This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Workwear sales of note for 3.24.23:
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything
- Athleta – 20% off shorts, swim, linen & more
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Boden – Up to 50% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance styles to 70% off. Some pretty serious markdowns!
- Express – 40% off dresses & tops
- J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty
- Talbots – 25% off select styles; 25% off markdowns
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- What are your favorite parts of a typical day?
- At what point in your life (age, income level, whatever) were you able to take an annual vacation?
- What shoes can I keep at the office to go for mid-day walks (that go with everything)?
- How do you release stress or trauma that’s stored in the body?
- What are the best “networking for women events” you’ve ever been to?
- I feel like we’re burning through any savings we acquire…
- I hate my job and make 30% of what DH makes – should I quit?
- What do you keep in your office?
Always a NYer
Love the dress and the color, too bad they don’t have my size.
Threadjack – I’m starting to think about where to have my birthday party this year and want to invite about ten friends to a bar/lounge in NYC. I have no idea where to start looking as I usually don’t have time to go out and when I do my friends and I usually go to the same places. I’d love to mix it up and try something totally new and would love to know what your favorite hotspots are. I’m in my early twenties and the party will be early October if that helps.
Thanks in advance for all of your suggestions, it’s much appreciated!!!
I had my 30th birthday at the Bubble Lounge and loved it.
If you’re into fancy cocktails, going to a speakeasy might be fun! It’s a bit pricey, but I’ve always had a good time at Apotheke in Chinatown.
I went to a birthday party in Koreatown – private room for karaoke – it was a ton of fun and definitely out of the ordinary. Not the right venue if your friends are shy, though!
Always a NYer
Thanks so much for the suggestions! I’ll have to check these places out before October, it gives me a reason to go out ;)
Threadjack — Thanks to the help of Corporette, my work wardrobe is in good shape. My weekend wardrobe, on the other hand, needs serious help. I’ve fallen into the rut of tank tops/shorts/flip flops or t-shirt/jeans/sneakers. Once fall gets here, you can bet I’ll pull out the dreaded yoga pants/fleece jacket combo. My outfits are perfectly functional, but man are they boring, and I feel totally frumpy even though everything fits correctly.
Help, ladies! What do you wear on the weekends, and where do you find it?
Here are my parameters:
1) People in my city are really laid-back. I’d like to look fashionable without trying too hard.
2) I tend to buy weekend stuff on a shoestring budget because I spend more on work clothes, although maybe I need to revisit this.
3) Comfort is key. After a week of dressing up, I am not very enthusiastic about wearing skirts and dresses. Plus, I have a very active toddler boy, so skirts are wardrobe malfunctions waiting to happen.
I have zero sense of style when it comes to casual clothing, so I fall back to functional basics. You can see how I arrived at my boring mom wardrobe, right? :)
Okay don’t laugh, but I seriously recommend jeggings (or skinny jeans, or skinny stretch cords). I thought jeggings were limited to the high school set, until I tried a pair. They are so comfy! And if they’re made from thick enough material, they won’t show every lump and bump the way leggings will. I’ll try to add some links in a response (to avoid getting held up in moderation), but my weekend uniform is some variation of skinny jeans/cords, flats/riding boots, and either a casual plaid button down, drapey sweater, or drapey top. A long necklace looks really nice with the sweater option. I find that these kinds of outfits are very comfy, but still look a little nicer than gym clothes.
Here are some ideas:
Drapey sweater ideas:
Drapey top: http://tinyurl.com/3tpydkq
If you’re looking to spend a little bit more, I recommend checking out Boden — I fell in love with their clothes last year and bought two sweaters (actually, one sweater and a sweater dress that I wear over knit leggings) that were staples of my weekend wardrobe. Their stuff is very well-made and the fibers tend to be high quality (i.e., not itchy!). Here is a sweater I’m eyeing for fall:
And I recommend the Gap’s skinny jeans, I wore a pair of their jeggings twice a week last year and washed them quite a bit and they held up great. Hope that helps!
Thanks, D! I really like those options from Piperlime and LOFT.
Second Gap skinny jeans! I have a hard time finding jeans that fit and these are AMAZING! Make sure you size down though because they tend to stretch a lot.
Yes, I second the jeggings recommendation (GAP makes great ones). My fall/winter uniform is jeggings + riding boots + sweater or a cardi & tanktop. Easy but still stylish!
I don’t think I understand what the difference is between skinny jeans, and jeggings. Is it just a matter of how much Lyrca is mixed in?
I have a pair of GAP skinny jeans that are stretchy and super comfy, but they are jeans, not at all like leggings. I’ve also seen those jean-colored tights that are all folded up and packaged like tights — are those jeggings? I’m just not sure what we’re talking about…
Something that falls in the middle. Jeggings are designed to be worn as pants with a top, they are tighter than skinny jeans but thicker (though not looser)than leggings.
Jeggings come in varying quality depending on where you get them. (Ones from target look tacky and are much closer to leggings, ones from the Gap or BR are thicker, nicer looking and closer to jeans)
They can also vary in price from as little as 12 dollars to as much as 40
My advice, spend the extra money and get nice ones rather than ones that look cheap.
The other thing to try is “treggings” probably not the correct word but it’s what my friends and I use. They are like jeggings made from dress pants and not jeans. Like (most) jeggings they have a zipper and button or snap at the top but are better materials and.. not denim. I always think they look nicer because they have the appearance of being not jeans and the comfort level of leggings, jeggings, etc.
Also, you can always wear designer PJ tops out to dinner, at least in Brooklyn. I tried it and it has become all the rage in Williamsburg. Plus, my boyfriend even liked it so much that he is now wearing the bottoms from my PJ’s when we go out. That way, everyone knows we are a pair!
“Alma Federer” is a close comrade of “Ellen Barshevsky” ’round the ABA/Bitter Lawyer/legal blog comments.
I fall into the same summer rut, but I always pull it together for the fall and winter because it requires more planning for chillier weather.
I don’t think you can go wrong with a few pairs of skinny jeans and a great pair of flat, comfortable riding boots. Personally, I wear Seven For All Mankind Rocker fit jeans, because they are wide enough at the bottom to wear with flats, heels, etc. I bought two pairs of riding boots, both from steve madden – one in a light brown color and one in black. I paired them with chunky sweaters, fly away cardigans, turtlenecks – you name it. I’m not sure what your personal style is, but I recommend getting a few perfect pair of jeans, investing in one or two pair of riding boots and then branching out with your tops accordingly. If you commit to the jeans and the riding boots, wearing the fleece isn’t really an option. The jeans and the riding boots will make you look and feel more put together without looking like you’re trying too hard.
PS – Throwing on a colorful cashmere scarf (Nordstrom has them in about 100 colors each year) always makes me feel more put together as well.
Can it be fall yet please?
Yes please. It’s too hot for outside activity. I miss my patio-sitting happy hours!
Gosh I so love the riding boots jean combo, so much that I almost wish for the shorter days of fall/winter (almost). The great thing about living in a temperate area of the US is that I can wear that combo deep into the winter months.
I know that you said no skirts, but I really love summer casual skirts and would urge you to give them another chance. I picked up a jersey-type skirt from Old Navy a few weeks ago, and I am practically living in it now. It’s pretty long and A-lined, so it’s very functional, and it has a fold-over waist (like yoga pants sometimes do), which allows a lot of adjustment options for fit and length. It was about 18 dollars, so I would urge anyone to look for it.
