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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
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Anonymous
I’m at a big firm working on a super complicated brief . . . and I just don’t get it. I feel like I’m just not getting the concepts that the partner wants in there. Simply put, I just don’t feel smart enough, and the brief keeps getting turns after turns where it still needs work. What do I do?
Woods-comma-Elle
Depends. How senior are you/how long have you worked there?
Is it getting so many turns because you’re not getting it, or because you’re not getting it *in the way the partner wants*? If this isn’t someone you’ve worked with a lot before, ask around from a friendly colleague and see if this is typical. Some people just like things a certain way, and nothing is good enough, and they change their mind every two minutes.
If you’re confident it isn’t that, and the partner isn’t totally unapproachable, then are you talking through the changes or are you just turning the doc and they are marking it up with their comments? This sounds like it warrants a discussion. Either “hey, can we talk through your comments to make sure I’m approaching this the right way” or if you have talked “hey, it seems there is something you’re looking for that I’m not getting, can we talk through what that might be”.
Of course, some people will just not take the time, and you might find that another associate can help you get your head around it but there are a lot of things that could be going on here before ‘you’re not smart enough’ is it!
Anonymous
You are smart enough. The partner is not being a good manager. Now it’s time for you to manage up.
Ask for an actual meeting to discuss the edits and what you’re going to do for the next round. Before the meeting, go through all of the comments and figure out how you think you should respond to them. Then organize those comments/responses into a meeting agenda. Try to avoid going through the draft comment-by-comment – that is tedious and you will lose partner’s focus, which means you won’t get good feedback. Try to group them in some way that makes sense – like, here’s the research items, here’s documents we’re missing, here’s facts we need from the client, etc.
In the future, before you start writing a complex brief, write a fairly detailed outline. Ask for the partner’s feedback on the outline. Schedule a strategy meeting if you can.
Fwiw I expect to have 3-4 rounds of comments with a new associate, 1-2 rounds with a more seasoned associate. There will always be at least 1 round of edits. When I hand out a research assignment, I expect to need at least 1 round of additional research. Idk what the comments are, but please don’t think that the fact you’re getting comments back means that you’re not doing your job right.
Anonymous
DO NOT GIVE UP. It’s hard. Or as my manager puts it “a high degree of difficulty”… you’re not stupid. Just keep trying, don’t give up, reward yourself for little things. Positive self-talk and whatever you can do to keep your morale up. You will make it through and be better for it!
Anonymous
You keep going. :) Review prior briefs on the topic in that case and crib from them. Also crib from prior opinions/orders. And, give up pride of authorship. It can’t be done in biglaw.
First Year Anon
Is there a senior associate you trust you can talk to to help you flush out the issues? I tell our juniors it’s okay to come and ask me ‘dumb questions’ because I know that it’s tough feeling like you have to impress when you really just need to take a step back and ask some basic questions. You are probably ‘smart enough’ to get it, you just maybe aren’t appreciating a detail that will make it all click when it is cleared up.
Anon
I think you need to distinguish between (1) you’re not doing what the partner tells you, versus (2) you’re doing what the partner tells you, but when the partner sees the result, he/she thinks of another way to look at or wants to go down a different path. The latter was frequently the case when I was an associate in Biglaw, and was just part of the process that some partners went through (for every. single. brief.) in order to get to the final version.
If you’re not understanding what the partner is asking for, is there a more senior associate who could give you guidance on the best way to work with that partner? Not sure if you’re new to that firm, but I often found it helpful to get insight to the way particular partners operated and what they look for they all have their quirks.
Good luck!
Frozen Peach
When I worked in Biglaw, I’d flip brief drafts back and forth with the partner I worked for for literally days. Sometimes we’d exchange 5 or 6 rounds in an afternoon. Don’t take this process as you not getting it. I did and looking back, now that I’ve managed junior lawyers, this is how you learn and level up. Over time you will develop an instinct for things like “this heading isn’t clear enough,” “this cite needs beefing up,” “I need to add a cite to this sentence.” But it takes years of practice. And it’s definitely painful.
I highly recommend a sign on your computer that says something to the effect of “you’re doing a freaking great job. ” Find ways to remind yourself that this is actually the hardest part of becoming a good attorney. Law school was the classroom training. Now you’re in residency and it’s brutal and hard, but it will make you strong. Take heart. This space is a really great one for venting and solace and feedback. I
Totally been there...
Take a deep breath and stop wasting ANY ENERGY AT ALL thinking you’re not smart enough. It is counterproductive and also not true.
Assuming the problem really is that you’re struggling with the actual legal concepts (rather than shifting partner expectations): Is there any way you can break down the concepts that are giving you trouble into smaller pieces? Can you take a step back and do some background reading to make sure it’s not the context that you’re missing? I totally echo the idea of talking it through with another associate if possible (whether senior to you or not). If you’re getting bogged down, walk away from your computer, get out a legal pad, and answer the question “Ok. What do I know for sure about x issue?” This will help you a) realize you already do have a lot of knowledge and b) identify what it is that is actually tripping you up.
I was an English literature major in college who later spent several years as a patent litigator in Big Law (figure that one out). I have absolutely been in your shoes. You’ve got this!
Anonymous
this is really helpful advice. I’m not the OP but do some complex litigation. I’m going to bookmark this.
Ellen
Me too. I used to be confused until the manageing partner help me write my first breif. Then, once that one was done, and the judge loved it, I have kept it, and then used it on many occasions in other cases, remembering to change all of the names and dates each time. That is the most important concept to remember. I copy and paste all the time. You can too. It works!
early 90s are back
I just saw an ad in a fashion magazine featuring an outfit of elastic-waist acid-washed denim mom jeans + matching acid-washed jacket.
Let me go get a crimping iron and do my hair and put it up in a scrunchie on the top of my head.
I feel like I worked so hard to become Selena Meyer and now it looks like Elaine Bennes is back.
C
I was going to argue with you, but then I googled Elaine Bennes (it’s been a while) and realized this look would totally be on a fashion blogger’s insta, accompanied by a #spon for a product that helped them embrace their curly hair.
https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/seinfeld-elaine-benes-fashion-05.jpg?quality=85
Elaine Bennes with a fade
To be fair, the long arc of fashion history really has bent toward justice with the “embrace your hair texture” message. Never go back. I’m not talking about crimping, it’s just letting people wear their hair the way it grows out of their heads. I don’t know Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ natural texture, but it’s probably closer to Elaine’s than Selina’s.
C
Oh I’m with you! I have hair somewhere between wavy and curly depending on the weather and the position of the stars and it’s been a journey to get past feeling like I need to straighten the life out of it every day.
I just roll my eyes when a blogger posts “this $150 shampoo let me embrace my curls!” and then goes back to their twice-weekly blow out a week later.
Elaine Bennes with a fade
Yep. I was also a slave to my flatiron. My hair was super brittle, quick to frizz (since it was so dry) and ultimately it didn’t work anyway–there was always some ugly bend or curlicue peeking out somewhere no matter how thorough I thought I was. Congrats on your personal revolution. Mine hasn’t been easy either. Honestly, it helps me to remember that this is a gendered and ethnic/racial issue–with certain people expected to bludgeon their hair before it’s fit for public viewing, and others not.
Anonymous
In the 90s I got my straight Selena hair permed to look more like Elaine’s. It was still baby-fine hair so it was just a sad puffy fried bunch of hair that took forever to grow out. Scrunchies still slipped out.
I used to see perms on offer at salons and now that I think about it haven’t seen them in at least a decade.
Anonymous
There’s a fancy salon (Arrojo) that offers $400 fancy perms, which they call ‘American Wave.’ Grass is always greener…
Anonymous
It’s not like Selena Meyer is now out. Look at Gal Meets Glam – a super popular blogger who is much more similar to Selena than Elaine. Yes, Elaine is now fashionable among a younger crowd, but so are other types of looks.
Cat
Ooh, Julia’s minions are back!
