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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 148 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Contrast Lapel Wool Crepe Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Narciso Rodriguez Contrast Lapel Wool Crepe Blazer | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I love the black and white details and the streamlined shape to this gorgeous wool crepe blazer. (I also love the silk shell with the keyhole, pictured beneath it.)  It's $2,195 at Nordstrom. Happy Monday! Narciso Rodriguez Contrast Lapel Wool Crepe Blazer Here are a few lower-priced alternatives (one, two, three) and a plus-size option (and also a longline plus version, colors reversed). Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

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Comments

  1. JJTT

    Lovely blazer, but this model seems to have the same problem I do: gorilla arms.

    Anyone else have long arms and an average torso? Tall tops are usually too long in the torso for me, but regular long-sleeved tops are always too short in the sleeves. Any good recs for brands that make sleeves slightly on the long side?

    • Anon

      Her arms are proportional. When you’re standing straight up your hands should come below your hip to about where hers are. I think the sleeves on this jacket are just short.

      For tops, you could buy talls and just get the bottom hemmed an inch or so or tuck them in.

      • NYNY

        Agree. The description doesn’t say bracelet sleeves, but I noted immediately that the sleeves hit right at the jacket hem, when they usually hit below the hem on a 25″ jacket.

        That said, I’m no help on your question. I’m on the border of petite and regular sizes, and love shorter sleeves on jackets because I don’t have to alter them.

    • anon

      I have short arms and have a problem with sleeves being too long with Pendleton and Talbots.

      • ELL

        I have longish arms. (I’m 5’10”.) Talbots sleeves are not remotely long enough for me. I often do BR tops. And I wear a lot of 3/4 sleeves.

    • Mpls

      I have long arms (6 ft wing span) and a short torso (all my height is in my legs), which translates to a 34 or 35 inch sleeve length. I usually have decent luck with Banana Republic non-tall knit tops (I don’t really buy many woven fabric tops), though I haven’t noticed excessive torso length in most of their tall tops. The last jcrew suit I bought (last year, maybe?) I think I actually kept the regular jacket because the sleeves on the tall were too long (that never happens to me).

    • Senior Attorney

      I have T Rex arms so jackets that claim to have bracelet sleeves are long-sleeved on me. So this would be perfect. If I had four figures to drop on a blazer, that is.

    • MJ

      I have gorilla arms. 5’11” with a 6′ 5″ wingspan and 35″(ish) inseam. Very short torso. I actually think 3/4 sleeves look fine most of the year. I wear a lot of t-shirts from Eddie Bauer for casual wear, Boden has short torsos (but not long arms), BR suit jackets in Tall (I won’t buy JCrew suits anymore bc they are not lined). AT tops are sometimes long enough too. My dress shirts are all Brooks Brothers. I buy a lot of cashmere sweaters and “stretch” the sleeves when the sweaters are wet. Works well. Hope this helps.

    • E

      I’m 5’11” with a 6′ wingspan and the sleeve length on Loft’s regular blazers is long enough for me. My torso is also average. I ordered their tall blazers as well and they weren’t too overwhelming in the torso. I actually stick to knits and short sleeve blouses because of my arms and linebacker shoulders as I like to call them (they don’t look wide but they dont fit in anything). Long sleeve blouses always pull at the shoulders for me when I’m making any movement.

  2. And the model says

    Hello, I’ll be your server this evening. Would you like any recommendations from our wine list?

    • Rogue Banker

      A nice sweet white for me, please. :P

      I think this wouldn’t look nearly so waiter-ish if it were paired with some kind of color, instead of straight black and white. Throw a nice saturated teal or burnt orange under that jacket and I am so here for it – but as is, yeah, she looks like she should be carrying a menu.

    • Bonnie

      I think this jacket could be styled in a cute way. It would look much better with a solid sheath dress and black and white heels.

  3. need some advice

    Does anyone go through periods were you just find your spouse annoying. He isn’t really doing anything objectively wrong- I just feel like he has been talking all the time lately and sometimes I just feel so annoyed and it makes me feel really cold towards. Part of the problem is he is out of work, but his new position starts next week so there is light at the end of the tunnel. I think he is probably lonely during the day but lately I just feel like he can’t do anything right, I feel like I am getting annoyed or mad at just the smallest infractions. It makes me feel pretty awful writing it out. Does anyone have any advice, commiseration, or just it will get better every couple goes through small patches like this?

    • RR

      I think that everyone goes through this to a certain extent. You spend years with a person, and you are likely to be annoyed by them sometimes. That said, I do think it can cross the line where you are just perpetually annoyed, and that can be a relationship issue. But, yes, I go through periods where my spouse annoys me. We’ve been married 16 years, and I’m not worried about our marriage, but sometimes he annoys me. Just like my friends annoy me and my parents annoy me and my kids annoy me. And I’m sure I annoy him.

