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Updated: Feb 12, 2024 262 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Striped Rib-Knit Maxi Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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A woman wearing a multicolored dress, carrying a zebra-print bag and wearing black boots

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Christopher John Rogers is one of my favorite designers when it comes to big, bold colors, and this striped midi dress is an attention grabber.

This might not be ideal for a very old-school, business formal office, but I would love to see it on a keynote speaker or in a more creative field. 

The dress is $1,025 and comes in sizes XS–XL. 

A few more affordable options include this dress from Ciebon (XS–XL, $138), this Liverpool Los Angeles dress (XS–XL, $109), and this Eloquii style (lucky sizes, $49 on sale).

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  2. Taki

    Hi everyone. I use Peter Thomas Roth Water Drench SPF 45 moisturizer as my daily face lotion. I am almost out and they don’t sell it where I currently live. I am going to Paris this weekend luckily :) and I’d like to pick up something comparable: SPF, hyaluronic acid, but more importantly super super lightweight and not oily or greasy at all. PTR feels almost dusty or papery on my skin. Does anyone have a recommendation for a French skincare brand/where to buy it? Thanks!

    • Anon

      Go to CityPharma in Paris. The best way to explain it is a cross between the skin care department at N-M and Costco. Plan to spend a lot of time there. They have consultants on the floor who are actually knowledgeable and helpful.

      In the meantime, try Neutrogena Hydro Boost Face Moisturizer with SPF 25, Hydrating Facial Sunscreen, Oil-Free and Non-Comedogenic Water Gel Face Lotion 1.7 oz. It is a pretty close match to what you were using.

    • Anonymous

      Can’t help with a light moisturizer, but Missha soft finish sun milk (SPF50+) feels really dusty and chalky on my skin but is a good sunscreen (feels chalky, doesn’t look chalky) – I recommend!

    • 2bu

      I love La Roche Posay for face sunscreen. They came out with a new one that isn’t available in the US yet, La Roche-Posay Anthelios UVMUNE 400 Invisible Fluid. I would get some of those for sure.

      • anon

        +1. I buy this one (2-3 bottles for my whole family) once every year from a French online pharmacy before the summer (at a high markup I should add). I would definitely stock up if I were in Paris!

  3. Anon

    I have a bedroom that gets a lot of road noise from (I think) its windows (vs the walls). What would help most — wood louvered shutters or heavy curtains? Leaning towards shutters since I have bad allergies and you can’t dust curtains. I want to blow in extra insulation in the walls but think that would be too $$$ and too disruptive.

    • anonshmanon

      I would have thought washing curtains is less of a hassle than dusting shutters.

      • Anon

        Most seem to require dry cleaning so it’s swapping dust for chemicals and having to iron out the creases. And then what do you do while your windows are bare? In theory I like curtains but it’s hard to get every detail with them right for me.

          • lost academic

            I get washable curtains (and as I’ve learned on this site, “dryclean” and “dryclean only” aren’t the same, plus usually the dryer is my iron) but I am buying from Amazon for a more specific purpose of just blocking all light. I do think that when you’re talking about noise cancelling it’s a good way to go (less dense/rigid materials limit sound more)

    • Anonymous

      How thick are the windows? I would think better glass and sealing might be another option. If it’s new construction, sometimes they cheap out on the glass. If it’s an older home, sometimes the seal isn’t great.

      • Anon

        +1. I’d replace the windows if they’re builder-grade, or get them restored if they’re original to an older house.

      • Anon

        I agree that new windows are likely the answer. I stayed at a friend’s coop in Manhattan before and after window replacements. The interior noise went from feeling like I was on the street to the sense that I was in a tranquil spa, with only a occasional, distant siren breaking through. I was blown away that windows could make such a difference.

        • Anon

          OP here and yikes, these are new vinyl windows, so I guess I’m stuck with that. It’s a major road and this upstairs room is higher than the 1-story house next door which likely blocks the noise to the downstairs of the house (with the same vinyl windows). Downstairs has a lot of wood shutters on the windows also, so maybe that’s something to try upstairs (and then layer over curtains if needed; the shutters would help when the curtains are out to be washed)?

    • Anonymous

      How old are your windows? We were stunned how much quieter our house was when we replaced our old windows (80s?) with new high-quality double-glazed.

      To answer your actual question, heavy cloth will be far better than hard surfaces at noise reduction.

    • Anon

      It may be a dated look, but I got great temperature and sound control with two inch wooden slat blinds and curtains over. The curtain material came from an upholstery fabric shop and was very thick.

      • Anon

        Oh dear, two inch wooden slat blinds are dated? That’s one of those things I’ve always thought never go out of style.

        • lost academic

          Really? As a migraine sufferer I layer blackout curtains over blinds all the time. I didn’t realize it was dated – unless it’s more the traditional curtain on a window with blinds.

          That said I clearly don’t care as much since it’s all about creating a cave :)

      • Anon at 10:57

        It’s a bit of an old money rich people look. It is not “on trend”. It is very effective for insulation. The problem might be if it doesn’t go with the rest of your decor. I wonder whether lighter wood blinds and a duck cloth canvas like curtain might look a little more modern? It allowed me to keep old, original, and drafty windows without them being a problem

    • Not Op

      I had this exact problem and nothing really solved it. I got a noise machine but am going to probably move because after 8 years of bad sleep I am over it.

    • Anonymous

      We have a lot of road noise and I don’t think the window treatments make a bit of difference. We have both wooden blinds and cellular shades in different rooms. So I would just get what you like.

    • Anon

      If you don’t want the expense or hassle of altering walls (or are renting), you could try acoustic tiles (some options on Amazon or other brands/companies online) hanging on the walls near the windows. I agree with others that curtains/fabric will absorb sounds lots better than blinds, but do see the point about having both to give coverage while washing curtains.

  4. Ashley

    What are your favorite “things” from 2023? Was just having a convo w friends about our favorite purchases/items/finds/
    services, thought it would be fun to ask this group! Can be anything.

    • Cb

      As I am micellar water shampoo. I did always think curly hair shampoo was a scam but my hair has been so lovely and wavy when using this.
      And big deep ramen bowls. I’m a kitchen minimalist but we got a set of 4 (all blue and white but different patterns) and they are so much nicer than a pasta bowl for rice or noodles.

    • ALT

      I switched my collagen powder from unflavored to chocolate and it makes my morning coffee feel a bit like an indulgent treat. The unflavored always had a bit of a weird aftertaste even with creamer and the chocolate does not.

