Suit of the Week: Calvin Klein

Calvin Klein Suit Separates Atlantis CollectionFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

I feel like I’ve seen a bunch of designer suits with this general look — bright royal blue, cropped pants (here’s an example from Theory, but I feel like I’ve seen some bigger names too — Stella McCartney? can’t remember or find them now). For a lower end version, I like this bright blue set from Calvin Klein. There are actually about 5 pieces in the collection — the blazer, dress and pants pictured, as well as a belted blazer and a pencil skirt), and all look like they’d be versatile workhorses. The jacket (Calvin Klein Jacket, Stretch Single-Button Blazer) was $129, but is now marked to $109, as is the dress (Calvin Klein Suit Separates, Color Block Sleevless Sheath Dress); the pants (Calvin Klein Pants, Colorblock Straight-Leg) are now $75, all at Macy’s. Try code WRAPIT to get an additional 15% off plus free shipping with a $99 purchase.



  1. Love. This.

    • Same. I am one of those folks who can’t get enough cobalt blue.

    • Diana Barry :

      Ugh. I hate hate HATE this, but then again you all know my stance on cobalt. ;)

      • I love cobalt (though maybe not in a whole suit) but I really don’t dig cropped pants suits.

        So…not for me. But I’m sure it’d work on others.

        • I was thinking the same thing. I love the color, but I’m honestly surprised that cropped suit pants are still a thing. For work. Hmm.

      • I hate cobalt too!

      • Research, Not Law :

        I hate it, too. Too bright!

    • Anonymous :

      Thoughts on the printed shell? Is it ugly or a great way to pair this color with black?

    • I am goeing to ask the manageing partner if he think’s I would LOOK good in this BLUE! It is being sold at MACY’s, which is real close by to here, so I could EASILY pick it up over LUNCH. Mabye I should first have a look MYSELF before askeing him.

      It would be my FIRST purchase in along time! Yay! I did NOT even buy anything for the holiday’s, YET! But that will have to wait until NEXT week, b/c I will be very busy tomorow and I am takeing off Friday to recuppereate! Yay!!!!!!

  2. Wow, LOVE the suit and dress. Very cute.

  3. WorkingMom :

    Who wears Cole Haan shoes? I need some new basic pumps… I hear they are super comfortable, is it true? Mind you, I am used to wearing 3 inch heels on a regular basis with not much of an issue!

    • I’ve heard from lots and lots of people that they are crazy comfortable. But when I tried them on, they were a wee bit narrow for my feet, and I generally wear a straight size 9. So if your feet run at all wide, be prepared that they might be too tight.

      • SF Bay Associate :

        Too narrow for me, too, but ok in “wide” for my normally regular-width feet. I also don’t think the quality is that good anymore. I’ve given up my CH for Kate Spade.

    • I have many pairs of the Air Talia wedges. My feet are on the wide side, but I have no problems and find them incredibly comfortable, even with a lot of walking. Highly recommend.

    • locomotive :

      I love the Air Violet (2.5″ I’m a high heel wuss). It is without a doubt the most stable, comfortable heeled shoe that I have ever worn. I now own 3 pairs in black, nude and purple.

      I also own a pair of 2.5″ Air Talias that are not as comfortable and I think it’s because the Talia is more narrow than the Violet in the front and pinches my feet a bit. I also have slightly wide feet and the Violets are great for me.

    • I bought a pair recently (Air Violet 90s) and even though I went with the widest size they are a bit too narrow for me and feel like they have very little padding. A lot of people swear by them, but after a few wears mine are now up on ebay. Sigh.

    • Cornellian :

      I am pissed at CH right now as I bought my first pair about 3 mos ago, have worn them ~15 times, just got them reheeled for the thirt time, and when I was standing at the copy machine the heel fell clean off the shoe! the entire heel! I don’t even know what to do about that.

      • Equity's Darling :

        Yeah, same here. I bought two pairs of the Air Talia’s, and the heel broke on the black one three times, and the fourth time was beyond repair. This happened after three months or so of wearing 1-2 times a week in the office. I was pretty unimpressed with the quality, I’ve never had a heel break on any other pair of shoes I’ve owned. I find them comfortable, but for their pricing in Canada, I expect a shoe that can keep its heel for more than a month at a time.

      • I also had a shoe break. The heel was still attached, but it was sunk in. Almost like the shank broke. CH was remarkably unhelpful and wouldn’t refund my money. Their shoes generally fit me well though so I limit myself to outlet finds.

    • TO Lawyer :

      I don’t have overly narrow feet and my CH’s pinch my toes. Also – they somehow got less comfortable over a year (maybe I wore out the padding?)

      I tried on a pair of Stuart Weitzmans and found them to be much more comfortable. If only I could justify $300+ for work shoes…

      • Try Nordstrom Rack. I’ve seen Stewart Weitzman there fairly regularly on discount.

      • Bluefly often has them for around $150 as well. I’m in love with these right now:

      • a passion for fashion :

        this. im always a fan of the SWs — for my money, they are always worth it.

        • Totally agree. I buy 1-2 pairs per season, usually on sale. The Platswoons are very comfortable even though they are high. And they come in 11.5’s, which is my true actual BIGFOOT size. I have had certain pairs of SWs last for years and years and years. I just tossed a pair that I bought in 2002. For realz. They are worth it.

    • I think they’re overrated.

