Suit of the Week: Alexander McQueen

131 Comments

1. Looks like the name and email auto-fill is back. Thanks, Kat!

   P.S. The model above forgot her shirt.

   P.P.S. I might kind of love the Brunello Cucinelli jacket…

   1. I also kind of like it? But I would never pay that pricetag, I’d just go to a thrift store and thrift some garments to upcycle into something similar.

   2. Looks like the crotch is both too low and too tight on the model. Maybe it’s the victim of a photoshop fail, but it’s odd to me.
      Beautiful, modern power jacket for sure, but I just don’t know if it will go with pj bottoms for a zoom call ;)
      sigh

      1. The pants don’t fit. Agree that the waist is too high, and it’s pulling or something at the crotch.

         I’d look like a linebacker with those shoulders.

   3. I love both the featured suit and the Cucinelli one. Very art-museum-CEO or quirky architect.

      1. The rise on those pants is crazy high (vs very old CSI episodes, where there seem to be suits based on hip-huggers in office-type fabrics).

         1. I feel like my Express suit pants were super-low in the early 2000. I felt quite stylish.

2. Reminder that not everyone has been working from home since March and that not everyone who hasn’t is a healthcare worker or grocery store clerk. There are many, many, office workers (likely in your own office) that have been at work, in person, making it possible for you to work from home. These people are the assistants, receptionists, and IT specialists that very rarely get any recognition and got piled on when all of the higher ups fled the office. When you’re planning when or if to return to your office, think hard about whether your ability to “100% do you job from home” is really just reliant on someone beneath you being available to do your printing, scanning, notarizing, filing, answering your phones, or keeping your remote access up and running. And if you do decide or push to be able to keep working from home, remember that the people supporting you would also prefer that they be able to use their “risk capital” on seeing family and friends or going on vacation, but don’t have that option because they have to use it on interacting with clients or sitting at open floor plan desks or taking public transportation

   1. Cosign. I had to go in several times to wet-sign documents, send FedExes, and get FedExes. And then my work laptop died. Sad day! A live person had to help get me a loaner and try to revive mine.

      We have DocuSign, but it signs my name, and sometimes I need to sign on behalf of an entity, which reads a little differently.

   2. And? I’m sorry but I’m not going running back just because it feels unfair that others HAVE to be there. I mean I’m sorry that being higher up means you get these privileges. But in my situation — no — I don’t have anyone at the office doing my printing or scanning; all of our phones are forwarded to our cell phones; and this is in biglaw – even our assistants and legal assistants are work from home. As for IT, I have no idea but I can’t imagine they are ALL at the office on top of each other in cubes because when you call the help desk you are clearly routed to their home offices. Sure maybe some rotational staff comes in but that’s always true in IT — they often do weekends and holidays in normal times too.

      1. Oh yikes this is so classist.

         1. Yes it is classist but if this situation doesn’t convince kids and their parents that you must pursue a higher education and aim for a position where you have flexibility and the authority to call some shots, IDK what will. Yes I’m exempting drs. — excellent profession but obviously you are not ever going to be able to put your own interests first so kid must be comfortable with that.

         2. How is it classist to point out that a lot of IT staff are at home and that some jobs do require you to be in the office? My spouse is in IT and they are all 100% at home and have been since March.

            1. My husband is an IT manager in biglaw and he has been working from home since March also. He does sometimes go to his office at 6 am on Saturdays to just check over the inventory stocks and sign invoices.

      2. I agree with this. If there are still companies that are over-reliant on paper and on secretaries answering phones, that’s an issue, but it’s not a reason for everyone to suffer in the office together. It’s a reason for companies to adapt to 2020.

         1. Our firm was super into the idea that everyone needed to be in the office every day pre-March 2020. We adapted, and now that we are back in the office, the staff have even been told they can work from home at least one day a week permanently because “we’ve realized the world isn’t going to end if you’re not here.”

         2. My office is closed; the doors are locked. I’d need a security escort to go in if I wanted to. We’re 100% WFH right now.

      3. Yikes. I’m glad all of your underlings are able to work from home, but just because someone isn’t a lawyer doesn’t mean that they or their families are expendable

         1. M y office is the same.Locked up. Company guaranteed full pay to everyone if they could work or not for the duration.

      4. I also agree with this and I assure you no one is in the office because of me personally. Also my staying home reduces everyone’s exposure… win-win.

