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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Straight-Leg Wool Pants

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Purple wool pants featuring a streamlined straight-leg cut.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Purple pants? Yes, please. We’ve talked in the past about our wardrobe workhorses, and I think I’d have to add the dark purple ankle pants that I wear at least three times a month to the list. They’re similar in color to this pair from Eileen Fisher, and I’ve found them to be surprisingly versatile. They go just as well with a camel blazer and ivory top, a black turtleneck, or, on more daring days, a light purple sweater. The color is just enough to be fun, but not so bright that it will shock your more conservative colleagues.

The pants are $228 at Nordstrom and come in sizes XXS–XL; they're also available in plus sizes.

Sales of note for 3/26/25:

  • Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

306 Comments

  1. Oof. I used to always botch the landing with how I hemmed my pants when I first started working. I am on the shorter side, so outside of wearing 3″ heels with pants off the rack, I had to hem them. I often would up with something like this (or worse).

    But in 2022, is this really what people are doing?

    1. no, def not, this hem demonstration is tragic. Either needs to be shorter so obviously intentionally cropped, or longer to break at the top of the shoe…

    2. I always assume that when they’re doing photoshoots for work pants like this, they aren’t finessing pants length and model height, making sure they have pants hemmed long enough for the model they hired. So I wouldn’t use a clothing photo like this as an indicator of how things should be worn.

      That said, yes, many pants are now hemmed somewhat shorter in order to showcase the shoes. Wearing pants hemmed like that with non-descript shoes like this is (in my opinion) not a good look.

    3. I am very passionate about Perfect Pant Length. I think there was a post on You Look Fab about that years ago. I WFH and even before that worked in a very un-fashionable office so I have no idea what is on trend lately. I don’t care if the above is what is in for 2022, b/c it looks awful.

    5. I think they would look better slight shorter with a different shoe. The shoe choice is particularly frumpy.

    7. If you click the plus size length, you’ll see a more reasonable hemming. But the shoes are still a mistake IMO

  2. It’s probably pretty late in the season for reservations anywhere, but suggestions for a New Year’s road trip from Baltimore/DC. I just realized I don’t really want to be in town for NYs with the family obligations that it represents. My kids are grown and flown, so it’s just dh and myself. We are lazy, old, don’t particulary care about an actual NY Eve experience, but would like decent food, something interesting to do NY’s eve day and NY’s day. We like beaches, cities, and are pretty adaptable. One issue is that we are still fairly covid conscious, so aren’t looking for anything crowded, but don’t mind eating at odd times to avoid crowded dining or what not.

    1. I would always go to Myrtle Beach b/c those people love their fireworks. Most rentals have outdoor spaces. A lot of restaurants have crazy high ceilings or can go outdoors with a fire pit and / or heaters. Yes, there is a heavily tattooed crowd down there. But there will be a ton of restaurants and as crowded as it is in the summer, it really isn’t off-season and any crowds can be easy to get away from.

      You can go somewhere fancier (Savannah / Charleston), but Myrtle Beach will have a good and free show for you. And there is always Miami. See where you can get cheap flights.

      Also, the Cavalier in Va Beach is nice and might have some availability. The ships there are so huge. That to me is always interesting to see. You could drive there.

    2. your goals are kind of at odds with each other – places within reasonable road-trip distance from DC for a long weekend aren’t going to be warm enough that it’s easy to stay open-air and dine outdoors. Maybe look at Palm Beach? People on those planes tend to be older, more Covid-cautious, etc. and there’s plenty to do and plenty of pretty patio seating.

        1. well, no, but the good city restaurants are usually packed over the holidays – unless the OP is looking at early-bird special times, they will be in a crowd if indoors.

          2. No she didn’t. Go away with your COVID denialism

            “ One issue is that we are still fairly covid conscious, so aren’t looking for anything crowded, but don’t mind eating at odd times to avoid crowded dining or what not.”

          3. I think Sybil meant OP was fine with eating at weird times like early bird specials, since she said that in her post. I didn’t read it as Covid denialism at all.

          4. Yes, I meant she said she was fine eating at odd times. What a strangely hostile response.

      1. This isn’t a bad idea. It may book up fast, but we have rented a small cottage there so that we had one door to the outside and weren’t sharing walls. It was lovely.

      2. Williamsburg is another place with lots of different types of lodging, so you can probably find a separate house or lodge if you don’t want to use a hotel due to COVID. You can walk around colonial Williamsburg (no ticket required if you don’t go in any of the exhibits), which is lovely at Christmastime. I’m not sure how much outdoor dining exists, but there are lots of takeawy meals (or room service if you get a separate cabin at one of the lodges).

        1. As of last weekend there was outdoor dining still open at Berrett’s Seafood, the Amber Ox, and the Mellow Mushroom. Berrett’s may or may not close its outdoor bar by Christmas but the Amber Ox and Mellow Mushroom spaces seem to be year-round without plastic curtains. Precarious Beer Hall off of Duke of Gloucester Street, Illy Coffee, and Aromas (coffee and lunch) have year-round outdoor tables. If you get takeout there are a bunch of outdoor tables permanently set up on DOG Street.

          There is usually an outdoor synthetic ice rink on DOG Street during the holidays.

    4. I have done Rehoboth Beach a few times for NYE. It’s very quiet, and pretty cheap to get a condo that overlooks the ocean. I’m not sure what constitutes “interesting,” but I love the beach in winter.

      Alternatively, go to Nemacolin for the decorations and spa, and just eat super early or in your room.

      1. Rehoboth is nice — very walkable and it’s hard not to have a view of the water.

    5. I had friends who went on a road trip to Nashville and Memphis at that time and loved it. I don’t drive so not sure what the logistics are from DC but they drove from NYC and I can’t imagine it’s worse.

    6. I went to Richmond a few years ago and really liked it. Lots of good restaurants and beautiful outdoors things, like gardens and sculpture parks.
      Pittsburgh is also not far and very fun.

    7. It would be quite a drive, but we went to the Florida panhandle (Miramar Beach) during the last two pandemic winters, and felt very safe even though it’s not a Covid cautious area. The beaches are beautiful, there are lots of Airbnb/VRBOs to rent, and the weather is warm enough for year-round outdoor dining.

  3. I remember reading an article within the past year that millenials weren’t using financial advisors b/c they couldn’t get them into good crypto investments fast enough. And that got me to thinking — is there crypto “investing”? I guess I see it as just speculating with another type of currency (could be the ruble, could be the won), which is something I guess you can make $ doing if you devote yourself and a lot of $ to it and can predict the future a bit. But as a generic random person, I don’t see how you could make $ on that (unless you are always buying low and selling high, which is what we all wish for).

    I feel like I am just missing something (or did people just not like having old fogeys say not to do it)?

    1. I think the more likely scenario is that a lot of millenials don’t have enough liquid investable assets for traditional financial advisors and mostly invest in 401ks through work (or small amounts here and there) and hope for the best. I feel very, very fortunate to have my loans paid off, own a home, and funds set aside for retirement but so much of that was by virtue of avoiding the ’08/’09 layoffs and being lucky enough to have worked for firms with pension plans (which is super uncommon!). My parents owned a home at 28/29 – almost nobody I know was able to buy at those ages unless they came from generational wealth (I count having parental help with a downpayment as generational wealth) – if you’re in that tax bracket you likely also have advice/access to a more traditional financial advisor.

      1. Interesting. I think we are about the same age- i graduated college in 2006. I bought a house in 2010, in the Boston area (so not LCOL). I was married in 2009. We didn’t get family money for a down payment or have crazy big jobs.

