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Workwear sales of note for 3.24.23:
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything
- Athleta – 20% off shorts, swim, linen & more
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Boden – Up to 50% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance styles to 70% off. Some pretty serious markdowns!
- Express – 40% off dresses & tops
- J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty
- Talbots – 25% off select styles; 25% off markdowns
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- What are your favorite parts of a typical day?
- At what point in your life (age, income level, whatever) were you able to take an annual vacation?
- What shoes can I keep at the office to go for mid-day walks (that go with everything)?
- How do you release stress or trauma that’s stored in the body?
- What are the best “networking for women events” you’ve ever been to?
- I feel like we’re burning through any savings we acquire…
- I hate my job and make 30% of what DH makes – should I quit?
- What do you keep in your office?
I need ideas for a trip away with my husband to celebrate our anniversary in August. It’ll be our first vacation without our son. 3-5 days, depending on location. We’d be flying out of Atlanta. We generally are city people who like to eat/drink/walk around, but could be convinced to go a luxe spa type route (but I have no insight into luxe spa vacations).
Initially I was thinking New Orleans since I’ve heard it’s not kid friendly (so better to do it now!) but also, is that insane in August?
New Orleans in August sounds insane to me, but I live in Alaska. I would literally melt. You’re probably much better equipped coming from the Atlanta area :)
I live in NYC and went to NOLA in August because it was the only time I didn’t have law school classes or an internship. Avoid at all costs!! It was fine as a broke law student, but you walk around for 10 minutes and you’re soaked.
I went to NOLA in mid-July about 3 years ago. I live in DC, and I hate the heat and humidity.
But… there’s something about New Orleans. I had the best time. Yes, it’s hot and humid, but we had a bit of a breeze off the water. Plus you can drink frozen Irish coffees as you walk around!
We also did a bicycle tour, with cocktails – you ride one of those fat-tired bikes around to different sites and learn a little history while you drink a cocktail. I am not a great bike rider but had the best time on this tour. The company is Confederacy of Cruisers, I highly recommend.
We visited the World War II museum, which is awesome. Spent about 4 hours there and only made it through the War in the Pacific. I need to go back to see Europe. Plus New Orleans is home of the Museum of the American Cocktail, which sadly I did not get to. I also want to take a ghost tour and see the voodoo museums, even if they are hokey.
Yes, it’s hot and sweaty, so bring, like, 2 outfits per day. But if you sort of lean into it, it’s not that bad. We got a great rate on a hotel, too, Ritz Carlton right down town for $100 a night. The only thing that kind of bothered me was that you could not get cold tap water, it all came out warm.
Where is NOLA, and why do peeople go there if you sweat so much? FOOEY! When I go on vacation, I want to be pampered, and that means in a place with good air condition. I also like a day spa where I can be slathered in moistureizer after taking a hot steam. Dad talked me into this rather then go to Elizabeth Arden, and I now would go back to the baths downtown before going uptown to Elizabeth Arden, even tho I love that too!
I’d do Asheville, NC. You can decide if you want more of a downtown vacation or a rural getaway. Plus with the mountains, it will be cooler than Atlanta.
I’m not tied to staying in the SEUS at all, although then flight time obviously increases.
Oops, threaded my reply wrong. Sorry!
I would not go there then. I love it, but it is very sticky then.
That’s good weather for Asheville if you must be in the SEUS. They have an airport. Also: Greenbrier (driveable from DC; not sure where you are).
Chicago is lovely in August. I love New Orleans, but it will be hot in August.
New Orleans is more kid friendly than you might think (outside of the French Quarter, but also some things downtown). On the other hand, August is a no. I just bought tickets to the B-52s at the Saenger for late August and some friends are flying down from DC for it, but I was careful to warn them about August before we committed. It’s f-ing miserable and nobody wants to be outside.
yeah… New Orleans will be steamy and also stinky. I went in October and thought it was still a little pungent.
October is when we are DYING for the weather to break, but it just doesn’t and we switch to lightweight dark clothes because we want to burn our summer clothes.
If you want to cool down, come to San Francisco in August!
To me this would be a great choice. Between the time change, the hills, the wine, and the expense, this wouldn’t be a trip you’d want to do with kids anytime soon so enjoy it with your SO!
Boston? With fun little excursions around New England?
I live in Nashville, and Nola in August sounds insane. The last two times I’ve been were in May and it was borderline too hot then.
