ByKat Hours Updated
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Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Stripe Sweater Jacket

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Stripe Sweater JacketNormally, I hate beige, stripes, and all of those nautical-looking sweater jackets. And yet: something about me loves this sweater jacket. Is it the way the color on the cuffs exactly lines up with the solid color at the base of the jacket? The cascading lapels? The single button? I'm even sold on the tank top beneath it, which matches it perfectly. The whole shebang, alas, is rather expensive: $1075 for the sweater and $295 for the tank. Le sigh. Stripe Sweater Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

255 Comments

  1. Wow, that is shockingly expensive. It’s beautiful. I’m just kind of shocked that anyone would pay that much for a sweater. (I know the point of splurge Monday; I’m not commenting on Kat’s choice, which I love, but rather that retailers would feel confident enough that they could sell sweaters at that price point.)

    Anyway, I am running my first half marathon this weekend. I’m a little nervous because my long run this weekend turned out to be not so long. Do you think if I ran 9 miles two weeks before the race I’ll be okay? I ran 5 miles twice this weekend. Also, what should I eat the night before and morning of the race?

    1. You will be fine. The adrenaline and crowds will get you through!

      Don’t eat a ton of pasta the night before. If you want to boost your carbs, eat a moderate amount of whole grain pasta the couple days leading up to the race, but a huge meal the night before your race will make your stomach feel terrible. The night before my half I had a tiny bit of pasta, and a medium size salad with a little protein (shrimp, because I don’t eat chicken/meat).

      The morning of, eat whatever you usually eat before your long runs. I usually wake up really early and eat a bagel with peanut butter, and then half a banana closer to race time. I eat a lot in the mornings though.

          1. I just LOL’d. I only eat half so I can save room for all the candy on the course! DUH!

          1. I eat a lot more than that if I’m sitting in a chair all day. Breakfast is my favorite. And coffee makes me really hungry.

            But having a huge breakfast in your belly before running for 2 1/2 hours is less fun.

    2. Good luck with your first half! You will have a great time — they are so fun.

      You are good with your long run. The conventional wisdom is that your longest run should be 2 weeks (some say 3) from the race, anyway, so it’s just find that you didn’t extend your distance this last weekend. If you have been and continue to taper, you will have more energy than you think on race day. And if you start feeling too tired, there’s no shame in slowing down. The best thing to do in your first race is make sure you have fun and don’t throw up when you cross the finish line!

      As for what to eat, do what you did before your 9-miler, as long as it didn’t mess with your stomach. I try to hydrate well in the few days leading up to a race, then the day and night before, I eat something light without a lot of fiber. Morning of, I’ll usually eat half a bagel with peanut butter or something similar. My advice is to do what has worked for YOU in the past. I can actually eat oatmeal the morning before working out hard, but that gives lots of people stomach issues. Same with just about any food.

      1. I almost got super excited, too, because the big marathon/half marathon in my city happens this weekend, but then I remembered that you’re in Houston?

        1. Threadjacking a threadjack — I’m looking to run a [fast] marathon in the next few weeks or so (no hills, no trails). Anyone live in a city that has a fast, flat marathon in the next few weeks?

          To the OP – ditto what everyone says. Assuming you have a decent training base (it sounds like you do), the fact that you’ve only run 9 should not be a problem. Worry about eating more carbohydrates in the days leading up to the event and don’t eat a huge meal the night before. I like chicken with pasta the night before a race (but not too much of it). Lots of water in the days leading up and try to get as many good, solid night of sleep before the race as possible. You will be nervous the night before, so if you can sleep well the night that is two nights before the race, that will go far.

          Start slow and pick it up in the second half if you feel like you can. Negative split. You can’t bank time and starting out too fast will result in a long, slow deathmarch to the finish (trust me, I’ve done it too many times that I care to remember).

          1. I think that the Green Bay marathon is mostly flat. I’m considering that one as my return to distance running in 2013.

          3. Ooooh. That National Marathon looks like a good one.

            That Green Bay one looks like a nice option. I’d imagine its not too hot in Green Bay by May?

          4. There’s a rock n’ roll marathon in New Orleans on March 4. That might be a little soon for you, but you can’t get flatter or faster than New Orleans.

          5. NOLA if you can get in (and get there) by Saturday!

            Too far out for your timing, but the Skagit Flats Marathon in WA is apparently one of the flattest certified courses in the nation. Boring as heck and heat can be an issue, but it makes pancakes look positively hilly.

          6. Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine has one of the fastest in the nation as it is almost all downhill. My husband and his friends are running it this year in May.

          7. LOL, @Anon 11:14am – no, it is certainly not too hot to run a marathon in Green Bay, in May, even with all the bizarre weather we’ve been having in Wisconsin this winter.

          1. I would prefer to run it as soon as possible. I trained for another one, which did not go well, so I’m hoping to hop in one ASAP and take advantage of having the mileage base. Also, things with work start to get crazy mid-march.

            I’m going to look for some airfare deals to NOLA. The Washington DC one would be cheaper to get to, but the timing is dicey with work.

    3. So, I’m not an expert half-marathoner by ANY stretch of the imagination, but here are my tips.

      1. Don’t know if you’re traveling for yours or leaving from your house in the morning, but try to keep your breakfast as close to what you “normally” eat as possible, while still getting a balance of carbs, protein, and fat (fat is important). Spread it out in the morning, but get the bulk of it in at least an hour before race time, which I know is tough with a really early morning start. The good part about that is that you can start hydrating early in the morning too.
      2. If you are traveling, give some thought to your meal before you leave — nothing is going to be open as early as you’re leaving! So don’t think you can run into somewhere and grab a nutri-grain bar (embarrassed foot shuffle…who would think they could do such a thing). Also, even if there will be muffins and stuff at the course, there will also be hundreds of people and you’ll need to find the place to put your beg and where the porta-potties are and whatever, you might not want to deal with ALSO tracking down your breakfast.

      3. Night before, I’d trend your meal more towards carbs. But don’t stuff yourself silly. And if you’re not one to eat a TON of pasta normally, don’t suddenly start carbo-loading just because that’s what everyone says you should do. You may just give yourself a stomach-ache.

      4. Day of race: I’d start the day in the morning mostly drinking water (and lots of it) and save gatorade and/or goo for a little later in the day just because of the risk of belly-aches again.

      Okay — have fun! Someone above was right, you’ll make it through much easier than you think!

      1. My only problem is that I usually eat a smoothie every morning, but that doesn’t seem to be a good idea given what happens every morning about an hour after I eat it . . . if you know what I mean. I guess I could wake up really early to eat it. Hmmm. I also like the bagel and peanut butter idea.

        Thanks to everyone for your suggestions and encouragement!

        1. You should wake up early enough to get what happens after you eat your smoothie/other breakfast food/whatever out of the way before the race. You REALLY do not want to have to take care of that while on the course. FWIW, my standard pre-long run and/or race breakfast is two slices of whole wheat toast with honey-butter or Nutella, and half a cup of coffee with soy milk. The night before, stick to foods you know your body will handle well.

          With your base, you should absolutely be able to finish your half. And you should be plenty well-rested, which is sometimes better than having extra mileage. As far as the race itself, negative split, negative split, negative split. My race plan for my only half broke down like this:
          Miles 1-3: goal pace +5/10 seconds
          Miles 4-9: goal pace
          Miles 10-12: goal pace -5/10 seconds
          Miles 12-finish: kick
          and it worked very well.

          Good luck!

    4. everyone is different – when i was running regularly, i’d have a clif bar and coffee about 30 minutes before a long run (8+ miles), have a couple of candies (gu chomps, clif bloks, or just plain fruit snacks) around the halfway point, and kept a gatorade/water mix in my camelback during the run, particularly if it was hot out. for race day, i preferred to run without my camelback as long as there were frequent water stops, and would take gatorade/powerade whenever it was available at a water stop, but otherwise kept my training routine. eating a larger breakfast (bagel/pb, etc.) did not work for me – i felt heavy and nauseated during the run itself, even if i ate hours before. you have to experiment and figure out what works for you.

    5. First of all – trust your training. There is nothing you can do now to turn back time and run an extra few miles on top of your 5 miler(s) this weekend, nor is there anything you can do to make your longest run longer. These long races benefit from consistent volume of training, meaning running X miles consistently over a long period of time, NOT what you did on one particular day or weekend. I know that it is mentally difficult to believe this, but on the day of the race, you have to believe that you did enough. If you trained properly and fuel properly during the race and the night before the race, you’ll do great. If you run a poor race, reevaluate what you did the weeks leading up to the race, and go from there.

