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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Hugo Boss is killing it lately — I want half of the clothes they've got out right now. Love the abstract pattern and the flattering ruching, but also the overall simplicity of this dress: workwear perfection. It was $375 but is now marked to $262 at Nordstrom. BOSS ‘Epulina' Jersey Sheath Dress
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(L-4)
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
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- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
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Leaning In
I posted here in the last couple weeks – I am accepting a counteroffer from my current company (just finished finalizing the details late Friday) and need to turn down a final offer coming from an employer I had gone through a lengthy security process with. Going to call them on my lunch today. I know I am doing nothing wrong, but I still feel badly and am a little nervous. I know this is the best move for a lot of reasons, and several mentors have advised me to do this, which helps.
Wish me luck!
Ellen
Yay! OP (Leaning In), you are doieng the RIGHT thing! We often have regret’s about job’s, whether we are decideing whether to go with one job or another — there will always be a winner and a looser. In your case, you parlayed your other offer into a counter-offer with your existeing employer, and you got something you would NOT have otherwise. That is what choices are ALL about! If you just sat back on your tuchus, your existing employer would NOT have done anything for you. But you decided to stand up, show your attribute’s, and they decided: “yes, this person is worth keepeing, even if we have to pay a littel more then we were thinkeing”. Otherwise we loose her. That is a GOOD thing.
The same work’s in our personal lives. If we do NOT get out of our comfort zone, we could loose something (or someone) we hold dear. So if that mean’s doeing something we might not otherwise do to keep that person, mabye we do that. Now that does NOT mean everything. There ARE LIMITS. FOOEY on letting anything happen! So do NOT interpret what I am saying as sugesting that you do something you are TOTALY against. Just think about it. Is it worth it or not? Do I realy want to do this or not? That is the question we must all answer!
Tomorrow, the manageing partner’s brother invited me to lunch. He said we could go to the Harvard Club if I wanted, but I do NOT want to go to a college place. I was thinkeing of goeing to Quality Meat’s or mabye Morton’s, b/c I could use a nice peace of steak. What would the hive do? I will check back and you can vote for me! Yay!!!!
moss
Congrats! I accepted a counteroffer and have never regretted it. You’ll feel fine once the conversation is behind you.
Ekaterin Nile
Congratulations! I accepted a counteroffer from my current firm several years ago and am now a very happy partner.
DisenchantedinDC
I ordered my first Dagne Dover bag on Friday using my much-larger-than-expected performance bonus – I am banking most of it, but did treat myself. Now I can’t wait for it to arrive!
Sydney Bristow
Nice! I put most of mine to student loans but have a little over $100 left to treat myself. I’m torn between getting wireless headphones so I can watch the show my husband hates while we are home together or the Fitbit Aria scale. I’m a little obsessed with my new Fitbit but a scale seems like an odd thing to treat myself with.
DisenchantedinDC
My old boss has the Aria scale and she loved it!! I love metrics and data so I totally get it. (I don’t have the personality type for that, though – I’d quickly go downhill on weighing myself every day)
I am going to put some towards my loans as well, but I had been trying really hard to get a little cushion under me, so I am much more at peace now that I have that and will redirect my monthly “savings” budget line in to the student loans!
Anonymous
I have the Aria and adore it as well – was actually a Valentine’s gift a few years ago (by BF knows I’m the practical sort). If you love your FitBit, go for it.
Runner 5
If you’re still with a guy who gave you a set of scales for Valentines Day then you’re a far better woman than I am.
Wildkitten
Same.
Anonymous
Considering I asked for it, that makes him a winner in my book.
Wildkitten
I have bluetooth headphones and I prefer the wired option most of the time. It can be a PIA to pair the headphones to the correct device and actually get the noise playing out of the headphones.
meme
Sydney, have you looked at the Withings scale? It gets better reviews on Amazon and its also Fitbit compatible. Just wondering. I’ve been reading reviews and I think I’m going to get the Withings version for my husband for Christmas.
Sydney Bristow
No I hadn’t but I will now. Thanks!
Anonymous
Ooh, report back on the bag! I’ve been considering one for a little while. Which one did you get?
Anonymous
I got the 13″ in the midnight blue/navy color :-)
Serafina
Ooh, I’ve been looking at that! I’ve never had a navy bag though – is it okay to carry a navy bag with a black outfit?
DisenchantedinDC
Ugh, I don’t know. My coworker said the same thing when I asked her if I should do navy or red – at least with red it is intentional, navy you might just look colorblind. But, I went ahead and pulled the trigger!
L in DC
Definitely okay. I wear navy and black together constantly (black suit with navy shell, black pants with navy textured blazer and black shell, navy dress with black blazer, etc.). As long as your outfit is generally polished and intentional, it looks very chic.
Anonymous
I was a little unsure about mine after I got it because I wasn’t used to how it felt on my shoulder, but now I love it! It’s so handy, sometimes I even use it as a walking about town bag instead of a toting my laptop to work bag.
KateMiddletown
I’m slow to change, but I bought the linen color over the summer and I’m still toting it. Off-white after labor day is perfectly fine to me. Will switch it up over break, but it’s so perfect for travel I almost hate to. I really just want a whole wardrobe of Dagnes.
Paging Wen users
Or others who don’t wash their hair every day. Do you still wet your hair every day and then style? Or just wake up and go? Trying really hard to understand how this works considering I can’t imagine my hair ever looking reasonable after a nights’ sleep, and I also work out daily so I’m usually showering twice day. (It’s super fine but I’m not the same person that posted about this the other day.) You at least need to wet it to reset the style, right?
lsw
It depends how it looks when I wake up. I have wavy hair and I don’t straighten or curl it. I spritz it with some water and fluff the roots, or I spray it with a dry shampoo or texturizing product to get the wave and body back. I have showered without washing my hair (but still rinsing it) and that can work too. I don’t usually put any or at least not much more product in it then. I don’t shower every day as I have super dry skin, so I don’t wet mine every day.
DisenchantedinDC
I just brush it and tie it back. I have thin, fine hair. I also work out vigorously most days – if my hair gets gross enough I wash it, but otherwise I take it down to let the roots dry, dry shampoo, then ponytail/bun/Gibson tuck.
Anonymous
Same, except I have thick, fine hair.
CPA Lady
I shower/wash hair every other day. I have naturally curly hair, but blow-dry it most of the way and then let it air dry so it’s a little bit wavy. The second day I don’t re-wet it, I just brush it and if there are any pieces that look crazy, I straight iron them. When my hair was longer, I only washed my hair every 3 days because I could put it up the day before washing it.
I don’t think this would work if I worked out.
Sydney Bristow
I just brush it and pull it into a low ponytail or clip. If I wet it, it will get all frizzy-ish again.
I don’t use Wen products though. Isn’t there a big suit against that company because the shampoo was causing hair loss?
I use Number 4 Hydrate shampoo and conditioner and wash about once a week. I built up to that point. I gave a sample set to my sister who has similar hair to me and she loves it and immediately was able to shift to every other or every third day washing.
lsw
There is. FWIW, I used Wen for years with no adverse affects, and have many friends who did/do also. Not saying there is no value to the suit, but I was pretty surprised when I heard about it as Wen was kind of a lifesaver when I went through an extremely dry hair time.
Sydney Bristow
Oh that’s good to know. I hadn’t heard of the brand before seeing the news of the suit.
(Former) Clueless Summer
For me, the point of not washing my hair every day is to cut down on the time I spend on it. Blowdrying hair is such a time suck. I tie it up when showering so it doesn’t get wet (of course, it gets a little damp around my face) and then brush out and assess. Sometimes I flat iron or curl some or all of it, and sometimes it looks fine (either with second day curls or with straightened hair). But I have the type of hair you can’t wash and go – it has to be heat styled either straight or curled.
Mpls
+1. I don’t wet it unless I’m washing it. There’s too much of it (fine hair, but a lot of it) to deal with if it gets wet. I usually leave it down on Day 2, maybe up it a bun Day 3. Day 4 might have a wash or another bun.
Maddie Ross
+1. The whole point of not washing is to avoid blowing dry. Otherwise, may as well wash. I do use dry shampoo – not always on day 2, but definitely on day 3/4. The second morning I brush out, put in a bun in the shower with a thick headband around my face, and then use hot rollers. My second day hair is actually my best hair. Day 3/4, it’s the same, or a bun if things aren’t going well.
CountC
Same. I have a bunch of shower caps for this purpose!
Runner 5
+1. I can wash and go but it always looks messy!
I’d appreciate wisdom from the Hive on working out without having to wash my hair – I’m getting to the point where I’d like to increase my weekly workout schedule beyond the frequency with which I wash my hair.
