #1, programmed for driver #1, or fob #2, programmed for driver #2. It’s fantastic.
Travel Again
It’s cold and gross here and all I want to do is think about where I’ll go when I can travel again. What’s on your list? I’m in the SEUS and for me I want a return trip to San Diego area. Would also love to visit Colorado and Idaho. Looking more toward nature than cities right now.
Internationally: Turks & Caicos, Spain, Scotland.
What’s on your “to-go” list when we can travel safely again?
Anonymous
Croatia. London, forever and always. Scotland.
Anon
Italy, Morocco, and Argentina.
I also love San Diego and have a good friend there, so that would be top of my list as well!
Clementine
Coastal Spain
Northern California (to visit a dear friend)
Disney World
I also miss the little weekend trips to the cities in the northeast that my husband and I have always done a few times a year – NY, Boston, Philly, DC – just a long weekend on Amtrak. I really am looking forward to doing those again.
anon
I miss weekend trips so much! Mostly just go to nearby cities (NYC, Baltimore, DC, Boston, Philly) to see college friends, but I love those weekends.
anon
Domestic: Hiking trip to Wyoming and Montana; Denver; Austin (to see a friend I haven’t seen in almost 5 yeas!), Charlotte (also to see a friend)
International: Costa Rica; family trip to Ireland; and I’d LOVE to do a trip to Southeast Asia!
Sitting at home in Feb and freezing – right now I just want to go anywhere warm!!
AFT
Family trip to Ireland is on our docket for (hopefully) 2022 as well! My MIL’s grandparents came from Ireland so we’d like to visit her extended family that she’s still in touch with while she’s still up for the trip. It will be my kids’ first real international trip.
Cb
Portugal to meet my family, Amsterdam with my husband (we had plans to do ferry + cycling pre-Covid), and maybe a solo city break.
Cat
I don’t even know – but I am at the point where I understand why people were paying for those “flights to nowhere.” I miss just being excited on the plane!
Anonymous
Me too. I’d very happily do a milage run at this point.
Anon
I’d really love a trip to the Keys.
NYC for Broadway and pastrami. Disney World.
NY CPA
Since the beginning of the pandemic when those photos came out of the Grand Canal being so clear from the lack of boat traffic, I’ve had a huge desire to go to Venice when this is all over. I’m hoping I can get there before it becomes an overwhelmingly busy tourist destination again. The lack of cruise ships should likely keep that at bay for awhile.
Not that Anne, the other Anne.
London and surrounding bits of the UK. We had a trip scheduled for May 2020.
Really, though, I would be happy to go ANYWHERE at this point. I never thought I’d miss my most grueling business travel, but at this point, yes, send me to the other side of the world for two weeks and give me an itinerary where I have to think about what day it is to know what city I’m in.
Anon
So glad I live in California! When I’m finally able to get on a plane again it will have to be to see family, since it’s already been more than two years since I’ve seen my parents and siblings and I’ll have two nieces I haven’t met. Add in trips to two sets of in-laws and it will be a long time before we get to go on an actual vacation, so I’m really happy I already live somewhere beautiful.
pugsnbourbon
The last time I went to CA I walked around slack-jawed the whole time. Mountains! Ocean! Indiana is … not like that.
On a related note, we are planning an anniversary trip to the northern California or the Oregon coast.
Anon
Ooh such pretty real estate on that stretch of the coast. I hope you find a beautiful place to stay!
Anonymous
There are lots of.places I want to travel, but right now I just want to visit my parents in their new home state and take the trip to New Orleans with my boyfriend that got cancelled in April. We’re individually not that locked down, but we’ve never been anywhere more than 5 miles from home together!
Anon
To visit my family.
Bilbao, London, Paris, Copenhagen, Argentina, New Zealand.
At this stage, i’d like to go anywhere.
Anonymous
If you have Argentina&New Zealand in your list change Bilbao for Asturias or Picos de Europa in general.
(Peru for me)
oil in houston
in Europe – France, Greece
when finally able to do our 10 anniversary trip – Tahiti
and I’d love to go to Vietnam, Buenos Aires and Costa Rica …
oh, and a girls’ weekend to Las Vegas please!!
Anon
Paris. With a stop in NYC each way.
Tessa Karlov
I can’t really announce this yet irl but I got into Berkeley for an MS in environmental engineering!
Panda Bear
Congrats!
Anon
Congrats! Nice to hear good news!!!
Nesprin
Congrats!
Senior Attorney
Woo hoo! Congratulations!!