  4. TJ – Does anyone have recommendations for drugstore brand clarifying shampoo? I have fine, limp hair, but lots of it.

    • Kontraktor :

      Shampoos from the Giovanni line are great. They are a more ‘organic’/natural/whatever type brand, but I can get it now in Target, CVS, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc. This brand has no sulfates and came highly recommended as a good balance between price and better ingredients. I use the tea-tree level of clarifying shampoo (I think it’s level 4 out of 5) and I like it. I feel it’s gentle enough for daily use, but you could go down a level if you wanted. It sells between $6-8/bottle depending on where you buy.

      For days when my hair was/is super grimey/gunky, I just use the basic line of Suave clarifying shampoo. Probably not the best for my hair, but I use a lot of styling product sometimes and really just need to get it out. I follow up with the highest level of moisturizing conditioner from Giovanni and that seems to work fine.

    • I add a spoonful of baking soda to a handful of my regular shampoo and it makes a decent clarifying shampoo. If your scalp is itchy/flaky, a couple of drops of tea tree oil added to a handful of shampoo helps.

      • I did this after someone (perhaps you mascot?) recommended it here. I’ve only done it a few times when needed, but it works great! The product I use in my hair is a oil with a gel like consistency, and the baking soda manages to remove a lot of the buildup.

    • Constant Comment :

      I like Suave clarifying shampoo

    • I’m a fan of the Herbal Essences line. They have cutesy names like “None Of Your Frizziness”, but they are my every day shampoo regardless.

      • manomanon :

        Their Drama Clean shampoo/conditioner is amazing. I have major buildup on my scalp and this takes care of it in seconds. But, at least in my neck of the woods it hasn’t been in stores for months so YMMV.

    • Anonymous :

      Neutrogena has a good one. Otherwise, find the cheapest bottle that says clarifying on it, and that will do the trick. I liken VO5 to paint thinner, but it does get everything off of my hair for a very cheap price.

  5. S in Chicago :

    How great is their suiting? I love that they make so many different options in the same color. It’s nice to be able to get a few different pieces and always know that at least one combo is sure to be really flattering. Like Garanimals for adults.

    CK also tend to offer a lot of different options in the same fabric year after year. So great to be able to adjust to pants vs. pencil skirt vs. a-line skirt on whether it’s a fat day. And even size up (or hopefully down) to get a new skirt or pants without having to buy a whole new jacket, too. Not something I pull out for anything important at work, but CK definitely gets a lot of use in my day to day.

  6. anotheranon :

    The internet is giving me mixed signals on this so I thought I would try here – do you send a thank you note to your manager after a promotion? (apologies if it’s been discussed before – I don’t recall seeing it)

    • I vote no. You earned the promotion. It is not a gift that the manager gave you.

    • So–I would say as a general response, no. But there are lots of circumstances where I’d say something like a “thanks” is appropriate:
      1. your manager recommended you for a promotion that transfers you out of his/her department. A “thanks for helping me learn/grow” type note would be appropriate in some cases.
      2. You know your boss lobbied hard to get the promotion for you–and you have a great rapport.

      I’m sure there are others…I had a boss that tried for 2 years to get me promoted, but there was no budget. She finally got me a pay bump, a title change, and I got pulled out of her department after a few weeks. She got a thank you note, but it was more of a mentor-like relationship.

    • Unless there are unusual circumstances, I think it’s inappropriate.

    • Your manager should send YOU a thank you note for your promotion. For being so awesome and all.

  7. e_pontellier :

    Hi hive. I saw petitesq and De paged me this morning – *bashful* hi ladies!
    I’m alright. DH is working from home today but we are (apparently) pretending nothing happened. I wrapped some holiday gifts and am having a relaxing day. I have some social plans later (yay!) and hope to actually talk with DH tonight. He’s particularly fond of ignoring problems so I know I can’t let that happen, and tonight would be the first chance I have to speak with him. My finals are over, which is amazing, but I have to work on my note (40 page paper) now so I’ll pick that back up tomorrow. Thanks so much for everyone’s support.

    • Wait I thought you were leaving him for good? How can he pretend like nothing has happened??

      • LadyEnginerd :

        I too hoped that staying with a friend would get the ball rolling on that front. e, if you can’t rely on him for exams, and need to get away from him in order to study, please please think very hard about whether he would make an acceptable father and whether you could ever have children while you are with this man. I also question whether DH is the correct abbreviation, unless d stands for ‘despicable.’

        • e_pontellier :

          Leaving was only for 2 nights while I got through 2 exams. I have never stood up for myself before, and so leaving him altogether at this point is unfair. I owe it to myself to try to make our marriage happier and healthier, and I have to start by letting him know I’m unhappy. It is so helpful being able to post here and be reminded that I’m not the crazy one, but I also haven’t been the amazing, strong, smart, assertive women that you all seem to be. I’ve been incredibly passive and complacent, so rather than just disappearing one day (I do love this man, as much as you all hear only horror stories) I need to start being a reason for him to change (or at least refrain from being an a$$hole). Thanks for all the emails and internet hugs.

          • Charlotte Peloux :

            I’ve been following your story ever since I got here (not long ago), but I respectfully ask you to rethink some of your assertions:

            “I owe it to myself to try to make our marriage happier and healthier, and I have to start by letting him know I’m unhappy”
            1. You have already let him know you’re unhappy. So many times. He knows and he refuses to do anything to make you happy other than temporary band-aid tricks he learned from crappy romcoms. Wining and dining don’t fix the underlying issues.