Maddie Ross
I can do it, but it depends on the intensity of the workout and how clean my hair is going into it. I have fine hair, but a ton of it. If I work out the day after I wash, I can usually manage another day out of it. I don’t pull back tightly (use a fabric hair tie like an Emi-Jay as opposed to an elastic hair tie) and as soon as I finish, I take my hair down and blow dry the roots only. Then a little dry shampoo. If I am doing a really hard work out (like sopping with sweat) or if I went in to the workout with greasy hair already, there’s really no saving it.
Anonymous
For those that use dry shampoo– what brand? I’ve tried the cheap stuff (tresemme, maybe? from the travel section) and it left white flakes on my dark hair. Yech.
Anonymous
Tigi Rockaholic Dirty Little Secret. It’s on sale at Ulta right now. I’ve tried I swear every kind and this is my favorite.
ANP
I just starting using Batiste because I got it on sale at TJ Maxx, and I like it! I have dark, thick hair and it brushes out fairly easily.
Maddie Ross
Tresemme is, IMO, the worst of the worst. Suave is actually preferable to Tresemme which made me sticky and gross. Batiste isn’t bad. Psst… is my fave. Second Tigi Rockaholic too. I got mine at Target though.
Anonypotamus
Psst is my favorite too. It doesn’t leave any white residue on my dark hair, and is fairly fragrantless.
Traditionalist
Also love Pssst and hate Tresemme
DisenchantedinDC
The Tigi is $10 at Ulta right now – my coworker had a 20% prestige reward so she got me 4 bottles. You can totally buy it at Target.
Anonymous
I’m currently hooked on Living Proof (Sephora and Ulta, maybe some others). It leaves a little bit of a whitish grey cast when you first spray it, but that goes away once you comb it through.
JJ
I big purple puffy heart love Living Proof. It completely brushes out of my dark brown hair and doesn’t leave a “residue” feeling like some do.
Meow
I haven’t tried the Living Proof dry shampoo, but for what it’s worth, I thought their shampoos and conditioners really did make my hair feel cleaner longer. For a fine, limp hair girl, it meant day 2 hair was actually possible if it wasn’t a special occasion.
AttiredAttorney
Tresseme dry shampoo felt goopy to me, but as far as cheap (under $5 bottle) brands go, I love the Suave “professionals” line – either the regular with the silver/yellow bottle or the keratin version that’s purple/silver. When I find them at Target, I stock up! I have thick, blond hair and the color blends well.
lucy stone
Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging from Sephora. Got a sample a while ago and loved it. I dry shampoo at night on Day 1 and will put in a little more in the morning if it didn’t’ sop up all the grease.
Runner 5
Batiste is pretty good but I love Colab even more.
S in Chicago
Drugstore I like Suave. Splurge I like Drybar.
Anonymous
Wow, I must be the only person who wets mine in the morning to style it when I don’t wash. I wash maybe 3 times a week, and try to do it when it coincides with sweaty workouts. The other mornings I spritz it with water from a spray bottle, so it’s damp, but not nearly as wet as when I wash it. I have straight shorter hair (it’s been a chin length bob or shorter for a long time) and without getting it wet, I just can’t coax it back into a presentable shape. But since it’s not very wet, blow drying/styling time is still greatly reduced.
Meara
I wet my hair almost every day, when I shower. Usually add conditioner too, but only shampoo every 3-4 days or so, depending on how much I’ve been working out. My hair gets smushed at night, so it’s easier just to wet it in the shower than try to spritz and scrunch and hope.
Snickety
I use sulfate-free shampoo every 3 or 4 days. On other days I condition only. My hair is fine and wavy, about chin length. It’s too short to pull back and only looks good if I blow dry. I don’t skip shampooing to save time, obviously – it keeps my hair shinier and more manageable. Also my color lasts longer.
KinCA
On the days I don’t wash my hair (days 2 and 3), I wake up, restyle, and go; I don’t rewet my hair unless a certain section is really creased or laying funky. On day 3, I use a little dry shampoo on my roots (Klorane is my everything!), but other than that, I just restyle and head out the door. It saves so much time and I think my hair is much healthier.
DC Anon
On the days I don’t wash my hair (days 2, 3, and 4), I get in the shower but don’t get my hair wet. The ambient moisture from the shower is enough to settle any funny cowlicks that have developed in the back of my hair from sleeping. I muss my hair with the towel when I’m drying off and then finger comb it back into place. I have short, very fine, straight hair, so YMMV.
Eliza
I tie it up while I’m in the shower and then hit it with the blowdryer for a few minutes to straighten out any unruly pieces and direct my bangs the way I want. Yes, I’m using the dryer but it’s 3-4 minutes vs. the usual 15+.
Elliptical?
Does anyone here own an elliptical machine that they love? I am considering purchasing one but want to make sure that I pick one that is runs well and will last a long time.
Ting Tings
I bought a Nordictrac Autostrider 990 several years ago (maybe 7 or 8) and I’ve been very happy with it. It’s a back-up workout for me for when it rains so I don’t use it I huge amount but it has held up very well. Bought it from Sears initially because they had a great warranty – Ellipticals are notorious for breaking down, even the better models, so I really wanted to make sure I had a warranty. I think I had the service guy out once in the beginning to fix a clanking sound from the wheel but otherwise it hasn’t needed anything (thankfully, because it’s well past warranty now).
Stormtrooper
I bought a Horizon probably 10 years ago. I was very happy with it and it didn’t start really wearing until about a year ago, when the resistance starting getting funky. The model I bought had the wheels stacked differently so the entire elliptical took up less space than other models, and the stride was a bit shorter than other models, perfect for my short legs.
Randi
I can’t off the top of my head think of the brand. But check sears for their clearance models. I was able to get a steal on a decent brand.
Anonymous
Ditto! I have a Sole E35 I got from the Sears Outlet. I love it, and got a great deal!
Ekaterin Nile
I have a Sole E55 that I bought over six years ago and love. I recently had the flywheel replaced, but it was still under warranty so they sent me one for free and it cost less than a $150 to get it installed.
paging biglaw receptionist
I just want to say that I was appalled by the response you received from AnonymousAttorney. It’s incredibly easy to be rude behind a monitor, but that was just unnecessarily hateful. I’ve been reading this blog and interacting with this community for almost 5 years and most commenters are not like that person, so please don’t let them run you off.
Anonymous
Just read AnonymousAttorney’s vitriolic response, and it’s true.
Biglaw receptionist, thanks for being a great person and taking your job seriously. I’m not a lawyer, but I deal with law firms often in my job, and having a friendly, knowledgeable receptionist/assistant makes all the difference.
Chipped
Thank you, I was just coming on here to say the same thing. I’ve always enjoyed the variety of experience and perspectives women on this board have and how we generally support each other, etc. I’ve been reading for over 5 years and haven’t seen such a mean response to such an innocent post about liking the advice, clothing picks, etc. Being an attorney doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Professional and other support staff at big law in big cities are legit careers. And yes, this board absolutely helps you learn more about big law. So much wrong with the response I am sorry if my comment is kind of jumbled I am just mad.
Wildkitten
I’ve got to assume that person was a troll, the response was so bizarrely out of line.
JJ
Yes, I hope it was just a parody of the stereotypical biglaw associate. I hope, at least.
lsw
I agree, it seemed totally bizarre. I echo the others to say that I’m glad you’re reading – and I’m not an attorney either!
Godzilla
I was hoping she meant that a receptionist didn’t *have* to dress the way “overachieving chicks” are *supposed* to but eh, that was not nice.
biglaw receptionist
Thank you. I really appreciate the kind words from you and everyone else in both threads :)
Basically Rash
Wow. I just read that response and . . . wow. First of all, this site may be aimed at wealthy women who work in conservative fields such as law and finance, but to say that only those women can be here is awful. There are plenty of women here who are on a budget, or who work outside those fields, or in “lower” positions (I work in tech recruitment, although my colleague used to be a lawyer and often treats me like a paralegal). It’s a fashion blog that focuses mostly on professional clothing, that’s it. And the discussions are for all sorts of women’s issues, both personal and professional. We should be supporting each other here, not tearing people down.
BigLaw Anon
I am a partner in BigLaw (former nursing home maintenance call taker and grocery store clerk and waitress). I would not tolerate any of my associates treating staff or anyone else like that. I wouldn’t want that person working for my clients or interacting with them in any way. I’d put you on my team and keep that person off of it. We need good workers, not toxic workers, of all sorts.
Annie
I don’t know, but that exchange felt off to me. My first thought was that the same troll was posing as both the receptionist and the associate.