   3. +1

      Also, if you’re a manager, consider whether your subordinates are just as effective with you working from home– are you still as available to collaborate and give approvals/feedback/consultations? Is it actually as easy to communicate with you as it used to be? Consider the impacts of lack of social capital and the impact of the moral of people who work for you. Consider any poor employees who are new to your org and whose ability to build rapport and receive mentorship is impaired.

      1. I’ll try trade that over being exposed to my asymptomatic office mate, thank you. (And, yes, she has tested positive twice now weeks apart.) And my immune suppressed husband agrees.

         Sorry, but face to face rapport isn’t going to trump that.

   4. Our receptionist is working at home too, actually, so doesn’t apply to me (although FWIW, she hates it and wants to return). No one helps me print, scan, or notarize and I have my own phone as well. I think you have some probably well-deserved resentment towards your company and have possibly been treated badly, which is wrong and should absolutely not be happening, but it’s simply not true that all of us are at home without a care in the world for our coworkers. Even if there are jerks out there who shove work onto their receptionists, it’s still not an argument for mass returns to the office.

      1. I agree with this. Also, I think it’s probably better for those who are required to be in the office that the number of people in the office be at a minimum, right? Having more people into the office means more potential exposure to everyone. It sounds like OP works for some jerks but I’m not sure I agree with the idea that everyone should have to return to the office at the same time for fairness reasons, especially if that means more risk for everyone involved (even those who cannot work from home).

         1. +10000000000

            Fairness is not the right argument to be making here. Safety is.

      2. It’s true that many people can 100% work from home and that many assistants, etc are working from home as well. I just saw a lot of people on the morning thread saying that they didn’t want to come back in. It’s worth it to look into whether you can actually 100% do your job at home or if you can only be effective because other people are in the office helping you out

         1. That may be true but I’m not sure what the solution you’re proposing then? Everyone come into the office because some people’s jobs require them to be in the office? I’m not trying to be snarky, just genuinely curious.

            Nothing in my job description requires me to be in the office. My assistant is working from home right now as are almost all employees (attorney and non-attorney). We have a skeleton support staff coming in limited days to take care of things like mail or if someone needs a new laptop. I don’t really understand why everyone should be more exposed (including those currently in the office by bringing them in contact with more people) just because some jobs have tasks that cannot be done from home. If you’re instead arguing that any task that a staff member does that assists me with my job is actually an essential part of my job, I also don’t agree with that. And if my firm did, we would just fire all of our assistants or paralegals or mail room or IT members or business development/marketing team or recruiting or any of the other hundreds of non-attorney staff, which would obviously make no sense. Some people’s jobs require them to be in the office, other people’s jobs do not (and the divide in my office is not attorneys/staff — really its almost all attorneys and staff are WFH and a few staff members are in the office on a rotating voluntary basis).

            Is your issue that you’re taking on work that really should be done by an attorney? Then I think it’s totally fair/valid to argue that it’s unfair for you to come in. But if the tasks you are doing that require you to be in the office are the same that you would be doing absent Covid, I’m not sure I follow your complaint.

         2. Why though? There’s nothing you can do to make those people less essential. I work in IT support and not only is it not my users’ problem if I’m required to come into the office (I’m not, because my company has remote work measures in place) but also they cannot do anything about it! If they need a new laptop, they need one. This is a weird thing to rant about.

         3. It’s worth it to be aware of those who have to work in the office to support remote workers. But it’s safer for those who have to be in the office if everybody else stays home!

         4. I am one of those people on the morning thread, WFH indefinitely. I AM the assistant. This week will be the first time I have to go back in three months to print something for my boss. Sure there are people that have to be at work, making sure the lights stay on, but they have to be there, whether I am there or not. From a safety perspective, they also benefit from most people not coming in.

   5. Thank you. You said it much better than I did in the earlier thread.

   6. Isn’t it safer for those people to have fewer people in the office, not more? (Speaking as someone whose office used to have 100+ people daily and now has approximately 4 daily).

      1. Yes. 100%.

   7. People working essential jobs where they need to go to work are also better off if the rest of us stay home, you know. There will be less community spread and fewer chances of encountering the disease if more people stay home – it helps everyone. The science on this has absolutely not changed.