Why don’t you look at Montreal? You can have a really nice long weekend there. There are spas, including one on the water (Bota Bota Spa). I’m assuming the weather in August would also be nice. (I’ve only been in January but still loved it.) Food was great. Very cosmopolitan, walkable city. Everyone speaks French. You really feel like you’ve gone somewhere different but it’s as far away as Boston.
I second the Montreal love, of course, and there are direct flights out of Atlanta. I can’t promise perfect weather but August is typically lovely.
I’d also recommend Quebec City, though 5 days would be a long time there. With the old city and all the French it does not feel like just going next door. Maybe see if you can do 2 days in QC.
+1 I got engaged on a trip to Montreal and Quebec City, it was so wonderful I loved them both. Great food and drinks, we were there the end of June and the weather was great.
It will be hot AF in August, but that’s true of pretty much any city.
Not the west coast north – San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Vancouver, Victoria
No hot summers there
No hot summers there . . . yet!
Seattle has had some pretty gnarly heat waves in recent memory.
Montreal? Great food, drink, and sights, and it is a short flight from Atlanta (<3 hours)
Thanks for the reality check on New Orleans! We’ll steer clear. Montreal and SF are contenders.
Alternatively, any recs for a resort in the middle of nowhere? My husband liked the look of Amangiri (in Utah), but that’s not in the budget.
With 5 days, I’d do a Portland + Oregon wine country trip. You can spend a day or so in Portland (I love the Heathman) and then head out to McMinnville (a short drive from Portland) and do a few days of wine tasting. I’d stay at one of the McMenamin’s hotels in McMinnville. Could also spend a day driving up the Columbia Gorge to Hood River. You should have fantastic weather/views that time of year.
Seattle would also be a good trip with 5 days, and you could stay overnight at the Lodge at Snoqualmie Falls for a bit of time out of town, or drive down to Mt. St. Helens.
The Russian river is gorgeous in August. We go for a week every year. Not too hot, not to cold. Just right.
This is the OG booking site and still the best around :
Anon for this
I second the Russian River love – we have a vacation rental there, here’s a link
There are some NOLA locals here who obviously know more, but I thought NOLA was super kid friendly! There are lots of nice parks, it’s really walkable (and the streetcars and boat rides would be fun for kids) and, like pretty much any major city, there are the usual kid-friendly attractions (zoo, aquarium, kids museum, etc). I travel a lot with kids and I think cities are pretty much the easiest thing to do with toddlers, since you can just put them in a stroller or sling and walk around as you normally would. I take my kid to most restaurants that aren’t tasting menu type places, but if you care about really fancy meals, it’s easy enough to get a babysitter in the evenings for that. Montreal is super kid friendly as well. The hardest things for us to do with little kids are 1) places that are remote or involve multiple plane flights/long drives to reach, 2) vacations that involve a lot of moving around, staying in a different place every night (it’s so much easier to have one home base with kids) and 3) attractions that are obviously not suitable for kids, like a spa or Michelin starred restaurant.
I would say go for the spa or drive the California coast (SF, Monterey, Big Sur, maybe some wine regions or all the way down to LA depending on the pace of travel you want).
Inspired by Hermione
Seattle is beautiful in August and there’s a bunch to do (but not so much you feel like you’re missing out). It’s onciously a bit of a trip from Atlanta, but I think it’s a perfect August spot. Warm but not humid, gorgeous views, city or mountains or sound or islands, fun place to spend a few days.
I am biased.
I echo this, though. I adore Seattle. I haven’t been in a while and only a couple times, but I just love it. The perfect combo of naturally beautiful and aesthetically weird.
Y’all killing me with these comments about NOLA. We have A/C here, and plenty of it. Nothing is better than walking through the Quarter on a summer day and ducking into an ice cold bar just as the late afternoon shower hits. (Pat O’s just as the dueling pianos take the stage comes to mind as a favorite for this.) Pro tip: if you get sweaty enough the A/C will freeze the sweat and you’ll feel really cool after. Yes, it’s hot, but that’s part of the experience. ;)
I know that there are lots of lawyers on this board. Has anyone checked the update to the MoFo class action, that they are asking for sanctions against the plaintiffs’ attorneys?
I used to read employment law cases and found them terrifying. I should stop (but as a working parent, this is my reality). Ugh.
Thanks for flagging the sanctions motion. Whoa!
