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Updated: May 24, 2019 176 Comments · by

Splurge Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Milano Knit Sheath Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Purple Work Dress: St. John Collection Milano Knit Sheath Dress 2019 Update: The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale has started — check out all our workwear advice and Nordstrom sale roundups to make the most of the sale! Also, sign up for our newsletter to stay on top of all the great sales! The below content concerns the 2016 Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale. Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I continue to notice new things in the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale (did you see last week's workwear picks and weekend roundup?) and this purple dress looks simple, versatile, and a great gateway drug to St. John. I'd wear it with neutrals like gray, navy, black, white, even beige, and add a pop of red (a heel, a lip) if I wanted to have a bit of fun with the color. It was $795 but is now marked 40% off to $476 (lucky sizes). St. John Collection Milano Knit Sheath Dress Two lower-priced options are here and here; two plus-size alternatives are here and here. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

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Comments

  1. Blue

    Anyone else go to a college reunion this weekend?

    I had a fantastic time at mine… but feeling blue that I don’t get to have that amazing experience again for 5 years. The weekend went so quickly — too many people I didn’t get to talk to and conversations that were too short.

    • reunions

      I had a pretty good time going to my first 5 year reunion.

      And now I have no desire to ever go again!

      But that’s still better than high school reunions…. Just….. Never.

      • H

        I had a blast at my 10 year high school reunion. I lost touch with most of my college friends (I moved across country right after graduation) so I have less desire to go to those.

    • Anonymous

      I went to my 5 year and felt like it was kind of a waste of time. Nobody seemed interested in catching up with casual acquaintances at all. Everyone just wanted to hang out with their close friends, and I had been seeing all my close friends regularly at weddings because that was a time in our lives when everyone was getting married. My 10 year is coming up soon and I’m not planning to go. I have three college friend weddings this year and two next year, so I’ll be seeing a lot of the people I would talk to at the reunion anyway. Maybe I’ll go to our 20 year because it will presumably be a while since I’ve seen anyone at a wedding at that point (although based on my first reunion experience, I’d still rather just grab a couple close friends and go to Mexico).

      • Diana Barry

        I didn’t go until my 10 year – my 5 year, I had a family wedding. The 10 year was fine – not many people came, though, so I caught up with some people for a couple hours and then left. (Note, we are local so it was pretty easy.) 15th was pretty fantastic – even the kids had a good time!

    • Anonymous

      I thought that college reunions were a fall thing?

      Do schools with Memorial Day weekend reunions follow a pattern (Canadian / women’s / non-football / something else)?

      Our college graduated people around Mother’s Day, so it would be very still and almost abandoned now before summer session / summer camps start. I prefer to see it in action and with academic buildings / dorms in use.

      I went to a school that would involve 95% of its graduates having to brave I-95 to get to it, so we’d have 0 reunions if they were this weekend.

      • Anonymous

        My college has graduation and reunion the same weekend, usually in late May or early June. Northeast US, doesn’t fit into any of the categories you described except “non-football.”

        • Anonymous

          Wow — I went to school in a small college town-type place. We couldn’t do this — there would not be enough hotel rooms for everyone.

      • Anonymous

        DH’s undergrad has alumni weekend and reunions on the same weekend, usually early June. I think it’s a week or two after graduation.

      • Diana Barry

        My reunions and DH’s are right after commencement. Mine used to be in early June but has moved to Memorial Day weekend.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think my undergrad (large state U) has formal reunions because the classes were so large, but my law school has reunions in both fall and spring. I think the fall reunions are the 30+ classes and spring reunions are more recent. The spring one is mid-April for the law school, though I know the undergrad portion of the university does them Memorial Day weekend in conjunction with commencement. TL; DR–I don’t think there’s a set pattern that every school follows.

    • Hollis

      For law school graduates out there, I recommend skipping the 5th year but attending the 10th year. There was a huge shift in perspective in my class from the 5th year to 10th year as many people left firms and pursued jobs in different areas that spoke to them, some were marrried, some divorced, and some admitted that they wish they hadn’t spent so many of their waking hours at work. People talked a lot about the tradeoffs of working for a government position but needing to pay for kids’ schooling, etc. People were just a lot more humble, open and honest – even people who were arrogant in law school!

      • TBK

        I went to my 5th and had a blast, but skipped my 10th. I asked at my 5th which ones were most well-attended and the alumni people said that 5th and 15th and 20th were usually the biggest. Too many people have small children around the 10th! My kids were 18 mo. so it was just a big NO. But at my 15th, they’ll be 6, which will be a perfect time for a family get away to see mom’s school, catch a football game, and enjoy college town life.

    • Jen

      5 year college reunion was a big fun party; high attendance and we all picked up where we left off when we graduated. I was living with a college friend at the time, and engaged to my DH who I met in college. 10 year was fun in a different way, because we brought our kids (1 and 4), and so did a few of my college friends that I had not seen in years– as in, had never met their kids. 10 years was enough time that my college friends had drifted so it was great to catch up and day drink while a sober babysitter watched all of our littles (we kept them close, but we had an Official Responsible Party in charge of things, like remembering to feed them and change them). DH and I went to the same college, and a lot of the attendees were other “college couples”. or those that married into our college friend crowd.

      I went to my 10 year HS reunion and bailed pretty quickly. I skipped the 5 and haven’t hit the 15 yet, but will skip that too. I remained close to a handful of people from high school, and we are still in touch. We see eachother annually or so, so we don’t need a reunion for this. I have pretty low interest in meeting up with people I knew from the 90s that live nowhere near me and haven’t kept in touch.

      • Jen

        just kidding, apparently my 15 year HS reunion already happened. That’s how important it was to me- ha!

        • Shopaholic

          This just made me realize I missed my 10 year HS reunion. Like 2 years ago and I didn’t realize until right now. Clearly not that important to me either!

        • emeralds

          I ran into a high school classmate over the weekend and she asked if I was going to our 10-year reunion next weekend. I wasn’t invited, nor would I care to be.

          • TBK

            You have to be invited to HS reunions? That seems weirdly exclusionary. I thought they were open to all graduates. (My school doesn’t have them.)

          • Anonymous

            Not emeralds, but at my high school the reunions are informal and are organized by the students, not the school. The people who organized mine seemed to make it as inclusive as possible (it was advertised on social media heavily and they told everyone in the group to invite any classmates who hadn’t yet been invited), but I can easily see being left out if you don’t have facebook or if the organizers are clique-y people.

          • emeralds

            Well, I say invited, but I really meant “told the date, time, and location.” It’s definitely an informal thing through Facebook. Not sure who the organizers are, but my high school was clique-y as hell, hence why I don’t care about not having been invited. I already see the friends from HS that I want to see on a regular basis. There are a few people I wouldn’t mind catching up with, but not enough to inflict the entire nightmare on myself.

