Suit of the Week: Brooks Brothers

144 Comments

1. I almost bought this except I recovered my sanity and realized that I have absolutely no where to wear this. That makes me sad but that’s my life.

   1. Not only do I want it, but I want my husband to have the matching jacket…

      1. Please do this and share pics!

         1. I totally would if it were peacocks instead of ducks.

            1. Omg yes peacocks!

   2. Don’t be sad. I wouldn’t wear this anywhere either. It is to showey for me and no one wants to look at my tuchus in a pants suit these days! FOOEY

2. I wish there were a matching skirt. I would absolutely buy and wear it.

   1. But you could buy a black tulle skirt and wear it with black sparkly tights and this jacket and be even more fabulous!

      1. Kyrsten Sinema, is that you?

3. Wow. I love this suit.

   To this morning’s OP in a rural area asking for childcare and housekeeping advice: Except for the rural thing, we are very similar! I have 2 kids. I also know a few Christian families with two working parents and 2-4 kids.
   We are busy, but we all love our kids and our work.

   Being involved with church means that you have access to three key groups of people:
   1) empty nesters who love kids
   2) SAHMs whose kids are in school
   3) young women whose life dream is to become a SAHM

   Full time childcare is best from groups 1 and 3. My current nanny is in her 60s and she is amazing. She is honestly teaching us how to be better parents. A couple with 4 kids has two empty nesters who alternate weeks. They don’t get burnt out, can easily go on vacation, etc. They’ve had this setup for almost a decade! My prior nanny was 22 and had a low paying job. I paid her more money on the table to be my nanny and she only quit when she had her first baby (as expected).

   Group 2 is excellent for housekeeping and backup care. Except during the first 2 years of the pandemic, I always have a list of SAHMs who will watch my kids if necessary. I pay the working class ones. The middle/upper class ones refuse payment so I buy them dinner.

   I live in a populated place so I have a cleaning service, but a group 2 mom could easily clean while her kids are at school once a week for extra dough.

   1. This is a well thought-out response and reminds me of several years ago when my husband was stationed for three years in the UK (US Air Force and gone for big chunks of time) and we ended up with a lovely housekeeper that was very Mary Poppins-esque, but older so a group 1 in your list. My kids were 2, 4, and 10 and she clearly adored children so her duties quietly morphed from cleaning into guiding me on all things British and also being a much-needed wise and kind helper. She was less harried and exhausted and impatient than me and also had a great perspective that “this time is precious, they grow so fast, you’ll get through this, and you’re doing fine.” The whole family adored her.

4. Pick’s like this make me wish I still wore suits for work. Today I am dressed up in jeans, white t-shirt and coral chambray long sleeve shirt. Most of my colleagues think I overdress.

   1. Honey I’m still in the loungewear I slept in + a teddy fleece. Most days I get dressed and do my makeup even tho I work from home. Today it seems like that’s not in the cards.

      1. I wear loungewear almost every day. I feel like that’s one of the major perks of working from home.

         1. I started a post below so we can all try to put-slob each other haha

   2. I am wearing A line skirts back @ work. The pandemic caused my tuchus to get bigger, and an A line skirt works best to keep men’s eyes focused on my boobies and not my tuchus.

5. I kind of want to get the pants and wear it as separates…hmm…good job BB for making me look at the brand again! I thought it had fully died after all the bankruptcies.

   1. I ordered one of the BB tops listed here a few months ago. Within 3 wears it had a hole in it. In a spot where it’s not fixable. Super disappointed.

6. WWYD? I have a very insecure baby employee (right out of college) who listed non binary pronouns in their signature (she/they) when she started with us. I talked with her when she started and confirmed that she prefers either pronoun equally. Now the pronouns are gone from the signature. I don’t know why, but if it’s because she’s not comfortable displaying them then I feel like I should step in somehow. For context, this is a male dominated industry. Other than the two of us, our team is entirely straight men. Should I say something? Find her a non binary mentor outside the team? Keep quiet?

   1. It sounds like you have a good relationship with them, why not just ask why they removed the pronouns?
      You could also add your own pronouns to your signature and see if they respond.