Anonymous
+1,000,000 The “associate” responded immediately (13 minutes later) to the “receptionist”…on a Sunday afternoon. Totally think it was the same person.
cringe
Don’t people have more going on in their lives than to create a fake troll exchange on a blog? Geeze.
Anon
Do people really do stuff like that? How bizarre…
Girls as juniors
I don’t follow sports, but noticed that not only did NBA player Imam Shumpert deliver his daughter, but he named her Jr. after him. I am usually a person who thinks that everyone should have their own name, but I think that this is so totally awesome.
Anon Bee
I think I may have IBS. Or my digestion is getting more sensitive than ever. I spent the weekend having severe bloat, which has never happened to me before. The two culprits, beer and roasted asparagus (two separate occasions) have never caused that severe of a reaction before. Although, to be honest, beer has really started bothering me lately. I think I’m going to eat very blandly for the next day or two and go easy on my GI tract. My family has several cases of Chron’s/IBS diagnoses in the family, so this is nothing new in the Bee household, unfortunately. Any advice, thoughts or commiseration?
Anonymous
This is icky, but my BF gets (what I think of as) IBSy when he eats Buffalo wings. And yet each football day (which is a lot of the week this time of year), he eats wings. I think he’s fatty-sauce intolerant. The bathroom carnage is a bit concerning — is that just a guy thing? A wing thing? Or some sort of IBS thing?
Godzilla
Fat is very difficult to digest. Also, my coworkers have assured that me that once you reach your 40s, eating spicy food becomes more challenging. So for your dude, it’s probably the combination of fat + heat.
Anonymous
The sulphur smell . . . that is just normal? It smells like something should be horribly wrong (the smell and the explosions and the being banned from the upstairs). (I was thinking gall bladder issues — that fat intolerance?)
Anonymous
Sometimes poop smells? If he isn’t concerned I don’t see any reason for you armchair diagnosing him.
Anonymous
Not normal smells. Like burn your nose hairs off smells. The smells and the explosions suggest to me that something is wrong (will reevaluate in light of anecdata about being > 40 and related general digestive issues). Only in the presence of chicken wings (and similar items) though.
Godzilla
Dude, you have a family history. Go get your gut checked out by a GI doc. You can try a FODMAP diet on your own to see what triggers you have but don’t suffer! I don’t get why people persist in suffering when they know they can make changes to improve their quality of life. FOOEY ON EXCUSES
Anon Bee
Thanks, you’re right. The sad thing is that I know which doctors to go see. I was hoping that I’d dodged this bullet, but likely not.
Anonymous
I have IBS and second the Low FODMAP diet- it changed my life for the better. I no longer worry about where the nearest bathroom is at all times.
What can you eat?
My doctor recommended I try low FODMAP a while ago but when I looked at the list it seemed like everything I eat is on there (particularly the healthier foods I enjoy). I get overwhelmed by diets with such long lists of things you can’t eat. Has anyone seen a list of foods that are specifically low FODMAP? I feel like focusing on things I could eat would be less overwhelming, but I haven’t found any.
LMGTFY
https://stanfordhealthcare.org/content/dam/SHC/for-patients-component/programs-services/clinical-nutrition-services/docs/pdf-lowfodmapdiet.pdf
Midwest Mama
I agree that it can’t hurt to get checked out. I did that twice this summer after suffering digestive issues pretty much all year. But my dr found nothing wrong after examination, blood work, etc. so her answer was just keep a food diary and try to find patterns that cause my symptoms and otherwise just live with it. ::shrug::
Blonde Lawyer
See the doc before doing elimination diets. They might want to test you for celiac and you have to still be consuming gluten for that test to be accurate. (Though I believe there is also a genetic test).
N.C. anon
Given your family history, IBS seems like a possibility. However when my anxiety is heightened, I tend to have acid reflux, which pairs badly with beer (especially hoppy ones).
KP
This is me/my family. Of course go see a doctor but in the meantime, the best advice I can give is keep a food journal and track exactly what you ate, when you experience symptoms and what the symptoms are. The best way your doctor can help you is if you can show up and say when I eat X I experience Y about Z hours later. If you can’t notice a theme (and you might not), your doctor may refer you to a dietitian who will ask you to do a food journal anyway. IBS is really tough to determine what sets you off (and it could be different things on different days, stress, etc). I know someone who can’t eat onion or garlic as they cause her symptoms (but she is ok with 99% of other foods). Your bland diet plan sounds like a good idea for now, go easy on gluten, dairy, beans and soy and see how you feel.
Lactose intolerance
Lactose intolerance is the most common cause of digestion issues in adults, it’s also very under diagnosed. Our bodies naturally slow down the production of the lactase enzyme as we age.
I know you mentioned beer and asparagus, but dairy can be in everything! It’s possible you ate something before the beer and asparagus that is actually causing the problem. Lactose intolerance can present with delayed symptoms (ie- getting sick several hours after eating). It can cause bloating, constipation, nausea, hot flashes, diarrhea, and sometimes vomiting.
I would keep a food diary and also track when you get sick. Beware of hidden dairy in baked goods, sauces, and prepared veggies.
In the meantime you could try taking probiotics everyday. They help a lot of people.
Good luck!
Basically Rash
My digestion’s been pretty bad these days as well. Lot of gas and bloating, and I’ve been meaning to invest in some probiotic caps and maybe some charco-caps or something as well. Honestly, if it’s gotten bad in just these last couple of weeks, it could be stress related. Wait until the holidays are over, and if these issues persist into the middle of January, see a doctor.
Anonymous
Beer? I would get tested for celiac disease. Many of the symptoms overlap with IBS.
This dress
Actually, I’m not crazy about this dress. I assume that the model is model-shaped, but in this dress she seems to be very thick in the middle (like an apple and a pear). I cannot imagine that it would look better on me. Even if it looked the same on me, that’s not a look I’m going for.
Anon
The dress really does give her a tragic apple shape. Not cute at all, I’d avoid this dress like the plague.
Cat
I know – I thought this was a maternity option when it first loaded. I’d have to try on to see for myself whether the ruching actually works better on a more “average pear” type figure than it does on the more rectangle-torso’d model.
Lawgirl
I thought this dress was fugly x1000. I kept re-reading it, to make sure that this wasn’t an editing mistake or something. If this had a JC Penny tag on it, I doubt Kat would love it. Sorry, just being real. #Koolaide
Godzilla
TRAGIC APPLE SHAPE. FULL STOP.
Nice body-shaming thread ladies. Real nice.
Anonymous
If the model had had a certain shape, that would be fine. But to make a shape where a shape isn’t, that is on the dress and why I don’t like it. It’s like it has given her a ruching baby.
Wait, what?
So it’s fine if someone is naturally apple shaped, but TRAGIC if they are some other shape and end up looking like an apple shaped person? That’s an interesting dissonance.
Because isn’t the point of a lot of (women’s) clothes to make the wearer look like a different shape than they are, presumably whatever the societal ideal of the time is? Push-up bra for an hourglass figure, corset for tiny waist, spanx for smoothness, farthingales for exaggerated hips, bustles for exaggerated butts.
cbackson
Agreed. I find this shapeless and unappealing.
Anon
Eh, it’s a bad photo. The dress is a jersey knit with a tweed print. It will fit just like any other knit dress you own. And if it doesn’t you take the waist in.
My objection is the tweed print. I would love to have a tweed dress like this made of actual, you know, tweed. But that’s not Hugo Boss level, that’s Chanel.
Snickety
+1. Tweed print reads as cheap to me and this isn’t an inexpensive dress.
Bonnie
It’s not that easy to take in a ruched dress. If there is too much material, rushing adds bulk instead of being flattering.
Anona
When I was very thin (sample size), dresses like this looked bad on me because I didn’t have any roundness to fill them out so the fabric would hang and fill in places on me that didn’t exist. I wonder if that’s what is happening with the model – it would probably look better on someone with a curvier body.
CKB
I agree. I’m not sample size thin, but I do have a pretty flat tummy and I avoid ruching because it usually adds bulk to areas that don’t need it.
EB0220
I’m sure this is answered somewhere, but I can’t find it right now. Managers – do you give your employees gifts? I was thinking Starbucks gift cards (we have two Starbucks on campus). If so, how much?
Cat
This is soooooo KYO. For example, in my old Biglaw office, partners did not give associates gifts (maybe we’d all go out for drinks as a team one day over the holidays), but both partners and associates gave secretaries money, with the amount varying by seniority. Do you have a peer or two to ask?
Anon
My supervisors (both immediate and head boss) give me a holiday gift (for reference, I’m an in-house attorney), and I give my secretary a gift. My current work arrangement is more of a traditional office. When I worked at a law firm, I did not receive any gifts from the partners.