Anonymous
This is so weird.
Cat
My response? I don’t think so. GMG dresses are not designed to be workwear for professionals and don’t seem like Veep styling at ALL. Typical as when the line is brought up here, it tends to be apropos of nothing.
Anonymous
LOLwut!? I have nothing against Julia Engel – I think she seems sweet, her photos are beautiful and she’s built a hugely successful empire, but her style is nothing like Selina’s. It’s very flowery and soft and says “picnic in the French countryside” much more than “Vice President of the United States.” Which is fine! There are people who want that style. But the recommendation of this as a dupe for Selina Meyer is just mind-boggling. Selina Meyer would not be caught dead in a GMG dress!
anon
LOL that is spot on
Anon
My teenage daughter has 90s day at school today (Olds, let that sink in…) and I got her all grunged out with a babydoll dress, ripped black tights and a flannel shirt. She was like, hmmm, I like this look!
Anonymous
I keep on reminding myself that having 90’s day now is like when we had 70’s day when we were in elementary school in the 90’s… Just crazy.
Ms B
Not as crazy as realizing that I was IN elementary school in the 1970s.
Shopping in San Fran
I have half a day in San Francisco and want to look for professional women’s clothing (think CLO) at stores I can’t typically visit in person. I’m near Union Square and see a Saks here; I also saw there is a Karen Millen store here and have never visited one of those. Any others you would recommend?
Anokha
Where are you coming from? There’s now a MM LaFleur store downtown, which I really like for work clothes. Depending on how formal your work environment is, there’s also Ted Baker. (Ted Baker is available at Bloomingdales, but their in-person store has a wider selection.)
Anonymous
Marlowe has gorgeous suiting
Scarlett
We have less of that but more of the brands that started here or are you ally direct to consumer online; there’s Cuyana, Clare V (there’s a Cup of Jo event there tonight if you’re into such things), Everlane, Warby Parker, Rothys, Betabrand. For higher end boutiques, I’d skip Union Square and head to Fillmore Street – I like Alice and Olivia, and it a good one to use as a starting point for having Lyft drop you off. In general, SF isn’t big on power dressing, so you probably won’t find as much in the category you’re looking for but you can find a lot of unique things.
Ms B
I was not familiar with Clare V, but saw this post and checked it out . . . AMAHHHZING.
Sarabeth
Barneys, if you don’t have one near you.
PSA
La Canadienne boots 40% off at Lord and Taylor! (With original prices lower than Nordstrom).
La Canadienne
What are your favorite styles of these boots? Style names appreciated.
Murz
I currently have the Oakly, the Brixton, and the Hollinger in my basket. Trying to narrow it down to 2… any thoughts? None of these styles match what’s sold on Zappos so I cant see videos or pics of how they fit.
Anonymous
Ahhh I made a hotel reservation at a fancy resort in the Caribbean in August for a trip in December. I have a confirmation email, and bought plane tickets the day after I got the confirmation email. I noticed yesterday that the email doesn’t have the room type listed (I intended to reserve a room with a view) so I decided to try to log into their website with the confirmation to make sure it showed the right room type. When I logged in, it said the reservation had been cancelled! I emailed them and they said “you cancelled this reservation, which is why we never charged your credit card for the deposit.” I really thought they’d charged the deposit to my card, but I went back I couldn’t find a charge on the statement, so possibly it was refunded, or it was never charged in the first place and I just failed to notice. But I have literally no memory of cancelling anything and I never got any email saying “we’ve received your cancellation” or anything like that! The only rooms left at this hotel are 2 bedroom suites that are far beyond my budget. I’m looking at other hotels, so it’s high season and everything moderately priced is gone – I really don’t want to spend $1000/night for a hotel or stay in a budget place for $300+ night (nothing against budget hotels, I stay in them in the US regularly, I just don’t want to pay this much for something that looks very low budget to me). WWYD? I hate to eat the cost of plane tickets, but the hotel costs are more significant so maybe I should just cancel the trip. Rescheduling really isn’t an option – these are the only dates that work for our family for various reasons.
I’m so frustrated – if I thought there was even a 1% chance I cancelled it, I’d be blaming myself, but I just can’t figure out why I would have done that, especially after buying plane tickets!
Annie
Can you check out VRBO? Maybe a non-hotel option is still available in your price range?
OP
This island is not super safe (I mean, it’s not super dangerous, but I think crime is similar to a major US city) and I’d be more comfortable in a hotel with security and front desk staff. We also will have a baby and toddler with us, and I’ve found a lot of AirBNBs don’t allow kids.
Anonymous
Email them back and say you did not cancel. Something happened on their end and they need to honor your reservation, which you have already booked plane tickets for.
DCR
+1! I would take this approach. You didn’t cancel, they screwed up. Maybe they won’t do it, but most big chains would honor the reservation.
Anon
That’s so frustrating! Would the hotel be willing to put you on a waitlist in case they get cancellations in the next month?
Could you rent a car and stay in a different part of the island? Or look at an Airbnb? Not sure how much you were planning to spend, but could you do the “budget” hotel for the first half of the trip and the splurge hotel for the second half?
Anon
Is Airbnb available on the island where you’re staying? I would try that – I’ve had good luck with getting really nice places through them.
Scarlett
I second the look for a vacation rental/Airbnb, that’s become my preferred way to travel. Depending on where you’re going, One Fine Stay has a lot of nice places that are comparable to hotels, they don’t have the amenities like big pools, but you might be able to find something you like.
Ses
I’m a bit fighty so I’d probably escalate to manager with the hotel and try to push them on getting my room back. It sounds like their website had a glitch or something, but you have a confirmation email and they aren’t providing any evidence that you cancelled the reservation.
Is it Friday yet?
+1 worst case you’re in the same situation you are now
OP
I tried! They said it’s my fault and I should have noticed that they didn’t charge my credit card and therefore figured out that I didn’t have a reservation. But I got an email confirming the reservation! And I call BS on the credit card thing – not all hotels charge a deposit and not everyone checks their credit card transactions constantly.
They were honestly so nasty it makes me glad they’re not getting my money after all. I was trying to explain to the manager why staying at this hotel was so important to us, and I was saying we have a baby and a toddler so our hotel and AirBNB options are severely limited (lots of adults only hotels on the island) and he just started laughing at me and said “that’s your problem.” WTF!
Anon
I would leave a bad review (on Google if you didn’t book them from a site like booking dot com) and either find another place or cancel the trip. That’s terrible customer service. Even if it was your fault, they could try to be more sympathetic when talking to you. Which resort is this, so we’ll know to avoid.
Anon
is it part of a chain? I would call their national office. Not because I think it will make a difference for your vacation (I wouldn’t want to stay there after this conversation), but because that is ridiculous and they should know they have a horrible manager. (and many chains would offer a free stay at another location)
Anonymous
Please write a review about this. This is information I would absolutely want to have if I were considering my vacation options.
Anonymous
Agreed that you need to complain to higher-ups and post a review online so others can be aware.
busybee
I would also be calling the highest-up I could find. That kind of customer service is unacceptable. If I ran an organization and had employees behaving like that, I’d want to know about it.
Anon
AND social media. So many of these places rely on good social media – both ratings and current posts.
Anon
Best case, they give you the 2 bedroom suite for the price you booked – an upgrade for your troubles. I would rais he**
SC
+1.
If that doesn’t work, and you’re not going to have the vacation you want on this island, I’d pay the airline’s change fees and go somewhere else or go at another time (to a different resort).
Anon
I would:
Write a TripAdvisor review
Look on Agora.com, Booking.com, and Hotels.com. (For hotels.com, you can often buy discounted gift cards and use them to get the prices even lower.) And keep checking for cancellations at the hotels you like because hopefully something will come through. (Maybe even email other hotel managers directly so they let you know if something opens up.)