      It feels like you’re on some sort of privileged-guilt disinformation campaign here.

   8. I’m unsure of what your point is. Do you want everyone back in the office, which would make your office, break room, cube farm, and public transit more crowded?

      1. If the powers that be decide some number of people must be in the office, I just want it to be decided equitably and not just the single folks with no kids getting the shaft yet again when it comes to shitty work assignments. Where I work now is better in that regard than anywhere else I’ve worked over the 25 years of my working life, but the “who is going back first?” question is still being answered along those lines. When asked my opinion, my answer is, “Continue 100% WFH”, but it’s not my call to make.

         1. are you the poster from this morning who essentially begrudged immunocompromised colleagues their socializing, to make up for you having to come in?

            1. Nope, I’m the one who is annoyed at people who are out living their best life against all public health advice, but coming to work is too much risk for them, regardless of reason, meaning others have to shoulder their risk.

            2. Kinda? If you’re too immunocompromised to go to work don’t talk to me about how you’re “working from home” at the beach

            3. Casper, get a grip.

            4. People make personal choices on their individual risk level, such as how much to go out and be amongst people right now. Every small risk taken adds up, so I get why immunocompromised people limit their interactions more than low-risk people. Some people ‘spend’ their allotted risk on seeing people they actually love while interacting with colleagues remotely. That’s their call to make – why wouldn’t they prioritize their personal life over a job? If the employer has a problem with it, that’s a different story. Also for Anon@4:24, if your employer is making you come back even though you could work from home, that’s unreasonable of them. But it’s not parents’ fault. And from a business perspective, of course you won’t call parents back in, making them leave kids unsupervised, which doesn’t fly so well with child protective services in this country. That stress level probably tanks performance and morale even more.
               This isn’t easy on anyone, including the single people without family obligations!

      2. The problem here is that Casper should be working from home too, not that the attorneys should come in to the office. Our assistants can all WFH. I am constantly begging mine to stop going in to the office because he is over 60 and the people who are in the office apparently do not believe in masks.

   9. I thought this was going in a very different direction until the last sentence or two – are you suggesting we SHOULD go back to the office? You realize that only puts these folks at greater risk, right? Like yes offices need a couple of people onsite to get the mail and such (although most of the things you’re talking about are either on hold or can be done remotely). My office, which normally has 100+ people, currently has 2 people – total – who are working on separate floors and usually at different times. The risk to them is as minimal as possible. You bring back another 50 people? Now the risk is not so minimal.

      1. Just looking for a little self awareness. I’ve spoken to several coworkers who have been working From beach houses or going on vacation but they apparently too scared to come into the office. It just isn’t a good look and has made me lose a lot of respect for people

         1. Do you truly not understand how someone working at their own private vacation house is very, very different from working in an office with dozens or hundreds of others, all of whom have different risk tolerances, for 40+ hours a week? I find myself losing respect for a lot of people these days too, but for very different reasons.

         2. Do you want them to come into the office? Would it make your job/life easier? It sounds like you just don’t like a lot of the people you work with, which may be totally justified. I agree, I think there’s a general lack of self-awareness right now, particularly from those who can afford second homes, etc. However, it feels like you’re focusing on the wrong thing here. Does your job require you to be in the office? If not, can you advocate to work from home? If it does, I get that it’s annoying that others don’t but them staying away is probably making you safer in the office, right? At the end of the day, whether they are working from home from their fabulous beach house or the corner of a studio apartment doesn’t change your current situation. This feels a little like if I have to suffer, everyone must suffer too.

         3. What isn’t a good look is wanting others to suffer because you have been inconvenienced. If your situation is worse than inconvenience, I’m sorry and I hope that it can improve, but don’t drag everyone else down because you are unhappy.

         4. So working from a house you own/or have rented short-term in a nice location is less acceptable than working from a house you own near your workplace? A house is a house. You can social distance in the city or at the beach.

   10. The feedback I’ve gotten from in-office staff has been that they want the rest of us to stay away. They’re required to be there but they are not eager to return to a crowded office environment that increases their exposure risk. They’re actually pretty angry about others being brought back in unnecessarily.