Labellion
I manage a handful of supervisors and give them Amazon gcs. I also give small gifts to each of their direct reports along with a handwritten card, like key chains, stress balls notebooks etc.
AttiredAttorney
I gift down to my six direct reports at the end of the year. We do not have a bonus structure, so our employer does not do anything official to recognize a successful year, so the only thing they get is whatever I purchase. I usually do gift cards in the $50ish range, but purchased at a bulk store retailer (Sam’s, Costco, etc) where you can get two $50 gift cards for $80, so the out of pocket cost is only $40/employee for me. I throw a small holiday party for the whole team that includes the direct reports of my direct reports (40ish people total), so I don’t do gifts for anyone else.
X
This is nice. We don’t get bonuses either.
And my bonehead boss (IT, of course) has no idea of proper etiquette. I’m already preparing myself for tomorrow’s team meeting where he’ll describe in great detail the nice lunch his boss took him and the other managers, too. He has no idea that he’s supposed to turn around and take us out to lunch. And, if he’s not going to do that, he should definitely not tell us about the lovely lunch he attended…
Grrr!!
X
Oops, to not “too”
Potluck
Anyone have any favorite potluck side dishes? I eat a lot of vegan/ethnic food so generic office potlucks always leave me stumped. Just looking for something that is a crowd pleaser (ok with cooking with meat/dairy for this). TIA!
anon
No specific suggestions, but don’t be afraid to bring something vegan! Lots of people who do not identify themselves as vegetarians or vegans enjoy or even prefer vegetarian food, and potlucks are always heavy on the meat.
Senior Attorney
+1
Maybe a fabulous rice dish?
AttiredAttorney
Yes! I’m always grateful when someone brings a healthful, veggie filled side dish to a potluck. An Israeli salad would be great, and I’ve also been obsessed with Smitten Kitchen’s Date, Feta and Red Cabbage Salad lately. Either would be a great side dish to the typical office potluck.
Amelia Bedelia
THIS! I am not vegetarian/vegan, but I don’t really like meat. It just isn’t my thing. I love when people bring vegetarian options.
Anona
I don’t know if this is something other people like, but I always enjoy it when there’s some type of grain salad – like a wheat berry salad or something similar.
Meg Murry
I’m not vegetarian or vegan, but this has been a popular potluck dish for me, even in offices that are mainly meat eaters:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/dave-lieberman/curried-couscous-salad-with-dried-sweet-cranberries-recipe.html
I’ve also made it with quiona before, and I often take shortcuts with it (dried herbs instead of fresh, on concentrate instead of fresh squeezed, left out the nuts because I forgot them) and it was still good.
I think a couscous or quinoa salad of any kind would be an excellent vegetarian or vegan addition to a potluck.
Hollis
I love making 7 layer dip for potlucks because it looks good, it doesn’t need to be warm, and it’s vegetarian. Get a can of refried beans and mix it with a packet (or less) of taco powder. Add sour cream (or a sour cream mixed with cream cheese) for another layer, add smashed avocado (optional), add some chunky salsa, and top it with pre-shredded cheese, a small can of sliced olives, chopped green onions, and a couple of chopped tomatoes. You don’t even need all of these ingredients – I’ve made it with a subset of them and it tasted great. A bag of the “Scoops” style tortilla chips and you’re golden.
Anonymous
I’m just going to add one vote for not mixing in the taco seasoning – they generally have wheat (weird, right?!) which means that while the dish will still be vegetarian, it would no longer be celiac/gluten intolerance friendly. Not saying you have to cater to every issue out there in a potluck, but it’s nice when you can do so without making a major change to a dish. I tend to mix salsa into beans in my layer dip, or chili powder that’s not in a taco seasoning mix.
KateMiddletown
My longtime SO and I just got engaged on Friday night. It was adorable. But I’m at work now. My closest work friend knows, as she’s been in the loop the whole time. What about the rest of my workplace. Boss? Assistants? How do I tell them? I feel like the longer I sit here and don’t say anything the more awkward the convo gets. HELP!
KP
I waited until someone noticed my ring and asked (took about 2 days). I am not one to make a big deal of things so I just said yes, thanks we’re excited and moved on. Word then spread very quickly.
KP
PS- CONGRATS!
Diana Barry
Congrats!
FWIW I didn’t tell anyone – I got engaged a few weeks before Thanksgiving and then we picked out the ring and then I actually got the ring on Thanksgiving. So when I got back to the office I just waited for someone to notice it and then told them, and then of course everyone knew within like an hour. :)
banana
Congratulations! For work, I’d wait until it comes up organically. (“How was your weekend?” “Great, SO and I got engaged!”) Bonus points if you can engineer this interaction with the office gossip who will spread the word for you. I’d stay away from a big announcement (via email or something). Naturally, this is one of the biggest events of your life. For your co-workers, however, it’s not that big a deal.
Cat
Agree with all of this – let word of mouth do the talking, then you’ll have people stopping by to say congrats!
2 Cents
+1 to that. I told my closest work friend, and then waited for other people to notice my ring and/or ask how my weekend was. (FWIW, I also avoided talking about wedding planning like the plague. I’d listened to several other coworkers detail every.single.decision ad nauseum and wanted to avoid being “that girl having the wedding” as much as possible.)
And congratulations! Enjoy this time!
Anonymous
IDK that you announce at work (we did, (and brought in bagels) but we actally work together). I think people notice something sparkly (or not) and you talk if they bring it up. And with your BFF work friends, you go tell them first thing.
Anonymous
“Good morning assistant Sarah, how was your weekend?”
“It was fine, yours”
“It was fabulous I got engaged!”
Done.
Senior Attorney
This! And congratulations!!
Sydney Bristow
Congratulations!
I agree to mention it if someone asks how your weekend was.
KateMiddletown
Thanks! Telling this group made it easier to sit on the news until it came up :)
underthings
I need a whole new set of underwear. What do you wear/what would you recommend?
Hollis
If you care about pantylines, I recommend the vanishing line hipsters from Soma. I also have some microfiber ones from Calvin Klein but they ride up more than the Soma ones, which I prefer.
TravelAnon
What price point? Cheap, but I love, love, love American Eagle’s Aerie line for bottoms, and they do sales twice a year where you can get like 10 pairs for $30. Natori “Feathers’ bras are also super flattering.
lucy stone
Hanky Panky boyshorts. They have changed my life.
underthings
People are all over Hanky Panky. What’s so great about them?
Scarlett
Big fan here – they keep their shape, come in tons of shapes (boyshort, thong, etc.) & are made out of a really comfortable fabric. I replaced all my underthings w/ this line and have never been more comfortable.
Aurora
I can’t speak to anything other shapes but the thongs are the only actually comfortable thongs I’ve ever worn. They’re really cute, they hold up well (so many lace things I used to buy just disintegrated and got those gross strings of elastic after a while), they bunch up tiny so they are easy to pack, they come in a wide variety of colors, and I can usually snag some on sale.
Bonnie
They don’t stretch out yet do not squeeze or pinch. I’ve tried the VS version and there is no comparison in longevity and comfort.
Runner 5
I’m obsessed with Gap ‘shorts’ fit underwear.
Anonymous
Love Natori. I also like the Soma vanishing line — get the low rise kind.
Aurora
I was a vanishing edge junkie (Soma) for years, but recently the sticky part that keeps them from riding up starting giving me serious butt acne, boo, so I just re-vamped my entire undies collection. I switched to a mix of Maidenform’s Boy Shorts (I got both dream cotton and microfiber) and Warner’s Women’s No Pinching No Problems Boyshorts (all bought on Amazon) and I am so in love with both of them – no lines, no riding up, and super cute. Plus a few Hanky Panky thongs for days when lines really matter.
Eliza
Maidenform boyshorts in the Dream Cotton/lace waistband are my new favorites! They’re comfortable, don’t ride up or cut in and they look great. They’re also very reasonable; I think I bought mine off the Hanes webs!te at 6/$36. The rest of my lingerie drawer is filled with Hanky Panky. They’re much more expensive but worth every cent.
VS blech
I have a whole slew of VS cotton lace trim thongs and hipsters, which are the only ones I ever buy (last time it was 7/$27 or something). Most were free with the ever-present coupon. Sadly, I probably need to upgrade, too. 2nd the question about what is so great about Hanky Panky?