    • NYNY

      My DH works from home, and sometimes I end up being his only non-electronic contact for several days, so I know what you’re going through. I come home, sapped from work and needing a little time for myself, and he’s there, needing human interaction. We’ve learned that I need to ask him to back off if I need a little break before we talk, and if he hasn’t spoken to anyone else all week, that he needs to be proactive about reaching out to friends.

    • brokentoe

      It sounds like there have been some real stressors in your life that can strain any relationship. But even absent these stressors, I have learned (married for 34 years) that there are natural ebbs and flows in a marriage. I can remember at various points during my marriage standing in Hallmark stores, trying to buy obligatory anniversary, birthday or Valentine’s cards that I really wasn’t feeling. It felt awful and almost fraudulent to stand there, trying to find a card that didn’t say too much or too little – it was really hard. But the good news (at least for us) is that these feelings did not last. Be patient with yourself and with him. It sounds like things are looking up and that alone may turn the tide on these feelings. Good luck.

      • Senior Attorney

        OMG are you me? I wish I had a nickel for every time I stood in the card aisle searching in vain for a card that said “Happy Anniversary to my husband, whom I can sort of stand the sight of. Most days.”

      • AnonLawMom

        Ha! This. One year I just didn’t even get an anniversary card. I couldn’t even fake it. But things are good now!

    • Anon

      Oh yea! Been there. A lot of it for me was tied into my anxiety (it made me very snappy and I tended to flip out about things that weren’t really his fault). I did a year-long treatment on Lexapro which helped me control those tendencies. I will still mentally get annoyed, but usually I can take a minute and realize I am probably being unreasonable and reign it in before I act/speak on it. I think it also tends to be worse when we are around each other for significantly long periods of time (I think this is typical anytime you are non-stop around any person), which doesn’t happen very often since we both work and have hobbies.

      • need some advice

        thanks all- it really helps to have a little sympathy! we have been around each other ALOT- I get almost no time to myself. He is good about respecting when I ask for it- but it would just be nice to come home to an empty house once in a while.

    • Sunshine

      Right before I got married, my aunt said, “Remember, you might not always like him, but you’ll always love him.” After 10 years into marriage, I sure do know what she means.

  4. SuziStockbroker

    Some days it is really soul destroying how sexist the finance industry is, still.

    That is all.

    • Moonstone

      I’m going to channel the Seventies for a minute and say: “Hang in here, sister!” I believe that you are making that industry better by working in it.

      • TO Lawyer

        +a million – working in a sexist industry is the only way to change it, I believe. You’re doing a huge service to all the other women in finance, as well as the women who will come after you.

        FWIW, I’m occasionally shocked by how insidious sexism still is – it’s more casual sexism now but still hard to take when you’re the only woman in the room.

      • SuziStockbroker

        Thank you. Some days, and what would happen to my clients if I left, is the only thing that gets me here.

    • M

      I attended a big investment industry event last week and it was frustrating to see all the models in mini-dresses (with a blazer, so work appropriate?) directing attendees. I just feel like it is an unhelpful visual if you want to be taken seriously as a woman in the same venue

      • SuziStockbroker

        My favourite is the “charity events” (that we have no choice but to go to), where the servers are Hooters waitresses, in uniform.

          • SuziStockbroker

            Oh yeah, and one of the other women got her picture taken with the “Hooters Girls” and the men thought that was “really cool”.

          • Anon

            HUGE EYEROLL. Sorry. That’s just super annoying to have to put up with.

            Also, men don’t think that is “super cool”, but boys sure do.

      • ITDS

        I was at the DC car show last week, and was please to see that some of the trucks had male models modeling them. It was nice to see men treated as eye candy.

      • SoCalAtty

        I’m pleased to report that, after attending SHOT Show, the firearms industry trade show, this month, “booth girls” are all but extinct there. What they had instead was women competitive shooters at the various booths that we could meet!

        Much better than in years past. There were a few, but they were definitely in the minority. It looked like those vendors were also taken less seriously, and got less foot traffic. So that’s something!

    • LilyS

      Not finance, but I’ve been working on my bike over the weekend. Went to the bike shop at lunchtime, knowing exactly what I needed, and got mansplained to.

      • Sonnet

        Once a male colleague accused *me* of mansplaining and then went on to describe in great detail what that word means!!!

    • MJ

      So sorry. I quit banking and being a trader after two bad experiences in a row. (And not just personal bad experiences–looking at the “culture” and realizing that I really couldn’t get ahead due to institutionalized sexism.) Men can be such neanderthals. Casual sexism is awful but overt sexism (when you need to put a smile on at work) is even worse.

    • Preach.

