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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 240 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Open Blazer with Cropped Back

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Sportmax Code Open Blazer with Cropped Back | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I wasn't familiar with Sportmax Code until LookLive brought it to my attention, but it's apparently a diffusion line from Max Mara. I love the look of this blazer with a slightly curved hem, so it's a bit cropped in the back — it's an interesting take on peplum, and a more fluid look to my eyes than some of the blazers with big notches in the back. I like. This one is $475 at ASOS. Sportmax Code Open Blazer with Cropped Back A couple of lower-priced versions are here and here, and two plus-size alternatives are here and here. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-6)

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Comments

  2. gift idea

    One of my dear girlfriends was just diagnosed with a curable cancer (according to her oncologist), and is getting ready to undergo chemo and radiation starting at the end of the month. Another of our GFs is throwing a big party, and we’re all getting ready to be poised to provide meals/transport to meds, etc when she needs it. I would like to get her something small-ish to send her into her treatment in a good way. Any ideas? She is an RN, and is going to continue to work as long as she can.

    • LondonLeisureYear

      I got cancer at age 17, so a lot of the gifts we got were helpful for my family such as food and support of time (mowing the lawn etc. ) But the best morale gift for me going through cancer treatment was a gift that I could open one little piece everyday until I was done with the treatment. In my case it was a large Noah’s ark which is totally random that a family friend got in Ghana and had wrapped every single animal pair up separately. Everyday in the evening before bed I would open a package. It was something little to look forward, I would often try to guess what the animal would be but it also served as a great visual reminder – look at how many days I have made it through and how few days I have left! It served like a cancer advent calendar.

      My mom has done this with other friends by making a ball with little things wrapped with those crepe party streamers to make a huge surprise ball. People unwrap it a bit every day to reveal a surprise until the ball is done (ie treatment is done).

      • Anon

        This is really cool. I like your take on it – not “another animal”, but “which animal will it be?”

        • LondonLeisureYear

          Well especially since the animals were carved in Africa a lot of them were ones I was not typically used to seeing. The ark included many different antelopes and lizards and different birds things that.

          In my case with my sickness I was in bed January – July, before I could start making little trips around. I had a really bad reaction to medications which triggered rapid eye movement that caused my eyes to move on their own, so I couldn’t read really or watch TV. So lots of audio books, and lots of being bored so even little things like unwrapping an animal helped the days move faster.

    • Anon

      A super soft, luxurious wrap/shawl. Hospitals are cold and comfort is key (at the hospital and at home).

    • buffybot

      This is a bit “know-your-audience” but I came across these amazing “grown-up” coloring books by Johanna Basford that have incredibly intricate black and white illustrations. I gave a copy of one of the books and some nice coloring pencils to a family member going through chemo, as well as a friend recovering from major surgery. It’s a soothing activity that can be done without too much concentration and could be a nice break from an electronic screen if your friend will have a lot of downtime at chemo treatment or in waiting rooms.

      • C

        I am so happy to find about these and plan to get one for myself. What a lovely relaxing activity! Thanks for sharing.

      • Anonforthis

        I’ve just started one – Millie Marotta’s Animal Kingdom. It’s absolutely gorgeous and very therapeutic.

      • Anonymous

        Chemo can cause peripheral neuropathy, which would make it difficult for a person to hold a pen, though.

      • Dulcinea

        You can also find cool illustrations online for free for coloring in. Personally, I like manadals so I googled “blank mandalas for coloring in” and found a lot of great ones; the websites I found also had links for “adult coloring animals” and other things.
        Of course for a gift you would want to buy a book, but if anyone is looking to do some soothing coloring themselves the free ones are good.

    • BMBG

      May I also suggest remembering to be there more toward the end of your friend’s treatment? Just saying from experience with family members that friends of the patient are eager at first but that it tapers off, often leaving them without much support toward the end of radiation/chemo. I’m not saying you won’t be — not at all! — just that you remember that others do fall away and that she may need extra help later on. Best of luck to your friend!

      • gift idea

        we were thinking about this too. We thought we would throw in on a trip to send her and her SO, and pitch her a big party this summer for her birthday, after she should have gotten the all-clear.

        Thanks for these ideas, all..

        • Meg Murry

          These big things sound great, but I think what will be even more important to your friend is the smaller things like someone stopping by with dinner or groceries or to help with a load of laundry or washing dishes or taking care of the dog or kids.

          Big grand one time gestures are great – but regular phone calls, emails or other check ins are just as important, if not more so.

          Does her SO have support as well? Sometimes its really hard on that person as well, so be sure to aim some of the pampering and support that way.

    • D

      I’m going through chemo now and I’m surprised how much it’s like being pregnant or a new parent. A little bit of nausea, often not enough energy for a shower, super tired and can’t really concentrate. I’d just remind you that weekends always seem like the time to visit or call, but that’s the time for my two-a-day naps and catching up on stuff if I have enough energy. Early mornings are best, and I loved a gift of a pile of magazines that I don’t usually read (think Entertainment Weekly more than the Economist, though I usually love both).

      • gift idea

        Best wishes for your treatments and thank you SO much for your reply. This is very helpful.

  3. Soc Sec

    I am curious what others think about Social Security. I am in Gen X and have held the firm belief from my 20s on that Social Security would cease to exist by the time I retire.

    Now that I’m getting older, I’m not so sure… maybe because I’ve been paying into it for 20+ years… maybe because I find some of the arguments for its sustainability to be somewhat convincing. (Don’t get me wrong, I still think it needs some serious fixes to keep going.)

    I’m wondering if any other Gen Xers are starting to think it might be there for us. It wouldn’t change my savings plan, but I just recently realized that my attitude was shifting ever-so-slightly.

    Just curious what others think (of any age).

    • Diana Barry

      I have a feeling they’ll put in means testing at some point, but I am not counting on it at all in retirement savings calculations. If we do get it, it will be a nice bonus!

      I am late-gen-X.

      • Anon

        Same. I’m mid 30s, and my retirement calculations assume I will get $0 from Social Security. If we do get it, sweet! But I’m not counting on anything.

      • CHJ

        This is exactly how I feel. I do my retirement savings calculations assuming it won’t be there. In my opinion, it’s just another tax that comes out of my paycheck and I never expect to see any of it again. If we do collect something in 30+ years, that will be nice, but not expected.

      • anon-oh-no

        I think means testing is the right thing to do. I’m also Gen X and not counting on it; but more importantly, unless things drastically change for me for the worse and I actually need it, I have no intention of taking it even if it is available. There are so many people out there who do need it.

        • PolyD

          The problem with means-testing is that any program that becomes means-tested becomes easier to take away entirely, because it becomes something for “those (lesser) people,” rather than something everyone pays into and everyone gets.

          That said, I do think changes can be made into how we pay into it, I know there is a salary level above which SS/Medicare payments stop. So maybe that could be tinkered with.

          • Sarabeth

            This. Absolutely this. Means-testing is the first step to elimination (which is, in turn, the first step to returning huge numbers of elderly Americans to poverty).

            If Social Security isn’t around, that will be a political choice, not the inexorable outcome of accounting. We can well afford to pay for it (via greater taxes, if necessary). I don’t personally plan on it in my retirement calculations, though, because the political choice of screwing over poor people is not exactly unpopular.

          • Anonattorney

            How does means-testing work? Is it based on how much someone has in retirement accounts when they start taking social security, or is it based on what they actually earned while they worked?