   2. How about “Hey Employee, I noticed that you took your pronouns out of your email signature. It’s absolutely fine for you to include them or not, but I wanted to check in to make sure that it was your choice to remove them. I don’t want you to feel pressured either to include them or to omit them. If there’s anything I can do to support you on this, please let me know.”

      1. this is such helpful language, thank you!

         1. Seems totally overboard to me.

            If I was your new young trainer, it would totally make me feel pressured….

   3. Let it go?

      If she cared, she’d probably include it.

      Do you guys require that people include it? If so, did you every ask if everyone likes this approach?

      1. We do not require it and very few people list them. Which is why I’m worried that she thinks it’s not work appropriate or something.

         She is very, very shy and insecure despite being a stellar employee. I am trying to build her confidence at work and I’m wondering if this could be contributing. Not that I know what “this” is exactly! Or maybe I’m just reading too much into nothing?

         1. Maybe it’s because everyone behaved like you and exclusively called them she and never they?

            1. The employee wrote she/they, what’s the issue?

            2. If you list two pronouns, you accept being called by either. If you want to be called by one of the two, you list only that one. That has been standard practice for, like, five years now.

   4. I wonder if the way she phrased it was causing too much confusion? Like I re-read your description because I thought “surely OP meant they / their, rather than she / they, right?” I’ve never seen anyone include two types of pronoun options in those circumstances.

      I would probably just ask as part of a 1:1 – say you noticed they were removed and did she have any concerns.

      1. I see “she/they” all the time in my context! I am not sure how other people feel, but I confess I sometimes feel like I feel like I could put she/they/whatever insofar as the way the patriarchal gender hierarchy is set up, there is “he” and then everything else. I do see “he/they” occasionally too though.

      2. Actually, I have seen that a number of times. Not the OP. And I’ll confess I don’t quite understand what I am supposed to use. If you’re OK with they, do you really want that more than she?

         1. Same. I think it’s solidarity with non binary people but I’m not 100% sure.

            1. It’s not out of solidarity with nonbinary people. It’s because they are, themselves, some flavor of nonbinary and are okay with people using either she or they pronouns.

               I can’t remember exactly where I read this, but it was some flavor of advice column by a queer person–an employer asked which pronoun they should use for a nonbinary employee who used he/they (or it could have been she/they, it was a while ago). The columnist responded that they always made an effort to use the pronoun they thought would make the person’s nonbinary identity feel more seen and honored. I thought that was a really beautiful way of thinking about it.

               For the OP, Anonymous at 4:01’s script looks solid to me.

      3. A person can have multiple pronouns.

         1. huh, I’ve never encountered it in a signature block. but in any event, it can be a thing and also confusing to interpret what the real preference might be!

            1. Nope, not that. “who listed non binary pronouns in their signature (she/they)”

      4. I use she/they pronouns, mostly because I don’t feel the need to be referred to by gendered pronouns – it’s not that important to me to always have a “female” connotation associated with me, but I still consider myself cis-gendered. I know some people, especially people with names like Kelly or Payton, have an absolute preference for gendered pronouns. As someone in a reasonably privileged position, I feel that using she/they also opens the door just a smidge wider for those who are not cis-gendered to feel like they are in an inclusive space. I do know people who get annoyed when they go by he/they or she/they if both pronouns are not used regularly to refer to them. I would have a conversation with them, ask her if she still wants to use she/they pronouns, ask if there has been an incident/uncomfortableness that caused the switch, generally talk about the importantness of inclusivity/fighting for that at work, and let them know you are there to support them/you want to see them continue to grow at work.

         1. thank you, this is very helpful

         2. But they is always correct, even if my pronouns are she/her. Before you just posted, I believed everyone who puts “they” indentifies as non-binary even with a he or she added to it.

   5. OP, I would keep quiet on this. Your coworker is fresh out of college and still establishing her own personal identity, let alone her professional identity. If she prefers both pronouns equally, she may simply have decided she wants to use “she” professionally for a bit to see how it feels. That is okay. Just be a soft space for her to land for discussion if she wants to have it. I think reaching out to her on this will cause her to spiral, as a former super anxious worker bee!

