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Updated: Dec 14, 2021 246 Comments · by

Suit of the Week: Ann Taylor

Suit of the Week |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

I love the color of this suit! The interestingly named “midnight fig” shade (not afternoon fig, mind you, but midnight fig) looks perfect for fall. If you're also a fan of this color, you're in luck, because there are tons of pieces to choose from in this double-knit fabric: a straight-leg pant, ankle pant, mock-neck shift dress, midi-length flare dress, and both one-button and two-button blazers (all featured at the link above). If you'd prefer a basic black suit (or black separates), that's also an option.

The stretchy, wrinkle-resistant fabric is machine washable (nice!) and comfortable, too.

The suit is available in regular sizes 00–18, petites 00–16, and tall 0–18; prices range from $89 to $179.

Psst: Has anyone noticed that Ann Taylor Factory no longer has an online storefront? Items are still available in stores, apparently.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kate Antoniades

Editor of Corporette since 2014, Kate Antoniades lives in her hometown of Rochester, NY. A cat person and Oxford comma loyalist, she loves thrift shopping and has too many craft supplies.

Comments

  1. AnonBraggart

    You all – I have a limited number of people that I can tell this to without it being totally obnoxious in real life but I just got a new job that is really interesting to me, pays a big chunk more and I’m taking 6 weeks off in between to recharge and I’m going to a vineyard in France to stay for free for a week of that time (assuming COVID cooperates) and I am SO READY!

  2. Elegant Giraffe

    I just cut up an avocado in the office kitchen. Very unprofessional of me :) thought the gang would like to know.

  3. TV

    Can we do a recent TV recommendations thread?

    Things I’ve enjoyed recently, especially knowing they were produced during Covid times (despite being essentially white people social commentary with all of the resulting limitations): White Lotus and Inside by Bo Burnham on Netflix. I’m also indulging in a whole lot of Bravo and so excited for a new season of Bachelor in Paradise, because sometimes I just want palate-cleansing reality trash.

    • Anon

      I watched the first 30 minutes of White Lotus and it was so bad and awkward that I didn’t finish the episode, which is not normal for me.

    • Anonymous

      physical, schmigadoon on Apple TV. killing eve, bachelor in paradise on Hulu. re-watching the office on peacock. white lotus, mare of Eastland on hbo. and on Netflix I’ve run out but really enjoyed the baker and the beauty (lol), never have I ever, Jane the virgin, too hot to handle

    • Sloan Sabbith

      Ted Lasso on Apple TV, it’s absolutely delightful.
      Lupin- it’s in French with English subtitles, which I usually hate but loved it.
      We re-watched Modern Family during COVID and it was perfect for this weird time. We also re-watched The Office.

      • anon

        +1 to Ted Lasso and Lupin (which I also watch with French audio and English subtitles)

      • Anon

        Omg yes to Ted Lasso and Lupin. I need like a ton more episodes of Lupin! Why’s it so short!?

    • Anonymous

      Girl, you need some FBoy Island in your life. It’s delicious trash and host Nikki Glaeser is excellent.

    • Anon

      I really liked For All Mankind on Apple, All Creatures Great and Small on PBS, and am on the second season of The Bureau, which is a French spy show on AMC+. I got a two month promo for AMC+ and PBS through Amazon, where I also got Acorn and liked Mystery Road and Ms. Fisher’s Modern Murder Mysteries, which isn’t quite as good as the original (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries)- I highly recommend that if you haven’t seen it.

      • Anonymous

        I didn’t love the new All Creatures Great and Small, but I started the old series and love it!!!

    • Senior Attorney

      I’ve been enjoying murder shows from other countries: The Brokenwood Mysteries (on Amazon), set in New Zealand (sort of Columbo meets Murder, She Wrote, and they’re all trying to find out the cause of “deeth”); also Trapped, also on Amazon — lots of amazing Icelandic scenery. And I keep recommending this, but Beforeigners on HBO is a crazy combination of time travel/Nordic noir and we loved it.

      • Senior Attorney

        Oh, and Balthazar on Prime. If Quincy, M.E. were a super hot French coroner with a sad back story.

      • Anonymous

        Mar de Plastico on Netflix; it’s like a telenovela had a baby with Law and Order, but set in Spain

      • Anonymous

        SA, check out MHZ Choice – it is all foreign language mysteries (subtitled). Also lots of good ones on Acorn and Britbox. Shetland, Hinterland, Vera – don’t get me started….

      • eertmeert

        Inspector Lewis is one of my top favorite murder shows. Also on Amazon.

    • meara

      Similarly, could anyone recommend something on Netflix or similar, that is in Spanish, that is entertaining but somewhat simple? I’m trying to get better at my comprehension….already have Casa de las Flores and the Cook of Castamar. I have a tutor who recommends things but she’s in another country than the US, so the options on her Netflix are different!

      • Anonymous

        Mar de Plastico if you like crime dramas; lots of people die, but with more nudity than in the US

        • Senior Attorney

          Fun fact: The title song of Cable Girls was recorded by the daughter of my husband’s best friend!

      • Anonymous

        Velvet
        Monarca
        Jane the Virgin (primarily in English, but there’s a good amount of Spanish too)
        Valeria

        Live Twice, Love Once

        Also, Netflix dubs a lot of popular shows and movies into Spanish, in addition to offering subtitles. I’ve re-watched a few old favorites (Vampire Diaries) and a few new shows (Legacies, Bridgerton) dubbed in Spanish. I find the dubbed stuff a little easier to follow because it’s super generic Spanish spoken clearly, compared to the various national and regional accents and slang you get in series originally from a Spanish-speaking country.

    • Lily

      We’re all in on the British crime dramas the last few years. We’re about to finish season 6 of Line of Duty. You guys, it’s SO GOOD. If you’re new to British crime drama, I’d watch Line of Duty plus Broadchurch, Happy Valley and Unforgotten. Each show has multiple seasons so that’ll keep you busy for a while. They tend to be on Netflix, Hulu or Amazon Prime (we recently also got BritBox). British tv is so much better than American tv, it’s crazy.

    • Smokey

      We just watched all four seasons of Unforgotten and loved it. The first three seasons are on Netflix. Also really liked the final season of Atypical and the second season of Dirty John.

    • Anon

      I commented above +1 to Lupin and Ted Lasso, and will also add The One which I think is on Netflix (or Hulu? I can’t remember).

      • Anon

        I loved this series so much and was so, so sad when it was over.

        It was no good for my French learning because they use so much slang and idiomatic language I couldn’t follow, so subtitles for the win!

    • pugsnbourbon

      I loved this series so much and was so, so sad when it was over.

      It was no good for my French learning because they use so much slang and idiomatic language I couldn’t follow, so subtitles for the win!

  4. Anonymous

    No one IRL will be excited for me but I just passed the last part of a 3 part certification that I’m doing in a specific financial industry! I’m a lawyer (contemplating a career move into finance) so this kind of thing is met with shrugs/I don’t get numbers/why would you bother. But whether I ultimately use it or not, I’m happy to have studied and accomplished something – studying was a struggle 15+ years out of school!