Otherwise, I would say look for some cotton halter tops instead of tanks- I always feel a little more special in them, but functionally they are the same, and look for some funky jewelry. I’m also a big fan of those bermuda-length shorts (also Old Navy), which just look so much more put together, to me, than regular shorts. Short-sleeve button downs, in a casual fabric and worn un-tucked, can also be a really nice alternative to tee-shirts, without much extra fuss.
I concur with the skinny jeans/skinny cords for fall. Add some comfy boots and a sweater and you have my fall/winter weekend wardrobe!
I actually find skirts to sometimes be more comfortable than pants on the weekend. I wear corduroy and denim skirts with tights and (again) boots a lot on weekends. Add a sweater or a fun t-shirt, and you’re good to go.
(I do have to admit that my summer weekend wardrobe is pretty uninteresting, and is composed mostly of tanks, tees, and shorts.)
You can always just go a little more glam with your current wardrobe. Pick out some cute embellished t-shirts, some fun/stylish sneakers, and a few nice pairs of jeans. For fall, you can just pick up some cute sweaters to swap out with the t-shirts. I think that boots are a bit much for weekends and tend to avoid those as well.
I need to do this with the embellished t-shirt thing. All of my t-shirts are either plain or leftover nursing tops (shhhhhh).
Athleta’s skorts (Anywhere? Any time? It’s named something like that) look like nice, sort of flippy skirts, but have built-in shorts so you don’t need to worry about flashing anyone (the skirt part is a true skirt, not a split skirt). I have been living in mine this summer – great for hot weather and, in my opinion, more flattering than shorts. I recently wore mine to an outdoor concert and it was great – I could sit or loll on the grass and not worry about staying covered. Very comfortable in the insane heat, too.
I imagine you could transition these to fall with knee high boots. Might even be able to do tights because the built-in shorts, while fitted, are not that tight.
Hmm, I’ll have to check them out. I cannot stand sweaty thighs rubbing together (sorry for the gross description, but …), so a skort sounds like a much better idea.
Exactly. The built-in shorts prevent that problem. The fabric of the one I have is some sort of “tech” fabric, so it feels a little slippery/synthetic, but really works very well in heat and humidity (I’m in DC, so I know from heat and humidity) – it seems to both wick and dry quickly. It totally doesn’t stick to you when it’s hot out.
Athleta is also good with the shipping and returns, I can’t remember the exact cost (they’re Gap family, so it might be $7 to ship?) for shipping and/or returning, but you get a pre-printed label for the returns so it’s pretty easy to just drop off the package.
Speaking of, has anyone ordered from 6pm.com recently? I see it’s a flat $6.95 to ship, but return is “the responsibility of the customer” and I’m wondering if they provide a label and deduct the return cost or if I have guess the cost of the return and go stand in line at UPS or the Post Office.
I did a return from them last October and they didn’t provide a label and deduct.
I returned some items to 6pm last week and they still don’t provide a label. I really wonder why they don’t use a flat-rate prepaid return label since basically they’re the outlet end of Zappos. I doubt it would cost them much at all.
Btw, occasionally 6pm knocks shipping down to $3.95 or so.
Could you give me a rough idea of how much it cost to return the items? Having to stand in line at UPS or the Post Office is a big negative, but I might be willing to consider it to try a pair of knee high boots that are on sale for $43!
I wear sundresses with a floppy hat every day during the summer. Much more elegant than shorts and a tank, and it’s actually cooler and more comfortable, too. If you’re worried about wardrobe malfunctions, just wear bike shorts under the skirt.
Instead of cheap flipflops, wear nicer ones – Mephisto has some good leather options that are supportive even for walking long distances and will last forever. I have the Fit Flop Pietra and I think it’s really nice looking.
When jeans weather hits, wear a nice-looking top instead of a t-shirt, and don’t wear athletic shoes. Puma has some very nice looking ballet-style sneakers. When it gets cold, wear riding boots with your jeans tucked in.
I’m all about the sundress + floppy hat in the summer. I have the Patagonia Margot dress (on sale now in web specials on the Patagonia website) in three colors/prints, and it is very comfortable. I was thinking about getting the 3/4 sleeve version (not on sale) for fall, although I’m not sure I’ll like then shorter length for fall as much as I do for summer.
I tend to have a “uniform” for the weekends. During the summer, I live in jersey dresses, khaki skirts and cotton tops. In the colder months, I stick to skinny jeans and cords, flat boots and cashmere sweaters. I also wear skirts a lot in the winter. A corduroy or denim skirt is actually quite worry free when worn with tights and flat boots.
And I LOVE this dress.
Thanks for all the suggestions. I REALLY wish I could rock the skinny jeans. For a size 10 woman with sizable hips and thighs, it’s a risky look. I have never once received a compliment when wearing skinnies. Which sucks because I think they look awesome with boots.
I really love the outfits in the Athleta and Boden catalogs — casual, laid-back, yet pulled-together. I just wish they were a little less expensive!
E as in oebe
I’m a size 4 but hippy and I think skinny jeans look terrible on me – I look like an ice cream cone :) I prefer bootcut or straight leg jeans or cords with either flats or flat boots (under the jeans). Most the suggestions above apply just as well without the skinny jeans!
I’m also in the 2-4 range and get the ice cream cone look with skinny jeans. Plus, I can’t get them over my calves, but they are still too big in the waist! I don’t have particularly large calves, either, knee high boots are not a problem. It’s weird.
That said, I bought a pair (well, 2) of the Gap’s “Real Straight” (I think that’s the name) jeans last fall and I love them. The silhouette is similar to skinnies, but avoids the ice cream cone look. They could probably be tucked into boots, but much as I love the look, I think it makes me look stumpy.
Ditto – am also hippy, and I love the Real Straights – they’re as skinny as I need them to be. And I’ve been able to tuck them into boots, but they don’t look unbalanced with flats.
Do the Real Straight jeans stretch out with wearing as much as Gap bootcut jeans? Or do you wash the jeans after every wear, maybe?
I haven’t noticed the same amount of stretching that I had with the Long and Leans. Which is to say, they do stretch some, but I don’t think have the same saggy b*tt issue that I have with the L&L. I’ll get several wears out of them and only feel the need to wash them because they’re dirty, not because they are stretched out.
I actually have 2 pairs, same size, same length, different washes and they each fit a little differently, so ymmv.
E as in oebe
I have those too and like them. I do find that they stretch out so I have to wash them every 2-3 wears.
Yep, they do stretch out some. But they are really comfy and flattering, nonetheless. I also have found that they have shrunk in length, which is okay with me – now I have one pair I use for flats and another pair that I am more careful about drying (I think the dryer shrinks things more than just washing) for heels.
There is a line at Gap Outlet (yay, cheaper!) called Curvy Straight that fit my slightly hip-y but mostly thigh-y size 12 bottom
I agree that skinnies are hard for hippy women. Luckily, wide leg jeans seem to be getting trendy now – I’ve seen a lot of them in stores.
Try eBay if a brand is too expensive–I have scored some excellent deals, and Sierra Trading Post has Athleta and similar sports brands at significant discounts, and if you sign up for their email flyer, you get free shipping offers and extra discounts.
I suggest you take note of what people are wearing in your milieu–and decide for yourself what to copy and what to avoid! You can do it!
I’m a size 12 with definite hips and thighs, so I hear you. There’s an easy solution, though — instead of skinny jeans, just buy boot-cuts instead and wear them with flat or near-flat ankle boots (jeans legs going outside the boots).
I second mamabear’s suggestion of checking out all the “mom on the go” formulas on Angie’s You Look Fab blog. I’m not a mom, but got ***great*** ideas from these for my weekend/casual wear. I like comfort too much to be wearing anything remotely dressy on weekends.