I don’t understand why MoFo moved for sanctions because plaintiffs’ lawyers are arguing that a release is unenforceable. Negotiated releases like these are typically enforceable, but I don’t see how just making the argument that it’s not is worthy of sanctions.
To me, moving for sanctions just makes MoFo and their counsel Gibson Dunn look like jerks or like they’re trying to distract from bad facts.
I think it’s the latter.
Problem with a med provider
My husband’s periodontist is trying to bill us for the difference between what insurance will pay and what periodontist office billed the insurance company. They insisted to my husband in office that they can do this for prior and future services. We got the EOB for the future service and I confirmed with insurance company that they cannot bill is for the difference – they are in network contracted provider and therefore must write off the difference. I contacted office and manager insisted in a very unfriendly way that they don’t care, are not under contract and will bill us. Told her I will take business elsewhere unless they back off. Then I called insurance company back and turned the
In. Insurance company lady was super helpful and intervened on our behalf by calling the provider and confirming we do not owe difference. She also recommended other periodontists in area as this one is not friendly or helpful – we will go to a different one. Question – at what point is this fraudulent? If I didn’t make phone calls and escalate this nothing would change and if I paid the bills unknowingly I am out the $$. This is crap….
If your state has a statute against balance billing, the periodontist is in violation of that and you may be able to report them.
Just find another dentist and move on. Don’t waste more of your mental energy being mad at them.
I kind of agree. But if a quick google search would reveal the board that oversee and licenses this person, I might file a complaint with them. But whether I would actually do so depends on how pissed off I was at the office and how much free time I had.
Yeah, I get that, but she’s already let the insurance provider know and the tone of her post sounds much more vindictive than trying-to-warn-others.
We are getting an online snippet from a stranger. Let’s not tone-police too much, because psychoanalysing from a distance is usually not a great idea.
Helpful advice would be: if you do some investigating and find out that this is not allowed in your state, consider filing a complaint with XX to prevent it from happening to other people. But decide how much energy you want to put into this and always know when you’ve “done enough.”
I’m not tone policing because I’m not attacking OP’s points by attacking her tone. I’m not attacking OP at all. I’m pointing out one piece of information in that small snippet we got. That’s a reasonable thing to do.
“the tone of her post sounds much more vindictive than trying-to-warn-others” is quite exactly tone policing. You’re attacking her points by attacking her tone. It’s precisely what you are doing.
Get your dental records first, then find a new periodontist, then review them accurately on Yelp.
You don’t have to determine at what point it is fraudulent. Report them to your state board of health, state of board of insurance, state board of business (just use the same letter, who cares), state board of consumer services and let them do the work and move on. You don’t have to say “fooey” though.
The term is “balanced billing.” Many states have laws against this. You could also report them to your ins carrier- you’d probably look at the provider network/network relations department.
You could also speak to the practice owner (typically this is not the billing manager- May be your dr, a group of drs, etc) and explain what happened and that you are taking your business elsewhere but here’s why. You could also do this as a memo copying the health plan or state.
It is crap, but it may be some confusion around balance billing. This stuff is complicated and I think it’s a stretch to assume fraud. It could very easily be simple lack of knowledge (which is still b.s., but not intentional and therefore not fraud) on the office manager’s part.
I agree with the others. Get your records, find a new doc, review them online if you’d like, and then quit worrying about it.
OP here, this is the input I was looking for. I am moving on and not looking to vindicate here…it could very well be a balance billing confusion matter, but it could be fraud too and that’s what I was curious about….. The insurance company treated it as a matter of confusion and I thought it was fair – provider claims they are out of network and insurance company says they are in network – let’s give them the benefit of the doubt, but that doesn’t mean we will stay with this provider. In fact, insurance company recommended moving to a different provider. This scenario proves that if you aren’t smart enough to ask questions and understand how insurance works, you will lose $$
Yes, your last sentence is absolutely true.
To add a bit more context, balance billing is permitted in certain circumstances. In my state (Texas) it is particularly common for dental practices, because many many dental practices are not in network for anyone. I don’t think that’s unusual for dentists in Texas, though (I had the same experience in Georgia). Dentist visit costs $x. Insurance reimburses $y. I am responsible for x minus y–this is normal and not fraudulent. The problem arises when there is a network contract at play. (And, yes, I know this is not a dentist, but it’s dental-adjacent, so I wouldn’t be surprised if some issues bleed over.)