    • In Solidarity

      I also went to my college reunion this weekend. Was wonderful, and the first day back at work always is the worst. Reunions for my college are A Big Deal; everyone goes every year through their 5th and most East Coasters go every “major” year after that – i.e. all the fives – though there are people who go every year. They are always the three days preceding the three days of graduation. Guessing from some of the descriptions here, some of you may be fellow alumnae!

      • Tiger

        I’m definitely team #neveranoffyear. But I think that’s just because Princeton Reunions are so well run.

    • boola boola

      5 year felt like we hadn’t outgrown our senior year cliques. So we continued to talk to our small groups and party like we were 20.

      10 year was great. it was enough to grow up and reconnect with casual acquaintances, etc

  2. Charlottesville?

    Thank-you TJ: Thanks so much to all of you who provided recommendations on things to do in Charlottesville about a month ago! My trip was great and I can’t wait to go back. My friend and I loved every meal we had and everywhere we went was gorgeous. We relied heavily on your recommendations (to name a few: Downtown Mall, Bodo’s, wineries, Monticello, Paradox Pastry) and were not disappointed!

    • emeralds

      Hooray, I’m so glad you enjoyed your weekend! Cville is the best and I’m glad we’ve got another convert :)

  3. Anne Elliott

    I’m meeting b school gal pals this weekend….totally excited. We haven’t been together for almost 20 years!

  4. Golfing around

    I am being forced to attend a networking golf tournament and dinner tomorrow. It’ll be my first time playing golf. I’m scrambling to get “proper golf attire” together and planning to go to a driving range to hit some balls tonight. Beyond that, any tips?

    • Runner 5

      As a woman in business I’m sure you’ve got plenty accomplished at hitting balls! Good luck!

    • Anonymous

      Don’t push it too hard tonight. Even if you’re pretty fit, golfing works weird muscles that you don’t use very often. You will be SORE tomorrow if you hit an entire bucket of balls tonight.

      Just try to hit the ball once or twice and then pick it up. No one expects an inexperienced golfer to be able to play the entire time. Be sure to observe proper golf etiquette, laugh at yourself for being terrible at golf, and try to enjoy a day out of the office in hopefully nice weather.

      • Anonattorney

        Agree with this. Be completely relaxed, laugh at yourself, and let your group know this is your first time playing golf. It is completely fine for you to pick up your ball and walk to the rest of the group. I’ve noticed that no one expects anything from women golfers, so no one really cares if you’re not good. It’s more about being social and interesting, because there’s a lot of time for talking.

        Look into some basic golf etiquette — don’t talk when someone swings. Don’t move down the fairway toward the hole if other people still need to hit behind you. Don’t walk in someone’s “line” on the green (the imaginary line from their ball to the hole). Don’t take lots of practice swings. Don’t hit someone else’s ball. Spend 2 minutes tops (or even less) looking for your ball if you lose it. Just bring lots and lots of balls and be prepared to lose some.

    • Meg Murry

      Regarding “proper golf attire” – once you put on the clothes, do a variety of bending over, twisting, lifting your arms over your head, etc and see if/how much skin you flash (like between your shirt and shorts). If more than a tiny amount, consider layering a long tank top underneath.

      When on the course, be sure to drink plenty of water, especially if there is an drink cart with beer and/or booze – dehydration + alcohol means that a couple of drinks could hit you hard and fast.

  5. Anonymous

    How do you explain your absence (in this case for a half day) when youre interviewing? I just took a long vacation so I think people would not be pleased if I simply said I’m taking a vacation day.

    • Anonymous

      Just say you have an appointment and not give any details. Nobody has to know your business.

    • Betty

      Go with a vague appointment. If anyone pushes, say “dentist,” and leave it at that.

    • a

      Agree with “appointment” — if you feel to need to provide more info, I think a white lie of “dentist”, “dermatologist”, “doctor,” etc. are fine.
      When I’ve had an interview that comes up at a particularly bad time at work when my absence might be noted, I’ve also groaned to my secretary about it being a specialist appt that I can’t reschedule.

    • anon

      I’m not the OP, but this may come up for me soon. We are required to provide notes for medical appointments in order to have them excused, so how would you get around this?

      (I agree that it’s a wrong-headed policy. You only get three “misses” per year of sick time with no note. I’ve used them on the stomach flu and a relative’s hospital stay for which I forgot to get a note. Hardly playing the system.)

      • Thoughts

        Do you have to bring in justification for non-medical appointments? (Cable installation/repair; apartment maintenance team replacing air filters; etc) You would obviously need to be judicious, but personal appointments don’t always need to be medical.

      • Anonymous

        You might have to use vacation time. Can you make up an emergency home repair, car repair, or BFF whose cheating husband just walked out on her and needs you to hold her hand at a lawyer’s office? Something that you have to do during business hours, may require follow-up appointments, you won’t be able to get a note, and that came up at sort of the last minute.

  6. Anonymous

    Someone recommended Maggy London wrap dresses a few weeks ago and I just want to say thank you for the tip!! I bought one this weekend for an event and I felt fabulous. It’s the first time I felt like a dress was working with my curves instead of against them. Highly recommended!

  7. Edna Mazur

    Summer colds suck. It should be against all laws of nature to be wearing a swim suit and carrying a box of puffs plus with lotion. Just saying.

    • Cb

      Oh that’s the worst! I thought I was ill this weekend but it turned out to be allergies.

    • Ellen

      Yay Kat and Kate! This is a great Purple dress! I can’t wait to show the manageing partner! Mabye he will let me buy it b/c I onley have a few purple dresse’s!

      As for the OP, Hug’s! I got a summer cold also. I was at the Hamton’s all weekend, and did NOT have warm clotheing. Plus, the manageing partner made us go swimming in his pool (heated), tho it is cold with a bikini. More importantley, the manageing partner’s brother kept ooogeling me, even tho he lives in the same building as I do. FOOEY on him. He has been with so many women I can hear thru the wall that I would NEVER want to sleep with him. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      I am goeing to court tomorrow with 15 new cases. Fortunateley, I was busy copying and pasteing all of last week and those cases are all ready for trieal, in case the plaintiffs are bold enough to do so. Many want to settel, but the manageing partner says NEVER settel unless you plan to loose at trieal. I think he is right. We do take a risk, tho that if a case is good for the plaintiff, and we do NOT settel, that we will have to pay more, but that is the cost of doeing busness.

      I hope the HIVE had a nice holiday, but it is NOW back to work again for all of us. FOOEY! If I was MARRIED, I could just stay out at the pool, like Margie, but I would have warmer clotheing on this time. YAY!!!

        • Anonymous

          You mean you actually read her post enough to eye roll over it?

          I’m more of the opinion that comments about being annoyed by something that is easily ignored and of minimal impact is what is passe here.