    • Elle

      I’m assuming this is the CFA? In which case I’m so impressed!! The pass rate is really low especially this year.

      Even if it’s not the CFA, congratulations on doing that while in a full time job in another industry!

      • Anonymous

        Agree — if CFA, hurray!

        If not, hurray also but IDK what that is but CFA is the bomb.

      • Walnut

        Lots of respect if it’s the CFA. That exam is no joke.
        Also, lots of respect if it’s something else, too. YOU’RE AWESOME.

    • Anon

      Congratulations!!

      IMHO, it can be a really good thing for an attorney to have another, adjacent area of expertise. “You can do anything with a law degree” isn’t really true, at least on its own.

    • Cornellian

      That’s awesome! congrats. I’m a lawyer who’s going to sit for the second and final level of CAIA, so I can totally relate.

    • Ses

      Jumping on the CFA guess too, with huge congrats. I did CAIA and found it a big challenge to learn to study again so far out of school.
      Best of luck on your CAIA, Cornellian!

  5. Anonymous

    Has anyone been to the Christmas markets in Vienna? Are they worth it — meaning is it worth it to hold a trip until Dec just for the markets? I’m interested in a trip to Vienna as I’d like to get over to Europe to one of the smaller, walkable cities with amazing architecture. I could do a spring/summer trip but is it better to wait until after Thanksgiving specifically for the markets? FWIW I’m not averse to cold weather at all. BTW this would be for 2022 – as I’m assuming by then we’ll have 3rd shots and the EU’s vaccination rate will keep going up and it’ll be over 2 years since the start of the pandemic so I’m assuming there will be some better control and I’ll feel more ok with being on a long flight (I’m not right now). Oddly the Christmas market season is listed as one of the “off seasons” for Vienna – generally speaking I prefer off seasons anywhere even if it means the weather isn’t as great because I dislike crowds; apparently June-Aug are peak months for Austria. I’d appreciate any insight.

    • Ribena

      I’ve been to Vienna in March, July, November, and December. I think December was better than November because of the Christmas markets and general decorations-everywhere vibe but I also liked March and July. It’s a gorgeous city whenever you go.

      • Anonymous

        Why Salzburg over Vienna or what did you not like about Vienna? Mostly looking for a smaller European city (as in smaller than London or Paris), walkable, great architecture and fancy hotels. I’ll take other suggestions on places though.

      • Anonymous

        I have always wanted to do a Sound of Music tour of Austria and now my kids have aged out of thinking SOM is cool. They’d still like it though? Because I am a bit of a nutter about it (like have the sheet music and know that IRL, the oldest child was a boy, which really does not work with the movie at all) and still want to go.

        • Anonymous

          We didn’t do the tour but did stay at the Schloss Leopoldskron so it’s possible to get a taste of SOM without going too deep into it. Heads up though that the gazebo isn’t at the hotel anymore. You can still see the gardens and the gate with the lions though!

        • anon

          I did the SOM tour in high school and really enjoyed it. I didn’t love the movie that much anymore, but I still felt a certain nostalgia for it. Also, the scenery and sites are cool on their own merits–they’re historic sites, not movie sets on a random lot.

      • Senior Attorney

        Salzburg is gorgeous.

        I’ve only spent one day in Vienna but it was so overrun with tourists that it was kind of a nightmare. This was in summer so maybe Christmas would be better.

      • Anon

        I went to both Vienna and Salzburg in the first week of December a few years ago and I agree 100% on Salzburg over Vienna. It just had a smaller, quintessential Austria feel to it, with the mountains, lakes, little shops, Christmas decorations, Hohensalzburg, everything. Even their Christmas markets were better and felt far less commercial. We stumbled across one right in the middle of a Krampus parade and another with a little ice skating rink. Just overall a much quieter, quainter experience, if that’s what you’re looking for.

        • Anonymous

          I did that trip and I loved both cities, but Vienna even more. I would do both to get the range of experiences.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, absolutely worth it. We just did this trip and it was wonderful to go to the markets (both Vienna and Salzburg). They’re crowded, but we never felt overwhelmed or unsafe or anything like that. So glad we squeezed the trip in BC.

    • meara

      I did a Prague/Budapest/Vienna trip at Christmas a few years ago–I didn’t enjoy Vienna as much but only because it was extra cold there and hard to stay warm! (It had snowed in Budapest, but wasn’t as chilly) I loved the Christmas markets in Budapest, and the ones in Vienna were fun too (we didn’t do them in Prague)

      • Anonymous

        I did Budapest and Vienna at Christmas and loved both of them. Vienna was by far the more gorgeous city and was beautifully decorated. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

        But, I don’t mind cold weather, and I really dislike summer heat and summer tourist crowds, so beautiful cities with mulled wine and Christmas lights everywhere are a no-brainer for me.

        • Anon

          I have lived in all three cities and i think all three have their magic (provided you can escape hoards of tourists). Christmas markets are nice in Vienna and Prague (there is one on Old Town Sq with all the lights, but there are several smaller ones around the city), food is better in Vienna. Budapest is a beautiful city, the market is ok, but does not compare to Vienna/Prague. I agree Salzburg with the Alps could be a nice option. I would also recommend Poland – Wroclaw, Krakow or Gdansk are amazing (with great food everywhere). I am testing Switzerland beg of September, so will report back.

    • Anonymous

      I did Christmas markets in Munich and Salzburg in 2019. Salzburg was absolutely beautiful and I wished we’d had more time.

    • anon

      I live in Vienna, so haven’t done the Christmas markets as a tourist, and haven’t compared them to Salzburg, but can comment on them as a local. Also, last year they cancelled them due to the virus, so, there’s a possibility of that happening again this year, fyi. I think Vienna in December is lovely – so beautifully decorated. The Spittelberg market is my favorite, and the favorite of many locals. The one at Turkenschatz park is also really lovely. Also plan to go ice skating at Rathaus – it’s amazing skating on pathways through the park. You can easily also hop on the train to Graz or Salzburg for a few days to enjoy their markets. I think you could make a really fun trip:-) Also, the corona situation is being really well handled here and you’ll be able to get free, regular, tests during your stay using AllesGurgelt or the TestStrasse.

      • anon

        To add more about the corona situation – proof of vaccination or a negative test are required to admittance to anything with crowds, restaurants, etc. I’m very high risk, and have felt quite safe here.

    • Anon

      I live in Germany and have done Vienna/Salzburg at Christmas. Both are lovely, Salzburg is smaller and to me felt more special. The markets there are less overdone, the crowds were less overwhelming. Vienna however offers a LOT beyond markets – opera, cafes, nightlife, shopping, architecture, history, museums. It’s not difficult to do both by train in a week.
      That said, Christmas markets were cancelled here this year and I think the circumstances are iffy for the coming year. Oktoberfest in Germany was already cancelled, for example. Be prepared to build your trip around their absence if that happens.

      • Anonymous

        Thanks. I was thinking of them as a 2022 trip so I’m not booking yet and we’ll have more than a year to see how the pandemic goes.