I wouldn’t count yourself out just because of your size. I’m also a size 10 (albeit a long-legged one) and tend to carry more weight in my hips/thighs as well, and I think with the right top, you can make it work. Long and flowy, possibly with a defined belted waist, is your friend. Honestly, I think it took my eyes a little bit of time to adjust to the different silhouette–the first time I wore skinnies I thought they looked really weird–but they’ve grown on me and now I really love the look. I think the key is to find tops that don’t end right at your widest part.
I don’t see what is wrong with dressing casually for casual occasions, especially if you have a toddler boy who is likely to mess up your clothes. Just make sure your clothes are clean and that they don’t show signs of massive wear (holes, pilling, etc.)
But if you want to look a little more “fashionable,” I suppose you can throw a cardigan on top of whatever t-shirt/tank-top you’re wearing to look more put together and wearing wedge sandals/wedge pumps instead of flip-flops. As for keeping warm in the fall, I find wool coats/trenches really nice looking and comfortable.
I think you need a couple of outfit formulas. Angie over at youlookfab has some formulas for mom on the go, but here’s one that would be an easy transition for you
Print flowy blouse (washable of course)
long knit vest or cardigan
If you have a few formulas like that you can always look fairly put-together on the weekends and not have a huge weekend wardrobe.
I just saw your comment about your shape. This formula would work just as well with a denim or other cotton fabric knee-length skirt, worn with tights or leggings if it’s cold.
You can find items like this at all prices. You don’t have to go to Athleta, which I agree is overpriced for what you get.
This dress is lovely. I don’t feel comfortable wearing a pure silk dress in an office setting, however.
Why wouldn’t someone want to wear a pure silk dress to the office? I ask because I’m a synthetic girl and new convert to natural fibers, and also a new convert to work appropriate fashion, so I’m curious if pure silk dress=fashion faux pas.
I don’t think it’s a faux pas at all. I think it would be perfect for an office if worn with a slip.
The silk looks thin and lustrous…I would feel too sexy wearing a skirt of this material, but that is me. It also looks a lot like a dress I saw someone wearing on Greenwich Street. When the wind blew the thin dress clung to her every curve, including those beneath the waist.
Because it wrinkles, horizontally, spots easily and can look too dressy –like special occasion dressy–depending….
It’s not very practical, and looks like you have a lot of time and money to spend on your clothing, instead of your career…
This dress looks more like raw silk which does not look special occasion to me at all.
The dress is beautiful — does anyone know how D&G sizing runs?
L from Oz
I only have one pair of their trousers, but I found they didn’t run as small as I thought – I got my normal (European) size.
This dress is stunning, but even if I dress up more than most in my office, a silk dress is a bit too much. Besides, I’m nowhere near a size four. And I can’t afford it. Still, a lovely dress.
Incidentally, I may be making myself too important, but on the off chance people may wonder where I am, I have a large work project to finish off, and then a MONTH (yippeee!) of holiday, so I won’t be posting much until late October. Happy posting/shopping/summer until then.
Green with envy :) enjoy your holiday!
Loooooove that dress. I dream of the day when I will see $495 as a bargain instead of a splurge!
This may get stuck in moderation because of the link, but I offer this dress as an affordable alternative:
I own it in a royal blue color (no longer available) and I love it. A word of caution: It is probably for the Corporettes that are 5’6” and under. I’m 5’8” and it’s just a hair’s breath too short to be office appropriate.
I’m always hesitant with tie-back stuff — reminds me too much of maternity clothes. Since I tend to carry my weight in my stomach, I’m afraid if I ever wear anything tie-back, the when-are-you-due comments will start. Maybe if you have a really flat stomach …
Threadjack, ladies: I’m a lawyer in my second year (clerked for the first one) and have been at my current firm for about 3 months. Firm is very small, I’m the only associate, current partners have been together since I was in pre-school, though they’ve had other attorneys come and go in the past. Prior to my work here, I spent about 6 months working in a sort of half-solo/half-partnership deal (“working” then was a bit of an exaggeration, which is why I made the move).
Anyway, the partners have been asking me what they could improve about the firm to make it more efficient/profitable/etc. On one hand, it’s *great* that they care about my opinion on such things. But, on the other hand, I have nothing to tell them. Really, I’ve been very happy and the firm seems to have things down well. My only real complaint is that I’d personally like a little bit more work and pressure, but I don’t think that that ties into their question. I’m sure that there are changes that could be made, but I honestly don’t know what they are. So, I’m at a loss when asked.
I realize that this is kind of a stupid problem (“Help, things are too good!”), but does anyone have any suggestions for how to answer that question or how to look for suggestions that could be made? TIA!
I suggest you shift the focus off of you and your individual role, and instead think like a partner about the direction/future of the firm: What could we do to attract more clients, get higher-level work, take ourselves to the next tier? Do we need to market ourselves more? Start specializing in these XYZ areas? Hire people with expertise in X? Attend more legal conferences and build up more contacts? What does the ideal law firm look like, and how can we be more like that? Is there a competitor out there we can learn from? A hot new area that we should start focusing on?
I’m not a lawyer, so I can’t give you specific suggestions to offer, but in summary – take this opportunity to show that you’re a long-term thinker and have the best interests of the firm at heart.
All of those things sound really good, but I’m just not sure what the answers to any of them are. (I’ll admit that while I’m a really good put-your-head-down-and-get-work-done sort of person, the planning and managment and ideas aspects have never been my strong points.) We’ve started some new marketing recently, which I think is a good idea, but I don’t have any ideas beyond that. No room for hiring, and the firm’s always been a sort of jack-of-all-trades type, and I don’t think that they’re looking to change (nor do I really know what could be changed to).
I’ll be on the lookout for areas or competitors, but I’ve not seen one yet. Not sure about legal conferences- anyone have any suggestions for how to find good ones that will meet these goals? I guess, on the whole, law firms are so diverse that I’m just not sure what a good one looks like. :)
As a young and internet savvy (I assume since you’re here on Corporette!) person, can you provide any insight about the firm’s website and other use of technology for marketing purposes? That could be valuable to older, more traditional partners who are in the middle of new marketing initiatives.
Slot of firms I know use inter-related areas to expand and increase business. Ie: negligence/pi gets clients from a bankruptcy branch. People going brupt tend to be stressed and accidents happen, minds elsewhere. That type of thing. Dunno what field you are in tho
Are there any weaknesses you can see in their case management system? I’d guess they are looking at how to streamline basic administrative tasks that take away from billable hours. What about how work is distributed with respect to the assistants? Are there tasks you do that could be better handled by an assistant?
I think any senior partner would be pleased with an associate who says, “I want to think intelligently about that question, but I feel that to do that, I need to know what the firm’s goals are.” You could assume that they want to grow and expand their client base to the point where there is more “big firm” pressure on an associate, but perhaps that’s not what they want. My Dad was in a very small firm for years and their goal was to be as available as possible to their mainstay clients, and word of mouth was crucially important to them. But they didn’t want to bring in the “troublesome” clients just to expand their client base. I hope that makes sense. Perhaps a sit-down with the partners (or some of them) to talk about firm goals now that you’ve been there a little while would help you both to answer their question and to be more a part of the “team” and to seek out contacts and clients in a way that will make you even more valuable to the firm.
One thing to keep in mind is that they may be asking you in part because you’re the youngest, newest person around. In my office I get pulled in to a lot of discussions that don’t necessarily have to do with my subject area simply because I’m the newest person around and can bring a “fresh perspective.”
Could you talk to some of your law school classmates who work at small/medium firms and ask what they think their firms are doing particularly well? Or maybe do some networking through your state bar association’s young lawyers section? Try to think of resources to go to that your older partners might not have access to which can give you advice that is more tailored to your situation than what you get on an anonymous internet forum.