            2. You have already tried with the marriage, but your word choice suggests that you think you are the only one who can save the marriage. It takes two. Think of being in a boat where both need to row to keep the boat afloat. You can row yourself to death, but if he won’t do anything, you’ll sink and drown. Do you want to drown together? I say he’s not worth it. Save yourself. You can’t save a marriage on your own. You can, however carry a zombie marriage on your back for the rest of your life. Life is hard enough without this kind of dead weight and rot.

            “I need to start being a reason for him to change (or at least refrain from being an a$$hole)”

            I think a lot of your ideas are very noble, and wrongheaded and damaging to you.

            1. Change comes from within, it can be encouraged from outside, as you’ve already been doing, but he shows no real signs of changing.

            2. And no, don’t be so down on yourself. You’re basically saying, “if I were a better person, then he’d be inspired to change.” You’re completely 100% wrong here. I have to lay it out like that because it’s dangerous to believe this.

            3. You, as you are now, with all your good points and flaws, are worthy, and worthy to be treated with respect and love and support by your husband. Besides, he married you as you are, with all your good points and flaws, and vowed to love, accept, honor, cherish, and he’s broken his vows time and time again.

            Stop turning it back on yourself. It’s your husband who hasn’t measured up in all the ways that matter. And yes, it’s his fault. Even if you love him.

          • e_pontellier :

            Charlotte, this is very helpful.

    • Hi Lady. Just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be bouncing back and forth between CT and NY for the holidays, and would be more than happy to meet you for a drink or seven (I believe you’re in the city, no?) As you are always the one to follow up a broken heart post with such a suggestion, you definitely deserve the same!
      Lots of love.

      • e_pontellier :

        Ha, yes I’m in the city and seven drinks would get me in trouble!!!

    • Notes can be just as much of an emotional roller coaster as the rest of law school. Most people start off into it and then feel really stuck and overwhelmed at a certain time. Carve out time and emotional bandwidth for it.

      • +1. And good for you for trying to work on it over break. I had every intention of doing that, but a lot less work got done than I planned, as I recall.

        • e_pontellier :

          Yeah – I have 32 pages written so far and a Dec. 28 deadline, so working over break is pretty mandatory. It’s definitely a ton of work but the big push was in November when my “over 30 pages” draft was due.

    • “Ignoring problems”… could he be “training” you? Like the Shamu article from last week?

    • Sorry I feel like I missed something. You moved out yes? And people were worried for your safety? but now you are back there and you guys aren’t talking about anything that’s wrong? Are you moving forward with the divorce?

      Sending lots of love, and hope you know my questions are coming from a place of huge love. But I feel like I watched the heroine take big steps but suddenly I am back to page 1.

      • e_pontellier :

        I’m sorry to hear you feel back to page 1. Everyone IRL who knows what’s going on (and what’s been going on) is very supportive and feel that by my leaving for 2 days, I took a huge step in the right direction. Now DH & I just have to actually talk about *why* I left for 2 days, instead of pretending it didn’t happen.

        • in my thoughts :

          E, I know you might not read this in time. But I would really encourage you to talk to your IRL friends and find out how their husbands/partners would have reacted in this situation. On the bell curve of how significant others would respond, your ‘DH’ is much more than two standard deviations from the mean.

          If I left my husband for two days, either without explanation or even with a logical explanation, my husband (who was my husband through law school and a note as well) would make it the center of his attention upon my return to find out exactly why I had to leave, and to take whatever steps were necessary IMMEDIATELY to make sure I never felt so overwhelmed/stressed that I wanted to leave again. He’d also give me a massage and a gift certificate for a real massage and probably flowers with a note that said how excited he was to see me back. Then we’d discuss at length, which we’d have time to do, because he would have nervously done every domestic chore in the house during my absence.
          But maybe more importantly, when I am stressed and overwhelmed I am drawn closer to my husband, because he is such a supportive person. So I can’t even fathom needing to get away from him in times of woe.

          I am so worried about you, woman. I have been down the road you are going down about ten years ago, and gaslighting is the worst. Ever. Take your time so you don’t regret your steps, but don’t doubt yourself.

        • But you just went back and are letting him give you the silent treatment. So what was the point of leaving? He didn’t even care/notice you were gone. Youve given him 300%, watching you grovel to him to try to save your marriage is so frusterating. you deserve a million times better.

    • Hey lovely! I’ve been thinking of you, too. Congrats on finishing finals!!!!

      And, I do also think you need to make him talk about this behavior. But whenever you need to vent or even be excited about the things you ARE accomplishing, come here and there are tons of {{{Internet HUGGGSSS}}} waiting for you!!!! <3

    • I am praying for you and your husband that whatever happens, is right for you.

  8. Okay, I need some self-talk suggestions. I had an interview Monday that I thought went *really* well. Loved the interviewer, liked the firm, liked the practice area, yada yada yada. At first I was worried that I’d just spend the next three weeks obsessing over whether I’d get a second interview (they’re not doing it until after the holidays) – but now I’m having the opposite reaction. I feel like I’m getting myself prematurely depressed over a rejection that I can’t help but feel is inevitable…and its put me in like a two day funk.

    How do I keep myself positive without getting overly excited? What’s the middle ground????

    • This time just C :

      This is exactly how I feel about a new guy I’m dating. No solutions. Sorry!

      • Job hunting is very much like dating, IMO. So many bad boyfriends before you find the one!

    • TCFKAG – I’m crazy busy at work but I’ll try to e-mail you later because I went through this this summer. (Also, for c, kind of feeling that way about a guy right now myself. Eek).