    • Anon B

      It’s pretty dreary in that part of Europe in December. The light is flat during the day, it can be misty or foggy, and it gets dark early in the day because of the relatively northern latitude. I’d recommend looking into cities further south, perhaps Bordeaux, Florence, Palermo, Seville, Lisbon, etc.

      That said, if you’re indeed sure of aiming for northern Europe in December, in addition to Salzburg or Vienna, you might consider Brno. It’s the Czech version of Boston (if Prague is construed as the Czech version of NYC). Super easy to reach from the Vienna airport.

    • A

      Did the Christmas market in Prague and loved it. Tons to see there also.
      I prefer Salzburg to Vienna.

      The Viennese are very rude and that spoilt my time there. Lovely city, sure…but I don’t care if I never return.

  6. Anonymous

    Thinking of the VMI item ending the morning post, are there any colleges that are really great for women? I get that there are all-women colleges, but they are really expensive (and they seem to be in the northeast and very hard to get into or very southern, neither of which may be the right fit for many women).

    • Anon

      what exactly would make a college really great for women? co-ed, but more women than men? more women faculty? i wouldn’t even know what criteria to use to evaluate a college to determine if it is ‘really great’ for women.

      • Anonymous

        Random bad events could happen anywhere (and even if all women, women can be in abusive relationships with other women or with men from elsewhere, so not even that can be utopia). I would just lean on using the buddy system religiously even after college (alone is bad, alone + alcohol is never a wise choice; assume that no one will protect you but you and if anything really bad happens, go to real police first (if not the hospital) and never, never anyone in college administration).

        My sense is that hazing has gotten a lot better and is never generally seen as cool or funny (sort of like how smoking largely went away over time). It still happens, but I swear it used to be rampant (even in high schools).

        • Monday

          Total side note, but smoking has not gone away at all. It’s just become very rare among affluent people. My patients are mostly poor, and almost all of them smoke.

          • Anonymous

            I think it has also gone away with middle-class people and UMC people. I know rich people (few though) and very poor people (many) who smoke and no one in between.

          • Monday

            Fair enough, I guess I don’t know anyone rich enough to be part of this smoking subculture!

      • Cat

        Same. This question assumes a one-size-fits-all approach to college. I don’t think an all-women school is necessarily the indicator that it’s great for girls at all!

        I went to an Ivy and while I don’t think anyone was particularly focused on making it a Good Experience for a Woman as opposed to a good experience for students generally, I emerged with plenty of experience navigating a co-ed world, speaking up in class when I was outnumbered by guys, etc.

      • Anon

        I’d look at not only women on faculty but women leaders/deans within the administration. If your child is interested in a field that typically has more men than women graduates, I would ask what kind of support is available for women choosing that major. Some schools pair a woman that is a junior in that major with incoming freshmen women. My daughter found that in her STEM field, having a woman that was the dean and being paired with an older classman that was a woman was helpful. It was a state school and being in the honors dorm with other STEM women was supportive.

    • Anonymous

      If I have a daughter, I’ve love for her to want to go to Wellesley. All the women I’ve ever met from there have been so sharp, funny, motivated, and just great people.

      • Anonymous

        But not everyone can afford Wellesley and not every student is going to get in. If you’re a girl foundering in high school after having it for all of your pandemic, you may really struggle academically in a way that you’re looking at not the most selective schools in the country (if that was even likely to be possible). IDK what is available for women generally. The superstars will probably be fine regardless.

        • Anonymous

          That critique isn’t specific to Wellesley at all. Can’t someone just post something nice about a school without getting the negative “but not everyone…” take?

          • Anonymous

            I get that, but I think that Wellesley and its sister schools are just unicorns that exist for one tranche of academically-credentialed women. College of Charleston comes to mind as a good female-majority state school, but it’s hefty tuition for OOS students and IDK that there is a similar offering in Pennsylvania or Ohio for women there. If there is, let’s hear it. Many schools are becoming majority-female, if they aren’t already, but that doesn’t always make for successful paths for women, especially in science.

          • Anonymous

            I think OP is the one who’s always lamenting her kids’ mediocre test scores and performance in middle school.

          • Anonymous

            Ohhh gosh yes her again.

            Yup. I went to Wellesley. It’s fabulous for women and has fantastic grades. Not sorry mediocre students can’t get in.

        • Cornellian

          I don’t know the details of Wellesley’s aid policies but they promise to provide 100% of hte FAFSA need, as do a lot of elite northeastern kid.

          As an orphaned kid of limited means (but good test scores) elite colleges were cheaper for me than, say, Penn State, where I could have gone in-state. It’s worth looking in to if your kid has high financial need.

      • Anonymous

        I worked at Wellesley in my early 20s and took classes in its post-bac program. The teaching is excellent, but I do not think that Wellesley adequately prepares young women to compete with men or to make their own way in the world. The students were coddled to a ridiculous degree by the faculty and administration. They were also oddly reticent in class discussions and at events.

      • Anon

        Slightly tangential: I went to another Seven Sisters school, and while the school itself was *great for women,* the social environment for heterosexual students with men at the neighboring co-ed colleges ended up being surprisingly toxic. Male students were significantly outnumbered by women, and it created a dynamic where women were frequently treated poorly by men in social situations. In law school and in the real world, I have not encountered a similarly negative/toxic male-female environment since.

    • Anon

      I posted on this morning’s thread: my undergraduate alma mater was really good for women for a variety of reasons, most of them cultural.

          • anon

            Interesting. I have a family member who went to Tufts, and she was bullied to the point of a mental health crisis, moved back home, and finished at a local school. (Her credits transferred so she graduated from Tufts.)

          • Anon

            anon, it’s usually not allowed: Tufts has a residency requirement that would not be fulfilled by a local school except under approved study abroad. Are you certain about those details?

    • anon

      Anecdotally, consider Canada – especially McGill, Queens, University of Toronto. My experience is that because everyone can legally drink, it is paradoxically a lot safer for women because you are going out to clubs, etc. rather than house parties or depending on older guys for alcohol.

    • Anon

      It doesn’t solve the expensive, hard to get into, or Northeast problems – but my friends and I joke that our (co-ed) Ivy League school was the best college for women in the country. The one we went to had very very limited greek life, which helped cut down on clique-y-ness, was undergrad oriented, and had a very pervasive culture of “you are competent and if you work hard, you can succeed and we will cheer you on” that came from all directions: staff, professors, classmates, alumni, etc. There were amazing opportunities and the expectation of doing hard and valuable work, not just financial rewards. This was true for both men and women. Having later attended a different Ivy League school, I would definitely say the culture and particularly the equality of undergrad women was different than other schools of similar prestige.

      • Anonymous

        This sounds awesome (and I had no idea that these schools really differed from each other, other than that Animal House, which is not recent at all, was loosely based on Dartmouth). I had thought I’d like Dartmouth or Princeton based on them being in towns and undergrad-focused, but I went to State U (but at a small campus, not a huge one).