      Yep. I just love being seen as the eye candy/window dressing with some investors, despite my Ivy League degree.

      • AnonLawMom

        The worst. I will never forget being a junior associate and being forced to serve wine at a networking event with the other young female associates all the while smiling at the “this will bring clients to our booth” comments. Yuck.

    • Yes!

      I work in a similarly male dominated field and the constant low level of sexism that permeates everything is exhausting.

      Hang in there!

      I try to feel better be focusing on how much I am changing my organization/industry. I don’t want to just break through the glass ceiling for myself but completely shatter it so that others can flow through more easily after me.

      After I took over the hiring committee for my unit, diversity has increased by 15% in one year and our hires are excellent. I now have a rep within the industry of attracting good talent to my teams. Amazing how you can get so many more good people when you don’t just focus on white men, *eyeroll*

      • SuziStockbroker

        Yes, when you don’t just focus one one portion of the talent pool, it is amazing what great people you find!
        Thanks, from all of us, for doing that :)

  5. Anonymous

    Sorry for the Seventeen style post, but I’d love to hear anecdotes/advice from people who were single for a long time and then found themselves in a relationship and how they found navigating that. I was single and not really looking for several years and recently met someone and it looks like it could be quite serious. I am very much enjoying it and it feels very easy and comfortable, but I’m very used to my little life and trying to balance another element in that is something that could take a bit of getting used to!

    • Sydney Bristow

      I was single for 10 years and met my now-fiancé 3 years ago. It was definitely weird at first since I was so used to making decisions that only affected me. It was helpful to talk about it. But for the most part if describe our relationship the same as you and say it felt easy and comfortable so it all worked out fine. To some extent I think it can be a benefit since you aren’t inadvertently comparing things to a recent relationship. Everything can happen on its own terms. Just keep the communication open and know it’s ok to say something feels weird because you are out of practice.

    • Cb

      I’ve struggled with the idea of taking someone else into account when making big life decisions. I’m finishing up my PhD and am headed out onto a pretty competitive job market and I’m used to being pretty geographically flexible and making decisions independently. The idea that I might have to turn down an awesome job because it isn’t a great choice for our family / future plans is a bit terrifying. No real advice as it is something we’re in the midst of navigating but a bit of solidarity.

      • MJ

        Wait?!?! Family?!?!? Are you expecting!?!?!?

        Also, my friend posted pix of her Edinburgh visit this weekend, and I thought of you, living it up in Scotland. Lucky dog.

        • Anon

          Not Cb, but I also refer to me + husband as family. We’ll have kids one day, but we’re a family now, just the two of us. If I’m talking about the two of us plus the dog and cat, then we’re “the pack”. :)

          • Cb

            Nope, no baby here! Just a little family of three- me, him, and the cat.

            Edinburgh is lovely – we had sunshine yesterday!

    • Anon

      I am dealing with something similar so I’m curious about replies too! I am so used to being independent and I’m struggling to keep my own life up and try to help this budding relationship along.

    • Baconpancakes

      Take it slow, and let your partner know you need to take it slow – either in bed or in feelings. Make sure to continue scheduling your girls’ nights or solo Saturday pedicures or whatever it was you really enjoyed before the start of the relationship. Make sure you have at least one day/night of You Time a week. This will keep you from feeling overwhelmed, and feeling like you’re lost in the relationship.

      Don’t feel like you have to see your SO every day. Integrating someone else into your life can be a little tricky, and just remember that you don’t have to make your life fit your SO. Sometimes your SO needs to be the one to change to fit your life. (Not sure if you need this advice, but I know I could’ve used it when I started a relationship after a long time single.)

      That said, you will need to make sure you’re both on the same page in a lot of new ways, and not spend every night out with coworkers if your SO is planning on eating dinner with you, not booking ticket for yourself to go home for the holidays/vacation without asking what your SO wants to do, and not assuming your SO will be able to know what you need and want.

      And congrats! Enjoy it.

      • Pretty Primadonna

        You give very good advice all the time, Bacon pancakes. I look forward to reading your responses! :-)

        • Baconpancakes

          Wow, thanks! I feel like I’ve learned a lot from thissite, and petty squabbles aside, I’m really glad to have found this community.

        • Senior Attorney

          I agree! I had a big response all typed out, and then I just thought “or… what Baconpancakes said!” (Especially the “take it slow” part!)

    • SH

      I was in a similar situation – I had my tidy little life, it was good, I could almost take or leave another person in it. And then I met my current SO and my tidy little life wasn’t so tidy anymore. At first it was hard. But then I realized that whenever I want to put something in my life, something else has to change anyway. For example, I got a a job, so I couldn’t go to my noon spin class anymore, so I had to go in the evenings, so I was eating dinner later, and I couldn’t watch all my shows before I had to go to bed. But this was OK, because having a job and paying my bills is good. It was the same thing – I have to move my routines around a bit, but that’s OK because SO is good. Not thinking of it like it’s something that I have to squeeze in somewhere but thinking of it more like how it’s something good for which I *want* to make room definitely helped.