Balance billing is generally permissible anytime a care provider is out of network because they are not under contract to accept the rate paid by the insurance company. I don’t *think* that is specific to Texas, but certain aspects of it may be.
Eh – if it’s not fraud, then it’s malpractice. I wouldn’t give a doctors office a pass on understanding balance billing, since it’s what they are doing most of the time. If the office manager doesn’t understand it, then they shouldn’t be managing this sort of office.
Agreed–I don’t give them a pass either (hence changing offices) but I also don’t know that it rises to the level of fraud. Office managers aren’t licensed professionals so how would it be malpractice? (Genuinely curious if there’s some other recourse in other states (or even in mine, TX) because, hoo boy, do I have some complaints! I have reported my insurance company to the TX Dept of Ins and got exactly nowhere. I don’t suggest bothering. I do suggest voting.)
I’d report them to the state. I think it’s worth it. It might not be fraud, but I think it could fairly be called fleecing.
Balance billing laws are tricky. Many of them only deal with emergency rooms, where naturally you’re not checking to see who the heck’s in your network in case of a heart attack.
Mine tries this on every single visit. I solve it by stapling a copy of their agreement with my insurance company to the bill, with the balance billing prohibition highlighted, and mailing it back to them with the bill marked as paid in full. Probably overkill, but they have the absolute worst invoicing system I have ever seen. The actual dental work is great but the admin side of things is a mess and I take no small amount of pleasure in telling them to get their act together.
Unfortunately, there are not many providers in my area and the few others I have tried were horrible. One tried claiming that my (nonexistent) filling was deteriorating and needed replaced. Another chipped enamel off my tooth with their tool and tried to pretend it was somehow my fault. So I put up with inept office staff in exchange for decent dental work.
OP here, yes this is what’s happening….Its the front office that’s the problem – every time we have to validate the bill and tell them we don’t owe and they continue to insist that we do….we are fortunate to have other in network options in our area.
Is it Friday yet?
If you like the actual practitioner, I would try to get a message to them directly that you are moving practices based solely on the incompetence of their front office. Depending on the size of the office and how it is run, they may very well have no idea this is an issue, thus perpetuating the problem. There are lots of medical/dental office managers that shouldn’t be.
Does anyone feel like shopping? I’m looking for a dress to wear to my brother in law’s rehearsal dinner near Philadelphia later this month. The wedding is formal but not black tie, and at the RD, the men will be wearing jackets and ties, women will be in happy (not sexy) cocktail dresses. So far, I like this dress linked below, but looking for a similar option- shades of blue, with a texture or print, tall size 12, hourglassy. I’m trying to be festive and appropriate but not stand out.
I still like the lace overlay dresses in happy colors. Nordstrom has a couple. The Eliza J ones might work well with your figure.
I’ve always liked this one and it comes in a few blues/greens: https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/astr-the-label-lace-midi-dress/4565648
This is pretty too: https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bardot-eloise-lace-dress/5209922
This sounds like a Dress the Population Dress! Links to follow. They have them at Nordstrom.
Classic Fit & Flare: https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/dress-the-population-catalina-tea-length-fit-flare-dress/4937787
Twirly Skirt for Dancing: https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/dress-the-population-alicia-mixed-media-midi-dress/4686720
Thank you, I had never looked at that brand, or had it come up on Nordstrom searches before but just ordered two to try on for a September wedding.
I’m in a difficult situation at work. I work in a research institute where some of the work we do is for external partners, broadly speaking industries. The lab is sort of like an academic research lab. There are reports that have to be provided to these partners. I have been in this job less than a year but I have noticed that my boss gives deadlines for the reports to be delivered sometimes without any regard for how long it will take me (and sometimes it’s other team members) to complete the work. The last deadline he gave was for a report due on Mar 1, I missed it partly due to the delivery of another report being delayed. Soon after I got sick and ended up contacting the person I was to send the report to say it would be late. In a team meeting I realised that my boss did not even remember he is the one who gave this deadline.