Ariadne
I’m not sure if you are still reading this, but I’ve had perhaps, not similar, but parallel experiences with hotels I booked online a couple of times. I’ve travelled extensively in Europe, and I’ve arrived at a hotel to learn that they were “full” or claimed to have “water damage” and told we could be shuttled to the sister hotel. sometimes we would arrive and be given a cheaper room, though we paid more for a larger room or bed. Unfortunately, this happens often, and it is best to argue, and speak to the manager directly
What we do now is print out our reservation, and picture of room we paid for in advance. This has come in handy as proof that they accepted our reservation and charges. Once, a hotel in a European city— think four star in London or Paris, for example, refused to give us a more expensive view room we booked that cost more than their standard room. After arguing back and forth, we finally showed them the print out of our reservation, and image of the reserved room, and said, refund us, or give us the room. They gave us the room, which apparently was suddenly available. Turns out that many hotels try to switch out what you reserved in order to make more money on the room, especially if you received on online deal for the room.
J
Hello ladies! I’m in need of some career advice. Long question with back details so bear with me! I have two semesters left of law school (!!!!) and will be graduating December of 2019 from a school in Ohio. I took this fall off because I was recruited by a company to be contracted out to a govt. agency in DC. I was going to do visiting semesters at a school down there to finish. The program got downsized and unfortunately I was one of the three people who lost their offers. I was going to still try and do visiting semesters in DC as that is where I want to live/work (I have family there too) but I decided that it is better to save money, live at home, and buckle down finish at my law school. I’ve found a job as an executive assistant to the owner of a large real estate company locally. Not really legal work, but it’s cool business and task management experience. With living at home, I hope to save a lot so that I can move while I’m studying for the bar. However, my question is this: My ultimate goal after law school is to work in policy/politics. Work for a member of Congress, work in government relations for an interest group…something that puts me in the thick of things so to speak. I worked for a member of Congress in DC during undergrad and my 1L summer I clerked for a Senate committee. I know these experiences aren’t unique to people applying for jobs in DC, so I’m trying to weigh going back there the summer of 2019 for a (probably unpaid) job. The problem is money. I’d have to take on the financial burden myself and if a job is unpaid, I will be spending most of the money I’m saving from living at home. I’ll have loan money too but I also want to save as much of that as possible for post grad. While I know it will be a challenge getting a job in that market after I graduate, would you think its still possible if I don’t go there for an internship next summer? I’m ready to hustle and do whatever I need to in order to be set up for success, but I don’t want to drain myself financially since I will be moving once I graduate. If you made it to the end of this question, thank you very much!!!
Anonymous
Congrats on making it to your final 2 semesters of law school!
It’s not clear to me what you’re asking. You might get some responses if you clarified your question. Are you weighing between option A and option B? Are you just seeking reassurance from people in a certain job and info about the path they took to get there?
Anonymous
Option A would be staying local for the summer and saving as much money as I can. Option B would be focusing efforts on getting an internship in DC that might be unpaid. Would the financial burden of Option B be worth it in the long run? Or is saving as much money as I can with Option A a better plan so I’m prepared for post grad survival. I’m hoping to get some insight from people who know the field and what’s desired in the job market. I hope that makes more sense! I’m so overwhelmed right now with options and planning that it can be difficult to articulate.
Anon
Whoa. You need to make level headed plans.
Jobs in DC are not obtained through geography. You demonstrate interest, experience, and ability in a certain area, and know people.
If you want to work for a member of Congress, that would likely be someone from Ohio who knows you or of you. Those jobs tend to – correct me if I am wrong – involve hiring after inauguration and last until the person is voted out. The salaries are quite low.
If you want to work in policy, then you need to develop some expertise in a policy area. Unless that policy is real estate, your current job is an odd choice.
Be aware that you may be better positioned for policy jobs after some work experience in a certain area. If you get a job in the compliance department of your local hospital, some health care policy groups may consider you to be a more attractive candidate.
But no one just “works in policy.”
Consider working for the state chapter of a national group.
Consider writing white papers, substantive op-eds, and developing a portfolio of work. Strongly consider making a name for yourself in Ohio before trying to launch to DC.
Also, just take the entire year off from law school. Get on the same schedule as everyone else.
Anonymous
Current job came because of availability – the legal job market where I live is horrible and its about an hour and a half drive to Cleveland. Doable for the right pay but those jobs go more to Cleveland law students.
I thought about Columbus but I know a few people who have gone down there and didn’t like it for a few reasons. They’ve all moved out after a year or so, or can’t wait to get out.
MNF
Why not try to get a gig in local politics so that you can stay home and save money? Probably not as glamorous as living in DC (although at least you’re not there in the summer), but seems like good experience to work in a local office of a congress person, or even a state politician.
Anon
Continuing: take the entire year off and look for more substantive or better-paid roles. You may be able to get a paralegal or compliance role that runs for 6 to 9 months – temp agencies like Randstad and Kelly Legal do those.
Tell us what you are interested in and where on the political spectrum you fall.
Join ACS or Federalist Society.
Where in Ohio are you?
Anonymous
I’d rather not take a whole year off because I’d like to get the bar exam out of the way sooner rather than later. I’m in the Youngstown, Ohio, area. Compliance is something I’d genuinely enjoy since it can cross into regulatory stuff. More or less – and I should have been more specific – but I’ve always been more interested in applying my JD in a nontraditional way and am more geographically located than anything else. I could do a lot and be happy, but I need to get out of the small town.
I am part of ACS right now at my law school (that gives away my affiliation!).
Anon
The problem with taking the February bar after a December graduation is that you have about 8 weeks to study for the bar, versus about 11 if you sit for July. That matters.
Are you not at all interested in any externships, clerkships, moot court, or journal activities at your school? Or even traditional hiring? You are throwing yourself out of the loop to save five months (a huge nothing in the grand scheme of things) on the bar.
Yes, you want to get out of your small town, but you have to be strategic about it. You might have to do it in stages. You can’t just launch off to DC and blithely assume it will all work out.
Develop connections in Ohio and even Pittsburg. Write about law and policy. Get published. Work on a campaign. Lobby at the state capitol. Write op-eds. That’s how you hustle to get the kinds of jobs you want – not racing off to DC to shake the small-town dust off your feet.
Anonymous
I didn’t think about the 8 weeks to study part, so thank you for that.
I missed the moot court try outs both times because I was out of town and my school would not let me on the team without trying out- though I did to moot court during undergrad. I’ve done some externships. Worked for the Assistant Attorney General’s Office and have worked in private practice as well when I was living more central to the city. I worked in a small law firm and then a mid-sized firm, and it just really wasn’t for me.
I’m honestly more worried about moving out of Ohio rather than landing my dream job right off the bat. I don’t have much family around me anymore so there just seems no point to staying. Plus, the job market is horrible. I’d have to move to Columbus for anything worthwhile at the state level to get into politics, and it’s not like that’s a “cheap” move either. After working on the Hill twice, I became much more interested in federal policy – so to me that could mean drafting, compliance, lobbying, strategy but I could be wrong. Maybe my original question seemed too limited. There are a ton of things I could be doing that would make me feel fulfilled as a young lawyer, I just don’t want to litigate. I never really have. I truthfully wasn’t even going to take the Ohio bar exam – though Ohio is going to the UBE, I was going to aim for NY bar and apply for non traditional gigs there too (not like it’s any easier, ha!) I’ve heard the Pittsburgh job market is decent – more so than NE Ohio’s. But taking PA’s bar exam and passing up to have the UBE with more states going towards it was advised against by my school’s career office. I’m overwhelmed with all the decisions coming up and it’s hard to make sense of this myself! So thank you very much for taking the time to respond.
Anonymous
Oops – forgot to mention! I’ve gotten the publishing advice from a trusted professor so I’m working with him about getting a paper I already have + two more I’d like to write in somewhere.
Cb
I bought the Boden Dorchester skirt in conker which is a burnt orange and I’m unsure how to style it. Just black sweaters?
I have it in mustard and green and highly recommend it – lined, doesn’t wrinkle too much, machine washable and super cute.