            Part of me is all for means-testing, but another part of me thinks it’s problematic if it rewards people who have the means to save for their own retirement, but choose not to.

        • RBG

          I didn’t realize you could pass on it. Is that an irrevocable decision? Or can you pass in your 60s and get to your 90s and realize you may need a little extra help? Just curious.

          • Mpls

            I don’t think it is currently an option. You can take it early (age 62ish?) but it reduces your benefits over the course of your life. I think you can even delay it (to age 67ish?) to increase benefits over the life of payouts, but either way, there isn’t an opt-out all together option, AFAIK.

          • Anonattorney

            I think you can delay taking benefits until whenever. Your benefit will increase for each year you delay up to age 70, and then it is capped at that amount.

    • AnonForThis

      Well I am Gen Y and simple population demographics makes the whole thing dubious. Those in the 50-80 demographic are a giant clog in the system, there simply isn’t enough young to support the old. That in conjunction with the ever decreasing standard of living and wages. I’m just waiting for the day the system topples over.

    • Lyssa

      I don’t think that it’s sustainable, but I generally think that it’s going to be extremely difficult (bordering on impossible) for the gov’t to drop its obligations on it in any meaningful way. There will probably be some age increases by the time that I get to it (young gen-x here), but, barring a true governmental crisis, I do think that it is likely to be there in some propped up way. Not that I’m confident enough to really want to count on it.

      • cbackson

        I have the same perspective. I assume it will be there, but calculate and plan as if it won’t be.

      • ace

        This is about where I am (along with my financial advisor). We assume there will be something, but it’s more an added bonus on top of what I’m personally saving. I think it’s unlikely to disappear entirely, particularly for high earners.

    • 40-something

      I think it will be there, but maybe reduced or means-tested. I have been paying into it since I was in my teens (!!!) and expect to work into my 60s and mainly fend for myself (so: paid off house that will be sold to downsize into a 1-BR apartment with everything on one level).

      I think that the post-crash boom in disability payments under SS will probably wreck it faster than the old-age iceberg (and that is unexpected and may hasten the day of reconing).

      Budget-wise, I expect SS to buy me a few bags of groceries, but not much else by the time I get it.

      • LilyS

        Google suggests ‘early 60s to early 80s’ but in my head it depends a bit more on what else was going on. My mum is 1963, so you might think Gen X – I place her as a baby boomer since she’s the youngest of a relatively large number of siblings, and her parents were born pre-war (plus my dad is older and most of their friends are definitely baby boomers). So for me, early 60s (for oldest children) down to late 80s (for youngest children)

        • Anon

          That’s a good way to frame it. I’m late Gen X/early Gen Y (Millennial?) but I have a younger brother so maybe that tips me away from Gen X.

        • tesyaa

          I get it, but my birth year is 1966 and I’m definitely not a baby boomer, so what am I?

          • Angela

            1966 is what economists consider the youngest boomer birth year. I know this because hubs was born then (I was born 1970) and I tease him with it sometimes. He is not amused lol

    • lucy stone

      I think I’m an old millennial (early 30s) and have no belief it will be there for me. If it is, cool, I’ll travel more!

      • Rogue Banker

        This is pretty much me. Late 20s/millenial generation, not sure if SS will even be a thing forty years from now, planning as if it won’t be. Some of my coworkers are suprised how much I put in my 401k (and yes, in banking we talk about this stuff sometimes) but honestly, I’d rather live a little tight now by choice than be forced to live tight in my 80s.

        • lucy stone

          Yes, I’d much rather be “broke” in my 30s than my 80s. My husband and I are at the point now where lots of our friends are making big life upgrades, and we’re content with our small house that we can afford knowing we’re saving for retirement at a much higher rate than they are.

    • Meg Murry

      I’m right on the official Gen X/Y divide, and I have no faith that it will be there by the time I retire, and I fully expect to be supporting my family members who are counting on it once it runs out for them too. Family members are in their late 50s/early 60s and have a family history of living to mid-90s, with little savings and retirement, an inflated sense of how much their house would be worth to sell, and an unwillingness to downsize from said house anyway.

      Not optimistic about how this is going to play out at all, I fully expect to go from caring for my kids to caring for my aging parents, in-laws and aunts and uncles, either physically, financially or both.

      • Jacket / sweater for Gemma dress?

        Totally agree with people not wanting to sell. The house is an albatross getting in the way of either your dreams (travel! live on the beach! live where I can see the grandchildren!) or your solvency (but I love my house and cannot possibly downsize my 2000 sq ft of stuff accumulated over 40 years).

        My MIL is going to die in a pile of filth and we are going to find her days later b/c the one sibling who lives with here somehow cannot keep an eye on her and the house is a mess (MIL is disabled, adult child has *issues*). But they “can’t” sell the house and move elsewhere (closer to us or at least somewhere on one level and safe/clean/not filled with junk). They just can’t. Too much stuff.

    • baseballfan

      Mid 40s here – I save for retirement as if SS will not exist by the time I retire. I do not see the current system as being sustainable. That being said, I think letting it fail is a political impossibility.

      • This

        Getting rid of the social security system would be such a huge break in the fabric of the american social contract that i can only imagine it going away if america has entered some sort of catastrophic failure of some sort.

        that said, i can imagine there being a means test, increase in the contribution cap, etc. that could significantly impact whether some parts of the population can receive it.

  4. Myrtle beach?

    Anyone taken a vacation to myrtle beach? We are considering going for 5 days in May. It seems affordable and an easy, warm trip from NYC with our infant. Yes? No? Alternate suggestions? Places to stay/ avoid? We are looking at North Beach Plantation apartments (though the word “plantation” gives me pause…). Many thanks in advance.

    • Brit

      My friends and I were down there last summer for 4 days – we stayed in a family friends condo up in North Myrtle, by Cherry Grove Beach (North Beach Plantation looks like it’s right in between North Myrtle and Myrtle – looking at it on Google Maps, I recognize the intersection and basic area it’s in from when we drove to Myrtle). We did go down to Myrtle Beach one day for the Boardwalk which was nice – it’s not a big boardwalk, so we covered it easily in one day and then felt comfortable staying up in North Mrytle for the rest of the time and laying on the beach. But it was very family friendly at both locations – I think there’s a few small carnival type amusement rides near where your apartments are.

    • Anon

      I am looking at the exact same trip at the exact same time (except we would be going with another couple). I’ve never been, but had the exact same thought when I saw that name. Like is this really a good marketing tool that will make people want to come here?

      • Belle

        Using the word “plantation” as part of the name of housing developments, neighborhoods, communities, venues, etc. is extremely common in the south. I could understand why it might cause someone pause, but it often just implies that the property is large and spread out.

        Name aside, a North Carolina beach on the Crystal Coast or Outer Banks is probably better suited for you than Myrtle.

        • Anon

          I always think it’s the equivalent of using “Estates” in other parts of the country.

    • Wordy

      I am not the biggest Myrtle Beach fan… there are many other terrific NC/SC beach options which will be less crowded, less downmarket, and less spring break-y. That said, North Myrtle is nicer than Myrtle.

      I’d suggest looking at beaches around Charleston (Sullivan’s Island, Isle of Palms/Wild Dunes, Kiawah (more expensive, longer drive)). Isle of Palms/Wild Dunes have tons of rentals, good restaurants, and the amenities that make life a little easier when traveling with an infant (grocery stores and Target nearby). Plus big, uncrowded beaches with (usually) tame waves.