   11. No one in my office has been working.Whats your point?

3. Gift for parents for 40th anniversary? I don’t really want to do anything food or experience with Covid. Four kids (one estranged) and no grandchildren, which they are not happy about, so nothing family tree or overly personalized. They already have a few items with their wedding date or “established 1980” so I think they are kind of over that. I live in a different state so I don’t have access to old photos. I’m honestly stumped and keep circling around. They don’t drink alcohol. Any ideas?

   1. Would they celebrate at home together? Maybe you could put together a party in a box. Decorations, a bottle of a fun drink, a card, a CD from the year they were married

   2. If you want something not too personal/family oriented and want to stay away from highlighting the lack of grandkids or estranged sibling, how about something like a large painting? I know I’ve had art commissioned before and it wasn’t super expensive. It could be something meaningful like a vacation spot your family loved, a home they’ve lived in etc. I gave it as a professional gift once and had a pencil/pen sketch black and white of an old courthouse that my judge’s chambers had been in for 20+ years and then they were moving to a new courthouse; so we got it drawn and framed.

      Or even if that’s too personal, how about a decoration piece for their home? I’m thinking like a clock or fancy lamp something like that. If you want to personalize you can have it engraved with a wedding or anniversary date but you don’t have to.

      1. I really like this idea. My parents celebrated their 40th this year and aren’t “stuff” people at this point (aka they buy their own stuff) and we couldn’t do the big dinner we planned. But we’ve vacationed as a family in the same spot for decades. Thanks for posting this!

         1. I especially like the vacation spot idea esp if it’s a spot that’s meaningful because the family goes yearly or enjoyed once and always said they’d go back — esp because this year and maybe next most of us won’t be traveling to those places or if we do, it’ll look very different. It can be a reminder of hey — remember the good times in x, let’s plan to go back when we can.

      2. I like this idea. For the grads in my life this year, I was considering a framed print of a map of their college towns/centered on the university. My husband gave me one such for the place we met and it’s hung in our bedroom ever since, everywhere we’ve lived.

   3. This is a tough one right now….Current framed photos in black & white ?

   4. It would help to know a little bit about what they like to do. Interests? Hobbies? Collections?

      Barring more specifics, can you upgrade anything they already have and like? Is there a non-food “of the month” subscription they might enjoy?

   5. The traditional 40th wedding anniversary gift is “ruby.” Maybe something wonderfully cozy in ruby red for staying home, like matching sweaters, or a cashmere throw (or two), or similar?

      1. +1 – love this. (We do the traditional theme for anniversary gifts in our house, so I’m really into it.) Maybe some plush slippers in a deep red?

   6. We gave our parents a ruby-red blown glass bowl for their fortieth. It was a unique piece, though you could also do Pottery Barn or something. You could check a local glass blowing studio for a custom piece or try a gift shop.

   7. I responded on the morning thread but reposting here in case you missed it!

      Maybe something to commemorate the wedding date itself? A digitally restored larger size print (or canvas?) of a wedding photo? A framed newspaper from the day (NY Times does this, believe others to as well)? Maybe a shadowbox of things you can track down from the wedding itself, if relatives have an invitation or a program or something?

      If they like experience type gifts, maybe look into getting a fancier version of a Blue Apron. See if a local restaurant is doing contactless delivery for one of their signature dishes with all the ingredients and a recipe card?

   8. Do you know what flowers or the like that they had at their wedding? Send a bouquet of those flowers with a card (this was my sister’s idea)

4. Reposting from the morning thread – thanks to the person who responded!

   Any other hypothyroid women dealing with hair loss and weight issues? What has helped you?

   I’ve been on Levo for about a decade now (25 mcg) and my hair has continued to fall out. I have probably lost about 50% of my hair, and it’s devastating. My recent TSH levels were high (close to 4) so I advocated to move up to 50 mcg and we’ll see if that helps. I also take Vitron C iron supplements as previously my ferritin levels were quite low at 15. They’re now better, at 47, but I’ve read that you may need ferritin levels around 70 to actually see hair growth. I’m vegetarian and considering taking heme iron supplements – anyone has experience with that?

   In addition, I have gained about 10 pounds in the last year. On my frame, that is very significant. I admittedly did not eat that well during the initial months of the pandemic, but I have consistently worked out, done IF for the last 3 years, and had a “clean” diet in recent weeks and yet my weight keeps creeping up. Also, my weight is now concentrated in the belly (more so than usual).