Anon for this
I think we have bed bugs, and I’m freaking out. I have bites that match all the descriptions of bed bug bites, and don’t look like flea bites, scabies, etc. We searched the bed clothes and mattress and didn’t find any evidence of bugs, but I feel totally freaked out continuing to sleep in our bed and get bitten until we find “evidence”. I feel like my bites are evidence enough. We live in a rented apartment, so I think I need to contact our landlord to hire an exterminator service of some kind. DH thinks we can handle it ourselves by washing clothes and replacing the mattress.
Please give me any advice you have!
Anonymous
Call your landlord immediately before they spread to other apartments.
trash it all
Also you absolutely cannot handle bedbugs yourself. You have to throw everything away. The Ohio river valley is a hotbed and our bed might be particularly resistant, but this is serious.
Anonymous
You do not have to throw everything away, you DO have to have it professionally treated IMMEDIATELY. Please do not wait.
Anonymous
Agree, and there’s a good chance your lease requires it.
Anona
If you wash your clothes and replace the mattress, you’re just going to end up with a new mattress contaminated with bedbugs.
Anonymous
You do not have to throw everything away. We had them (picked them up in a hotel). It was a pain in the you know what, and was fairly expensive, but all of our furniture, luggage and clothing was salvaged and we have had no bites in six months (knock on wood). Unless you see bugs crawling all over a bed or couch its unlikely you’ll have to toss your furniture if you act quickly.
I do agree you cannot handle them yourself – call an exterminator ASAP.
Anon at 10:40
PS. You don’t have to toss your mattress – exterminators can put on a protective casing that bed bugs can’t penetrate and any trapped in there will eventually die without food.
I did a ton of research about various treatments so I have a lot more info if you want it. We did a heat treatment + some chemical application, but far less chemicals were used than in a conventional treatment. Heat treatment has to be done by an exterminator who knows how to do it (not all do) and it’s considerably more expensive than just a pesticide spray, but it is a lot less prep work (no washing or bagging, everything that was potentially infested is simply placed in the room(s) receiving the heat treatment), easier to salvage luggage and furniture (which may have to be tossed or at least bagged up for a year with normal treatments) and less chemical exposure to people and pets. Ultimately we decided it was worth it to our family to spend the extra money for heat treatment, and we don’t regret it at all. We also obtained reimbursement from the hotel where we got the bed bugs but my understanding is that that is pretty rare and we were very lucky.
Bottom line : bed bugs are something to take seriously and not ignore or think you can treat yourself, but there’s no need to panic. We had been living in our home for about two weeks after we first started getting bites and I panicked that they had gone all over our house and we were going to have to throw out living room couches, etc. But they’re attracted to chemicals people emit when sleeping and tend to stay in areas where people are sleeping. The exterminator assured me we only needed to treat our bedroom and he was right.
OP
Thank you for this.
JLAC762
I work for a very large pest control company and this advice s exactly what I was coming to write. It’s terribly upsetting, but bed bugs are treatable. There are various treatment options, heat/thermal is really the most effective and unfortunately most expensive. It is also the lease disruptive as far as prepping for treatment. Call a reputable pest control company (there are news stories of treatments going terribly wrong), if you are in the NYC area email me I could recommend a few. I also would have a full home inspection (canine is more reliable than human).
But, as upsetting as this is, do not change rooms. They are attracted to your body heat and if you move to another bedroom or couch they will follow you. You should also put your clothing and bedding in the dryer on High for 30 minutes or more. As with a thermal treatment you want to raise the temperature to 140 degrees to kill them off.
OP
I’ve already contacted my landlord who is trying to retain a pest control company, but is getting the answer that nothing can be done until after the holidays. Argh! I’m not sure what I can do in the meantime, except treating my apartment as a quarantine zone and not allowing anyone to come over. I am very concerned about them spreading to other apartments (although we think they may have originated in another apartment in any case, as we’ve not stayed at a hotel or had house guests recently), which is why I wanted to deal with this as soon as I saw bites this morning.
MK
I had bedbugs in a rental apartment two years ago. Hang in there – you will get through this. My landlord brought in a company who treated with a chemical treatment. Through my own experience and what I read online at the time, you will need more than one chemical treatment to kill all of the bedbugs. I threw out way more than i needed to – at the time i was living in a studio apartment and so my bed and couch were in the same room. I threw out both. I was able to keep all clothes, but washed and dried everything to make sure they were bed bug free.
A few tips:
Search for Bed Bug ClimbUp Interceptors on Amazon. These things will help you verify if you have bed bugs and also help to provide peace of mind once treatment is complete.
While you are waiting for the exterminator, use Diatomaceous Earth to treat for bed bugs. If i’m remembering correctly, this is a natural pesticide that will kill any bed bugs that come in contact with it. I believe there is a food grade DE that you can buy in case you have any pets that may come in contact with it.
Buy some of those huge ziplock bags. Any clothes that are washed and dried should be put and sealed in a ziplock bag to protect them from bed bugs and to ensure that you are wearing bed bug free clothes when you leave the house.
are you sure?
Does your husband also have bites? We recently had a scare when I woke up with a bunch of bites and husband didn’t have a mark on him. My bites were super itchy welts that at first I thought were mosquitos. We found a few carpet beetles under the bed that I could have reacted to, but nothing on the bed and no bedbugs calling cards.
Washed everything in the bedroom and cleaned really well (including scrubbing hardwood floors and cleaning the rug). No further issues. So we diagnosed it as either carpet beetles (apparently some people are allergic to their hairs) or something that a dog brought in from outside.
underthings
Some people just don’t react to bedbug bites, though. We had bedbugs a few years ago, and I didn’t have any bites on me but my husband had huge ones. I read that’s not all that uncommon.
Anonymous
+1 to this. I had a scare and was prepared to burn my house down. The “bites” looked just like what I saw online as typical bed bug bites, but we had no evidence of bedbugs upon examining our bed. I finally went to a doctor who diagnosed the “bites” as poison ivy. I hadn’t been outside with exposed skin in over a week, so I’m still not certain the diagnosis was correct. But in any event, my “bites” went away within a few days after being treated as poison ivy.
Anon at 10:40
Just FYI – the fact that only one person has bites does not mean it is not bed bugs. We had a confirmed infestation and my husband had no bites. Our exterminator told me its extremely common for only one person to react to them, since something like 50% of people don’t have a reaction to bed bug bites. I never knew that until our experience. If you have the classic line of bites (“breakfast, lunch and dinner”) it’s absolutely necessary to call an exterminator.
OP, I think not having guests over is probably overly cautious but not a bad step to take to make sure none of your family get the bugs. I certainly wouldn’t have overnight guests. But you definitely don’t need to worry about the bugs leaving your house on you. Like I said, I didn’t call an exterminator for a couple weeks and it was more than a week after the exterminator came that we had the treatment. In that time, my husband and I both drove our cars and sat in our office chairs. None of those places ever got infested. Bed bugs hide in the walls during the day and only come out when they sense that people are asleep. Unless you have visible bugs (they’re not microscopic, you can see them with your eye) crawling all over your house, you’re not going to transport them places.
OP
Nope, I’m not sure. The only evidence we have of bed bugs is the bites on myself (DH does not have any welts, but he doesn’t react to mosquitos bites, black fly bites, etc. so I’m not surprised), but I’m uncomfortable just waiting until more evidence shows up, especially given that we live in an apartment building, and the bed bugs may travel to other units if not treated.
JLAC762
Honestly, even with the holdiay, I find this hard to believe. (Not that I dont believe you, but your landlord). Bed bugs are a big business, there should be a company available to at least inspect.
anon
+1. See if you can find someone to come out immediately and tell your landlord. This is NOT something that you want to linger for the next two weeks. (Never dealt with bedbugs myself but kids headlice 2x and it was hell.)
OP
Although possible, I have no reason to believe that my landlord would lie, he has responded to all other repairs/problems extremely quickly. In my jurisdiction, the landlord ought to be responsible for paying the pest control company, so I want the landlord to retain them so the waters don’t get muddy around who’s responsible for that cost.
Calico
Heat treatment is absolutely the way to go. It is quite common to need to another round of heat after the first for the problem to be fully resolved. Most importantly, do not start sleeping in a different room or on the living room couch. They will follow you wherever you go. Wipe your shoes with alcohol when leaving your place to avoid hitchhikers. If you are really concerned you could also heat your clothes in a dryer on hot for an hour and put them on right before you leave the house. That will help prevent spreading them. If you are in an apartment without laundry then I feel your pain. I have had to do this twice for my mother in her apartment and it’s exhausting both physically and mentally. It sounds like your infestation is small and recent, which is a great sign! Good luck to you!
anon a mouse
Have you slept anywhere else in the last 7-10 days? Sometimes it can take a while for bites to show up. Also if you traveled at all, you could have brought back a bite or a single bug that will not make for an infestation.