        I had undergrad debt but DH didn’t. We saved up for a 5% down payment and got a mortgage with PMI.

        I guess part of it is that the rents were (are) so high in Boston that when we took what we were spending on rent and looked at mortgage payments it wasn’t much different. I think we had been paying $1700/mo for a one bedroom and our mortgage with PMI was $2400. House cost ~$400k.

        We did nothing to it and sold it 5 years later for $520. We got really lucky that we bought at the low end of the market (even though it meant a tighter budget and PMI).

        1. I guess I will add to this that it’s not just cash that’s different between you & your parents. I think millennials marry later. Sounds like your parents were married and owned a home at 28/29. I married “young” at 26/27 which meant that even though neither of us had huge jobs, we had a combined HHI > 100k (barely) at 28.

      2. I think there are a couple of things in play here but I doubt crypto is a major factor:

        (1) Millennials as a group have much less accumulated liquid wealth than Baby Boomers/Gen X’ers.
        (2) Retirement creates a whole new set of issues that some people prefer to have managed by a professional. I am Gen X and am perfectly comfortable handling my own money. My parents are Boomers and they have about $3 million in accounts (not including their primary residence; they both had solid professional jobs, were incredibly frugal and maxed out their savings from the time they got married in their mid-20s). They are at a stage where their minimum required distribution is more than their needs to they appreciate guidance on which funds to pull from and where to invest for the short and mid-term to cut down on their tax liability.

        And of course articles about demographic groups – whether Boomers or Millennials – are click bait garbage.

    2. I think it’s probably just clickbait from when crypto was riding a high earlier this year. While I do see the argument of some people going for crypto because they didn’t trust government-insured banks (minorities having bad relations with usual banks due to racism, fears from the 2008 recession and banks going under, etc), for most people, crypto is straight up gambling on a ponzi scheme. I would not recommend anyone buying into crypto if they aren’t prepared to lose all their money invested in it. I know someone who invested $5k USD into bitcoin in 2017 and sold off for considerable profit during the bubble, but I also know people who have lost thousands because they held onto other crypto too long and now everything’s imploding.

      I’m a mid-30s millenials and the reason I’ve never used a financial advisor isn’t because they couldn’t get me into crypto. It’s because I don’t make enough money that using one would be worthwhile, and I know plenty of other peers in the same boat.

      1. Oddly I think that Venmo lets me do withdrawals to my bank or in Bitcoin (or something I can’t easily spend or pay my bills with).

    3. I used to work for a company that offers crypto iras.
      It’s a thing. Though less so now given how much stuff has tanked recently.

    4. This isn’t your question, but the premise of that article that seems off. My (obviously very unscientific) opinion is that millennials aren’t using financial advisors because 1. we tend to want to do things online ourselves without a middleman and 2. generationally, a lot of us don’t have money to invest! I know a few people who were into crypto (mostly upper middle class men), but they weren’t doing it to the exclusion of other investments. Then you have my Boomer FIL who went all in on crypto with his meager savings 🤷‍♀️

      1. Agreed. I’m 33 and wouldn’t dream of investing in crypto. I make a good amount of money compared to other people, but once I paid off my loans, paid for a house, and maxed out retirement there isn’t a ton left and what there is I invest online. My only experience with a financial advisor was the one provided for by my bank and she was terrible and did not justify the high fees I paid (through percentages – she was officially “free”).

      2. I think more people now are rightly skeptical of financial advisors who aren’t fiduciary financial advisors, but fiduciaries usually have a liquid asset threshold that’s higher than what the average person has to invest. For those of us in that boat, DIY-ing it with Vanguard funds or the like is a low-fuss, easy and pretty good option. Maybe I’m just old, but crypto just strikes me as a tulip-craze.

    5. Yes it is investing. It’s a very risky investment! Also just ignore nonsense articles like that? If financial advisors demonstrated that they are a value add, we’d be using them.

        1. You’d be surprised how seldom boomers even think about millennials, much less read about them. Oddly, it isn’t always about you.

        2. I mean we are killing the fabric softener industry and quality dining establishments like Applebee’s!

          1. And the mortgage industry! We can’t buy houses because we squander our pay on avocado toast!

    6. I’m a millennial and I have never used a financial advisor because I really don’t have any money. Last I checked, using one costs thousands of dollars and that didn’t make sense to me.

      I will say that I work for a big bank, and the big banks are going to get into crypto eventually. My big bank has been working on it for over a year.

      1. Why get into crypto though? I feel like I don’t keep Euros in my account, so why would I keep crypto? What sort of secret sauce is there?

        1. Because it’s money and attracting customers, and banks want a slice of that. It would be a different account, similar to when banks also offer brokerage services.

        2. I know people that made a lot of money off of crypto. I think that ship has sailed, though. In certain parts of the world it’s more popular than others.

        3. Forex trading and holding multiple currencies are pretty common. People who live in a country with hyperinflation or an unstable currency may seek alternatives to their nation’s currency.

          1. I get that. But in the US? Whatever is better than the dollar would seem to be something out there with a real functioning country out there actually using it. Nothing really comes to mind.

          2. Even if no cryptocurrency will ever soar the way bitcoin did, on the scale of a bank buying in, they could still make a boatload of money. Even with all the talk about how useless crypto is, one bitcoin today is still priced at $16k, purely because enough people still believe in it. It’s not the $50k of a year ago, but if you bought in at the cent or single dollar-stage, you’d still make bank. A bank can afford to bet on 20 new cryptocurrencies, get in for cents and hope that one of them gains popularity. Maybe the bank can push it as glitzy investment to gullible customers and create that popularity themselves. Would be super unethical but not that surprising.
            Don’t get me wrong, it’s still betting/speculating, but a big bank can afford to do so on a different scale than an individual.

    7. I don’t think that is why younger people don’t use financial advisors, I think it is because there are more low fee index funds, easier customer experience with online brokerages, and less interest in paying the advisor’s fees. I think many young people would pay an hourly advisor fee but aren’t comfortable with assets under management or commission fees.

      1. I am GenX and am not comfortable with assets under management or commission pricing models. It took a lot of digging to find a fee-only fiduciary financial advisor who would work on an hourly or flat-fee basis. He basically confirmed my existing strategy of investing in a mix of index funds, so I am not sure how much value I got out of the consultation beyond the fact that he reassured my anxious husband that we are on track to retire.

        1. Yes, and I know one thing for sure: I am never ever going to put my investments with a firm run by, like, two or three people, not attached to a major financial institution. Madoff isn’t the only person who swindled clients out of their money; it’s happened repeatedly with smaller financial advisors all over the country (and the world). I may get lower returns from Merrill Lynch than I would from Dewey Cheatem and Howe Investment Advisors Ltd., but I think it’s less likely that that Merrill Lynch will turn out to be a gigantic Ponzi scheme.

    8. I’m a millennial and don’t use a financial advisor because I don’t think one would be helpful at my level. I can figure out the advantages/disadvantages of different strategies and tax-advantaged accounts myself. I can invest in low-cost index funds and diversify myself. It has nothing to do with crypto or other assets without underlying value, which I don’t touch.

      What would a financial advisor do for me beside cost me money and time? If I have a complex tax question, I’ll ask a CPA.

      Might be different if I had family office/invest in VC and hedge fund kind of money.

        1. It’s what you probably suspect – your family has enough money to support its own VC or hedge fund infrastructure.

      2. Same with this elder millennial. And I’m not touching crypto with a ten foot pole because it’s risky as hell and not real money (yes, I recognize that on some level, all money is illusory and has value because we’ve collectively decided it has value, but). As Kai Ryssdal of Marketplace always says, would you take your paycheck in crypto?