      Second – about what to eat the night before and the morning of…everyone is different. For the evening before, and the few days before, I suggest eating more carbs, drink more water, and make sure you get some protein in. My typically night before a race meal is pasta with chicken, tomato sauce, some veggies, and a beer. Think about what you ate the night before a good long run – typically that was tell you what you should eat the night before your race.

      Same goes for the morning of. What do you usually eat the morning of your long runs?

      I run a lot of these races, but it wasn’t until my 3rd or 4th one that I figured out exactly what works with my stomach.

      Also, the most, most important thing you can do is have lots of fun, and enjoy yourself. I have a lot of enthusiasm for the sport and it makes me so happy if I can encourage someone to run and enjoy it.

      Good luck!

    6. You’ll be fine. I’ve run 3 half marathons in the past year at various stages of preparedness. Make sure you stretch really well the day before the race and drink as much water as possible. I try to carb load in the traditional pasta sense the night before and usually have a plain bagel with peanut butter and a Gatorade in the morning. It’s actually a lot of fun. You’ll have a blast.

      Try to ice your muscles after to prevent injury. Great luck!

    8. Since this is your first half, you are guaranteed a PR :). It sounds like your mileage is fine so trust your training, which is easier said than done. But, you’ve put in the work and you will do great! Pace yourself at the start so you don’t flame out. It is crazy easy to get caught up in the excitement and use up your energy early. As for food–eat a balanced meal that agrees with your body. So, if broccoli makes you gassy–stay away! I usually eat pasta because I like it. I try to eat some veggies and add protein as well. Fried foods give me trouble as do rich and greasy foods so I avoid those. And I find that a small glass of wine/beer is relaxing for me, just make sure to drink extra water. I try to make sure I eat enough to be fullu fueled but not so much that I feel sick. Morning of I swear by a clif bar and some dried fruit. Sometimes half a banana if I have one.

      Just have fun. Running is a great sport!

    9. Carbo load two nights before, protein load the night before. I had a banana and a protein bar before the race and those little jellies stashed in my pants. I took one every water station or approximately 2 hours. I think they were called GuChomps Pure performance.

      1. I love the jellies. I’ve tried these and liked them http://www.clifbar.com/food/products_shot_bloks/ I got them at a running store initially, but I have also gotten them at Wegmans so they aren’t too hard to come by. I have also been known just to eat them if they’re around the house….sigh.

        I normally don’t drink during a shorter race, but even if you’re not thirsty, try and force some water/energy drink at least by the halfway point. You’ll want it later on in the race or if they run out of drinks (case in point: the Army 10 Miler when they ran out of liquids at the 6 mile mark and it felt like a gazillion degrees that October — people were drinking out of the Capital fountains/reflecting pool and stuff – so gross!).

  2. Price aside, this sweater is gorgeous. It would look great with some of the pencil skirts from my light brown summer suits. Great pick Kat.

  3. I have a cream pencil skirt that I think would look lovely with this. If I only had an extra 1300 to spend!

    1. When I have a spare $1300 to spend on a sweater, this is the FIRST one I’m buying!!

      1. When I have a spare $1,300 to spend, I will NOT be spending it on a sweater (as absolutely lovely as this one is).

        (… darn student loans)

        1. That’s why I clarified “on a sweater” which can probably be loosely translated to “never.”

          Oh well.

      2. But, really? I mean, I have to be the biggest perv ever but I cannot stand ruffly lapels. Besides that, they never lay right and I am not chesty alot.

        1. Well, Godzilla, in a hypothetical future where we all get one of these — I’ll take yours. For when I spill on mine.

          2. If I remember correctly, you like snakeskin a lot. So you can have all my expensive snakeskin items when they are issued to me and I will take your weird expensive ruffles. :-)

  4. What music do you listen to at work?

    I like to listen to instrumental, and I’m looking to expand my horizons. I usually listen to classical, but lately I’ve been listening to Christopher O’Riley’s Radiohead piano instrumentals. Hoping to find inspiration from others on here!

    1. Try Pandora’s “movie scores” radio station. At the bottom of the site, it’s under “genre.” It’s instrumental, but upbeat and interesting.

        1. I’m a fan of film scores too. I have a John Williams Radio station on my Pandora play list.

    2. Do you have Pandora? I have that app on my iPhone and type in an artist that I’m in the mood for, then it plays all kinds of songs that are somehow related to that artist. It’s a good way to get introduced to new music that you might like. I think Spotify is similar?

    3. Probably not what you’re looking for, but I stream a trashy top-40 radio station…keeps me going when it’s late and I’m tired! If you’re into instrumental, though, how about some bluegrass? Check out Bela Fleck and the Flecktones – Bela Fleck has even released a CD of himself playing Bach on the banjo, if you want to ease your way in from classical ; )

      1. Bela Fleck and Edgar Meyer have a collection of duets for banjo and bass where they do classical and some improv that is really unexpected but nice

    4. Michael Buble, Josh Groban, the Puppini Sisters, Enter the Haggis- I set up Grooveshark playlists, it’s free and I don’t have to worry about having every album on my iPod.

      1. The Buble is very safe for work. You know, for those times when you’re looking for stuff on your desk and you accidentally unplug your headphones from the computer and you’re so happy that you didn’t have Eminem or Maroon5 blaring across cubicleland or anything. Not that I’d know.

        1. Oh, for sure- if you’re going to listen to NSFWish music, do it on a personal music device or not at all.

          I was working really late one night, and thought (key word!) that I was the only one left. So I took my hourly five-minute Ke$ha break (d-i-n-o-s-a-you are a dinosaur), sans headphones, singing aloud- and two colleagues who’d been hidden away in a conference room stopped by and scared the living daylights out of me.

          No more office karaoke for me :(

          1. Yeah, that happened to me but with Cannibal, and with a senior partner that I do a lot of work for. Awkkwarrdddd. I was concerned that he thought that I (in a verryyy off-key way) “eat boys up, breakfast and lunch”,

      2. Second the Grooveshark playlist, although I don’t have any recs for instrumental music.

    5. I have an XM satellite radio in my office (LOVE it). I don’t actually listen to music much during the day. I’m a bit of a political junkie, so I listen to talk radio during the day mostly. But around 5:30ish when most of the staff has left for the day, I switch over to one of the blues stations (BB King’s Bluesville) or 60s/70s rock stations (The Bridge) while I do another hour or two of work. Those types of music put me in a better mood to power my way through the last bit of paperwork for the evening.

    6. I also have xm radio (the online only subscription) and I listen to a bunch of different station while I’m at work. Heart and Soul (Adult R&B), Soultown (Classic Soul), The Groove (Old School R&B), Real Jazz, Siriusly Sinatra (American Standards), On Broadway, Caliente (Latin Pop), The Bridge (Classic Hits), The Coffee House (Singer Songwriter), The Blend (Light Pop), The Pulse (Adult Hits). I just like to mix it up and I don’t listen to my music very loud, but I do need music to help me stay focused and happy.

    7. I have an Eric Whitacre Pandora station that is pretty great. It comes up with mostly choral stuff, but it is kind of modern wall-of-sound stuff, so the words aren’t too obtrusive.

      1. Oo, I like Eric Whitacre. I participated in his one-day Soaring Leap workshop in Tampa last month and it was GREAT. He is funny and charming and handsome in person :-)

      1. I listen to film scores on Spotify or, for more variety, make Pandora stations based on film scores that I like. Right now, it is Braveheart. Some of other favorites are the King’s Speech, American Beauty, Harry Potter (although it has some annoying/loud songs that I gradually weed out), and Twilight (Don’t laugh! It is peaceful, it evokes Pacific Northwest images, and I am 24!).

        Also, Downton Abbey has a beautiful score.

    9. Christopher O’Riley’s Radiohead covers? ZOMG YES. Best. Work music. Ever.

      My playlist that includes O’Riley’s Radiohead also includes:
      – Godspeed You Black Emperor!
      – Cry Cry Cry
      – the Bach cello suites
      – Nine Inch Nails (distorition is energizing? IDEK)
      – Mary Lou Williams’ Zodiac Suite
      – Oscar Peterson
      – Miles Davis’ Sketches in Spain album

      1. Oh! The Bach cello suites are the best for work background. Also, check out his lute suites. So good.

    10. Stars of the Lid- ambient, droning in a pleasant way, good as white noise
      Zoe Keating- looping cello, very clever music

      I discovered both thanks to the Radiolab podcast :)

      1. Oh, and how could I forget my favorite – Yann Tiersen! He did the soundtracks to Amelie and Goodbye Lenin. His albums La Valse des Monstres, Rue des Cascades, and Le Phare are great.