Mrs. Jones
Yay!
PNW
Well done! That can’t have been easy.
Anon
Nice! Congratulations!!
Anon
Ok, I might be super late to the party on this, but I haven’t had time to hang out here in a couple weeks, so I’m not sure if these stretchy, fashionable joggers from Costco are old news here by now. Love them! Super comfy! Bonus that they look like pants so I feel like I actually got dressed ha. AND they’re made out of recycled water bottles!! And they’re $17! What’s not to love?!
(Note – I’m 5’7 and they’re longer on me than shown on the model.)
https://www.costco.com/.product.100684215.html
A.
Thanks for the rec! Do these run large/small/TTS? I’m usually on the cusp between small and medium pants. Also, do you have black or another color, or do you know what the other colors look like? They’re not featured online. Thank you for answering all of these questions :)
Anon
The purple and green show up on my laptop (maybe if you’re on your phone they aren’t showing up?). On my screen, the purple is a wine color and the green is a grayish-olive.
I think they’re TTS. I wear a large in all my Costco clothes ? and these are no exception. I’m a 12 in pants.
Anon
Clothing items sold at Costco tend to run on the large side, in my experience.
Anon
I feel like some of their clothing runs smaller, but that may be because I’m tall. The waist on some of their leggings is lower than my waist so I need to size up.
Moonstone
I haven’t seen these before, and 28″ inseam is perfect for me. Thanks!
Anon
The Everlane half zip felted merino sweater has been like a hug during WFH. It is warm and so cozy. I bought it in 2 of the four colors and I have worn it at least 3 days per week for the past few months.
Anon
Nesting fail, was intended as a reply to low-buy below.
ANON
I am wearing these right now! Just picked them up this weekend and glad that I did. May have to get the other colors, too! For me they are TTS, I always wear a L in leggings and the L in these fit great. I’m a size 10.
Anon
Yay! I was thinking I needed the other colors too :)
anon
I’m doing a low-buy winter because my lockdown spending last year was out of control! As a result, I want to live vicariously through all of you. What’s your favorite thing you’ve bought recently that you feel has improved your life?
Cat
Insulated ankle boots (makes standing in line outside at the grocery store SO much better)!
A.
This is terrible and consumerist but a Peloton Bike+. I don’t even like working out and I’m obsessed with it.
Anonymous
A Peloton Bike is mine too. I’ve never worked out so much in my life and I love it.
OP
I can’t justify a peleton but I would looove one. I have a basic spin bike and use the peleton app and it’s great
Anonymous
+1. I am obsessed and don’t believe it’s consumerist at all. I work out 5+ days a week. So worth it.
Anon
A space heater for my home office that sits under my desk: it has fixed much of my spine and neck tension from being tense from the chill without requiring me to overheat the whole house. The heater cycles on and off to keep the temperature relatively consistent. I cannot use it when I need to speak on calls, but I keep it on constantly other than during those calls.
Panda Bear
Similar to this – an electric throw blanket that I wrap around myself while working. I am always freezing, but don’t want to crank the heat in my old, drafty house.
Curious
Simple Human cabinet pull out trash cans. Replaced a mess because we have trash, recycling, and compost here.
Anon
Ooh, I bought the SimpleHuman shower caddy pole for my shower since WFH, and I love the organizational improvement to my tub area.
Curious
Uh oh. It’s so easy to spend money there. You’re tempting me!
Another anonymous judge
I bought the medium shower caddy and it is life changing. Not a word of a lie. See also: dish rack.
NY CPA
LL Bean Wicked Good slippers. My feet are always freezing at home, especially since I don’t like wearing shoes inside the house.
Veronica Mars
+100 they are the best slipper ever.
busybee
A heated blanket
spot
LL Bean flannel lined jeans. They’re not particularly flattering (getting the boyfriend cut was probably a strategic mistake) but they are so, so warm. I have a dog and the high here yesterday was 7 F.
KB
Fleece lined hiking pants from Eddie Bauer. They are so warm I can sit on the snow. I walk shelter dogs and my own.
emeralds
I finally found a pair of joggers that doesn’t make my legs look weird: https://shop.lululemon.com/p/womens-joggers/On-the-Fly-Jogger-Lux/_/prod9610190?color=26950
I didn’t buy them, but I got a very snuggly pair of slippers for Christmas and I’ve worn them every day since then.
Senior Attorney
I got all new cast iron (some enameled, some not) Le Creuset cookware for Christmas and it’s been amazing. There’s been a learning curve but I really feel like my food is better now!