    9. Another millennial who doesn’t use a financial advisor because I don’t have enough liquid assets to make it worthwhile.

      My parents’ long-time financial advisor terminated them as clients last year because he wanted to exclusively manage crypto investing. (I don’t think he asked them to invest in crypto, but they’re extremely conservative and would never.) Good luck to him lol.

      1. I really don’t get this. How to you “manage” crypto investing? Just buy regularly? Double-down in the dip? Hedge? Hopefully not borrow to leverage your sinking investment?

        1. It’s just gambling. Nothing more, really. That’s why the kids are doing it more than the seniors in retirement. It is high risk and even most people buying it don’t understand it. At least when you buy most mutual funds, you are investing in companies. Crypto at this point is just gambling. It is a game.

        2. I don’t know. Honestly, my parents may have misunderstood, or I may have. They just told me he gave up managing their investments because he’s focusing just on crypto. I assumed he was gambling on crypto with other people’s money and charging fees for it?

    10. I’m a millennial. I don’t use a financial advisor because Vanguard’s website and mutual fund options make it easy for me know how to appropriately invest. I have no need to pay a financial advisor to give me the same advice I can read online for free.

    11. Lol don’t believe everything you read on the internet. Especially articles talking about what millennials are doing.

      1. Good point. Half of those articles don’t seem to know that some millennials are 40 now, or that teenagers are generation Z.

    12. Older Gen X and I don’t use a financial advisor. I am financially literate through my finance-adjacent profession and my own education. I’m doing fine.

    13. I’m a millenial and I don’t use a financial advisor because I’m comfortable investing in low-cost index funds myself and Bogleheads (the wiki and the forum) has more than adequately answered all my questions about tax strategies, etc. over the years. I would not touch crypto with a 10 foot pole.

  4. What shoes are you wearing to the office when it’s cold out? I have a driving commute but usually walk outside at lunch time. It’s been so long since I was in an office, I forgot what I used to do. Probably change shoes for the lunch walk?

    1. I change back into my commuting flats (walking commute here) when I run out to grab lunch, unless it’s a Lunch Meeting and then I plan my outfit around Nice Flats that day.

    5. I live in AK, so it’s a bit different than commuting in other parts of the country but I typically wear boots of varying heights (short for just rain, tall for snow and slush) and then change into one of 3 pairs of nice shoes I have stashed away in my office. Not the most attractive look en route to work, but I value comfort over fashion in this climate!

    7. I’m not back in the office yet but I used to keep some black slip on sneakers in a drawer for this purpose. Black because they looked ok (not great) with black tights, which I wore a lot.

      It’s also good to have a pair of shoes at work you can really walk a long distance in, in case of emergency. I have not forgotten the real fire alarm at my last workplace where we all had to walk down 6+ flights of back stairs, which were made of a sharp metal mesh material, and the women in stilettos may as well have been in wheelchairs.

      1. +1 Pre-pandemic I kept a pair of black slip ons in the office because of a past emergency situation.

        Post-pandemic with a hybrid work office, I no longer wear heels and make sure to wear comfy shoes all day. I’ll either wear loafers or flat boots in the winter, and for those intense snow days where I have to be in the office, I have zero qualms about wearing my all-black Sorels all day.

  5. Reporting back! My friend and I settled on two nights at the Lodge at Woodloch, and it was lovely. The art classes were a highlight, the food was above average, and it’s a great place to unwind. The one minus was the spa: both treatments felt meh for the price.

  6. Help with pants please! I wear straight leg selvedge jeans, silk or merino tshirt, blazer, and fun sneakers for a tech-adjacent job most days. It’s a great uniform, I’m happy with it. But once a month I spend a week at corporate HQ, which has a No Denim policy. What is the style of pant I can pair with my blazers? It seems like everything in the stores is wide and flowy, which is fun but with a regular blazer it feels like everything is super wide and unbalanced, skinny pants seem outdated, and straight leg dress pants feel like I’ve gotten a suit wrong.

    3. I assume you’re wanting to use the same blazers. For the sake of proportions, I’d go with slim/skinny. I feel like as long as everything else is current (like not ballet flats), skinnies are just another style of pants at this point.

    4. I find that Everlane Straight Leg Crops work the same proportions as straight leg jeans. I’d just swap those for your jeans.

    5. Is corduroy or twill too denim adjacent? I like a slim but not skinny leg, angle length, but you could do straight leg if that looks better on you.

    6. I think skinny pants are fine, it’s skinny jeans that are dated. It’s also hard to look current with a no denim policy so I’d go with the skinny pants.

    7. Match the cut of your denim, and stay away from colors of your blazers- i.e. navy pants with navy blazer will never match.

  7. I’m within a couple of years of retirement (currently CLO of large org). I know I want to do some kind of paid work in retirement, but not legal at all. Anyone have a dream job in retirement? I need to start planning for the next phase.

      1. I feel like OP wants to take a step back in job demands. Like running Walmart vs greeter at Walmart.

      3. “Retirement” is getting redefined; it’s no longer about completely stopping all paid work as many people have figured out that retiring at 65 and living to 85 means 20 years of trying to fill your days. My parents fall into that category – they retired at 62 and now all they do all day is watch TV and go to doctor’s appointments and complain about whatever their neighbors are doing. It’s not the kind of life I want for myself. My husband and I are planning to do what some people are calling “barista FIRE,” meaning after you have your 25x saved, you give up your lucrative professional career and go work someplace part-time, at a much lower rate of pay, just so you can have health insurance and not have to tap too much of your retirement savings when you’re young enough to still be working. I can’t imagine retiring at 55 and just sitting around the house for the next 30 years, but having a series of non-intellectual, non-corporate-America jobs could be interesting.

        OP, you say you don’t want to do anything legal-related, so what are your other interests? I have seen people do all kinds of things, from becoming freelance travel agents to working at Home Depot. Do you have any hobbies you could turn into a retirement hustle? Do you do anything besides law well enough to teach it to people?

      4. Totally disagree with this definition. Many of us will retire from professional careers and that doesn’t relegate you to a life of volunteering. You can join boards, do a job you’ve wanted to do for fun, manage passive income streams, etc. Retiring doesn’t mean you can’t earn income.

        1. I have a rental property, but absent doing a lot of work on the first post-retirement vacancy, it is really not a task other than depositing a check. I like the interactive part of it, but if you have a good longer-term tenant, it is lonely. I guess it’s good, but it wouldn’t sustain me in retirement. Even board service doesn’t that much time.

      5. There is a big difference between working full time, doing salaried work, and accruing benefits as opposed to a job that allows for some extra spending money and keeps you mentally sharp. My former boss has been retired for 6 years and still works in a consulting capacity. Never more than part-time hours, and she picks and chooses her projects based on what she has the time and energy for. It’s been pretty ideal for her. My mom retired from her job as a preschool teacher a few years ago. Now she works VERY part-time for a local floral shop and helps with arrangements for a few weddings a year and the busy “flower holidays,” like Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day. I can see myself taking this approach someday. I see people who retire without a plan for keeping active, and it’s not always a very healthy situation.

      6. I’m with you. If you work full time you’re not retired! I downshifted into a much less demanding and lower paying job at age 31 but I don’t go around telling people I’m retired and people would look at me pretty strangely if I did since I’m nowhere near retirement age and work fulltime.

        1. And calling your father in law your dad in a job interview is a deceitful lie for which one should be disqualified. from a job or fired for dishonesty in the application process if discovered too late.