          • Anonymous

            How would you know though? They serve a tiny slice of students and are in one part of the country, often not easy to get to (esp Cornell —there is a reason it’s med school is elsewhere). They are pitched to kids in Ohio as fungible enough to figure employers and have cache. Often kids only visit where they have gotten in or might have as a first choice.

          • Cat

            Just by critical thinking? Like I am from the east coast but don’t assume that every state college in the midwest is the exact same feel? Similar in some ways, yes, but not just interchangeable. I was lucky enough to get into the 3 that I applied to, and I fell head over heels for an urban campus rather than picturesque-but-remote.

          • Anon

            I don’t know about this. A lot of similarly respected State Us have a very similar feel to me. I think a lot of public educational institutions in general have a sort of similar vibe compared to how idiosyncratic the culture at private schools can get.

        • LaurenB

          Seriously? Why would one expect Columbia in the heart of NY to be “just like” Dartmouth in the middle of nowhere? Of course they are different.

    • Anon

      Of course there are probably many factors but I can comment from my own experience: I went to NYU and loved that there was no greek life (actually one of the reasons I chose it). Being in a very urban progressive place generally probably influenced a lot. I did not have an amazing experience in my science (physics) or math classes there though, where I felt discounted (on the receiving end of conversations that suggested I was less than adequately intelligent to continue – spoiler – not true, kind of a clique culture it felt like, no visibility for women in the department) and was definitely outnumbered.

    • MK

      I went to a seven sisters college and yes they’re very hard to get into now, but they’re not necessarily expensive! If you’re paying full price, they’re outrageously expensive ($70k or more) but they can offer incredible financial aid. Coming from a comfortable but definitely working class family (2 social worker parents). I think my parents paid $5k a year and I graduated with under $10k in student loans. Back in early 2000s. The sticker price scares off too many women who might be able to really flourish there :(

      • Cornellian

        100%. I didn’t attend one, but people discount elite private colleges (seven sisters, swarthmore, etc) without considering their need-based aid.

    • pugsnbourbon

      I think it’d be good to look at the overall number of women on faculty, but it’d be more important to look at the faculty breakdown in your intended major/department. 80% of the classes I took for my major were taught by women and I had ample role models within the department.

    • Anonymous

      American society is just not a great place for women, so why would we expect its colleges to be good for women? You could send your daughter to a women’s college, but she would emerge thinking that talent and effort are enough to get ahead in life.

  7. anon

    At what point do you give up and go gray? My medium-brown hair is roughly 50% gray. I’ve been coloring it forever, but the roots are showing more all the time and I’m starting to resent the maintenance. There is a very clear line of demarcation after only a few weeks. I’m currently getting it touched up every 5 weeks, and not willing to do more because it’s too expensive and time-consuming already. My stylist has done a great job creating a really natural-looking hair color for me with lots of brown tones, but it’s becoming more obvious all the time that it’s no longer my “real” color.

    The kicker is that I’m 41. I have a real fear of appearing older than I actually am if I go natural. Especially because I already keep my hair pretty short. But hiding the obvious also has drawbacks; like who am I even fooling?! Even my mom doesn’t have as much gray as I do …

    • Pep

      I did this at the start of the pandemic (March 2020) and I’m almost 100% grown out now. The rule of thumb is “a year to the ear.” I decided to do it because I was to the point where even touchups every four weeks were starting to not cut it, and I didn’t have the desire (or cash) to go to the salon every two weeks. I think as long as you keep a current hairstyle and dress in current styles you’ll be OK. I know it’s not the choice for everyone, but for me, at this time, it’s right.

    • Anonymous

      I am 44 with hair that is >75% gray that I have colored every 4 weeks. I am nowhere near ready to go gray yet. First off, if it’s not 100% gray it tends to look sloppy. Second, gray hair absolutely ages you. One of my neighbors went 100% gray in her 40s and looked about 55. When she decided to start coloring it light brown, she instantly looked 10+ years younger.

      • Anonymous

        Has anyone just bleached their hair? I am thinking I could deal with 50% dark brown roots on Gwen Stefani platinum hair (vs 50% white / gray roots on dark brown hair).

        • Anonymous

          Ooh, like Emma Thompson has had about five years ago? That looked great!

          • Anonymous

            I think that there can be a blonde for everyone (maybe “honey” is right for you, my skin is so ruddy that I need very contrasting hair).

        • Monday

          I also take exception to “sloppy.” Nobody’s natural-colored hair, with whatever variations the strands may have, is “sloppy.” Just like nobody’s natural hair texture is “unprofessional.”

          This is a very personal decision, but I stopped trying to cover my whites when I realized it was a chore. There was nothing fun about it. I’ve never looked back.

          I also think that the concept of what age people look, visually, is determined by what we are used to. Someone who’s 41 with gray hair looks her age–the issue is that we’re so unaccustomed to seeing natural gray hair at 41. It’s not that it’s actually rare. (I am concerned we’re going this direction with Botox, btw–that eventually wearing your regular un-Botoxed face will “age you” compared to a norm of Botox.)

          • Anonymous

            It is not natural for someone to be almost completely gray at 40. Never has been. A few gray strands, yes.

          • Anon

            It is extremely natural since that is, in fact, what the natural process of graying is doing to OP and many others in her age group.

            If you mean it’s not a cultural norm, that’s another issue. But you sound awful, frankly, so if I were OP I would consider doing the opposite of anything you suggest.

          • Monday

            Any color of hair that sprouts from someone’s head is by definition natural.

          • Anonymous

            I started going gray at 12. Don’t try to tell me that’s natural. It is entirely unnatural.

          • Anonymous

            I mean…it’s natural if it grows that way, right? I agree also wrt Botox. Botox, good skincare, not letting your hair turn gray are all markers of taking care of oneself and looking polished at a certain age in my circles. At my mom’s age (60s), she’s noticed everyone who hasn’t gotten their teeth redone (it’s implants or veneers or something) suddenly looks much older, comparatively.

            But it’s true of everything and it’s also regional/ cultural. I remember when my friend got married in upstate ny. There was some kind of luncheon at the hotel and it was summertime. And there were middle aged women dressed nicely in floral dresses with sandals and feet that had not had a pedicure…maybe ever. Their feet were clean and nails trimmed but calloused with yellowed toenails. This just isn’t done in my circles unless one has very pretty (young, well moisturized) feet.

            Fwiw I think you can rock gray hair and looked polished (if not young) but it would take a level of grooming probably on par with just coloring it. (Clear gloss; blowouts) And yes, if you skip skincare, makeup and Botox/fillers WHILE going gray you’ll look much older than everyone who does all those things.

          • anon

            Yeah I was 70% gray at 19 and more or less 100% gray at 30 thanks to a massive medical trauma. That’s not natural, or at least not “normal” and I’ll deal with the chore of coloring every 3 weeks because I do really feel that it is aging, and I don’t feel bad about saying that.

      • Anon

        I just saw my 67 year old cousin yesterday who is about 50% gray, and her hair doesn’t look sloppy at all. Granted, she is a gorgeous woman with gorgeous hair. But there’s nothing wrong with 50% gray and it depends how you wear it.