      • Ellen

        Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love pricey Monday’s and this outfit. I have short arms and a longer body (with a tuchus) so I am not sure where I fit in.

        As for the OP, yes I can relate. For year’s I was singel, and did NOT have a man in my life that I was serius with. Of course there were always alot of guys nuzzeleing around and I could have dated many guy’s, but did NOT b/c nearly all just wanted me for my body, and NOT my mind. I was NOT (and am still NOT) interested in haveing sweatey guy’s on top of me, huffeing and puffeing, and then rolling off me and then NOT calling the next day, leaveing me to clean up their messes. So once I figured out that men onley wanted to see me without my clotheing and then just use their winkie’s to satisfy themselfes, I said NO MAS! I decided that I would focus on ME, and NOT just on being a sexueal recepticle for men who did NOT respect me for my MIND.

        Then dad started pusheing me to get MARRIED, and Alan Sheketovits came along. He was takeing a CPA course, so Dad said I should take him serious, even tho he was kind of schleppey. Initially, I did NOT mind him, but once I let him have sex with me, he started getting very selfish, thinkeing onley of himself, and HIS needs, and not careing whether I was pleased with him and his performance (which was usueally sub-parr). Finally, I got very annoyed with him for constantley berateing me and alway’s makeing a mess in my bedroom and drinkeing to excess then throweing up on my floor. FOOEY! So I finally stepped up and dumped him. No more sex with him or any other man who does NOT respect me for my MIND. I find that men who onley want sex do NOT even listen to me and my idea’s and position’s on politic’s.

        I am not alone, after all. Even Rosa has issue’s with Ed! She is alot prettier then me, but Ed did stray even tho she bore him 3 kid’s. He went out with his drunk freind’s and evidentelly let a woman do stuff with his winkie, tho he SWEAR’s did NOT have sex with her. I am not sure what definition he uses for “haveing sex”, but it might be pusheing the envelope. Rosa is insisting on STD testing and she is NOT even touching his winkie until after all tests come back. Ed swear’s that his winkie stayed above the belt, but I do NOT think that mean’s he is in the clear. He swear’s he will NEVER let another woman touch his winkie either, and that may satisfy Rosa, but NOT me.

        Any man that let’s other women have at his winkie is NOT to be trusted again. Am I wrong? What does the HIVE think? Am I being to strict? Can’t all men just act a littel more responsibel once we MARRY them? Why is haveing other women so important to men like Ed? DOUBEL FOOEY!

    • AMB

      I’m in very similar place right now and all this advice is so helpful! I know I need to be a bit more open with the guy I’ve been seeing but I’m so used to keeping my own counsel it’s a hard adjustment…

    • OP

      Thanks, all, this is all very good advice. Maybe it’s because I’m now a bit older (33) and he is a grown-up (37) and we are both very candid people, but talking about this stuff seems very easy and I’m definitely trying to take that advice. I have a much more active social life than he does in terms of planning (he does plenty of stuff but at short notice, whereas I have brunches and drinks scheduled with friends for weeks in advance) so it’s more a case of having enough time to see him, rather than too much!

      • Baconpancakes

        Are you me? My SO hates scheduling things more than 30 minutes ahead of time. Drives me nuts. My friends and I scheduled our NYE party two months in advance in order to get reservations, and he was floored we would plan so far ahead. As it was, our first choice was already booked.

        In this case, I’d compromise, and schedule some things with friends he would enjoy, let him know he’s invited, and remind him a couple times about the plans you have, because if he’s a last-minute planner, he’s probably not used to remembering plans. Don’t take it personally. Then, purposefully leave occasional day/weekend open with the intention of just spending time with him, and tell him you’re up for whatever. If he makes last minute plans, great, enjoy the brunch/coffee/dinner with his friends, and if not, just enjoy the time with him.

        • OP

          Good advice, as always – he does write plans down, which is something, I suppose, but he also has more friends who are available at a moment’s notice to go for drinks or whatever, so he doesn’t need to bother so much, whereas trying to get together with my married college friends with kids, for example, is usually a six-months-in-advance endeavour.

        • Senior Attorney

          Yes! New Guy is a giant spur-of-the-moment planner whereas I like to have things scheduled way in advance. I remember one of our first dates was a dinner party at his house on a Saturday night. He invited me on Thursday, and I was utterly convinced that I was the backup date after the original date fell through for some reason. After I’d known him for a while it became clear that nope, that’s how he rolls — decides to have a dinner party and makes it happen three days later!