Some thoughts … On a personal level, are they training you on how to eventually bring in clients? Are you getting out enough to get to know people? On a broader level, how do the partners bring in clients? Who are your clients? What could you do to service them in more areas?
As for legal conferences — so much depends on your practice area. If you’re jack of all trades, I would focus on the local/state bar more. But I would also think about industry conferences that are less lawyer-focused, where you’re more likely to meet potential clients, instead of lawyers who might refer you to potential clients. What these would be would depend on the type of work you do.
No Drama Momma
As lovely as the dress is, for me $475 is just as out-of-reach as $1900. But someone will be lucky and buy it!
I am in the mood for looking at some real fall work clothes – I’m thinking tweed, wine or dark green color families, shiny silk blouses, gold jewelry. I’m thinking suede shoes or boots, a touch of knit. Anyone else thinking along the same lines? Hey, it’s almost September!
YES. I keep browsing all the fall collections online while it is a stifling 90 degrees and 80% humidity outside. I am so ready for fall fashion!
Same here. I love fall clothes. My favorite fashion season. J.Crew has some amazing stuff.
Totally! Fall is my favorite season and the color palette suits me the best since I’m a redhead. I can’t wait to wear boots either!
I sort of wish the survey had included hair color. We seem to have a really disproportionately high percentage of redheads on this site!
Yes, it would have been interesting to see if we are overrepresented here. Yay for over-achieving redheads!
Ooooh, that’s beautiful. I wish I could justify $495 for a dress that won’t fit me for at least a year. But I’m pretty tempted.
Do you other preggo ladies out there hold off on buying pricier non-maternity items while you can’t really try them on and/or wear them for quite awhile? I tend to let these things pass by because by the time I figure out if it the fit really works on me the return period will be long over.
But still. Drool.
When I was pregnant I just gave up on looking at non-maternity stuff – I would look at baby stuff instead. :) Or nursing tops. I also found that I had no idea what shape my body was going to be postpartum (eg it is different now than in between kids, and also different from pre-kids), so it was best not to buy anything.
Wait. I don’t know if this is your first baby, but a lot of women don’t return to their original shape after pregnancy, so even if you get back to the same size styles that looked good on you before may not look good again.
SF Bay Associate
Really? The actual body shape changes, not just the weight?? I had no idea. Dammit. I’m a few years away from that stage of life, but that really puts an expiration date on what I hoped would be long-term enjoyment of my wardrobe.
Well, not for everyone. My stomach is squishier, which seems to be a common issue (it seems especially so for people who have C-sections, I guess because of the incision). I also have friends whose feet got permanently bigger, whose hips widened, and whose breasts got permanently larger. But some women get back to their original figure, too.
Don’t fret yet. Everyone is different. This is true for some women and not for others. Many people I know (including myself) are actually skinnier 9 months after giving birth than pre-pregnancy due to nursing. But, that being said, everyone reacts differently to pregnancy so I would not go around buying a bunch of regular clothes while pregnant and expect them to fit.
And if nursing is your plan, get ready for several months to a year (or more!) of planning a wardrobe around nursing tanks and bras. Ugh. I cannot wait to be done with that!
Yep! My ribcage and back seemed to expand so while I returned to my old weight, some of my suit jackets no longer fit across the back and the sleeves pulled my shoulders. My feet are 1/2 size bigger as well.
YES your body shape definitley changes!
My ribcage and back seemed to expand so while I returned to my old weight, some of my suit jackets no longer fit across the back and the sleeves pulled my shoulders. My feet are 1/2 size bigger as well.
E as in oebe
I’m not pregnant yet but I’m hoping to be soon and have stopped shopping. I’m very skinny now and there’s a pretty good chance that things that fit me right now won’t ever fit again after babies. For now, I’m focusing on shoes and accessories instead :)
Hate to break it to you, but shoe size often increases after pregnancy. I went from a reliable 9.5 to a 10. So don’t spend too much on those shoes! :)
Ack! Shoes are the best part of my wardrobe!
ks we are twins – I also went from a 9.5 to a 10. For me it was a good change because I was really a 9.5 narrow and that was a pretty hard size to find compared to 10 medium.
I’m with you mambear. Size 9.5 of any stripe (medium, wide, etc.) are generally hard to find unless you’re spending big $$. I’ve never understood this – half sizes exist all up and down the shoe size scale, why not in between 9 and 10? A true mystery of the universe.
While few women would wish for bigger feet, in our case it was good thing!
Uh…try find a half size after size 10, those are almost non-existent in the US. 9.5s exist, I just think they are really popular, so they sell out quickly.
I went from a 9.5 up to 11 (!!!!!!) during the last trimester, and only returned to a 10.
Is it true that if you use good arch support while pregnant your foot will not get bigger? Or old wives tale?
I’ve never been pg, but one of the things that worries me about it is that I might not come back to the same body, even after losing the weight. (For e.g, my sister-in-law mentioned recently that her hips have spread to the point that she’s never going to be the same size in pants, regardless of weight loss.) I’m not sure how big a problem that is, but, since I’m considering it sometime in the near future, I’ve been hesitant to buy investment bottoms/dresses. (Am I being too worried? I’m really not sure.)
Ha, I didn’t see Ruby or E’s responses when I typed mine. I guess I have my answer! (Though to respond to E as in Oebe’s response, I’ve heard that some women’s feet spread and don’t go back, so even shoes concern me a little bit. But I’m cheap and the whole concept of “investment pieces is something that I really have to wrestle with.)
It varies a lot…shoes are same size as before even though they got mammoth while pg. Hips and tummy will never be the same (even though I now weigh less than I did before I was pregnant with either kid).
It definitely varies. I am the same size, but the shape is different, so pants fit differently. Dresses mostly fit the same, skirts are different (my waist is a bit bigger).
By the time I was back into the pre-preg clothes, it ended up being after baby #2 – I didn’t get quite as small after #1 – and by then, 4 years later, the pants I had been keeping in case I fit back into them were out of style. :)
Actually, this is my 4th. I think the long term effects on your body really vary by person. I have always returned to my pre-pregnancy weight, size and wardrobe, but I must admit my bust has been gradually shrinking with every child. My feet never changed.
So, in my original comment I was assuming I’d be back to my same size and just lamenting that I couldn’t check the fit of a particular dress for a long time. But, I suppose it’s possible I’ll end up a different shape and/or size after this one. Sigh. I think it’s a real possibility I won’t need a bra at all.
I think that you’re likely to have the same experience after every pregnancy – it seems to be the first one that brings the biggest change. Plus, the resale value of this dress will probably be high if you end up unable to wear it. (So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’m an enabler.)
Well, thank you for the enabling. I like it. It feels better than daydreaming of when I might look normal in my clothes again!
I always went back to the same weight fairly quickly, but none of my old clothes ever fit right again. Or my old shoes. I pretty much had to start over with my wardrobe.
This thread makes me want to cry. I’m at 8 months (all belly) and I’ve been dreaming of the day I can wear my normal clothes again. Thankfully, my shoe size hasn’t changed and I’m hoping that since I made it this far it won’t since my shoes are definitely in the “investment’ price range.
I have a few kids ;) and it takes a while for your body to look “normal” after giving birth. Some things change forever – your tummy may be softer (especially if you get stretch marks), your boobs will get big from BFing (changing your shirt size completely), then will be much smaller after you stop (again changing how you look in shirts and dresses), only to get bigger once they fill out again. Your hips may be a bit wider forever. Heck, even yoru shoe size may change. Thus, after you have your baby, you’ll need to shop a bit, but buy things on sale because they won’t fit for long and you have no idea what your final, post baby body will look like. That is to say, don’t buy non-maternity stuff right now! Worry about it in a few months. Otherwise, you’ll be frustrated that you have these gorgeous things in your closet and no idea if and when they’ll fit.