  5. Early threadjack!

    I have very large feet but a thin frame . . . this translates into boot shafts always being too large to wear the boots with tights and not look like a swashbuckling pirate. The boots are still a little big over skinny jeans, but the look is passable. Have any of you ever had a cobbler tighten boot shafts? Is this possible? (I know that boots come in different shaft circumfrences and have shied away from anything greater than 15″ which seems to be the industry minimum.)

    TIA!

    1. I have the opposite problem. I have teeny feet, but muscular legs because I work out. So the boots that fit my feet are too tight on my calves and the boots that fit my calves are way too big for my feet.

      1. Look at wide calf boots. Zappos has a feature where you can select boots by shaft circumference. There are not as many options. If you find some that are cute, share with the rest of us!

    2. Wardrobe Oxygen has a post about this. Some Cobblers won’t do it because they think that it ruins the shape of the boot, so you may need to shop around for one who will do what you want.

    3. I hope you get some great responses because this has been my problem for years and as of yet, I have no solution. Zappos allows you to search by shaft circumference, but the selection below 14″ is abysmal.

    4. I have the same problem, well I don’t see it as a problem because it fits my flask perfectly!

    5. I too have this issue and have given up on boots. They just look silly on me, unless I am willing to wear cheap-o fake stretch leather. The only solution I’ve seen so far is to spring for custom-made riding boots from South America (I’m not kidding). But since I don’t love boots that much, I am not willing to do it. The other thing is that my feet look enormous with an uninterrupted swath of leather (boots) on them. Better to break them up with heels or laces or whatnot.

      Love,
      Size 11.5 Bigfotot with Toothpick legs (aka MJ)

    6. MsZ, I find myself in the same situation as you and I have actually had boot shafts tightened, twice. I live in NYC and both times had the people at Leather Spa in midtown do the work. A word of warning, it is expensive – the first time, they charged $100 and the second time, $150 (the boots had a more involved pattern). However, the work was fantastic and you wouldn’t be able to notice that they had been altered in any way. It was definitely worth it to me to have wearable boots!

    7. I have the same problem. Here is what I do:

      My dressy boots have been tailored and they are snug as a bug in a rug (glorious!). You have to find just the right pair though. Simple is your best bet so the cobler can take them in at the seam without throwing off the design. It costs me about $80-90 depending on the boot so make sure it’s a style that will last a while. Let me tell you. It is worth every penny. I get so many compliments on my boots and the only thing I can think of is because they fit me like a glove. They are otherwise unremarkable. If you have troubles finding a cobler, ask your friendly shoe sales person at Nordstrom.

      My riding boots have buckles so I can tighten them. It took FOREVER to find a pair that worked for me. The style is now sold out and I’m kicking myself for not buying multiple pairs.

      When wearing boots with pants, I wear thick high socks underneath the pants. It “pushes” the pant legs out a bit so there isn’t as much of a gap between the pants and boots. This doesn’t fill that much space though.

    8. Opposite problem (wide calf boots are such a pain!), but DuoBoots are a lifesaver! You can customize the shaft to the centimeter. Since they’re a bit pricey, try the DuoBoots Outlet online, which has a more limited selection with slightly more reasonable prices (but still a little more than boots + cobbler costs).

  6. This is beautiful. It’s too bad there’s no priceline dot com for clothes. I would bid 90% off.

    1. AIMS! I wore my Target leopard skinnies this weekend – did you buy a pair yet? They are so comfortable and so worth the (cheap $23) price! Click through to see what they look like IRL.

      1. So adorable! You’ve convinced me to make my Target run tonight instead of going this weekend. Here’s hoping they’ve still got a few left….

    2. AIMS, if you wanted to start this company, I would support you with all the bids I could afford.

      1. Oh, if only I was so entrepreneurial, Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler … Why, then, I would probably be able to get the sweater at full price!
        As it is, here’s hoping someone reads this, gets the idea, and then wants to cut me a check… ;)

  7. Advice please: I started a new in-house job at a small NYC financial firm in Jan. and the hours as it turns out are about 8:15am-7pm Mon-Thur, and til 5pm on Friday. No hard and fast rule and not because I am fully engaged all those hours, but based on my boss and co-workers’ hours and when it feels like a good time to leave without feeling paranoid about eye-rolls. Is this a normal way to go about determining when to leave? Are those what you consider long hours? Is it common to stay at work just for the face time or do you leave w/o regard to others? Keep in mind I am 2 yrs out of school, fwiw.

    Another issue is that we are provided breakfast in the stocked pantry and lunch to order in via seamless at the company so that we stay in the office. I am already very Vitamin-D sunlight deprived and am prone to SAD. The spring weather in Feb is making me so excited for the 5 mins I’m outside during morning commuting, as it’s pitch dark when I leave work. The company culture, based on the ordering free lunch in perk, means no one goes outside. One of my colleagues told me he hasn’t gone out for lunch in 10 yrs!! How do I get around this? It’s a small firm, so ppl will see when you leave. Any thoughts on this? Other than the hours and no outside time, I’m pretty happy with the job. But I’m wondering how bad does this all sound to objective corporettes?!

    1. Also how would you advise keeping fresh on networking with all these hours inside the office. And for those in a similar predicament, how do you get errands done when you get home so late and things are closed or you’re too tired? Thanks for any words of wisdom!

      1. I’m still struggling with the errands. Sometimes I’ll save them up and run a bunch at lunch one day if they’re not all going to take too long.

        As for keeping networking contacts fresh — Lunches! Also, just emailing periodically. Someone suggested the Career Tools podcasts a few weeks ago, and they just had one about this subject. There are some older ones in the archives about making and maintaining network contacts, too. Love it.

        2. The problem with networking lunches is that we are expected to stay in since we get free lunch $ to order in!

        3. Love Career Tools — the guys talk a lot, so just put it on in the background. Their suggestions for how to network are very good and don’t take up a lot of time. They even give examples of what to write/say.

      2. Hey fresh jd,

        Don’t know how your firm is compared to my old firm — but maybe reframe your networking as “business development” and think of it as key to your future career growth. And yes, you get free lunch and are expected to eat in most of the time (I love when firms pitch that as a “benefit” when really all that says to me is “we are the ultimate sweat shop…yay!”) — but you have to prioritize YOUR career. And know that no one else is going to do it for you. And also know that when the firm wants to they WILL drop you like its hot, so you need to keep lines of communication open in your network for you. So if that means losing 1-2 billable hours a week, that might be worth it! (and most firms will let you bill business development lunches back to the firm, so yay!)

        As far as errands, that one is harder. I found I would try to change my route to work to allow me to get some of them out of the way on the way there or on the way home. Other things you can get delivered to the office (like from amazon) or to home (like groceries from peapod). And then other things, again, you just have to eventually take a deep breath and prioritize, and remind yourself that it is important that you get a haircut because otherwise you won’t look like a grown-up lawyer anymore!

        1. Huh…can’t reply to anyone today…or at least not to fresh jd…gonna be an interesting day on the thread!

          1. And at least one reply seems to have been intended as a new post. Happy Monday, Kat… :[

      3. For errands, I basically order everything online now–groceries from fresh direct (Ny local, but I think Giant also does online ordering/delivery if you have giants near you), soap.com for anything I would normally pick up at the pharmacy, amazon for everything else. For dry cleaning, my dry cleaner picks up and delivers to my building, so I don’t even have to be around for that.

    2. Since you just started, this is a great time to set some personal boundaries and precedents. For instance, if you need sunlight, you could take a 10-15 minute walk outside the building every day at 3:00 or 4:00. Having some sort of break in the afternoon is a normal human need, so seize it. When do people go out to smoke? If the smokers get to leave the building, then you can, too.

      You could also decide that every Wednesday, you will have lunch outside the building at your own expense. This could be to network, eat with a friend or run an errand. Every Wednesday, fresh jd is out from 12 to 1. For all they know, you have dialysis scheduled during that time. No explanations necessary.