    • Okay, here are a few ideas, maybe one of them will be helpful. Also, internet hugs, which are *always* helpful! :)

      1) Really try to put it out of your mind altogether. You can’t do anything about it until you hear from them again. You’ve done what you could, and you know it went well because you can remember feeling like it went really well. It is entirely out of your hands at this point, and you should be able to enjoy your holidays, and you can’t do that if you keep obsessing. So just remind yourself that you’ve done your best, and it’s not up to you at this stage. It is what it is, but it’s nothing until you hear from them in a few weeks. FWIW, this is my current strategy as I wait to hear back from the graduate schools I’ve applied to, with a little of 2/3 thrown in. :)

      2) Alternatively, if you want to feel like you’re doing something, move ahead as though you will not get it. I know that might be depressing, but try to think of it as empowering. Do research on other positions, write cover letters, send out applications. This way you don’t have to feel helpless while you wait. And you may find other things appealing, which can help take the edge off of the “OMG this is my dream job and no other job can ever be this great and what will I do if I don’t get it and they probably didn’t like me and I really want this job and I’ll be so crushed….” etc.

      3) Combine 1 & 2 by putting it out of your mind and working on something unrelated to take up your attention. Is there a work-related project that is interesting or exciting that you can put time and energy into? Writing an article for a trade journal? Or a guest blog post for a blog in your field? I’m in academics, so these are the things that come to mind, but you get the idea. If you don’t have to work on career-related things, what about holiday baking or crafting? Anything that makes you happy, keeps you busy, and keeps your mind off of things. Plan a party! Design a garden! Whatever.

      Good luck!

    • SF Bay Associate :

      This is a wine and cookies, versus a tea and sympathy moment. Hang in there girl. Remember to be a good lawyer – don’t assume facts not in evidence, and note your lack of foundation for personal knowledge. You just don’t know their decision yet, good or ill. You DO have personal knowledge that your interview went very well, so that’s a fact. Hang on to that. All you know so far is good :). Anything else just calls for speculation ;).

      • SoCalAtty :

        Love this suggestion SF Bay Associate! I’m going through it right now too, and this speaks right to my little litigator-trained heart :)

      • Haha. I love this answer.

        You should have ended it with “Boom! Lawyered!”

    • Diana Barry :

      When I was in that situation (same slow interview schedule, over the summer/everyone was on vacation), I just tried not to think about it (distractions! holiday cookies! squirrel!), and to move forward with other interviews as if I hadn’t just had the great one.

      But good luck! We are all pulling for you. :)

      • +1 on moving on to other interviews. See if there’s another job you can get really excited about so you’ve got another iron out there getting all heated up in case this one falls through.

      • Gail the Goldfish :

        Yay for Up reference

    • Remember how in law school during finals, when you thought you bombed an exam it turned out to be your best grade for the whole semester? Maybe it’s the same thing here. Don’t beat yourself up on something you don’t know went wrong.

      And yes, let yourself be distracted by squirr–BUNNY!

  9. So, I got asked to work on a project. A project that I’m really interested in, but don’t have the bandwidth for.

    This was sent from the guy that asked me to do the project, to my boss (who forwarded it to me): “I think she is the only one I have worked with who has the talent to pull the transformation off…..but I had no right or permission to ask her…so I am begging forgiveness and direction from both of you!”

    How does one even respond to this? Tell my boss I can handle it? Tell this guy I don’t have time?

    • Wow, that’s cool – congrats on the compliment! :)

      If it were me, I’d be really tempted to see if there was any way I could make it work. Otherwise, if you think it’s likely you’ll have time for similar projects in the future, you could respond that while you are thrilled that he thought of you, and you are really interested in these projects, you just don’t have room for it right now. If you can, include an approximate time when you think things will be light enough to take more on.

      • I know. I want to do it, and want to do it much more so than some of the other stuff on my plate.

        I already replied with a strategy where I could do it in baby steps, as, apparently, I’m the only person capable of this. Which might be the sad, sad truth.

        • I think that’s a great plan. Especially if its something you want to do, and especially if this project might lead to others that you want to do. Good luck!

    • That’s awesome. If you really want to do it, talk to your manager and see if you can offload some of your other work to someone else and pick up the project. Don’t make yourself crazy trying to do everything.

      • yes! Go for what you’re good at/what you want to do more of, so you don’t get stuck with the crud that’s on your plate now. Manager clearly supports you doing the cool project, so ought to be willing/able to find a way it can happen.

    • No Problem :

      Sometimes the best opportunities come at the most inconvenient times.

    • I would totally jump on, but speak with your boss about lightening your load of (ahem) less interesting/pressing projects. That is to say, get rid of the CR_P and jump on this cooler project! This is usually phrased in law firms as “I would love to help with W, but I am tied up on X, Y and Z. Is there any way that we can discuss my workload, responsibilities and bandwidth so that I can assist with W? I look foward to working with you” And then dump, dump, dump the less interesting stuff.

  10. JustSayNo :

    A colleague of mine, with whom I had a great working relationship, has left my company to start his own (non-competitive). He’s been asking me to forward him some things, such as a weekly news update our company sends out internally and to clients. I was OK with that. But today, he asked me to send him a copy of a powerpoint presentation–one that he created while working at the company. It’s the sort of thing that I would have taken with me before leaving, but he didn’t–and I feel really weird about just sending this stuff over to him.

    What’s a good way to tell him that I’m not comfortable? Does it matter at all if I am hoping to get some consulting work out of this guy in the next 12 months?