I’m not crazy about the color. Maybe it’s the photo, but the armholes look really deep. Is there a lining extension that would cover one’s bra?
I’m getting a Joan from Mad Men vibe from the neckline of this dress. And that’s not a bad thing! Still, not in my size, and even if it were, not in my price range.
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
I went to the Ann Taylor Factory Store this weekend and was hard pressed to find a hemline of inappropriate length (they were all knee length or longer). Why is this so drastically different from the reglar Ann Taylor stores?
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
PSA: Also discovered this weekend, the Cacique (sp?) t-shirt bra. Love more thanI thought I could love a bra. I wear a 38DDD (had to size up to a 40DDD b/c the band runs small), but it is so comfortable, smooth under the most clingy (clingiest?) jersey dresses in my closet, and semi-convertible (only the back portion of the strap can change). Best of all, it made me look a full size smaller. I threw the Victoria’s Secret bra I had on in the trash before I left the store.
You should try the Le Mysterie Dream Tisha bra if you like the Cacique bra. I tried it after people raved about it on this forum, and I will never go back. I’m a 38DD and I didn’t know my shape could look like that!
I agree, VS bras are garbage!
Someone asked about the green shirt dress from Anthro: http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=22806756&catId=CLOTHES-DRESSES&pushId=CLOTHES-DRESSES&popId=CLOTHES&navCount=12&color=030&isProduct=true&fromCategoryPage=true&isSubcategory=true&subCategoryId=CLOTHES-DRESSES-SOLID&templateType=subCategory.
I got it this weekend and love it. The only problem with it is that it has these weird snaps on the side above the zipper. I’ve never seen anything like it, and I don’t know why they didn’t just do the zipper all the way to the arm. Anyway, it makes it a little difficult to put on, but I loved the way it fit so much that I decided to buy it anyway.
On another note, what do y’all think of this dress, which I also bought (on sale) this weekend? http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=20976874&catId=SHOPSALE-DRESSES2&pushId=SHOPSALE-DRESSES2&popId=SHOPSALE&navCount=48&color=049&isProduct=true&fromCategoryPage=true&templateType=D
Do you think it would look weird with a cardigan over it because you couldn’t get the whole motif?
I think that you’d want a cardigan close to the motif colors – that soft blue or green, or even cream – but that it’d work.
I almost bought the second dress, but I’m on a shopping ban for a while. I think it would look fine with a cardigan or a 3/4 length jacket. Great pick
I love the color of this dress. Most of all though, I love the appropriate office ready styling of this look. The shoes and purse go great with this look and make this dress look like a million bucks. Had this model worn sky high open toe sandals like on most websites, this dress would be much less interesting at first glance.
hey Corporettes –
New-ish reader, brand new commenter! I have a quick job search question that I was hoping to throw out to the hive mind. How do you address the recipient of a cover letter? In particular, what do you do if you cannot figure out the gender of the recipient?
For one particular job that I’m applying for, I have the HR coordinator’s full name and address, but she/he unfortunately has a gender ambiguous first name. Google stalking has not yielded an online presence, so I cannot for the life of me figure out if I should address this person as Mr. So-and-so or Ms. So-and-so. I’m currently leaning towards “Dear Full Name”, but I would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks in advance!
Yes, “Dear Full Name:” is the best way if you really don’t know gender, but try to sleuth out the person’s gender online before you give up.
If you have a direct dial, try calling at night to see if you can listen to the HR coordinator’s voicemail. (Not always a perfect solution, because sometimes the person’s secretary will record the vm message, but probably the HR coordinator will record his/her own vm message.) Or better yet, figure out an excuse to get the person on the phone during the day.
As a person with a gender ambiguous name myself, I much prefer “Dear Full Name”.
Gender ambiguous name here as well – I would just go with Dear Full Name, although if you’re wrong it’s hardly the first time it will have happened to said person.
Has your google stalking included flickr? I had a person’s name but not their title and actually tracked them down on flickr. There had been a corporate/public event and someone put the pics up on flickr and tagged them.
But as a woman with a masculine name (no gender ambiguity here at all, it’s just wrong) I would MUCH prefer Dear Full Name, than getting my gender wrong. Which has been happening since the military wanted me to register for the draft and sent me razors at 17. Not good memories to dredge up.
PSA — for all those waiting for an update on the younger employee who threw a tantrum when she didn’t get a promotion — A responded on the Weekend Open Thread last night. It’s on the first page, comment 51 at the moment.
And now I’m off to ponder the degree of my own nosiness.
Yes to Curly Fries
Long-time lurker, first time poster here, in need of hairdresser-related advice. I’ve been going to the same hairstylist for three years, dropping $200 every eight weeks on a trim and highlights. After three years of bimonthly appointments we’re pretty good friends… He once took me out to dinner when I showed up to my appointment in tears over a bad breakup. Anyhow, this past weekend I forgot I’d scheduled an appointment and stood him up! It was extra bad since I was his first appointment of the day. (The salon usually does a reminder call 48 hours in advance, but that didn’t happen this time, and I spaced on writing it down on my calendar.) I called the salon to grovel/aplogize and reschedule, but I’m wondering if there’s any etiquette as to how to handle it with him? Should I double-tip or something? I really value my relationship with this guy … and the prospect of trying to find another hairstylist who can work with my difficult hair fills me with dread. Any tips??
PS, just want to say how much I was THRILLED to find a site like this with such nice/interesting/supportive/valuable commenters! I’ve recommended it to all my friends :)
I would just apologize profusely at your next appointment (maybe bring him a latte or a cupcake or something?) and let it go. You didn’t light his work station on fire, you just spaced on an appointment, and most of us have probably been there at some point (be it for a hair appointment, dentist, etc. etc).
I don’t think there’s any etiquette for the situation, per se (actually my salon keeps credit card info on file and charges a fee if you don’t show up). I do think it would be a nice gesture to double the tip, and that’s what I would do. Don’t worry about being dropped; there’s no way he’s going to give up a client who spends $1200/yr and has only been a no-show once.
I did this once to my amazing wax lady. After profuse apologizing and a double tip the next time I saw her, it’s like it never happened.
I think tipping more the next time you go would be nice, or you could get him a small gift (wine, chocolate, flowers) at your next appt if you think he’d appreciate anything like that.
Thanks all for the advice!
I live in Europe, and I will be on vacation in NYC at the end of the month. I am planning to do some workwear shopping – clothing is still substantially cheaper in the US, due to the Euro/dollar exchange rate and high EU import duties. I would appreciate any recommendations as to where I should shop – I am mostly interested in well-tailored, higher quality clothing in natural fabrics (and hopefully non-boxy). For now on my list of brands to shop for are: (1) Theory; (2) DvF; (3) BCBG; (4) Anthroplogie; (5) maybe also: BR, Ann Talor. I find J Crew and Brooks Brothers generally too boxy for my body type, unfortunately.
For Theory you have to check out Nordstrom Rack in NYC. They carry a few of the other brands above on and off (I’ve seen DvF and BCBG) but their Theory selection is awesome!
Centuary 21 right near ground zero has all of these brands on discount. The store is pretty disorganized, so it’s not a relaxing shopping experience but you can get great deals. I’ve found it is better to go on “off hours” – in the evening or first thing in the morning to beat the crowds.
in addition to the above:
1) Loehmann’s on sixth ave and 17th street – messy, but discounted
2) Woodbury Commons, which is a car-ride away … IF you can somehow get yourself up there (they have a bus, you can rent a car, or maybe a local friend …) that’s going to be your biggest bang for buck. They have outlets for most of the brands you mention, plus a Nordstrom Rack, Saks off Fifth … etc.