          1. Huh? What are you talking about. What does this have to do with father in laws or job interviews?

          2. It’s a throwback to a prior said where posters said just that instead of allowing for the common human habit of using a word imprecisely as a shortcut.

      7. To answer the question you posed, you can retire from one profession and start a new paid job and still call yourself retired. I hope that answers your inquiry.

      8. It’s “retired” when I’m working for money but am not carrying the weight of the world on me as a result of my job.

          1. Then I look forward to joining them in much lower stakes employment. That would be really nice.

    2. Based on what my friends pay for their kids, I bet I could make bank as a middle / high school math tutor (algebra up to B/C Calc). IDK if that is a W-2 job, but a lot of Country-Day-type private schools have a math tutor on staff (doesn’t teach classes, just does problem sets with students who need extra attention). That would probably have some sort of benefits, which I’m all about.

      1. This is my plan. It is incredibly difficult to find calculus tutors. I have 10 years to relearn all that math well enough to teach it.

        1. I do it now for fun for friends and acquaintances and have a portfolio; I’ve had small businesses before so the mechanics of setting something up aren’t too challenging. I’m a lawyer but I went to art school for undergrad so I’m pretty confident in my abilities. Just chose a financially stable career but never gave up the arts.

      1. I worked at a bookstore in high school and winter breaks in college, and I still remember at fondly. I would do this in a heartbeat.

    5. Could I also slightly derail this question to ask about a nontraditional pastime in retirement? Possibly to go along with part-time paid work? I have zero, or maybe less than zero, interest in bus trips, crafts, yardwork, church, TV . . . you name it. Fully intend to keep up with the gym and reading. Have done all the travel I want. Is there anything I’m missing?

      1. I would love to volunteer at my airport helping travellers in need (I had a miscarriage at an international airport where I wasn’t a citizen and was in need of help, medical and spiritual, that was not there; it was a life-changing situation for me and I would want to turn that around into something much better than I had). Just dealing with clearing customs multiple times in multiple hours was horrible and I have a very sad passport from that time.

        1. I cannot imagine. How lonely and sad, and how good of you to turn that into a desire to help others.

      2. Are you interested in learning a language? Or pursuing another intellectual interest, beyond just reading for fun?

        I studied Latin in HS and really want to get back into it, and other ancient languages, when I’m no longer deep in the little-kids-big-job phase of life

        1. Some universities and community colleges offer discounted or tuition-free classes to seniors. I’d enroll in whatever interested me in a given semester.

      3. Culture / The Arts. Before they are gone forever, and all we have is TV.

        Theater. Music. Dance. Opera. Stand up comedy. Everything from dive-y amazing jazz bars to your local Symphony. Everything from story-telling to the tiny community theater with only 10 seats that premier new works to the mammoth musical productions that are wonderfully cheese-y. Beautiful chamber music recitals in churches and a film showing of Amadeus with the symphony playing the music live. A poet reading their

        Or intellectual stuff. Learning new things. From a new language to the molecular basis of smell to how to cook a perfect steak.

        Find a political/social issue you are passionate about and start working towards a better future, before you are gone.

        Teach. Read to children.

        Volunteer. Help. Sit with someone who is sick, and listen to their story.

        That’s what my parents did.

    6. I was at a winery last weekend and the gentleman running our tasting mentioned that this was his job after retirement. That is what I am aspiring to.

      1. Working at a winery or liquor store is at the top of my list of things to consider! When I got laid off this year, if I hadn’t gotten another professional job, I was going to apply to work at Total Wine. They offer health insurance and a 401k!

      2. That sounds like my ideal job! I also think it’s really important to distinguish between needing to work post retirement to pay the bills and working so you don’t get bored. Needing versus wanting are huge issues I discuss with my SO.

    7. I think the question is why do you want “paid work” — do you need money, stability, healthcare, or do you just feel like it’s a more reliable path to an interesting use of your time? How much would you want to be on your feet, interacting with people?

      If it’s the latter consider starting your own business, maybe going off one of your hobbies. Become a docent. Adjunct teaching. Higher level assistant work like executive assistant, VA stuff.

      If it’s the former I’m not sure – I’d probably work at a department store, bridal salon, or plant store.

    8. I’m many many decades away from retirement but I was a barista throughout college and I would love to go back to doing that in retirement. It’s mentally stimulating but not challenging, gives you a reason to get up early in the morning, requires a lot of simple memorization/fast paced problem solving to keep you sharp, has a lot opportunities for social interaction, and the vibes in most coffee shops are nice. To this day it’s my favorite job I’ve ever had.

      1. I also worked as a barista in college but hated it!! I’m not cut out for a job where you have to work with the general public!

    9. I would pick a place where you want to spend time and get a job there, and maybe change it up every season. Like work in a gift shop at Yosemite for the summer, then at a ski resort for the winter. Or just buy a lake house in Northern Michigan and work in a bookshop there.

      1. I ushered at a Shakespeare festival. Got to see all of the plays for free and then pour wine at intermission.

    10. I know one retired person who coaches a high school sport and is very happy, and another who became a volunteer coordinator at a non-profit.

    11. My mom is a retired principal (who started her career as a science teacher) and she does medical acting for a medical school. She absolutely loves it. She also volunteers at a soup kitchen and a dog rescue.

    12. OP here: Wow, these are tremendous!

      As to the why paid work, a couple of reasons. Not benefits – want to work part time. Partly b/c I have a scarcity mindset from growing up poor, and I love the idea of having even a trickle of income coming in. More important, I love having a purpose, a schedule, a reason to get up. I love adding value, but that can mean another set of hands. Dont need glamorous or important; I am comfortable with low level work. Needs to be something I can do and forget until I return.

      Lots of hobbies/interests, but I am always concerned that if I start to work at something I love, like books, I will hate it. But the idea of working at a bookstore is really, really attractive.

      1. My mom worked at our local bookstore for years and all her friends were bookish 20 something’s. She mostly loved it. Now she owns a food service franchise and makes really good money working very minimal hours.

    13. Oh I can’t wait for my retirement job! I’d plan on a seasonal ~10-15 hour a week job.

      I’d like to ref or coach a sport I play. I think it’d be fun to be a docent at a museum. My uncle was a “ticket taker” at our MLB station. After the 3rd inning he was released and could go watch the games, so that sounds fun to me too. I would love a part time job at a local non profit that’s adjacent to my field. I think being a barista or working at a cafe could be fun too. In my beach town the beach tag checkers are all retirees. I know another retiree who supervises the tennis courts in town. So many fun low key options.

    14. I’m semi-retired and I’m a part time consultant in the field I worked in for 30+ years. I have my own small business. I turn down projects I’m not interested in taking on. (I do a lot of referrals to other people in my profession)

    15. I hope to work in retail again. I love being around people and being helpful and selling things. I love the feeling of shopping, especially for gifts. You know how people hate small talk? I love it. I love polite low stakes interactions where you can just wish a persons a nice day and on to the next. My great great grandfather came to this country selling stuff door to door in a wagon and later owned stores. I feel like it is absolutely in my bones.

      For the folks who like wine, I have often thought a cool business idea would be to do in-home wine tastings for small parties and books clubs. I would pay hundreds of dollars for someone to explain fun wine facts to me and my friends at my kitchen island.

    16. My husband and I are hoping to do a little mediation as a team. We each have unique qualifications that I think would make us somewhat marketable in a crowded field. In addition to that, as I said, I plan to join the Assistance League and also continue with the Rotary Club and a couple of nonprofit boards. (Counting down. Less than a year to go!!)