      In my first office, the culture was such that everyone mostly worked 7am to 5:30 or 6pm. I took the train and leaving at 6 was really an awkward time (this was a suburban office, so trains ran the “wrong way” as I went against the dominant commute.) So I came in just a bit earlier and left earlier. Sorry, but I’m not missing my train and staying an extra 2 hours for facetime.

      The key to all this, though, is you have to perform. Work hard while you’re there and you can reasonably ask for some some time concessions. And my office was engineering, not finance, so YMMV.

    3. It’s good you are thinking about these things now because as TechAnon says, it is the right time to set your expectations. I’ve heard mentions on this site about special lights that you can place on your desk to help with the lack of natural light. You may want to look into those. Also, I love the idea of taking a daily break in the afternoon. You are human and humans need breaks and sunshine and fresh air. Throw on some comfy shoes and take a walk around the building or the block. Make that “your thing” and be confident about it. If people make snide comments, say “Hey, taking a brisk 10 minute walk makes me more productive and keeps me sharp. I think everyone should do it. You should join me tomorrow.” A comment like that reinforces the fact that you are aware of productivity and are taking your break for a real reason.

      Ugh. Writing this made me so sad that people have to account for taking a measly break during the day. It’s so wrong but yet, I know from experience that it’s just reality.

  8. I’m applying to a local company that has a very laid back company culture. Is it risky to do a light-hearted cover letter?

    1. I think so. You could show you jive with the company culture when you interview when it’s easier to convey tone but I wouldn’t risk it in a cover letter if you don’t know the person who’s reviewing it. Doesn’t mean it can’t be an interesting cover letter but shouldn’t be light-hearted.

    2. Unless you have reason to think they would respond well to that(like insider info from hr) I would say no. If you can, reference the dynamic, casual company culture as a point of attraction to you personally and that you find such cultures to reflect highly energized and productive work environments (or whatever is accurate based on your knowledge). In other words, don’t BE casual in your letter, but show your knowledge of the culture by praising it accurately and how you would bring value to such a culture.

    3. I did this – sent an email to the president of a local ad agency that was known for being really edgy and competitive. It worked. Actually, in that case, they made me an offer and had to rescind it when a prospective client deal fell through. I told him as long as they had a computer ready for me, I’d start anyway. They started me on a stipend (out of shock, basically), and upped it to my full salary a few weeks later when I signed on a bunch of business. So I’d say, if you’re confident in knowing the culture (and you don’t have to have insider information to know), then go for it.

  9. I can’t remember if we’ve discussed the Thunder Shirt for dogs on here before, but I wanted to share how AWESOME it is. We bought it on my MIL’s recommendation as a last-ditch effort before finally giving in to paying way too much for personalized, at-home dog training. I’m so glad we spent the $40 first. It works like a charm. For anyone whose dog gets hyper when people are over, freaks out when someone knocks on the door, jumps into people’s laps, etc., BUY THE THUNDER SHIRT. I’m in love.

    1. Your description is my dog to a T. Can you say more about this Thunder Shirt … and where can I get this magical item?

      1. FYI, not everyone has been thrilled with it – one blogger (elefantitasalegres (dot) blogspot) tested it on her pup to no effect.

        1. That’s true, but the reviews on Amazon are generally awesome, and it’s only $40. I just thought it was worth a try, and it seriously worked.

          It’s basically the same idea as swaddling a baby. You velcro the shirt on pretty tight, and they just calm right down. Seriously.

    2. I wonder if they make these for adult humans….I know someone that could use one. haha

    3. FWIW, ours has been a mixed bag. If we can get it on our pup (a lab mix) before the storm starts, it’s helpful. If the storm’s already started, it provides only minimal help. And it doesn’t help our pup with other stressors — people at the door, etc.

  10. Lovely sweater, way too expensive. I love stripes, including horizontal ones, and esp. nautical stripes. Wish I could move the decimal point over 1 space to the left for this one!

  11. Hey guys, need a quick advice. I’ve taken an interview with a different department within my bank 10 days ago. After the interview I sent an email out and thanked them. Is now a good time to send a follow up email and ask for the status? Or should I wait until I hear from them? I’m interested in this position but don’t want to sound desperate.

    1. Recently someone in my organization was informally promoted to a leadership position. As of right now, it has not been made official. The individual in question made some pretty big missteps after the promotion was announced, and it’s pretty obvious that no one respects her authority. The problem is that she takes Every. Little. Thing. as some sort of suggestion that she’s not fit to lead. Today we had a meeting rescheduled and when I told this coworker she missed the meeting, she insisted that she was to hold the meeting anyway. This coworker immediately wrote a snippy email to our assistant about my behavior. When our assistant stood up for me, the assistant got the same snippy behavior.

      My concern is that there’s a real possibility this coworker will be doing my (and other coworkers’) reviews in the future. If she takes every little thing so personally, there’s no way we’re going to be able to come out ahead. Any advice? I am not really sure that there is anything I can do to change my behavior at this point if this coworker has already made up her mind that I am a threat.

      1. Whoa- not sure how this ended up here- sorry. This site has been wonky lately.

      2. She is hypersensitive because on some level, she knows that until she fixes her issues with other people, she is unfit to lead. My question is– how did she get promoted? Please please tell me she’s got blackmail-worthy photos of senior execs!

        Seriously now, if she will be reviewing you, document everything; do everything by email, so if the excrement hits the fan, you have proof that she f-ed up not, you.

        1. If she might be doing your reviews, I think it’s time to mentally shift her from coworker to boss and adjust your attitude accordingly. You are mentally questioning her authority and it isn’t surprising she’s picking up on that. Rather than stocking up on defensive ammo which is unlikely to help you anyway, look for opportunities to make her look good, and make her job easier.

          1. Yes – if she’s been promoted to a position of authority, you should wrap your mind around that and accept it. Do not engage. Don’t talk to other people (assistants, whatever) about her. In fact, try to be supportive and maybe she will improve.

            I have found that it’s 1000% better to try to get along than to spend time worrying about who is right or wrong, who is qualified to lead, who is behaving professionally, etc. The more you can see the good in people you need to work with to be successful, the more they will return that effort with trusting you. And maybe they’ll be less likely to throw you under the bus (if they have a tendency to do that).

            I get the whole “document everything” bit, but in my experience, it creates a distraction and a negativity that are harmful in the long run. Companies don’t like drama – so stay as far away from it as you can. If she’s really messing up, then let someone else fight that battle. You don’t want to be associated with drama, even if you are “right.” If anything, if you end up being the one person that can work effectively with a problem employee, that makes you the hero. People will notice.

        2. Thanks all for the comments. The promotion hasn’t been finalized yet and for all I know, it may no longer be on the table. My coworker’s missteps were significant and involved a huge breach of trust. Not only is she unable to follow through on projects she’s been given to complete, but she will often lie about their progress/completion. When a task does require completion in short order, usually others will end up completing the task for her. All of these issues are already well documented. It’s really hard to stay out if it when I’m essentially completing the jobs of two people.

  12. DH and I are planning an impromptu trip to Newport, RI this weekend for the first time. Thoughts on where to stay, what to do, where to eat? We’re definitely going to see the mansions but not sure which ones are best. We’re vegetarian too, so any veggie friendly restaurant ideas would be appreciated.

    Would we have enough to do in Newport for 2 full days? If not, recommendations on other towns nearby that we can visit for a few hours?

    1. Sigh. Love Newport. If you can swing it, stay at Forty One North. If you can’t swing it, at least stop by the marina-side super luxe modern bar/lounge for a drink. The full tour of The Breakers is worth it, and if you’re up for walking, you can walk from the top of the cliff walk back down to Thames Street. I also enjoyed just walking around the marina and looking at the boats, daydreaming about my next life in which I will wear sweaters like the one posted and drink bloody marys while sailing.

      1. As it happens, I just opened my vacationist.com email, and Forty One North is on sale for $143 a night. Looks like this saturday is sold out, but friday and sunday are still available at that rate. I think vacationist requires an invite; if you need one, just post here and I’ll see if I can send one.

        1. Actually, it must be Newport day on all my vacation deal sites, because Bloomspot is having a deal on Pearls Boutique Hotels in Newport today as well, which still has all weekend dates left.

    2. The mansions! There are a bunch of them all along one or two streets. They were summer homes of many of the families that became wealthy during the industrial revolution and are opulent (sometimes ridiculously so) and beautiful and are next to the water. I thought the best part were the gorgeous gardens that many of them have (although it’s cold now so I’m not sure how they would look).