    • Anonymous

      EOS SPF lip balm; Stonewall Kitchen candles. The candles aren’t as $$ as the bougie brands and smell terrific.

    • Anon88

      – A set of four little blue and white bowls from IKEA https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/entusiasm-bowl-patterned-blue-70417241/
      – Stillwater Floral quilt from Schoolhouse https://www.schoolhouse.com/collections/quilts-coverlets/products/stillwater-floral-quilt?variant=40027850047532
      – Vintage Gerald Thurston for Lightolier from Etsy
      – O’keefe’s working hands – my hands always crack and are painfully dry this time of year and this is the only hand cream that works

    • Anon

      Finally switching to one of those silly-looking coil hair ties. Way, way less breakage. Getting a (secondhand, simple) rice cooker. Now I feel like I was living in 1820 making rice in a pot.

      • Anon

        I haven’t tried those twisty hair ties. It seems like they’d pull the hair out! I may not be understanding how they work.

        • 2bu

          I have thin, baby fine hair. The coil hair ties barely ever cause damage or breakage. They are awesome. I stick to those and satin scrunchies to keep my shoulder length hair healthy.

    • A.

      A wonderful new friend who’s now a huge part of my life! My Nespresso machine and milk frother. Tretorn sneakers (cute, comfortable, not expensive).

      • Anon

        I got the Nespresso machine for Christmas (a Veruto model) and everyone is obsessed with it!

    • Anonymous

      Mine are all things I’ve bought second-hand. A costume necklace from the 1930s, a vintage Christmas brooch, and a jewellery box that looks like a tiny chest of drawers.

  5. Anonymous

    Flying into JFK and nervous because I usually get carsick in the cab ride to the city, particularly if the driver is more erratic with stoping and starting. Is car service likely to be any better? Any recommendations?

    • Anon

      I have to put my phone away. Like look at it never. And keep the window cracked. Cold air really helps me. But it is anything I’m in the backseat of. I really need to drive any car I’m in but that doesn’t work in NYC.

      You could fly into Newark and take trains in. That’s the only other thing that might help but it will take longer.

      • anon

        Be sure to take your coat off before getting in, as well as cracking the window. Being too warm is a big airsickness trigger for me. And agreed, don’t look at your phone at all.

    • anon

      Take the airtrain to the long island railroad. You’ll save yourself $50 and not get sick.

      • Anon

        This or dramamine (if you can tolerate it). Sometimes peppermint/sharp smells help me fend it off, too.

    • NYCer

      I, too, get carsick in cabs quite often. For me, car service does make a difference. Nicer car, a bit more space usually, more neutral smell. I use Legends Limousine from NYC area airports.

        • NYCer

          I have never used Legends to midtown, only to our apartment which is uptown. On our most recent trip (LGA), it was ~$100 including gratuity, tolls and a car seat. I think the car seat adds $10-15. For Newark which has higher tolls due to the tunnel, it is usually around $150 all in. Definitely more expensive than a cab, but worth it for us for the reliable drivers, car seats (this is the big one) and nicer cars. On their website, you can plug in your addresses and get a quoted price.

    • Anon

      Car service is notably better for my motion sickness than ubers or cabs. If not available or cost prohibitive, I usually go up to a higher service tier on Uber which helps a lot too.

      • anon

        Uber black will be the same as a car service. Black drivers have town car or limo licenses.

    • roxie

      getting off a plane and then having to sit in a long car ride is so demoralizing, I truly relate.
      I second the window cracking, no phone ( maybe have a podcast already queued so you dont have to look at it?) and also maybe those ginger candies!

      But as others note, the train also works!

    • Anonymous

      I recently started using No-Dose Dramamine and it works for me. From a fellow sufferer.

    • CR

      I lived this for years when I lived in NYC. I discovered the Air Train and never looked back. Yeah, it took me longer — and I spent that time enjoying a book and the air conditioning. It was a fraction the price, but I would have paid twice as much as the cab for this much more pleasant experience!

  6. Anonymous

    Heading to the Colorado mountains for a week in July and considering a day at front end in Denver to held with acclimating to altitude. If you had a day in Denver, how would you spend it?

    • Cat

      Idk that I’d bother unless there’s something you really want to do in Denver. Just plan to take it easy your first day, drink lots of water, and careful with alcohol.

      • Anon

        +1 I live in the Midwest and visit a Colorado mountain town for a week almost every summer. We just drive straight there from the Denver airport every time. Denver is a fun town and certainly has a lot to explore if you want time there. But, I don’t think bundling in the time to adjust is necessary unless you’d otherwise like to be in Denver for a bit.

    • Anonymous

      We did a food tour that was a lot of fun walking around the city center, plus included some breweries. If you’re worried about altitude, I think this a great idea and has helped coming from sea level in the past.

    • Anon

      I went to Aspen with my kid last fall and was very glad we had a day in Denver to acclimate. We only did kid stuff (zoo and science museum) so I don’t have activity recs, but I think it’s smart to plan a day there. We had breakfast at Biscuit & Co and loved the cinnamon rolls.

    • anecdata

      Denver stuff
      – Rocky Mountain Arsenal natl. wildlife reserve is a cool place to see the plains ecosystem (bison!) – there’s a few short paths as well as a driving loop for wildlife viewing
      – Red Rocks: you can hike and climb around at the amphitheater when there’s not a concert (go early before it’s very hot). There’s a cool short walk to dinosaur fossil just on the other side of 470 too
      – Wings over the Rockies: aviation museum
      – rent bikes and go along the south platte trail (if you are into space stuff, aim for the old SpaceX rocket on display in Littleton)
      – drinks at a rooftop bar for sunset over the mountains
      – Rockies game – Won’t be good baseball but tickets are cheap and a great view (sit on the east side facing the mountains)

      • Anon

        Wings Over the Rockies is so cool. I took my elementary schooler there and I think I enjoyed it more than she did.

    • roxie

      morning/coffee/breakfast at Denver Central Market; maybe some time at or around union station for lunch. head to uptown neighborhood for the best vegan restaurant around, even for non vegans, Watercourse. My favorite store is there too – Talulah Jones.

      See if something is going on at Brown palace hotel?

      I love red rocks but it’s not denver and it’s not what you should do if your goal is elevation acclimation. I’d keep things chill and low-key.