          OP, would it help to set a standing date? Like, every Friday night or Wednesday or whatever?

    • Amy H.

      I met my now-husband when I was 33 and he was 32 and we were both very much enjoying being single. We joke now that if we had been living in the same city at the time we met, we never would have made it as a couple. We needed that enforced time and distance to take it slowly.

      The things that made it easier to merge two very independent adults’ lifestyles when we did move in together:
      1. Don’t be afraid to have separate nights out and occasionally even separate vacations/weekends away.
      2. Get as large an apt. as you can afford! It really helps to have space that each of you can retreat to — even when you’re not fighting at all.

  6. need a coat--vicarious shopping help

    I need to replace a knee-length down coat that needs zipper work (zipper would be more than $60 to replace, so I may as well be looking for new).

    I’m not wedded to down, but it has to keep me warm in single-digits with brutal winds. Knee length or longer, hoping for under $200. “Gear” is fine–it does not have to be a dress coat.

    • Miss Behaved

      Land’s End! Right now they have 60% off all outerwear. My coat is from Land’s End and I got my mom one for Christmas.

    • AIMS

      What size do you need? A lot of coats are sold out at this point in the season.

      I was on a similar quest and tried on a LOT of down coats from $ to $$$$ hoping to find the one to keep me warm but not feeling dowdy, and the winner ended up being a Lauren Ralph Lauren coat with a faux fur hood. It seems to be sold out online but this somewhat similar one is still available in size small: http://bit.ly/1K3qF53

      I have to say that between this coat and a warm hat and scarf, I’ve actually been comfortable all winter long, including today when most of snow and slush covered NYC seems to be truly miserable.

      • Jdubs

        Ehh… I have that Calvin Klein coat (purchased for cheaper at Costco)… its not a very quality coat. I think you can do better for under $200! Its not really warm (definitely not for single digits, not wind proof, and it leaks down onto dark colored tops)

      • Niktaw

        I’d stay away from “packable” coats. Sure, they fold better and are lighter, but they are just not as warm.
        I wear a Kenneth Cole down coat that I bought at Macy’s a couple years ago and I am really happy with it. I couldn’t find this style online, but it is pretty generic.

      • E

        yeah i dont trust fashion brands that attempt to make down coats. they NEVER look and feel as warm as they should be. I have the North Face metropolis which I absolutely love. I just love north face in general because it seems to last so long. +1 to lands end, eddie bauer and ll bean as well

    • SoCalAtty

      If you have a Burlington coat factory near you, I got a nice long down coat there for about $100. I was really pleasantly surprised at what they had in stock. If not that, I’ll second LE or maybe Eddie Bauer. Their down is good quality.

    • N.C. anon

      It’s only $25 over your budget: Check out the TNA Britannia via Aritzia. I have the Bancroft (I really love it), which is only available in XXS, but there are several sizes and colors left in the Britannia, which I’ve also heard good things about.

    • Gail the Goldfish

      I’ve got a down coat from LL Bean that’s super warm. I don’t see the exact coat on their website anymore, but it looks like they have several options that might work.

  7. Miss Behaved

    The patriots win and a snow day (the third one in less than a week). It doesn’t get any better than this.

    Woke up this morning with an alcohol-fueled migraine. Checked the university’s website. Took my migraine pills and went back to bed. Yay.

    • Rogue Banker

      Take the good days where they come – I’d give anything for a snow day today! :P
      (But HELL YEAH PATS~ Good times…)

    • E

      nearly 20″ in the chicago area and i have a junk food hangover from last nights festivities. safe to say im not going anywhere today.

  8. Cb - vaccines

    Thanks everyone for the vaccine advice last week! We’ve done a bit of digging and it turns out he was vaccinated against polio as a baby and had mumps as a child. He’s seeing the doctor this week to get up to date on everything else.

    • tesyaa

      If you’re unsure if he’s immune to some of the other viruses, a blood titer will give you the answer.

  9. Buyer/Seller Commission

    I’m finding confusing and conflicting information out there… help?

    A home listed on Redfin says “Buyer Broker Compensation 2.0%”. I am in a market that, as a buyer, the seller will not pay closing costs (ie: I can’t attempt to negotiate that into my offer). That said, who pays this 2.0% and who gets it? Does the seller pay it and it goes only to the seller broker? Or, do buyer and seller split the cost, and then buyer agent and seller agent split the commission?

    • Diana Barry

      Seller always pays the broker fee, IME. If there are 2 agents then they split it.

      • AIMS

        That’s my experience as well, but without knowing OP’s location it’s hard to say if there aren’t exceptions.
        My guess would be that the seller of this particular listing either negotiated a reduced commission which is why that is listed and OP’s broker would either have to agree to that reduced sum or OP would have to make up the commission in some form or another, or more likely, this is a for sale by owner situation and owner will does not want to pay above 2 percent.