      • beach-goer

        +a million. There are way better beaches especially for a family with a young child. Unless you want tourist. If you’re looking for sleep eat sand water, then try some of the far-southern NC beaches like Oak Island, etc. We’ve also heard great things from the SC beaches as Wordy points out.

        • Jacket / sweater for Gemma dress?

          Gaah — North Myrtle Beach is not Myrtle Beach. MB is t-shirt shops and sullen teens. NMB is more of a family place.

          There are other places to to go besides NMB. NMB is easy to get to and fairly developed if you want a more developed beach stay. Families seem to like it. I would go to NMB but am usually part of a big group that goes for a big house about half an hour north. I would never to go MB.

        • Michelle

          depends what you’re looking for – Myrtle Beach is very tourist kitsch, but the beach is nice and there are lots of convenient food options. If you just want a house on the beach and you want to either cook or drive a little bit to get to food rather than walk, we love Pawleys Island as a really relaxing spot that’s all about the beach and family time.

    • Anon

      My family used to vacation there when I was a kid, on Shore Drive – I think that might be the north end? It was nice for kids, since it was pretty quiet and we could run around on our own without getting into trouble. Not sure if things have since changed. It’s a pretty average beach, I don’t think it’s better or worse than any other.

    • Lorelei Gilmore

      Look at Litchfield Beach. Family friendly, very quiet, cute restaurants and fun shopping down towards Pawley’s Island, but because it’s basically a suburb of Myrtle Beach you can take advantage of MB convenience.

    • Anonymous

      I am a native North Carolinian who has spent my entire life spending a week or 2 in Myrtle Beach or the general vicinity. I love it for its kitsch and for the nostalgia of going there since I was a child. I think the suggestion of Litchfield is a very good one (try out Dieter Co. for rentals in the Litchfield resort) and that is where I prefer for quick beach trips these days.

      The Outer Banks are lovely, but not nearly as easy to fly to. As are North Carolina beaches (and you can fly into Wilmington NC), but in my opinion May is a little early for warm water as a general rule on the NC beaches.

      Alternatively, you could fly into Charleston and then go to Wild Dunes or Kiawah as possible options.

      But you need to be careful with Myrtle Beach in May. There are a couple of biker weeks that will be neither relaxing nor family friendly in my experience. Plus you will also likely have a lot of college kids coming down after graduation. Early May should be fine though.

    • Also in Academia

      Edisto Island, SC, is also great. It’s sort of near Charleston. And I second/third/whatever the comments about the word “Plantation.” While the use of it is, to me, tone-deaf, it doesn’t imply anything about the property.

    • anonNC

      The Caribbean Hotel (Dominican Tower) is where we stay with our little ones in Myrtle. One of the outdoor pools and lazy rivers are covered, so easier for to minimize the sun exposure for kiddos. The hotel is at the quiet end of the strip. It’s fairly standard family Myrtle hotel accommodations, and the rooms have a kitchen so you can cut down on costs to eat out. You’ll need to drive in if you want to explore the main strip with the infant, and there really aren’t any decent bars within walking distance, although if you won’t have a babysitter then that’s probably a plus.

  5. Toffee

    Sorry for reposting, but I really appreciate the the insight from all of the brilliant readers of this site and I know some don’t read the weekend threads. Thank you to everyone who responded already. Meg, I’ve answered your questions below.

    Hi, everyone! I have a job offer! I’m excited about it, but I would appreciate your perspective. I currently am in big law patent litigation. I had a terrible review and was told my skills are lacking (well, yeah, when I joined the firm last year, I was new to the practice area, thus the reason I agreed to being paid as a first year despite being a 2011 grad) and I’m unavailable too often (ridiculous, but I have an 18 month old who I occasionally want to see. I did not see her during the week from March until September last year. I worked many weekends, pulled all nighters, etc. But I had to tell them I was unavailable two Friday nights and a Sunday morning.) The senior associate and partner I work with are extremely condescending to everyone, even clients, fellow attorneys, and firm leadership. I did not get a raise or bonus and basically hate working there. My commute is 2+ hours a day (can’t be changed for at least 2 years because of my husband’s job).

    My job offer is not practicing law. It’s with a patent search firm. It’s working from home. It’s a very small firm and the people seem wonderful. Most of them work as 1099 employees but I’ll be a w4 employee. I’ll get 2 weeks paid vacation. No mention of maternity leave and no other benefits. But it’s 40 hours a week, no more and no less.

    The pay is $80k per year starting out, with a raise to $95-100k in a year if I excel. We will have to make lifestyle changes on the $80k salary (our cushion will be $800/month with no extra payments towards student loans*). We have 3 months of bills in savings. We think my husband’s job is very safe, but it’s a company that has been going through major changes. He has always managed to find new jobs within a week of searching, even in 2010, so we aren’t too worried about him. Also, he’ll earn his MBA in December, which should open up significant opportunities for him if I’m able to step in more at home and allow him to step up more at work.

    Thoughts?

    *More info: I checked our budget and more conservatively estimated some expenses, so our cushion has changed from what I said this weekend. We plan to attempt to sell the house and move to a less expensive area, which should free up $1,000ish on mortgage expenses. Also, we could move DD to a less expensive daycare, which could save as much as $400.

    The toddler is in daycare and will stay there. If we have another, the baby will be with a nanny until 6 months old, then go to daycare. DH gets 6 weeks paternity leave. I am attempting to negotiate paid STD to cover maternity leave/surgery. If I do not get it, then this will be an additional expense.

    I have my own home office, as does DH. His is an upstairs bedroom where I can squat in complete isolation if DH and the toddler are home.

    My neighborhood is small and I look forward to being able to be more involved, so I don’t think I’ll get lonely. Also, one of my duties will be business development in the form of attending networking events and lunches, so I’ll get paid to network (it’s not CLE booths/cold calling, so it’ll be very similar to typical lawyer networking). So I should be able to stay in touch with legal contacts, as well.

    I have to give my answer by today. They want me to start ASAP as they have a client willing to give them a great project if I can work on it.

    • NYNY

      Find out if health insurance is an available benefit. If your husband’s job goes, COBRA would eat up your savings really quickly.

      Think about how you and your husband will split home duties. If you’re working from home all the time, he may think it’s all your job now. Especially if he was pulling double duty while you were working crazy hours.

      Other than that, it sounds like you’re willing to trade money for sanity, which is totally fair. Your commute will be gone, so that ‘s over 10 hours you get back each week, not counting all the time you’re currently working beyond 40 hours.

      • Toffee

        No health insurance, so COBRA is a risk DH mentioned. But I think is small since his industry almost always gives coverage to his level immediately and he shouldn’t have trouble getting a new job.

        He will expect me to do more. We talked about it and he said he just doesn’t want to be cleaning up after my lunch dishes, etc. I suspect he’ll expect me to do more, but I’m fine with that.

      • tesyaa

        +1. It’s clearly a quality of life issue for you and it makes perfect sense to scale down in this way. The idea of moving to a less expensive area is good if it works for you; just remember that moving is expensive or time consuming, or both. If you’re limited to two weeks of PTO, preparing for a move will eat into that time.

      • Meg Murry

        +1 to health insurance – I’d actually prioritize that over STD or paid maternity leave, personally, although it can’t hurt to ask about STD/maternity leave.