    • I would just not respond to that particular email. Blame the holidays, end of the year, whatever. I’ve just seen way too many cases where a departing employee takes something that seems harmless like a PowerPoint, and that little document becomes the center of litigation. The last thing you want is to have sent it to him. I’m sure it is completely harmless and maybe you company wouldn’t even care, but it’s just not worth it in the off-chance that it becomes a problem.

      • JustSayNo :

        That’s what I was thinking– let this one go unanswered. It’s the sort of thing that if I were leaving, I’d take with me. And he should have, but he didn’t.

    • If you feel weird about it, don’t do it. I’d say, “I want to help you but I’m not sure I have authorization to send this file to you. Let me check with ____. ” Also, you didn’t ask, but everything you do is traceable by your employer and I’d be leery of communicating anything about your company to this person. And, in my opinion, he shouldn’t be asking you to e-mail him anything that isn’t publicly available.

      • I think this sort of message could give him the wrong impression, i.e., that you’re not on his side 100%. I’d ignore it.

    • Can you clear it with a supervisor? “Hey, Jim asked me to send him a copy of the Whirlygig presentation he put together a few years ago. I just wanted to be sure that was alright with you.” If his new gig is non-competitive, it shouldn’t be an issue, but this way you can CYA. If your supervisor says no, you can just tell “Jim” that Supervisor X nixed it.

    • People take powerpoints with them? Why? Aren’t they company-specific? I’d feel weird about that… PPs are on company templates, etc. How great can a PP be?

    • Maybe reply with “I think that technicaly may be proprietary info. Why don’t you clear it with (Manager)?” You could get in trouble for something like that.

  11. So the dr’s office called….

    The nurse said that my dr recommended I do further STI testing. I’ve been married for over 18 years, dh had one partner before me, and that was 1.5 years before me. I 100% trust him and absolutely do not think he’s cheated. I told the nurse I’d been in a monogamous relationship for over 18 years, so she was going to check with my dr to see if it was really necessary as I don’t have any symptoms. It was Gonorreah, Chlamydia (I can’t spell) and one other I don’t remember that the recommended test was for.

    So, as someone who has never worried or concerned herself with thinking about STIs in the past, is it possible that I could have had something for almost 20 years without realizing it? I’ve had courses of antibiotics in that time. Wouldn’t that wipe an infection out? Dh also hasn’t had any symptoms, but men don’t always show symptoms, right?

    Any thoughts? The nurse I talked to said she’d call me back and let me know what the dr says. And for now, let’s leave the cheating possibility out of the discussion. Dh & I are very close, have a great relationship, and I won’t believe cheating is a possibility unless it’s absolutely the last rational explanation. And even then I’d probably take some convincing.

    • Do you think that it might have just been a routine suggestion?

      • Gail the Goldfish :

        or, if it would require you to come back into the office for another sample, an excuse to bill insurance again for something that’s really not necessary? (it happens)

    • It’s possible they just saw something weird and want to rule out any other possibilities. Alternatively, some forms of BC they recommend STD testing beforehand. Did you guys talk about anything like that during your visit?

      It’s odd for a docs office to call you back multiple times, specifically for routine STD testing. It could be something as simple as new protocols for how often to test for STIs (FWIW, I think there’s no harm in continuing regular STI testing, even while in a monogamous relationship).

      Is it possible they saw some evidence of PID in your pap, and want to rule out an STD cause for it? I assume if you’ve been married for 18 yrs, you are past the point where your fertility is a major issue to you (I’m sorry if I’m misinterpreting!) so even PID wouldn’t be the end of the world.

    • Maybe – I think chlamydia has no symptoms, but it’s also likely that they saw something unusual and wanted to eliminate those STIs as a cause.

      It’s weird though that the nurse didn’t say why. I hope they call back soon.

    • I’m not sure if this will make you feel better, but….

      My mom had a similar experience. She’d been married 25+ years, went to the ER with severe abdominal pain, and they told her it was one of the STIs (sorry, I don’t remember which one). She also trusted my dad completely and knew he hadn’t cheated. So she flat out told the docs they were wrong because whatever they were diagnosing was not possible. They did more tests and it turned out to be appendicitis.

      All I’m saying is the docs could be wrong and it’s not an STD. I’m so glad you have a husband you trust completely.

    • Thanks everyone for your support. It could be a new policy, although it didn’t really sound like it. It sounded more like something strange popped up on the bacterial swab she did (not yeast) and she was recommending further testing. It’s a fairly new dr office for us – only my second annual there. Oh, and we’re in Canada, so no insurance fraud concerns for me. Dh had the big V 5 years ago, so birth control isn’t an issue. And I’ve never had regular STI testing because I was a virgin when I got married, and didn’t see the need. I believe some routine tests MAY have been done when I was pg in the past, but it wasn’t a concern for me at all, so I didn’t pay much attention.

    • Anonforthis :

      I replied in your earlier thread that I once had a call-back and had signs of HPV. I then got a colposcopy (with no meds!).

      The rest of my story is that I, too, was in a long term committed relationship, and neither myself or my gentlemen gardner (who is now my DH) had been having parties in any…other gardens.

      Apparently these things can be latent, OR you can have a false positive. I was tested, extra tested, then put on a schedule of 2 paps/year for several years. It never came up again.

      Let me tell you. I had MANY words with my SO. It’s really hard to think that nobody has been visiting other gardens when after years of normal paps, one comes back with an indication of HPV.

      • Thank you – knowing that things can be latent for many years helps. I also thought about the false positive possibility. It’s good to hear stories from others who have been in a similar situation.