  8. Swifties on the board…about how long do you think the queue will last today during presale? I have to interview someone at 1pm ET which is right when presale starts. I got a presale code and I’m going to log into Ticketmaster before the interview, but I’m kind of hoping I end up sitting in the queue for at least 30 minutes so I don’t miss it when it starts!

    1. I’m not enough of a Swiftie to pursue tickets, but if you were my interviewer and admitted you were in the queue, it would reflect favorably :)

      2. I don’t even like TS but same! I appreciate work life balance and knowing that the people I work with are… human.

        1. Exactly! I do like TS, but I don’t require my interviewers to agree with me on that point, ha.

    3. Side question — DMV Swifties, where are you trying to get tickets? So bummed there won’t be a DC-area concert!

      1. I’m in DC and I’m trying for one of the Philadelphia shows. I figure it’s the closest train ride. Side note – I’m new here and I’d love to meet a Corporette Swiftie IRL! Is that weird?! I’d contact you at a burner account if you’re interested!

    4. Update – I had thought it said all locations would start sale at 10am PT but I just realized my presale text says 10am ET! I’m in the queue now

    5. I’m jealous you guys all got in! My husband and I both got on the wait list… which presumably just means we’ll spend even more $$ on tickets on the secondary market. Also in DC, and we put in for Philly, Chicago and New York (thinking the concert could be a good excuse for a weekend trip). For other DMV Swifties, I love the theory that Taylor’s snub is what lead to Snyder publicly saying he was open to buyers for the Commanders… she has so much power!! ;)

      1. my boyfriend and one of my friends got waitlisted; i didn’t even get a rejection email!

    6. I’m in the queue. I sort of messed up and listed a date I can’t go but she has three dates in my city so hoping I can buy for this night (the better night) and swap for a less desirable night? Am I crazy?

    7. Well, my screen still says “You are now in the queue” but my spot hasn’t moved in about an hour. I’m seeing from others and twitter that the queues are paused. Clearly ticketmaster knew there would be historic demand but did nothing to prepare their system for it. If you’re gonna be the monopoly on something, at least be the best at it.

    8. I have a friend who bought tickets to a different concert while she was giving a presentation! Same deal with the time slot. She just paused on a slide, said take a minute to absorb this to the audience, and quickly completed the transaction!

    9. This has been a nightmare. I have no idea how they don’t make sure that they have enough capacity to handle the load.

      2. I read on Twitter that those who got tickets to the ultimately cancelled Loverfest in 2019 had to wait in the queue for 6 hours

  9. Help. I’m always hungry. I work from home, live alone, and I absolutely HATE cooking (and I’m not good at it), so I often find myself snacking and making frozen meals that don’t really fill me up in the long term. I want to start exercising, but I know I need to address my nutrition habits first so I have the energy. What are some easy breakfast and lunch options? I’m vegetarian.

    1. Oatmeal (with milk), full-fat yogurt, all the cheeses, lots of nuts. Peanut butter and honey is my go-to grab and go.

    3. Breakfast options: oatmeal with fruit and nuts, Icelandic extra creamy skyr, RxBar, Ripple chocolate protein shake
      Lunch options: canned soup, especially Amy’s low sodium lentil vegetable soup or Pacific vegetable lentil soup. Add an apple, babybel cheese, and crackers. Alvarado Street Bakery sprouted wheat bagel and two eggs.

    4. Whole wheat toast with stuff: peanut butter and apple, avocado and tomato, cheese and broccoli or other roasted or raw veggies. Likewise, whole wheat tortillas or pitas with refried beans, frozen falafel or hummus plus veggies and fun sauces or dressings. A big batch of pasta salad with chickpeas and veggies. If you roast a bunch of veggies and prep a bunch of raw veggies on the weekend, you have them ready to go for meals all week.

    5. Eggs are extremely easy to cook and make a great breakfast, or lunch. I need protein in the morning, so they are go-to. Learn to scramble, or poach, and you can also hard boil them and put them on an interesting salad for lunch.

      For lunch, I follow @workweeklunch on IG (she also has a website). She has easy bulk recipes, ideas, and menus. Since you live along, you could incorporate this into your dinners as well. It has lots of bulk cooking, and time saving ideas.

    6. I need lots of protein to start my day or I end up wanting to eat everything in sight by 10am. Oatmeal absolutely does not cut it for me as a breakfast food, although I do love it for lunch.

      I like a vegan protein smoothie instead. Here is my usual ratio:
      120g water
      40g fresh leafy greens
      half a banana
      two scoops pea protein powder
      15g raw shelled nuts or seeds
      5g flax seed meal or chia seeds
      70g frozen fruit

    7. fiber and protein will fill you up and keep you full. lots of water also helps. 2 oz of beans, an apple (maybe with PB), airpopped popcorn, avocado – all high fiber and good snacks. (i eat avocado with soy or hot sauce.)

    8. More healthy fats will keep you fuller and more satiated.

      For breakfast that could be things like eggs and avocado, or full fat Greek yogurt with berries, chia sees and nuts.

      Lunch: coconut creamed red lentil dahl with turmeric, ginger and coriander, or West Indian peanut and sweet potato stew with kale.

    9. Check out the recipes on the Trader Joe’s website, most of the recipes involve using ingredients from TJs that frozen or prepared so it’s more assembling than cooking.

    10. It sounds like you are using this as an excuse not to exercise. Just go exercise. And eat food. It doesn’t have to be portioned into three plate-sized meals to be proper nutrition and it certainly doesn’t to constitute sufficient food to do the moderate exercise you are contemplating.

    11. If you’re always hungry, you may be dealing with insulin resistance. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes during pregnancy and was shocked by how much better my body felt when I:

      —Ate every 2-3 hours in a meal/snack/meal/snack pattern. I had been grazing throughout the day OR skipping snacks. With GD, you have to test 1-2 hours after your first bite and you are not supposed to go more than 3 hours from first bite to first bite. So you have clearly regulated “eat” and “don’t eat” windows that are never that long.

      —Ate the protein part of my plate first, then the fat, then the carb. (If I had naked veggies on the plate, I’d often eat those before the protein.)

      —Kept carbs to 25-30% of my total calories for the day, and ate them more later in the day than early in the day. I always aimed for a savory breakfast.

      None of this is a crazy diet. It’s not calorie restricted and it’s not anywhere close to keto. (They want pregnant women to eat and eat a lot, even with GD!) I ate basically whatever I wanted (other than things with a lot of simple sugars in them). But my hunger cues went from “always on” to “no, I’m actually hungry right now.” It genuinely is the best thing that’s ever happened to me from a diet and nutrition perspective, and I remain shocked by how those extremely simple tweaks regulated my cravings. I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but it was a godsend for me.

      Anyway, some meals that would work for you that worked for me:

      —1 slice Dave’s killer bread spread with hummus or peanut butter, with 2-3 hard boiled eggs on the side.

      —Protein shakes! The chocolate Premier Protein shakes, plus a bit of PB and some spinach for iron were always a hit for me.

      —Greek yogurt bowls! Get the full fat 5% version. I would top with a little bit of honey and some Pure Elizabeth granola (like, 1/4 cup). You can add berries on top, too, for bonus points.

      —Breakfast charcuterie! Babybell cheese, some apricot preserves, Triscuits, nuts. I would throw in prosciutto but it would be just as good without.

      —On that note, the Balanced Breaks premade snack trays were great on the go.

      —Salad for lunch. Don’t overthink this while you’re starting the habit; strongly recommend just grabbing premade ones from Trader Joe’s until you get into a routine.