PolyD
I would not do black with orange. I would try gray, navy, maybe olive – or camel or oatmeal if those look good on you (I always forget those colors, they look terrible on me!). Black and orange looks too Halloween.
Tfor22
I have to say, black and orange is always acceptable at my place of employment. Go Tigers!
Senior Attorney
I do black with burnt orange (not bright orange) and add a leopard belt. One of my fave outfits!
Also navy is divine with burnt orange.
Anonymous
Chocolate brown , or cream?
Anon
Grey, hunter green, baby blue, navy, camel, olive green. I consider that shade a neutral color in a richer tone.
pugsnbourbon
Yeah, it reads to me a bit more reddish-brown than full orange. It’s pretty! I just saw (and passed on) a nubby, cream-and-tan sweater that would look great with the conker color.
AIMS
Navy or a lighter blue would look nice.
AAnny
Purple and orange are fantastic. Just head to grocery stores and look at bags of oranges with purple netting (I’m serious), it’s a fantastic look
Anon
Navy always looks good with mustard yellow or orange.
Anon
I’d do a gray with it, not black. I’d also check out combining it with warm neutrals like beige and warm off white.
Anonymous
Hi all, I’m officially abandoning Brazilian waxing and planning to start trimming instead. Does anyone have recommendations for a bikini trimmer?
Torin
Philips Bikini Perfect.
Cringing at Myself
…furminator we use on the dogs. Not kidding. It’s essentially a wahl clipper but quieter. Trim with shortest guard on, or for a closer cut, no guard (but obviously be careful).
Anonymous
That’s hilarious. Do you and the dogs share the same one?
Cringing at Myself
Haha yep! It gets cleaned, and our dogs very rarely get clipped with it, but yes!
Also? My DH came up with this idea, after I noticed some hedge trimming happening in his…garden (am I doing this right?). I laughed at first and he was like “what, it works. why get another stupid tool when this works fine?”
BB
Men’s beard trimmers are also a good option.
SW
This one: https://www.amazon.com/Panasonic-ES246AC-Portable-Adjustable-Settings/dp/B00005JS5C/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1539877968&sr=8-3&keywords=bikini+trimmer+for+women
Anonymous
Panasonic bikini trimmer
Veronica Mars
I’m interested in getting some Rothys, is there a ‘rette discount/referral code?
Anonymous
https://www.talkable.com/x/jNZcsu
Enjoy!
Equestrian Attorney
That sounds so annoying, I’m sorry. You might want to check out villas on VRBO/Airbnb if that’s your thing. Honestly, I would probably do budget hotel (assuming you find something semi-decent) + car rental and day passes to a nice beach club if that’s your thing. We once had to extend our stay in St Maarteen (flight mess-up) so we stayed at a motel that was surprisingly nice (view, pool, clean, but not on the beach) and drove ourselves to the nicest resorts where we got day passes, and spent a day hiking inland. It ended up being really fun.
Equestrian Attorney
This was meant as a reply to Anon with the resort mess-up, sorry!
Anon
This is a super specific request, but can anyone recommend any historical books (non-fiction or fiction) set in imperial Germany prior to WWI? I’m particularly interested in how daily life and family structure of the upper classes contributed to willingness to support National Socialism beginning in the 1920s. TIA!
Anoner
In the Garden of Beasts?
Anoner
In the Garden of Beasts. Also read the Woman in the Castle – I think that’s what it’s called. Somewhat on topic.
Vicky Austin
Not exactly what you are looking for, but I studied German in college and read the diary of Ruth Andreas-Friedrich, who was a German journalist aiding German Jews to escape during the war. I don’t remember much about her exact viewpoints, but it might be a place for you to start? I will keep picking my brain for you (surely I must have read something like what you are describing!).
Vicky Austin
Ooh, I (kinda) remembered. Target your reading search to the Weimar Republic (unofficial name for Germany and its government from about 1918 until 1933). I know I read something by Walter Benjamin, but he was a product of the time, not necessarily trying to analyze it. Anyway, hopefully that can get you started. Fascinating question.
C
I haven’t read these, but this is what I came up with:
Workers’ Culture in Imperial Germany: Leisure and Recreation in the Rhineland and Westphalia by Lynn Abrams
Sweeping the German Nation: Domesticity and National Identity in Germany, 1870-1945 by Nancy Reagin
German Women for Empire, 1884-1945 by Lora Wildenthal
Globalisation and the Nation in Imperial Germany by Sebastian Conrad
They’re all non-fiction and look potentially a bit dry, but I think they’d give a good perspective on your interests!
*misty eyes*
omg I took a whole college class on the Weimar Republic and LOVED it. this is bringing me back
Anon
Wow, I’m so impressed you ladies were able to deliver some great suggestions for such a niche question! Thanks so much!
mascot
All Quiet on the Western Front- Not entirely within your parameters, but was written in 1929 by a German WWI vet so it likely does have some contemporaneous thoughts as the period you reference.
Anonymous
Stefan Zweig is Austrian, but his memoir The World of Yesterday does capture the same period.
Cb
Travels in the third reich
La Canadienne
I saw the PSA above regarding La Canadienne boots being on sale. Which styles are your favorites? Style names appreciated.
Terminology
In clothing, an “oversized” means the shoulders, etc., do not fit closely to the body. That provides a slouchy fit. This jacket is not oversized. It is just hip length.
Anonymous
+1 – with oversized, the shoulder seams have dropped down the arm. This jacket is just long.
Wool Coat - Shopping Help Needed!
Vicarious shopping help – my beloved Alpaca coat from Cole Haan developed holes last year (it was beautiful but didn’t last long, as the alpaca fuzz rubbed off where I carry my purse, put down my elbows on tables, etc.). It’s getting cold, and I’m in desperate need of a new, warm wool/similar material coat to tide me over until sleeping bag coat season.
I LOVED the style of the coat I had (basically this – https://www.colehaan.com/suri-alpaca-belted-coat-dark-charcoal/T60034.html – without the sash and a straight flap across the back instead of a hood). It was structured and stylish without being too complicated. Everything I’m seeing now seems to be essentially button/zipper-less (one button mid-way up, a sash to close), which is not practical in this climate (Northeast US). But I still want something stylish/chic. Preferably under $300 and not synthetic. Any suggestions of stores to check out/styles you’ve seen that fit the bill?
Anon
1) Do you really want to re-buy a coat that you know won’t last for $300 every year or so?
2) A coat isn’t like a sweater, it needs structure and sturdiness so you might want to ease up on the “not synthetic” bit. Are you anti-polyester or some other specific material? If you want a natural material coat you’re going to have to spend way more than $300.
My best coat that looked exactly like you describe but has actually lasted forever was a thick felt peacoat with flaps from Calvin Klein, about $250 retail. Similar to the below in cut but made of a thicker sturdier material:
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-belted-wrap-coat?ID=6437135&CategoryID=269#fn=BRAND%3DCalvin%20Klein%26SIZE%3D%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D112%26ruleId%3D78%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%7CBOOST%20ATTRIBUTE%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D4
PolyD
I have to agree with the desire for no synthetics. As you increase the amount of nylon/polyester/rayon and decrease the amount of wool/cashmere, the coat is just not as warm and wears out more easily.
I have a 100% wool coat that is ancient (like nearly 20 years old) and still in good shape (except the lining ripped) and very warm, vs. my J Crew coats that are half that age or less and are pilling and are not as warm. Even a small amount of non-wool – I think one of the J Crews is 92% wool and 8% nylon -makes the coat not as warm.
Unfortunately, 100% wool or wool/cashmere blend coats seem to be very rare lately, even at the $300 price point. I think you would need to go higher. This is why I gave up on wool coats and went to down – got a down coat from Eddie Bauer in the Thanksgiving sales last year, it was under $200 (I’m pretty sure) and is actually fairly flattering for a down coat.
