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![Corporette's Suit of the Week: Escada](https://corporette.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Escada-Checkerboard-Jacquard-Suit.jpg)
![Escada suit of the week](https://corporette.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Escada-suit-of-the-week.png)
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
tesyaa
Yes yes yes
hoola hoopa
+1
Baconpancakes
Lurrrrve.
Erisa
You have to view the back of the skirt–it’s amazing!! This reaffirms my resolve to learn how to sew my own clothing.
Mpls
The back piece is cut on the bias – I was wonder what was up with the side bits you can see from the front. Pretty cool.
anon
mermaid chic. I’m super into it.
Lady Tetra
For a “business attire” charity gala on a weeknight: suit dress, jacket and blingy necklace?
Ginjury
Sounds perfect!
Lady Tetra
Thanks!
Couples Therapy
How can I convince my SO to attend couples therapy with me? We generally get along well, but, every few weeks or so, we have a fight over seemingly nothing, but our communication during these arguments is so lacking that it becomes a much bigger deal. He shuts down and I walk away questioning our relationship. I’ve been to therapy and had a good experience, but I started to realize that a lot of the problems I need to address need to be done with SO. He has gone to therapy a couple times and just didn’t like it so he thinks it would be an absolute waste of time to go talk to someone else about our problems. We both know that our relationship needs work, but I feel like he doesn’t want to do anything to fix it. Thoughts?
BankrAtty
Maybe try reading something by John Gottman? /Why Marriages Succeed or Fail/ devotes a lot of time to how to argue and how to recover from an argument. My spouse and I each learned a lot from reading the book separately, and then discussing it together.
Calico
Thanks for this recommendation! I’m ordering it now.
Senior Attorney
I think you will find Gottman eye-opening. If you can’t communicate when there is a conflict, and he shuts down (“stonewalling,” in Gottman-speak), and he’s not willing to address that behavior, then in my view you are wise to question the relationship.
Danielle
Honestly, if your SO doesn’t want to go, you can’t make him. If he doesn’t want to participate in sessions, talk to your therapist and come up with strategies for situations that arise and try different ways of communicating with him at home. Perhaps if he sees things getting better through your words and actions he might change his mind about therapy or at least try to work with you on his terms.
Lizbet
Tell the SO that you would appreciate his going with you to a few sessions to help you work through YOUR issues, because your counselor said you would benefit from hearing his perspective on things in a “safe” setting. Frame it up as him doing you a favor as you sort your own self out. That’s flattering and a way to get him to drop his defenses a little. Of course, this only works if your counselor will agree to it. Good counselors will do their best to make your SO feel comfortable so that he can be gently worked on in the sessions. If it goes well, you might want to move together to a different counselor for more extended couples therapy, so you don’t lose “your” counselor.
Anon29
Are you ladies like me and think “Of course, it looks good…its on the model. It would look different on me.”? I think that all the time. It sucks that a lot of women think this way. There was a post the other day about a 46-48 year old women, around 5’3″, size 16 who wanted help or suggestions on what to wear. I don’t think seeing these thin, young women help but they can still serve as style inspirations. :) Also thank you Kat for offering the alternative options. I like that.
tesyaa
In terms of age, I think this suit would work for almost any age.
Anon
You know, perhaps I have illusions of grandeur, but I am 5’2″, a size 8-10, and an hourglass figure, and I frequently think that things would look BETTER on me than on the model–because some things are cut to suit curves that not all (read: most) models don’t have. Would I like to be a size zero and 5’10” like the model? Yes. Would I trade my curves for that? Nope. All a matter of perspective.
Hell to the yes!
I agree Anon! I have no misconceptions about my flaws and the fact that I am not model material, but I love being curvy and regularly look at models wearing certain dresses and think “She is just not filling that out right!” LOL! Good for us, right! :)
Anon
Yes, love it!!
Anon2
I am so jealous of your attitude. I wish I was like you :-)
Anonymous
I’m the opposite. I am so often drawn to so many things only to get them and realize that they don’t look good on me.
I am a 5’2″ thin busty hourglass and lots of clothing does look good on me, but things cut without a waist or things that shorten my legs do not look good on me. I wish I could be more drawn to items that are flattering *on me* rather than flattering on the model.
Anonymous
I’m 5 5, size 14, and I would look hot in this suit. Srsly smoking hot. There are lots of things I see that don’t look good on me- I just think those are the ugly clothes :)
Parfait
A tall size 14 here and I would look fab in this suit too. FAB. If only I had a life that required a green mermaidy suit.