3) Check out sample sales. NYMag.com has a good list upcoming sales.
Check out Bloomingdales, which has a lot of the brands you are looking at – perhaps even set yourself up with a personal shopper and she can pull things for your prior to you even setting foot in the store. I wouldn’t call your last three (Anthropologie, Ann Taylor, or Banana Republic) high-end, well-tailored clothing; they’re in a different class than your first three listed (Theory, DVF, BCBG).
Thanks all for the fabulous recommendations!
You could also call the company or HR dept. and indicate you are writing correspondence to that person and need to know how the person should be addressed. They will probably tell you if it is a he or she.
argh — this is supposed to be a reply to ex-nyer above…
Hi Ladies – long time lurker, first time poster!
I am attending a wedding in Sept. and would like to wear a gold skirt that I recently bought (it is a Vera Wang Lavender Label skirt that I found at a consignment shop, tags on, for dirt cheap). The color of the skirt is similar to this dress
I am lost as to what kind of top would look nice with this color skirt. FWIW the skirt is full and has pleats. So I am thinking a slim/sleek top would probably be best. But what color?
I would greatly appreciate your help! Thanks.
I think a jewel colored top would look great. Something with a simple neckline like this http://www.bluefly.com/Rebecca-Beeson-cognac-jersey-ruched-front-short-sleeve-t-shirt/cat20212/314044202/detail.fly but perhaps without the ruching. And definitely some coordinating jewelry.
Thanks Bonnie! That is a really good suggestion, and I wasn’t even thinking of that color!
If it’s your color, what about a nice olive green? I think something fitted, in a nice (not completely matte) fabric could look stunning. Perhaps olive isn’t typically seen as a formal, but I think it would look lovely with the gold skirt.
Purple, or a jewel tone. So pretty!
Thanks so much ladies! I really appreciate it. I was thinking of just getting a boring white top!
We have a firm retreat soon which will involve water sports (skiing, tubing, etc.) as well as lounging by the hotel pool. I have never been to a firm retreat and have a question about bathing suits. The only bathing suits I own are bikinis. Does anyone have any recommendations for firm retreat appropriate swimming suits – maybe some cute one-pieces?
Try Lands End, both their traditional line and the Lands End Canvas.
J.Crew and Land’s End Canvas have nice one-pieces.
After doing a quick browse, I like the Jersey Lomellina one-shoulder ruched tank from J. Crew.
The Jersey Lomellina one-shoulder ruched tank is cute, but would look ridiculous for any sporting activities on the water (tubing, water skiing, etc).
I just want to take a moment to b1tch about your company doing this as a corporate retreat. So inappropriate!
I agree, Land’s End is the best source for one-piece styles.
Aw, my former firm had these types of retreats and I loved them. So much fun. And I’m not now (and never have been) bikini-ready. Miss that place a ton actually…
I would recommend a tankini instead of a one-piece as the one pieces are kind of a pain if you have to use the restroom. I’ve found a lot of decent styles at Dillard’s that are fairly modest but still cute. Athleta also has nice tankini styles.
You don’t have to take the whole suit off, you know. You just move the gusset aside.
And then you’re sitting there, strenuously avoiding not peeing on your hand. It’s doable but not fun or convenient.
I like Athleta bathing suits. I have two of their bikinis, but I like their coverage and ability to stay put, and I would try their one-pieces or maybe a tankini.
I would also look for some coordinating board shorts or another cover up that I could wear in the water for the water sports activities.
M in CA
I love the Esther Williams-style bathing suits out there — do a search online to find it. The ones I have take a few weeks to arrive so that may not work if your retreat is soon.
Can you bring two bathing suits? If so, I’d suggest a Speedo or athletic-type for the water sports and something a little more fun for the lounging.
Wolford has some sophisticated one-pieces that I love for this kind of event (and a lot on sale right now!).
I got a great two-piece from Gap Body online that I love–they might have one-pieces.
I have a large chest so I made my own one piece by buying an extra large tankini top and a regular small bikini bottoms. The top (since it was xl for “the girls”) covered all my skin and passed the top of the bikini bottom. Actually only about one inch of the bikini bottom showed. It turned out modern, fun and flattering and not too sexy. I still have cleavage in but I’m not going to be able hide that in any bathing suit. I felt covered up and able to participate in sports and was much more comfortable than if I was in a typical one piece or bikini. The long tankini top covered my butt too which made me much less self-conscious. Regular tankinis don’t fall that way but if you buy one too big like I did, it will.
Swimoutlet [dot] com has the cheapest and best swimwear in the world if you’re looking for something functional. You can get a Nike or Speedo racing suit (lots of coverage) in a fun pattern. Or pick up a two piece practice suit (more coverage than a bikini, but still a two-piece). They also have great water sport gear for surfing, etc.
I’d pick up a pair of women’s board shorts, and a two piece practice suit and rash guard in complimentary colors if you’re going to be doing the more active water sports.
If you think you’ll be really self-conscious, you could always go the rash-gard over bikini bottom route.
Thanks everyone for the great advice. I actually have over a month before the retreat so I have time to order something online. My issues with tankinis before was that gap of skin that was exposed from where the top meets the bottom….definitely not an area I want to highlight…so the larger top sounds like a great idea. Time to go shopping!
Tankini tops are much longer than they were in the past. I used to have the same problem since I have a long torso, but now it seems like I can find a lot that reach the top of the leg opening.
Help! Has anyone successfully managed stubborn adult acne?
I have had on-again off-again skin my whole life and lately I’ve been off. It got really bad while I was pregnant and it is slightly better now (almost a year later) but not great. I’m almost 30 and am so sick of having bad skin and worrying about looking professional at work/attractive outside of work.
I’ve tried all of the normal stuff and can’t take prescriptions right now because I’m nursing, so my dermatologist said that cosmetic procedures/laser were really my only option at this point.
I was doing some research online and see there are a few different options: (1) Isolaz (2) light therapy (3) smoothbeam and (4) various peals.
I would love to hear anyone’s experiences with these procedures (or other miracle solutions!).
FWIW, I don’t have any issues with scarring, just moderate cystic acne around my chin and forehead/hairline. I am religious about washing my face before bed, only wear mineral makeup, don’t use hair products, etc. I do everything “right” but still have problems. TYIA.
This is my experience only, but I also struggled with adult breakouts, and I noticed a dramatic (read – almost no breakouts) difference in my skin since making two dietary changes. (1) No soy, ever, in any form. (2) Eggs once a week at most.
Giving up dairy, on the other hand, made no difference, so I’m happily back to eating cheese and yogurt and drinking milk.
I know how frustrating it is so I figured I’d share my experience, might be worth trying!
That’s funny, my adult acne seems to be getting better when I drink lots of soy milk. Unfortunately I can’t stand to drink it all the time and haven’t yet found a better solution. I just use all the concealer I never needed as a teenager because I had wonderful skin back then …
Are the peels chemical? How are they different than just using Retin-A, as far as compatibility with breastfeeding?
Retin-A and the Clarisonic, plus benzoyl peroxide spot treatments are the solution for me.
Ditto. Im 30 and have had acne problems for years. Retin-A plus the Clarisonic have completely cleared upy skin. I thought I washed my face really well, but the Clarisonic has really helped. Good luck.