Anon
Nice! Mine are old and a little banged up, but they cook so much better than any other cookware, I always reach for them first. My LC braiser just lives on the stove because I use it for everything.
MagicUnicorn
A fancy Herman Miller desk chair for home so I am not stuck in a spare kitchen chair killing my back any more.
NY CPA
Oh yeah my SteelCase Think chair was definitely my best pandemic purchase. Even better than my slippers. 10 out of 10 would purchase again.
Anon
An inflatable doughnut pillow made of vinyl. Only six bucks at WalMart, and it made my falling-apart sciatica-ridden self capable of taking my beloved bubble baths again.
Anon
Huh, I think I might have a similar problem to you. How does the doughnut help?
I still have a hard time getting out of the tub after a bath. Yes, I feel like I’m 80, but bad back combined with bad knee is a tricky proposition.
Anon
A new deep seated sofa. Between Covid and the cold weather, I had been spending a lot of time indoors anyway so why not be more comfortable? The deep seat is a real game changer. It’s absolutely amazing for all relaxing activities – watching movies, reading, napping.
Anon
I’ve posted a couple of times about skincare. I have to say say, having a complete skincare ritual, AM and PM, and committing that time to self-care, is actually life changing. And my skin looks and feels loads better, looks way better on zoom calls, and I am getting regular compliments on it.
It seems like a small thing and compared to some of the splurges here it’s not really on the charts, but it has made a huge difference for me.
Is it Friday yet?
A Nintendo Switch – it has provided so many hours of distraction from the real world!
anonshmanon
Costco size pack of cream puffs!
Veronica Mars
Well, as I’ve descended into lockdown boredom, I’ve started writing sweet and clean, Hallmark-esque romance novels, so I’m putting together a budget to get a good cover artist so I can unleash it on the world at large (which…. this might not be the best development but I’m just leaning into it at this point). Does that count?
Anonymous
Good for you! It’s great to make the most of this time and do something creative.
Veronica Mars
Oops, nesting fail! This was for low buy above.
Anonymous
This is so cute!
AFT
I love this! You made things! Go VM!
Veronica Mars
Thank you! I may or may not have spent most of my Christmas break yelling at the TV “Why are they all set in small town Vermont? What’s with the gazebo!? How come she’s blatantly emotionally cheating on her fiancé and NO ONE CARES! I could do better than this!”
Carrots
I went to Vermont and was incredibly disappointed in the LACK of gazebos. Screw the unrealistic expectations of love – Hallmark gave me unrealistic expectations of the amount of gazebos in Vermont.
Veronica Mars
There’s this great TikTok or Youtube video going around–I can’t remember exactly but it’s this 30-something woman rolling up to Vermont and getting really dissapointed. “Was there like, a sign-in sheet that I missed?” (commenters told her to go find the Town Mayor or biggest gossip). Then she went to a Christmas tree farm and declared that she hated Christmas. It had me dying!
still not April Whittier
That’s awesome! I also finished writing my first romance novel during the quarantimes–it’s been great to have something fun to focus on.
I’m on the traditional publishing route at the moment, but if you ever want to talk about writing feel free to drop me a line at anonarette at gmail. I also did a lot of research into indie publishing before deciding to shoot my shot with trad, and I’d be happy to share resources if that would be helpful. Even if not, I’ll be rooting for you and I’m so thrilled that there are at least three Corporettes taking on the romance industry at this point!
Veronica Mars
Wohooo! I’ll take you up on that, April. I’ve thought about going the trad route, but realistically since my field is digital marketing, I think I’m playing more to my strengths marketing it myself vs. relying on a publisher. But yes, let’s share resources and I’ll be a beta reader/reviewer for you. You should get something in from my yahoo account when I get a chance.
Mrs. Jones
Yes I love it!
pugsnbourbon
That’s awesome!
Anon
Amazing!
In house
This has probably been discussed before here but my searches are failing. I’ve read some general advice online but hoping for more feedback. I’m a senior associate in a litigation specialty. I have a final round interview for an in house counsel position for my specialty in a small legal department but a relatively large company. This interview is with the general counsel. I’ve prepared for multiple rounds of interviews for this job over the last few months. I’m just not sure what else to do to really nail it in this final interview. What do I ask? What can I expect to be asked? I’ve never interviewed for any in house job before this one as I’m generally been happy at my firm and am up for partner soon (with pretty good chances according to my group). But this job cuts my commute and is in exactly my practice area. Not a lot of companies in town have a specific role for this speciality. I know they had a ton of applicants but I don’t know how many are left at this stage, and I’m getting nervous. In the earlier stages, I had few expectations and was almost just practicing interviewing.