But, assuming the worst, I have to echo the rest of the hive. Take it seriously and treat ASAP, but don’t panic and you’ll be able to get through it.
HadBB
I went through a bed bug treatment after coming back from my honeymoon. For 1-2 months before, I was travelling almost every week for work/bachelorette party/wedding etc and must have slept in 7-8 hotels in that time frame. These were all expensive 4-5 star hotels in major cities, Vegas, Hawaii etc so you never know where they can hide. Pest control came out for inspection after both me and my new hubby (who just moved into my condo after marriage) had new bites all over our feet, arms or whatever skin is exposed while sleeping. (Scary start to married life!) They said we were still in initial stages of infestation, about 4-6 weeks only, he could tell by looking at size of 1-2 dead bugs (and no eggs) when he lifted the mattress but I couldn’t see them myself. They told us to bag all our clothes in garbage bags and tie them up. Then we had to wash and dry them at high temperature to make sure no bugs are left. After two rounds of treatment was done, we could bring our clean clothes back in the closet. Anything that cannot be washed (e.g shoes, bags, luggage) should be wiped with rubbing alcohol. Those few weeks were a nightmare, the entire living room was full of garbage bags, I was running the washer/dryer non-stop, many of my clothes/sweaters ended up shrinking in the dryer, but I almost didn’t care at that point. My wedding dress is tied up in 3-4 layers of garbage bag, packed into a big suitcase and kept in the garage, hopefully the bed bugs (if any) die out in a few years ! I also took out basic set of clothes (work. casual, workout, PJs) needed for 2-3 weeks, washed and kept them in large zip lock bags, used those while we were in middle of treatment. We were also told to throw away any cardboard boxes so bed bugs cannot hide there. This was almost six months ago, and luckily we haven’t had any problems since then. It is a lot of work during the treatment but I think it works well sooner you address the issue. Good Luck !
Anon for This
I am 5’1 and generally pretty small but over the last year or so, I’ve gained a bunch of weight, mostly around my tummy and my upper thighs. Unfortunately, this has caused some people to ask about my (non-existent) pregnancy. I’m trying to lose weight and I know these people are jerks but any advice on how to dress to hide the belly? I’ve been trying to do it but apparently unsuccessfully.
Anonymous
Anyone asking you if you are pregnant is a jerk and rude so don’t worry about it.
Spanx can help, so can adjusting your to play to your strengths. Maybe more shells and less tuck in shirts for example.
Wildkitten
What kind of shells that you don’t have to tuck in do you like? (That’s my unicorn).
DisenchantedinDC
My favorite ones ever were from Eloquii back when it was owned by The Limited. Haven’t checked them out since.
Anonymous
Peplum has been my go to for a while.
The Limited has some pieces (all silk) that I have liked.
2 Cents
If your shape has changed, it’s time to re-evaluate what silhouettes and pieces work on you. At least for the moment (in case you’re thinking “but I’m going to lose the weight!” You can, but you need to be comfortable and confident NOW). Take your most honest friend shopping with you and try on everything. Especially the styles you’ve shied away from before. Once you know what kind of looks work on you (maybe you need v-necks or surplice tops or blouse-and-skirt instead of a sheath dress), you can find pieces that work for you on sale or even in thrift shops.
Aurora
I’m your height and have also gotten thicker in the same areas as you as I’ve aged. For me what works is straight leg or skinny leg pants, heels, a drapey blouse and a blazer, or a tailored dress (either sheath or A-line) and a blazer. It’s sometimes frustrating to wear a blazer every day but it really helps give you some shape back. You can opt for sweater blazers or jersey blazers if you want a more relaxed feel. I also think neckline helps – I almost always do V-necks to draw attention upward.
PS – I’ll be soft-launching my fashion blog at the end of the month so if we’re similar sizes you should check it out!
Suburban
Blazer plus scarf is my recipe for this. Also second anything untucked. Chin up and screw the haters.
Anonymous
I used to wear a lot of scarves when I was at an awkward weight and couldn’t afford new stuff. I don’t recommend this look if you’re in a profession with a set “look”. It really was not acceptable when I was a lawyer even at a casual office. Know your office.
Post pregnancy I bought three low price suits. I have since the bought three higher price point suite to replace them and had them taken in as I lose weight. Be very careful about not looking dowdy, matronly or unprofessional.
On a small frame small mistakes look so much worse.
Suburban
Hmmm- I never considered a scarf unacceptable. In fact, Ill often wear one to court. I feel like it finishes a suit and adds a chance for color like a tie might on a man. am I missing something?
LilyB
help please… I thought I was done with my Christmas shopping, but I still need to get gifts for my cousin’s kids– 10 year old girl, 7 year old boy. They are traveling here for the holiday so I don’t want to make their parents carry back a ton of heavy stuff. Usually I get them books. The girl especially loves reading, but they are avid library goers so sometimes it feels a little silly to buy her a bunch of books.
Ideas? I just don’t know what’s cool anymore! Budget is ~$30 each. TIA!
Anonymous
Just go buy them each a book? Not a bunch of books, one book each.
tesyaa
B&N gift cards – even at that age, my kids loved going into B&N and buying stuff with those cards.
2 Cents
+1 As a kid, I loved gift cards because it meant I could buy something I’d wanted but never told anyone. Or something in July, when it was nowhere near my fall birthday.
Anona
I was an avid library goer and books were my favorite gifts. If you love books, you cannot have too many.
Mpls
+1. And it’s always a bonus when someone introduces you to an author you haven’t read with an extensive backlist.
OP, maybe try for a favorite from when you were a kid – old enough title that the kid may not have read it, but a personal connection that might mean something.
Two of my favorites from that age (I think, it kind of blurs together for me): A Secret Garden and A Wrinkle in Time.
Another anonymous judge
I was also an avid library goer as a child, a necessity in our family for financial reasons, but there are many books I wished I actually owned so I could have read them whenever I wanted to. I second the book/book-gift-card suggestion. If they are readers they will love it.
Anon100
Agree with giving a BN giftcard, but consider adding on a small gift like a bookmark or bookplate stickers to make the present just a bit more personalized for each child.
lsw
For the reader, what about a agazine subscription – and maybe buy her the current issue of the mag? Something from the Cricket family? My 9yo stepdaughter reads Ask and National Geographic for Kids voraciously.
moss
Cricket is a great idea. or Stone Soup.
Anonymous
I gave my book worm niece a list of books that I liked when I was her age. She really really really loved it. That and a gift card would be really great. Even if you’re a library goer, there are always going to be books that you want to have.
Hollis
How about books you can’t get from the library? Like activity books (Beautiful Doodles is good for 7 year old, Puzzlemania by Highlights for the 5 year old). That, plus maybe a board game they can share (Catan Junior or Blokus) would be fun. But at your price point, if you aren’t wedded to books, I would consider getting them each a lego set – there are tons of them and all kids like them and they are readily available on-line or at your local retailers. They can take home the legos in a ziplock and toss the box. The other easy to gift item (that makes life easier for the parents) is a DVD – Inside Out and Minions both just came out so they probably don’t have those.
Runner 5
I’d give them each a single book and a gift card for another $20 at Barnes and Noble.
anon
Someone last week recommended Hippity Hops (or whatever they’re called) for an 8 and a 12 year old, and I just bought one for a 5 year old for ~$15 on Amazon Prime.
anon
Bonus because they’re inflatable and uninflatable, if they choose to use them before they go home. Make sure you get one that comes with a little pump, if you don’t have something that will do the job.
Anon
Don’t know where you are but if you have a Costco, they have a 15 set of Roald Dahl books we just got for our nephews to share. I think the whole set was under $30.
Anonymous
How frequently do you wash your duvet/pillows? Not the covers, I wash those weekly.
And how often do you buy new duvet/pillows? I think I’m probably due for a new set. Any amazing brand suggestions?
anon
how do you wash pillows? I didn’t know you were supposed to/could.
Anonymous
Yup this is also me.
tesyaa
You can wash them in a washing machine and dry them in a dryer. I wouldn’t do it with an expensive pillow, but a cheaper (Target, Costco etc) pillow is fine and low risk to wash.
tesyaa
Adding, I rarely wash them because pillowcases.
Anonymous
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/how-to-wash-your-pillows-105944
Anon
I wash my down duvet maybe once a year. Replacing it? Never! Why would you replace a good quality down comforter? My grandmother had down duvets for 40 years and only got rid of them when they got musty when they retired to Florida. We still have a down duvet my great-grandmother made!
FWIW, my duvet is Royal Velvet. Got it on Overstock nearly a decade ago.