      1. I think the recommendations for gestational diabetes are a bit different than the recommendations for insulin resistance when not pregnant. Eating every 2-3 hours doesn’t give insulin a chance to fall between meals!

        1. Oh, that’s good to know! Glucose definitely does fall within 2-3 hours for both pregnant and non-pregnant people, but perhaps longer windows are more optimal? What is the current recommendation?

          1. Glucose falls when insulin rises, so aiming for lower insulin is different from aiming for lower glucose. So my doctor switched me from the frequent meals to longer gaps between meals so that I wouldn’t be running high insulin levels all day and inadvertently worsening the insulin resistance issue.

          2. Ah, got it. Fascinating and makes sense. Sounds like these are adjacent, but different, issues.

      2. “Always hungry” can also mean that the calories you’re eating have almost no nutritional value. If you’re eating all the time but getting no vitamins or other nutrients, your body wants more to get them.

    12. A scrambled egg on whole wheat toast. If you have string cheese, tear about 1/2 a stick into long strands and add it at the beginning of making the egg.

      Lazy woman’s scrambled egg: heat about a teaspoon of butter in a small Teflon pan. Once the butter is melted, the heat to medium low and crack and egg into the pan. Add salt and pepper. Now start stirring just the white in little circles with just the tip of a silicone spatula. Once the white looks pretty much cooked, break the yolk and do the same. Your egg is done when it’s the way you like – I like the yolks still a bit wet-looking, but the white all the way cooked.

      If you were adding cheese, put the strands right on top of the egg right after you crack it into the pan.

      You would start your toast in the toaster while the butter is melting.

  10. Anyone want to help me shop? I have a work holiday party coming up. People dress up and slightly festive but very much still work wear. I have put on a lot of weight since having my baby- prob a size 16 or an xl or xxl. I have black pants that fit. So prob looking for some sort of top or sweater. I have a belly and big chest. Help would be appreciated – I started looking around and got over whelmed !

    1. J Crew Factory has some plaid tops that would be cute for a work holiday party – I’d start there.

  11. Should I wait until Black Friday to buy a coat from Lands End? It’s currently 60% off and the website seems to suggest that deal goes through 11/23. Is the price likely to go down any further after the holiday?

    1. I wouldn’t wait! I feel like Black Friday deals aren’t always the best in recent years.

    3. I would go for it. Do the math. A $300 coat that is 60% off is $120. Let’s say the Black Friday discount might go up to 65% off – that brings it down to $105. However, it could just as easily be some weird “buy 2 get 1 free” deal on Black Friday, or 50% off, or whatnot – this may cost you more by waiting. Is the risk of holding out for a better deal worth $15?

    5. Buy it now, and if the Black Friday sale is better, buy it then as well and return this one.

    6. I bought a LE cashmere hoodie with a 50% off code and I saw it was even cheaper yesterday and I wanted to buy a second color. But by yesterday, all of the size/color combinations I would have been interested were sold out.

      If you are set on this coat, buy it now.

    1. I think this is a you problem. I follow lots of politics news and only see him when I read the NY Times. If you’re sick of him, seek out different news.

    2. What’s bad about him? I find him less annoying than a lot of political analysts.

  13. I’m traveling to Munich and Salzburg next year with my children (2 and 4) and my parents. Any recommendations for hotels or other rentals? I’d also love any recommendations for restaurants or other activities while we are in either town!

    1. I stayed at the sheraton in salzburg and liked it. Highly recommend the ice cave tour outside of salzburg, although I’m not sure it would work for small kids or people with mobility issues. The cable car at untersburg is also great as is the fortress.

    2. I love the Palace Hotel in Munich. Across the street, Restaurant Käfer-Schänke is a great place with a fancy gourmet market downstairs and a fabulous fancy restaurant upstairs. Make sure to walk down to the English Garden and watch the surfers on the artificial wave. We did a great walking tour with “Jake D.” from Tours by Locals dot com — HIGHLY recommend. He’s an American who has lived in Germany for years and is married to a German woman and he was fun and very knowledgable.

    3. The pizza at L’Osteria Salzburg was pretty good and, if you’re going in summer, there were a ton of kids playing in the fountain in the street next to the outdoor tables. Your 4 year old especially might enjoy that. Schloss Hellbrun has the gazebo from the Sound of Music but also really interesting gardens that the kids would enjoy. There’s a bus from the downtown or its a quick taxi ride. The kids might also enjoy getting fondue in Munich, I can’t remember the name of the restaurant I went to but it looks like there are a couple of options. Second the recommendation for the English Garden, and also just taking advantage of the fact that you’re in Munich and enjoying some time at a beer garden. If you’re a palaces person the Munich Residenz is interesting, and if you’re REALLY a palaces person I recommend a day tour of the nearby castles (although that would probably be too much for the kids).

  14. One of the vents in the conference room is dying? Like when there’s air in the line in a sink and it’s very, very, very loud. And I have to be on site today.

    How do you know the writing’s on the wall about moving on? I’ve had so many short-term jobs (nature of those fields +/- school) that being in this job for 2+ years is making me itchy. I’ve about hit the ceiling here.

    1. Do you want to quit because of the vent!!#
      I definitely would?). If they have physical plant issues then they can’t support ypur growth; Get out now??

  15. Does Soia & Kyo do Black Friday sales? I want to buy a coat and wondering if I should wait a week or go for it now. It’s getting cold!!

    1. They did a few years ago, it was either 20% or 25% off. I think if you message them/sign up for their email list you can also get a 15-20% off discount which I might do if you want a particular color. They also run slightly large, so ordering now will allow for returns/exchanges if needed.

    2. I think I bought mine on sale, but I don’t recall if it was a black Friday sale. Probably doesn’t hurt to wait a week and see.

  16. How consistent do you think you are in calories every day? Just curious — I swing wildly between 1200 calories and 2500+ calories so the idea of eating (for example) 1750 every day is weird to me.

    1. i’m pretty consistently around 1800-1900 (5’2, 140 lbs) M-Fr where I don’t work out much and have consistent meals thanks to my schedule. I definitely have a few higher days on weekends due to eating out and drinking (2500+?) but those are also the days I can get a fun intense workout in and am generally more active. But I am a big fan of intuitive eating – eat if you’re hungry! if you aren’t feeling hungry then I see no reason to feel bad about only eating 1200 as long as you try to listen to your body!

    2. Looking back over the past month, I’ve eaten anywhere between 2000-3600 calories in a day (I am both breastfeeding and marathon training, so my TDEE is pretty dang high!).

    3. I’m consistent since I started tracking. I now believe I was very inconsistent before.

    4. I am very consistent Monday through Friday. Coffee and protein shake for breakfast. Trader Joes salad and fruit for lunch. Something with protein, veggies, and rice for dinner. Small dessert. Ends up being about 1200 calories a day.

      The weekends are all over the place though.

  17. I am so freaking tired of freezing at my desk, meetings and conferences because buildings are chilled for mens preferences. I am in boots, tights, a dress and a blazer and yet I can’t feel my fingers at this conference. Ugh!!

    1. I have a lot more sympathy for that argument in the summer, when we’re wasting energy to accommodate men’s fashion choices. I think this goes both ways and, in the winter, you also need to dress appropriately for the weather. I say this as someone who is always freezing: tights are definitely not cold weather apparel for someone who runs cold!

      1. Tights are perfectly appropriate winter weather apparel.

        I find tights warmer than pants because there’s no exposed skin that you get between pants and shoes.