  7. Anonymous

    Blowout location near Carnegie Hall? I have a fancy event there this fall and would like to get a “do” -for it any recommendations? Am from out of town and have no idea where to even start looking.

    • Anon

      That guy assaulted his coach and seems like he has real anger issues. If that’s how he behaves in public, it must be worse behind closed doors. I can’t root for them as a couple and sincerely hope she’s ok.

      • Anonymous

        No he didn’t, his coach loves him, football is a physical sport. This is a dumb take by people looking for drama. Andy Reid literally addressed it and was unbothered.

        • Anon

          No doubt he loves him b/c he can really deliver on the field. But I bet the accounting staff doesn’t get to treat Andy Reid like that.

          • Anon

            Andy Reid basically the exact same thing to Travis Kelce just a few months ago and I doubt he treats the accounting staff that way either.

            These are all big dudes (Coach Reid included) and they show each other around all the time

      • Anon

        First, Brock Purdy has such an amazing story. I wanted the 49ers to win even though I am not usually a fan. And the Chiefs really seemed to crumble early when they realized how tough the 49ers were going to be. I really thinks that Travis Kelce blew up his brand last night even though his team won. If I were Andy Reid, I’d have benched him on principle (and I get why he didn’t). He must be a much better person than I am b/c I have not seen a peep out of Andy Reid and I’d love to know what he is really thinking. Travis Kelce’s sister-in-law IMO is the best Kelce.

        • Anonymous

          He spoke about it last night and was not bothered. And the 49ers played great but not well enough to win.

          • Anon

            Dumb move for a guy who will want to trade on his brand for the next few decades after football. I’m not 10:06 but I feel like I’d spend my celebrity endorsement dollars elsewhere (other Kelce brother seems hilarious and not a drama llama or anyone else in football or any other sport).

          • anon

            Yeah, I don’t believe it. Of all the things you don’t do, shoving your coach is up there.

          • Anon

            I hate on Philly sports all the time but she is a gem in her loyalty to her husband (would wear his jersey if he had played elsewhere) and to Philly teams.

      • Anon

        Yeah I know it’s football and it’s the biggest game of his career, but that … was not good. He shoved his boss!

        • anonymous

          Really? I mean I can see both sides of this, aggressive game and players and also wow, that seemed not typical at the same time. I don’t think being concerned is some crazy reaction.

      • Miz Swizz

        I played a semi-competitive club sport, so not nearly Super Bowl level, and I have seen people that fired up in the championship game. Mind you, this is a co-ed, mostly non-contact sport. I don’t know enough about Kelce to know if it was a heat of the moment thing or a worrying pattern but emotions were high and I didn’t find it particularly surprising.

          • Anonymous

            He bumped into him on a crowded sideline where people make contact all the time. There’s a reason Andy Reid was unbothered and the announcers weren’t going on about it the whole game and he was up on the podium. If you want huge dudes fired up to play a physical game, and then one is real fired up because he wants you to put him in, that is not a crisis in the world of football.

          • Anon

            +1 I don’t think it’s a big deal to get emotional and yell, but the shoving is different.

          • Anon

            Right? Andy Reid looks like a nice senior citizen. It’s a bad look shoving an old guy. The whole game was a bit too personal-foul-y and it looks like the Chiefs are only good sports when they are winner and true sportsmanship happens when you aren’t. Big failures for Travis Kelce and many other players last night.

          • Anon

            I don’t recall many personal fouls, and none that were egregious. It was a pretty clean game (for football! Which is physical!)

          • Anon

            It only got attention on social media and that’s the reason everyone knows about it. During the game it was a non event. The coach thought it was a non event too. Stop getting your information from what Gen Zers post.

          • Anon

            Um, Andy Reid is not, like, your frail neighborhood peepaw who spends his time whistling on the front porch and will blow over with a strong wind. He’s worked with giant angry men for decades, leading them in a sport that revolves around violence. He is fine. He said as much, and I don’t think he’s an abuse victim who is just saying that for the cameras.

            And “I hope she’s okay” is quite over the top. She is fine. I wouldn’t date him, but I don’t think that interaction shows anything about their relationship other than he’s probably obnoxious in general.

      • Anon

        Look whether you like professional football or nor, whether you think it is OK or not, that kind of thing happens all the time on the sidelines. What happens if anyone on the team thinks it is going to escalate beyond yelling and shoving, is that they get between the coach and the player and drag one or both of them off (Tom Brady had a memorable incident with Bill O’Brien that did not come to blows because about four people got between them and they later did a hysterical interview about it).

        Kirk Cousins and Mike Zimmer did it and it was news because they already had a rumored bad relationship. Heck Tyreek Hill once shoved one of the coaching staff and everyone laughed about it. This is a social media tempest in a tea cup. Based on what Reid said it sounds like he usually would give as good as he gets but was caught off balance.

      • It's me.

        Wait do you actually know any conservatives? Are they pissed? (Please resist the urge to nut pick. It is not helpful. This conservative is not mad, nor are any of her conservative friends or family.)

        • Anonymous

          No one is touching anyone’s nuts. Conservatives have been all over the media about this. I’m
          Glad you’re not one of them but you don’t get to pretend they don’t exist.

        • Anon

          Same! I’m a conservative. I love sports. I love people who work hard and succeed. I love when people fall in love and make a good match.

      • Anon

        What conservatives? I keep seeing comments like this, but I am pretty darned conservative and follow lots of conservative commentators, and I’ve not seen any of this Taylor-hating conspiracy stuff from legit (or even semi-legit) conservatives with any audience. Everyone I know thinks they’re cute together. There is actually a lot to like about them if you are conservative. Could Taylor’s endorsement sway an election? Maybe, but that’s hardly a conspiracy. It reminds me of the alleged outrage over the video of AOC dancing when she was in college. No actual conservatives were outraged. The outrage was manufactured by her supporters to make conservatives look like lunatics. Both sides have plenty of lunatics without manufacturing any more.

    • Anon

      I feel like Travis Kelce needs to queue up the Bud Light redemption arc people (their commercial I thought was quite good).

    • Anon

      Maybe yelling at your coach and shoving him is OK among pro football players and staff, but I caught a picture of that on my phone mid-game and have to admit that I do not feel the same re Travis Kelce now. Big needle scratch on the record for me.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah this makes sense if you know nothing about football and refuse to listen to people who do. Andy Reid can more than handle himself.