        I see many women with colored hair and unless it’s professionally perfectly done, I think it’s aging rather than age reducing. Hair that’s not colored well has a flat look. The OP wants to avoid the cost and time of constant maintenance. It’s impossible to avoid without going natural.

    • Anonymous

      gave up during pandemic but older than you – I’m in my early 60’s . My colorist had been getting me ready with heavy highlights over last several years, so the transition was pretty easy. I think I look younger with my silver hair now than I did when i was coloring, but YMMV.

    • Anon

      Honey, you go ahead and do what generations of southern women have done before you – go blonde.

    • Anony

      I am totally 100% with you! I was getting ready to dye my 50% gray (maybe more) hair this morning and the thought of ‘wasting’ almost 3 hours just didn’t appeal at all. I’m 38 and the thought of just letting it gray go pains me. I love my super dark brown hair but having to touch-it up every 2 weeks is so annoying. I’ve been cutting and coloring it myself for the last 2 years so maybe a colorist could help blend it out but I’m not 40 yet! This seems unfair but my mom’s side went gray early so it’s definitely genetic. The only thing that sort of appeals to me is the fact that my hair appears to be going straight to white, rather than gray. I don’t know what the answer is but I am here with you!

    • Hester

      I am similar! I’m maybe 50% grey and color it something close to my original color of medium brown. I colour it myself though, I need to do it every 3 weeks (and even then the third week is not good) so it’s just not realistic to go to the salon that often. My home-dying isn’t too bad but it’s not perfect, and I try to get a salon dye every six months to even things up a bit. Im 39. As to when to give up…. I don’t know but not yet. Basically I just don’t want to look older. Apart from the hair I have relatively youthful features (except for my eyes perhaps… they’ve seen a few things!) and I’m just not ready for the 10+ years that my natural hair will give me. So I think I’ll be stuck in this relatively unsatisfactory limbo for the next 15 years, for better or worse!

    • Anon

      My suggestion is that you start going lighter. Your colorist can do it slowly, with just more and more highlights. That helps stretch out the time between color. It ends with you being a blond but you can pick the shade you want and blond is not going to clash with your coloring more than grey.

      And for all the people chiming in with “just go grey” and anecdotes about how great their friend or relative looks with grey hair, that is a great choice for a lot of people. But if you are under 50, do not fool yourself that age discrimination in the legal profession is not a real thing or the extent to which women of a certain age become invisible – personally and professionally.

      • Anon

        I wore my hair a certain color and style for years hoping that it would protect me against layoffs directed towards women over 50. Surprise – I got laid off anyway. Now I wear my hair the way I want to.

    • Anonymous

      Just color it yourself. It costs about $10 and takes about 30 minutes. So much cheaper and easier than going to the salon every 4-6 weeks.

    • Anon

      Check out the Gray and Proud Facebook group. It’s wonderful to see women of all ages with their silver hair, in all stages of transition. That group really helped me see how beautiful natural hair is, and how it truly flatters our skin tones in a way that colored hair often doesn’t.

      So many women on that site say, after they stop coloring, that they wish they had never started or that they wish they had stopped coloring sooner. Me too.

  8. Anonymous

    A more general question that I was reminded of by the Vienna question above – if you’re someone who hasn’t traveled much in Europe but wants to, where would you go (2022 or beyond)? Likes walkable, smaller cities, great architecture, luxury hotels, variety of food (unlike many/most travelers I’m not a foodie so it’s better for me to go places with lots of food options because there will be days I just want something small or bland). Dislikes – huge crowds; also not interested in hiking/nature as the activity – I’d rather explore a city, do tours of old buildings etc.; and I don’t drink (Muslim) so I prefer places where it isn’t an alcohol driven culture to where all the food is cooked in wine. I’ve only been to London and want to go back but am also interested in smaller places where you feel like you can explore a lot of it in 3-5 days.

    • Anonymous

      To clarify – totally fine with lots of alcohol being available, others drinking. Just not to the point where you can’t find food/drink with no alcohol in it.

    • Anon

      Not Europe, but if you want a long weekend, go to Columbus, Indiana. It checks all your boxes except for luxury hotels, though the big chains are there and there’s a nice b&b in the middle of town. Might be something that could hold you over until international travel is more open/reliable.

      • roxie

        the f$ck?!

        OP, how about Avignon, Brugges, boat tours on the Rhine? Sure, lots of drinking available but mostly gorgeous architecture and fun history.

        • pugsnbourbon

          Hello from Indianapolis. Columbus IN does have a concentration of excellent mid-century architecture and a walkable downtown district, but I don’t think it’s quite what OP is looking for. It’s more of a day trip unless you’re really, really into mid-century buildings

        • Anon

          Geez, y’all, sorry I brought it up. No, it wasn’t a joke and I am well aware it’s not Europe. What it is, is an architecturally very, very interesting place, with decent but not booze based food and no big crowds. Depending on how tours are spaced and the depth of your interest, there is plenty to hold interest for at least 3 days (for me anyhow). So, if you’re looking for someplace to go domestically, before travel to Europe is safe/reliable, it’s worth a look.

    • Anonymous

      Have you considered bigger cities in the off season? Luxury hotel plus architecture and culture but without crowds is a tough combination. I loved Rome in December (avoid the days leading up to NYE) and despised it in August, for example. Barcelona has great architecture too but I would avoid it in peak tourist season. Porto was lovely and small, I liked Lisbon less but the architecture was better. Madrid was nice too but a bit crowded. Amsterdam is a great city, don’t let the weed culture turn you off, but it’s packed with tourists.

        • emeralds

          Yes. I find Rome, Florence, and Venice, for example, absolutely unbearable in the season but very pleasant the rest of the year. I’ve been to all of them enough times to road-test it.

          • anon

            I spent Christmas in Venice and it was gloriously empty. OP, honestly, I would put that at the top of your list if you don’t mind cold weather, as it was quite chilly. Bologna also has a lovely walkable ancient city core, and is about 2 hours by train from Venice so you could do them as one trip. Note that I was worried about historic sites being closed over Christmas and while some things were closed on specific days, in the course of a weeklong trip I was able to see everything that I wanted to see on one day or another.

            Other recommended trips in the roughly weeklong category that sound like they might be enjoyable for you: Lisbon/Sintra/Porto; Edinburgh/St. Andrews; Cordoba/Granada (would probably want to do the last in winter, as I think Granada is likely mobbed in summer).

          • Anonymous

            Can you share the off seasons – say for Paris, London and Vienna – if you know?

          • Anon

            Same question as above – what are the off seasons for Rome, Florence, and Venice? A tentatively planned trip got delayed from 2020, and I think I was headed for shoulder season, but I’d love firsthand info as I’ve never been. In other places, I’ve found off-season/shoulder season to be more my speed.

          • anon a mouse

            I spent a week over Thanksgiving in Paris one year with my now-husband and it was lovely. The weather was cold and the days were short, but there were minimal crowds and so many places had a firelit glow.