7. I’m looking for a great pool bag. My kids are old enough that I’m not schlepping nearly as much anymore, but I still like to have room for a couple of big towels and snacks. Have considered one of the Bogg or Simply Southern totes because they seem practical and come in fun colors. (Can’t be the most environmentally friendly thing in the universe, though.) I’m also considering a large LL Bean tote. I have an extra large already and it is MASSIVE. Great for storing all of our beach towels, but I’m ready to downsize a bit. Any other ideas? I prefer something that will stand up on its own; I can’t stand floppy beach bags. I’ve looked at Scout but find the number of size options overwhelming and I don’t have a local store in which to see them in person.

   1. I have the LL Bean bag in multiple sizes and love it. The only thing I would trade about it is the weight and I actually did buy a nylon version but don’t use it as much because it doesn’t stand up well.

   2. You can get a big LL Bean tote that can haul everything. I believe they finally put a zipper up top so that your clothes can hide safley below the zipper, and anything smelley can stay hidden too.

8. How did your parents talk to you about puberty/sex and how have you/will you talk to your kids about it? I realized my parents barely ever did, so I feel clueless as to how to talk to my own kids about it.

   1. My mom left a book in my room and that was it. I do not recommend that approach, though the book was informative and appropriate for its time.

      1. My mom gave me a book, and then we talked after I read it & I actually really liked that approach b/c it let me digest the information on my own without too much embarrassment and then ask her questions after.

   2. My mom just talked. And bought books that she drew attention to. I was mortified by the talks and the drawing attention to the books but I did read the books when I thought no one was looking. Oh, and my parents recorded some TV special about it and made us watch it with them. I’m shuddering at the thought.

      My kids are still too young for this talk in theory but in practice one of them grilled me until I had to choose between lying and telling the truth. I chose the latter. I’m still not sure whether that was the right decision. I explained the mechanics. Then I said that s*x is private and it’s fine to talk about it in our family but it’s not fine to discuss it in public. We had the whole safe/unsafe touching conversation again. Then kid went to school and talked about it and we got a very concerned note home from the school. Sigh.

      1. This is quite hilarious.

         1. Which part? My parents’ approach? My kid grilling me? The grilling and subsequent conversation with kid *was* pretty hilarious. “You and Dad really do that?” and we both laughed.

            The whole thing with the school is/was actually exceedingly stressful. Kid asked a teacher about s*x between a hypothetical kid and a hypothetical adult – some conflation of the mechanics and safe/unsafe touching conversation. Then when the teacher (understandably!) asked for more info, kid said it wasn’t appropriate to say more because I said not to talk about it. Spouse picked kid up from school that day and was on the receiving end of a very uncomfortable conversation and the note. They said officially the whole thing would have to be reported up some chain of command. We haven’t heard anything else and I guess that’s good? Maybe this episode will be funny some day, but I admit I’m not there yet.

   3. I feel like my parents didn’t do very much. I have a very vivid memory of one awkward conversation where my mom drew me pictures of uncircumcised penises and circumcised ones (I’m guessing I asked some question that prompted this?), but I don’t really remember anything else. I don’t remember them telling me to use protection, but they must have? I do remember my mom telling me to make partners get an AIDS test before having unprotected sex (this was the 1990s, everyone was very scared of AIDS). That must have stuck, because I did make my college BF (he was my first partner but I wasn’t his) get a full STD panel before we ditched the condoms. They waived me out of high school health class, not because they were prudes, but because I said I didn’t want to do it and they wanted me to have more time to focus on academics. I don’t think I’d make the same decision for my kids. It’s cringey for sure but there’s probably some useful info in there.

      I’m curious what other people say about how they plan to approach it. My oldest is 5 so so far we haven’t done anything beyond truthfully answer questions, but we’ve already had some fairly detailed discussions about periods (after she followed me into the bathroom) and where babies come from.

      1. I bought my kids a book and put it in their bookshelf with zero fanfare. I know they both checked it out. I did this slightly before sex ed time, maybe early to mid elementary school.

         If they had questions, I answered them honestly. My niece got pregnant while in high school and that sparked a lot of conversation about intercourse why anyone would want to do something so disgusting for fun.