Anon
I don’t look at it and compare my body to the model’s, I look at it and think “Damn, that is some fine tailoring and I would look fine in it.” Those wide shoulders, that tiny waist. Why aren’t more jackets cut like this? Give it to me.
anonsg
Which is why I rarely buy clothes online unless there’s free return shipping…gotta try it on first!
Travel Question?
My mom and I are planning to do a short vacation together sometime this December. It’ll probably be an extended weekend trip (so 4-5 days max) so we want to avoid anything cross country. Anyone have any ideas for things that would work/any mother-daughter trips? Anything you’ve particularly enjoyed? I’m in my mid twenties, and my mom is in her late fifties if that helps. I’m in NYC and she’s in DC.
Nonny
My mom and I have always had awesome mother-daughter trips to Disneyland. Seriously. Of course in your part of the world Disney World would be a better bet, but would have the same benefits (zero stress, premade fun, perhaps a shopping day, and a good swimming pool to sit around if that is your thing).
LH
What do you want to do? If you want beachy or tropical, Puerto Rico is really accessible from the East Coast. If you want to stay in the US, I’d still head south because December isn’t the best time to visit the Northeast. If you like food, Charleston, SC is a wonderful long weekend destination. I’ve heard great things about Nashville and Savannah too. I like Miami too, but I don’t think of that as much as a mother-daughter place. It depends on your mom’s personality though, I guess.
AIMS
I’d throw in Montreal if you want something wintry.
Anonymous
Or Ottowa. They have the skating on the frozen canals.
Edit — this may only be during their winter festival, which is later in the year (Jan / Feb as opposed to Dec)
Anonymous Ottawan
The Rideau Canal has not been open for skating much in December in recent years, too warm. You can pretty much count on it being skate-able early Feb but December is hit and (lately, mostly) miss.
I’d second Montreal (or Quebec City) in the winter. Pretty.
anonymous
+1 for Quebec City. I finally went there this past winter and it was gorgeous.
mascot
Are Christmas decorations and historical homes something you enjoy? The Biltmore in Asheville is gorgeous, especially for the candlelight tour. Also, the Grove Park Inn has a gingerbread house contest and a fantastic spa. Asheville has enough cute shops and restaurants to fill the gaps in between.
The Opryland Gaylord resort in Nashville also does a huge holiday celebration and the spa there is good too. For points further south, Savannah or Charleston won’t be too cold and are good visits.
Terry
Louisville KY. I’ve visited several times and always had a good experience. If you and your mother drink there are a lot of distillery tours and a bourbon tasting can be a ton of fun. There are a lot of odd-ball attractions – Colonel Sanders is buried in a beautiful old cemetery (leave a bucket of wings for his ghost) and the Louisville Slugger factory was fantastic (even for a non-baseball fan). While I love Montreal I’d rather go there in the summer…
AttiredAttorney
Charleston.
Anonymous
NASHVILLE
Zaldi
New Orleans! I visited NOLA last year in December and it was fantastic. Prices on hotels and flights are even better. Be sure to enjoy a reveillon dinner, caroling with practically the whole French Quarter in Jackson Square, and the holiday historic home tour. If you time your stay for Christmas Eve, you can see the city light up the river for Papa Noel. The CVB has a great guide on everything happening in December, too. If you celebrate Christmas, it’s beautiful.
Calico
I vote for Ashville NC. The Biltmore Estate is always beautiful.
roses
I adore Asheville, but it’s not particularly easy to get to – it’s super expensive to fly there and it’s a 7 hour drive from DC, which would eat up much of their vacation time.
Hazel
I’ve always had a strong aversion to being in debt, and for the past four years my law school loans have been a heavy weight on my shoulders. I’ve paid off about $20k over four years (despite graduating in the trough of the hiring slump!), and I’m on track to pay off the remaining $12k in the next 12 months.
The problem is that I’ve been flinging all my spare money at loans, without building up much of a savings reserve (I have about $10k in a “rainy day fund,” but I’ve got no investments or retirement fund at all). I know I should probably ease off and build up my savings–like starting an IRA, since my company doesn’t offer 401k options–but I keep fantasizing about paying off the rest of my debt in one lump sum. Which would wipe out my rainy day fund, so I know it’s a bad idea, but… Advice, anyone?
(Btw, I’m 29 and single, so my debt/savings decisions affect no one but myself.)