        • Anon

          My husband watches NFL regularly (I watch football a lot too, but only college) and he said it was out of line. It seems like Andy Reid is pretty chill and didn’t get upset about it, which is great, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was gross behavior on Kelce’s part.

        • anonymous

          That’s not really the issue though. It’s whether he’s a scary, aggressive guy when he’s upset IRL. If it’s contained to the field, okay whatever sports. If it’s not, that’s the question.

          • Anon

            It’s so at odds with the reputation he has. Maybe that is very carefully crafted and edited? But it’s like a lot of celebrity meeting fails — what they are billed as may be not what actually is. TK doesn’t have the “troubled” reputation that a lot of players have had, so it was a bit of a surprise to me that that was what I remember most from this. That and that Dunkin should ask for its $ back.

          • anonymous

            Yeah I wonder what’s in his background. He was suspended for a year early in his career, which he said was MJ related but the team didn’t give a reason. The 49ers passed on him because of it. Dunno, but I’d be thinking twice if I was Taylor.

          • Anon

            I think the suspension in college was just for pot, which doesn’t seem like a big deal for a college kid.

        • Anon

          It’s truly wild seeing people excuse Kelce’s actions. If it was anyone else but him, the conversation would be totally different.

          • Anon

            I definitely think the reaction would be VERY different if a Black player did this!

          • Anon

            1:44 I agree. But the defense would be “white players do this all the time, it’s a part of sports!” I’m thinking of female college basketball players who have been pegged as aggressive or intimidating lately, and the response from allies is to point out that white players do the same. It’s not to say “this is terrible and nobody should do it”

          • Anonymous

            100%. A.J. Brown said he’d have been kicked out of the league if he did the same.

  9. Anon

    My bank has started charging a $30 monthly service fee for my checking account. I’ve banked with them for 25 years and find this so annoying. Are all banks doing this now? Is it worth shopping around? Can you get a better offer from another bank and get your current bank to match it?

    • Anon

      Is there a minimum balance that gets you out of it that you could easily keep? If not, I’d call to get it waived (if you don’t ask, you won’t get), but then I’d shop and not feel bad.

    • anon

      That is bonkers and I would switch institutions. I’ve never heard of a credit union pulling this kind of stunt. I think 0 fee is standard.

    • Anonymous

      Most banks will waive the fee for a very low minimum balance. Shop around. You can try calling them too, maybe they’ll waive it for you.

      FWIW our bank of america account has free checking and the small local bank my kids’ girl scout troop uses has a $5/month maintenance fee if your account balance is under $100.

    • Anon

      See if there is any way to get the fee waived (direct deposit $x per month, keep a certain minimum balance, etc. $30 seems high unless the account is offering a lot of extra features, do you use those? If not, maybe you could downgrade to a different type of checking account.

    • Anon

      Many banks do this, unless you meet a certain criteria like having your paycheck directly deposited, or perhaps having a savings acct with a min balance. You could ask them if there’s a way around it. We use Chase, which is free with paycheck direct deposit

    • Anon

      Yes, free checking has become less available for a variety of reasons (basically, banks have fewer other ways to subsidize the cost of offering checking due to market and regulatory changes). Usually you can get around it by either keeping a higher balance or going to an account with fewer features.

    • Anon

      Are you sure you’re actually going to be charged? My bank instituted this too, but like everyone says, if you have a fairly low balance it doesn’t apply.

      Anyway, yeah, everyone does this. This is why we need legislation reining in junk fees.

    • anon

      Yeah, its really absurd. I am with Chase and I think I have to keep a balance of at least $15,000 in my checking/savings, which is a lot to have sitting in poor interest rates. I am only keeping it only while I settle some estate things, and then all of my banking is via Fidelity, where I use it for check writing/savings/brokerage/credit card etc…

    • Anon

      No. I have multiple checking accounts and do not pay monthly fees. Ally and a local credit union.

    • Anon

      It’s typical to waive the fee with a certain minimum balance. If they won’t do that, definitely shop around.

    • Anonymous

      was it Chase by any chance? I just had a $15 service fee that was refunded almost immediately because they screwed up and charged everyone this month.

      in general most banks will waive the fee if you meet one or some of these requirements: minimum balance, number of deposits per month, attached credit card, etc. if this bank won’t look elsewhere.

    • Sasha

      That’s insane. I switched to Discover years back and love it. You can have two checking accounts (helpful for separating money into bills/necessities vs spending money) with no minimum balance, no monthly fees, nothing. Only downside is they have no physical branches, and their debit cards don’t work abroad. I just order the local currency in advance for cash and that solves it.

  10. Heartsick

    My partner and I split a few months ago and the breakup has been really hard for me. I think I’ve been doing pretty well with coping and have gotten to a good place. For some reason (maybe Valentine’s Day approaching?) I have been really missing him and the relationship even though I know things have run their course and I need to move on. I feel like I’ve taken a step backwards in my healing. Any words of wisdom or suggestions?

    • Anon

      Just that this is normal and breakup healing isn’t linear. Just because you’re feeling you’ve taken a step backwards this week doesn’t mean that in two weeks you won’t bounce back.

    • anonymous

      Buy yourself some flowers and get a mani pedi or whatever else makes you feel good.

    • Anon

      My path to recovery post divorce was anything but linear. The first of any given holiday, anniversary, etc, was especially hard for me, even when I though I was in a good place. Just because you’re struggling now does not mean you’ve gone backwards!

      Buy yourself a special dessert or treat yourself this week. This stage is just one more step towards healing.

      • MidgeLaw

        Agree with all this. Also so sorry you’re feeling this way – it truly sucks. Talking to friends helped me because they reminded me why I was better off without my ex. And I second the recommendation of outdoor/active time to boost your mood.

  11. Anon

    I’ve tried several natural deodorants and none have worked for me in the end (turns out I do prefer the moisture control of an antiperspirant), but one thing I strongly prefer about them is the far less “chemical-y” fragrances. Is there an antiperspirant out there that has a light, non-plastic-y, fresh fragrance? I’ve gotten so much more sensitive to fake fragrances as I’ve gotten older and this is an area I can now see could be improved.

      • Anon

        I’ve found that unscented options ultimately leave me with a BO odor. Are there any you’ve found that do a good job avoiding that?

        • Anon

          I use Secret clinical strength free and sensitive and it seems to work well. They call it unscented and it used to truly be unscented, but now it has a very slight smell, though not enough to be noticeable.