    3. If no one can recommend veggie restaurants, I suggest checking happycow[dot]com. Not sure if you are familiar with that site, but you can browse vegetarian/vegan and veg-friendly restaurants by location–I always check it when I’m going somewhere new.

    4. I spent an entire summer in Newport years ago with good friends from college. You will want to drive Ocean Drive, for sure. Oh, and you will want to walk the Cliff Walk – just bring some comfy shoes. Both have breathtaking views. If you get a chance, Jamestown and Narragansett are also really beautiful towns just across the bridge. Check out restaurants on Yelp! There are tons of restaurants in the Bowen’s Wharf area.

    5. Cliffside Inn! A B&B with lovely tea time, incredible bathtubs, and original artwork (was the house of an artist). Also, a three minute walk down to a beach that’s lovely to watch, and not far from restaurants and little shops. Also — amazing breakfast and fireplaces!

    6. Okay — love Newport (got married there) — and grew up spending my weekends there (but mostly eating in relatives backyards). Anyway, for hotels, I can’t give you great advice. But for places to eat:
      Higher End (i.e. places I’ve never eaten because my parents would never take me there): Black Pearl, White Horse Tavern

      Mid-Level The Mooring on Thames Street, its lovely and has decent (though not extraordinary) vegetarian options.
      Also — if you want somewhere right on the beach, the Atlantic Beach Club on First Beach is quite nice inside and has beautiful views of the water.
      Salvation Cafe: Fun, eclectic, doesn’t take itself too seriously. Would be good for veg I think.

      Cheaper:
      Salas’ Restaurant: Very, downhome style Italian on Thames street (but relatively cheap for the area) — mostly thrown on this list because its italian so its good for veg. Downstairs restaurant is fancier for dinner I believe.
      Flo’s Clam Shack: For classic clam cakes and such — might not be much fun if you don’t eat sea food.
      Atlantic Grille (just over the border in Middletown) — mostly just for Brunch if you’re looking for a big pancakes and eggs type thing — its really great.

      I’m sure I’m forgetting tons of stuff. If you have a car and time, I’d say in addition to all the above suggestions, take a drive out through Middletown and Portsmouth, its more like farm country out there and its beautiful.

      1. Thank you all very much! We ended up booking at a b&b called Francis Malbone which gets rave reviews on TripAdvisor. Will check out the dining recs as well. Thanks again.

    1. Let me feel not guilty with you. Spent most of the time curled up in bed. And you know what I discovered? Bedsheets get hungry in the wash and eat socks. For reals. This isn’t the first time I found a lone sock just hanging out in my folded sheets. Now I can go on blind dates with *matching* socks!!!!

      Static electricity, I hate you.

      1. The answer to this problem — either never wash your socks or never wash your sheets. You have to choose.

      2. Even if it wasn’t the sheets, dryers still eat socks. As the Dothraki would say, it is known.

        2. We have three easter baskets full of mismatched socks at our house – athletic, solid dress, and patterned. It is known.

        3. Once, I had a sock come out of the pipe that drains out of the washer into the basin. I don’t know how the washer wasn’t constipated bc it hung out in the washer’s digestive system for months.

          I should prolly just throw my socks in the garbage and wear new ones. Every time.

      3. For the sock problem, first off I only wash socks in mesh bags. Or at least the socks I want to keep.

        Second, for socks, I buy all of the same kind. That is, I buy 10 pair trouser socks in black, 10 in grey etc. Hubby gets the large Costco dress sock assortments in black and in grey. Same for daughter and son. This way, eventually if some get lost, you can still make a pair with the remainder.

    2. I did work almost all day yesterday on an appellate brief. This morning, my client calls and tells us he just doesn’t think we are doing enough to help him and would like a male attorney assigned to his case instead of me. Guess who is getting credit for the brief now. So, don’t feel guilty, I envy you. I really needed a break. I think I will go to lunch…

      1. That’s horrible! I once had a terrible terrible (completely guilty!) client who kept insisting she wanted to be reassigned to a male attorney. I tried to get my boss/the partner in my group to help me handle it and he flaked on TWO meetings (one of which she drove 3 hours to attend). After all that, she fired the firm and got another attorney. Guess who got the blame? (P.S. I was a 1.5 year attorney at that time.)

        Luckily I was able to show calender events and reminders for both of the meetings the partner flaked on and even more luckily I’ve since found a new job but the whole episode still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

        1. We have one or two clients that insist on female attorneys, if it makes you feel better. (though really no one should be insisting on a particular gender… but it can apparently go both ways)

  14. I know this has come up recently but here goes. Friends of mine (gay couple) moved to Oregon so they could adopt, so I haven’t seen them in awhile, but love them to death. They have a beautiful 22 mo. old daughter and now have a 7 week old daughter (by the same mother). I want to send them something to acknowledge the new baby but I know they have the basics and plenty of girl clothes. Any ideas?

    1. Books – board books, tactile books, picture books. How can you go wrong with books? :)

      1. I am going to buy a couple board books by Amy Wilson Sanger for friends that are having babies. They are all food books, so you can get ones that you know the parents will appreciate (I’ll get the sushi one for the friend that loves sushi).

    2. I agree with Nona – books are a great choice. It seems like all of my friends are having babies recently, and the swaddling blankets seem to be a big hit as well. Or, you could go with “pretty and impractical” and get a local artist to make a (not expensive) painting/print with the new baby’s name to hang in her room. You know, like animals in the shape of letters. I’m always blown away by the depth and breadth of talent of NoLa artists every time I visit. There’s a gallery on Royal a couple blocks down from the Montelone (on a corner… maybe near pirate’s alley?, on the side of the street closer to the dome) that seems much more focused on kid-friendly art. I bet they’d have something cool there.

      1. Books are a great choice! Especially since I met half of the couple working in a library many years ago. Thanks for the suggestion of a local artist. I hardly ever think of things like that and I’ve done it before. Could have gone to the Art Market in my neighborhood on Saturday. I so rarely go to the Quarter that I don’t even know what’s there any more.

        1. Yeah, we spend most of our time outside the Quarter when we come, visiting friends and family that live elsewhere in the city, but there are several galleries on Royal that I like to visit, plus I have an addiction to Mr. B’s BBQ shrimp. There are lovely galleries on Magazine as well (which of course you know)… or maybe that’s just my excuse to visit Sucre and/or that cheese store. Ha! If only I could figure out how to be a successful attorney in Nola, and how to deal with humidity, I would totally consider moving there.

          1. I’m pretty familiar with the galleries on Magazine (from Art for Art’s Sake) and can’t think of any that would do this sort of thing. Will check in the Quarter. What’s the cheese store on Magazine? I know there’s one on Prytania. Love Sucre. I alternate between Sucre and La Divina.

            You’d be surprised at how easily you’d adjust to the humidity. I’m not from here and I didn’t think I’d be able to take it but now I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Now, the attorney thing, I can’t help you with…

          2. D’oh, you’re right, St. James Cheese Company is on Prytania, not Magazine… memory fail. I think New Orleans is the only city in the country that rivals San Francisco for artisal food. Maybe Seattle, too. Yes, New York and Vegas have lots and lots more high end cuisine that is arguably better, but that’s not what really interests me. Plus your music and art are better than mine. Must plan next trip back to the Crescent City!

          3. So right! I went to DFW area last weekend and my friend took me to a restaurant that she was just raving about. I thought it was mediocre at best. I’m so spoiled – even our little neighborhood places are fabulous!

    3. Books, OR something fancy that they wouldn’t get themselves (matching spring dresses for the girls?). If you can, I’d get something (stuffed animal or baby doll) for the older girl as well – they don’t always get presents and LOVE it when people remember them as well as the new baby. :)

      1. Essentials. Diapers etc. And maybe a book. I’m due June 2nd, and have received over 60+ newborn outfits/onesies- most of which I’ll need to give away in lieu of useful stuff- especially as a friend with a baby ahead of mine is giving me all her clothes. Please don’t give people stuff they don’t need, it makes a busy time worse to have extra stuff to deal with.

        I like the art idea in theory, but there’s an unwritten rule about not picking out art for others for a reason. It can go well, but at least half the time, they may not love it and then it’s an awkward situation. People have their own taste and like to decorate their home themself for the most part. Same with housewares. Best to stick to stuff they need/want.

        1. Actually, I think they would be okay with the art idea. Neither of the two guys is a big decorator (or they weren’t when they lived here) and they like my taste. I figure they don’t need clothes since they already have a girl. I sent lots of cute clothes for the first baby.