Ginjury
Set up a retirement account and fund it as much as you can NOW. Unless the interest rate on your debt is absurdly high, you’re doing yourself a disservice by not funding your retirement. When it comes to retirement funds, time really is money; the longer you let the money sit, the more it’ll grow.
Hazel
Thanks for the sanity check. ;) My interest rate isn’t obscenely high (they’re all federal loans, not private), it’s just higher than I think I could get with an IRA… But you’ve got a good point about letting the money sit and grow in my favor. Thanks!
A Clark
1. $32k total in loans? That’s amazing. great job.
2. What is your interest rate? If it’s less than 5% you might want to remind yourself that it could be making more in pre-tax investments.
3. But, if the weight of loans > possibility of investing pre-tax $ for better return, then by all means pay it off. But if your rainy day fund is your emergency fund, and you have no family to fall back on while your savings rebuilds, then I would hold off.
Hazel
My interest rate is 6.8%, which is why I’ve been telling myself it makes more sense to pay off my loans than to invest. BankrAtty below has a good point, though; the interest hit I’m taking on my loans now isn’t as significant as it was even last year, and even if I can’t get a fantastic rate on an IRA now, it’ll work for me in the future…
Anon
Have you checked out SoFi or any of the other crowd-sourced consolidation organizations? They will drop that rate down to less than 5%, if you qualify.
Anon
Bravo for paying off so much already! That is great. I would not, however, recommend you deplete your rainy day fund in order to pay off the remaining balance.
I also dislike debt, but I have it (from law school). I currently pay 2K a month to my loans, and I also max out my 401K and IRA (so about 2K a month as well), and I put money in savings/investment. I’ll never get back these years of growth.
I encourage you to open an IRA, slightly scale back your debt repayment, and start putting money away for retirement while you continue to pay down your loans.
BankrAtty
Patience, my friend! You and I are in similar boats: my rainy day fund is adequate to pay off the balance of my loans. But when you’re this close, the interest rate–I’m going to assume your loans, like mine, are at 6.25%–hurts a lot less than it did when your balance was higher. Much more of your monthly payment is going to principal now. So while I appreciate the appeal of just being done (trust me, I do!!!) take a deep breath and don’t compromise your financial security by wiping out your bank account.
Gail the Goldfish
You can pay it off in 12 months without wiping out your emergency fund, or with? Depending on your interest rate on your loans, if you can pay it off in a year without touching the emergency fund, I might just do that for mental security. But the interest rate on my student loans are over 6% and the return on my retirement account is not. On the other hand, if it would take you much longer than a year to pay back without wiping out the emergency fund, start putting some into retirement, because as ginjury said, time really is money with that.
Hazel
I can pay it off in 12 months without touching the emergency fund. You’ve got a good point: if I dipped into the emergency fund to pay off the loans, I’d just find myself fretting afterwards about not having a cushion to fall back on if things got tough!
VoiceofExperience
I used my rainy day fund to pay off my student loans only to have a major car repair come up the next month…
Anonymous
Not firsthand, but a close friend also used all of hers to make one big final loan payment, and then had a major family medical issue come up the next week. It’s almost like tempting fate :(
Anonymous
You have next to no law school debt. Whatever you’re reading that has told you to prioritize this over savings- stop!!!
AnonLawMom
Seriously! $12K is nothing in the grand scheme of law school debt. I totally understand the urge to just get rid of it though. I like to make really arbitrary rules when it comes to stuff like this. If I know I should be saving $ but I really want to pay down debt (i.e., debt reduction is more motivating to budget than simple saving) then I would maybe say that starting now, for every $200 I have to save/pay off loans, I split it. So, by the time you pay off the debt, you should have around $12K more in savings. Depending on interest rates, etc. this may not be the *best* financial plan but sometimes you have to find ways to trick your brain into thinking things are more fun or rewarding than they are.
Hazel
That’s a really good tip. Thank you!
Former Partner, Now In-House
Dear 2014 Hazel,
Please open a retirement account (Roth IRA, if you qualify traditional IRA if you don’t), contribute the maximum, and invest it in either a market index mutual fund or a target date mutual fund.
Also, please start reading the personal finance magazine of your choice (ideas: Kiplinger’s, Smart Money, Money).
Love,
2054 Hazel
Former Partner, Now In-House
Dear 2014 Hazel,
Please open a retirement account (Roth IRA, if you qualify traditional IRA if you don’t), contribute the maximum, and invest it in either a market index mutual fund or a target date mutual fund.
Also, please start reading the personal finance magazine of your choice (ideas: Kiplinger’s, Smart Money, Money).