      • ACD

        This — even if it’s a FSBO. For traditional transactions, it’s usually 6% (3%/3% listing/selling agent). New construction is often different, and in certain markets where non-traditional brokerages have gained some market share, it’s more variable.

        That being said, Redfin is sort of all-bets-off but if it’s stating “buyer broker compensation” then the selling agent will be getting that 2%, not splitting it.

    • Anonymous

      The seller pays this fee to the buyers agent. The seller pays both agents, the standard is 6%, split 3% to the buyer’s agent and 3% to the seller’s agent (or used to be, depending on your market, some areas 2.5% to each agent seems to be the new norm). 2% to the buyer’s agent is a little low, and some buyer’s agents may have wording in their contracts with the buyer that the buyer will pay the difference to make the commission a full 3%.

    • OP

      This is Boston-area. So, on a $400k house, it’s an $8k fee. I’m told “do not expect your seller to pay closing costs”, so I’m assuming that means this fee is mine to swallow? Or does “closing costs” mean my loan closing costs, appraisal, inspection, etc?

      • mascot

        Commission isn’t part of your closing costs. If you look at a sample HUD-1 settlement statement, you can see the types of costs for the loan and title. The lender can also give you an estimate.

      • January

        I’m not in Boston, but in my area, “closing costs” refers to the latter. Typically, the seller pays the broker’s fees (seller’s and buyer’s). From the buyer’s perspective, the agents’ fees essentially are part of the price of the property. Closing costs are separate.

      • Adele

        Commission is not closing costs. Closing costs are all the costs associated with closing – fees, insurance, etc. Commission is commission.

      • Anon

        That’s not part of closing costs, it’s the commission that the seller pays. 2% is a little lower than the standard rate for a buyer’s agent, so that note is in there for your agent as a fyi. If you do not have an agent, you may be able to negotiate a lower price.

    • mascot

      In my area, total commission is usually 5-6% of sale price. It is then split, usually equally, between the buyer’s and seller’s brokers. Seller is responsible for paying all of the commission.

  10. S in Chicago

    The sleeves on the Kardashian Kollection option actually look even more off with the model’s arm length. (But at least now I know how to pull of the yoga pant, bandage top, and blazer look for casual Fridays!)

    • Kute

      I’m not sure where you’re posting from, but you might want to wait until spring for the bandage top. And pointy-toed heels or more of a bootie look?

  11. Adele

    NYC t/j – I have a friend coming in from out of town for the weekend and it’s her birthday. She’s had a rough year and I’d like to take her out. We’re in our early 30s but whereas I am much more of a dinner and a show type of person she wants to have a “really, really, really” good time and shot down my idea of going to see Sleep No More or something similar. I’m in NYC. I would like to treat her to a fun night out but I don’t want to go somewhere ridiculous with a velvet rope and a bouncer, which is what she leans towards. What are all the cool kids doing these days? Is there a happy medium of a place that won’t make me cringe but will make my friend happy?

    • platinomad

      I really think all the cool kids are at Sleep No More (ending basically at 10!), and going up to the Gallow Green after for very hip drinks and letting this guide them to various locations in meatpacking/chelsea/west village. This sort of makes me think of the hip speakeasy like cocktail bars as a good happy medium (Employees Only, Little Branch, the Garret). I think a happy medium is an early “cool” show like Sleep No More or Comedy at a cool place (UCB? Comedy Cellar? Gotham?), cocktails at hip places, and then maybe somewhere where people dance (this is not my area of expertise). For hipper nights and dancing, I always end up in williamsburg. I think Babys Alright is a fun venue, and if your friend may like to make out with a hipster, Union Pool seems to always make that happen, along with sweaty dancing.

      These may not be perfect, but some thoughts! haha.

    • SC

      We left NYC several years ago, so I have no idea what the cool kids are doing these days. But my SO, who is neither dinner-and-a-show nor velvet-rope-and-bouncer type, used to have a great time at Comedy Cellar and getting drinks at one of the hip, speakeasy cocktail bars. He also really liked the Bourgeois Pig, which does fondu and other snacky stuff instead of a traditional dinner.

  12. seattle in april

    Hotel recs: quick–I have my choice between Sheraton Seattle, Homewood Suites/Hilton on Pike St. or Hyatt at Olive 8

    • cbackson

      Sheraton. It’s fairly generic, but has a better location than Olive 8 and the workout room rocks. Never stayed at the Hilton, though.

    • FormerPhotog

      Oh the Sheraton. I am sad that I don’t get to stay there for ECCC this year. Love their gym, their beds, and the walkability to donuts at TopPot, 2 locations of Cupcake Royale, Homegrown, and all the other lovely places I head straight to.