   Obviously I’m trying to figure out a plan with my PCP but am also considering paying out of pocket to see a functional med doctor or naturopath, to get to the bottom of this.

   Finally, I’m in the Bay Area (Peninsula) if anyone has experience with an excellent doctor leads that treat thyroid issues. Thanks!

   1. Just yesterday there was a discussion of the pros/cons of combined T3/T4 meds. I would definitely be symptomatic with a TSH of 4.

      Do you have low stomach acid? If so, that could be affecting absorption of nutrients beyond iron. Many people with autoimmune thyroid disease also have antiparietal cell antibodies that can cause malabsorption.

   2. I haven’t dealt with hair loss, but I felt significantly better on combined T4/T3 than only levy alone. I moved out of state, though, and no one in my midsize midwestern city believes in combined treatment. I finally gave up; I still have some lingering symptoms but nothing like without medication.

      TSH of 4 is pretty high for someone who is on treatment, though.

      1. Somebody’s prescribing combined meds in your city, whether it’s Armour, NP Thyroid, Naturethroid, or just adding Cytomel to what you’re already taking. Maybe join a support group on Facebook to ask what local doctors other patients recommend?

         1. I was on Synthroid + Cytomel, but dropped to just Synthroid after the move. I went waaaaay down the depths of the internet looking for someone who would prescribe combination treatment of any kind, and got nowhere. The one RE who was named on message boards, etc.., apparently used to do it, but a new resident convinced him that it wasn’t supported in studies so he stopped doing it (she was really rude to me about it and wouldn’t even order a T3 test.)

   3. Me again from the morning thread, responding to your question about finding a doc who will prescribe Armour. There used to be a doctor finder on the Armour website with a searchable database but it seems to have been removed. I recommend googling Armour-friendly doctors + your area and seeing if you find any good recs on any online forums. You could also try emailing individual doctors who are nearby and covered by your insurance plan.

   4. I was still symptomatic at 4. I am down to .29 which is a little low but my doctor is ok with it. I feel so much better and my hair finally stopped falling out. Even my husband notices there is less hair left in the shower. It hasn’t had a significant impact on weight loss yet (and maybe won’t I understand) but has allowed me to at least stabilize instead of continuing to gain.

5. Remember when school kids used to sell candy bars and popcorn for school fundraisers? I got a flyer on my door for a sports group selling hand sanitizer to raise money. And you can pay by PayPal or Venmo! I guess I feel old because I remember going door to door trying to sell magazine subscriptions back in the early 90s.

   1. Wrapping paper. Always wrapping paper. And ever kid on the street was slinging the same dang wrapping paper.

      1. My god, we did this. The company was called “Innisbrook” or similar and my six/seven year old self called it “Interest Book” which made sense to me, because I was showing my poor neighbors a book of wrapping paper samples to pique their interest.

   2. They still sell candy bars and wrapping paper where I live (not during COVID, obvs).

      1. I always wondered why wrapping paper, of all the things out there, became a thing that kids would sell. I mean, it’s not like it’s so hard to pick up wrapping paper at literally any grocery/department/big box store.

   3. and magazines. Obscenely priced magazines. Kids whose parents worked in a medical office always sold the most.

   4. I funded four years of youth group camp by selling Current brand stationary and paper goods in my neighborhood. The recipe cards always were a hot seller and my mom still has a lot of her recipes on them. No regrets!

   5. It’s kind of surreal that we make kids – really, their parents – do things like sell magazine subscriptions or clip cereal box lids to help fund public schools. I know you said this was for a sports group, but the general concept feels wrong.

      1. I remember being vaguely outraged by this when I was a school kid. I guess I still feel that way.

         1. +1 it bothers me so much as a parent that this is a thing. I will happily just write a check but am more annoyed by the general premise itself. I’d rather pay more in taxes to make sure that all classrooms are funded, not just the ones with kids who have relatives/parents coworkers/parents friends to buy this stuff.

         2. +1 – I hated doing this.

         3. I hated doing it too. I’m glad that this time they just left a flyer instead of ringing the doorbell. I hate saying no to a kid, but sometimes I just don’t want what product they are selling.

   6. I was a champion of selling this stuff when I was a kid. Not through any special skills, but relentlessness. I would just continue knocking on doors until it was dark. I was motivated by the prizes but also by the concept of winning.