         1. *conversation with my kids, not my niece!

      2. I hhhhhhated high school health class, but I do think it was valuable to have a trusted non-parent source that is also not the Internet.

   4. Haha not at all. They knew I had sex Ed at school and left it to them.

      Another reason I think sex Ed in schools is so important – parents like mine!

      1. I really appreciate the 90s era classes I had in late elementary school in Texas then later in South Dakota. Despite being conservative states, we had wonderful, thorough, non-religious sex ed in all my public schools, appropriate to grade level. There were things that could have been better, but I hope all public school kids are getting at least that quality now.

   5. I believe in starting with small topics very early, and addressing things as they come up. That way, you get a chance to refine your talk and it never feels to weird to talk about these topics.

      I think a great starting point is when kids are really little and follow you into the bathroom even when you need to change a tampon. It’s important to give a small explanation why everything is fine and how this is a normal and you haven’t been hurt. Each month you get a chance to refine your talk, teach vocabulary, answer questions, etc.

      Another great starting point is teaching children in the bath what the proper names of their parts are as you teach them how to clean themselves.

      Another thing to start very young is talk about consent and autonomy (ie, you don’t have to hug anyone, etc), so it becomes ingrained and natural.

      1. Agreed about starting small. During potty training, I let my daughter watch me, so she knows about “lady time” and we talk about our lady parts. At some point, I’ll be brave enough to consistently use proper terms, but I’m still a little nervous about her yelling the words around preschool. We just got a how babies are made book that have broached some proper terms, What makes a baby.

         1. Also I’m a biologist by training, so I really don’t mind talking about these things. The hold up is imagining her sharing all the new info with her little friends at school.

   6. My husband and I just went through this – when my lil’ man was in middle school I wanted him to hear it from us first, not his friends. DH kept saying he would do it, and it wasn’t getting done. So one day in the car, I said, let’s pull the bandaid off and just do this, and then got into it a bit. (He was shocked.) I approached it from the standpoint that this would probably be the only time I would ever talk with my son about sex, so I tried to say all the important things – warnings about disease and pregnancy, using condoms. Made him watch the tea/consent video (again) when we got home. I don’t know if I hit it out of the park but I’m glad we had the talk.

   7. My mom gave me a very basic overview of periods so I wouldn’t be alarmed when mine started, and that was pretty much it. I remember my pediatrician giving her a book about stuff but my mom would never let me see it. I also didn’t have any kind of actual health class or gardening education class through school. I learned through biology class, TV/media, my own undercover research, and life experience. As a result, for the longest time I thought of it as something wrong and dirty and that absolutely shaped my romantic life as adult. 0/10 do not recommend this approach!

      1. I’m so sorry. I kind of had those hangups too. How sad that your mom wouldn’t even give you the book from your pediatrician.

         One of my relatives wouldn’t let her teen daughters have the HPV vaccine because it was “permission for s3x.” As a result, they both have high risk HPV and one has already had a colposcopy in her early 20s. Nice job, Mom!

   8. My parents didn’t – immigrant family mid 90s. I remember back then you had to get a form signed for health class, I guess telling parents what would be covered. My mom panicked at the mention of gardening and all I got was – WE don’t do that pre marriage. Followed by long rants regarding how we should never have moved to America. For periods – all I was told was you’ll get your period. At one point my mom said to my sister who is four years older that if she would just tell me about these things then she wouldn’t have to – my sister was equally clueless. Honestly thank goodness for health class in middle school. I’m sure other kids knew about gardening, male and female body parts, and baby making but without it I would never have had a clue – awkward as that class was.

   9. My mom bought me a really informative book and let me know she was available for questions. I’m a reader/researcher by nature so that approach worked for me. I remember starting to learn about puberty etc in school pretty young, maybe grade four, so I already knew a good amount just from school.

   10. I bought a copy of It’s so Amazing! and our 8 year old son loves it. We are pretty no-nonsense, so we are using correct body terminology when having discussions, but we haven’t had “the talk” with him yet. I feel like the book is a very low pressure version of “the talk” and when he has questions, we discuss, but we’ll probably talk to him in a couple more years about more specifics.