    4. You could also get them a gift certificate to get some professional pictures of the two babies takes at a studio — I’ve noticed that parents love to do this when a new baby comes into the picture. :-)

      Otherwise, books are always great. Remember to throw something small in for the older daughter if you can — sometimes its really hard on a toddler when a new baby comes into the picture!

    5. I love the board book “Everywhere Babies” in part because the illustrations include a really wide variety of people and families, including gay couples with babies. It’s gentle and lovely and inclusive.

    6. I have a 2.5 year old girl and another girl due any day (literally, today is my due date). LOL, and I’m in Oregon. So here’s my take:

      Definitely get something for the older child (preferably relatively quiet and independent), like a book, puzzle, or playdough.

      Do avoid clothing, as it sounds like you already know. Whoa, we have been gifted so many clothes that I didn’t even unpack everything for the newborn. If you do want to buy some cute clothes (and who doesn’t ;) ) clothes for the older child would be nice.

      Aiden+Anis swaddling blankets are an awesome gift, but I wouldn’t do it for a second child so close to the first. We still have ours in very good condition, despite all the use.

      If giving art would work for you and them, that would be great, actually. I didn’t get around to doing much of that kind of thing for the second child and would appreciate it.

      I absolutely agree with essentials. By far the gifts that have gotten me most excited are diapers (we do cloth, but still need disposables) and take-out dinner gift cards.

      Books are always a great idea, too. We’re restocking our baby collection since the popular ones have been eaten. For babies, favorites include: Clackers: Duck by Luana Rinaldo, In My Nest by Sara Gillingham and Lorena Siminovich, and anything with baby face photos, especially with flaps. For the 2-year old, In the Town All Year ‘Round by Rotraut Susanne Berner, 1001 Things to Spot in the Sea by Katie Daynes, Anna Milbourne and Teri Gower, and Sandra Boynton (Horns to Toes is one of my favs, Blue Hat Green Hat one of daughter’s favs at that age, but you can’t go wrong). Love is a Handful of Honey by Giles Andreae and Vanessa Cabban is a nice one for same-sex families because the parents bears are not gendered. I think the words are dorky, and my daughter agrees, but I’ve made up my own story and she loves the pictures.

      I assume they are in Portland. If so, a gift card to Finnegan’s Toys would be appreciated and well-used.

      1. This is all such wonderful information! Thank you so much! I didn’t really know about which books. I’ve bought many presents and books for my friend’s 4 year old daughter but I’ve been close to her since she was born so it’s been easy (like the purple sparkly tutu skirt for Christmas).

        And yes, they are in Portland so I will look into the possibility of Finnegan’s Toys.

        You ladies have been so great. Problem solved.

  15. I stayed at 41 North, but found it overpriced for what it is. You can’t go wrong with a boat ride and any of the restaurants along the water. 2 days is more than enough time there, so just walk around and relax.

  16. I decided to stop hormonal birth control this weekend. I’m not TTC, but was simply not taking it consistently and figured that since human error rendered it basically ineffective, I should just stop altogether.

    What can I expect? Mood swings? Breakouts? Gain/lose weight?

    1. I lost a few lbs over a few months when I stopped the pill. Very gradual and probably only 5 lbs. The only other thing I noticed was my chin acne has reappeared. And my monthly cramps are worse.

    2. My only 2 effects: (1) more skin issues, definitely more break-out prone and my skin just doesn’t look as good, and (2) an insane resurgence in libido – be prepared just in case. Woo!

      1. Which reminds me – someone had asked me to repost later about the ongoing nature of the libido resurgence. My experience was that at about 3-5 weeks after getting off the pill, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was like an 18-year-old boy. It was actually interfering with my life – like, I would be in a team meeting and realize that I hadn’t been paying attention bc I was thinking about … other … things … which was just ridiculous. It was a constant focus. Being unmarried and out in the dating pool, it was a challenge to manage. But, now we are 6 months out, and things have settled down a bit (or I have just grown more accustomed to it). I am definitely still far more interested in s*x, but in less of an always-present way, if that makes any sense. And maybe this is just in my head, but I feel like I am relating to my dates a little differently. I’d read in the past that women make different dating decisions while on the pill than they do off of it, and I kind of get that. But again – could totally just be in my head, since I’d read that previously. Hard to say.

      3. Yes and yes. This completely. My face and s*x drive exploded simultaneously. Fortunately hubby still found me attractive with all the zits while I worked to get them under control. :)

    3. When I went off some years ago, prepatory to TTC, I had this sudden and deep depression, could hardly get off the couch, thought I was experiencing actual mental illness. Then I got my period and it went away and I realized, DOH, it was just some kind of massive built-up PMS. It never happened again, but it freaked me out, so yes, maybe you’ll have mood swings.
      Do note, this was a while ago (the baby we eventually had just turned 17!) and I’m thinking that the pill’s formula may be different now, so YMMV, but best wishes for the transition.

    4. I went off of BC 6 months ago and got back on 1 month ago. There were pros and cons, but the cons out weighed the pros so I decided to get back on until my SO and I are ready to TTC.

      Pros: I was in a much better mood over all; my anxiety seemed to go away; my body got right back on scheduled and I started ovulating right away; and more s-x drive!

      Cons: horrible break outs all over my body (although not so much on my face); s-x drive was up, but very little s-x because my SO are not ready to have kids just yet and so we were afraid of getting PG; and more cramps, but really not too bad.

      When it came down to it, the break outs and lack of a s-x life during that 5 months helped me make the decision to get back on BC about a month ago. I will not get off again until we are ready to start TTC like the next month!

      I wish you the best of luck!

    5. Yep, what they said: I’m eight months out and there’s some good and some bad. My body-breakouts are back (need to schedule an appointment with a dermatologist), but I’m down a couple pounds. Slightly more pronounced PMS symptoms (cramps) and a bit of an increase in libido (if I’ve, uh, gone without for too long I start having very, very, very vivid dreams). Good luck!

    6. I stopped a couple months ago. Breakouts, yes, horribly. Luckily, a good bit of my spots are hidden under my bangs, but the ones on my chin…. argh. (I ordered some Paula’s Choice over the weekend after seeing all the reccs here!) but I haven’t had any mood swings or weight changes.

  17. Can any NYC ‘Rettes recommend a GP in Manhattan? I haven’t been to the doctor (outside of my obgyn) in a few years, and keep meaning to find one!

      1. Heartily second the recommendation– the practice is YaffeRuden and they’re great.

  18. Threadjack — sort of fun.

    Other than the normal water bottle options — does anyone have suggestions for the adult equivalent of a sippy-cup? My problem with the big tall waterbottles is that they can be a bit hard to wash and I’d like to be able to use it for a variety of drinks and not just water (bonus points if it can hold hot and cold drinks).

    All this arises because I had to replace my laptop this weekend after spilling on it Thursday (as some of you may remember). Now my husband has (rightfully) decreed…no more open beverages! ha!

    1. I had the same thing happen; awful isn’t it? What I use now is made by Contigo, they make great ones that might solve your problem. I have both the coffee mug version and water bottle. It is practically leakproof, since you have to push a button to open the valve, so when it’s sitting it is always closed. I used to spill my coffee in my purse, but now no more! Their site is gocontingo(dot)com

    2. Tervis Tumblers. They have lids with and without straws. They hold hot and cold and are dishwasher safe. Plus they have super fun images/patches to jazz it up! And they don’t spill if the lid is on. Ex: my best friend used on with a Bride decal on it during her wedding because she loves red wine and didn’t want to spill. Millons of hugs, dancing, and spinning later her dress was spill free )at least from her cup).

      1. Wow she used “one” at her wedding and that should be one ( and one ). I got to the office insanely early today and clearly need more coffee!

        1. I do too! We have a full set ourselves and have been gifting them a lot recently. They’re awesome. Plus, they’re made in the USA. :)

          1. At least half of my Christmas list got tumblers this year. Some punk stole a box of them off of our doorstep, and the company overnighted replacements without any hassle.

            As an aside — I wish I could have seen the thief open the box. “This box is the size of a computer box! This will be awesome! Awwwww, sh*t…. Cups and lids.”

          2. I gave monogrammed tumblers and the matching ice bucket to my friend who got married last spring. They often have discounts and coupons.

          3. @AnonInfinity,
            I was laughing about yuor thief opening the box.

            The comforter set my daughter wanted for Christmas was stolen off my front porch. It put us in a total panic about replacing it in time for Christmas, and the only solace for me was thinking about the dumbass thief who thought he was getting something REALLY good because it was a large box.