      My kids are completely unmotivated to sell anything. We usually find out how much the group wants them to raise and then make a donation in that amount.

      But I still admire the heck out of those kids who go all out to sell stuff. I just don’t know when I’m being scammed anymore.

      1. I hardly even care. If some kid is enterprising enough to sell me some chocolate to earn some money, I don’t much care what he spends the money on.

      2. This is probably a good attitude. For some reason, I took moral offense and viewed the prizes as bribes. I think whatever we were selling was also something I didn’t think anyone should buy, though I no longer remember what it was.

6. Where do you hang your handbag in your home? I’m looking for a hanging option in the bedroom. Maybe a hook on the side of my dresser (it’s old and I don’t mind if a hook leaves a mark or whatever). Or an over the door hook for the closet that hangs low … or a clamp-on hook for the desk if I can find a sturdy one with rubber lining that won’t leave a mark. IDK, what do other people do to keep it off of the floor/countertop and not track germs in from outside all over the place?

   1. We have a big center island with bar stools in the kitchen, and we installed purse hooks under the countertop, just like in a bar. Kind of like this: https://urbanforagewinery.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/50436419_1001463346705169_7800127085934018560_n.jpg

   2. I toss mine in all sorts of places. Wish I had a dedicated spot for it to keep it out of the way.

   3. In our bedroom I installed a rack of hooks to the back of the closet door for my robes and hoodies, and then a double hook to each side of the door. One for my purse(s) and one for my husband’s side that gets used for everything from belts to stretching bands.
      Ikea also has a LOT of ‘entryway’ furniture options, I firmly believe having hooks, shoe cubbies or baskets, and a small counter by the door you use most (or in your mudroom) is key to containing a huge amount of household clutter.

   4. on our coat rack.

   5. I store most of my bags on an upper shelf in the dust jackets they came with. I don’t hang them for storage at all, except for the bag I’m currently using on my rare trips out of the house, which is either sitting on a chair or hanging from a doorknob in my home office.

   6. I use a hook in the coat closet for current use purse. Sounds like a 3M hook in convenient place might work for you. They make fancy/nice looking ones now, I have one at work for coat/purse.

7. I saw an Old Bay mask last week and now I am wondering if there are any really cool masks or buffs out there? My college is probably too small to have anything (not in the bookstore’s site, at any rate). I’d love a buff-style thing b/c I use them generally (although I may also need some masks as the elastic in mine isn’t going to last forever, even with air-drying). I’d love anything I’d put on a bumper sticker — college, sorority, city, etc. I’m not in Colorado or Texas, but Buff makes them and they are on REI’s website.

   1. Check Etsy.

   2. I think some of the NPR affiliates are giving some away when you donate right now to their fund drive.

   3. I bought some Tiki Room themed masks from an Etsy seller. They’re well made and super cute

      I realize this is a really specific interest but I love the Tiki Room (Disneyland) and Dole Whip. I got one of each.

8. I need to purchase a couple face shields with or without masks attached for a family to take when they go to the hospital for tests. Any you recommend? I bought a couple on etsy, but they don’t fit well and gape too much. Any that you have tried? Or other eye protections? Docs told him to wear this but don’t tell us exactly what/where to get.

   1. I mean, it will look ridiculous, but couldn’t you just do swim goggles (or for that matter, safety goggles) + mask?

   2. Ski goggles? Or those that kids wear in chemistry lab?

9. Do any of you use disposable masks? My mom sent me a box and I want to save them or put some in my car, but it like a tissue, where you wear once and then throw out? Or can you keep in a locked hot car (SEUS) and the will kill anything on it and you can generally re-use (judging from the # of masks I see dangling from rearview mirrors in the lot, this is happening)? I don’t want to waste them, but I just have a few buffs and washable masks and as they are now required, I am sure my kids will start losing / forgetting them (me and DH less so; but they will also start wearing out or laundry won’t get done daily).

   1. Hi! I work in a hospital and we have been wearing disposable (surgical, non-N95) masks at work for over a month now. We are allowed (in fact, lightly encouraged) to rewear them, provided we leave them on a clean tissue when not being worn. I have also left mine in the car and our infection preventionist said that was fine. Same guidelines applied to cloth masks when we were wearing those. Toss it when it gets soiled (food, makeup).