Ditto. Had amazing skin throughout adolescence, teenage years, and my early to mid-twenties. Once I turned 27 my skin became very problematic. I’ve tried everything – diet (went vegan for a bit), various products, facials. I’ve found that an all natural french skin care line – Yonka – combined with regular facials helps (my aesthetician also uses a blue lazer that kills bacteria). Look it up on makeupalley dot com. It’s all natural too so I imagine it would be good for those who are pregnant/breast feeding.
My skin is starting to plateau and was thinking of purchasing the Clarisonic. What model do you gals recommend? I’ve heard mixed reviews on the Mia. Is it worth it to spring for the classic or plus?
Thanks in advance!
I had the same problem when I was pregnant/nursing. About 6 weeks postpartum, I went to the dermatologist. They prescribed a benzoyl peroxide wash, an antibiotic ointment, and a strong retinol ointment. The doctor and pharmacist reassured me that it was perfectly ok to use while nursing. I did that for a bit, and it did help some. The thing that worked even better was Aveda’s acne line of washes and moisturizers. The problem did not completely resolve itself, however, until I stopped nursing. You may just have to live with it a bit longer. Good luck!
I’m confused as to why a face wash and a topical medication are different from face peels? I would suggest getting prescription strength medication from your dermatologist; I’m in my 30s, have adult acne (well I’ve had acne since I was an early teenager, but that’s another story), and use a combination of benzyl peroxide, sulfur wash, and Retin-A. The last thing I want to resort to with my acne is pill medication (usually an antibiotic of some sort) so it’s managed via washes and creams.
I highly recommend the Clarisonic. It will be cheaper than the average peel so it can’t hurt. Since I’ve started using it, I rarely get any cystic acne, and those that I do get tend to go away much more quickly.
I’d recommend staying away from benzoyl peroxide at your age. It tends to be really drying/irritating and will enhance any wrinkles because it really dries your skin. I think sometimes people are too vigorous with their washing and end up irritating their skin more than they would if they just did nothing.
Pimply in DC
I have the same issues as you. I had some terrible, terribly cystic acne breakouts and about 6 weeks ago I started using the Paula’s Choice acne line. I also use the Olay Pro-X cleaning system (just the brush, not the Olay face wash). I found that the Paula’s choice acne treatment was a bit strong to use twice a day, since my skin is somewhat sensitive. I also switched to using only mineral makeup on my face, and of course I use a non-comedogenic sunscreen. My pimples cleared up and I haven’t had a single cystic pimple since I started using Paula’s Choice, although I still get the odd whitehead.
Here’s my current daily routine:
Morning: Wash with Paula’s Choice CLEAR cleanser and Olay Pro-X brush, use Paula’s Choice Skin Balancing Toner, spot treat any pimples with Paula’s Choice Extra Strength Acne Fighting Treatment, apply Neutrogena Ultra-Sheer sunscreen. I use Clinique Superbalanced Mineral Powder makeup on my face.
Afternoon: Remove makeup with makeup remover towelette before working out.
Evening: Wash with Paula’s Choice CLEAR cleanser and Olay Pro-X brush, use CLEAR Extra Strength Toner, put Paula’s Choice Skin Balancing Moisture Gel on any dry patches, spot treat pimples with Paula’s Choice Extra Strength Acne Treatment.
Occasionally I use a clay masque, which seems to really help draw out impurities in my skin; my current one is by Kiehl’s.
I noticed that a few posters suggested dietary changes – it’s true that acne can be caused by dietary triggers, but the triggers are different for everyone. If you think your acne might be food related, it’s probably best to try elimination diets under the supervision of a dermatologist or allergist.
Anyway all this is anecdotal, but it has really made a huge difference for me. Paula’s Choice guarantees their products so there’s little risk in trying it.
Pimply in DC
By the way, why do you mention you don’t use hair products? I can’t see the connection, so I’m intrigued.
Because sometimes hair products can clog pores near peoples’ hairlines.
When I had bangs, some hair products on my bangs would cause my forehead to break out. She might have the same problem that I did (and why I don’t have bangs anymore).
My $6 cure for everything- unfiltered Apple Cider Vinegar. I use Braggs but I think any kind will work as long as it’s unfiltered- you can see brown particles floating in it. I use it as a toner. The vinegar kills the bacteria that cause acne. Safe and natural.
Interesting – I will try this!
Good! I hope it works for you.
Thanks for all of the responses. Keep them coming!
I have the clarisonic and really like it, although obviously it is not a cure in and of itself.
I’m surprised no one here has tried more aggressive solutions like laser, etc. Creams/washes/prescriptions, etc. always seem to help moderately for a while and then stop working and they really only seem to help “manage” acne but never get me to my goal of not needing to wear foundation/concealer to cover up red spots.
Unfortunately, there may not be a “cure” for your acne and the best you may be able to do is manage it. I had hoped by the time I reached 30, I wouldn’t have to deal with adult acne, but unfortunately, it’s just not true. With my skin type, I can manage it so that I no longer have whiteheads or huge breakouts, but the bump comes around once a month like a faithful follower.
Spironolact I’ve been taking it for about 6 months it took a couple to get the dosage right but I have not had a breakout in 4 mos. I don’t think you should use if you are trying to get pg/nursing.
For After You are Done Nursing
The only thing that ever worked for me was Accutane. I had to do two courses of medication (20 weeks each, six months apart — to make sure the first one hadn’t solved the problem). You cannot take this while you are nursing or pregnant or trying to conceive. (Aside: I did this shortly after a difficult divorce and used to snort with the irony of having to go to the MD’s office each month for a blood test to prove I wasn’t pregnant. You couldn’t have paid me to touch a boy that year, so the test was really not necessary :) .)
I mention it only because if you still have the issue when you’re done nursing, I think this is the best approach. My skin was absolutely luminous after and with very few exceptions (hiking in 90+ degree weather and humidity in third world conditions for many days in a row), I have rarely had a breakout in the years since.
Some tips in case anyone is considering Accutane:
* Don’t do it when you will have any exposure to the sun. You become hyper-sensitive. Try to do it starting in October so you’ll be done before Spring. Wear TONS of sunscreen.
* Your skin will be VERY dry while you are on it. I went through a tube of lip balm a week and had to start washing my usually (and now again) very oily must-be-washed-daily hair only every other day.
* Your skin will peel very easily. NO WAXING on your face for the duration. Beware of papercuts.
Accutane is a MIRACLE DRUG. Only thing that worked for me too (though I think I need a second round soon).
M in CA
Agreed on the Accutane. I know it’s controversial but I also think it’s a miracle drug. I had 2 rounds in my early twenties that were absolutely necessary, plus a third round of “preventative” in the summer I took the bar and my brother got married.
In addition to the tips above, you will also need to carry eye drops because your eyes might get dry. This is extra necessary if you wear contact lenses. Also stay away from facials at salons and harsh cleansers — I used Cetaphil only while I was on Accutane, and since have incorporated a very (very) gentle scrub into my daily washing routine. Also, absolutely do NOT get pregnant or nurse while on this drug. I’m pretty sure that when I signed the paperwork for Accutane, it included a statement that I would terminate the pregnancy if I got pregnant, because the side-effects prevented brain development (or something along those lines) in fetuses. As I said, I was in my early twenties and pregnancy was the furthest thing from my mind, but it was still pretty intense to consider that.
There are a lot of side effects, but they are manageable, and it really did change my life. I went from having great skin in high school/college to literally not recognizing myself in the mirror. And on top of all that emotional stuff, the adult acne just really hurt! Today I am so, so grateful for every day I look at my skin, even on days when I just have a “normal” breakout (1 or 2 pimples now and then). Know the risks, but also know that it’s worked for so many people.