          • Anonymous

            +1 for Secret clinical strength free and scented. I find that the scented versions actually make me stinkier.

        • Anon

          Dove unscented works for me (and I feel similar to you about the natural options)

        • Anon

          Unscented does not give you more BO. You’re just used to so-called “clean” fragrance, which is all branding of the added fragrance.

    • Anon

      I’ve had better luck finding unscented antiperspirants if I look at the men’s section, FYI. All the ones for women smell like baby powder or worse.

    • Anon

      Degree shower fresh movement activated something or other. The smell isn’t very strong. It’s a solid antiperspirant/deodorant.

    • Anon

      I have yet to find one that doesn’t smell disgusting, so I always buy unscented.

    • Anon

      Mitchum Men’s Unscented gel antiperspirant is the only one I’ve found that works and whose scent (or lack thereof) doesn’t bother me. (The women’s ones still smell weird to me and don’t work as well.)

    • Cora

      I like the dove 0% aluminum ones – I’m not one to use natural deoderants but I bought these tbh by accident and I prefer the texture and the light scent.

      • Anon

        By your definition a “natural” deodorant is just one without anti-perspirant.

    • Anon

      I didn’t react badly to Secret’s “Delicate Rose” gel scent (and am sensitive enough I’ve had to toss products in the past for giving me headaches).

    • CR

      I’ve been using Almay Unscented for years as it was given a very non-toxic rating from the Environmental Working Group’s Cosmetic Database.

  12. Anon

    Most older people in my family have had pensions (public school teachers or through work) that were small but reliable and also social security. My generation is the first that will have to manage not only funding 401Ks but also not running them into the ground once we are older (so maybe 100% in index stock funds is bad at some point and maybe you should have laddered CDs). Any good sources for managing the back half of your financial life, the sort where you are withdrawing and not just saving? I have some runway left, but that coincides with kids in college due to having them later, so I want to know what I’m heading into so I don’t bypass anything I should be doing.

    I feel like we do well telling people in their 20s and 30s to save and then it’s the same message into your 40s and beyond, which seems to be likely missing something (but what?).

    • Anon

      Bogelheads. Lots of discussion on the spending side as well as the savings side.

      • Anonymous

        i looked the other day and was a bit overwhelmed – is there a place you recommend looking in particular for retirement advice there?

    • Anonymous

      So you’re looking for advice on saving for retirement in your 40s if you strip all the meandering out. And that’s actually pretty easy to find if you google it or hire a financial planner. This is not some new thing no one has thought of.

      • Anon

        For planners, I see a lot of certifications and descriptions. Which ones are the ones? It all feels like code or shorthand to me.

        • In-House Anon

          If you’re looking for professional advice, you would want to find a certified financial planner (CFP). Make sure the person is a fiduciary to you, and has a flat rate or hourly fee, rather than commission-based compensation. There should be directories and you can ask around for personal recommendations.

        • anon

          It is quite challenging to find a good fee-only financial planner.
          Every good rec I have gotten for really good folks lately isn’t taking any new clients – and be aware they are not cheap per hour, but at least they aren’t taking a % of your net worth every year.

          When I have sought them on my own, by search on the websites that are for certified financial planners, fiduciaries etc… I have not had great luck. Agree that word of mouth is the most valuable, but even many of my smart friends have made poor financial choices in their finances because they chose the wrong person.

      • Anon

        Maybe but I set out in life not realizing that I need to take a pot of money and manage it like it’s a very small pension fund. But without a PBGC guaranty. TBH, most states / cities massively underfund their pensions, so IDK why we have gone to a system where we expect random citizens to manage this. I’m wishing us all luck!

    • anon a mouse

      This is a great question, and as I near the midpoint of my working career I’m thinking about it more and more. I think I’m traumatized by 2008 where my entire portfolio — which was largely invested in “good” index funds — lost 40% of value and my home value was cut in half in a very short amount of time. A black swan event? Maybe. But if that happened when I was early in retirement, it would be life-altering (and no one would be hiring a 60-something workforce reentrant if the economy had tanked, the competition would be too strong). I’ve probably put more of my funds in cash than advisable for my age — still a relatively small amount but I’m prioritizing stability over returns. Social security will absolutely not be enough to live on when I reach retirement age and I need to make sure that my savings lasts (people in my family often live well into their 90s – it’s crazy to think about having to stretch my retirement funds for 30 years or more).

      • Anon

        It happened to my parents, who retired in 2006 or 2007… but they sat tight, markets roared back, and they now have more money than they started with. If you had $100 in the the S&P 500 in 2007, you’d now have $437. The key thing is being able to make it through the down periods without having to sell too much.

        • Anon

          “Having to sell too much” is what scares me — I was reading about how you have to take mandatory distributions from IRAs, so this could be really bad in a down year or several years. I guess the key is to have a lot of other $ in non-IRA / 401K accounts so that you decide when you use that $ (and keep that untouched, using tax-deferred accounts first).

          • Anon

            I think the mandatory withdrawals start at 70.5 for 401ks too. But you can take the withdrawals and reinvest in another fund, although you might lose the tax advantages. And you’ll be investing low by definition.

          • Anon

            Exactly, the key is to balance across accounts. And you can always re-buy low priced stocks after taking IRA distributions, so you’re not forced to lock in those losses, which you don’t have take until you’re in your 70s anyway. And those IRA distributions don’t have to be stocks, so there’s really nothing that forces you to sell stock at a loss unless you need the money and don’t have an alternative. Hopefully you’ve saved enough to avoid that, though obviously you could still get really unlucky and have a catastrophic health event or something else (divorce, family crisis?) that requires you to sell your house and liquidate a lot of assets all at once at exactly the time that all markets have crashed. But trying to plan for that kind of scenario will mean sacrificing a lot of market gains and giving up on doing fun things now, so doesn’t really make sense for most people.

          • Anon

            You have to take required minimum distributions from 401k, 403b, etc plans beginning the year you turn 73. But it’s not a large amount of money. Also you don’t have to *spend* the money. You can turn around and reinvest it. Basically it just means you have to pay taxes on it.