I would love to know if something has happened to sheep or wool processing that makes it so hard to find 100% wool coats, and, for that matter, 100% wool sweaters with some heft to them.
Anonymous
I just got the Wilfred Cocoon Coat from Aritzia and I LOVE it. It is a simple shape that buttons all the way up and the material is fantastic. It is wool/cashmere and not itchy (and I consider myself very sensitive to wool). It’s $350, so above your price range a bit, but I would hazard that it is much nicer than the multiple JCrew coats I have tried on over the years. I highly recommend.
Legally Brunette
Oh wow, this is gorgeous!!
Anonymous
I have trouble styling a thin bright orange v-neck sweater. How would you wear it? With black, it looks to Halloween. With navy, it just looks sort of jarring. Maybe if I went to Auburn. Any thoughts?
C
I’d wear it with a gray skirt and a cream and gray patterned scarf!
Vicky Austin
Like, sports teams orange? Or more muted? If it’s a more muted orange I’d try brown.
Anonymous
sports team orange
I regret buying it. I usually don’t have these problems but it is super hard to match. I even feel like it looks weird with cream. Maybe a scarf is the answer.
MagicUnicorn
Black ankle pants with a pale blue collared shirt underneath the sweater.
pugsnbourbon
It’s more of a spring look, but I’d do chambray-color pants and brown oxfords or ankle boots with this sweater-shirt combo.
nutella
Leopard! (Scarf, shoes, belt, skirt, whatever you have.)
Never too many shoes...
Have you tried it with a tweed or boucle bottom? Maybe a bit pf pattern/texture will help? I have a similar sweater that I have worn with camel glen plain bottoms and also with a grey boucle skirt.
Senior Attorney
Strangely, bright orange looks amazing with magenta or really most shades of pink. Also second the suggestion of light blue.
Anonymous
Navy or brown
Anonymous
This is why I stopped buying orange.
Anon
Anyone following the admissions discrimination case against Harvard this week? Do the lawyers here have any predictions?
Anonymous
IDK but the %white admiited on merit alone # was one thing but the %white admitted + legacy + recruited athletes # was just shocking. Like I know SEC schools around me recruit non-qualified athletes all the time, but wouldn’t have expected both legacy #s and athletic #s to be so much larger than the # of white kids admitted on merit. Weren’t the Wineklevoss twins both athletes?
It did confirm what I suspected about moving to sparsely-populated square states for an admissions edge. Probably much better odds from there than from suburban Essex County NJ.
Never mind how this case goes on AA, Harvard should be ashamed about what this case has shown re non-merit white admissions.
Anon
Aren’t students of color also eligible for legacy, wealth, and athletic admissions though? Not discounting your point, but those mechanisms don’t seem SPECIFICALLY targeted towards increasing the white student population.
Anonymous
There is a graphic in today’s WSJ what breaks this out by race and the largest beneficiaries of this are white people — it is a significant portion and easy to spot. There are other grids for AA/other considerations, but this is the only big jump for white admissions (and shows not a great AA consideration for white people — so if you are white, it’s merit/athletics/legacy instead of looking for poor / white / first-generation / white English language learners (so no immigrants from eastern Europe or other places).
So if you are poor / white / first generation, Harvard isn’t going to reach deeper into the admissions pool for you. If you are starting on third base, Harvard might have a spot for you.
Anonymous
I will say that I can see the case for legacy admissions for small private colleges that may be financially struggling and just need the $ from people who can pay full tuition to keep the lights on.
You clearly don’t need that to keep the lights on at Harvard. Other paying people will gladly take the legacy admittees’ places.
Maybe not so at Obscure Small Private College With no Endowment.
Monday
Totally true, but when does any organization say “well, we have enough money”?
first gen + ivy leaguer
I really struggle with this case because I agree with this in theory but don’t see how it plays out in practice. Where does one draw the line that School A can admit legacies and School Z cannot? Is it a matter of the endowment size, in which case how much is too much? What about legacy students who pay full tuition, which then enables the school to provide more financial aid and scholarships to students who don’t have those funds? (Same argument could be made for athletics – athletics bring in money for the school, which in turn allows the school to provide a better school for its students.)
I hate the idea of students being discriminated against because of race but I also feel socio-economic background is important in admissions because if it were completely ‘blind’, the cycle of privilege would keep repeating itself (because rich kids have schools with more opportunities, more access to test prep tutors, more time to focus on extra-curriculars, etc., etc.) And I feel that if MIT wants to accept students based solely on test scores they should be able to do so. And I feel if a liberal arts college like Harvard wants to consider students based on other factors outside of pure test scores, they should be able to do so, too.
Anonymous
If Harvard is unclear about whether it has enough $, the Harvard magic is pretty worthless.
I mean, they aren’t going to just serve ramen in the cafeteria if they dial down the nonsense or turn Harvard Yard into a community garden that they’ll use for sustenance.
Anonymous
But it’s Harvard. I bet the first 5 tranches of rejects are fungible to the admits, so you could dump the legacies and admit a relatively merit-qualified group that will be willing to pay full tuition. And still not have touched the endowment. How have they not figured out that they can afford to be legacy indifferent? That should be the power of their brand.
emeralds
But realistically, whose families are going to have legacy status and significant wealth due to centuries of institutionalized racism? White people. Policies do not exist in a vacuum.
Anonymous
+1000
I went to Harvard and of the many legacy students I knew, only one was not 100% white (and she was half white / half Asian, the white parents being the Harvard legacy parent).
Anon
You’re forgetting that legacy students of color have only been going to Harvard in decent numbers (not the handful from the super wealthy or random genius in the 70s) for around….30 years or so. There aren’t a lot of legacy or wealthy (by statistics) persons of color for their kids to make any amount of impact on the legacy pool.
Anonymous
Are there even any legacy families of color?
Anonymous
Maybe not in significant #s? Maybe their kids aren’t old enough yet to apply in #s that would show up on a graph? Maybe their kids were admitted so much on merit that you don’t see a big column jump with you factor in athletes/legacies?
I know athletes can be of all colors and backgrounds, but when your sports are crew, field hockey, etc. I don’t think that the athletes look like America.
A lawyer, but a non-lawyer point
One underlying tension that I haven’t seen highlighted is how much the rich kids (presumably majority white, more likely to be legacy) are offsetting the cost of tuition for lower income (presumably more likely non-white) students. NYT ran an article yesterday stating that the effective cost of college has declined because colleges have been able to provide more tuition breaks to lower income students. If legacy admissions decline, the effective cost of tuition may rise as well.
Anon
I know you’re trying to make a conservative point about rich kids subsidizing poor kid’s education but…that’s how it’s supposed to work. It’s not just rich kids subsidizng poor kids tuition (and largely that’s not true, Harvard has an insane endowment and tons of rich alumni that donate specifically for this, so don’t assume your money is actually paying someone else’s tuition, that’s just presumptuous your money is a drop in the bucket). Valued programs that don’t make any money are subsidized by programs that cost a lot whose alumni make a lot of money. Where do you think the fully funded phds money comes from? The law and business school programs. If Harvard didn’t allocate its money the way it does it’d be a shi* school with a reputation for no humanities, no enrichment of knowledge, and dumb rich kids who can only buy their way into a education (cough *your kid?* cough)
Anonymous
One of the things that rankled me about NYU Law was how insanely expensive it was to attend (for me, a generation removed from having an outhouse) and yet some people paid $0. I can see aiding public interest fellowships after graduation depending on what you do with a professional degree (if a doctor, go into public health, if a lawyer, be a prosecutor or legal aid lawyer somewhere, etc.), but when you’re seeking the degree at a school where you assume everyone gets in more or less on merit, either everyone deserves the $ or no one does (or forgive the loans from people who make in a year what others pay in taxes).