        • Schmoopee

          Sorry, but we LOVE Ellen. There’s a little bit of Ellen in all of us and we look forward to finding, reading, and discussing her posts. She possesses a positive outlook on life even in the face of adversity, and she remains optimistic she will find a guy to marry notwithstanding multiple failures with dead end guys who do not measure up. If we didn’t have Ellen to look forward to, what would we be left with? A dour humerless existence, which is not what we want when we visit here. I suggest you read Ellenwatch if you fail to appreciate the beauty that is Ellen. Yay!

      • Edna Mazur

        Wow an Ellen reply. I feel like I’ve become officially initiated into this club.

  8. DivCu

    I’m wearing my Diva Cup for the first time today, and the stem is poking me. How short can I cut it? I’m already nervous about taking it out, and I’m worried I will cut it too short.

    • LawDawg

      In theory, you don’t need the stem at all, but it does make it easier to take out. When you cut, just remember that you can always cut more, but you can’t put any back. Make a small cut and try again. Repeat as needed.

    • Anonymous

      I cut mine right to the base (without cutting the actual cup). You don’t really need it to remove the cup.

      • reunions

        Yet, for some of us the stem is important for removal.

        Ask me how I know…..

        Agree with cutting just a little bit at a time, and perhaps inserting it a tad deeper.

  9. Anon

    A friend is getting married next weekend and this morning she sends me an email telling me — hey I’m getting married this weekend, I’m sooo sorry I didn’t invite you but you won’t know anyone there so I figured you wouldn’t want to come, esp. since mutual friend X (who got an invite but declined) won’t be coming; but I didn’t want you to be out of the loop in case you spoke to X.

    Uh –ok, thanks!? Why even send this email? We were the type of friends who talked/texted every day in our mid 20s. Then through a series of moves, new jobs etc., the communication dwindled though we see each other and/or chat 1-2 times/yr. I didn’t even know she was engaged, did not expect to be invited to a wedding by her ever given that we aren’t super close any more — so why make it SO clear that the only reason she’s telling me is so I don’t hear it from someone else?!

    The only time I’ve ever heard anyone mention why/how they chose guests — beyond a vague reference to “oh it’s a small wedding” or “it’s a destination” said to a “large” group of people like colleagues so no one would “expect” an invite.

    What am I supposed to say besides “congrats”? I don’t want to send a long gushy “OMG I’m soooo happy for you” email. Do I now need to get her a gift??

    • Jen

      “Congrats!” And you don’t have to get her a gift unless you somehow feel compelled. Sounds like not :)

    • Anonymous

      I would chalk this up to a frazzled bride who is anxious about offending anyone. Maybe someone (X?) said something to her about not inviting you, who knows. A simple, “No worries, congrats!” is a perfectly fine response. And no, don’t get her a gift. She likely didn’t invite you in the first place because she didn’t want to seem gift grabby.

      • CHJ

        +1

        I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s getting last minute comments from family/friends about “you didn’t invite [distant relative] and [long-lost friend]???” and is feeling anxious and guilty about it. I think “No worries, congrats!” is the perfect response. No gift needed.

    • Anondc

      I think a ‘congrats and enjoy your special day is all you need in my opinion. Maybe even throw in a ‘no worries’ since she is clearly worried you would be upset (a little odd shes emailing you the week before though…). I think she just has anxiety about not including people (people get super salty about this type of stuff) and doesnt want you to be upset.

      Also, i agree with ‘Anokha’ do NOT get her a gift.

    • Nope

      You definitely don’t need to get her a gift. Very strange (and paranoid?) of her to send that email, but she’s probably just overthinking it and, to give her the benefit of the doubt, didn’t want you to be upset (not that you would be) if you heard about the wedding.

      Do you even have to reply? Not replying might make her worry that you’re mad about it– do you care? Or, are you still friendly enough with each other that you don’t want her to get even more jittery about it than she clearly already is? You mentioned you don’t want to send an “I’m soooo happy for you email,” which makes me think maybe you just shouldn’t respond. Because really, the appropriate response is something like “Congrats! Thanks for letting me know– I’m happy for you and am sure it will be a beautiful day. Have fun!” If it feels disingenous to say something like that, maybe don’t say anything at all.

    • Meg March

      I’d keep it brief but civil. “I understand. Congrats and best wishes in this next step of your life.”

    • Anonymous

      No gift. Send a brief email, can be one or two sentences: “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you! Best wishes for you and __ as you enter this new stage of your lives.” If you feel compelled, and it’s true, you could add a sentence saying you’re not offended to be left off the guest list, but no need to say that if you don’t want to. I agree she probably sent that email in response to someone saying to her “OMG Anon isn’t invited!?!” Try to give her a pass. Her behavior is weird and even a little rude, but it’s the week before her wedding and she’s undoubtedly extremely stressed and frazzled.

      • Clementine

        Please give her the benefit of the doubt. Don’t send a gift, but a congrats email would be lovely.

        I (a really totally reasonable, calm, rational person under most circumstances) may have sent a similar email to old college friend when it was pointed out that I was literally getting married across the street from their office. On a Friday afternoon, even. I even told them to ‘stop by after work if they wanted’ roughly 48 hours before getting married…

        People really do say these little offhand comments that drive you bonkers and lead to bizarre emails/texts/phone calls that you later realize were just silly.

  10. Pep

    Just offer your congratulations and wish the happy couple the best. No gift necessary.

  11. Chelsea with a question

    The presidential election will be the first election ever that I am old enough to vote in. I’m not sure what to do though because I don’t like either of the candidates and am not going to vote for either one. I have no family and the only people I know who have voted before are people like my instructor and my boss and the people I work with, and I don’t feel comfortable asking them about this. What do people normally do in this situation? Do you suck it up and vote anyway? Vote for a third party? Or just not vote at all? Thank you to anyone who answers. I had nowhere else to ask and really appreciate it.

    • Cb

      Good for you for registering to vote and thinking critically about these issues. If you can’t bring yourself to vote for either of the main candidates, you can vote for one of the third party candidates or spoil your ballot. People are of two minds about this but generally, I think it’s a signal of dissatisfaction with the choices but engagement with the process so it’s better than abstaining completely.

      • Meg March

        I would leave it blank. But you should still go vote– the local representatives are usually on the same ballot, and your vote matters there too!

        • Susan B.

          +1 – the presidential candidates are only a small part of the ballot. Your congressional representatives will also have an impact on how the next 2-6 years go!

    • anony

      Generally, I will vote for whoever seems to me to be least likely to do serious damage if I don’t particularly love either candidate. Since I tend to be a liberal type, that usually but not always means the Democrat. But that’s not true in all races or all areas.

      Since this is your first time voting, why not spend an hour with a glass of wine acquainting yourself with the candidates in your area? Sometimes local and state elections are more interesting and have more impact on your day to day life than national ones.