       I remember a very awkward conversation (attempt) by my mom when I was like 11, but I grew up in a very christian household and s-x was treated like a hush-hush no-no topic. I learned everything I knew from a college course-by-mail (pre online learning) from (no joke) Brigham Young University, which was not at all detailed and more focused on overall health, for obvious reasons. This was my parents’ reaction to my sister getting pregnant in high school, which was obviously caused by the high school’s health course.

   11. My parents utterly failed in this area, so I’m trying to put in some effort to educate my kids.
       We’ve always used the proper names for body parts and answered any questions the kids have in an age appropriate way. I bought the “It’s Not the Stork” books from Amazon, and we’ve read the first couple with my kids, though not the last one yet. My son is in 5th grade, and we just recently got him a different book that is focused on puberty for boys and he is reading through it. They are about to have the 5th grade class on puberty where they split up the boys and girls, so this appears to be good timing. My daughter is younger, but I’ll probably get a puberty book for her in the next year or so.
       So far, so good, I think. My kids seem comfortable asking questions about these topics, but we’ll see how things go!

   12. My parents didn’t talk about it much, but I think that was fine. They did the basic where babies come from before my siblings were born and then it was mostly sex ed multiple times in school, which was very good in our city. My mom had a copy of Our Bodies Our Selves that I read at some point (I was one of those kids that read every book in the house, regardless of age appropriateness), and I’m sure they would have answered any questions I had, but I definitely had zero interest in discussing that stuff with my parents!

       1. I was totally the same re: both reading all the books and OBOS. I will never forget the line drawings of people with super 70s moustaches and resplendent bushes cheerfully having s*x in a variety of positions.

          1. My parents didn’t have The Joy of S3x but the parents of kids I babysat did, and best believe I looked at every single one of those line drawings. It imprinted so much on me that I still think underarm hair and a full bush are s3xy. (I have neither, though I don’t wax. I’m just not super hairy)

   13. I don’t have kids. That said, I’ve done research and taught classes in this area (undergraduate and graduate). Research indicates that the earlier and more often you talk to your kids about sex, the better outcomes they will have. I’ll never forget when asking the question to my large class of college juniors and seniors about how parents talked to them about having sex, one student out of a group of 80 said the conversation she had with a parent about sex was comfortable. This student said her mother was a nurse and normalized talking about body parts and sex. I’ve seen my own sister do this with her kids, starting at young age using explanations that they could understand. It’s hard for people to have open and honest conversations about sex if they don’t see it modeled. In fact, teens are more likely to report getting information from friends about sex than all other sources. This is scary considering how little many teens know about sex, STDS and contraception. I could go on and on about this…

   14. Please please please start talking to your kids about this early. Talk about babies, talk about periods, talk about circumcision, talk about puberty. It is so much easier to talk to them when they are six than it is when they are 12 or 14. You have to normalize this stuff.

       I also highly recommend It’s Not The Stork and It’s So Amazing as wonderful texts for kids.

   15. My parents did not talk about this at all, and neither did my schools. I wasn’t dating inclined in HS or college but when it came to it I ended up buying “Sex for Dummies” to educate myself…. so leaving that book around for kids to discover is one option. Ha.

   16. Some of these stories are reminding me of that Borges story about the Sect of the Phoenix

   17. My mother bought a book when I was nine or ten and read it to me. She also had a copy of Our Bodies Ourselves and The Joy of S*x just lying around so I was a little self taught on certain things. Even still, we never really talked too much about it.
       I really love The Puberty Podcast – it’s empathetic, inclusive, and scientific. I often use the hosts’ words verbatim when talking to my pre-teen. Sometimes we even listen to episodes together – there was one episode on periods that was really a great starting point for us. There was also a three part episode on talking about s*x with kids, broken down by age group that I found really helpful in terms of giving me language to discuss what I wanted to and gently putting off what I didn’t feel I was ready to talk about yet while keeping the door open. Highly recommend this podcast.