I’m posting this because next week or the week after I am meeting with the lab director to discuss my progress in this position. Yes I am working on finding another job as I know some will advise. But for now I am here. They say industry projects are political for the lab and I get that but at the same time the managerial style is abit chaotic– I know I cannot say this to the director. But how do I convey that the deadlines are missed because of what I mentioned above. I feel that most of the time I am portrayed as someone who is incapable of doing the work requested. Also another deadline was missed for the same report because when I sent a draft of the report I had written they asked for something else and for some data to be replotted, basically I have to redo a lot of the plots and rewrite text. I am unhappy in this job but I have to survive until I find another one. I don’t know if this makes a difference culturally but sometimes I wonder, I am a female ethnic minority in this team, the lab is in Europe. Thanks in advance.
I mean…have you told them the deadline is not realistic when it’s given to you instead of telling them you missed the deadline after the deadline passed? It’s much easier to reset a deadline in the beginning. If they really truly need those reports by X deadline, that means you need an assistant or someone else in that position to help the work load.
Can you position it as the Lab is currently giving the most optimistic possible, and sometimes timelines that are not techincally possible which can lead to overpromising and underdelivering whereas a system with a built in buffer time can lead to underpromising and overdelivering which is usually more favorably seen by partners.
How do your colleagues handle the situation? Yes, you can push back on unreasonable deadlines. You need to be crystal-clear about how long each step takes.
Sometimes deadlines really can’t be moved and you’re expected to just deal with the situation, crummy as it may be. And if that’s happening all the time, that can be a very frustrating way to work. (Ask me how I know.)
Is it time for me to move on?
My company hired me two years ago to do gov’t affairs work both generally and in response to a specific piece of major-for-the-industry pending legislation. This was a new position that they created in response to the pending legislation, and with the longer-range hopes that they could become a bigger player on the legislative front. The pending legislation was passed about a year ago, and since then I have been very slow. It’s clear that there just aren’t frequent enough legislative developments to merit, well, me.
My colleagues are wonderful, the pay is fantastic, my hours are flexible-ish. But I’m not contributing to the team and I’m not adding value and I felt super squicky about that. I still do gov’t affairs work when it comes up (maybe once a quarter or so), but most of my time is spent attending industry meetings (a couple times a month) and producing legislative and regulatory newsletters (a couple times a week). I dread the writing because it’s definitely my weaker professional skill and it shows and I’m afraid it’s damaging my brand.
I haven’t heard even the slightest whispers about downsizing my position (and in the grand scheme of things for them, keeping me around just in case is cheaper than outsourcing and easier than on-ramping someone new when another major development bubbles up), but I’m still keenly aware that I’m not adding much here.
I don’t love the idea of leaving because I feel like I don’t have a great reason. There’s nothing really wrong and there’s lots right (people, hours, pay). It feels kind of like a preemptive break-up with someone because you think they’re going to break up with you. “Hey, I’m not a great writer and I hate doing it and that’s all you really have for me right now, so I’m going to move on just in case you think of downsizing me.” But sitting around occasionally doing work I don’t like and rarely doing actual work I do like doesn’t seem right, either. Thoughts?
Can you ask to have your role redefined such that you do the governmental affairs work and something else? This seems less like a “time to move on” and more like a “hey I’d like more and varied responsibilities, is there a way to redefine my role to include that?”. You would literally be giving them the opportunity to hoist another job (or half a job) on you without having to hire someone else so it’s a win win.
Can you prep for when the next regulatory changes may come? I’m in government but try to keep on changes in other jurisdictions (even internationally) so I have the up to date background when changes are being considered in my jurisdiction. When we are lobbied, sometimes industry comes with draft provisions they are seeking.
Agree that they may keep your position vs. trying to staff up quickly in response to regulatory changes.
I’m in a similar position and I just look at it as an opportunity to be picky about the next job. Since you are employed and you aren’t in a scenario where you have to get out now, why not just start casually looking to see if anything amazing comes up? Then you can judge it against your current situation.
Someone in my NextDoor group asked for help with gardening. She went on to say that she had a few beds that needed tending and was willing to pay someone to do it for her.
Made me laugh!
I laughed out loud in Home Depot at the Gardening Tools sign.
Lol. I startle and laugh at certain commercials now, too. It’s a fun little inside joke to have.
My employer sends out a monthly wellness newsletter and the one at the beginning of April had a huge headline that said “It’s National Gardening Month! Check out [Employer’s] best gardening tips”! I almost choked.
I’m relatively new here, but have definitely picked up the true meaning of “gardening”. How did the joke start?