And assuming I get the offer …. how do I gauge what the work life balance will be like? I have little kids and appreciate the flexibility of my firm schedule. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t looked to leave before.
Anonymous
Not in-house, but I have so many friends that are and with in-house positions and work-life balance, I’d say that theonly gauge is going to be what other people at that company are doing. The spectrum for in-house positions seems so large. I have friends that travel 4/5 days a week (pre-Covid) and those that never travel. Those that have the same flexibility as a firm with leaving mid-day; those who are 8-5 butt in seat, etc.
Cat
Agree with this. I would ask to talk to your peers (that report to the same person). Of course everything is harder to gauge now with WFH, but you can talk to them about typical expectations in Before Times.
On the interview, I’m guessing this is partly an overall “EQ” test. You presumably have the substantive knowledge required or you wouldn’t have gotten to this stage. But – how’s your “presence”? When asked to talk about experience or provide advice, is it concise and practical or do you tend to go down the proverbial rabbit hole? If it’s a question you don’t know the answer to, can you answer with partial confidence and what you need to do to confirm?
There may be a question like “why do you want this job” and the answer should not be “I don’t want to be partner and this looks like the best thing around.”
AFT
Hi! I was in your shoes ~3 years ago. I found that the a big focus is making sure that you’ll play well with others and be an asset to the department, so that you’ll want to focus on being a team player. There is often a perception that long-term biglaw firm attorneys are going to be too cut throat, “win at all costs” versus business minded, etc. so in getting your first job that may be a perception you’re fighting. I think this is why it’s often much easier to get in-house job #2 versus job #1. Focus on being pragmatic & team oriented. Competency in your specialty is definitely important too, but if they’ve had a lot of applicants and you’ve made it through then you’ve probably adequately established that!
Re: WLB – ask questions, particularly of your would-be peers, like “what’s your typical day like?”, “how has your work/schedule changed due to COVID?” To boss, “how do you expect you will be intersecting with this person?” Look to see when people are sending you emails/communicating with you during the process (evening/early AM may be a sign of long days). Ask about travel expectations in the beforetimes and after, and also for office (to the extent it’s known)
Anon
+1 to playing well with others and being an asset. I would make sure you can articulate the company’s mission and how your role furthers that mission.
Anon
Does anyone have any good resources for being a mentor?
Anon
To whom? What context? Work? At-risk youth?
Curious
+1 — we need to know a bit about the context of the relationship to give you the right resources!
Anon
I need to learn basic Spanish by October, but there’s absolutely no way I could do it with an app. I need something structured more like a traditional class with audio (video even!) and a workbook. Does anything like this exist?
I studied four languages growing up – three of them romance languages – so this shouldn’t be too hard, but my brain is really tied to the classroom methods I grew up with – verb conjugation charts, books, etc. Thanks!
Anon
You may want to look into Fluenz – it’s a more traditional approach.
Anon
If it’s for conversational Spanish, look into iTalki
Anonymous
A coworker just recommended Babel, which I’m considering trying as well. I’ve used Rosetta Stone in the past and found it helpful, but it sounds like it wouldn’t be the best fit for your needs.
Anon
I tried paying for Pimsleur. While the program is well designed, it’s very audio based. Which may work for some, but now that I work from home and don’t have my train commute, I cannot pay attention to audio – no audio books, podcasts, or language learning. If you still can, this one may work well for you. I had to stop it over the summer when I realized I had gotten nothing out of it since March.
I really like the “Complete Spanish Step by Step” workbook. It helped scratch that classroom-method itch that I preferred, and seeing the rules written down helped me internalize them better. (There are two pieces – Easy and Advanced – and the Complete book has both.)
Otherwise check and see if your local community college, high school, or library offers open-enrollment classes for beginner Spanish over the summer. That might help hear pronunciation and work on conversational flow.
spanish newbie
I signed up for 1:1 online/video tutoring with Simon Bolivar, a Spanish language school based in Ecuador that offers tons of classes for all different levels. I’m on the west coast so there was no time change. I LOVED it, and it was very affordable and flexible. I chose how many days/week I wanted class, and they gave me homework between lessons. There was a bit of turnover among the teachers while I was there but their approach is structured enough that I did not find that to be disruptive, and it was fun to learn from different people. The program really made me want to visit Ecuador but that got put on hold due to COVID…
I want to caveat that there are lots of regional differences in how Spanish is spoken so depending on your purpose for learning you might want to seek out options unique to your region.