      It’s also often worthwhile to watch the debates. If you give yourself permission to ignore the presidential race except for the debates, you can still glean enough information to feel like you’ve done your civic duty.

    • Same Boat

      I have no advice; just commiseration, as I am old enough to have voted in Presidential elections before and am still puzzled by what to do this time. No idea what people do in this situation, and no idea what I should do in November. I’m sorry this is happening during your first election as a voter.

    • CHJ

      I live in Massachusetts so my general election vote never matters, but there are a lot of other issues on the ballot worth voting on (local ballot measures, state reps, etc.). If you don’t like either candidate, you can always vote for a smaller party candidate (like Libertarian) or write-in a candidate. Although if you happen to live in Ohio or Florida, lemme know and we can swap votes. ;)

      • Anon

        I live in MA as well, and am always bummed that whether I vote or not has no impact on the pres election. but my sister just moved to Ohio and my brother just moved to Florida! So I am living vicariously through them.

        • Anonymous

          I grew up in Ohio but moved to Massachusetts for law school. I waited a looooong time to switch my voter registration.

          • Anonymous

            I lived in MA for 7 years during college and law school and never switched my voter registration from my home swing state.

    • Runner 5

      It depends on where you live. If your vote could actually count (ie you live in a swing state), vote for the candidate you hate less. If your vote doesn’t count, vote for your preferred tiny party or spoil your ballot.

      (I’m in the UK and voted in my first general election last May – I used the above logic to vote green as a protest vote)

    • POSITA

      If you’re in a swing state, I’d vote on the basis of judicial appointments. Who will be most likely to nominate judges that you’d support? Are you in the Scalia/Thomas/Alito/Roberts camp or the Ginsburg/Sotomayor/Kagan/Breyer camp?

      • TBK

        If you’re the type to like strict constructionist jurists, I don’t know that there’s any reason to think Trump likely to appoint any himself.

        • Anonymous

          He has praised Scalia a lot and indicated he would want to appoint that type of judge. Whether he would follow-through, who knows.

      • Maizie

        +1 for considering the judicial appointments even if you’re not in a swing state. Whomever the nation elects as our next President will be the person making Supreme Court Justice appointments.

        Sometimes we don’t get an ideal choice–we just have to vote for the person who we think will do the least damage. When I find myself in this position I tell myself that my vote for candidate X, about whom I feel “meh” is equally a vote _against_ candidate Y who inspires fear / terror / fury / or some other negative reaction.

        Also, + a gazillion to the commenters saying it’s not just the Presidential candidates, but everyone else up and down the ballot! Candidate Z may “just” be running for school board, but elected officials tend to move around from the school board to the county council or state legislature or mayor’s or governor’s office and then on to Congress or the Senate…

    • AIMS

      No vote is still a vote. Besides helping one or another candidate win, you are also influencing the amount of political capital the winner takes into office. And there are still local races that will matter. And honestly, even if you dislike both Hillary and Trump, I can’t imagine you don’t think who wins won’t make a big difference in this world. I know a lot of people made that argument in 2000 (i.e., per Nader, that the only difference between Bush and Gore was how fast they dropped to their knees for corporate interests) and I never found it persuasive then – and I think history would agree – but it really can’t be said to be true in this election at all. Also, if you’re frustrated by the major parties ignoring young people and the issues you care about, not voting is the worst thing you can do. If you want them to care, get involved and vote. If more young people reliably voted, we would have very different policies and gov’t priorities.

      • Anonymous

        +1 million. Unless we’re talking, like, Hitler vs. Stalin, I can’t imagine not thinking that one is dramatically worse, even if you think both are awful.

      • KM

        Well said! Whatever you think of them, Clinton and Trump are very, very different candidates with different sets of priorities.

    • Annie

      I’ve been in your situation several times. I know that a lot of people will say to hold your nose and vote for the lesser of the two evils (whichever that may be for you). I personally disagree with that advice, and I will write in the name of someone else. But I think that choosing to stay home and not vote is, for me, also better than casting a ballot for a candidate I don’t want.

      I have a few reasons. [1] By casting a ballot for someone, I am hoping to give that person power. I’m not going to vote to *hire* someone I think is terrible. I’m just not. [2] Also, if I vote for Candidate A, Candidate A will take my vote to be part of his or her mandate, that I want him or her to have power. And if that’s not the case, then I’m not giving that person my vote. Plain and simple. I remember a few years ago when the President I’d voted for said during the state of the union something like, “25 million Americans went to the polls and said that they all want XYZ.” That bothered me because I did not support XYZ. [3] Voting for one of the mainstream candidates if you hate them both just propagates the two-party system and allows one of the parties to think that they represent me. And, if I vote for someone and then he or she goes and does the things they promised, I can’t complain about it. So if I don’t like major parts of their platforms, I’m not voting for them.

      So, that’s why I vote the way I do. But really, the only advice I want to give you is to vote however you want to. I really do think that the right to vote for whomever you want without having to explain or justify it to anyone.

      • I don't get it

        I truly, truly do not understand people’s resistance to voting for a candidate they like *less* to prevent a candidate they think would be worse from being elected.

        I get that people don’t want to feel like they’re co-signing a person they don’t like. But by not voting, you risk letting someone truly terrible win the office. Isn’t that a demonstrably worse result? It seems like cutting off your nose to spite your face. It’s not like if enough people sit out the election, the powers that be will just up and say “oh the American people apparently didn’t like either candidate, so let’s just scratch the last year and start from scratch.” There’s no third option. I know you WANT a third option, but there’s not one.

        • Snick

          +1! Elections are about choices. You don’t actually have to “like” one of the candidate to vote for her (or him). Your job is to choose the candidate you think would do a better job fulfilling the duties of the office. Think of it as being like a hiring committee and you have two candidates for a job. One of them is going to get the job. Pick the best one.

    • Emmer

      First, note that regardless of your decision on whether or not to vote for President, there are going to be other candidates and possibly issues for you to vote for on the ballot this November. Take your time to research these other candidates and strongly consider voting, as they will have a big impact on your day-to-day life as well.

      For the office of President, like it or not, there is a 99.999% chance that either Clinton or Trump will get elected. Think about what this country and your life might look like under either administration. Anyone who tells you that they’re the same is absolutely wrong; they have very different policy proposals. Clinton will not be trying to push for a wall between the US and Mexico. Trump will likely not be appointing pro-choice Supreme Court justices. So take a look at the candidates’ platforms and see which world you would prefer to live in. You might also find media and social media to be informative, but note the strong biases that come with each source – e.g., Fox is always going to have a conservative bent, Facebook is full of crazy people from both sides, etc.

      • Emmer

        Sorry, I should have clarified that I don’t think you should HAVE to vote for the Democratic or Republican candidate if you really take a look at their policy positions and history of actions and decide that you don’t support either. But just make sure that that is a fully-considered position: i.e., you wouldn’t spend your time wishing that the Democratic or Republican losing candidate had won instead.