        I’d personally take it if I were you, but I’m not a lawyer so I don’t know how hard it would be for you to go back to a firm if you decide you don’t like this job or if it doesn’t last. Am I correct in remembering you were the former engineer, or was that a different poster? I’d work on beefing back up your engineering network too once you take this job – you never know, you could decide you want to go back that route someday.

        I wouldn’t put all your eggs in the basket of moving to a less expensive area, as you may find out there isn’t anything in your price range or your house could be on the market for a while or you could have moving expenses take up a huge chunk of your savings. But you should definitely explore it as an option to cut your expenses. Same thing with your daughter’s daycare – don’t count on the lower cost center, but explore the options.

        Again, good luck and I hope it works out!

        • Toffee

          I am an engineer. Great memory. I still think that’s a fall back if this doesn’t work.

          Moving may actually be profitable. A neighbor has his comparable home listed for $100k more than we paid 2 years ago and he’s getting a lot of interest. Ours is more modern and in better condition with more upgrades. But, worst case, we don’t sell and just make other changes to the budget.

      • LawDawg

        For all the people who are concerned about health insurance, I agree it is something to look at, but it’s not like the old days. ACA gives you choices beyond COBRA, if you should need to pay for something on your own. Good luck with your change (I’m assuming that you will make the move)!

        • Mpls

          And depending on your state, the private market (direct from the insurance companies) for individual coverage could be better than ACA. In MN, the exchanges really only make sense if you are getting the benefit of the subsidy, but we also have a lot of options outside the exchanges as well.

    • TNTT

      Ugh sorry, I accidentally reported your comment rather than replying!

      Anyway, I think scaling down like this is a great option, UNLESS this particular patent search firm is the one named after a small red bird…

      • Toffee

        It’s not, lol. It’s much smaller, has an excellent business model, and some very happy clients. I’ve used that one and they were terrible, lol.

    • Anon

      This sounds like a great move for you. I apologize if I’m projecting my own thoughts on you but it sounds like you may be asking whether this is the “correct” decision (as if there is only 1 correct path) that you will not regret – be aware that you may have some doubts/regrets when you make the switch (e.g. should I have stayed, why did I give up the salary, etc.) – I know I did and still do after switching to in-house. These are totally normal and you shouldn’t be down on yourself for having doubts. Think about what you prioritize (time, having a set schedule, a life), and go from there – you can always switch if you don’t like it. If you don’t feel this way, then ignore! I am just learning that, unlike in school, there is no set path in life that I’m supposed to follow, which is both reassuring and scary :)

    • Coach Laura

      Good luck Toffee! If you take it (and it sounds like you will) make sure to keep networking. You may find the perfect firm or in-house position in a year or two.

    • Hollis

      Congratulations! I’ve been the one advocating for you to switch practice areas for awhile, but it sounds like you actually want to stay in patent work, in which case I think this would be a good move for you. Pay cuts are not great, but sanity/mental health is way better and think about all the money you’ll save on therapy! I would make the trade-off just to get rid of your awful commute. Best of luck to you and congrats again.

  7. Jacket / sweater for Gemma dress?

    I like this dress, but my office is freezing. Can anyone recommend a jacket / structured sweater that works well with it? I feel that with a dress, especially a wrap dress, the dress is the outfit (which is easy, unless you are cold). My current cardi is a bit too boxy (and maybe the fabric is a bit too winter) to really go with it (but today I don’t care).

  9. Meg March

    Just got a skirt this weekend from StitchFix (which has mostly been a huge failure, don’t even get me started) that’s a thick, super stretchy knit with no zippers/buttons/fasteners of any kind. The knit has enough structure that it’s not body-con, but it’s stretchy enough that I feel like I’m wearing pajamas. Why aren’t all my skirts like this?? Where can I buy more??

      • tesyaa

        I don’t know about Walmart since it’s not that convenient for me to go there, but a lot of my Target items are better quality and last longer, looking better than some of my brand name items (Loft and Banana Republic, for instance). I have no shame about shopping for clothes there.

        • NM

          It’s less about quality (I agree re Target, as well as this particular skirt from Walmart) and more about the big evil corporation.

    • lsw

      CAN I get you started on StitchFix though? Haha. I have been highly suspicious of it but have two friends who love it so consider me stitch-curious. I think I love shopping too much to outsource it, though.

      • Batgirl

        My two cents: I’ve typically found one or two things in each “fix” that I like a lot and want to keep. They’re definitely overpriced, but I hate shopping so much that I’m thrilled to have something just arrive at my door. It’s also pushing me out of my comfort zone a bit in a way that has been good for my wardrobe. But I only do it every few months.

        • Alli

          I agree with Batgirl. I only do it when I feel I need some new pieces but don’t have time to physically shop. It’s hit and miss, but I’m on my third box, and the stylist gets better at identifying what I will keep each time. It’s particularly helpful them to give them feedback on the pieces you are returning and why they didn’t work for you. That helps them know that those pants didn’t work because my rear end is a 6 and my waist is a 2, or whatever. (That may or may not have ever happened to me, ha.) If you have Pinterest, they can also look at your style boards and see the types of things you like.

          • Meg Murry

            Yes – the one person I know who loves Stitch Fix also regularly updates her Pinterest style boards so her stylist knows what she is looking for. She also works on the very casual end of business casual, bordering on jeans casual, so for her Stitch Fix is about adding updated pieces/trends to help everything look pulled together. For me, updating style boards would take about as long as just online shopping and returning what I don’t like, so its not worth it for me, plus I don’t think they work with my size anyway.

      • Scarlett

        It seems to me like Blue Apron or Plated but for shopping instead of cooking. If shopping or keeping up on trends isn’t your thing, it’s a quick fix for that. But if you’re already into it, then it probably won’t be that amazing. That was my experience – I cancelled after one try. It wasn’t bad, just nothing I wasn’t already finding on my own.

      • Meg March

        My first box was awesome, loved it, kept everything. They were pieces I didn’t have, they were trendy, they pushed my comfort-zone. Nothing that I would have picked myself but have ended up being wardrobe staples. Since then, it’s gone downhill. They no longer seem to pay attention to what I ask for, my body type, my Pinterest (to which I am a frequent Pinner). For example, in this box, I said I was looking for: bright colors for spring, non-jersey tops for work, colored jeans, and a light jacket for spring. I got this skirt (patterned in black and white), a grey top that had lattice work across the shoulders that made bras impossible, a beige sweatshirt, plain black leggings (no interesting details, not even a zipper), and a chambray jacket that looked like something my unfashionable mother wore in the 90s. So I’m very much over StitchFix, because I feel like I’ve given them a ton of guidance on what I’m looking for, and they just entirely miss the mark.

      • LAnon

        My two cents on Stitch Fix are… try Le Tote! They send you a new “tote” of clothes on a rotating basis with the same “keep what you want to buy” concept, except you can wear the clothes as long as you want before sending back what you don’t want. Most of the totes have two accessories and three items of apparel. Most of the clothes I get from them, I wear once or twice and send back although I have kept a few pieces. It has been really nice to mix up my closet a bit. A lot of the clothes are pretty basic / bordering on boring but it works for me so I can wear them to work. The only potential challenge is sizes – I am a 10/12 and I feel like I am right at the top of their size range.