I’m not sure who started it, but someone referred to s3x as a “lady garden party.” People used to abbreviate it LGP. At some point it got shortened to gardening and then people started making all kinds of extensions of the euphemism – gardening videos, gardening tools, the gardening hose, etc.
Corporate gardening tips: wear a c*llared shirt.
My husband and I are trying our hands at growing some tomatoes this year. We had friends over for dinner last Saturday and he told them we’d been doing some gardening that afternoon. I nearly spewed wine through my nose laughing!
Anyone want to shop for me? I’m looking for a pair of green suede pumps for work. Preferably in the 3″ heel range and under $200. Thanks!
I think Kat posted at least two pairs of suede pumps in the past couple of weeks. I’d start there, plus check all my normal haunts: Nord, Rack, Blommies, Cole Haan, DSW, Zappos, AT, Nine West, BR, Niemans, and Last Call.
Thanks, those picks weren’t available in green, unfortunately. I checked out Nordie’s but I wasn’t happy with their selection (only 2, I have one pair in another color and wasn’t that pleased with the quality, and the other option had mixed reviews).
Ted Baker Kawaa is 3.75″ and just under $200, but is a pretty kelly green suede. Banana Republic also has the Madison 12-hour pump in kelly green for around $100 (depending on size, etc) and Ann Taylor Eryn is $128.
These are more blue than green, but they are gorgeous and have good reviews: https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/marc-fisher-ltd-carter-pump-women/4973050?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FShoes%2FHeels&fashioncolor=Green&color=mint%20suede
Neon green: https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/james-chan-fabian-pump-women/5113543?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FShoes%2FHeels&fashioncolor=Green&color=neon%20green%20suede
Another pair: https://www.zappos.com/p/massimo-matteo-raven-pump-mate/product/9175520/color/815058
These are more than $200 and 2″, but they are gorgeous: https://www.zappos.com/p/l-k-bennett-audrey-mint-leaf-suede/product/8928358/color/395282
Thanks, NOLA and Leatty, these are lovely options!
Ladies, I need help using my words.
I organize my church’s biannual grounds clean-up day, and have for a couple years now. (The grounds torch was willingly passed to me by a group of well-intentioned by feeble-bodied seniors who knew they couldn’t keep up with the physical demands anymore.)
I’m also on the church board, and the minister asked me to send an email to the board outlining the plans for this year’s clean-up. It being 1) an email 2) to a whole group 3) of well-meaning, loving, but largely ineffective people, it turned into this whole Thing of good idea fairy what abouts, what ifs, why nots, etc, etc. I’m feeling frustrated (sure, Suzie, we can have X if you want to pay for it, otherwise, beggars can’t be choosers) and micromanaged by people who don’t know a rose from a rake (they’ll admit that themselves).
Part of the problem is that the minister, who is my age and with whom I’m friendly and with whom I would love to be good friends, exacerbated the Thing by opening up a can of worms on the email thread that absolutely did not need to be opened. It’s been a week and I haven’t responded to the last email in the chain because I just don’t know what to say. Do I call my minister friend and say, hey, sorry for vanishing on the thread, I’m frustrated? Do I email the whole group and say, “Thanks, all! For expediency, I’m going to do X this time since the clean-up is next weekend. We can consider ABC for next time”…and I conveniently am not in charge of next time?
In some ways, this whole thing is so frustrating that I want to throw my hands up and walk away from the clean-up AND the board. I don’t want to spend the emotional energy to handle the input of a whole passel of well-meaning, loving, but largely ineffective people. But I’m a community person – I can’t not be involved in something – and I know that this stuff is just the price of admission. My husband and I have been traveling lots on the weekends, so we’ve only been in church a handful of Sundays all year, so maybe we just take this opportunity to step way back in the life of the church anyways? I don’t know. But I know lots of r e t t e s are involved in community boards, so I’m hoping you have some insight when you hit this patch with a group. Thanks!
Yes, do the “Thanks, all! For expediency, I’m going to do X this time since the clean-up is next weekend. We can consider ABC for next time” option, be assertive about it, and try to remember that they’ll all move on to the next Big Thing soon enough. That response is not rude or unprofessional; you don’t have to worry about it. Sorry, this sounds stressful.
I’d go to the minister and ask how to move forward. Say, “If I were in my business setting, I’d do X. Would that work here, or is there another way I should do this?” But you do have to act quickly, if the workday is next weekend.