    • bridget

      First, get yourself to the polls even if you hate every single candidate on the slate. I feel very fortunate to live in a country and a time in which I can vote, so I do. It’s both a basic human right, and, often, a rare one.

      Down-ticket candidates matter. Even if you (like a lot of Americans) actively dislike both Presidential candidates, you are also voting for US Congress, and you are likely voting for US Senate, Governor, state representatives, state senators, and maybe even county-level seats. Those races often suffer when there aren’t strong people at the top of the ticket to increase turnout.

      As for the Presidential: you can leave it blank. (You can leave the entire ballot blank.) Third party (Jill Stein and Gary Johnson are both running), and voting third party helps those parties to cross the 5% threshold that gets them all sorts of perks in 2020. You can write in a name.

      From a political perspective, a win is important, but so is the margin of the win and the number of voters. A big win (popular vote-wise) looks like a mandate for the candidate and/or the candidate’s agenda; a narrow victory tells the person that there just is not a lot of political capital there. In this election cycle, it’s almost a certainty that the two candidates will each have a disapproval rating of over 50%, so I think it’s particularly important that the ultimate vote reflect that… and weaken the ultimate winner.

    • Chelsea with a question

      Thank you everyone for the answers, they are appreciated. I am learning so much just from the answers. I am hoping to learn about stuff like the supreme court and the other things that were mentioned in one of my classes but I don’t know if they teach that in GED classes. I don’t know anything about that now. If not I will ask my instructor and I will definitely be doing my own reading of the news before the election to figure it out.

      • Emmer

        I also really recommend listening to the NPR Politics Podcast and Five Thirty Eight’s election podcast. They offer relatively unbiased opinions on what’s going on in the election and how to interpret what you hear from other media sources.

      • WestCoast Lawyer

        I also highly recommend smartvoter dot org. You can find out exactly what candidates and measures will be on your ballot, and they provide links to lots of good information including candidate statements and analysis and pro/con positions on any ballot measures you will be asked to vote on.

    • Alanna of Trebond

      I got to meet the woman I hope is our future President today. Feel free to vote for her. :-)

  12. Anonymous

    Could someone with a clothing spreadsheet email it to me?

    houstonian101@ g m a i l . c o m.

    I would be super grateful!!

  13. FP

    Okay, weird work situation here. My kid and husband get back from their vacation today, and I mentioned to my (new) boss that I’d like to leave a bit early to pick them up from the airport. I thought she said “no, not today,” but then she said “that should be fine” after talking through the things we had going on this afternoon. I now have no idea whether she thinks I am planning to do this, and have gotten her permission, or whether I asked and she said today’s not a good day. Obviously wouldn’t go if I didn’t have my projects covered for that period of time, but I’m in a good place with the stuff I’m working on. Asking was awkward anyway, because new job, so I am now completely at a loss as to how to ask. I think it would look terrible to ask again, like “are you sure??” if she said no. But if she said yes, I need to know! Silly dilemma but I’m taking suggestions!!

    • emeralds

      “Hey boss, to confirm, I’ll be leaving at X:00PM to pick up my family from the airport. As we discussed, I have Y covering my responsibilities while I’m out, and I plan to have project Z wrapped up before I leave.”

      You know you’re overthinking it. She said yes after you talked it through.

    • banana

      I’d just be straight with her: “I’m not sure where exactly we left this. Am I ok to leave a little early today? I completely understand if today isn’t a good day to take off early and I certainly don’t want to leave you in a bind.”

    • lawsuited

      I think I’d pop my head into her office about 30 minutes before I needed to leave for the airport and say “I’m planning to leave for the airport in half an hour or so. I’ve done X and Y. Is there anything else you need before I leave?” then read her reaction.

      • Anonymous

        This is exactly 100% the right answer.

        If a new employee came in to say she was confused what the answer was after discussion, I’d have concerns.

        • Pesh

          Yes, exactly this. Asking her to clarify will make too big a deal out of leaving early. Go at this from a confident standpoint. She will correct you if you misunderstood.

        • Anon

          Hmm, I disagree. Given the conversation you described, even if she did clearly land on “yes,” she had said no initially and then you’d discussed – so I think it would be pretty unreasonable for her to have concerns about you for clarifying. Personally I’d go with banana’s formulation because, on the off-chance you misunderstood and in her mind she definitely told you not to go, she’ll likely find the “hey I’m leaving” formulation off-putting. I’d find it more awkward to go that route and be told, in response, “what? I already said you can’t leave.”

    • Baconpancakes

      “When we were going over the day’s tasks and I asked about leaving early to pick up my family, I missed what you said, can you repeat it?”

  14. Anonymous

    Paul Green shoes – I found a pair of black D’orsay flats at the Rack this weekend. They are perfect in every way except I don’t know the brand personally and they were more than I typically pay – $195 marked down from $295. Any thoughts on quality and whether I’ll regret this purchase?

  15. In-house anon

    I am looking for advice on legal career options. Apologies for the length!

    By leveraging some work experience and really lucky timing I went in-house directly from law school, making average salary for a midsized firm in my small-ish city. The organization is a non-profit, my student loans are on IBR and I hope to take advantage of Public Service Loan Forgiveness. My practice is interesting and challenging but the environment is not good; everyone is unhappy and overworked and a lot more senior, so I often feel adrift when I have questions and there is no commitment to professional development. It is quicker for the other attorneys to just do themselves anything that would be a stretch for me, and they delegate only the easy or odd questions. In situations when I need help (and I am extremely sensitive to the demands on their time, so I try not to pester), I have spun my wheels a lot because I can’t get any time with them to provide needed background or assistance. Lately I’ve been quicker to ask to use outside counsel and that has at least helped me get through my day a little easier, but I often feel confused, isolated, and anxious that I am not doing a good job. To complicate things, I am recently returned from maternity leave, and my boss has been cold to me and made a couple of comments about my ability to juggle being a mom and working.

    So, I’ll try not to go into a lot more detail, but my concern is: if I wanted to get another job as a lawyer, what could I even do? I am almost three years in. I don’t have a book of business or anything to offer a law firm, nor am I sure that would be a good fit, as I have never stepped foot in one. I have thought about trying to transition to the business side or administration in academia (keeping non-profit status is almost a necessity, with my loans), but there aren’t many opportunities available. I also think I like being a lawyer, and some days I think I’m a good one. I hate to give it up.

    I keep arriving at the conclusion that I just can’t leave (at least not before PSLF is killed or I get to 10 years), because there is nothing else I could do that uses my education, experience, and license, while allowing me to pay my student loans. I’m really unhappy, though, and I don’t think my boss has any or much confidence in me. I try to focus on what is good about where I work, to feel grateful that I have a job (one that is fairly hard to get), keep my head down, put in a good effort, and hope it will get better as I continue to learn and get more experience. I’ve also read a lot of Ask A Manager in the last few weeks and plan to try to address what I know are some of my weaknesses in interactions with my boss.