        • Meg March

          I’ve tried LeTote! I got a free one-month trial (that then got extended for an extra 3 weeks!). I ended up deciding it was too expensive for not getting to keep anything, but it was fun to try new things (and definitely gave me some ideas of gaps in my wardrobe).

    • Anon

      Can you post the style “name” of the skirt, for all of us Stitch Fix users who might be interested in requesting it for further boxes?

    • anon

      target has ponte pencil skirts for sale right now, I am wearing mine today. also look for ‘tube’ skirts. The Vince Camuto line has midi length ones that I am in love with, and want to marry.

    • S in Chicago

      That sounds exactly like my favorite skirt from Ann Taylor. I don’t know why they have a belt resting on it in the photo, but it’s simple (no belt loops), a mid-weight material (not super heavy but enough structure to keep it from being body con) and has a stretch band built into the top (so no gaping). I bought it on a whim online and loved the black so much that I came back to get the other two colors. Seriously the most comfortable and flattering skirt I’ve owned.

      http://www.anntaylor.com/ponte-clean-pencil-skirt/312410?colorExplode=false&skuId=16954120&catid=cata000016&productPageType=search&defaultColor=0191

      • First Year Anon

        I have this skirt and It’s also a great go-to. Comfy, no wrinkles.

  10. Zelda

    How do you keep your workout clothes smelling fresh? Sometimes the armpits are still a smelly after I wash them. My detergent is otherwise pretty good, so I’d prefer a pretreatment or wash additive option, rather than a whole new detergent. Some of the suggestions I’ve seen online include soaking in diluted vinegar or lemon juice, adding baking soda to the wash, adding vinegar to the rinse cycle, etc, but I’d prefer to hear from y’all about what works for you.

    • AnonInfinity

      Vinegar works for me! I put the workout clothes in there with detergent and pour maybe1/4 to 1/2 c vinegar for the whole load, then I let it soak for about 45 mins before finishing out the wash cycle.

      • Anon

        Yes, we use vinegar too. It’s the only thing that gets the build-up BO out of technical fabrics (in my experience).

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      Vinegar. 1/2 cup for the load, on hot. It also gets the funk out of towels. Also don’t use fabric softener, that contributes to the build up of odours in the first place.

    • Anon

      None of the pretreatments worked for me, but if you do consider switching at some point, I find that sport and laundry powder detergents have worked well (and bonus, good for my synthetic work shirts too). I like Sports Suds and have also liked Charlie’s and Nellie’s detergents.

    • mascot

      If those don’t work, I like SportsSuds (someone here turned me on to it). I use it on my workout gear every couple of washes and just use regular detergent the rest of the time. It seems to get odors and residue out. I don’t use fabric softener on technical gear either.

    • Another anonymous Judge

      Forget diluted vinegar! I put ours in a big ziploc with a lot of regular strength vinegar. Soak away for a few hours then launder as usual. Works great for us.

    • Anon

      Some of my athletic clothes developed a smell and the only thing that fixed them was letting them soak in a mixture of detergent/vinegar/oxyclean overnight. I tried washing them with those things, but apparently some of the fabrics resist water, so just washing it with vinegar, etc may not be enough. It needed soaking.

    • Seattle Freeze

      Line dry. If I run in it, it never goes in the dryer. Switching to line drying let me quit using a sport detergent.

      • Must be Tuesday

        This is what works for me: Soak in bucket of vinegar and water immediately after use. Leave soaking in bucket until ready to do laundry. Run workout clothes in a batch of laundry with no fabric softener. Line dry.

  11. Weight Loss?

    Has anyone lost weight by using a method that doesn’t involve counting calories? I’m not great at keeping up with My Fitness Pal or the other tracking apps, but I do want to lose about 20 lbs. Is this even possible?

    Also, I am not interested in Paleo–I love cheese and beans way too much to cut them out completely!

    • Zelda

      I lost a bunch of weight back in college following the South Beach Diet. The initial stage (2 weeks) is pretty strict, but otherwise it’s fairly manageable. It encourages you to eat a lot of fruit/veggies and lean protein, limited amounts of whole grains/”good” fats and very little added sugar. Beans and low fat cheese are definitely allowed! I’m no longer strict with it but still incorporate some of its principles into my (generally healthy) eating.

    • Anonymous

      What do you think your weaknesses are? i.e. eating out of boredom, portion control/ difficulty recognizing what a “portion” is, too many sweets, alcohol and/or alcohol-fueled eating? If you can identify your problem areas when it comes to your diet, you can probably address those areas and lose some weight. Intuitive eating-type programs have worked for me. Letting go of eating my feelings and tying myself worth to what I ate that day helped me lose weight (over a pretty long period of time).

    • Frozen Peach

      Yes!! I actually followed the advice of my nutritionist and nurse family and friends, and made some small changes that, over about 6 months, added up to a weight loss of significantly more than 20 lbs.

      1) Tried to cut out most carbs– bread and white potatoes became a special treat instead of every day. Replaced with quinoa, protein bars, sweet potatoes (these were particularly key)
      2) Tried to eat as much protein as possible– so actually, lots of beans and cheese! Also lots of yogurt. Seriously, high-protein, low-carb was my mantra, and it worked over time. And I was never hungry.
      3) Started always carrying fruit and healthy snacks so that the emergency hunger situations were not solved by something bad for me
      4) Played a constant game with meals that involved “how many veggies can I add to this?” Essentially pretending I was Jerry Seinfield’s wife and trying to sneak veggies past myself as though I were a kid.
      5) Had one day a week (usually weekend) when all bets were off and no rules applied. This was also key, because it made me feel like I wasn’t dieting or deprived, so the loose “rules” were much easier to apply the rest of the week.
      6) Started drinking a LOT more water and fizzy water, and taking a multivitamin religiously.
      7) Started consuming fiber at slightly above the max rate recommended on fiber supplements (after clearing with doctor). Became slightly obsessed with…regularity. But this one actually made a huge difference in the weight loss, almost immediately. I can recommend some awesome fiber gummies that are yummy enough that they scratched my sweet tooth craving at the end of the day.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      I know you’re not interested in paleo, but you could adapt some of the things that make paleo such a great weight loss plan (without calorie counting) for some. I did a couple whole30’s (super super strict paleo but for only 30 days and then you reintro foods to see what agrees with you and what doesn’t) and I think the parts that work for me are: a) eating so many veggies (when you go from eating one serving veggies, one serving grains/carbs, one serving meat at each meal to one serving meat, two servings veggies, you are going to cut calories and lose weight, no question) and b) knowing exactly what I can and can’t have (stops me from justifying junk and eating things that are not delicious enough to warrant the splurge).

      So you could set up your own clean-eating plan (that includes beans and cheese, for example) that might help accomplish those goals. If you’re not calorie counting, I think you have to food restrict to some degree. Just my two cents.

    • Cream Tea

      Portion control is by far the biggest factor for me. If you can cut out all the unnecessary stuff (and I mean ALL the unnecessary stuff) and cut your portions by 1/3 then you should have no trouble losing weight without the calorie-counting. An extra workout per week and a few evening walks and you’ll see results in a few weeks.

    • Apples

      I have used the 17 Day Diet with success. It is much more focused on putting good things in your body, rather than on counting calories or telling you what not to eat.

    • Idea

      I really like WeightWatchers. My husband and I were just discussing cheese last night. I did have success on WeightWatchers limiting myself to cheese once a day. I’m like Wallace in Wallace & Gromit – I love cheese!