      3. Ha! I was so excited to plug Tervis that I didn’t even both reading this. My welcome-to-work present from my boss was a UVA tumbler. Best. Present. Ever.

    3. Not sure how they do for hot, but I have a CamelBak where you have to bite the straw to get any liquid to come through the opening. It could be an option!

  19. Has anyone purchased a blazer or structured sweater jacket in a neutral color recently that they love? I’m starting to wear more sleeveless dresses, and I need something more polished/structured than a basic cardigan to cover my arms in my conservative office!

    1. I got a grey tweed blazer from Uniqlo for $89. It has a slim-fit, which I found worked well with dresses.

      The also-ran was one of the J.Crew 1035 pinstripe jackets that I bought during their big sale, but they’re too short and boxy for pairing with dresses (at least, for me, because I’m quite long-waisted). I’ll just have to wear that one with a long-ish shirt and the pants they go with.

      1. I bought a camel blazer at F21 pretty recently that’s been getting a lot of wear lately…it was really inexpensive, less than 30 bucks I believe. Its hit or miss in there, and the quality is usually poor, but for some reason this one was great- might be worth stopping in to see what your local F21 is carrying.

  20. I just received an e-mail from Kate Spade about their “bridal accouterments.” Fashion editing fail.

      1. LOL. They missed a marketing opportunity– but I guess they’re not into any racy…equipment. ;-)

          1. Happy Monday to you, too!

            So many of my coworkers say to each other: “Ugh, it’s Monday again *BIG SIGH*” I think I’m going to say “Happy Monday” to everyone for a change. :-)

    2. I got that email too — and for some reason, maybe because it was Monday, I was annoyed at all the twee “Mrs.” accessories (or accouterments…)

  21. A question for any of you who may have gone on (or considered going on) sabbatical:

    My aunt is thinking about going on sabbatical for around 9 months this year. She has been with her company almost 25 years and is burnt out. She would like to take a few months to relax, focus on her health, and figure out what she wants to do with the last 10 or so years of her career. She has met with a finanical planner and can afford to be out of work and still comfortable for around 12 months.

    I originally was very excited for her, I really think she deserves a break and as she says, “you only live once.” Recently, however, I have heard from others how difficult it is to get back into the workforce in your mid-fifties. I’m worried that when she starts looking for other jobs, there won’t be anything available that appeals to her more than her current job. Do any of you have experience with getting back into the workforce towards the end of your career? Is there a strong chance she will find a good position, or is it more likely that she’ll have to take a lower-level position with less pay? Any advice here would help. I’m still not sure if I’m going to bring up this concern with her. I’m sure she’s thinking about it as well.

    1. Usually “sabbatical” implies some sort of arrangement whereby your position is still available when you return. Here it just sounds like she’s leaving her job. If she wants to get back into another equivalent job when she gets back from her time off, I’d be very leery of just leaving. My mom is a bit older than she is, but she’s job hunting right now and its incredibly hard. Its incredibly hard for everyone out there right now, but most companies are not that excited about hiring senior people who presumably make more money.

      Without knowing more about the industry and skills of your aunt its hard to hazard any more specific guesses about how she’d do. Perhaps she could make some sort of arrangement with her current company that when she came back she could work as an independent contractor/consultant for them until she found another job? Otherwise, she needs to talk to her financial planner not just about what happens if she’s out of work for a year but what happens if long term she never becomes fully-employed at her current level again or if this turns into a de facto early retirement.

      1. You are correct, it’s not technically a “sabbatical”. She is leaving her job and taking a few months off. She knows it’s risky, but doesn’t want to spend the next 5-10 years in a job she’s come to really dislike. Would she be better served to start looking for a new job now and trying to negotitate for a few weeks off between jobs? It wouldn’t give her the break she wants, but the change alone may be what she needs.

        1. So this kind of high level advice is really hard to give anonymously on the internet. I don’t know HOW burned out she is, what type of career she’s in, how in demand her skills are, how able she’d be to sort of go it on her own (for example) when she got back. For example, if she had computer programming skills, I’d say, maybe then you can take nine months off and come back.

          On the other hand — there’s the school of thought that says live your life. And at a certain point you can’t take it with you. If it was me, I’d slightly shorten the length of active “break” time before I started job-hunting so I had more wiggle room in my money to look for a job — but at a certain point, you have to live your life and can’t just keep doing something that makes you miserable!

          1. No no! If she’s a computer programming, she almost certainly couldn’t afford to take 9 months off. Programming as a field has a MAJOR age discrimination factor (aka if you’re 33 at Google, you’re over the hill). Also the tech industry moves so fast that you’d risk looking out of date after 9 months (even if you really aren’t).

      2. My mom took 10 years off to raise us, which is, I know, much longer than she’s thinking, but she was actually completely unable to find a job when she returned. She essentially made her own job, talked her way into a contract position writing appeals and is doing okay now, 8 years later, but nothing like if she had not taken the time off. She also was extremely despondent by all the rejection, since it was pretty clear it was just her age and the time off, not her skills that the employers were reacting to.

        She’s an attorney, btw.

    2. What arrangements, if any did she make with her supervisor at work?

      What field is she currently in, and what field would she like to be in? Can she use that sabbatical, or part of it, to relaunch herself in the new direction?

    3. I wouldn’t do it unless she had a guarantee of a job when she returned. The job market is terrible right now.

  22. Career-related threadjack.

    I am a third year associate, and already on my second firm. I lateraled from one firm to another within my city; I hated my other job, switched the type of law I was doing, and moved firms about 6 months ago at the very beginning of my third year. However, like so many other people I’m sure, I find that I hate the structure of biglaw. I love being an attorney, and love the work ,but the actual structure of how the office is run is really getting to me.

    Turns out, a job opening was posted within the past couple of days in my home city (yay!) which I have been trying to get back to, but couldn’t (small city with lots of law schools, I went to a far away law school, tried to get a job in the city, ended up in another city). This posted job is in-house at a company, as a junior attorney, and it fits very much with the types of things I have been doing at both firms (both types of law, and I have had clients very similar to this company so I know the business structure relatively well); I also do pro bono work in a related field.

    Basically my question is: how soon is too soon to move again? I feel silly being only 3 years into law and on my second job already, but I found that the things I didn’t like about the first one weren’t necessarily the firm, its’ the structure of all firms like it. Since this is an in-house position would it be seen differently?

    1. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, particularly if you stick with the in-house job for a while. By the time you are applying for another job, it’ll be so far in the past that nobody will care. Definitely apply for the job! Good luck!

    2. Definitely apply. Don’t stay in a job you hate (or fail to even apply for a job you want) just because of your resume. Yes, you may get questions in the future about your short sojourns at the firms and it’s not “ideal” in some respects. But I doubt people will be seriously concerned in these circumstances; I think most people understand the allure of either going in-house or home, and you would (if you get this job) be doing both. Good luck!

    3. No, I did pretty much the same. I was at the first firm for two years, second (biglaw) firm for less than a year (and looking to get out 8 months later).

      I think it’s fairly common for people who lateral into biglaw to lateral out pretty quickly.

  23. Seattleite: You posted your email last week in response to my question about firearms training, and now I can’t find it. Can you post again? Thanks!

  24. Just wanted to say a quick thank you to all of you lovely ladies who gave me some great advice regarding bar exam nervousness last week. I still feel nervous, but I’ve actually managed to sleep for the last two nights! Two more days of stress and then it will be Wednesday…

  25. Hi, everyone – long-time lurker, first-time poster. I have a question re writing samples. I’m a junior associate, and I saw a job in my practice area that I’d like to apply to. What’s the rule on using writing samples that I’ve written in the course of my current employment? I’d like to use a research memo I wrote (doesn’t contain any confi info), but am not sure whether there are any ethical restrictions as to using it. Thanks for the help!

    1. Okay Veronica — don’t know if this reply will appear as a reply. But we’ll try our very best.

      My understanding of the rules of this thing (as a current job applicant and recently laid off junior associate) is that you can’t use anything that was produced for a client and was non-public without the client’s permission — though if it contains absolutely no reference to a client or to any non-public information you might be able to get away with it. I’m using a public filing I wrote because it was just easier — but if this research memo is the best thing you wrote, I’d be sure to review it and redact everything that could possibly refer to a client.

      But maybe someone more senior or with a better grasp of the ethical rules of this will chime in.