      1. I work for a health system, and that’s what they’ve told us (office drones, obviously different standards apply to clinical folks) as well. Dispose when soiled.

   2. I do. I’ve been having a lot of medical appointments and when I wear my cloth mask in they give me a medical mask (the thin blue ones, not N95.) I keep these and rewear them. Right now I have one in my purse and one in my car.

   3. If I interact with people for more than a few minutes, I dispose of the disposable masks. If I am just in and out of a store or the post office, I reuse. I think for the washable masks it might make sense to wash them out in the sink so they’re not waiting for a load to be run; also, this is probably easier on the elastic and they’ll last longer.

   4. from a materials standpoint, they will break down after a while. How long that takes depends on how long you wear them (how much moisture they take up, and then mechanical wear and tear), and whether there are extreme temperatures or strong UV light in your region. They won’t break down after a single use like a paper tissue, but you can think of it like a ziploc that you reuse a few times, but not indefinitely, and not if visibly soiled.

10. 4th of July pool party at a cousin’s house … would you go? Cases are decreasing in my area and things are opening back up. I’m torn. On one hand, if it were just family members, I probably would go. But I know they’re inviting friends and others, and I have no idea what kind of precautions those people are taking.

    Sigh. I think I just answered my own question. It’s an annual tradition and something we always look forward to. I realize a pool party is small potatoes, but we’ve canceled our kids’ first and likely only Disney trip, camps, and basically everything they look forward to. :( We JUST started seeing grandparents again and I don’t want to give that up.

    Who else is getting tired of making these decisions and deciding what’s safe enough? I probably fall in the middle of the spectrum for risk tolerance but I have played it conservatively with COVID out of respect for my parents and in-laws.

    1. Obviously, everyone has to take their own considerations into it, but in my opinion, between chlorine, heat, sunshine, and being outdoors, its hard to imagine much safer then a pool. I would go, no hesitation.

       1. Same. Daycare is shut, probably until 2021, and we’re all sad about it, but we’ve recently resumed playgrounds, pools, outdoor zoos and socially-distanced playdates and it’s done wonders for the mental health of both me and my 2 year old. Mental health is health too, and while I don’t think people should break any laws or do anything deliberately harmful (like refuse to wear a mask at a business that recommends or requires them), I think it’s fair to say you have to do some outdoor activities and socializing for your mental health.

          1. (Should have clarified – outdoor pools and play dates only. We do nothing indoors that isn’t essential.)

    2. a. No
       b. I am too.

       1. +1,000 to both
          I am also tired of taking stuff from my parents, when I refuse to attend large out of state gatherings out of concern for their health.
          Plus, I am part of the team at work implementing “what is safe.” But we don’t KNOW what is safe so the second guessing is out of control.

    3. Come on over to the moms site where we are collectively having a vent/therapy session about this on a very regular basis!
       I’m sorry – this does suck. And I get it – we’re starting camp in a few weeks BUT at that point basically not seeing anyone else or doing anything more risky than grocery/pharmacy runs/takeout pizza because it absolutely will increase our overall risk calculus so much. It’s a lot of mental energy to constantly have to make these is it/is it not safe decisions.

       1. I had to stop reading the moms page for this reason. No judgment on you or anyone else posting there (I’m definitely having the same discussions internally and with my husband) but the repeated “would you do X with your kids” discussions just really drain my batteries/add to my anxiety and sadness about everything.

          1. It doesn’t get any better. I am in Facebook groups for parents at both of my kids’ colleges. The fretting is at a crazy high level. Someone actually suggested yesterday that since college kids are low-risk, they should consider having Covid-19 parties like parents in the 60s or whenever who according to folklore had chicken pox parties.

             1. I feel like frat parties will be de facto Covid parties ;)

             2. I went to school in the 70ths and we had slumber parties so every girl got rubella

11. In my city, private school teachers were online in a week teaching live via zoom. Some public school teachers did this or send out materials for kids to work on.

    My kids’ teachers sent links to Khan Academy for math, no reading assignments, and math work that had to be done on paper and then marked onto a glitchy .pdf to submit (often I took a picture with my phone to e-mail in). Kids were in 4th/5th. We already have some built-in remote learning for the fall and with work like this, I’m wondering why even bother? Why even have teachers if I can put them on Khan Academy on my own and have them read actual chapter books (and thanks to the person who recommended Dad’s worksheets — those are great!).