        I’m not super worried, but I am concerned, mostly because this was totally out of the blue, kwim? Last thing I was expecting from the phone call was a recommendation for STI testing, let me tell you! LOL.

        After being married for almost half my life (next December I will have been married for half my life) the last thing I’m concerned about is STI. Yes, we got married really young, but we like to say we’re the exeption that proves the rule that you shouldn’t get married so young. In many ways we grew up together, and he’s my best friend. :)

        • Just FYI they can be latent, but not for that long. I love the story about your DH but if it is a STI, (not HPV, which can be dormant for long periods) it most likely is a recent aquisition. I think the most likely scenerio is that its not an STI at all.

        • Seems to me that they’re just being scientists and not ruling anything out without solid evidence that it isn’t there. Having the tests done can’t hurt, but just make sure you move on to whatever the next step is as quickly as possible, maybe even before the results are in.

        • I wouldn’t worry about this, at all. I’m also monogamous/married, and my gyne asks me to do STD tests all. the. time. Inflammation on the pap? STD tests. Abnormal bleeding? STD tests. All very vague gynecological symptoms that could be caused by STDs, but are not necessarily STD related. I think that doctors are generally right not to rule out STDs for married women without further testing, and if you haven’t had one in a while (or ever) it makes sense that they would suggest it if you have anything abnormal pop up on your annual.

          I’d do the test just so that your doctor can feel satisfied that s/he has ruled that possibility out, and there may not even be any follow up after that. Something like inflammation on a pap could be a sign of an STD, but also could be that your cervix was just irritated from a recent LGP or some other (not serious) reason.

  12. SF Bay Associate :

    Lyssa, I hope you and baby are doing well. And countdown for EC MD for the arrival of her baby as well!

    • Seconded. Hugs to both of you, and looking forward to an update!

    • Sending good thoughts to the littlest new ‘r3ttes and their moms. Hope all is well with both of you!

      • Congratulations to Lyssa and all the new and soon to be moms – I know there are lots of you (hopefully my new book on memory will help and I can remember all the things in 2013).

        I hope all the new and soon-to-be babies have picked out their handles for this site. Hello, priorities.

    • Me too! A baby is a wonderful Christmas present.

  13. Hey everyone, I saw this and wanted to pass it along! I think I’m going to stop by Hallmark and pick up a bunch of cards tonight!

  14. Hi DC friends! In case anyone was concerned the donations from the meetup have been safely delivered to Bread for the City. We ended up with a $25 smart trip card and $40 in cash – thanks!

    Also, after our meetup, one of the attendees created a LinkedIn group for DC (readers of this blog) and I’m happy to announce that our little group has had its first networking success – another member of the group had applied for a job with my company, she saw me in the group and contacted me, and I just met with her. You can find the group by searching for DC [Thisblog]s on LinkedIn. (Yes, Kat knows about the group.)

    I hope everybody’s winding down for the holidays and is able to take a few days off!

  15. Pregancy Question - :

    Sorry to ask – but need some smart ladies’ responses. Is it odd to go for a 1 hour glucose test during the first trimester (only 9 1/2 weeks along)? I was told to go this weekend for one – but am wondering if my nurse is a moron.

    • Research, Not Law :

      Yes, that’s unusual. It it’s for routine screening only (no symptoms or risk factors), then it’s likely an error.

    • Merabella :

      Have you been showing symptoms of gestational diabetes? Thirsty all the time? Not pregnant, never have been, but this doesn’t seem out of the ordinary for me. If you were pre-diabetic before – or have a history of this in your family it doesn’t seem far fetched to have it checked out.

  16. momentsofabsurdity :

    Guy With No Furniture’s gift is done! I am giggling to myself at my desk at his card. For those who don’t remember, he is way not into gifts, thinks we should all just give each other cash, thinks gifts are a deadweight loss to the economy, etc etc. He said he thought about giving me cash, first, before giving me my real gift on my birthday, just to see my reaction. Then he said he reconsidered, because he didn’t think I would think it was funny (he was right, I wouldn’t have).

    I stuck a $10 bill into the card I will give him (along with the gift) and wrote, “I hope the cash makes up for some of the relative allocative inefficiency of this gift. Merry Christmas!”

    Man, I am such a nerd.

    • Love it. Love it all.

    • I’m loving these guy-with-no-furniture updates!

    • I’m doing something even sillier. We’ll be apart for Christmas and I bought him something extra special for his birthday in November. I assumed we wouldn’t be exchanging gifts but he insists he’s getting something for me. I did order something from VS for me/him, but I bought a card and I’m going to write something special in it and instead of mailing it, I’ll email pictures of the outside and the inside, then I’ll leave it on his nightstand for when he gets back. Too goofy?

      • Anonymous :

        No! I think that’s cute! Can you get a picture of it sitting on his nightstand? I’d leave the inside a surprise for when he gets back.

    • Econ jokes! Yay!

    • I just showed this post to my husband. He laughed out loud and approves mightily. He is an econ/finance nerd. So you’re definitely on the right track.

  17. Long Tall Sally :

    Short pants – no, absolutely not. Spent most of my childhood in “flood pants” and refuse to spend one moment of adulthood with my poor naked ankles (and up to 1/3 of my calf) peeking out. Sorry, Thom Browne, this is one trend that will stay out of my closet.

    • Haha–yes, I can relate! At 5’8″, I’m not *that* tall, but “floods” were such an object of ridicule all through school that I really can’t see ever wearing them on purpose.

      • Completely agree. It took me a while to come around to 3/4 length sleeves, too.