  13. Agurk

    The product manager for a product my team supports (which is quite delayed for various IT related reasons) has apparently been telling all our stakeholders and my own leadership that the delays are my team’s fault. The delays are ZERO percent attributable to my team, and in fact we have never been late on anything. If anything the delays are due to the PM’s incompetence and inability to navigate the organization. Any suggestions for damage control strategies that don’t devolve into he said/she said? I have never dealt with this kind of blatant misrepresentation in the workplace before

    • Anonymous

      Make sure you and your boss are 100% in sync on this. This can get politically sticky. Also, I’m old and tired of BS, but I’d just call them out on it in a private 1:1 meeting. Like dude(tte), what’s up? Help me understand how you think this is my team’s fault.

      Source: used to be a product manager, used to run product (VP), used to run product & IT (EVP). Now happily a consultant to all of the above and out of that mess. :)

      • Anon

        I am in Product Mgmt and would love to chat with you. If you are interested please give out a burner email. Thank you.

    • Cat

      While not strictly your job, do consider whether there were any back-channel comms that might have led to a better outcome? Like if you knew the PM was incompetent could you have put in a quiet word with the business owner that they needed more coaching on how different teams work together or whatever?

      Option 1 – talk to your manager if you know they’re one of the people who got an earful. Sound open minded for best result. “Hey, I caught wind that PM is saying my team was the hold-up on a bunch of deliverables. Do you have any idea where that’s coming from?”

      Option 2 – talk to the PM. Similar script. “Hey, my manager asked me about Deliverables XYZ since you mentioned my team was late with them. I thought we’d met the planned timelines – what am I missing?”

  14. helloanon

    Would love to hear from anyone working in sales about what you like and dislike about it, especially if you moved into sales from a different type of role.
    Background: I have an opportunity to make the move to a sales role in my current org. My current position has some sales-related aspects to it but is more of a revenue supporting than a revenue generating role. I know the industry very well (legal) and love my company and the product we are selling. My biggest hesitation is probably centered on whether my personality is a fit for sales longterm.

    • anonymous

      I wouldn’t want to sell anything that doesn’t essentially sell itself. There’s a zillion legal products out there and very few that are widely adopted. If your pay is commission based, I’d be wary and get a real sense of the market before moving.

    • Anonymous

      I’m very clear that my personality doesn’t lend itself to a sales role — both because I dislike the very act of selling something, and I dislike having my income dependent on whether I manage to get someone to buy.

      How strong of a match/mismatch is this role for your personality?

    • Anonymous

      I’m in sales and project management, and I manage an our sales team. Sales roles can widely vary widely.

      I like my sales job because it’s all about long term relationships, I sell services and products that are essential to municipal functions, and my company is highly focused on the long term – so we not only want to do the project in the short term, but we also want to be the company that you call back in 5-10-15-20 years.

      I also buy from a lot of sales people (we resell and integrate a lot of pieces of equipment into large systems). My most favorite sales account manager ever was a guy who was extremely awkward, had a hard time making eye contact, but knew his products in and out and also went to bat with me on projects. I must not have been the only one of his customers that liked him because was the #1 sales person of his larger company one year. He really doesn’t have the “sales personality” but that really doesn’t matter – He was just extremely effective at identifying solutions to my actual needs.

      I personally wouldn’t take a sales job where I worked on commission, was focused on short term sales to meet a number, sold to consumers, sold a “bonus” product that wasn’t an essential service/product, or had to meet quotas.

      • Anonymous

        A few other very random thoughts – again all based in my industry which is not legal – I’m in environmental tech contracting.

        Ask about what the sales process is like to get a few for what your day to day is like. How are clients identified? Communicated with? Will you go to trade shows? Be involved in associations? All online? Site visits?

        For example, some of the businesses in my industry encourage their sales people to be super involved in associations, not only attending trade shows but being actively involved in association committees and planning events. Other businesses in my industry are more “show me the sales to support this trade show” – it’s like the black and white accounting decisions drive the sales decisions. Personally our company is the first version and we find it is completely beneficial to the reputation and relationship building, which turns into bigger projects and longterm sales. Do you want to be an industry figure? A sales position in a company that supports association involvement is a really good way to build a network.

        Another thing that we think about a lot is what the general reputation and position of the company is in the industry. I know nothing about legal and am in an entirely different industry, so perhaps this doesn’t translate. But in our industry, it’s much easier for me to sell our projects because our reputation is very good. We also vet our suppliers pretty thoroughly because it’s our name on the line. I would hesitate to work at some of the companies in my industry.

        Another business ethos thing that makes my sales job a good one: My company is also prepared to walk away from projects that don’t fit our schedule or that we don’t have a good solution for. It’s not often, but if it doesn’t feel right – my bosses are receptive to not chasing every thing. They want our team to be set up well to win and do well, not just win and flail. This is very different than some of my competitors.

        Regarding organization and daily tasks: will you be outside sales? do you complete your own proposals quotes, or do you have an inside sales team member who does this? what is the process? who is actually responsible for what? What is the knowledge level of the inside sales team? Do they need to be told by you exactly what to quote, or do they have the experience level to put it together?

    • Anonymous

      I have been in different types of sales roles my whole career and I would echo a lot of what other responders have said.

      I love it because I love people and getting to solve their problems. I wouldn’t be interested in selling something I don’t believe in and that doesn’t evolve into a longer term relationship.

      I would also make sure you know the comp plan. If it’s base plus commission or a bonus that is ideal. Most of the time I don’t recommend people take a commission only role.

      I would also ask a lot about what success looks like in this role. Sales can be a lot of hours because you tend to be on call, and a lot of travel. What does that mean in this role? Do they want you to close 50 deals a year, or do they understand that the sales cycle is longer? What kind of sales training will you get?

      If you take this have fun! Sales can be super fun and rewarding!

  15. anon for this

    Healthcare question. I developed a condition and now need to take a medication that apparently is subject to supply chain disruptions. After nearly 3 weeks, I finally found it near me at a small independent pharmacy. The pharmacy informed me that they would fill the prescription, but instead of my $50 copay they would charge $175 because insurance doesn’t cover their cost to get the drug. My insurance is quite good generally, and the insurance site says very clearly, X drug at Y pharmacy will cost $50.

    Is this allowed? Can I file a claim with my insurer for the overage? It’s a big difference for something I will need to fill regularly, and likely for the rest of my life. (Yes I will be looking into different prescription plans at the next open season, my current one does not offer mail order for this prescription.)

    • Anon

      This may be a stupid question, but have you checked with the mail order pharmacy that your insurance contracts with? This may be an instance where you contact your insurance (or look on their website) for assistance in finding a more convenient pharmacy.