    Thoughts? Can someone tell me to suck it up? I tell myself that all the time but it would be helpful to hear from an objective source. Or is anyone aware of some avenue available to someone in my position that I’ve not considered? Thanks in advance, for any advice and for this space. I don’t feel that I can complain to any of my colleagues or my friends, because I don’t want to seem that I don’t have any perspective or that I’m ungrateful.

    • TBK

      Can you identify some specific areas where you’d like to strengthen your skills, then go to your boss and either say that you’d like to improve these skills and so you’d like to be assigned the next X that comes in, or say you’d like to improve these skills and can s/he suggest ways to get that kind of experience? I know you said they’re not interested in professional development, but c’mon you’re offering to make yourself more valuable. Also, can you do any CLE or other classes that would boost your expertise in areas relevant to your practice?

      • In-house anon

        My past experience trying this has not gone very well–he couldn’t remember my work enough to provide any feedback, but I was able to compare what I provided to his deliverable that I found in our files, determining what I did well and what I missed. He didn’t route anything else of that nature to me, but I also didn’t remind him to. In another matter he never even opened my redline and just provided his own response. A coworker has said that he is notoriously bad about delegating his work and not to take it personally, so I have that reassurance I guess.

        I have done some CLEs, but my boss has said repeatedly that it’s difficult to learn our practice area by reading, that I will only really learn by doing. That said, I’ve been seeking out more resources and studying at night, and I try to stay up on industry news/implications for our work.

        I also haven’t posed your general question to him–asking for his ideas on how I can get more experience. That’s a good idea. I can’t say definitively that I’ve done all I can do, which would help me feel more justified in leaving, I think. (And it could help reputation-wise–going to a local firm may not be much of an option if my boss would not recommend my work.) Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      I would definitely try to go to a firm. A third year is not expected to bring any business. I think you have a lot to offer a firm, and many firms actually find people who have in-house experience very desirable because you know how clients think, you’re familiar with billing (which is something most junior associates know nothing about), etc. My former firm hired two just for our group during the four years I was there. These associates both ended up being highly successful at the firm. You need a confidence boost! Brand new law firm associates don’t have anything that you don’t have, and you have a lot of skills and experience that they don’t. Law school has taught you how to do many things a junior associate does (like research and brief-writing) and you will quickly learn how to do other tasks like document review. And your years of in-house experience will definitely be an asset.
      I would expect to lose a year or so of seniority, i.e. you might come in as a second year rather than a third year. But that’s very common when moving laterally.
      PS. I don’t think you should just “suck it up” – your situation sounds pretty miserable and I hope you find something else soon, whether it’s a firm or another in-house gig.

      • Two Cents

        I absolutely agree. 3 years is plenty of time and you sound miserable. I think the biggest mistake would be waiting this out for 10 years. A 3rd year is still pretty junior and assuming your grades were good, you would be attractive to a law firm. You won’t know if you don’t try, certainly.

        As for the current job, how have your performance reviews been? Do you think there is any danger of getting laid off? If so, all the more reason to look aggressively.

        • In-house anon

          My reviews have all been good, meeting expectations. I also “exceeded expectations” in some areas on my last review and I haven’t received any negative feedback verbally or in writing, so he doesn’t really have the documentation to let me go.

          I don’t think there is much danger of getting laid off at this point, but I absolutely sense that he thinks I’ve been phoning it in during my pregnancy and afterward. It’s not true and it’s not fair, but I think I need to change his perception if I want to stay and continue to have good reviews.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. Even if you get a year’s worth of haircut, it sounds like moving to a firm could be a whole lot better than your position now.

        • FP

          Get out. You’re still very portable. Could you go to a different nonprofit? It sounds like you’re not getting any teaching or mentoring, which is critical at your stage of practice. Or I agree that you could easily find a firm job. What about government? Still eligible for repayment!

          Also, hugs. I found the books “Great on the Job” and “How to Be Useful” very helpful when I was in similar shoes.

          • In-house anon

            I knew when I took the position that there would not be a great deal of teaching or mentoring–it is in-house, everyone is busy, etc. This is why many people don’t go in-house directly from law school, of course. It is worse than I expected, though. I am encouraged to hear that I might have more options than I thought.

            And I appreciate the hugs! I will check out those books. Thank you.

    • Peach Pye

      Leave.
      It does not sound as if being in-house at this stage of your career is a good fit for you. As you have pointed out, generally in house positions are a better fit for more experienced attorneys and it sounds like you are not in the right place for this phase of your life. You could always transition to in house again later in life once you have more experience.

    • ChiLaw

      I agree that you may very well be a good fit in a firm. A third-year with real client experience would be a gem! Is there any chance the increase in $ could make up for the fact that you wouldn’t be eligible for loan forgiveness?

      On the other hand, I wonder if transferring to another in-house opportunity might be good. Again, could the salary increase that would come from switching to a for-profit business lessen the sting of losing loan forgiveness?

      Are you a member of the Association of Corporate Counsel (ACC)? If not, you should be! They have good programs for the “new to in-house” set and very targeted CLE for in-house attorneys. I’ve done some intensive courses with them and got some really helpful information (for my in-house not-for-profit position). My boss is a great guy, but not very hands on in terms of training me, but he really supports my seeking outside education and speaks highly of the resources he’s accessed through ACC. It also has a website with job postings that might be useful, and through its networking events you might be able to connect with other lawyers in a similar position. #NotAnAdISwear!

      • In-house anon

        Transitioning to for-profit may be possible financially. I’d have to run some numbers. My husband’s income is driving up my IBR payment, anyway–I just kicked off a new yearly period with a reassessed payment based on last year’s AGI and the payment is not that much lower than it would be under a standard repayment plan. And that’s at my current interest rate, which is at least 7%. I am not sure it’s wise to stay here for a potential write-off, especially if I still dislike it in seven more years. As a previous poster said, I could have even fewer options available to me at that point. Continuing to think longer term, I’m almost certain that my salary here over the next ten years would not exceed the very low 100s. Staying seems safe and conservative, but it may not be.

        I’m a member of our industry counsel organization, but not ACC (I think my boss is a member of both). I will look into membership. Thanks for the recommendation.