          • Anonymous

            For London, January and February are the months with the least visitors, according to statistics at the Mayor’s office. Perhaps avoid the January sales if you’re going shopping, and Chinatown at Chinese New Year’s, but other than that as quiet as it gets in London. Not very, but relatively so.

            October and November is also slightly better, but perhaps avoid the Halloween and Remembrance weekends since you don’t like crowds.

    • emeralds

      Edinburgh, Dublin, maybe Bristol? Porto, Lisbon (take the train to Sintra if you love old buildings!). Munich, Vienna, Prague.

      In the off-season (so September-April), Florence, Seville, Granada, Valencia, Venice.

      • Anonymous

        Glasgow has lovely architecture, the architectural museum there was great. You could hit Edinburgh and Glasgow in a 5 day trip.

    • Anonymous

      You won’t get food all cooked in wine unless you’re in a wine-producing country like Italy, France, Spain etc. Further North in Europe you’re just as likely to get a butter and gravy style of sauces.There’s generally no alcohol left in food cooked with alcohol unless it’s a dessert, though, if that makes a difference. And always less chance of alcohol sauces in brunch or lunch dishes.

      You might enjoy Stockholm, I think. And Copenhagen. Edinburgh, too. Norwich, Bath, and York could be something you’d enjoy.

    • Anonymous

      Prague and Amsterdam would be good choices. Both are very manageable cities with a ton of unique architecture, history, and culture. Obviously you can partake in both but I didn’t (except a Heineken tour) and didn’t feel like I missed a thing.

    • Anon

      What kind of vibe do you like?
      Berlin has a ton of rich and interesting recent history, is modern and fun, and is easy to get around.
      Prague and Budapest are both very old and modern feeling, both beautiful and lots to explore in terms of architecture and history (plus Prague has a nice sense of humor to it and Budapest has the baths).
      Vienna is elegant and walkable, lots of cafes, art and culture, Salzburg is not far, nor is Budapest.
      These are all cities where you can see some highlights in 3-5 days, they are also possible to combine by train.
      Italy has a lot of charming smaller towns (I liked Padua) and you can fuel your culture vulturing with gelato instead of wine!
      What about the environment? Mountains or beach? If mountains and you drive, Scotland (I loved Glasgow, all of Scotland was totally gorgeous) or Norway might suit (Oslo/Bergen and surrounding area). If beach, maybe coastal Spain

    • A

      Antwerp
      Bruges
      Munich…tons of day trips
      Heidelberg
      Bath
      Edinburgh
      York
      Stratford upon Avon…combine with Oxford
      Prague
      Budapest
      Florence…with Pisa
      Sevilla…combine with Granada. If you’re Muslim, you’ll especially love the Alhambra.

  9. Anonymous

    A variation on the “friend with the awful SO” theme – what is the correct reaction, long term, to a friend who intentionally got pregnant in objectively bad circumstances? Friend is having a baby with a married man (who has small kids with his wife) and expects everyone to act like this is a super happy thing. They were TTC for months. She’s hurt that strangers react with more excitement than her friends. I’ve had to put on a happy face in the past for friends who’ve had babies in bad circumstances – teen moms, or friends who were going through break ups with the dad, or where dad was in jail/rehab… but those all felt different, like life is going to be a challenge but let’s make the most of it and celebrate this new life. This friend isn’t humble in that way, this isn’t let’s make the most of it, it’s this is what I want and it’s an unreservedly awesome thing. How am I supposed to feel and think and act here?

    • Anonymous

      I think you’re doing it right — this is really, really awful and how will life be for this kid? Especially after the parents are gone and you are left with half sibs who may be just can’t get past associating the kid with its wretched parents?

      My BIL has a half-sib who came into the world like this and the dad went back to his wife and many young kids and not only are all the kids messed up in different ways, but now they are proving to be so traumatized that they are messing up a whole next generation of kids. Some much more than others, some much less. But it’s just a mess that is the fault of the original grownups demanding a baby “to cement their love.”

      • Anonymous

        Yes this. I am not actively friends with anyone who I feel makes major life decisions that are deeply immoral.

    • Anonymous

      Oh man. I have no idea how I’d even respond to that. I try not to be too judgmental of others’ choices, but that seems really…cruel to have kids with a married man who has young kids.

      • OP

        It was my New Years resolution to try to be less judgmental of others. I’m not a religious person but I feel like the lord is testing me.

        • Anon

          There is “people have different temptations and weaknesses” and there is “some people are just crap people.” Judging the latter makes me weirdly more tolerant of the former.

    • Anon

      I say this as someone whose best friend had an affair: your friend sounds like a horrible person and the only reason to stick around is foe the sake of the child, who will need a good influence in his/her life.

      There are people who fall in love with a married person. There are people who have a weak moment and do something really stupid and insanely hurtful. But deliberately trying to have a baby with a married man who has his own kids at home? She’s getting high off wrecking another woman’s life. She’s flying her flag high of being the “winner.”

      If she gets all pouty over strangers being more excited, point out to her that strangers don’t know the details and would be substantially less excited for her if they did know. Burst her bubble, if you can.

      • Anonymous

        The only thing that would have made a John Edwards situation worse was both of them trying for a baby. Ick. I feel bad for this kid and the guy’s other kids. There is not enough therapy in this world. I hope his wife takes him to the cleaners. And that they live in SD or NC, where the wife can also sue your “friend.”

    • Anon

      So, this is just me but I don’t feel I can be friends with people who intentionally make really bad decisions that negatively impact the lives of others. I had a former coworker/semi-friend who got busted for driving drunk, laughed off, and then did it again. Sorry but there’s just toooooo much bad judgement flying around in that situation for me to deal with. P.S., I had also had a friend killed in a drunk-driving accident in college (he was just driving home from work one night and got hit) and witnessing the persistent and ongoing devastation of his entire family after the accident really turned me off to anyone who feels like drunk driving is even marginally OK.

      I just feel like if someone has no sense of self-preservation, no concern for the welfare of others, and cannot or will not make good choices, eventually that’s going to spill over and I might get caught up in something I’d rather not be part of. I chose not to stay in contact with my habitual drunk-driver “friend” and I would recommend you cut off contact with your friend the happy homewrecker. You can care about someone and still decide their choices are so unacceptable for you that you can’t maintain contact with them. Sooner or later (probably sooner) that situation is going to get really ugly. Do you want to be involved in (or around for) that?

      • LaurenB

        +1. I broke off a promising pandemic friendship (she lived nearby, took Covid seriously, went for walks, etc) bc her husband had a DUI and they had a very cavalier attitude about it – focusing more on the “inconvenience” that she had to drive him around and the “inconvenience” of having a breathalyzer thing on their car.

    • Anon

      Your friend is a narcissist. This must bleed over j to other areas of your friendship beyond the pregnancy. You don’t have to be friends with this person. In fact, I would say that by continuing to be her friend you’re supporting more of her self destructive behavior.

    • Anon

      I…am this child. My dad was a wealthy, charming playboy from a culture that didn’t value (didn’t expect men to observe?) monogamy. He and my mom had known each other for ~10 years before I came along. He and my mom were engaged at one point, but never married, and at the time I was conceived, he was married to another woman (whom he had known for only a few years) and she was pregnant with his child.