Flats Only
The Great Courses has a really nice beginning Spanish series. There’s lecture style video with a professor, follow up audio glossaries for each lesson, and a .pdf workbook to download. Each lesson is about 35 – 45 mins, and there are 30 in the series. It’s much more academic feeling than duolinguo and the like.
Anonymous
I study Spanish with the Berges Institute in NY. They offer online classes now because of Covid. They offer classes as well as 1:1 tutoring. Good luck!
Anon
i’m just curious as to why you need to learn basic Spanish by October
Madrilian
Instituto Cervantes is the oficial organization that is in charge of that, they offer online courses too. Check if that work for you.
https://www.cervantes.es/lengua_y_ensenanza/aprender_espanol/cursos_aula_virtual_espanol.htm
Anon
Thank you all for the great resources! I’ll look into them ASAP. The October deadline is because we’re adopting children from South America ❤️
EM84
The best reason! Sending good vibes!
Anon
So nice! Check with your local school district. Depending on the demographics of your area, it may have a bilingual coordinator or ELL specialist. They may be able to recommend options for you that also align with the ages of the kids, and even give you some best practices so you can help the kids learn English while also preserving their home language.
Lobby-est
wow! Wishing you all the best!
Anon
You could try you local community college. Mine is doing distance foreign languages with lots of personalized instruction time.
anon
Almost one year into this WFH experiment, things are starting to catastrophically fail in my organization. Communication is non-existent or just plain falling apart, and work is either feast or famine. It’s getting really old. And I’m mostly venting, because I’m not sure what I can do to fix it, other than to be a pest and follow up incessantly. And I hesitate to do that given how sky-high my boss’ stress levels are right now. Mid-level manager problems. I’m in charge of the doers, but everyone above me is flying by the seats of their pants and expects everyone to somehow intuit what they need and want.
Moonstone
Same here. It’s really bad, and no one has the capacity to increase communication, but without it we are all failing.
anon
OP here, and this is it exactly. Everyone is truly working as hard as they can — COVID has thrown us a lot of curveballs beyond the WFH setup. And it was working OK for awhile, but everyone is maxed out. Nobody’s fault, but it’s not the easiest work environment at the moment.
Anonymous
I’m sorry to hear that. My boss hated WFH (still does), but she just made an announcement that employees who want to become remote permanently can do so. I’m so pleased that she was able to overcome her bias (which is how she described it) and see that we’re all kicking ass and doing really well during a global pandemic. She also provided us the tools we needed to do it well. Hopefully your workplace can find a way to improve too.
paula
Before I delve into this, is this more venting or are you looking for ideas for how to address it?
Switching to IUD
Tell me if I’m overthinking or underthinking this…I’m thinking of getting a hormonal IUD instead of BCP, which I’ve been taking for 20 years. I genuinely can’t see a downside to me getting the IUD, but that seems too good to be true? I am child free and had no side effects with BCP (other than having much less painful periods), which was a mixed hormone one where one of the hormones is also in Mirena, so…what am I missing here? Have I just been putting myself through the annoyance of trying to remember to take the pill every day for no reason?
Anon
If you try it and don’t like it you can always get it removed.
anon
The only downside is, prior to having children, the IUD was the most painful experience of my life. That said, I’d still do it again (and the pain was mostly gone after 2-3 days). (Working on my 3rd Mirena IUD – 1 pre kids, 2 post). I love it. YMMV, but my period went away every time on it. I preach them to all of my friends – child free or otherwise.
Anon
Well, everybody reacts differently to all the different kinds of hormonal bc, so take that into account. Nobody can tell you for sure that this will be either good or bad for you. For me, there were a lot of upsides to the IUD. Not having to remember to take a pill every day is huge! My periods never stopped completely but they were much lighter. The downsides for me were the same as BCP — it killed my s– drive and made me more depressed.
Anon
And another difference between people is how much it hurts to get inserted and removed. It was truly NBD for me, but there’s a very big spectrum of experiences for this aspect.
pugsnbourbon
I did Mirena for 10 years and had almost zero complaints. The insertion hurt like a MFer but it was brief. My periods completely stopped for several years, and when they came back they were barely a blip (~2 days of spotting). I had my tubes out this year, otherwise I would have gotten another one.