    2. We had a spirited discussion about this a few months ago. I say use a public filing as downloaded from a public source. Then the interviewers can be sure that they aren’t inadvertently reading privileged documents.

    3. Sorry, but that memo is attorney work product. The only way you can use it for another purpose is to get permisison from your firm and from your client.

      1. Oh well, guess I’ll have to figure something else out. Thanks for the advice!

      2. Meh. I used research memos (with all the client info redacted) for writing samples several times. No one seemed to care. I wouldn’t worry about it.

  26. This may be a silly question, but how many of you listen to music at work? I work in a business casual environment but I’m very junior and also in a cubicle. Do I need to ask for permisison to listen to music with headphones on? I see a few others doing it but they are more senior to me.

    1. Honestly, I think that looks really terrible especially in a cubicle. I do sometimes have music on very low in my office, but at my last firm that was not allowed during work hours. I don’t wear headphones because I feel like that screams “do not talk to me” and also because my ears get sore and I want to save up my non-soreness for my workouts!

  27. I’m a law clerk, and I just noticed that the attorney that I work for put a grade on the brief that I wrote for her. (She is not a professor/teacher and never has been. She is just really nuts.) At least she gave it an “A.”

    1. That’s weird. :-P

      Maybe she was starting to write a note and forget to finish it. Has she ever graded any of your other briefs?

      1. A couple of weeks into my current job, I got something back from a senior associate that I had given him to edit with a big “F” on it. Turns out that was just his shorthand for final, not “this is terrible”. So yea, maybe it stands for something or is just her way of saying it’s fine to go out?

    2. I agree this is weird, but at least you are getting some substantive feedback. That is all too rare at law firms.

    3. My dad did that once with one of his law clerks, only he gave it an F. I was horrified and told him to never EVER do that again! (I was his office manager at the time.) At least it was an A, it is weird, but it sounds like she was just trying to compliment the brief.

  28. Make me feel poor Monday! I love this but it is not in my coloring. Can’t complain there though because most of Kat’s pick usually are.

  29. So in my quest to become an adult (at 27) I’m training myself to walk in high heels. I bought (on the recommendation of this site) a pair of Cole Haan Air Talia Mid-height heels, and am able to slowly make my way through the office. For my second pair of heels, I’m looking for something with a wider heel – I find myself feeling really off balance with the thin heel (which seems to be standard.) I want something about 3″ – Kate Spade has some cute thick heeled pumps, but they’re all really high. Does anybody have any recommendations? I see a lot of loafer styles, but I’m looking for (ideally) a pair of really cute pumps that I can wear every day. Colour-wise…nude? Purple? I wear a lot of grey suits.

    Thoughts, feelings opnions?

    1. Start with Naturalizer, Aerosoles and Franco Sarto. Nice thick and tapered stacked heels, cheap and comfortable.

    2. Rockport also has good options. I wore their Lilah pump when I was running all around a huge hotel in D.C. last fall. That one is shorter than you’re looking for, but they have a new, higher version out (Lianna) and plenty of other options.

    3. I just got 2 pairs of heels from Easy Spirit–one black leather, one grey suede–that are surprisingly comfortable. (Bonus: the grey ones were on sale for $30.) I am also trying to train myself to be comfortable in heels.

    4. Have you tried Me Too? They’re a less expensive brand, but I’ve found them to hold up better than my more expensive shoes. They’re super comfortable and they come in a lot of cute colors. I’m wearing a dark purple patent pair today. Wedges might be more comfortable for you too.

    5. I love Sofft heels, and sometimes Born has one or two styles that are very professional looking. They both have nice thick stacked heels, that are usually 2.5″ – 3″ and are soooo comfortable, I can wear them even when I’m running around on my feet for 12 hours straight, and i don’t often wear heels, so that is saying something.

    7. Kate Spade pumps are wonderful to wear. I have several pairs and highly recommend them. For something a bit shorter, the J Crew Drea pumps look just like their Joely pumps from a few years ago and they are perfection. Really.

      1. Those shoes are amazingly cute. Am bookmarking for summer!!

        BTW: do you wear them with pantyhose? with the peep-toe?

      1. Because I’ve started a job where every woman I look up to wears high heels. It’s a corporate-ish environment (very conservative) and I want to not only fit in, but be part of the club. I’ve wanted to work for the Foreign Service my whole life, and I feel at a disadvatange already (I come from a totally different geographic location, I’m young, I look young, I am unexperienced, I’m not a great net-worker) and doing this one little thing helps me feel like I’m doing something right.

        Also – I’ve noticed that the admin women (of which I am one) wear cardigans and slacks with flats, while the non-admin women (and all the men) wear suits and heels. I’d like to move up, so I’m trying to be ‘us’ rather than ‘not-us.’

        So your question got an emotional response. I know it’s silly, and I don’t like them, which is why I’ve never worn them before. But there you go.

  30. Hello! I’ve got some summer associate questions for the Corporette ladies. The firm I will be working for this summer requests a business professional headshot of me that they can circulate around the office. I looked up getting a professional headshot taken in my town, and it runs about $200-300! Do I have to get this, or is a photo taken by a friend with an iPhone okay? (I will dress up and will find the best lighting possible). Thanks.

    1. You don’t need a full-out studio session, but I would be cautious about taking a picture with an iPhone. You’d be better off taking pictures on film (and scanning them) or using a real digital SLR.

    2. I would ask for more details. I have friends that had to submit headshots to their summer firms, and the idea was that they would go to a CVS/Walgreen’s for a passport-style photo and wear a suit (at least on top) for the photo. It wasn’t expected to have the professional background or retouching.

    3. For both of my passport photos, I went to a photography place in a strip mall. It was $10 and they had a backdrop/good lighting/awesome camera and let me see the digitals to make sure I was happy with it and cut it to the right size for the application. I think you could do something similar for a headshot. See if they can e-mail you the photo.

    4. Whatever you do, don’t take a crappy photo without make up standing in front of your wall because you don’t realize what they are going to use said head shot for.

      God…the picture for my summer associate profile that went out to the whole firm was just hideous.

    5. Dude, JCPenney does photoshoots and it’s pretty affordable (less than $50). Seeing as how that option requires at least a week or two (setting up an appointment and time to get the proof and prints), I cheaped out when I had to supply a pic. I dressed up in a suit to hang out with my galpals and walked around midtown looking for suitable backdrops. Found it in the form of stone thingamajigs buildings have in the front to look all classy. Lighting was perfect and the gray stone was the perfect background. Find a building with a nice facade (some stone, red brick may be too colorful), a friend with a camera (SLR not necessary) and snap away.

      1. Awesome, thanks everyone. I guess I wasn’t googling properly when I only found expensive photo sessions.

      2. I’m in Canada, and Walmart also does a decent job. My dh got his convocation photos done at Walmart – they were fine & SO much cheaper than the photographer the university had on site. I got mine done at Sears. Does Target have an onsite photography studio? I guess you might need to worry about is copyright, though, if your firm will be publishing the photo.

    6. I would do the real deal.

      1. You never know what the firm will use this for, even if they currently say they won’t.
      2. You are going to need a professional headshot anyway.
      3. It is a deductible business expense if you pay for it yourself.

    7. Um, have you asked the firm to send you to their place? Surely they cover this for current associates and have a go-to place with a deal already in place. Or maybe an on-site person comes once a year or such which would be different. But you could say you want it to be consistent with the firm’s other photos. I was asked this at my company, and started to look at options, then asked the question. Turns out my company had its own PHOTO CENTER you just walk into and they do it professionally- but the bit*hy assistant did not offer this info until I dug more into it. Granted it’s a big company likely bigger than your firm but just saying- you might ask. I am glad I didn’t waste my own time/money.

  31. Does anyone have any advice about interviews for private wealth management at big banks? I’m a law student, and they know that, but I’m still nervous about how much finance related stuff I’ll be expected to know. It’s first round, 30 minutes. Thanks!

    1. I have friends from business school who interviewed with PW divisions and none of them had finance backgrounds. They only took the core finance courses required of all MBA candidates and nothing more.

      They were, however, very extroverted and friendly, and I think that was important– they’ll have to use those skills to put really rich people at ease. These are the same people who will want you to invest their money, help them with messy inheritance issues, and help them try to legally avoid as much income and estate taxes as possible. Probate law is probably quite useful, if that’s in your background, but it doesn’t seem that too much finance background is necessary beyond the *very* basics. PW firms will train new associates.

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