    • anon

      For lunch and dinner, fill up half your plate with veggies. Find some fantastic salad recipes so you actually enjoy super healthy options more.

      • Zelda

        Also realize that eating lots of veggies doesn’t always require eating lots of salads. When I’m organized I roast a bunch of veggies at the beginning of the week, then eat those with various proteins. Delicious, easy and healthy!

    • roses

      Whatever diet you choose, please don’t underestimate the importance of fitting in physical activity into your day. While it’s proven that diet typically has more of an effect on your weight than exercise, exercise can have a big impact on the food choices you make for yourself. For me, it helps stabilize my blood sugar so I’m not getting those steep drops that make me want to eat the first thing I see, and it also has replaced my boredom eating – I can take a walk instead of going to the vending machine in the afternoon. It also makes me feel good about myself, which makes me want to eat better.

    • Anon

      Eat the recommended 12 servings of fruit and vegetables every day (juice and starchy vegetables like corn and potatoes do not count).

    • Zelda

      Another tip is to find healthy recipe sites that you like. Some of my favorites are Kalyn’s Kitchen, Skinnytaste, Real Simple and Cooking Light. They’ve already counted the calories and/or created healthy meals for me, so I don’t have to think about it. Ideally you should be eating the recommended portions, but 1/5 portions of a 350 calorie meal is still a lot better than one 800 calorie meal!

    • Rogue Banker

      I’ve had great results from MFP (40 lbs down as of this morning! *happy dance*) but my mother hasn’t. Instead of tracking, she’s cut out almost all carbs and every processed thing possible – lots of meat and salads and yogurt and fruits, basically. She eats as much as makes her feel satisfied, but not stuffed. She’s an elementary school art teacher, so moving around all day isn’t an issue for her like it is for me. :P

      It’s working great for her, apparently – she’s almost matching me as far as pounds lost.

  12. Anon For This

    We made an offer on a house this morning!!!! In our HCOL area/crazy market we know that we are likely to not get this house given – well – everything… but it feels so good to have ripped the bandaid and actually put in a competitive offer. Hopefully there are good things to come, if not with this house then another :)

    • Gray29

      Anon For This, exciting! As someone who has been house searching in a HCOL area/crazy market for what feels like forever, I understand your excitement at just having activity! I will keep my fingers crossed for you!!

    • Brant

      Ugh, I’m jealous. We live in a HCOL area (Boston); our realtor told us another of her clients, shopping in a nearby town, went to an open house that was attended BY FIVE HUNDRED PEOPLE. I almost died.

      I am busy brooding that DH and I work incredibly hard, make very comfortable salaries (just over 300k between us), and we are looking at dropping 750k+ for “fixer uppers” or moving to an even further out ‘burb. We could afford something a big more, technically, but we have a brood of little ones that need daycare (or nanny), and also college one day.

      • Anon For This

        Ha. We’re Boston too, which is why I’m 99.9% certain we won’t get the house because someone is inevitably going to offer $50k over asking and win it. I fear this will be offer #1 of a long list of offers we’ll have to make before we find a home.

        • Brant

          500 person open house was in Belmont, in case you were morbidly curious. We are not looking there but our realtor serves that town as well.

      • Also Anon

        Yep, we’re in Silicon Valley making over $300k and in the same boat. Already expensive “fixer” homes are listed for $1.1m+ and going for 25%+ over asking in all-cash offers after bidding wars within a week of being listed. Each time a townhome in our development was sold in the past few months, it goes for an all-time high… which sounds great for us when we sell except that all the other properties in the area are also going for all-time highs. Between IPO money and Chinese investors, the market is just insane here. Our small tri-level townhome is going to be very challenging with an infant, and the school we’re assigned to is not good, so in a few years we’ll either need to jump back into the bidding wars to try to buy a bigger/flatter home in a better school zone, or face the prospect of $25k/year private school. Ugh.

      • BB

        Also in Boston. I am hoping that part of the insane demand is because the market basically stopped last month, and now people are desperate to find a place after losing a month.

        I don’t understand the mentality of people offering $50-100K over ask though. I mean, even if I found a $400K place I loved, I still wouldn’t offer $500K just to get it even though that’s still well below my price range. Don’t these people worry about overpaying?

  13. Physical sunscreen

    Any recommendations on a physical (not chemical) sunscreen I can wear under makeup that does NOT leave a white cast one the face? I have a medium complexion (think Halle Berry) and the Paula’s Choice sunscreen I currently use always leaves a white cast. I have read that physical sunscreens are much better for guarding against hyper pigmentation, so I don’t want to switch to a chemical sunscreen. Any recs?

    • Tinkerbell

      I really like Josie Maran’s SPF47 – I think it’s a physical sunscreen. It dissolves more easily on my face when I apply it immediately after moisturizer.

    • Anonymous

      I’m inclined to doubt that this is possible… If something is physically blocking light, it’s going to be visible, because that’s what happens when you block light.

    • S in Chicago

      Skinceuticals Physical Block (not the sheer version). I believe someone on here recommended it a couple of years ago, and it’s all I’ll use now. It’s thin yet very powerful and has a tint added to it that allows it to easily blend. I love it so much that I stopped using primer under my foundation. I have sensitive, acne-pone skin and it doesn’t irritate.

    • Zelda

      I’m around the same complexion as you (I usually use Beyonce as my reference) and I love Coola Mineral Sunscreen Matte Tint (SPF 30). The sunscreen is a light brown color and the texture is incredibly light and smooth, so rubs in perfectly and just leaves a matte effect (no noticeable tint). I love it! Definitely my holy grail sunscreen.

      I used to use Josie Maran SPF 40+, but switched because it made my combo skin too shiny in the summer. It’s now been discontinued, but you could get a sample of its replacement (SPF 47) at Sephora to see if it works for you.

  14. Anon for this

    I just need to vent about something. I’m 27 and have been single for the last two years. During this time, my mom has been fairly supportive – telling me that I don’t need to worry, and that she’ll be happy to meet multiple boyfriends if thats the reason why I wasn’t telling her about anything or what not. This is a departure from the rest of my extended family, who (likely for cultural reasons), thinks I’m a total loser for still being single and have made really mean comments about me.

    So I’m finally dating someone and I’m really happy (even though it’s only been a few months). I told my mom about him last night and her response, after asking me a few questions was basically “okay”. I feel like she may be disappointed that he’s not within the faith and culture but I’m so disappointed in her reaction. I thought she would be more supportive of me, especially considering how close we are.

    Any thoughts? Do I just wait for her to come around and hope that she gets over it? Do I talk to her about it?

    • Anonymous

      Woah. Ok. So he’s not of your faith or culture and her initial unprepared reaction is “okay.” And you’re upset?!? That’s actually awesome. That is supportive. She does not need to squeal with joy. Find a friend for that. She’s not expressing disapproval, she says it’s okay, and that’s reallg plenty of support for now.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love Pricey Monday’s and this blazer, but the short back would only highlight my tuchus, so I will pass, Kat! But good choice for those in the hive with smaller tuchuses (or tuchii, according to the manageing partner).