Anon
I switched to an IUD seven years ago and have never looked back. The only downside was the insertion was painful. Other than that, I’ve not had any periods since getting it and haven’t noticed any other side effects.
Anon
Yes. I took BCP for over a decade to stop awful periods (before Seasonale and its kin existed, so 13 packs per year). I’m now on my second Mirena and the difference is night and day. I got no periods on the first IUD, but I do occasionally get a 1-2 day period on this second IUD. Not sure what changed, might be perimenopause. Less moody, nothing to carry around or forget, greatly decreased incidence of ocular migraines.
A very important note that many people don’t realize is that you need to be careful with menstrual cups. They can create significant suction, so there have been cases where they’ve dislodged or pulled out IUDs. If you use a cup, make sure you are completely breaking the seal before pulling it out, and learn how to check your IUD for proper placement so you can be certain it’s not moving.
AFT
I took hormonal birth control for ~15 years before getting the Mirena and for me it has been a dream. no periods after a couple months. It is so great to really not have to think about refills, taking a pill, or when I’m due. The insertion process was unpleasant but I was back to normal the next day. I say go for it! And as noted, if you end up not liking it you can always have it pulled early.
Anon
As a note, I found the removal painless both times I had it done.
anon
You might consider, if it’s possible, doing a test run to see how your body feels now while you’re not taking BC. I was considering getting an IUD a few years ago and wasn’t dating anyone so I decided to do a little experiment just to see what things were like off BC. Like you I’d been on it for 15+ years and tolerate it really well. Turns out I have premenstrual dysphoric disorder and BC is pretty helpful at keeping me from descending into near suicidality once a month. Who knew? Other than that, I don’t think you’re missing anything that others haven’t already mentioned.
anon
I had two attempts at IUDs, both non-hormonal (Paragard) and hormonal (Mirena). For me personally, the insertion process was truly horribly painful. With Paragard, the uterine sounding (where they measure to see if the IUD will fit) was the worst part; with Mirena it was the actual insertion. My Paragard partially expelled and ended up having to be removed (in the ER bc it was a holiday weekend and my doctor’s office was close). My Mirena never stopped my period; I spotted for a year, had hair loss, and got acne, and then when I went to get it removed, the device had embedded in the wall of my uterus and the removal was awful.
The thing is, IUDs are great for most women, but part of the problem is that you can’t know in advance if you’ll be someone it works well for or not. Also, in the past the financial downside was high if it didn’t work (since they were like $700 a pop), although I think they’re covered 100% by insurance now.
Anonymous
Also child free and while I love my IUD because it comes with no periods, no pain, and minimal upkeep (two appointments every 3 years) I’m anxiously awaiting the freedom and autonomy that comes from a tubal ligation.
Anon
It depends on what you want. If you’re sure you’re never going to have kids and just want birth control I feel like a tubal ligation is the way to go. If you want to stop your periods, uterine ablation. If you want the hormonal benefits (If they are a benefit to you, they weren’t to me) then a pill, ring, IUD, implant solution.
Anonymous
There are upsides and downsides to everything. Ime the pill is annoying because of access and consistency – It can be hard to get to the doctor and pharmacy (or home to pick up your mail) at exactly the right times when you’re in biglaw and traveling a lot, and the constantly changing generic formulas drive me nuts. Among my friends who have IUDs, some have irregular bleeding that ranges from spotting to full on multi-day periods. One had it dislodge into her uterus and required surgery to remove (which could have caused sterility but didn’t thankfully). One had it fall out. Others absolutely love it and wish they’d gotten it sooner. I chose to stay on the pill despite the inconvenience but I also knew I wanted to start TTC as soon as I found someone suitable.
Anonymous
I have a non-hormonal IUD and have long, heavy periods (common). But hormonal BCP didn’t agree with me and I love not needing to remember or deal with birth control.
Breast cancer survivor
Breast cancer. The longer you are on hormonal birth control, the more likely you are to develop breast cancer. Identify other options.
kh
Not sure if this post is still live enough to warrant a reply but I’m just seeing it– I love my IUD (on my second) preach it to everyone (light to no periods, don’t have to think about it, post 2 babies insertion was nothing). I would warn though which no one else mentioned is that it definitely changed my PH/ smell/flora-fauna. I was very aware of vaginal odor (not bad but pungent) that I had never had before.It took me several months of not wearing underwear at home or at night, wiping with apple cider vinegar and plain yogurt (and several other home remedies I’m forgetting) to get balanced out again and i do wonder if i actually “fixed” it or if i just noramilized it….