   18. A lifespan sex education program was developed by the United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalist churches called “Our Whole Lives.” I highly recommend checking it out. There are books for parents and facilitators for each level. The sex ed program I received in high school reinforced sexist/heteronormative ideas like pleasure is focused on the man, pregnancy is mostly a girl/woman problem, etc.

       https://www.uua.org/re/owl

9. Oh HELL yes on this suit. Big Noel Fielding vibes.

   1. That’s exactly what I thought lol!

      (Tangentially, your almond-butter-as-a-treat comment made me think of a Would I Lie to You bit – if you’re not familiar with that show already, but you like Noel on Big Fat Quiz or whatever, you’d love it! On YT.)

   2. Noel would absolutely add a cape.

10. Let’s do a what are you wearing –

    I will go first

    Unwashed hair in a claw clip
    No makeup
    Rosacea
    Heat tech tee
    Teddy fleece tunic in navy
    Soma sleep pants in navy
    Black socks (so coordinated)
    Birkentstock bostons, midnight suede, fleece lined

    Your turn!

    1. Oversized boyfriend Oxford shirt in classic blue
       Dark jeans
       Brown loafers

       And feeling super underdressed. It’s my first time back in the office this year, and apparently my colleagues all decided for new year’s that we’re back to real business casual. Multiple skirts around the office today, as well as a couple dresses. And heels!

       1. I had really hoped heels would be one of the victims of the pandemic.

       2. I saw a colleague in a sheath dress and heels today! I can’t believe how fancy she looks now compared to before the pandemic.

    2. Barefoot, pj pants, random t-shirt, same hoodie for past three days, hair in messy bun, no makeup. WFH life.

    3. Tell me more about this teddy fleece tunic! I am all about leaning into the hygge.

       1. Brace yourself for some extreme sexiness

          https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/124951?page=womens-cozy-cottage-fleece-shawl-collar-womens-regular

          Maybe it’s not technically teddy, but the fleece is fluffier than normal smooth fleece.

       2. I can’t get out of mod. LL bean cozy cottage fleece

    4. 3rd day hair, down (exercising tonight and then going straight home and into the bathtub)
       Necklace with my wedding band and e-ring on it
       Gray Banana factory cardigan which I bought for WFH when that was my life, but which is great regardless (I just wish it had pockets!)
       Purple maternity tee
       Gray and black Old Navy Stevies that are juuuust hanging on under the bump (but I wanted a tee shirt today so it wasn’t a PITA to get my blood pressure taken at the doctor)
       LifeStride traveler loafers (nothing else is comfy!)

       1. Do your rings not fit? I remember those days! I got them back on a few weeks after giving birth!

          1. Haha yup! They got too tight pretty early on, and in working them off to wash my hands I sent my wedding band down the sink drain at work, so I figured better for everybody if I find another way to wear them for now!

    5. I took a shower and washed my hair this morning but didn’t do anything else to it
       No makeup (but I don’t wear makeup normally)
       Free t-shirt from my husband’s colleague
       Free sweatshirt from the same source
       Black jersey leggings from Old Navy (I live in these leggings and am very sad they always seem to be out of stock in my size)
       Bare feet
       I’m wearing a bra at least? Haha

    6. Working in the office today but we are very casual.

       Black cashmere sweater.
       Light wash high-rise jeans
       White low top sneakers.

       Pretty basic! But if anyone can recommend jeans that are soft and actually comfy for sitting at a desk for 8 hours, I’m all ears.

       1. Levi Signature on Amaz0n. They’re stretchy and the waistband doesn’t bother me.

          1. Thank you, I just ordered a pair to try!

       2. Target’s Universal Thread High Rise Straight. The light wash are the stretchiest for some reason.

          1. Alas I’m in Canada and no Target. I feel like many of life’s problems would be solved by Target.

             1. Aw farts, sorry! And yes Target is a balm for many pains.

    7. Vintage cashmere sweater in a color I love
       Levi’s bootcut dark wash full length (my how I hate cropped flares)
       Pointy toe Flats
       No makeup except for my patchy brows
       Watch, metallic stud earrings

    8. Black turtleneck, black pinstripe pants circa 2017. Hair and makeup done. Pearl earrings. Wedding ring. Yoga socks.

    9. Kut from the Kloth straight leg jeans
       Amour vert navy striped long sleeved sweater
       Allbirds sneakers
       Old Navy oversized blazer

       Actually feeling quite put together since I’m in the office, compared to my usual WFH Costco-sourced lounge wear.