      As for the OP, no you are NOT a loser for being 27 and not married. I am to be 34 (yay) and I am not married, nor do I have a boyfreind. You must please YOURSELF, and not necesarily your family. As far as being from a different faith and culture, that DOES complicate thing’s a bit, but it kind of depends. It’s one thing if you are from New York and he is from South Dakota — or something like that, which is NOT something that is too bad, but it is another thing if you are from New York and he is from Equador Afgainstan or Ethopia, and then you have cultural difference’s that are very dificult to overcome. Which is it? If he want’s you to adopt his culture, or worse yet move back to his country, that could be dificult. I had a guy from Belgum that wanted to marry me and move me back there. Willem’s family wanted me to become a breeder for him right away, and live on his family property where they probabley churn butter all day. That was NOT for me. Think how much worse it would be if you had this or had to go to Equador, Afgainstan or Ethopia? FOOEY!

      The other thing you MUST watch out for is the GREEN Card syndrome. You may be attractive b/c you are a USA Citizen and can get him in. If this is the case, DOUBEL FOOEY b/c once he get’s a green card, he could dump you, and you will be older and already divorced and less attractive then you are today. So please listen to your mom if she is concerned about this.

      Finaly, be carful about cultural differences that make you dress in a Burka or shave your head for his religon. That is NOT something a profesional woman should want to do in the US. There are to many stories about pretty women that had sex with uncurcumsticed men from a 3rd world country and afterward decided to go commando and went all out with the religious stuff. If that is not you, then stop here, do not pass GO and do not collect $200. FOOEY on men that want us to go commando for them with the religious stuff.

      Otherwise, date him and if he is right for you, MARRY him! YAY!!!

    • Marie

      Is it possible that your mom doesn’t want to seem like she is putting additional pressure on you by getting really excited about this new guy? It’s a bummer that she wasn’t more excited since you are happy about it… It might just take some time but it seems like your mom supports you, do you think that if your man shows he is open to participating in cultural and religious events that would help get her more excited, as she gets to know him better? Just some thoughts… good luck!!

    • relax...

      Sometimes I think we look for problems when really, we don’t have them….

      You have a mother who sounds kind and supportive to me. A mother who despite being in a “cultural” background of folks who may have more traditional views on women’s roles, does not put pressure on you… gives you space to have relationships and doesn’t judge you.

      And Geez…. I’m 45 and single. I’d like to hear what you and your family think of me!?

      My mother died many years ago and we don’t see any distant relatives, who are …… distant. What I would give to be you, with an interested and caring mother and relatives that are actually involved in your life.

      And you don’t even realize how lucky you are…

      Take a deep breath.

      • Anon

        Anything beyond her current reaction might be over the top… you don’t want her to squeal and pressure you to marry some new guy you’ve been dating for two months, after all!

    • Anon for this

      OP here.

      Maybe I am overreacting. I just thought she would be happier because she keeps saying all she wants is for me to be happy and to have someone to support me.

      Maybe I’m just a little sensitive right now. The whole faith and culture thing is a bigger problem for my parents I guess but honestly, not a big part of my life at all. Like I probably attend religious ceremonies 3-5 times a year.

      Marie – you may be right. I guess I was just expecting more of a reaction from her, especially since we are fairly close.

      Thanks for the insight ladies.

      • Violet

        Relax. Your mom does not want to make it seem like you are a real loser who has finally found a guy that will go out with you more than once or twice. But you say you want someone to support you. By that, I am wondering if you are yourself grabbing at this guy (irrespective of background) because he has a job and can pay the bills. That should not be the reason to enter into a relationship. I am happy you have a guy, but in your own glee, please take care emotionally and physically and not get pregnant until you know he is the one. If you haven’t dated for a while, be sure to go to your OBGYN and get proper protection before you get intimate with him.

      • RosaD

        I’m from what sounds like a similar religious/ethnic group and I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’m also super sensitive to this issue. My parents are supportive and claim that they don’t care if I date outside our community (which I do almost exclusively, because of circumstances more than intention) but I am constantly reading subtext in their reactions to things. Maybe I’m right, maybe they have more mixed feelings about it than they are explicitly telling me about. I’ve tried to feel ok with that possibility and accept that even if they aren’t totally on board in their heads they are being outwardly supportive of me. I do think there are pressures on them that I don’t have, especially from their parents and older generations. I’m not really a part of that community any more, but they are, so they face pressure and judgement that is a part of my daily life any more. I understand what the other commenters are saying but I don’t think you are overreacting at all. It’s a tricky situation to be in. It sounds like your mom is handling is pretty well, and I think the key is to just breathe through it and do your best to accept her support at face value instead of overthinking it. I do my best with that, but it’s not always easy to do. Just wanted to let you know that I feel you!

    • (former) preg 3L

      I think she’s being cautiously optimistic — she’s probably very happy for you but doesn’t want to make you feel like she was lying when she told you that you were complete as a single person! Sounds like you expected her to react like one of your girlfriends, and she didn’t, because she’s not one of your girlfriends — she’s your mom. No worries. Congrats on being in a happy relationship!

      • January

        +1. I obviously don’t know your mom or your relationship, but I don’t think her reaction was a bad thing.

        And just a follow-up to the mom vs. girlfriends thought – the consequences of this relationship (e.g., potential disapproval from other relatives) probably weigh more heavily on your mom than on your friends, even if your mom is totally supportive.

      • First Year Anon

        +1 That sounds like it could it be it. Maybe she’ll act more excited as things progress.

    • anon

      My dad was not very excited to meet my boyfriend (who is now my husband). I think he was just being cautious because he didn’t know how it would work out. These relationships grow over time. Don’t worry about her reaction at this point! She’ll come around.

    • Baconpancakes

      My mom is very reserved with my boyfriends, because she doesn’t want to get invested in a relationship that doesn’t work out, and make me feel even worse for letting HER down if a relationship ends. If your mom doesn’t want to hear about what you and your boyfriend do together, doesn’t want to talk about him or meet him, then maybe you should ask her what’s wrong. Otherwise, she just sounds like she’s trying to continue being supportive and not pressuring you. Just enjoy being happy in your relationship for now!

  15. Bonnie

    The jeans paired with this jacket are horrendous. I don’t get the trying to look like you just rolled out of bed look, especially when the look throws together your boyfriend’s jeans and a tailored jacket.

    • Anonattorney

      I actually love the look of boyfriend jeans and blazers – but these jeans, with the weird detailing on the side, are truly horrendous.

  16. nutella

    Ladies, I did a major major closet cleanout this weekend. I’d like to get as much money as I can for my things and then give away the rest. What are people’s favorite routes to do this with minimal effort by me?

    Thank you!

      • nutella

        ebay is too much effort for me to photograph and list and then ship every item. I will check out liketwice, though!

          • Anonymous

            IME, community “Facebook yard sale” groups yield a lot more money than ebay, and that’s before considering the massive cut you’ll pay to ebay.

        • Anonymous

          It takes me literally under 5 min to list an item and shipping takes under a minute. Never had an unhappy buyer.

          • KC

            I agree. If you use the eBay app (phone or iPad), you can snap photos, type in a description, and list the item in 3-5 minutes tops. Postage can be printed from Paypal once the buyer sends funds, and then I just drop the package in the mail on the way to work. Not worth it for every t-shirt, but for the slightly more valuable items the resale value is worth the effort.

          • nutella

            Thanks for the suggestions, I will reconsider ebay. But I have two large construction-sized bags full of clothing. I will not sell it all on ebay but maybe for some more valuable items. What about the items in between ebay and donating? Any more suggestions for selling?