Love,
2054 Hazel
Hazel 2054
Dear 2014 Hazel,
Please open a retirement account (Roth IRA, if you qualify traditional IRA if you don’t), contribute the maximum, and invest it in either a market index mutual fund or a target date mutual fund.
Also, please start reading the personal finance magazine of your choice (ideas: Kiplinger’s, Smart Money, Money).
Love,
2054 Hazel
Hazel
Haha, thank you! You ladies are the sanity check I needed.
Wildkitten
I want to start reading a money magazine but I got Money at the airport and like nothing was relevant to my life. Are the other two any good? Maybe I should give another issue a try?
Hazel 2054
Pick whichever one you like and read it each month for one year. If the September issue (back to school and tuition) isn’t relevant to you, maybe the December issue (moves to make before the end of the tax year) or the June issue (financial issues relevant to marriage) will be.
My two cents.
Wildkitten
Exactly. Best places to be rich and single isn’t really my jam. I will subscribe. Thank you!
Ellen
Yay! Escada is nice (but to expensive) so I like the Tahari! It is so nice for you to provide more fruegel alternative’s for us like this $280 alternative, even if it is NOT fruegel Friday! I will show the manageing partner and see if he will let me get the Tahari! I could then donate some of my suit’s to NY Care’s that are now to big on me beleive it or not! Who knew that my tuchus could shrink so much in 1 season! Last year I was busteing out of my suit’s b/c of my tuchus, but now that my tuchus is almost flat, I have no real “shelf” left to make them tight. Part of me say’s to have them tailored, but with a 50% clotheing allowance, and a deduceation from the IRS, I can afford to be generous with the large tuchus suit’s I have and get all new one’s for the winter! YAY!!!!!
Mason brought the point home to me yesterday that I won’t alway’s be so svelte and desireable, so I need to capitalise on my assets (including my tuchus) while the iron is still hot. That mean’s dressing as fashieonable as possible in order to lure a rich guy to marry me — but for my brain’s NOT my tuchus. Dad think’s that my body is more important to a man then my brain, but I say both are important. Yes, men are attracted initially by my look’s and body (like the judge with his silly body line, and makeing me face sideway’s when I talk to him), but more importatntley, it is my brain’s that got me the job and wins my case’s, at least in Manhattan. I still do OK elsewhere, but I do NOT do well at all when the judge is a woman, which happens in Queens alot. So I need to remember to tone down my look’s when I face dumpy female judges, and tone up alot when I face male judge’s that like me, b/c once I am over 40, and have kid’s, I will probably start to look more like mom, who has a much wider tuchus then Rosa or I do. The manageing partner say’s that is something to look forward to but I disagree. FOOEY!
Debbie
I think Mason is right. Like all of us gals, looks don’t last forever, so exploit them as best you can for as long as you can. If you don’t then you’ll only have yourself to blame once you lose the edge you get now for being both hot and smart. You won’t lose your intelligence, but like all of us, we are at our best between 20 and 40 and unless you have found the fountain of youth, your brea$ts will sag, and your a$$ will flatten out like a pancake, making you desirable only to men who are twice your age. So do what you can now to find that rich prince, marry him and make sure he can support you in the lifestyle to which you’ve become accustomed because dad won’t be there forever, for you or any one of the rest of us ‘Rettes! Good luck on your venture!
Dress for success?
Has anyone read Molloy’s The New Womens Dress for Success, and used suggestions from it? It’s 1996 but supposedly has some good basic ideas for womens business casual. As a middle aged woman in a male dominated company I want some solid advice for projecting authority. So far I’ve gotten where I am based on technical and basic interpersonal skills, but I don’t want to stall out here! Suits, high heels, skirts not an option as it involves some lab work in strict bus-casual (dockers/ pressed shirts/ loafers) environment. Advice on other info sources is welcome!
ITDS
Blazers? Eddie Bauer often has “casual” blazers, and Talbots has casual ones as well. I used to work in a very sloppy business casual environment, and found that adding a “casual” blazer to my khakis made me look professional and put together, but not overly dressed up.
Dress for success?
Thanks! I have a hard time getting the casual blazer right, somehow. The sweater jacket seems to be making a return this fall, maybe that will be an easier third piece? I’ll check out Eddie Bauer though- thanks!
Anonymous
So, if you’re trying to project more authority I’m not sure is start with Eddie Bauer, although they do have good pieces from time to time.