       1. That outfit sounds very cute!

    10. No makeup
        Hair down and vaguely wavy, not straightened or curled
        Slouchy greige sweater
        Black joggers
        Cream Ugg slippers (a top 3 pandemic purchase for me, highly recommend)

    11. fuzzy socks
        black jogger sweatpants
        t-shirt
        sweatshirt branded with my company logo (though it’s not visible in video calls)
        day 3 hair in a clip (but I only wash every 6 days so that is normal and not slob level for me)

        best part of WFH for me. I find professional clothing to be uncomfortable to the point of being distracted so being able to work in comfy clothes has done so much for my productivity (though I make it a point to change out of pjs every morning into clean loungewear)

    12. Gray Zella sweats. An old Ann Taylor long sleeve wool blend tee in a dark wine color. Short socks and no shoes. My “office” (uninhabited spare bedroom) gets warm in the afternoon, so my black uniqlo hoodie has been thrown on the floor. I did try on a cute new pair of CRZ Yoga joggers this morning and I planned to wear them, but they’re a bit lightweight for NJ winter so I’m looking forward to wearing them in a few months.

    13. Sleeveless DVF wrap dress
        Long cardigan
        Tights
        Low-heeled almond-toe suede boots
        Wedding/engagement ring, apple watch, earrings, and crucifix
        Mascara and Charlotte Tilbury Walk of No Shame lipstick

    14. Can I hi Jack this thread for a question I’ve been thinking about the last few days? Is there a work from home equivalent to guys wearing an athletic half zip for work from home? I really want to be totally comfortable, but I’m getting tired of changing on the days when I have to be on camera. I am usually the lone female in a sea of finance Bros. I think I want some thing to pop on over a T-shirt like a shawl collar sweatshirt. I’m relatively senior too.

        1. Lululemon define jacket?

        2. Pranayama Athleta topper / wrap

        3. My female General Manager at a west coast Biotech always wears a fleece vest to anything below an all company meeting. You could just have a cotton tshirt on underneath. She’s one of those tall, naturally commanding types, but no one’s ever commented on her style.

           1. That’s very Silicon Valley.

    15. Gray stonewashed chambray-ish shirt
        Black straight leg jeans
        Docs
        Eyeliner, mascara and lipstick (always)
        $1 signet ring from the antique store + wedding ring (always)
        Silver earrings shaped like hands

    16. Heat tech tee
        Snoopy PJ pants
        No makeup
        White socks

11. If you missed Sinema’s yellow dress last night, this thread has plenty of entertaining gifs. https://twitter.com/igorbobic/status/1623132366574088194

    I’m wondering what color the carpet is in the House chamber. Because she was certainly dressed like she was on a red carpet last night.

    1. The first thing I thought of (and this is obscure) was when Sophie Turner did a commercial? for Vogue a few years ago in a very elaborate dress with shoulder wings like this in which she showed you how to change a tire. I distinctly recall her slamming something into place and her shoulder wing flapping, and then she smiled at the camera.

    2. the carpet is red!

       1. oops, they must have changed it. I just saw a pan showing carpet at the SOTU and it’s blue now.

    3. Ok I don’t like her but I love that dress. I think i saw it at anthro?

    4. I saw a random FB comment that said “WHO is wearing that YELLOW dress???” and I knew without even checking who it was.

    5. I must confess I find both her political or sartorial choices deeply confusing.

12. Has anyone with a lot of weight to lose started with a bulk or a “reverse diet”? (I’m the one who posted the other day about not losing after a month of great eating.) I can’t imagine eating 2300 calories daily without greasy takeout or brownies being involved.

    1. I have never heard of this and it doesn’t make much sense to me. I’ve lost weight sloooooowly at my doctor’s recommendation (he recommends a pound a month for sustainable weight loss) by just counting calories. I’m over some days, under some days. Sometimes the needle on the scale goes up rather than down when I know I’ve been “good.” Stick with what you’re doing and it will eventually move.