        1. They’re perfectly appropriate, but as someone who’s always cold, they’re definitely not appropriate for me. There’s a huge difference when I have my legs covered with real pants and socks and shoes, none of this ankle pants bs either! The real scam is that we’ve been convinced the that our pants should leave out ankles bare! So yeah, I guess tights are better in comparison, but if you can wear longer pants or boots with your pants, I do find that it’s much warmer.

          1. Apparently I’m so annoyed about this that I really can’t type on my phone. Or my hands have just gone numb because I’m freezing, as usual! Still waiting for AI to come up with autocorrect that actually works!

          2. Ankle pants are so dumb in the winter months. I categorically refuse. Real pants, real socks, and boots only.

          3. This. I’ve said it before but I do so glad fashion is swinging back to pants long enough to cover your ankles so I can wear socks without being super unfashionable. Even when it’s warm out the sensation of bare ankles/tops of feet while having legs covered was always too weird for me to deal with. Hail socks! Long May she reign!

      2. What are you talking about? I run cold and I lived in tights nine months out of the year when I lived three hours’ drive from Canada. They’re perfectly fine for winter. OP is dressed appropriately enough that she should probably be able to feel her fingers.

      3. Ok I don’t keep my house overly warm (68) and when I’m at home wearing a dress with tights I’m fine. So there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be fine in my office in the same attire. .

      4. Tights are normal winter attire for women. Therefore businesses should heat their offices to an appropriate temperature so that women are comfortable when wearing tights. Not doing so is ridiculous. It’s making half of your appropriately dressed workforce uncomfortable in their Jen office.

        If someone is wearing bare legs and a sleeveless sheath without a layer then they need to dress appropriately. If someone like the OP is wearing tights, boots, and a blazer then the office is not being heated appropriately.

    3. Yesterday I had on a thermal turtleneck, a wool dress, a half-slip, Commando tights, wool socks, and booties.Over this, at my desk, fingerless gloves and a blanket. Government office, no space heaters allowed.

      This was our first really cold day (after a record-breaking high temp last week) so I don’t know what the rest of the winter will bring.

      1. Could you do a heating pad instead of a space heater? They use far less energy. I bought a $25 off Am@zon and it’s been great!

        1. We can’t plug in anything. The list of things is ridiculous, includes lava lamps, aquariums, mug warmers, lamps, and diffusers.I suppose I could bring in a hot water bottle and use water heated in an approved tea kettle in a kitchen . . .hmmm . . .just might do that!

      2. Ember now has a travel mug that runs on batteries that may help. No plugging in required!

      1. Which countries / industries? Pondering my options b/c I left my lighter at home. Otherwise, I might light up a prospectus and see what heat it gives off.

        1. I’m a Canadian federal employee and legally my work site can’t be colder than 20 c (68 f).

    5. If I am wearing boots and socks and my toes are getting numb it’s 100% an office problem not a me problem.

      1. Agree. In many countries, local authorities set mandatory min/max indoor temperature by type of work. If your temp is lower, report to Hr or facility manager and ask them to correct it. If that fails, I would bring a seat warmer.

    6. Conferences are the worst, and doubly so if it is summer and the AC is blasting. I now have two wraps in my tote, one that I wrap up in as a shawl, and one that is a blanket that I spread over my legs and tuck in.

  18. Update on the apartment neighbor with the dog: 7 day notice to cure went ignored. Because I was the only one to talk to her directly (I listened to y’all and went to her first), she thinks it’s only me complaining and is now very angry with me. Banging on my door, etc. I tried to tell her that this was many people and office staff have heard it too and they have all knocked to try to talk with her but she wasn’t home. She then put patio furniture to block her door and now goes in via walking through decor instead of using the sidewalk.

    Corporate is involved and said they have a lawyer involved but eviction is tough because, though she has put it in writing and in conversation that she knows she is upsetting people with the dog noise and she continues to do so, it is tough to evict. She now says she is “training” the dog for hours at a time including while she showers before 6am and during working and dinner hours and when she is out after midnight. This “training” is really just crating the dog while she is out or when she hides in another room while the dog barks and howls as she thinks doing this long enough will make the dog “get over it and be quiet.” Corporate knows the city is involved due to noise ordinance complaints too. Now she is claiming it is not her dog, so the office left notes in all doors in the building asking anyone with information about the barking dog call them. They are hoping that pushing on her with lawyers and discussing an eviction on her record will either make her give up the dog or move.

    I’ve tried to get animal control involved as the dog is clearly not okay to be alone so much and crated like this, but they said being inside means not neglect and without proof of being denied food or water or being physically harmed, they can only respond to the noise issues.

    Poor puppy.

    Any tenant wanting to move has to follow their own lease, which says we have to pay until a new tenant would move in, which is not affordable to anyone, so everyone feels trapped here in this situation.

        1. Also, you’re devoting an insane amount of time and mental energy to this problem. It’s not going to change anytime soon, so take the solution that’s in front of you.

        2. You’ve gotta take the other unit, especially since your neighbor is now harassing you.

        4. This. Just move. There is a solution to this problem but OP is apparently going to die on this hill.

      2. This is the only reasonable solution to what seems like an intractable problem. OP, you can keep digging into your anger or you can release your anger and create a solution for yourself where you can move forward from this. I know this is not your issue and you should not have to move, etc. As someone else in the discussion is saying: do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? You can only choose one.

    2. You should be able to be able to break your lease without penalty if you live in an area that is at least decently tenant-friendly. Look up “quiet enjoyment” laws in your local jurisdiction.

      1. Yes. Look it up. And then consider whose quiet enjoyment is being threatened here.

    3. That poor dog. I’m not sure that “cry it out” works with human babies, but definitely not with puppies who can smell and hear you in the next room.

    4. Didn’t you say last time they had offered to let you move? You need to take that offer and move. Nothing else is going to happen.

    5. I think you should buy a home in a suburban planned community and join the HOA. You are really suited to it.

      7. Heh I have feet of clay when it comes to HOAs. My dad was the president of ours and he was awful…

    6. I’m sympathetic but you need to move apartments as your management has offered. I think you’re finding from these comments that is the consensus, and you’re not going to get different opinions by repeatedly posting. Are you enjoying the drama by any chance?

      1. I believe the OP is enjoying the drama. I’m also not super convinced the details are accurate (blocking the door with patio furniture and the management company doesn’t seem to care? and some of the details from the last post)…

        But regardless, the OP should move to the other unit, just like everyone said last time.

    7. If she is harassing you, banging on your door, etc., (a) call the police, (b) get a Ring and record at your expense, and (c) report each incident to the landlord. I’m a landlord, and I’ve evicted a tenant for harassing another tenant.

      1. The landlord is already trying to evict the neighbor. Going to them with even more petty crap isn’t going to help them do it any faster.

        1. Until next week when OP will “update” to say that now the management company is no longer willing to evict and the dog owner has piled abandoned bed frames in front of the entry to the complex and is only home between the hours of 5 a.m. and 6 a.m.

          1. Why are you being mean? Have you never had an ongoing conflict and just needed a place to vent????

        2. If the tenant is harassing OP or her behavior escalates further, then with evidence, it could fall under “illegal activity” and reduce the notice period. It also motivates the landlord more than a barking dog.

          1. My company acquired an apartment building during COVID where one of the tenants had been caught *twice* by the police dealign meth. The eviction process, even with the support of the city attorney, took a year, and only ended because we paid the meth dealer to move out. It would have taken at least another 6 months to get to trial.