  18. Research, Not Law :

    Might be too late, but stocking stuffer ideas for technophiles? It’s for my dad (I’m suddenly doing my parents’ stockings this year – long story, don’t ask) who loves computers, college sports, and non-fiction. I have Wired mag subscription. Considering an ipad stylus, but he’s gone a year without one? He’s not a knick-knack guy, so things like floppy disk coasters are a no-go. I’m trying to avoid gift cards.


    • Check ThinkGeek or, oddly enough, The Container Store. I got an email from them the other day with cute techy stocking stuffers. If they still had the dragon flash drive, it would be mine.

      • Oh yes! I was just at a Container Store this evening and there were tons of great techy stocking stuffers.

      • Research, Not Law :


        TCS does have a suprising number of tech items. I never would have thought to look there!

        He doesn’t have an iphone but I know what to get him when he does. I’ll see if there is something like that for the ipad.

        The ipad ear thing is PERFECT as he is hard of hearing and the volume on his ipad is insanely loud.

    • SAlit-a-gator :

      Does he have an iPhone? Just found out about the Ollo clip 3 in 1 which turns your iPhone’s camera into a micro lens, wide angle lens, and fish eye. The sample photos look awesome and I think it’s a good solution for taking quality photos without bringing a separate camera. I can’t speak from personal experience if it good. Maybe check Amazon reviews?

    • there’s a really cool plastic thing that sends the sounds from your ipad back to you ..

      I tried cupping my hand around the speakers, and it did sound better!

    • Batteries? Cell phone/universal chargers? A fancy stylus? Gloves with those tech finger pads?

  19. Networking question. I will be attending a multi-day CLE in February. I am a newish attorney (<5 years of practice). Some former professors–some adjunts, so also practitioners–are on the faculty. Would it be ok to email them just to say hello, remind them how I know them, and mention I am looking forward to seeing them at the CLE? Is there other info I should include? Thanks in advance!

  20. style advice needed... :

    I can’t believe I’m asking this… but has anyone else bought one of the Women’s Kirkland signature button down shirts from Costco?

    I bought one. 98% cotton, 2% Spandex. Some nice colors (I got cranberry). The fabric is quite nice, with a good weight. Clean/nice seams. A little shine from the Spandex on some of the colors, but not others. Decent structure – slightly fitted. I think I paid $17. We’ll see how it washes/lasts, but honestly… as with many things at Costco…. quite good quality for the price.

    They run large. Unfortunately the small is a bit long/big on me. Regardless, I may buy another if they go throw the wash well!

    • I haven’t bought one, but I might now.

    • DH likes the men’s shirts from Costco, and they seem to be holding up — comparable to the Lands’ End ones he used to get, at half the price.

      • My father wears the non-iron dress shirts from there and has been impressed. I’ve not tried the ladies version.

      • style advice needed... :

        I’ve heard the Men’s shirts were somewhat popular (I’m not sure I believe the blurb that Romney wears them…), which is why I stopped to look at the Women’s.

        The collar, sleeve cuffs are reminiscent of a men’s shirt. Very firm with a starched quality. I think I like it. This is a structured women’s shirt. But 3/4 sleeved….

    • SAlit-a-gator :

      I haven’t bought one, but my DH’s entire dress shirt wardrobe is from there and I’m very jealous that he can get such awesome, wrinkle-free shirts for $17. They look great and hold up well. I’ll have to look if they carry them for women at my store now, because I haven’t seen them before.

      • style advice needed... :

        Yes… it is so annoying that men can get so many staples at a fraction of the effort/price. Haircuts, shirts, cleaning bills…

        And I do think this women’s shirt may be wrinkle free as well. Instructions inside indicate wash in cold water, iron “if needed”.

    • Maddie Ross :

      Not sure it’s the exact same one, but I bought two white no-iron buttondowns from Costco (Kirkland brand). For white no-iron shirts, they were fine. I wore them to death without any fear of yellowing or other stains, given the cost. The no-iron-ness did not last as long as say, my shirts from brooks brothers, but it lasted at least a year or so and both were in heavy rotation.

    • I have one and love it. Love that it’s non-iron. Perfect for under suits or sweaters.

    • Divaliscious11 :

      Yes. I like them and they have great colors.

  21. Any advice on what to eat when nothing tastes good? I’ve lost all interest in food and am struggling to get a bare number of calories in. My current tactic is Harvey Nichos lemon shortbread which will get expensive quickly (also: nutritionally bankrupt). I’m trying to hit 1200 a day as a minimum but I am tall and quite active (walked 9 miles over the course of the day) and I know this isn’t enough. Pb is my go to but even that isn’t palatable.

    • Also, smoothies make me gag and I haven’t done well with cheese or ice cream.

      Feeling increasingly frustrated since I haven’t been running at maximum brain power and keep having embarrassing dizzy episodes.

      • I think you should see a doctor. Ive totally been there when I just dont want any of the food around me, but the hunger always wins out for me

    • Have you figured out why you’ve lost all interest in food? That seems to be a bigger issue than what you can eat to hit max calories (take out comes to mind).

      • It was weird, I thought it was new meds but looking at my food diary, it’s been happening for a bit longer. I just am not really hungry and go too long without eating (some days up at 7-8 hours) and then I am past the point of hunger. It’s almost become a thing to go a really long the without food.

        I’m not particularly streased, have been super active and social over the last few weeks, and am quite happy with my life. It doesn’t feel like anything physical (although a cup of soup and a slice of bread gave me a stomach ache).