A lawyer, but a non-lawyer point
Hey, Anon at 11:27am, no need to say my kids are dumb. I think its fair to ask whether that is “how it’s supposed to work”. I’m one generation removed from extreme poverty and my parents really struggled to pay for my college- its hard to understand why colleges cant cut the price of tuition in half (or by the application percentage) for all students rather than admitting some at full freight and other for free. Wouldn’t that help the student loan bubble?
busybee
I agree with your point and Anon at 11:27am was exceptionally rude.
Anon
That may be true at other schools, but not at Harvard. Harvard has such a huge endowment that it could stop charging tuition to anyone and it would be fine for decades
Sarabeth
There are definitely places where it works like that, but Harvard is not one of them. Harvard can afford to give full tuition grants to its entire undergraduate population without making a serious dent in the endowment. They shouldn’t do that, b/c they’d be massively subsidizing the educations of some very very wealthy people, but they could afford it.
More importantly, even in places where cross-subsidization is actually paying for poorer kids to go to college, legacy preferences help white people more than a simple need-aware admissions policy (which is standard at non-elite public schools). There are more wealthy black/Asian/Latinx/other minority families than there are legacy families, partly due to the dynamics of immigration and partly due the effect of past discrimination. In many of the most financially successful black families I know, the parents went to Morehouse/Spellman, etc. Let those folks pay full tuition to send their kids to NYU!
Anon
I bought the turquoise (teal? aqua?) suede shoes that were featured here a couple of days ago. Now I’m having second thoughts because I’m not sure how to style them aside from with all black. Would love to hear any styling suggestions from the ladies here!
Anom
I’m not very adventurous. I would wear teal suede shoes with black, gray, brown or white (and any combination thereof, including varying shades of gray or brown). Maybe with a small accent of purple or yellow? But since I wear a lot of those neutrals, I would keep the teal shoes. Those looked to be a gorgeous shade of teal!
Anonymous
Jewel tones – Navy, wine/ruby, winter white, cream
Avoid pastels or primary colors
nutella
They would look nice with: gray, tan/cognac, blues, and if you are feeling fun – purple, orange.
Senior Attorney
And yellow!
Julie
I used to have a pair that sadly have expired, though I then added in aqua Adidas shoes. I love aqua with a navy outfit or anything green or gray to brighten it up. I also wear them with most of my floral tops.
Anon in Texas
I am currently wearing similar shoes in a teal-y forest green with a black dress and tights and a shawl/sweater thing that has navy, black and grey and an assortment of greens and blues and purples (almost patchwork looking). I wear these shoes all the time, but my clothes are almost all neutrals (black, dark and light grey, cream, ivory) and shades of blue and green (all of the blues and greens) so the shoes go with almost every outfit.
I work in a business casual office in a department the errs on the side of casual, so YMMV if you work in a more formal environment.
Anonymous
Husband and I have a day to kill in New York on Sunday. We live in New England and have done some of the NYC standards, so we’re looking for a good little area to explore, fun activities, or your favorite bar/restaurant. I have a work presentation on Monday, but we also need dinner plans for Monday night. Staying in midtown but we’d prefer to leave that area.
Anonymous
You could check out Brooklyn Heights. Beautiful view of lower Manhattan from the Promenade, and Brooklyn Bridge Park is right there, too. There are fun touristy places to eat (Grimaldi’s, waterfront DUMBO) but also great less touristy places (Noodle Heights, Al Mar).
Anonymous
*Noodle Pudding, not Noodle Heights
Noodle Heights!
Love this typo. I want to go to Noodle Heights now!
Senior Attorney
I love the Lower East Side Tenement Museum. There’s a great Vietnamese restaurant down the block called An Choi, also it’s close to Katz’s Deli.
And if you haven’t walked the High Line, do that. So fun and the Chelsea Market is at one end with lots of dining (and shopping!) options.
Anonymous
Thanks! We’ve done the High Line and Chelsea Market a few times, but I agree it’s a great activity.
Ms B
Following on this, Lower East Side food tour: Russ & Daughters, Katz’s, Donut Plant, Kossar’s, Yonnah Schimmels, Pickle Guys, then the Tenement Museum.
Senior Attorney
Oh, and for dinner we loved Esca in Hell’s Kitchen and Osteria al Doge in the theatre district.
Anonymous
I’d see theater. What about going to the Cloisters? It’s a fun exploration and it gets you out of Midtown.
I agree that exploring Brooklyn Heights is a fun afternoon. You could add in a stop at the Transit Museum, which is really interesting.
Anonymous
GREAT IDEA on the Transit Museum, my husband will LOVE that.
Anonymous
A local mayor was recently arrested by FBI, IRS, and HUD and indicted on 13 federal counts of wire and tax fraud related to a business he started. His investors say he stole their money for personal gain. He insists he did nothing wrong. It is all a politically motivated attack because he beat a district attorney incumbent. Umm…what? The feds don’t care. It is a circus here. Stressful!
emeralds
Favorite cruelty-free drugstore eyeliner? My beloved Urban Decay liner finally called it quits and I’m hoping to find a cheaper substitute.
anon
Pencil liner or liquid? My all time favorite pencil is actually wet n wild – it’s a smudgier kohl pencil, but it’s excellent and costs 99c. It’s also twice as long as most eyeliners.
My favorite drugstore liquid liners are Jordana (used to be at Target, now you may have to look on a m a z o n) and the NYC Vinyl Liner, which I found at Nordstrom Rack recently.
Never too many shoes...
I have not tried the eyeliner, but have had good luck with NYX products and I believe they are cruelty free.
Anonymous
I’ve posted before about doing college tours – I just got back from the Midwest with my senior (LOVED University of Minnesota btw! Amazing school). Also saw Wisconsin and Illinois.
Now we are going to visit University of Oregon- I don’t think there are many PNW people on here but if anyone has a recommendation of a great place to stay would love to hear it…
Anonymous
I’m not trying to be snarky, but what value do you see in those schools over comparable in-state schools? My philosophy has always been that if my kid can get into an elite private school, we’ll pay, but if she wants to go to a state school (no judgment, DH and I are the products of state schools), she can go in-state. I’m curious how people arrive at the decision that attending, say, Minnesota, from out of state is worth it.
Anon
Not all state schools are created equal. One state school may be ranked the same as another great state school, but one has a much better program in the area the student is interested in. Not everyone goes to school aimlessly or with a generic major (think math, bio, chem, etc) in mind. When I was looking at colleges I paid special attention to schools that had programs with feeders into their grad programs that allowed you to enter with more credits (saving money and time) and schools with specialized engineering programs.
Anonymous
Not the OP, but I’ll bite. In my case, the out-of-state school had specific programs I was interested in, and the in-state school did not. In addition, the out-of-state tuition was actually cheaper than in-state tuition by a couple thousand dollars, and I ended up getting some scholarship help by the end of my time in the program. As an added bonus, the out-of-state school was in a town with a better quality of life than the in-state school.
Monday
Some states just do not have a comparable in-state school. There’s a huge variety in quality.
emeralds
Yeah, I went to a highly-ranked state school and most of the out-of-state students I knew came from states whose flagships were not of comparable quality. I don’t want to pile on Rutgers after the kerfluffle yesterday, since I think it’s a fine school that gives a lot of students a great education, but I know a lot of folks from NJ who didn’t get into Ivies who ended up at my university since it was highly-ranked and its out of state cost was slightly less than the cost of its peer private institutions. On the other hand, I didn’t know too many folks from California or Michigan.
Anonymous
I’m from NJ and went to a west coast in-state flagship university, even though it cost more than Rutgers. My original plan was actually to change residency and get in-state tuition, but they changed the rules my freshman year and that became not practicable. Nothing against Rutgers, but my school is higher ranked. It makes less sense to go to say, Penn State, instead of Rutgers in-state, though.
Anonymous
I got a full ride to Rutgers but room & board were still quite high. Out of state tuition at other state’s flagship U was insignificantly higher in year 1 and then lower after (working as an RA paid for room/board plus I qualified for in-state tuition).
The diaspora of college students is insane.