      • anon for this

        I have. Apparently the mail-order benefits only cover certain classes of drugs and this one doesn’t qualify, at least not this year.
        My insurance lists 18 pharmacies within a 25-mile radius of me that take their insurance and ostensibly have this medication. However, after weeks of searching, only this one had a shipment scheduled from the distributor. So they have me over a barrel.

    • Anon

      Call your pharmacy and see how to file a claim for the difference between $50 and $175. They should have a form or something.

      Call the manufacturer and see if they have a “frequent purchaser” program.

      • Anon

        Sorry – that first one should be call your pharmacy insurance company (different than your medical insurance company).

    • Anonymous

      They are just charging you an extra fee because they can. Insurance won’t reimburse this

      • Anon

        It sounds like they also don’t have a deal worked out with the insurer (the way the other pharmacies do). This may just be what it costs without deals and discounts.

    • Anon

      Have you checked Mark Cuban’s online pharmacy? I forget the exact name but a simple internet search will get you there. Much cheaper than average.

  16. Anon

    Has anyone had plantar fasciitis surgery? I’m having it in 2 weeks after years of non-surgical methods not helping. Just curious what your recovery time was like. I’m actually starting a new job 2 weeks after the surgery so I’m nervous about that. They said I’ll be on crutches for 2 weeks and in a walking boot for 6 weeks. This surgery will be my right foot, with the left foot being done in the future.

    • KS IT Chick

      I had it in 2015. I was on crutches for a week and couldn’t drive for 3 weeks. The stitches were annoying, between the itching and needing to keep everything dry.

      I would have the surgery done again if non-surgical interventions weren’t working. I spent 25 years dealing with the pain in my right foot.

    • Anon

      My husband had the surgery. He had the kind where they go in through a tiny incision on the calf, and they lengthen the fascia by cutting partway through it. This is different than the sole of the foot surgery. Husband was on crutches for a weekend.

  17. Anonymous

    Related to the retirement question above, I am curious. There often seems to be a push (here and in other places) for a fee only financial planner. I am likely biased, as I’ve used a financial planner for many years now who takes a yearly 1% of assets under management fee and I think he is great. I struggle to see why this set up is not viewed as favorably? We have quarterly meetings for portfolio status check and email throughout the year with questions we have. I don’t feel like our financial picture is super complicated, we just don’t want to spend the effort doing it ourselves. What are the amounts these fee only planners charge, because I feel like I get my money’s worth out of our planner? Unless these fee only planners are charging a lot less than I’m thinking they are. My planner also manages our backdoor Roth IRA accounts (making the correct moves so we don’t run afoul of anything) in addition to helping us with rebalancing 401(k)s, HSA investment accounts, and our general stock portfolio.

    • Anon

      IDK, but I have a lot of assets that I don’t think a planner would “manage,” like 2 rental properties that are $$$ but IDK what a planner would do with them when I deal with the tenants and the leasing and would hire a property manager who does just that if I couldn’t. I wouldn’t see how paying a manager a % of those assets would help me or be worthwhile and yet those are a big picture for me in retirement b/c at some point I will either need the rental income or will sell them and then invest the $ (or pay off my mortgage on the house I live in now).

      I’m a “set it and forget it” sort of investor, so maybe I don’t see how actively anything would be managed? I keep a big minimum in one mutual fund just to it be tax advantaged with much lower fees.

      • Anon

        The fee structure is a percentage os assets under management. Assets not under management, like rental properties in the post above, would not be subject to the asset management fee.

      • Anonymous

        OP here – just to clarify, our advisor takes a fee of the assets he directly manages, which means our investment accounts that are with him. This doesn’t include our 401(k) accounts through work or our HSA accounts (and my understanding is that this is pretty typical arrangement, but maybe it’s not). We’re looking into buying a rental property and he will be helping us figure out how much we should spend and that sort of thing, but that’s not consider, and won’t be considered, an asset that is “under management”. He will review our investment options that DH and I have within our 401(k)s and suggests what we should rebalance to, but doesn’t do it himself. He makes certain trades in our investment accounts (he does this on his own, we don’t direct him) and actively moves the money for the backdoor Roth IRA accounts, which we set up with him. Ultimately, I probably require more hand holding than others. I just feel like unless these fee only advisors charge $150 an hour, I’m not sure how far ahead doesn’t would come out using one of those.

        • Anon

          I would not be OK with an investment advisor making trades with my assets on his own. I would want every thing run by me. [From the one elder abuse seminar I went to, elder financial abuse is a real thing and people making $ churning your account can be a real thing to be wary of. It may be OK 99% of the time, but watch out for the 1%.]

    • Anonymous

      We use a fee-only fiduciary planner because it’s so much cheaper than paying 1% of our assets every year. 1% is a huge share of your returns to lose.

      • Anon

        Right – 1% over twenty years will be (approximately) 20% of your assets that are under management.

    • anonymous

      Because it’s not that hard to do yourself if you’re reasonably sophisticated.

    • Cat

      FWIW I don’t get the hate. My parents use a commission-based planner and love him. They see the 1% as a fantastic incentive for him to maximize their ROI and have been very happy with his advice and their portfolio.

      • Anonymous

        Fee-based means that you pay them, which is what it sounds like your parents have. Commission-based means that they make a commission on whatever they sell you, ostensibly paid by the seller. Flat fee means a fixed $ amount. Hourly fee means a $ amount per hour.

    • Anon

      Sounds like you are working with a fee-only financial planner. Maybe you’re thinking of the difference between a flat fee and % of aum.

        • Anonymous

          Not necessarily. It is a person who the client is paying. That could be a % of assets under management, a flat fee, or an hourly fee. There are also advisors who make a commission on what they sell you, which creates the wrong incentive.

    • Jo March

      I’m not a personal finance professional, so take this explanation with a grain of salt, but I see 3 options:
      1) You don’t know what you’re doing and invest your money blindly (worst/least informed route)
      2) you pay AUM, which is more costly than managing it yourself, but still yields better results than option 1
      3) you do the legwork of learning what to do and pay a fee-only advisor at a regular interval – cheaper than option 2 but if you take the time to learn, just as successful in terms of results

      So #2 is better than #1 but #3 is cheaper than #2 if you’re willing to do the legwork. A lot of people, from what I’ve come across online and in-person conversations, either don’t have the knowledge to pursue #3 or find it overwhelming/stressful and would rather pay more for peace of mind. Some of my friends who come from wealthier families simply go to the same financial advisors as their parents so it’s not an active decision.
      I think I read somewhere that past a certain threshold of assets, that flips and AUM may be cheaper than fee-only but I don’t know what level of wealth that would be.