  16. Betterandbetter

    Exception to the “Don’t go to Law School!” Rule? I graduated in college in 2008 and aside from a brief stint in AmeriCorps have basically been a Federal litigation paralegal ever since- so I know what the work is like and honestly don’t mind (and sometimes actively like) legal grunt work like cite checking into the wee hours when there is a briefing schedule and really love research and writing but don’t get to do much of it because of my position. I know not to go unless I can go really inexpensively and I know if I really want BigFed to go to a T14 to give me the best shot. I have a couple of concerns about pulling the trigger 1) I have a Fiancé that has a non portable job in the city so we would either have to be long distance or I would have to get into one of 3 T6 schools in commuting distance with a scholarship (pretty unlikely with my GPA – a 3.4- but not completely outside the realm of possibility) OR start the first few years of marriage as long distance and 2) even if I get in with money am I going to be spending an entire career feeling 10 years behind everyone else?

    Fiancé is 100% supportive and we don’t plan to have children so that’s not a concern except that I hate to ask her to make the sacrifice to support me in this if I am just going to spend my entire career feeling just a little bit (or a lot a bit) inadequate.

    • CHJ

      I don’t think (2) is an issue. These days, a lot of people are taking time before law school to work, so you won’t be an outlier in that regard. You might have more in common with the other students who didn’t go straight from undergrad, but there will be enough people in your shoes that it won’t be a problem.

      On the location front, if your fiance really needs to be in a specific city, I think going to school near that city will be key. The alumni network will be a lot stronger and you’ll have an easier time getting a summer job in that city. I wouldn’t do 3 years of long distance for anything other than H/Y/S, and I certainly wouldn’t prioritize scholarship money at a lower-ranked school outside your region over going to the best local school you get into.

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, you sound like an exception to that rule.
      Re: #1, I started my marriage long-distance (cross-country) and can vouch that it was not fun or easy but it was definitely worth it. I would plan to apply to all the top schools in your area, as well as ones outside of your area, and follow the money.
      I can’t address #2, but I don’t think you’ll feel 10 years behind. If anything, I think you’d feel ahead with paralegal experience. Being 10 years older than everyone else might make things awkward socially (although at my law school the older students seemed perfectly happy and fit in well) but I can’t imagine you’d feel behind once you start practicing. You’ll be judged based on your class year, not on your age, and for your class year you’d have a ton of experience.

    • Aurora

      You sound like an exception–I was as well. I worked before law school in a law-adjacent position and my favorite part of the work was the writing, following the docket, and nitpicky cite checking, and I didn’t mind being up at all hours, so by the time I went to law school, even though everyone on the internet was saying “don’t go to law school,” I was confident in my choices and I’ve never regretted it for a second. I was also married before law school and found that, while I occasionally felt weird that I wasn’t part of the fresh out of college party scene, I found many great long-lasting friendships and never felt too out of place. In terms of location, I applied early decision to a good school in my area, since my husband doesn’t have a lot of geographic flexibility with his work. I got accepted, networked and studied hard, got a job in my area, and now really like my life and my career.

      As others have said, I don’t think you’ll feel 10 years behind – given your work and life experience, you’ll probably feel ahead in a lot of ways, and many of your peers will eventually also switch jobs or careers, so don’t let someone else’s schedule stop you. In terms of location, I do think it’s pretty important to go to a school in the area you eventually want to work, so definitely try to apply to the schools near your fiance if you can. Don’t forget for financing you can get partial student loans – it’s not ideal but it’s doable, especially since your fiance is supportive. I say go for it!

      • Betterandbetter

        Thanks all. I feel like I may as well try but needed a confidence boost. Aurora’s experience sounds like something I wouldn’t mind replicating!

        • Aurora

          Yay and good luck! If you have any other more specific questions, feel free to email me (theofficerblog at gmail).

  17. Anon

    More wedding etiquette question: an old friend emailed me and two other friends asking for our addresses for the purpose of sending us wedding invitations. I gave her my address and told her that I already booked alternate plans that same weekend and couldn’t make it. I never received an invitation, but the other friends did. I’m assuming it was because I already told her that I couldn’t make it. But do I send a gift regardless?

    • Anonymous

      I was in the same boat (I got a save-the-date, told the bride and groom I’d be out of the country that weekend and would be thinking of them and never received an invite). I found it a little off-putting, to be honest, but I’m still planning to get them a card and a small gift. I tend to give something worth $25-50 if I don’t attend the wedding and something worth $100-$150 if I do.

      • Anonymous

        Honest question- why was it off-putting not to get an invitation if the couple knew you couldn’t make it?

        • Anonymous

          I’m just kind of traditional when it comes to wedding stuff, and I believe if you send someone a save-the-date you should send them an invitation even if they “decline” the save-the-date. I’m also pretty insecure when it comes to social stuff and when I didn’t get the invite I wondered if I had somehow offended or upset them. I know that is crazy and irrational and they didn’t send me an invite because I declined the save-the-date, but that is where my neurotic brain went.
          Like I said, I will still get them a gift. I know they had good intentions (probably trying to avoid looking gift-grabby) and they are good friends.

    • banana

      I’d send a gift. Your old friend is getting married – it’s a huge deal for her and I’m sure she’d appreciate an acknowledgement of it. And I agree with you, you didn’t get an invitation because you told her you’d decline.

      • Anon

        I wouldn’t send a card without a gift. She’ll think it had a giftcard that fell out or was forgotten, and she’ll be confused. Then she won’t know whether it’s ok to ask you about it, and she won’t ask, and she’ll always wonder if you forgot to include the gift or if you purposely sent a card without a gift. I don’t think you can be upset with her for not sending an invitation that you already told her you’d decline.

        • Anonymous

          Really? If someone mails me a card, I would expect it to be just as it arrives (with no gift/money attached), unless there was a note to the opposite effect inside the card. I wouldn’t expend the extra energy trying to determine what, if anything, I was getting short-changed on – I’d just be happy to see the acknowledgement.

          I don’t think you have to feel pressure to send a gift/money if you just want to acknowledge the event, for fear of being confusing toward someone else’s expectations.

        • Anonymous

          I think this is a really weird response. I give and receive cards all the time without any money in them and I would never think that the money got lost (unless the card said “treat yourself to something nice!” or something that suggested there was money enclosed). You can congratulate someone with a card, without a gift! The bride will assume you wanted to mark the occasion with a card, but you didn’t get her a gift, which is exactly the case.

        • Cards

          Maybe it’s regional. In this area, at least, you either send a wedding gift or you don’t send anything. But people do send birthday cards, a card at Christmas, etc. without a gift, all the time– it’s just weddings that are different. We invited 500 people to our wedding (this was much more for our parents than for us, long story), but of the 500 invitees, not a single one sent a card without a gift.

      • Anon

        I assume this isn’t a super close friend since you’re skipping the wedding, so don’t send a gift if you’re not so inclined – you are of course under no obligation to give anyone gifts, ever. That said, I wouldn’t let the invitation thing be the decisive factor. I think it’s unreasonable to hold it against someone that, after you SAID you wouldn’t go, they didn’t send you an invite anyway. Even if that’s some sort of sacrosanct etiquette rule, I think it’s petty to withhold a gift for that reason. She sent you the save-the-date–she wanted you at her wedding–and you said no, which was of course your right. I assume you don’t want to send a gift, since you wouldn’t bother asking the question otherwise (obviously there’s no etiquette rule that you can’t send someone a wedding gift unless you’re invited to their wedding, or oh my god is there?) so don’t, that’s perfectly fine.