    I realize now that I rely on school for childcare and teaching (honestly, at this point, in that order, which is so, so, so wrong, but right now I need to not lose my job and school is making me worried about my kids and me). Private school is about $30K/kid, so not in our budget :(

    Should I look into signing up now for a designed-to-be-virtual school? I feel like they would have their act together vs what we saw this spring.

    1. I am the one who recommended dad’s worksheets—glad you found them useful!

       I have registered my kid for an actual virtual school program as a fallback in case our district can’t get its act together. If this interests you, I’d start looking into it now. The program I really would have liked closed its application period in March, before we realized we’d need it. Our state actually has two free on-line public school options that existed long before the pandemic. The quality isn’t as good as our local public school and the course offerings are limited, but either would be better than the packets of meaningless busywork that constituted the spring “learn from home” program. I am expecting them to fill quickly for the fall. You can also declare yourself a homeschooler and use curriculum from an on-line program of your choice. If we are not happy with the district’s plan, we will go the homeschool route with some courses from a university-affiliated provider with many years’ experience, filling in a few holes with the state’s on-line courses.

       Be aware that on-line school can be expensive. My top choice was over $20K per year. Another program I looked into was $12K per year for the same content we could have gotten free through the state. The program we settled on is around $1,600 per course.

    2. Honestly…I would. Public schools are, by their nature (and this is not a knock against them), an under-funded bureaucratic beast. Many school districts simply will be unable to get their ish together by fall…or whenever it is we’re supposed to go back. (Aside, I wonder if this will finally force the pendulum to swing to year-round school instead of our antiquated farming-schedule school.)

       1. I so hope you are right about your last sentence!

       2. I can see more districts moving to a year round schedule (some do it already, right?) but I know there are places where this will be met with huge resistance. In my college town all the professors flee town for the summer (a lot of them are from different countries and go back home to see family) and I can’t even imagine the outcry if the public schools tried to go year round.

12. Can someone tell my husband that WFH is not a reason to garden in the middle of the day? It’s driving me nuts. Yes, I realize we’re both home and the kids are gone, but I can think of ten things I need to do today, and that’s not one of them. And now that I have typed this out, I realize I sound kind of ridiculous.

    1. Have you seen the “Southern Mamas during coronavirus” video (a guy does it). I think that this point comes up twice.

    2. That would make me nuts, too. The worst way to get me in the mood for gardening is to initiate when I’m in the middle of a zillion other things. At that point, partner is just one more thing wanting something. Not. Hot. At. All.

    3. I don’t know. Night time/early morning is a good time to catch slugs, but I’ve been doing better finding caterpillars in the middle of the day …. oh, wait a minute… never mind.

       1. *snort*

    4. Been there, but honestly, I gave into it and it was kind of fun. I’m low garden needs and DH is high garden needs so I’m trying to be compassionate. You’ll at least be in a better mood while slogging through your to-do list?

    5. On the other hand, how many times have you been at work wishing you were at home spending quality time (gardening or otherwise) with your husband? Now the fantasy is reality! Obviously that’s kind of an exaggeration, but I’d encourage you to view it as a way to squeeze some joy out of a crappy situation, provided you are not actually failing to get work done because of it.

    6. What I would not give to have 20 minutes alone for sex in the the middle of the day. We have been with our child 24/7 for three months.

    7. Sorry, I am with your husband on this one. :)

13. Question for folks about passports for kids. We got our son a passport when he was 10 for a family vacation (which didn’t end up happening). It was good for 5 years; it doesn’t expire for a few more months and he’ll be 15 by then. I was reading that if he gets a passport when he’s 16, it’s good for 10 years. I’m having trouble finding the answer – if we renew the passport when he’s 15, will it be good until he’s 18, or until he’s 20? Would it be better for us to just wait, let the current passport lapse, and then have him reapply for the passport when he’s 16? Given current conditions I don’t think we’ll be going overseas any time soon but I have this idea that we’ll let the passport lapse and then he’ll need it for something (like a school trip) and we’ll be in a scramble. It looks like he’ll have to reapply or apply in person regardless of whether he waits or not.

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