       Can you see a registered dietitian under your health plan?

       1. a pound a month seems sooo slow, but that makes sense that it is more sustainable. i’m currently trying to lose like ~10-15lbs and it’s been about a month and I was up today from last week and it is so hard for me to stay motivated and not throw in the towel when i feel like i’m not seeing progress, though at the same time i logically know that ‘slow and steady wins the race’

          1. Accept that your weight will change slowly and that there will be periods of time where the scale does not change at all, especially since you are just starting out.

             I recommend taking your measurements as well. There was a 4 month period where my weight stayed the same but all my measurements got smaller. It was nice to see the progress!

             1. Plus one to this. I lost one pound in a month but decreased my body fat by 2% and increased my muscle mass as indicate by my weight loss doctors fancy scale that measures all the things.

    2. This is a terrible plan. Did you go to the doctor as was suggested?

    3. Can you be more specific about which was your original post, to help with the backstory?

    4. How tall are you?

       Also, I don’t think this is a thing. You’re not going to lose weight by eating more calories than you’re consuming. It’s bro science.

    5. Hey OP – just want to validate that a month of great eating should produce some results. And, many times throughout the quest to loose weight people acted like if I wasn’t getting results, I just needed to diet harder and starve myself more or I was lying about what I ate. I think that’s bad advice – other strategies have lead to more success, and not made me miserable. If you post a burner email I can give you some names of practitioners and books that have helped me (and avoid debating calories in/calories out here).

    6. I’m just here to say I could eat 2300 calories in a day without breaking a sweat.

       1. I could eat 2300 calories off a single charcuterie board, I bet

    7. 2300 calories is not very much and would not cause most active people to gain weight. How tall are you? How are you measuring your current caloric intake?

13. Do you have your pronouns on your business cards? I’m cis hetero.

    1. Not on my business cards – those are ordered by some unknown person in HR. I do have them on my email signature.

    2. Nope. I see them frequently in email signatures but not on business cards.

14. Your concept of calories may be skewed. 2300 is not a ton of food, and it is very, very easy to hit that without fried food and brownies. It is super easy for a entree salad to be 800 calories. That is one made at home with some added grain and protein, not swimming in dressing. A restaurant one can easily be twice that.

    1. Ha! Jinx!

    2. This. A single bowl of Asian noodles or rice bowl with meat and veggies can be something like 1500-1800 calories. I routinely saw this in my company cafeteria – and they were healthy menus.

    3. +1 A lot of people who try losing weight and then get frustrated when they don’t are vastly underestimating the number of calories they eat. If you want to accurately count calories you need a food scale.

15. Does anyone have good recs for packable puffer coats that will work with a larger bust and more around the mid section? I have one from Quince, but I can’t wear anything but a t-shirt under it without it being too tight – going up a size did not help. I guess I am looking for a coat that doesn’t really come in at the waist but still in compact enough to shove in my bag – SF weather problems! Thanks!

    1. I’m large busted and apple shaped with no hips and I love my Patagonia nanopuff. I actually have a M and L, one for wearing with more layers or when I’m fatter and one for when I’m thinner (I’ve been on and off medication that causes my weight to fluctuate a bit and I’m short enough that gaining just 5-10 pounds makes me jump a couple sizes). I’m too short and too busty for most Patagonia clothes, but this is the one thing of theirs that actually fits me. They’re both 5-10 years old, though, so fit may have changed some over time…

    2. I find my Patagonia down sweater pretty forgiving.

    3. I like my lands end! North face just came out with bigger sizes in the last year or two also.

    4. Yes! I just bought this one and I adore it! I had to get a L to fit over my 36DD chest but I love it and I can easily wear a sweater AND a think puffer vest under it. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07JW51WNR/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

       1. Ugh. In mod but recommend the Columbia Women’s Mighty Lite Hooded Jacket — I’m a broad shouldered 36DD and size L gives me plenty of room for bulky clothes underneath.

    5. Uniqlo. The answer is Uniqlo.

    6. sweaty betty has a great one.

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