I’m on an antibiotic liquid, topical. Safe for pregnancy at least my derm says. Erythromycin. Seems to have helped
Does anyone have any experience with getting rid of cable TV and using a set top box instead? There’s only one cable company that services my neighborhood, and the service has been getting worse and worse over the last year or so and I’m getting tired of paying so much for TV when we don’t watch it all that often.
Has anyone ditched cable completely and switched over to Apple TV or Roku or any other option like that? We only watch 3-4 TV shows regularly. Our big stumbling block is that we do watch the NFL pretty religiously during the season – I’m not sure if there’s a work-around for that.
“Our big stumbling block is that we do watch the NFL pretty religiously during the season – I’m not sure if there’s a work-around for that.”
Unfortunately, there’s no good workaround here. We gave up our Sunday Ticket when we gave up digital cable and so we watch few games now :( but save a lot of money!
E as in oebe
We have a digital antena that gives us great reception for the networks and use gaming consoles to stream netflix. That’s enough for us but we do miss out on some shows we like. I buy some shows on itunes that we watch by attaching a laptop to the tv. I guess it depends on whether the convenience is worth whatever you are paying for cable.
I haven’t ever had cable TV. I just have a regular TV with bunny ears (although I had to get a new TV when it switched to digital). Local NFL games are normally on network TV, not cable. I find that once or twice a season I have to go to bar to watch a game, but I don’t really mind that.
I’ve been considering the Roku. You can get access to MLB games (thru mlb.com subscription), and maybe (?) NFL games through subscription, if you’re looking for something other than broadcast games.
I have a digital antennae, but can only get certain channels because of poor reception in my building. I think its about $20 for a cheap antennae, so you might want to try it out before canceling your cable.
As for the shows, I watch a lot of shows, but all on Netflix, Hulu, and Fancast. If you have a digital tv, you can get a cord to hook up your laptop to the tv and watch them that way.
Are most/all NFL games on broadcast channels? If you get the digital antennae and you manage to get the channels that the games are normally on, then it can be a great solution.
Oops, meant to add that another NFL solution could be finding a bar that you like that plays the games of your team. I live in NYC, but my college football team is from the west coast, so I managed to find a huge alumni group that gets together to watch the games. The group normally gets an entire floor in a bar in midtown to watch the games. It is a great experience watching the game every week with a group of major fans.
This! I’ve gone antenna-only, and my backup plan for games not being broadcast in my market is a local bar. Also, check and see if the game is being broadcast on the radio. Not quite the same experience, but means you won’t miss anything important while you are driving to the bar :)
I have roku and so far so good but we aren’t really into sports.
I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on what to do with a bridesmaid dress. It has been sitting in my closet for the past few months, and I never got to wear it; wedding was called off 48 hours before it was supposed to happen! Should I just leave it so I have a formal dress if the occasion should arise? Shorten it? I would consider donating it, but there are not many people who would fit into my size (think Kate Moss) and I would like to get some use out of it since I paid close to $300!
Donate it to an organization that provides prom dresses to lower income high school girls. Someone will love it!
Hmm, what does Emily Post say about the costs incurred by the bridal party for a wedding that is subsequently called off?
I’d donate it to a charity that does prom dresses for poor teens. I bet there are tons of teenage girls out there that are your size – I was a 00 until age 23 or so.
If you like the color and could shorten it (I would see what a seamstress thinks about how it would look and what it would cost), I would do that. I feel like it would be a fine dress to wear as a wedding guest in the future (and I’m currently on the search for wedding guest dresses, which influences my suggestion).
If you don’t need another dress in that category or it can’t be shortened or you don’t like the color, I would donate it to a prom dress organization.
This dress is lovely and doesn’t look like a typical bridesmaid dress. You should save it for formal occasions.
Although if you didn’t have it altered, maybe it could be returned?
Threadjack: I’m asking a question I already know the answer to, but need to hear it from others, so I can take the kick in the pants and move on with my life.
It is really, really bad juju and also morally reprehensible to go to an interview for a great job when you have already accepted a good job and started work at said good job, right?
I interviewed for a great, dream-type job two months ago, didn’t hear back and didn’t get any response to my inquiries but “sorry, no news, but we’ll keep in touch.” Accepted a new position at a good, but less dreamy job, and started work this week. Dream Job Employer called this morning, apologizing for the delay (they apparently had someone on the hiring committee go out on emergency leave) and asking if I could come in for an interview on Thursday.
This is like when I accepted the invitation to the prom from one boy and then the guy I had a huge crush on asked me two days later. Bad timing sucks. I can’t go to the interview, right?
To tell you the truth, I’d go. I’d also be honest about the job you took in the interim.
Oh, yeah, definitely be honest. I agree.
You already started work? Then go to the interview.
What’s considered a faux pas is to renege on an offer after having accepted it. But people leave new jobs after a short time often. Sometimes things just don’t work out, for whatever reason. I can think offhand of at least three or four people who left my company within two months of starting, and that’s just in the last two years that I’ve worked here.
Business is business and you have to make the decisions that are best for you. It’s unlikely that your employer would hesitate to lay you off shortly after you started, if that was best for them.
First, it’s still just an interview (even if it is a 2nd interview), you don’t know how many (if any) other people they’re talking to, and you don’t know their timeframe. I think this is different from the Prom example… that is one night, and you should honor the first commitment you made. This is your career, and while loyalty to your employer is a good quality, you have to look out for yourself (especially in this economic climate where plenty of people have been laid off through no fault of their own).
I do agree with mamabear that you probably need to mention (at some point) that you started a new job in the interim, but unless you signed a commitment with the new employer to work there for at least a certain period of time, or unless quitting the new employer in the near-ish future would cause terrible damage to your reputation in the particular community/industry that you are in… I think you should go for the interview and see what happens.
You might not get it; they might offer it, but you might decide that a) it’s not as dreamy as you imagined, or b) you actually quite like your current/new job after a little more time in it; or it might turn out to be every bit as wonderful as you hope, and you’ll take it with profuse apologies to the current employer (while doing whatever you can to ease the transition for them, like maybe negotiating a later start date at the new/new place while the current/new job looks for a replacement, etc.), and live happily ever after :-)
Also, just a note — if it happens that the new/new job requires a background check or clearance process (e.g., gov’t jobs), it could still take 4-6-9 months before you could actually get on board, which makes quitting the current/new job seem less sudden.
It doesn’t hurt to do the interview. If they make you an offer, you can decide then based on real info such as salary comparison, benefits, etc. The company you’re with now isn’t going to implode if you move on quickly because of an opportunity that is just too good to pass up (and was in play while you were interviewing with them – it’s not like you went right back out and started looking). Sooner is better than later, actually.
Thanks for the input, y’all :)
I think I am going to go to the interview. Although it’s exhausting to think about negotiating a new offer, accepting it, giving notice at my current job and accepting the blowback, etc., everyone is right in saying that that might not actually happen. I guess I’ll jump off that bridge when I get to it :)
I have just never seen a situation where someone leaves a job after a month to take a new, better job and didn’t realize that actually happens with any frequency? I’ve had employees leave because they had a family emergency or had to move, but never to take a better offer. I am concerned that I will burn bridges, big-time, with my current employer.
You will burn bridges, but people will be annoyed more than furious. It happens. It’s not like you’d be able to use a reference from a job you were only at for a short period, anyway.
It happened in my department last year and surprisingly, there were really no hard feelings. The person had interviewed with the other place before he got an offer from my employer. The other employer had pay/benefits we really couldn’t match and he wasn’t in a position to turn it down. We shared the same supervisor and from what I understand, they still have a very good relationship.