And pillows, yeah, I don’t wash them. I did it once and they didn’t come out right. Truly, I’m on the Great Pillow Quest, so I never have a pillow long enough to need to wash it. (WHY are they all so thick?! Do pillow manufacturers think I’m built like a linebacker? I just want one of the normal thickness pillows of my youth!)
Anon
Maybe once a year? The covers get washed weekly.
Sydney Bristow
I love my Temperpedic Symphony pillow. I’ve had it about 6 months and it is just as supportive yet soft as the day I bought it. My husband says I snore less with it too.
Anonymous
I’ve never washed my pillows. I wash the duvet about two or three times a year. I change the duvet covers seasonally (and rarely wash the covers in between) and when doing that change, I’ll sometimes notice spots where my dog’s compulsive paw licking soaked through the cover and left a saliva ring on the duvet, so that triggers a wash. Otherwise, I just put the new cover on and keep living life.
Runner 5
Changing the cover seasonally – you must be a top sheet person?
I don’t think I’ve ever washed my duvet or pillows. I don’t have a dryer so I couldn’t wash them and get them back on the bed that day. All covers are changed and washed fortnightly.
Anonymous
Oh wow, I had no idea that people don’t use the top sheet! I live in a pretty warm climate and sleep in a queen alone so most of the time the duvet is tossed to the other half of the bed because it’s too hot for anything but the flat sheet. The duvet is really just for looks–and when I say I change it seasonally, I mean I swap out for a different pattern. Since we don’t have “seasons” here, I like to change out the colors of the duvet and add seasonal decor to give myself a false sense of time passing. It sounds a little weird, but it’s helped adjust from post-grad to working where the months all blur together.
ANP
Can we talk cars? Husband and I are looking to replace his 10-year-old Honda Accord next year and are wide open to suggestions. I currently drive a minivan that will hopefully last for many more miles. Here’s our criteria for the new set of wheels:
– Must fit 3 carseats for the foreseeable future
– Must have good safety ratings
– AWD preferred — we live somewhere with pretty rough winters
– Decent-to-good gas mileage — we both commute less than 10 miles to work, but obviously the cheaper to operate the car, the better
We have 3 kids and a dog, but if we’re taking the entire family somewhere (including our 4-legged child) we usually end up in the minivan. Still, we need a vehicle that can accommodate all 3 car seats, either across or in a 3rd row.
Any recommendations for us? So far we’re sort of circling around the Honda Pilot and Toyota Highlander, but I’m open to other ideas. I would also prefer to buy used/certified pre-owned over brand new. Thanks gang!
Anonymous
I am surprised by the number of Buick Enclaves that I see in the parking lot at school. Those moms are all cool / hip people I like (not grandparents) who have the $ to get what they want.
I have an Odyssey and love it.
Anon for this
I have an Acadia, which is the GMC version. I’ve been very happy with it. We have the captains seats in the middle at a full back seat – which is actually useable by normal sized people. I’ve never really looked seriously at the Pilots, but I thought the Acadia felt bigger inside than the Highlander, which is why we went with it. It’s an SUV, but it gets better gas mileage than a “true” SUV like a jeep or a truck.
Diana Barry
Do you really need more than one car for the kid car? We only have one car that fits all 3 car seats – it is an MDX. I would look on car-seat dot org for information – those people are really knowledgeable about which cars can fit 3 across. FWIW we have all Diono/Sunshine Kids Radian car seats – they are the narrowest kind IIRC.
Anon
Check out a gently used Volvo XC70 wagon. I love mine. I had my first Volvo wagon for 14 years and only recently traded up because I wanted a more luxurious interior. AWD and safe as all get-out.
AIMS
Honda CR-V? A few friends/family have that one and love it. Two separate families just buy them over and over every few years which I assume is the mark of a happy driver.
I’ve also heard nice things about Subarus, esp. for winter.
KateMiddletown
IDK if this would work well for 3 across. I have a 2015 CRV. I think it depends on the carseats, but we did two tweens and a Britax Marathon in the middle this weekend, and it looked tight with two humans 1 seat. The Marathon is supposedly on the narrower end, too, so I’d check the measurements carefully.
Bonnie
We love our CR-V but it definitely would not fit 3 car seats.
SSJD
We bought a used Mazda 5 as our second car because it has room for our 4 car seats (two in the second row, two in the third row). The trunk is small, but can hold a few things. It would not be ideal for a long outing or a trip with luggage, but like you we have a minivan for those purposes. Not sure how it does in terms of your other criteria.
cm
I have a Subaru Forester which only fits 2 car seats. But we borrowed a Subaru Legacy (sedan) once which weirdly was able to fit 3 car seats.
Anonymous
3 full car seats? Or 3 car seat-like contraptions? (Eg boosters/5 point boosters + 1 forward facing and one infant carrier)
We have an MDX and it could fit 3 car seats across.ours is a 2010 but I think newer models are even wider. This would more likely be a minivan replacement vs a sedan replacement.
pilates princess
I bought a Subaru Legacy last year. I meets the last three items on your list, for sure.
The back seat is generous enough to fit three across, depending on the car seats you have. I could easily fit 3-across Radians and or 2 Radians and KeyFit. I haven’t yet tried to install my Radian rear facing, but I’ve heard that might be a challenge. Those Clek seats are as narrow as Radians I believe, but they are outrageously expensive.
I could talk about car seats all day, but that probably best for another forum car-seat[dot]org is always helpful.
Best of luck.
Anon
We have a Toyota Highlander and we love it! Though with the third row up there is very little space in the back for cargo. We have made it work even for long trips though.
Greensleeves
Have you looked at the Mazda CX-9? We are very happy with ours. Room for 3 kids. We can put all 3 kids in the middle row, but we generally don’t because there’s less bickering if they have more space! However, we have 2 in boosters, no more carseats, so I don’t know if that would be possible with carseats. Handles well in snow and ice. Good balance between handling and ride. We also looked at the Highlander, Arcada, Enclave, and Pilot. It came down to the Pilot and the CX-9 and my husband (the primary driver for this car) preferred the CX-9. It does not have a lot of cargo space when all 3 rows of seats are in use, although we get around that a bit by folding half of the 3rd row down. Definitely significantly less cargo space than the Odysseys we had before, but as much as we loved those vans, we were ready to move on from the minivan stage!
Baconpancakes
No spoilers here, but had to share this great line from the New Yorker review of The Force Awakens:
“…I salute your courage in going to see “The Force Awakens.”…paying to watch a new “Star Wars” movie, in the wake of its predecessors—“The Phantom Menace,” “Attack of the Clones,” and “Revenge of the Sith”—is like returning to a restaurant that gave you severe food poisoning on your last three visits.”
Wildkitten
But, it’s good right? I’m not normally a Star Wars person but I thought this one might be worth seeing?
Baconpancakes
It’s good. Not great, but good. Got a lot going for it.
Anonymous
My husband hated it. I think his expectations were too high though because all the reviews were really good.
DisenchantedinDC
Hostess gift ideas? I am going to a Christmas Eve party hosted by a close friend’s parents – I also went last year, but it is apparently much smaller this year. My best friend from the opposite coast will be in town and they have invited her as well.
They’ve very graciously invited me for several holidays, and I almost always take a specialty cupcake or intricate baked good. I did fall-colored mini cheesecakes with gingersnap crusts for Thanksgiving, but cupcakes are my thing, and for a birthday brunch, I made butter pecan cupcakes with an actual stack of miniature pancakes on top and a little pat of yellow taffy “butter” (I almost wish I was joking, but I love doing this kind of stuff as well as having a hobby where I get to make physical things with my hands.) Just a busy week to fit that in, plus I feel like I should offer something more substantial since my friend will be there too.
I don’t really want to take wine because they always have a ton of that, but really I don’t know them that well – I am closer with their son, who lives in my suburb. Interesting ideas? Suck it up and take wine?
AIMS
I like taking nice champagne for this sort of thing so they can enjoy on New Year’s.
Or you could continue the food tradition and buy some nice baked goods for breakfast the next day.
Bewitched
I just brought a specialty olive oil to a holiday party-they can cost as much as a good bottle of wine, and everyone who cooks needs olive oil! Another idea might be a really nice jar of vanilla plus one of your recipes (which sound impressive!) which uses vanilla. I occasionally do a nice candle such as the Thymes Frasier Fir but I think tha’s sort of boring too.
Diana Barry
How do they react to the baked goods? Would it be easier to make and decorate one cake? Like maybe the Gramercy Tavern gingerbread bundt cake with some fancy caramel sauce to bring with it?
DisenchantedinDC
They were well-received, though I don’t know that anybody would insult food somebody brings to a party to somebody’s face? I hear about them occasionally through the grapevine so I assume they like them.