      My dad died when I was a toddler, so I never knew him and have pieced all this together through the years. I don’t know the details of that hot mess love triangle, but it involved some delusion on the parts of both women (the wife for thinking that marital vows meant monogamy to a man from a culture where multiple wives were common, my mother for…being so excited and happy about the situation and just like, not caring? about the wife?, thinking that she had first dibs on a my dad?, thinking they’d get back together? I literally do not know) and some seriously wrong behavior from my dad. To my dad’s credit, he supported all of his children financially and always treated the women in his life very well…however many of them there were.

      My mom loved my dad and my dad loved her…and I guess all the other women and children too. My mom was in her late 30s and was over-the-moon to have a child with the man she loved and who loved her back. I have no idea how she accounted mentally for the marriage – I’ve been trying to figure that out my whole adult life – but she’s never been remorseful and I’ve always been her whole world – she’s always just been so glad to have me (something she told me all the time growing up and still tells me occasionally). I mean, from my understanding, my dad was still “dating” my mom while he was married, so it’s not like my mom’s solely at fault in this weird, weird situation (and from you mentioning TTC, it sounds like there’s a lot of fault on the dude in your friend’s scenario, too).

    • anon

      I’m in the minority here, but I think if your friend is unreservedly happy about a pregnancy, the only correct reaction (if you want to stay friends) is “Congratulations! I can’t wait to meet your baby!” And, long-term, to welcome the baby without reservation. Any other reaction will end the friendship… which you may be OK with.

      • Senior Attorney

        I tend to agree with this. If you can’t be happy for/with her, then best to back away. (And yeah, that might/probably would be what I would do depending on the details.)

      • Anon

        Agreed. You can’t have your cake and eat it too when it comes to telling your friends their life choices are wrong and have them still want to be your friend.

    • No Face

      I don’t stay friends who knowingly harm others. There is enough of that in the world that I don’t need to invite it into my little corner of the universe.

  10. Anonymous

    The avocado post above reminded me of a question I wanted to ask you guys. So I know the consensus about water bottles. But what about water bottles… with stickers? Are the brewery stickers on my reusable water bottle office-appropriate? Should I cover my water bottle with national park stickers instead? Is there a ratio of brewery to national park stickers that is still office appropriate?

    • anon

      in my office, the only issue might be if your brewery stickers are from e.g. Bud Light. As long as they are from either cool breweries or tiny local ones, you’re fine.

    • Anon

      My travel mug is from a distillery… but whiskey is literally one of my state’s biggest industries and is referenced on our license plates.

    • Anonymous

      Brewery stickers would not be appropriate where I work. Alcohol advertisement is illegal here, so you wouldn’t get brewery swag anyway, but generally alcohol rules at workplaces are geared towards protecting the vulnerable and making sure there is no drinking pressure at work. All bets are off in private, but that’s another issue…

      • Anonymous

        Wow — where can you not advertise alcohol?

        I am in the Bible Belt and breweries are regarded (rightly IMO) as important small businesses in our city and they have high civic engagement.

        • Anonymous

          Norway!
          All alcohol advertisement is illegal here, from TV to logos on brewery truck sides. It’s also illegal to use social media for hidden ads, and I think there has been a few instances where bloggers have had to shamefully admit and retract pictures with product placement. It’s also illegal to arrange happy hour, and it’s not allowed to have alcohol-positive messages on beer bottles, or on bar charts, just plain factual information.

          There’s a massive drinking culture, but very strongly regulated. As an example: all alcohol stronger than 4.7 percent is only sold through a state-owned monopoly. Because it’s state owned they have equal service to all, so even if you live in the middle of nowhere the monopoly will mail the fancy wines to where you live.

          • Anon

            Ah, the vinmonopolet! My friend in Norway was telling me about how this all works over there…fascinating to an American.

      • OP

        That’s a good point about vulnerable people. I’ve never met a drink I didn’t enjoy (in moderation), but I dislike the drinking culture in firms. I drink because I enjoy it not because I feel pressured or want to get drunk. I’ll take a look at my stickers to make sure none are obviously alcohol related. Most of them are a logo that isn’t a beer can or anything I would expect to be triggering.

      • LaurenB

        Why can’t people just SAY where they are instead of this game of “well, here you can’t do X” which inevitably leads to “so, where is that?” No one can track you down based on a state / province / country.

    • Ribena

      Would be fine where I work – with the obvious caveats around if they’re either a client or a competitor of a client, be aware of that.

    • Anon

      I have a water bottle covered in national park stickers, but I also wear my Patagonia fleece and Tevas to the office so ymmv

  11. Anon

    Off chance someone might have done this. Have any of you done physical therapy for tennis elbow? Did it work?

    I’m doing these exercises with 1 lb weights and putty and doing the stretches but I guess I’m skeptical that this is going to make any difference.

    • Anon

      Give them a solid, good faith effort. PT exists for a reason. But if the exercises don’t work, go back to your doctor and tell them that it hasn’t worked. I was a competitive athlete and had an injury where PT was prescribed at first. I knew my body really well and had a feeling it wasn’t going to work but I gave it a good try. I ended up needing surgery to fix the injury but I’m glad I didn’t jump straight there.

    • Anonymous

      Is this a generic PT practice or a sports PT practice? My kid is an athlete who’s had PT for several injuries. In our experience, regular PT practices tend to focus on keeping you coming back as long as possible and therefore don’t give effective exercises. Sports PT practices are focused on effectiveness, probably because they understand that athletes won’t put up with that nonsense.

    • Anonymous

      Possibly too late but I tried PT to no avail. What helped tremendously were some very simple excersises with a rubber cylinder about 10 inches long. You hold it with both arms extended and then do a twist that stretches the tendons in the forearm. Could not believe how simple or cheap this was (cost about $15). I saw it written up in the NYT and will post a link if I can find it. Was at least 10 years ago.

    • Go for it

      I did not get pt, I was given a wrist immobilizer brace & Rx Mobic. The meds stopped the inflammation of the nerve causing the pain & the brace prevented reinjury. Meds for 7 days, brace for 21.

  12. anon

    In desperate need of a quick getaway- please comment your favorite long weekend destinations from Chicago. Drivable is preferable but a short flight could work. My immediate thought is Saugatuck, Michigan or maybe the Indiana Dunes. I just want to get out of the City where its pretty.

      • Anon

        Madison is also a nice place to live! Lake Geneva is another option in Wisconsin.

    • Cat

      South Haven, MI – I’ve suggested before. or other MI lake towns. if you do a s-te search for South Haven, there was a thread with town ideas maybe earlier this summer?

    • Anonymous

      If you’re into hiking and don’t need much other entertainment, I recommend Turkey Run State Park in Marshall, Indiana. I’ve had multiple weekend getaways there, staying at the Inn which has a restaurant serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Also on site are an outdoor pool in the summer, an indoor pool year-round, a nature center, bikes to rent, covered bridge, etc. It’s beautiful. It would be about a three-hour drive from Chicago.