    • lucy stone

      Sheraton was great, walkable to all the stuff downtown. It’s generic but clean and the gym is pretty great.

    • Amy H.

      Haven’t stayed at the other two but I loved the Hyatt at Olive 8. Really lovely rooms and baths and a huge pool/fitness room. And you can walk to the 5th Ave. Top Pot Donuts! We loved the location but were there to see a show at the Paramount (across the street).

  13. NYNY

    Edit – this was in response to Adele above.

    How about a place like Brooklyn Bowl or the Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club? Neither is a velvet rope EDM club, but both are interactive, social, and kind of a scene. Or you could go to a “hidden” cocktail bar like the Garret or PDT.

  14. anon

    Anyone have experience doing multiple dating sites in your 30s? And/or using apps like Hinge?

    I’m finding that one site isn’t really giving me as many options as I’d like, so I want to add another one or two. For reference, I’m on OKC. I used to get a lot of responses, but not as many lately. My mom keeps pushing me to do eHarmony, but even though I DO want a serious relationship, ideally one that leads to marriage, I cannot stand their advertising and it feels too traditional and conservative for me.

    Thoughts?

    • cbackson

      I’m on multiple sites. In my city, though eHarmony was a bad choice – it was a less-educated, far more traditional and older crowd and couldn’t identify good matches for me (literally, I went days at a time without getting an eHarmony match that actually fit my criteria, which were pretty broad – eHarmony identifies for you if a match actually falls within your parameters or not).

      • anon

        Interesting. I wondered about that. OKC feels like my demo, but no one emails me back! I’m getting a complex.

        • cbackson

          OKC seems to go through waves – for a while I was getting great dates there, but now it’s all “U R so hot” emails.

      • Zelda

        I had a similar experience with eHarmony. I’ve heard great things from people in other cities but it was really unhelpful for me. I had great responses on plenty of fish until it randomly deleted my account for no reason! According to my internet research (ie google), there are lots of other people out there who had the same issue. After my second account (to replace the first one) was deleted, I gave up.

      • Scout

        Yup same experience with eharmony. I was hoping eharmony would have more “serious” guys versus the guys who send vaguely creepy messages from Match but was disappointed. My experience very similar to cbackson with who was on it as well.

        I just downloaded the coffee meets bagel app and I like it so far. It’s been much more what I’m looking for. It has the convenience of tinder but less of a hook up vibe.

    • Marie

      No personal experience, but a close friend here has had some luck with Hinge. She says it’s much more geared towards relationships than casual hookups (versus, say, Tinder) and has met some really cool guys through it. We’re late twenties, so maybe a little younger than you but not by much. Most of the guys she’s met through Hinge have been in their 30s.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve used multiple apps/sites simultaneously and I think what you’ll find is that there are a lot of people doing the same thing–I notice tons of overlap in the guys. There are enough new ones to make it worth trying a few different avenues, but just saying that you are certainly not the only one who will be doing this.

      I consider myself pretty traditional and conservative and still hated eHarmony because it drags out the communication process unnecessarily IMO. I’d rather chat for a little bit and then grab a drink to see if the guy is interesting at all in person, because I’ve wasted wayyyyy too much time writing and reading multi-page messages with lots of back-and-forths, only to meet the guy and he can’t stop staring at his shoes or talking about his money. I realize EH lets you mutually agree to skip, but my impression from friends who have also done EH is that requesting to skip the “steps” is not looked favorably upon by a lot of the people who self-select into EH specifically for this “more serious approach.”

    • N.C. anon

      I met my husband on OKCupid, as did a close friend of mine. However, this may be a know-your-city kind of thing. I don’t care for E-Harmony and if you’re already averse to it, why sink money into it? Perhaps try Match or Plenty of Fish?

      Also, hard to tell from your original message, but have you tried initiating messages with people on OKC? Anecdotal, but I selected people with higher percentage matches than who selected me.

      • anon

        Yes, and seriously no one writes me back. I write totally normal, 1-2 sentence emails just commenting on something in their profile. I’ve had multiple friends review my profile, and I think it’s decent, and my pics are as good as I’ve looked… I don’t know what the deal is. It’s messing with my head!

        Meanwhile, men in other states or countries message me things like, “Hey, sexy” or “We would make beautiful children together.”

        …

        • N.C. anon

          Ugh, my sympathies for your experience. I remember having some of the disappointing no responses as well. Maybe take a break from OKC and come back at it later?

          • anon

            Thanks for your kind words. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be such a downer! I’m just going to keep at it, maybe mixing up the sites.