I also do custom orders that people pay me for, so I think they rank above-average on the “cupcakes at a party” scale?
I thought about just doing a basic cookie recipe – I’m liking the idea of the cookies + recipe + vanilla!
moss
Ginger sandwich cookies? They’re a little fancy and not too hard. Get a molasses spice cookie recipe, and make a lemon buttercream to use as filling. When I make these people fall all over themselves like I’ve flown the space shuttle.
Anon
That cracked me up. Also, I’m doing this. I made soft ginger cookies yesteday that are perfect for sandwiches.
moss
Haha! :) Enjoy being the cookie-making equivalent of a rocket scientist!
Anonymous
Has anyone washed a Burberry quilted coat themselves? It says dry clean only, but I’ve yet to find a dry cleaner who returns my items actually looking and smelling clean and the same size in which I brought them. I now wash all of my suits/dresses/silk in the gentle cycle with either Laundress or sport wash, but I’m a little nervous about doing the coat. It’s got enough of a “worn” smell + secondhand smoke from a party though that I think it needs something to freshen it up, plus a mystery residue spot that a water wipe can’t get out. Think this is fine to do?
Anonymous
1. see if rubbing alcohol doesn’t get out the mystery stain
2. liberal dose of febreze (or spritz with vodka) + dryer gets out a lot of the stink
HnH
Try an at-home dry cleaning kit like dryel or woolite? I had great results with the bagless woolite sheet last week for a peacoat.
Little Red
Are you talking about those quilted jackets that are worn with the sleeve cuff turned to show off the plaid lining? If so, you can wash them safely in the washing machine. I did in the gentle cycle with cold water. It came out just fine even though the directions said “Dry Clean Only”.
Anonymous
Thanks! Yes, that’s the one (though I never flip the cuff out).
And d’oh at not thinking of Dryel, I’ve got an old kit of that collecting dust on the laundry shelf.
Randi
Introverts / those that need time alone to recharge…..how many nights a week can you handle being out (i.e classes, church, therapy) on a regular basis without falling apart? Single/not dating/no kids.
I’m trying to figure out how much I can handle at once next year and just was curious about how others handled this.
Diana Barry
Good question! I have a spouse and 3 kids and I can handle nights out maybe twice a week not counting any date nights. More than that and I get stabby. One of those nights is my standing activity (singing) so it is not super-social.
However, if I had to go to 4 networking events in a month that would be awful, so it also depends on the kind of activity.
anonymous
For me it depends on the activity that I’m doing and what kind of social interaction it entails. Going out to things that are just socializing (like a party, networking event, etc) I generally don’t want to do more than 1, but can probably handle 2. Classes are easier for me unless they’re really interactive, and one on one conversations I can do a lot of if it’s someone I like very much and know well. In general I can do one on one better/more often than other types of interaction, so like a therapy type thing I could probably do several times a week.
I try to allow myself downtime between events. If they’re the same evening, having to come home to change for example is great because it allows me a few minutes of quiet before I need to be “on” again.
Wildkitten
My introvert needs to restrict both number of times and out and also amount of time per night. For example, he can go to this one hour event I like, but he can’t also stay for the after-event without taking a break in between to recharge.
KateMiddletown
How did you and introvert come to that determination? I’m curious if it was trial and error for them or if you had to prompt a discussion. Also, if there are more obligations that don’t have built in breaks, what kinds of things does your intro do to recharge?
Wildkitten
I’m a huge E so we had to deal with our different needs a lot – through conversation and through trial and error. Sometimes he will go home in the middle of things and take a break (like if we go to a party in the neighborhood) or he’ll go to a coffee shop while I go to the second half of a two hour social event. It’s definitely something we’re still working on how to navigate.
Anonymous
It depends on the activity. If it’s a fitness class, I can do 2-3 per week, because (a) there’s not actually that much social interaction if you don’t get there too early and (b) if I’d stayed home, I would’ve been exercising so it’s not a major disruption of my routine. But just dinners, shows, drinks, etc.? Max 1 during the week, and I prefer to keep it to the weekend only. It takes me several hours to wind down after I get home to be able to sleep, and since I can’t start an activity before 7 due to work, it’s unlikely I’d be home from it early enough to be able to wind down by my normal bedtime of 10pm. It just throws me off too much during the week.
DisenchantedinDC
Apparently, less than I did last week. I ended up doing the “Irish exit” from a party around 8:30 on Saturday and went home and got in bed and did not come out until 10 am the next day.
I’d say 2 nights a week I go to the gym and see friends, maybe get dinner after. 2 nights I go right home. 1-2 nights are social outings.
JJ
Great question. I prefer at most two nights a week out (after work). Any more than that and I start to get anxious and tired. I also get up super early in the mornings to work out, so that cuts into my will to go out too late after work anyway.
It also depends on the event. If it’s dinner with friends, I’m happy doing two times a week. If it’s networking or work events, I (very begrudgingly) go out twice.
Anonymous
Networking events or events where I have to mingle and make small talk with people I don’t know? A single one drains me completely. If you’re talking social gatherings with friends, especially a one-on-one friend date or a small group where I know everyone well? I really enjoy those and could easily enjoy two or three nights out like that in a week, but not for week after week. I think one night out a week would be the max that would be sustainable for me to repeat week after week, even if it was something I really looked forward to.
Anonymous
I’m a busy introvert, so I actually have to think how many nights *in* I need in order to keep sane. I’m a swing dancer who usually has multiple nights of class per week (usually 2-3), plus at least one social dance either during the work week or weekend, AND I’m dating a non-dancer and I try to find time for at least one date night per week. Honestly, I’m lucky if I can get one night to myself, ideally I should have two or three.
Sydney Bristow
Honestly I can only do 1 night a week of it involves socializing. I wouldn’t include therapy in my count and classes would depend on how interactive they are. I haven’t been to church in ages, but at least when I went as a kid it was absolutely a social activity and that would likely be my 1 thing for the week.
HnH
Typically just 2: dinner on Fridays and volunteering work on Sat mornings. Sometimes I can muster up more energy to go to a 3rd event, like a wedding, if it means I get to see friends I hadn’t seen in a while and actually care to see. But anything that involves strangers/just acquaintances sap all the energy out of me, esp if they come up last minute and I haven’t had time to mentally accept them:
Friend: dinner as usual?
Me: sure
Friend: the bf is coming along, btw!
Me: grrrr
Anonymous
I can comfortably socialize 2-3 nights a week. Anything over 4 starts getting overwhelming.
I’m not sure that answers your question about classes, etc., though. I hated taking night classes, but I always thought of it as more of a scheduling issue than an introvert issue. I’m very much a creature of habit. If my daily homework time is 5-8, that’s when homework is going to get done. Scheduling a class in the middle of “homework time” means homework isn’t getting done, regardless of how many hours of free time I otherwise have throughout the day.
Aurora
I really try to keep it to 1-2 nights a week. I’m an extremely outgoing introvert, so when I do spend time with people I spend a LOT of energy on them, but the payoff for that is that I need to spend the rest of my evening alone with a book or TV recharging. Sometimes I can do 3 nights a week if I space them out (i.e. something on Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday), but typically if I do that I end up feeling frazzled the next week. Often I’ll try to make at least one night an at-home night (e.g. board game night or dinner party at my place) to at least keep things somewhat lower-key, or plan for a recovery weekend where we don’t do anything after a social week.
Yes, this means I’m not involved in a lot of group activities. But my husband and I have a great and very tight-knit group of friends and are well-liked because, on the occasions when we do entertain, we do it well, and I’m perfectly happy with the arrangement.
Senior Attorney
You guys! I got my new car!! As I mentioned on last week’s thread, one of my best friends sells Audis so that was my first stop. Even though several people here mentioned they weren’t impressed with the power of the A3, I drove it and found it to be nicely zippy (turbo, quattro). She got me a screamin’ deal and I am very pleased with the whole thing! Plus it was great to not only buy a car from a woman, but from a friend! Yay!! Christmas came early this year!!
JJ
Congrats! If you can afford it and it makes you happy, treat yo’self!
moss
Does the Audi A3 have adaptive cruise control and the thingy where it keeps you in the lane? I have heard the A4 has that and I’m really interested in that.
I was going to tell you to check out Lincoln but since you’ve pulled the trigger I won’t. :) Enjoy your car!
Senior Attorney
Yes, they have it in the Prestige package, which is the fanciest one. I didn’t get that one — I got the Premium Plus.
moss
thanks! :)
Snickety
Congrats and Merry Christmas!
Diana Barry
Congrats! I have an A3 also and love it. :)