Cat
The OP is from the Bay Area. Hardly lacking for in-state options! FWIW my parents agreed with the first Anonymous — if I wanted a “big state school” atmosphere it would be in-state, not the next state over with WAY higher tuition.
Anonymous
Yes but those in state options are incredibly hard to get into. If he gets into a good UC that’s where he will go…just looking for back up options…
Anon
Or even if they do have a comparable in-state school, it may just be really hard to get in. A kid from northern Virginia will have a hard time getting in to UVA, but may be able to get in to Michigan or California-Berkeley because they won’t be competing against their whole graduating class and lots of states like a little grographic diversity in their student body.
Anonymous
Yes — l left NoVa and now think my kids might have a shot at going to my state school VA alma mater. But the out of state tuition sticker shock is making me a fan of large academically generous state universities in New State (forget about Flagship State U — too many kids from our city so they are extra picky — same problem/different state
Anonymous
+1. I know plenty of people from big public high schools in the Chicago suburbs who couldn’t get into UIUC despite very high GPAs, high class ranks, high test scores, good extracurriculars, etc. because there were just so many of them. It’s all well and good to tell your kid that they can only go to an in-state public school, but it’s just not going to be feasible for a huge number of kids.
Anonymous
Because we are in CA and the UC system is incredibly impacted. He has a 3.8 gpa with a lot of AP classes and a 1500 on SAT and *might* get into maybe 1 UC…. The UC system has just let it be known that the overenrolled last year and will be reducing enrollment even more next year :(
Plus my whole family went out of state to college and found it a great experience. I was not prepared to be so impressed with Minnesota! Though his top out of state choices right now are University of Michigan and University of Wisconsin.
Anonymous
Sorry that was me the OP responding above.
anon
if he has such great credentials, and already looking out of state, why isn’t he considering private institutions?
Michigan and Wisconsin are both great schools, albeit freezing, with decent out of state populations and good alumni networks not only in that state. A place like Minnesota does not attract as many out of state people and if he hopes to get a job outside of Minnesota he will have more trouble doing so. If your child is not hoping to stay in the new state, definitely look to see where people end up post college. I work in higher ed at a top private institution in the south and we have a lot of students who come from other states, but then are disappointed when most of the job opportunities are in the state where the school is located and have trouble returning to their home state/coast
Anonymous
There aren’t any private schools he is interested in. We considered Tufts, Middlebury and Cornell but realized he has very very low chance of getting in. His GPA (that’s a weighted GPA) isn’t very good.
NYCer
With a 1500 SAT, he will *definitely* get into more than one UC…
Anonymous
His top choice is UCSB – he has about a 25% chance of getting in. His weighted gpa is actually only a 3.72 I just checked. He isn’t even applying to UCLA or Berkeley as he has zero chance.
LeeB
Exactly. He might get into UC Merced, but if that’s not what he wants then going out of state makes more sense.
It is insane how difficult it is for CA kids to get into the UC system.
DCR
Not relevant to the OP, who appears to be on the west coast. But some Midwest schools have reciprocity agreements, so that you are only paying instate tuition and fees. Minnesota, for example, has reciprocity with Wisconsin, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Iowa. When I was at Minnesota, we had a lot of students from neighboring states as a result.
Anonymous
The Western Undergraduate Exchange covers schools from as far west as Hawaii and Alaska to as far east as the Dakotas, including some California schools.
Anonymous
WHAT!? How did I know not know this?
Anonymous
#MidWestCompact (or whatever it is called now).
Also, it used to be / maybe still in the case that if you live in DC you are treated as if you were in-state at a lot of state schools. Otherwise it is UDC or bust.
Anon
I don’t think that there are any states that treat DC residents as in-state on a blanket basis, or at least none that I know of. But there are scholarships for DC residents going to school out of state. And I think a lot of states offer DC residents scholarships to offset the difference between in-state and out-of-state tuition.
anon
Late to the convo, but I was a DC resident who went “out of state.” The school you go to doesn’t give you in state tuition, you receive a grant, which theoretically should bring you down to about what in state costs (still not even close for me).
DCR
Also, I knew multiple kids from other states who got merit-based scholarships that covered the difference between in-state and out-of-state tuition. So, I wouldn’t assume that all kids going to an out of state school are paying out of state tuition
Anonymous
I live in NC near the SC border. USC seems to routinely offer NC students merit scholarships that make it comparable to NC schools (not everyone from the CLT area gets into UNC or NC State) for tuition. And it’s not for National Merit Scholars — I was really surprised, but the annecdata is there.
Anonymous
I also wonder if people saying this have high school aged kids yet…it is a completely different world now in terms of getting into schools.
I went Ivy League and now I wouldn’t even get into a UC.
JuniorMinion
I think people sometimes don’t realize that some of the big state flagships (Virginia, Texas, Mich, Wisc, Indiana, Illinois, UNC etc….) have way way WAY better OCR than a lot of private schools.
I went to an Ivy but my eyes were truly opened when I was heavily involved in recruiting at my financial firm – after some of the Ivies pretty much the rest of our target / focus schools were big state (other than schools like Duke / Georgetown).
To the OP – I know I’m late but I would be really careful of the UCSB reputation outside California if your son is not going there to do a specific program.
anonymous
No recommendation near Eugene, but all I can say is I-L-L!
Anon
I-N-I! :-)
Pale Girl Snorkeling
I ended up at the University of Illinois as an undergrad from out of state and my parents were more than happy to pay the out of state tuition and fees as it was much lower than the private schools I had been accepted to. I was coming from the northeast and my in state options were not good at all. The land grant university experience is different, but also fantastic, and I’ve never had trouble networking outside of Illinois. I had an excellent undergraduate experience taking very specialized history and honors classes with some of the top professors in the world. I did 2 semesters at a small private New England college and it was nice, but not nearly the great experience I had at Illinois.
I’m also a huge believer in state schools for graduate programs. I have two graduate degrees from two state schools and both allowed me to work in exchange for in state tuition waivers and paid me enough to get by. Unlike a lot of people I know, this meant I graduated with minimal student debt which has given me a lot more flexibility
Anon
From Oregon, moved to Minn for law school, so I can speak to both!
University of ORegon is in Eugene, a small town built entirely around the college. It’s a great place to be student, not much of interest, though, post-graduation. The football program has more money than God because Phil Night (Nike) is an alum. Easy to get to the Beach for a day trip or to Portland for more Big City things.
Minnesota is very strong school if you want to stay in Minnesota, but isn’t well known outside the midwest. I didn’t plan to stay in Minnesota after coming here for law school but the Twin Cities are a great place to raise a family, with a much lower cost of living that most other cities with comparable employemnt / arts / sports/ etc.
DCR
Minnesota has a strong reputation in some undergrad fields, and many undergrads have no problems finding a job out of state (or at least none of my friend’s did). It just depends on what the OP’s son wants to study. But, being in the middle of a city is a very different college experience and may not be what OP’s son wants.
I left the state for law school, so can’t talk to that. But I do have the sense that the law school doesn’t have as strong a reputation is one would expect given its ranking.
OP
We LOVED how urban it was.
I agree that it doesn’t have the same name recognition that Wisconsin has – which is odd since the acceptance rate is actually lower than Wisconsin.
He isn’t even applying to UC Merced which is in a bad location and mostly commuters but he is applying to UCSC and Riverside (plus Davis and UCSB)
Anonymous
Message about the UCs…not good!
UC Freshman Admission Update
by Ms. Sun Oct. 16, 2018
“As of September 2018, UCLA, UCSD, and UCSB have either directly or inadvertently stated that they over-enrolled for Fall 2018 (some by more than 25% of the enrollment target) and it’s likely that other UCs may have over-enrolled as well (even though they didn’t say anything). UCLA has stated that the campus will reduce enrollment in the next few years and it’s safe to assume that other over-enrolled UCs will do the same. Given that enrollment reduction for Fall 2019 is imminent, take some time to consider and evaluate your backup college options in preparation for this.”