    8. That poor dog, she’s already traumatised it, I hope she give it up soon.

      The piled up furniture sounds like a fire hazard, is she blocking other people from escaping quickly if there was a fire or just herself?

      Hope you are ok.Sleep deprivation can be hard.

  19. In 2021, I booked a non-refundable/economy ticket to Puerto Rico for January 2023. I purchased travel insurance for the ticket. My family is super concerned about the Puerto Rico storm damage/recovery and strongly encouraging me not to go. I switched jobs this year so would rather not vacation in January. American Airlines website says no changes, no refunds. Travel insurance policy says only pays out if the natural disaster is within X days of the trip; and/or I am told by a doctor not to fly within X days of the trip. Is this even worth trying to get American to change or give me a credit?

    1. Sounds like you’re out the money unless a new natural disaster hits Puerto Rico or you get hurt.

    2. Is it a basic economy ticket? “Regular” economy tickets sold in 2021 should be refundable. Not for cash, but the airline should give you a travel credit good for a year or so.

      1. Also airlines don’t open ticket sales until ~11 months (330 days) in advance, so I’m confused how you bought a ticket in 2021 for 2023!

    3. did you buy “basic economy” or regular main cabin? If regular main cabin, you can cancel and get full credit for rebooking another trip, you just don’t get cash.

  20. Any WOC who got your “colors done”? What “season” are you?
    Asking because from looking at IG tags and accounts, it seems non-Caucasians end up categorized as “winters”. I’m very intrigued but don’t want to make the investment if I’ll inevitably be a winter as well.

    1. I feel like a lot of WOCs will be winters, but there are different types. Some women who are winters have enough skin contrast to make camel work for them (not me). My mother is olive-skinned and is one of the only autumns I know. She can wear rust! I am just a vanilla winter but many women on my mom’s side with caramel skin and more medium hair wouldn’t be in the same season (or subseason) as me. Do you have freckles? I don’t think it’s a waste, but the Color Me Beautiful book is probably cheap to buy and/or in your library and it is worth a look.

      1. Agreed on “could”…the issue is that we’re almost always categorized as winters by the consultants with IG account.

        1. Just thinking about this, if you look good in mustard, gold and orange, I think that’s all the information you need to decide winter or autumn.

          I’m cool skinned and look awful in those colors but I think they’re so stunning on those who can wear them.

    3. Looking at a variety of House of Colour accounts, I do see WOC typed as a variety of seasons. I agree more winter than I would expect, but definitely there are some consultants who are correctly typing WOC in a variety of ways. In your shoes I would only use one who had demonstrated the ability to type WOC.

    5. Lots of WOC are not winters!

      There are some great Youtube videos of people having their colors done. I’ve seen Korean and Japanese videos in particular, but there are loads. Also helpful are the ones about undertones and foundation matching.

      Some starting points that can be easier is soft tones vs clear colors. Are you drawn toward muted colors, pastels, jewel tones or brights? That can be a starting point. Do you have little yellow flecks or rings in your irises? Do you have a couple of items where you feel really good?

      We can figure you out, with som extra info!

      1. I’m thinking deep autumn, since she often looks glowy warm with coral cheeks and do well with darker neutrals and high contrast, and various camels and tans. Her makeup sometimes plays this down towards a soft autumn and she uses dusk pink, but I think deep looks brighter and more vivacious on her. Cream looks better than white.

  21. Does anyone have a good cornbread recipe? All my attempts are not as good as what I can get at my favorite places. Mix or from scratch is, I just want a yummy cornbread like my favorite soup place makes.

    2. The America’s Test Kitchen one is really good. A bit annoying and involved per their MO, but worth it. I’ll post a reply with it in a second.

      1. ATK All-Purpose Cornbread
        1 1/2 cups AP flour
        1 cup cornmeal
        2 tsp baking powder
        1/4 tsp baking soda
        3/4 tsp salt
        1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
        3/4 cup frozen corn, thawed
        1 cup buttermilk
        2 large eggs
        8 Tbsp unsalted butter

        Directions:
        Set corn out to thaw. Melt butter and allow to cool.
        Adjust oven rack to middle and heat to 400. Spray a square baking dish with vegetable oil spray. Whisk together flour, cornmeal, baking powder, baking soda and salt in medium bowl.
        In food processor or blender, process brown sugar, corn kernels and buttermilk until combined. Add eggs and process until well combined (corn lumps will remain).
        Make well in center of dry ingredients. Pour wet ingredients into well. Begin folding dry ingredients into wet, barely combining. Add melted butter and continue to gently fold until dry ingredients are just moistened. Pour batter into prepared baking dish and smooth surface with rubber spatula.
        Bake until deep golden brown and tester comes out clean, 25-35 minutes. Let cool on wire rack for 10 minutes, then invert out of pan and allow to cool 10 minutes more.

        1. Whoops, there should be a notation somewhere that the baking pan needs to be 8 x 8.

      2. Jiffy Mix. I’ve tried all the fancier mixes and recipes… and always come back to Jiffy.

    4. I get the little blue/white boxes and either: add a tablespoon or two of sugar or go all-in with creamed corn and cream cheese.

    6. Do you want it sweet or unsweet? I feel like a lot of restaurants make cornbread very very sweet, then serve it with honey butter to double down on the sweetness. Anyway, if that’s your issue, just add sugar.

      I personally like a savory cornbread. I like the recipe on the box of Alber’s cornmeal (and I once read that it was what Julia Child used as well!) for the kind of cornbread that’s half cornmeal, half flour. But I also like the southern all-cornmeal skillet cornbread cooked in lard (in my case, saved up bacon grease or just vegetable oil) at a higher heat for more of a crusty experience. I will see if I can comment with links.

      3. I have a reply in m 0 d but go to

        Alberscorn dot com and they have a regular and a sweet version of their classic cornbread

    7. I use Food Network’s Cast Iron Skillet Corn Bread recipe. I cut the sugar to 1T for a more savory result (but 2T make a balanced cornbread, IMO).

    8. While I generally don’t like BHG’s ubiquitous red plaid cookbook, their cornbread recipe is my perfect ideal, as it is not terribly sweet. I like to bake it in a cast iron skillet with tablespoon of browned butter swirled around in the pan first.

    9. This depends entirely on whether you want sweet, cake-textured cornbread or unsweetened cornbread with a coarse texture. Most of the suggestions below will give you the first (including the blue box).

      If you are looking for the Southern variety (not sweet, usually cooked in a cast iron skillet), then you cannot go wrong using the Three Rivers Cornbread mix (which unless you live in the South you will need to order on line). It is classically made with bacon fat (and is really good that way) but you can obviously make it with oil or butter. Just be sure you heat the pan really well with whatever you are using for grease so that it is sizzling hot when you pour the batter in or it will stick. Also, remember you do not beat cornbread batter. Just mix it enough that the dry ingredients are wet.

      Also as a PSA if you live any where outside the South and want to make biscuits, it is really, really worth it to order biscuit flour. White Lily is the classic for a reason but I think King Arthur has a variety as well.

  22. I am on the market for a new pillow. I want it to be fantastic. I’m a side sleeper. My husband loves extra firm bamboo pillows, so that’s what we have right now. I hate them. Like sleeping on bricks. I would like a luxurious, soft but supportive pillow. I think I’m looking for down. Anyway, anyone absolutely rapturous about their pillow?

    1. I have a medium height/weight down pillow 90 % down, 10 % feather as my favorite pillow. It’s from Hoie of Scandinavia.

    2. I have the easy breather pillow from Nest Bedding — it’s softer. I like it for now but it isn’t my holy grail.

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