    • PNW anon

      For me, I just think I manage my portfolios fine since all I’m doing is investing in mutual funds. My goal is to follow the market, not beat the market. Unless your financial planner is beating the market then you’re throwing 1% away for convenience, which is fine if you’re fine with it but for a $1mil portfolio that’s 10k per year, which isn’t chump change to me.

    • No Problem

      It’s not viewed favorably because it’s a carpton of money. If you have $1M under management, that’s $10,000 per year. You can pay a fee-only financial planner $400 an hour for 25! hours of work before you get to $10k, and that’s only considering the first $1M under management ($20k/year for $2M, etc.). It’s highly, highly unlikely that all of the things your planner manages for you adds up to over 25 hours (or 50 hours, or 100 hours…) per year. And if they’re “actively managing” your money, chances are extremely good that you’re underperforming the market, because there are vanishingly few active portfolio managers that actually beat the market (search the stats on that if you don’t take my word for it). Investment accounts (401(k)s, IRAs, HSAs, etc.) really only need to be rebalanced once or twice a year and should take at most a couple hours. You can do it yourself (I do) on the Vanguard/Fidelity/whatever website. Backdoor Roth should be similar in terms of low-effort time investment. Get yourself a fee-only financial advisor and/or a CPA and save yourself mountains of money.

      • Anonymous

        All of this, except that I will say it was extremely difficult to find someone who would work on a flat fee or hourly basis. I finally found a young guy who had just gotten his CFP wand was willing to do it. Apparently there are enough wealthy chumps out there who are willing to overpay that very few advisors are actually willing to work on any other basis than % of assets under management.

    • Anonymous

      Sounds like you have a fee only planner but his fee structure is a very expensive one (% of assets under management). I think I paid $750 for a one-time consultation on our retirement asset allocations, then went into the accounts and rebalanced them myself. Much, much cheaper to pay $750 once a year than, say, $20K per year on a $2M portfolio. And you are throwing away not just the $19,250 in extra fees but also the future returns on that $19,250. Another way to think about it: if your average yearly return is 5%, you are handing 1/5 of that return over to a person who probably spends an hour or two on your account every year and are reducing your effective rate of return to 4%. It just doesn’t make a lot of sense for the average investor who should be invested entirely in a very generic portfolio of index funds.

  18. Anon

    I think I hate my job – or maybe I’m just tired of working in general. I’m 40, so I still have time in front of me before retirement. What do I do? I’ve started looking for new jobs but haven’t really found anything. The things I’m qualified for would be more of the same with likely worse pay and benefits. It has occurred to me that I could do a complete career change, but is it worth it at this point? I’m not even sure I know what I would want to do.

    • AIMS

      My mom remarried and changed her whole career in her 40s and is happy with both decisions so I am definitely in the “it’s not too late” camp. But I think you have to figure out what you hate first and what would make it better for this to be a worthwhile pursuit or you’ll just end up because, where you started but with time/earnings lost to career change.

    • anon

      Unless you expect to be able to retire fairly young you have more of your working life ahead of you than you’ve already done, so it’s definitely worth considering a career change. I would do some deep contemplation on whether it is your job you hate or exhaustion/burnout and if so what might help fix the things you’re most struggling with (more or less peopling? Different working pattern? Different tasks? More purpose? Those kinds of things) and also think about what you do enjoy or find some kind of value in in your current job and go from there. Take some holiday if you can and make the time to really spend some time thinking about it.

    • PNW anon

      I didn’t change my entire career. I moved to an adjacent specialty with a different clientele base (not medical, but think pediatrics vs. geriatrics) and it has served me well in terms of sparking new joy and renewing my motivation. It’s a close enough transition that I don’t have to relearn everything but it’s different enough that I’m learning new things. It has its own challenges but I figure every job will come with some bs.

    • Anon

      This might not help, but I felt like you do in my 40’s. I ended up leaving the company I was with for 15 years for another company, but same job. Turns out I hated the company I was with, not the job itself.

    • Anon

      I quiet quit. I work just enough to not get fired, and find fulfillment from my life outside work.

    • Betsy

      The book Designing Your Life might have some helpful exercises for you in figuring out what to change and how dramatically it needs to change for you to be happier in your career.

  19. London afternoon tea

    We’re off to London in a couple weeks – family of four (including daughter age 12 and son age 7). We’re looking at afternoon tea either at the Dilly or Fortnum & Mason. Son may not enjoy the entire experience (he’s there only for the dessert rather than the experience, daughter is excited about just going for afternoon tea and doesn’t have a preference where) so not looking at the more upscale places like the Savoy or Langham. Between the Dilly and Fortnum & Mason, any recommendations? If it helps, we’re looking at places with a set veg menu and both of theirs looks great. F&M is also twice as expensive as Dilly which is a consideration. TIA!

    • Anon

      Brought my young teen daughter to F+M in London for tea last year, and it was *fantastic*! We are vegetarian, and the vegetarian spread was impressive and delicious. The pastries were so good! Haven’t tried the Dilly, but I would certainly take any (older) kiddos to F+M if given the chance.

    • Anon

      I would probably just go with whatever’s cheaper. Tea is tea, and it sounds like your kids aren’t that enthusiastic about it anyway.

    • RiskedCredit

      F&M is a shadow of its former self. Depending on your budget, I recommend the best menu lunch at the Ritz. It’s easier to get a reservation and it’s an amazing experience. The cost difference is not huge. For the children they have a menu for them. My children LOVED the knickerbocker glory.

    • Anonymous

      If they like Alice in Wonderland, there is a Mad Hatter tea at Sanderson Hotel. They do vegan.

      Your main problem might be being able to book – some places you’d need to book months in advance.

      I wouldn’t spend F&M prices on people who aren’t super exited. I have been, and loved it, but I’ve loved more basic afternoon teas more.

  20. Business lady

    The way that origination credit works at my law firm really promotes people acting individually, even when collaboration would make more sense. Like if I have a relationship at Company A and my colleague wants to pitch them, they won’t want to bring me in or leverage my relationship because then they’d have to split origination credit – which is cutting off our nose to spite our face because I could make it more likely we actually land the client. Is this just how it is? Are there any firms that do it differently?

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