        • style advice needed... :

          I would seriously think of checking in with your doctor. Has your sense of smell changed? That can sometimes cause you to loose interest in food. But so sound like you are going down a slippery slope, so get checked out.

          On another note, I completely understand how you can train your body overtime to going on long stretches without eating. During my Medical residency, I frequently didn’t eat all day as there was no such thing as lunch. Often didn’t eat for 12-16+ hrs. But when I did eat, I ate with passion and didn’t have less appetite. Your upset stomach with eating minimal food is a real problem and is not normal. See your doctor.

        • saacnmama :

          Eat more often. My stomach (and my son’s) kind of “closes up” when I push past the first twinge of hunger. You might not even notice that little signal anymore, so maybe you should set a timer to make sure you eat something every 3 hours or so–cheese and crackers or some other starter like that. For us, if we make ourselves have that first little bit, we find that we are very soon able to eat much more.

          • Thanks everyone, this is super helpful. I have a doctor’s appointment after the holidays so will definitely check in then if the problem persists.

    • SoCalAtty :

      California Pizza Kitchen pizza, that did it for me. Or a soup that you really like – Whole Foods has great soup. I lived on that for some time.

      Food had no interest for me because I was sick, but I still had to eat, and it was really tough for a while. Keep trying things, something will eventually interest you! Hugs!

    • I would definitely check with your doctor. When I am queasy, I can keep down hot chocolate. When I spend extended time on boats, I live on hot chocolate. If you’re not queasy (sounds like you’re not), what about some cold cereal, instant oatmeal, or other childhood/comfort foods?

    • I’ve been experiencing this recently and am in the middle of a bunch of testing to figure out what’s going on. For me, bland stuff goes down easiest (plain pasta, rice, bread) – it doesn’t really appeal but at least I’ll eat it and it’s somewhat calorie-dense.

      Nutritionally bankrupt is the issue, as you point out – I’m having a lot of trouble with meat of any type, or fruits/vegetables

      It is worth a doctor’s visit, by the way – there are a lot of issues that first can turn up as a loss of appetite or other stomach upset (severe nausea, in my case, is the other symptom).

      • I agree with this and would say to see a doctor now — not in a few weeks, after the holidays. Especially since you’ve already been undereating for a while.

    • French fries are my go to. 100% unhealthy, but always taste good to me.

      I also alwayslike roasted sweet potatoes or yams.

  22. SoCalAtty :

    The news came! It was good! The next “milestone” will be next Friday, so here’s hoping! (And then if this good thing actually happens I can tell you all what it is!)

  23. Atlantis Overload :

    I have bought several dresses in this color from CK from Nordstrom in the past year, but returned all but one since I don’t need more than one dress in this color. I actually wish that they would use this color less and make dresses in a larger variety of colors! I keep buying them, but when I see them next to the one I already have I always decide to return them.

  24. I would never wear a whole suit of cobalt but I have a pair of very similar pants from the Gap that I wear in my very casual office with a black blouse and black/cobalt/red/may other colours patterned silk scarf, and black flats. It’s an instant happy making outfit for me, think its coming to the Christmas party on Friday…

  25. Hey rosie, I did make the curried lentils and brown rice (with yogurt and pita) for the work potluck today and you were so right. I can’t tell you how many people thanked me for making what was the only substantial vegetarian dish on the buffet. Even the deviled eggs had bacon in them! There wasn’t a single bite left. I’m batting a thousand so far on potlucks this year. I haven’t brought home even a tablespoon of anything.

  26. Yet another gifting in the office dilemma: a new secretary started today in my group. We are exchanging gifts in our group on Friday. I can pick up a good variety of things locally, I am just not sure WHAT to pick up – she will be working with me, and beyond that, it’s just kinda awkward not to have something. Not sure if she drinks alcohol.

    • Anonymous :

      Gift card to lunch place around you that you would recommend?

    • saacnmama :

      Gift card to Star*ucks or the nicest mall in your area? A small container garden/potted plant that she could either keep on her desk or take home? Bossypants or similar book?

  27. I think the #26Acts idea is so sweet and have been trying to figure out what I can do. I’d absolutely pay for coffee for the person in line behind me, but I don’t buy coffee and I bring my own lunch so maybe I’ll try the supermarket or do something nice for a co-worker.

    Has anyone else started this?

    • Bunkster, I just looked it up. I paid for some stand time at the bike co-op recently for a guy who looked like he really needed his bike for transportation, unlike most of the “lycra bikers” there otherwise. I teach my son to be helpful when he can, like today he noticed a toy on the floor beneath a toddler’s high chair in a restaurant, picked it up and gave it back to her. Seems to me you can’t really think up stuff in advance (unless you’re going to go volunteer time somewhere) but you can keep your eyes open for opportunities.

    • I don’t know what the 26Acts is exactly, but I try to carry a few grocery store gift cards, so if there is someone asking for money outside, I can give one to them. Similarly, if someone is asking for money outside a cafe/coffee place, you can invite them in with you and buy them lunch. I don’t go out for lunch that often, but sometimes if I’m out on the weekend I’ll run into the bagel store to get a quick snack, so that kind of thing.

      • The grocery gift card idea is brilliant. I am going to do that.

        • +1. Lots of panhandlers in Trampa

        • + another 1. Brill. I was coming out of Trader Joe’s last night and a woman said to me “Excuse me, ma’am, I’m hungry and cold,” and I had absolutely no cash on me whatsoever. I felt terrible. Gonna buy a few gift cards for the grocers I haunt, there is often someone in need right outside.

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