  18. Legal Career Coach

    Can anyone recommend a career coach in Chicago who specializes in helping lawyers. I was in Biglaw for 7 years, was promoted to partner and then left about a year and a half ago for an in house position at a large company. The in house position has not been what I had hoped. Now I need some help on figuring out next steps – do I try to go back into private practice? leave the law altogether? go in house at a different company in the hopes of a different culture/experience?

    • Anon

      Can someone recommend the same kind of career coach for DC — similar but different situation. Biglaw for 8 yrs; didn’t make partner; went to the gov’t and now want out. Thanks.

    • Anon

      Not in your market, but The Lawyer Whisperer is a goddess (google it) and likely has addressed your exact situations. You can definitely email for referrals outside of SF. Her blog is akin to AAM for attorneys and is great.

    • Amy H.

      Michael Melcher. He is in CA, I believe, but works with coaching clients across the country.

  19. Litigation

    For those of you who used to be litigators but have changed careers, what do you do now? How did you find a non-litigation position?

    • First Year Anon

      Curious about this too- both people who transitioned in law and out of law!

    • Anon2day

      Interested as well (how many of us are litigators who had their Memorial Day weekend ruined by never-ending litigation emergencies…?). Has anyone moved to a solo transactional practice?

      • DBD

        Why do litigators think transactional practices are less busy? At my firm, the litigators go home at 6, and the transactional lawyers are at the office until 2am.

        • Litigator

          I’m a litigator who thinks transactional practices are less busy because the transactional attorneys at my firm tell me so.

          • Anonymous

            This is going to be highly firm dependent. At my firm, the litigators are the ones feeding off the transactional group to stay afloat, and are far less busy.

    • Anon for this

      I was in a boutique litigation area (think, labor and employment) and transitioned to an in-house role. I manage litigation here (not just L&E work), and I also provide legal guidance on specifically L&E issues. I think this is an easier transition if you have a specialty that is transferable to counseling a business.

    • Totes Anon

      My friend from law school suggested I join their transactional group, which was short-staffed at the time, and I took a cut in years, but love what I do now. I do securities and corporate governance in biglaw.

  20. personal loan

    Have any of you taken out a personal loan in the range of $10k? What are the best companies/options? Long story short, my husband didn’t realize that his FAFSA did not cover his entire grad school tuition until it was too late, and now he owes around that much to the university due asap.

    • jen

      i think SoFi does personal loans in some states. We found them very fast and easy to work with for consolidation.

    • Anon

      I did it. I got a personal loan from Digital Credit Union and used my car as collateral so that I can get 2.25% interest rate for $12000. I had a good credit history. The process was very easy. I live in CA and they have no offices here. So everything was done on phone and took less than a week to get the cheque. Without the collateral, interest rates were around 9%.
      I checked in Wellsfargo as well where I have my salary account, they never mentioned about the collateral option and the interest rates was 13.5%. So it was an easy choice for me.

  21. Bewitched

    I’m not convinced of the “never go to law school” argument anyway (I would rephrase to say, go with eyes wide open about the amount of debt you will have and the salary or sacrifices you will have to make to repay it). With that bias revealed, I’d say if you don’t want to be a federal litigation paralegal forever, you should go to law school. This assumes, of course, that you are comfortable with the debt. If you don’t go, you may be a federal litigation paralegal (or similar) forever. Good luck with the decision!

  22. ohc

    You guys are usually excellent with gift ideas for one’s own wishlist—hoping you can help me offer paper-themed suggestions to my husband on what to get me for our first anniversary. We trend towards making sure that gifts are appreciated rather than making sure gifts are surprises, so a wishlist is definitely in order!

    Some additional scope:
    We have already framed all the wedding photos that we want, and we had a self-uniting ceremony so have a beautiful framed marriage certificate, too. Also, I already have my own stationery, and a few years ago I unironically asked for a file cabinet as a gift (and received it!).

    My gift for him is partly but not entirely paper (business cards, branding, and a website for his hobby-turned-side hustle)—I guess we are fine with less-traditional manifestations of the traditional paper gift, but we do like hewing to that framework.

      • anon-oh-no

        For our first anniversary, my husband got me a framed page out of a vintage book from some cool bookstore in New York. The page had an illustration of my favorite location in the city. I still have it up in my office and love it.

    • Runner 5

      How about beautiful collectors hardback editions of some of your favourite books?

      • lawsuited

        If you’re planning to have children, then hard copies of your favourite children’s books to read to your own children (or nieces and nephews or whatever other children enter your life). I was not born and raised in North America, so my husband tracked down some pretty unusual books that I loved from my childhood, and had a lovely old book of fairytales than my grandfather read to me rebound. It was a really touching gift.

    • Newlywed

      We just celebrated our first anniversary this past weekend (yay!). We went away for the weekend to celebrate as our gift to each other. To honor the ‘paper’ tradition, husband and I exchanged handwritten love letters on our trip. Sure, it takes some of the surprise element out of the gift, but we were able to save money for our getaway and we’ll both have a little keepsake from our first anniversary to look back on.

    • Amy H.

      I love all the suggestions above too . . . will add, depending on your hobbies/interests:
      Travel guidebooks and maps for wherever you’d like to go next;
      Adult coloring books plus nice gel pens;
      Sketchbook and watercolors;
      Sheet music;
      Hiking/backpacking maps;
      Subscriptions to 5-10 of splurgy magazines that you’d never get for yourself (could range anywhere from People/Entertainment Weekly to Architectural Digest/Wine Spectator);
      First edition or signed edition of a favorite book (or the new artist’s version of the first Harry Potter book, which is very cool);
      Actual paper printed tickets to something — Hamilton, Book of Mormon, rock concert, opera, etc.!

      • Amy H.

        P.S. If you like food and cooking I highly recommend Lucky Peach (for a subscription).

  23. Kiki

    I don’t want to get too specific but what do you consider a “good” salary for a 40 year old professional with 15 years experience (time off for kids) in a high cost of living area?

    • Monte

      I would need so many more details — married? Spouse’s income? If no spouse, alimony/child support? Any family support? Savings pre-kids? House to support? Kids’ ages? Ongoing educational costs for said kids? Or need for nanny/daily care before school costs even kick in?

      There is no one good salary. Or rather, there is no low end number that is universal. (There is certainly some high number that rational people will agree is enough to support your family.) I grew up with family making a fraction of the salaries that are common here, and we were ok, certainly with regard to college financial aid — and my college education was my mother’s most important role.

      So what are you trying to gauge?

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