          • tesyaa

            I get it, I have not had an unhappy buyer (have only sold 2 items and don’t plan on selling more), but I’ve been an unhappy buyer, and I honestly always feel bad for the sellers who made mistakes and now have to pay return shipping because they sent me the entirely wrong pair of shoes, or didn’t notice a stain or a rip in a garment or posted the wrong measurements. I’d think that would eat into one’s time and profits. And anyone can make a mistake and overlook a stain or a small hole, especially if they have a day job and just want to earn a few extra dollars.

            ETA: There have been times I have overlooked flawed garments too if the flaw is not so noticeable, but if a garment is listed “no stains no holes” and has stains or holes, I prefer to send it back.

          • anon

            look for a local consignment shop. Especially one that sells to older people/work clothes. I go to one with a bag of clothes and get maybe $40.

      • mintberrycrunch

        I have used ThredUp and had a good experience. I didn’t get as much for my clothing items as I hoped, but it was all stuff that I would have sent to Goodwill, so getting $40 for the bag was a bonus (They also have an option where they’ll send back what they don’t sell for a small fee, I think, but i didn’t do that since I was just planning to donate the stuff anyway).

        Very painless process and user-friendly website IMO.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Me too. I had about half a bag of shoes and got about $20. I otherwise would have donated them so the $20 was nice.

      • Kelly K

        Belle at CapHillStyle posted about her experience with ThreadUp if you’re interested in learning more.

      • L

        I sent off a giant bag full of stuff and they accepted one skirt. I am plus sized so maybe that had to do with it? I really wish I just would have donated it.

        • mintberrycrunch

          That’s frustrating, but I’m fairly certain that ThredUp donates what they do not accept, so at least your clothes were eventually donated anyway? I am around the same size and think that may have contributed to only about 1/2 of my bag being accepted as well.

    • Scarlett

      Consignment stores. There are a ton in my city (SF), and I sort my clothes to separate out the “good” stuff and just drive in a few bags. Way less effort than eBay, a bit less money but worth it to me.

    • lucy stone

      I am the laziest person alive, and Like Twice is pretty awesome. They send me the bag and literally all I need to do is count my items and toss them in. Even if I get paid less than I expected, it was stuff that was leaving my house for Goodwill or St VdP if not for Twice, and now I get a little Starbucks money.

      • Parfait

        Agree, I’ve been loving Like Twice. They are quite particular about what they will accept, but if your items meet their criteria, you’ll get some cash. I usually go for store credit because they pay a bit more in that farm and they have some nice stuff. I got a bright blue, very nice quality leather J Crew purse in perfect condition for a song and I get tons of compliments on it.

        They’ll send you a big giant bag or give you a shipping label to print out.

    • Bonnie

      Keep in mind that if you itemize taxes, donating the clothing and writing off the deduction may be wiser financially than selling the items.

      • Baconpancakes

        Only if you donate upwards of either $300 or $500 worth of goods. I looked into it this year, and was surprised by the amount. I had donated probably $100 worth of clothes (by Goodwill’s calculations – probably $500 to purchase new), and it wasn’t enough to be factored in.

  17. Colored Blazers?

    I’m presenting at a tech conference in a few weeks and I feel like a full suit will be too much. I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for a colored blazer, and I’ve been wanting one anyway for a while, but I cannot find any! I have narrow shoulder and a larger chest so even the blazers I’ve found either don’t close or are enormous everywhere except the chest. Any ideas?

  18. Alli

    I am traveling to Vancouver next weekend (Easter) with a girlfriend and was wondering if anyone has recommendations. The main purpose of the trip is to drive down the coast to the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival in Washington. We will do that on Friday and spend the rest of the weekend in Vancouver. I would love tips or suggestions from anyone who knows the area!

    • lucy stone

      This weekend sounds delightful! I’ve been to Vancouver 3x and love it. Favorites include riding bikes around Stanley Park and sitting at Cardero’s or Tap and Barrel and watching floatplanes take off and land.

      • LilyS

        Cardero’s is amazing, we went there for lunch as our last Canadian meal on our most recent trip.
        My family’s favourite in Vancouver is the Old Spaghetti House which is really fairly downmarket but does really good food at very reasonable prices. Great when you’ve been travelling all day!

    • N.C. anon

      If it’s not part of the plan already, consider catching Chuckanut Drive from Bellingham down to Skagit Valley. Curvy, hilly roads but gorgeous views.

  19. (former) preg 3L

    Seeking gift suggestions! Friends moved and I want to send them something. They are a family of 4: Dad went to law school with me (now works in biglaw), Mom was wonderful to me through my pregnancy even though we never became terribly close (now a SAHM), son who is 6 years old and daughter who is 1.5 years old. What could I send that they could all enjoy? TIA.

    ETA: Ideally under $50, but could go a bit higher for the right gift.

    • Anonymous

      A card. A nice chatty thoughtful card. There’s no need to give people gifts when they move, and you need the money more than them.

        • Baconpancakes

          The normal “housewarming” gift is rarely anything more than a plant, and most people kill those anyway!

          • Wildkitten

            Yeah – if you have to mail something just send a card. The plant/bottle of wine is for going to a housewarming party. You don’t have to send a present in the mail. Send a card.

    • LondonLeisureYear

      Maybe a family membership to the children’s museum or zoo in the area? I am sure the SAHM would appreciate it and it would help them explore their new city.

    • Zelda

      When close friends bought a new house, I bought them a version of the traditional Jewish housewarming gift. I bought fancy salt (pink or black sea salt), flavored sugar (vanilla or cinnamon) and (I think) fancy focacia mix for the bread portion, then wrote the following in a card:
      -“Bread so that you shall never know hunger”
      -“Salt, so your life shall always have flavor”
      -“Sugar and so your life shall always have sweetness”

      It wasn’t expensive (bought the salt and sugar at HomeGoods), but they loved the thought and symbolism behind it. Plus, everything was useful.

        • Baconpancakes

          The traditional is a loaf a bread, salt, and a bottle of wine (replaced by the sugar). I like the sugar substitute idea for people who don’t drink.

        • Miss Behaved

          There’s a scene in “Its a Wonderful Life” where Mary and George present salt, bread and wine to a couple who has just bought a new house through the Savings and Loan.

      • Coach Laura

        Italians have the same custom with a twist – bread, salt and wine. But sugar would be easier to mail than wine. A gift basket is fun to prepare and to give.

      • Emily

        Koreans buy laundry detergent so that your wealth/luck will bubble and multiply… (plus, isn’t it handy to receive laundry detergent? unless you are picky about brand, then, less so)

  20. Anon

    Quick question – may post in a bit. Important meetings coming up back to back (different external parties). OK to wear “quality dress”, not a suit.

    I might buy a navy dress – should I wear nude heels, navy heels, or black patent heels?

    Also, can I wear the same dress back to back, or should I get a second one?

    • Zelda

      I like nude best with navy, then navy. I wouldn’t do black unless you have some other black in your outfit (so that it looks intentional).

      Does back to back mean the same day or different days? I would wear the same dress if it’s the same day, different dress if it’s different days, unless there’s enough time in between to clean it if necessary.

        • Ella

          Will there be any overlap of people who see you both days? If you have to come into the office (for example) for extended periods of time both days, I would wear something different each day. If not, and you have time to air the dress out between wearings, I would wear the same dress twice.

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