            It just takes one… (or so I keep telling myself…)

          • N.C. anon

            anon– You’re not a downer! I went through something similar myself on OKC. Had three terrible dates in a row, including one that should have been a good match but was just completely devoid of chemistry. I literally shut down my account and took a year off before starting a new account from scratch. First date with the new profile was with my now husband.

            Re: It just takes one, I told myself something similar; dating sucks until it doesn’t. Good luck!

        • Anonymous

          Anon from above here. This was my experience with both OKC and Match–the guys I found interesting and sent messages to never responded, and I was overwhelmed with the deluge of messages from guys who were totally inappropriate (in terms of age, geography, and/or sending lewd messages)

        • cbackson

          Yeah, there is a lot of that on OKC. It’s free, you know?

          I’m on Match now and liking it pretty well. It’s like the Honda Civic of dating sites, if that makes sense, but that works for me at this point in life.

      • platinomad

        Its funny, I lived in DC a few years ago and LOVED okcupid. Lots of quality guys, lots people responded to my messages and plenty messaged me. Fast forward a few years to okc in NYC, and its the worst (basically what the OP has been describing). This briefly (and irrationally) launched me into wondering if I had suddenly gotten too old or less attractive in some way, but I have come to the conclusion that okc is on the downswing generally and specifically in nyc. Most of my friends say okc is “over” and everyone has moved on to apps like Hinge or Tinder. This sort of makes me sad because I appreciated the chance to get to know people a little before spending the time to meet them (not forever, but okc profiles say a lot while these other apps are mostly just pictures). But I guess this is one arena where one must follow the crowd.

        I’m a proponent of as many dating sites/apps as you personally feel you can manage. Why not? And, as I think my story demonstrates, try not to take responses/messages (or lack there of) to heart. It totally ebbs and flows and has nothing to do with you.

        • anon

          Thank you for saying that! I kept wondering if I had gotten too old or something. I didn’t remember it being so lackluster the last time around. But you’re probably right. Everyone’s on apps now.

          • platinomad

            Honestly, I think OKC is slowly becoming myspace to the mobile apps facebook.

    • January

      I wrote out a long response about eHarmony that got eaten. I tried it when I was 29 and went on a bunch of dates, but nothing stuck before I got sick of it and gave up. The main advantage to their guided communication system, in my view, is that it prevents the “UR so hot” messages. And that’s about it. It doesn’t tell you more about the person – the first few steps are so generic, you really won’t get a sense of the guy’s personality at all until you get to real e-mailing, and by then you may feel you have to go on a date because you’ve invested so much time already. As for eHarmony’s rep as being for the site for serious-minded folks, I don’t know –I do think it may be a proxy for being more traditional/conservative, which may or may not work for you. And I say this as someone who’s kind of a mix of traditional/conservative and not so much.

      All of that being said, you’ll never really know unless you try. But if you already think it’s too traditional/conservative for you, I suspect you’ll find you’re right.

    • Anon

      I tried eHarmony because I felt like I kept seeing the same people on the other sites and I was desperate. There were more conservative people on there, but also people who were more serious about meeting up. I weirdly had the most casual sex from it, even though the pool of matches was much smaller, and they only fed you a few at a time. Their communication system is pretty silly, but it makes it non-intimidating I suppose if you have trouble writing messages to people (and you can also skip it). In my city, there were a lot of engineers from a big company on it. My advice is to try a few dating sites for the most exposure- okcupid and match, and eharmony if you’re not having luck.

    • Anonymous

      I met my husband on chemistry.com. It was a little less conservative than E-harmony, which I tried without success.

  16. E

    threadjack: i need to help my mom find a dress for a summer wedding. I know it’s early. she lost 70lbs and will probably continue to lose but she’s taller (5’9″), apple shaped with a big butt (sry dont know how else to word it) and a size 16. she looks great! but she’s out of work right now so money is on the tighter side which is why i want to start looking for dresses for her now. Plus being taller, i want to stalk the tall sizes online which requires foresight. i guess what i most need help with is what kind of dress would best work for her shape? i have a hard time dressing her apple shape but we’ve had a lot of luck with separates.

    • lucy stone

      Boden has a lot that might work. My mom is similarly shaped and sized and has had great luck with dresses at Macy’s.

    • Bonnie

      She may not needs a tall sizes at her height. IME evening dresses are really long. Nordstrom Rack is great for weddings wear.

  17. First time home buyer

    Considering buying my first home and need to educate myself on the process. Any good resources you all would recommend? This is in FL if at all relevant. Thanks!

    • BB

      Home Buying for Dummies – seriously. Has all the basic info you’ll need to know.

  18. If anyone is still here ...

    Is it ok to ask an expecting mom where she is registered or do you have to ask her family?

    • DCR

      It’s ok to just ask the mom. But, if your worried about it, most of the baby registry sites are easy to search. You could just try searching for them

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