    • IL

      How about the resorts at French Lick or West Baden, Indiana? Or go a bit further and head into Kentucky.

    • Chicago

      You could also do the Twin Cities or if you don’t mind a longer drive, Traverse City. My friend owns the B&B Garden Grove in Union Pier, MI and it is lovely. Kohler? Honestly though I just drove through WI and I was a little nervous from a COVID perspective compared to MN or along the lake in MI.

  13. Cornellian

    Celebrating a small COVID win today. I’ve been feeling pretty hopeless about the situation in Texas, especially since my 4 year old won’t be vaccinated anytime soon. I signed up for a booster trial for an mRNA booster yesterday, and managed to schedule it, do my screening, and get the shot in 24 hours. It feels good to feel like I’m contributing somehow (and the presumed additional protection is also welcome!)

  14. job: to stay or go?

    I’m struggling with a hard choice about whether to say at my current company or take an offer from another company. Succinct details below:

    Current Company: cash compensation is similar to the other offer, known value of unvested stock and our stock is performing well, but I’m feeling stuck in my current role. The promotion path has not been clear over the last 2.5 years, and my manager is not willing to commit to a timeline for promoting me. Next opportunity to submit for a promotion is ~5 months away, but it’s unclear if a role will be open to promote me into, even if I’m ready for the promotion. Once I get that promotion, it seems like it will be another 3-5 years before the next promotion.

    New Offer Company: early-stage start-up, first hire of my skillset, goal is to hire at least 2 people under me in the next 6 months, and an additional 1-3 by the end of next year (so team size of 3-5 by end of 2022). Equity is a wild card, since they are in the process of raising their first official round of funding (hiring the team is dependent on getting more funding).

    On one hand, I love the idea of building a new thing, without all the baggage and constraints of my current large, established company. But what if I’m not actually good enough to deliver results? What if the reason I can’t get promoted in my current company is because I’m actually not good enough? My mentors, peers, and leaders outside of my current team give me great feedback, and I have a good reputation in my field. I actually turned down a promotion-level role at another company last year (cash comp was similar to my current comp, equity was a bit lower but negotiable, managing a bigger team, more senior title), so this is not the first time an outside company has said that I’m capable of doing more senior-level work.

    Risk is minimal since my partner has a good job, insurance, etc. is comparable. So, it’s really about the role and growth path between the two.

    • Nesprin

      If the only thing you’re worried about is whether you could hack it at a new, growing company, you should go. It sounds like you’re ready for growth, have the support structure and fiscal stability to bounce back from a new job not working out.

      • Cornellian

        Agreed. It sounds like your current place is a bit dysfunctional. for me, I would jump if it seemed like the new place would be less dysfunctional.

    • Cat

      Do you thrive on wearing many hats and dealing with unpredictability? If so, start-up life is for you.

    • Coach Laura

      Sounds like general anxiety is magnified into impostor’s syndrome. You didn’t post anything about your risk tolerance, and risk tolerance is important, so build those skills. The fact that you have a partner and are not going to have to scramble to find another job/any job to keep a roof over your head + insurance should allay any anxiety on that. Some of your reaction might be like Stockholm Syndrome, where your current employer has warped your view of reality. That’s happened to me and it is hard.

      Set up a plan and write it out. Positive self-talk. Write down your strengths. Ask your good coworkers, former coworkers and friends/girlfriends what they consider as your major strong traits and write them down. Write this down at the top of your list: “My mentors, peers, and leaders outside of my current team give me great feedback, and I have a good reputation in my field.”

      Outline what the new job will entail from what you’ve learned. And ask questions of the new boss if you don’t know- there’s no harm in asking questions when you come into a start up. No one will have all the answers – that’s why they hired you.

      Start brainstorming what you have and what you need – skills needed, organizational strengths, (slight) weaknesses, challenges, strategic objectives. If you like books, read books like “The First 90 Days” by Michael Watkins for new job strategies and then entrepreneurial books like “The Entrepreneur Mind: 100 Essential Beliefs, Characteristics, and Habits of Elite Entrepreneurs” by Kevin Johnson. Maybe some books about or by startup wizzes like Bezos, Gates or Steve Jobs. Also read “Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World” by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant.

      I assume you’re going to be General Counsel, so if that is true, read about the industry and read about financial management for small/startup businesses. If your job is something else, same thing – read about the industry if you’re not part of it, learn about finance and human resource law and compliance laws applicable to your industry, if any.

      Develop contacts – other General Counsel at similar companies, for example. Go to industry conferences/attend online conferences. Develop a group of people to bounce ideas off of, your own “Kitchen table cabinet”.

      Develop management skills of both people and projects, improve interpersonal and coaching skills. Try “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever” by Michael Stanier.

      I’m old fashioned, so I think reading the Wall Street Journal (online, skimming headlines) daily along with the NYTimes and Fortune or Forbes or Fast Company. This will give you some idea of what is happening in the broader economy.

      You won’t know what you can do until you take the chance. Good luck.

    • Anon

      Remember these aren’t your only two options. You could search for a different job if you don’t get good vibes from this particular start up. But I would just go for it since it doesn’t sound like you have any misgivings about the start up. I would bet money that you’ll have to leave your current company to get a promotion.

    • Anonymous

      YMMV but I wouldn’t leave an established job where I have a good reputation – good enough that other established companies are recruiting me – to go to an early stage start up where I’m the first hire and hiring is dependent on getting funding which hasn’t been secured. No way.

      • Anon

        Right, I basically stopped reading at that point because every single thing they have promised her – salary, potential equity, building a team under her, etc. – is all dependent on whether or not they get that funding. They could not get the funding. They could get way less than they expect. They could get funding in some kind of weird deal that requires they hire one of the investors’ daughters into the position they say they’ll give her. Etc. etc. You need a lot of patience and the ability to suspend disbelief to work for an early-stage startup (ask me how I know). At 44 I am way too old to ever put up with that kind of nonsense again in my life, ever. If she’s doing well in her current position she should leverage that into a position with a solid, established company that isn’t going to have to delay giving her her paychecks in six months because they burned through their Series A funding too fast.

    • job: to stay or go?

      Thanks for all the replies and book recs! It’s such a hard choice, but I appreciate the comments and reminder that there’s a 3rd way, I can find other offers if I’m really ready to leave my current job but not quite sure this start-up is The One.

      • Anonymous

        Look for a third option over the next five months. Depends how high up you are, but I’ve worked at a lot of places where promotions are more of a 3-5 year horizon—so I don’t know if I would dismiss 2.5 outright if I were otherwise happy (but doesn’t sound like you are). If you think fuzziness around career path is frustrating, try fuzziness around role, future company path and resource availability with a likely sketchy HR situation to contend with—those are the usual flip sides of the freedom of a small company, especially start up. You being the only one of you also can mean you miss out on learning new strategies and, more important, mentoring/network building in your area (may not matter much depending on how senior you already are). I think you would be going from mildly hot frying pan into roaring fire if you leave for this option.

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