Don’t step away from the life of the church over this. Use this as an opportunity to develop relationships, love people well, learn some wisdom and savvy, get to practice some humility and flexibility, and step up in leadership—all at the same time.(Fun, huh? But it’s worth it.)
Church staff member
Fresh email. “Thanks all for your contributions and thoughts re clean up procedures/methods – whatever they were fighting about. This year’s clean up will proceed as follows – factual info. bulleted list of facts. Thanks for your help and let’s look at some of the suggestions raised in the email exchange for next year.
I think you have your script for this time. All of the emotional work of corralling well meaning but scattered individuals is the exact reason I struggle with being involved on community boards, so I’m no help :/. (Also, I can’t tell from your post, but if you sent the email with a bunch of ccs… don’t do that next time! Bcc everyone and then field the responses individually.)
yep, +1 here…you have your script…take the lead and for expediency sake, communicate the direction you are taking. If there is blowback from minister, then tell him you are going to step down. I was in this position once….I just don’t have the energy or tolerance to negotiate all the interests of the well meaning people – after I stepped away, the group dissolved btw. A leader is necessary and you need to be empowered.
Key part of Anon’s advice bears repeating: BCC everyone. This is the only way to tame a group email. You’d be amazed how many people stop responding once it’s no longer a group discussion. I think it’s because there’s less incentive for performative behaviour.
S in Chicago
I wouldn’t let this get in the way of being involved in church life. Two different issues entirely.
Personally, I’d reach out to the minister and explain you’re going to do X. Then I’d respond to the group that given timing and budget and weighing “nice to haves” vs. “need to haves,” we’ll be doing X this year. If someone wants to join for clean up day show up at XXXX. That way they don’t hear “no” outright on their ideas and it gets the conversation focused on next steps. I wouldn’t discuss anything about how to handle it next year unless you have to–someone else’s circus and monkeys then.
Ponte Fit and Flare Dresses
What are your favorite ponte fit and flare dresses that are still available for purchase?
Lands End has them year-round.
Ok, not ponte, more like a good t-shirt, but I like this dress so much I have it in 5 colors. Dresses up great for work. Washes and dries easy peasy. If you search around, you can also find it in 3/4 and long sleeves. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0739RGV2K/ref=oh_aui_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
And this dress isn’t fit and flare, but it is summer-weight ponte. I’m a pear and sized up one from my normal size. Loving it. Got plenty of compliments today, my first time wearing it (so I can’t comment on how it washes yet). https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07GF1J772/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1&psc=1
I really like Amazon brand Lark & Ro’s.
I really hate living in the time of the emoji. I am a young intern, surrounded by other young interns, managed by someone who used to be an intern last year. Most of my communication with my boss is via direct texts and an intern group chat. He uses emojis on everything (averaging one per text). My coworkers use emojis in response. And I just look like a stuffy old woman because I had never considered, nor researched, “work appropriate emoji use.” What is this?? When did this become a thing? My boss sends me a “good work” text, with a strong arm on it, and I just sound grouchy in response because I don’t know what emoji corresponds with “Thanks!” This is an unnecessary mental burden and I can not wait to work somewhere where emoji filled texts would be an unthinkable sin.
I am a BigLaw partner and I LOVE emojis for communicating. I’ve trained all my associates to take ownership by sending me plans for what they’ll do next, and if I’m on my phone, I often respond with a thumbs up. If I have an issue, I will obviously write about it. But a lot of the time, people just need me to greenlight their ideas.
OMG this is not something you need to worry about. Just do you.
I’ve totally felt like an emoji dork before – I think it’s something. The worst is when you’re online dating and trying to feel out new people over text. I generally try to conform my emoji patterns to others’ when I’m in unfamiliar territory.
OP, the thumbs up is my “acknowledged” default emoji. To say thank you for a compliment, I think just a smiley face – no words – would be good. If you’re feeling “darn skippy, I did a good job!”, throw out the smiley with the sunglasses. I think those three are all good, safe work emojis.
Good luck, OP. My husband was just teasing me about not being a cool kid (I had never heard some song from the 90s when we were teens) – whatevs ;) Lean into the dorkiness, it gets easier to embrace as you get older, promise :)
Yeah at work the emojis you listed are just some ways to avoid repeatedly saying “Okay” “Got it” “Will do” over IM.
I’m an old, but my view is that if you’re casual enough to be texting, you’re casual enough to be using emojis. I hate emojis in email though.