UofO Mom
To answer the question you actually asked:
(1) Campbell House Inn is very nice and has great breakfast, but with your son you might need two rooms or a suite so would be pricey. Also, train noise in the middle of the night. I almost always stay there but my daughter and I can share the bed and I can go right back to sleep after the train wakes me in the middle of the night.
(2) Oddly, I really liked Candlewood Suites. It is super cheap (except on football weekends) but just across the river from the University. What is nice is that the rooms on one side have a view of the river. As for one of those.
(3) Valley River Inn
I have not stayed there, but I have heard good things about the Inn at the 5th and I may stay there next time.
Try to avoid football weekends (unless you want to go to a game). The room prices literally triple. Also, be aware that a lot of places close at 9:00 pm so don’t count on a late dinner.
As a fellow Californian with a kid at the UofO, my daughter loves it. Lots of California kids and whether they like it seems to depend largely on whether they can take the winter weather and (for the ones from cities) the small town.
Good luck!
Cookbooks
What are environmentally friendly ways to bring back leftovers from a restaurant (assuming it hasn’t been packaged in something recyclable)? This came up over dinner with friends the other day, about how we all have more than enough of the plastic black boxes with the clear lids–because you can only save so many.
Anon
Wax lined cardboard foldable box, similar to the one they put takeout in from Indian restaurants. Completely recyclable, and packs flat to keep in your trunk.
Anon
In my county they don’t recycle cardboard that has food and grease (like pizza boxes) and if you place them in with good cardboards, they dump everything because even the good ones are now “contaminated”
Anonymous
Idk about environmentally friendly, but I have a friend who puts leftovers in those plastic containers after cooking dinner. If her family gets to them within a day or two, great. If not, she gives the packaged leftovers to homeless individuals on her way to work.
Anonymous
Bring your own reusable Tupperware with you!
Anonymous
Can’t you rinse and recycle those plastic boxes? I thought you could still recycle as long as you got the food out of them.
Cookbooks
We do. But we were also thinking about trying to use less plastic in general.
cat socks
If they are #5 plastic, they can be recycled at Whole Foods. I rinse and keep mine in a paper bag at home until I go into the store. I also recycle yogurt, sour cream and other containers like that.
Anonymous
What is your question? Isn’t the answer that the restaurant should package the food in recyclable containers? In my town, I don’t see a lot of those plastic containers. Mostly cardboard these days. I do not think bringing your own containers is the answer. I suppose if you package the food yourself, at the table, in your own glass containers, that might be okay. But I do not want your containers going back to the kitchen. Nor do I think any restaurant wants the hassle, even if it were permitted. Also, aren’t those plastic boxes recyclable?
Cookbooks
Most of them are, but it’s also just trying to use less plastic in general. Recycling only goes so far.
Anonymous
Bring your own to go containers. Sorry but seems so obvious
AnonInfinity
I know someone who puts one of those plastic boxes in her purse when she goes somewhere that she thinks might have leftovers and puts the leftovers in that.
anon
You bring your own container.
Doggie Bagger
I actually bring a container with me. I know I will never finish an adult size entree at most restaurants, so I tuck a container in my bag. I’ve only ever had one place refuse to use it.
Cookbooks
That’s good to know! My concern was that if I were to bring my own container, the restaurant wouldn’t allow it.
DLC
I sometimes bring my own containers- or if I’m somewhere straight from work, and I have my lunch containers with me, I’ll use those (I wash them at work after I eat lunch). I’ve never had an issue.
One of my favorite restaurants gives you a 50 cent discount if you bring your own container for take out/ leftovers. I wish more places encouraged such a mind shift.
DLC
On of my favorite restaurants gives you a 50 cent discount if you bring your own take out/ leftover container. I wish more restaurants would do this- it would help a slight mind shift, I think. Like bringing your own bag.
DC Attorney taking VA bar?
Any Virginia-barred attorneys on here? I work in DC and am currently admitted in DC. It is not strictly necessary for me to be a member of the bar, but (given my practice) I think it would be helpful for business development. So, how hard is the Virginia bar for a good test-taker? I’m trying to decide how little studying I could get away with, given my workload and young family. I know this varies by person, but any anecdata would be helpful. (Bio details just for reference: I have always done very well on standardized exams, and I graduated with honors from HYS.)
Anonymous
Is there reciprocity? How much longer would you have to wait to waive in?
Anonymous
I have no experience with VA, but I don’t share the (common?) opinion that the bar is mostly an intelligence test. I believe there are certainly people who lack the cognitive/test-taking skills to pass no matter how much they study, which is obviously not you. But I know a lot of really smart people who failed, because they didn’t study much and thought they could coast on their IQ and test-taking ability. The bar is really a knowledge test, and you have to learn a lot of law to pass it. Basically, to be blunt, you can be too stupid to pass but not too smart to fail.
DCR
How long have you been out of school? Frankly, I would just wait until I had been practicing for 5 years and waive in. I can’t image that any business development benefit in the first 5 years of practice will be that great, and certainly not enough to offset the cost and time necessary for taking the bar.
Anon
Took the VA bar in July after working 8.5 years as an attorney in a non-reciprocal state. Took a bar course and studied at night for three months after my toddler went to bed. Worked full time during the process. Results come back tomorrow. Also lost 35 lbs (intentionally) during the same time period. Lots of discipline and lots of self-promises that “I can watch Law and Order again when it’s all over.” Hoping tomorrow with be #likeaboss day. Partially bragging, partially advising “YOU CAN DO IT” if you want it, whatever it is.
DC Attorney taking VA bar?
Thank you everyone. I’m senior enough in my career that it really is a business development issue, and I cannot waive in due to the VA bar’s “full time” requirement — I work part-time and hope to stay that way for the foreseeable future.
Anonymous
The Duchess of Sussex wore Rothys yesterday so your work shoes are officially royal-approved.
Anonymous
I’m about to move beyond gifted and cheap candles for the first time. I’m looking for names of brands that will have good “throw” when lit – my house needs a fresher scent and this is one piece of it.
What are brands you like?
tz
I have splurged for expensive candles from time to time and have not found them to have good ‘throw’
Bath & Body works candles are still my fav
anon
Same here. In my town, there’s this super-fancy artisanal brand that people rave about. It has quite the instagram following nationally, too. Honest to blog, I’m still mad at how much I spent on that candle when it wasn’t even as good as the BB&B ones I already own. At least I supported a small business in my community, I guess, but I probably won’t repurchase.
NOLA
I find Bath & Body Works candle scents to be too perfumey for me, no matter the scent, but I am very sensitive to scent. My favorites are Pier 1 and Yankee. Nothing fancy.
Katie
I bought a Nest candle at Nordstrom as a special treat to myself and it was amazing. That said, if Bath and Body Works made the same scent (they do not), I’d go with their version.
Pompom
Voluspa has always had good throw for me. I like when my house smells like Anthro. Mokkara, White Cade Lavendar, and Blue Capri are my faves.
Illume Woodfire candles are my favorite “holiday” scent in that they don’t smell like cookies, cinnamon, trees, or other too-risky-this-will-smell-like-crap scents. It’s essentially the light scent of a wood burning fire.
Anonymous
I am a candle freak. Diptyque, Jo Malone, and Nest have the best throw imo.
Anonymous
These names keep coming up – are they really worth the cost? I’m not averse to it for this special purchase.
Cat
I only have experience with Diptyque of these three, but they are SUPER long lasting plus you don’t need to burn them for very long to circulate the scent (is that “throw”?).
Lizbet
Yankee Candle. Good throw and the candles stay scented for a long time!
Sunflower
Votivo candles
Paddywax
Paddywax candles are amazing and hand poured. The salted grapefuit one has the most incredible throw.
Also, if you are ever in Nashville, you can pour your own at Candle Bar.
Anonymous
I like Burn.
Anonymous
If you’re Canadian, I really like the candles sold by indigo (the indigo branded ones)