First step- never wear khaki colored chinos again. Ever. Burn them. What about a slim fit slate gray pair with a white button down under a coral sweater? Or a pair of navy blue cotton doubleweave pants from Ann Taylor/Banana with a green print blouse? Or a pair of black knit pants with a purple sweater jacket over a silky grey t-shirt?
I’d look at JCrew for inspiration, Boden, and would also check out AmidPrivilege- search for “use case.” Likely too high end and fancy for you but the way of constructing a wardrobe might appeal.
Dress for success?
Thank you. I love the Amid Privilege ideas, particularly the use case concept appeals to the scientist in me!
Exactly what I was looking for !
Anon
I skimmed the preview on Amazon and he doesn’t recommend wearing a jacket with pants and a blouse because it’s too risque… he also waxes poetic about how suits were starting to go away in the office, but Hillary Clinton has brought them back and they’re here to stay. It seems rather outdated.
Anonymous
I liked this book:
http://www.overstock.com/Books-Movies-Music-Games/Health-Beauty/6875/subcat.html?gclid=Cj0KEQjwzK6hBRCbzLz_r_f-3tkBEiQA-zyWsMGAAy2ux6a7MaH4PuRoweSNZukufIt0vvoCWSyWkLgaAoq28P8HAQ&featuredproduct=1997532&featuredoption=2361577&cid=202290&kid=9553000357392&track=pspla&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=10304108-000-000&ef_id=VCyE9wAAAHAytJh0:20141001224927:s
Dress for success?
Thanks- this looks helpful!
Green with envy
I’ve been looking to incorporate more green into my wardrobe (and can’t afford this gorgeous suit) and am considering a green leather jacket (or just a green jacket – although green, double-breasted, boiled-wool coats look very grade school to me for some reason) or another kind of green accessory (green scarf?) to accent my attire. I’m thinking more of an emerald or very color-rich green that looks modern. Does anyone have a jacket or other green item that really opens up your wardrobe? Any recommendations are appreciated! Thanks!
Flower
Last year I developed an obsession with forest green. I don’t know why, but I wanted everything in forest green. I think it stems from seeing a woman in awesome forest green skinny jeans. I never got around to the skinny jeans (I have yet to hop on the colored pant bandwagon really) but I got a green tank top that is one of my favorite items. It felt great for fall, and it was easy to wear with sweaters/cardigans or blazers.
I also got a giant green bauble-type necklace around the same time that I wore just as much (I have lots of burgundy / raspberry shirts and it looked good with that).
Anonymous
I have forest green skinny jeans and I never wear them. What would you wear on top with these? Other than a cream or black sweater?
AMB
Grey, navy, maybe even something in a yellow?
Casper
Navy and white striped shirt, denim/chambray button down. Gray
kellyandthen
A cream silk blouse, gold belt, leopard pumps. Hawt.
Anonymous
Oooh. Love this! Have all the components, except the gold belt, but I have lots of gold jewelry, so I could improvise.
Anonymama
I wear with cream and chocolate brown, chambray shirt, or navy blue, or even very light mint green. Or light pink/peach. Or gold.
Jennifer
I bought a green schoolboy blazer from j crew factory a few weeks back, and love it. I will eventually change out the gold buttons for something more me (horn/tortoise, probably). It is a little prep-schooly, but i’ve found many ways to wear it.
tesyaa
I like green a lot – I’ve had a few emerald green sweaters that I loved wearing in winter (both worn out now). And years ago I had a green wool coat, somewhere between dark forest and emerald, that was just right – colorful but not flashy. It also had a plaid wool lining and came with a matching plaid wool scarf…I have such fond memories… this was 1987 or so.
Bonnie
I have green suede heels that are in heavy rotation. They’re great with black, navy, charcoal and camel.
Anonymous
I’m constantly mistaken for being much younger than I am, and I’m concerned that this will harm my progress at work. Any tips on looking less young/ projecting a more mature/authoritative vibe?
A Nonny Moose
Have you read NGDGTCO yet? It’s a pretty quick read and helped me a lot when I was younger (mid 20s) to act like a mature adult in the workplace.
Wildkitten
Have you read Nice Girls Dont Get The Corner Office? If not – start there.
Samantha
I’m pretty sure Kat has addressed this in a post – search Corporette archives.
Anonymous
Do any of you ever feel competitive with your SO over career success? If so, how do you deal with it?
Anon
No, but we are in completely different industries so it’d be apples to oranges. I have the career that earns more money, and he has the career that gets the “Wow, awesome, tell me more about that!” reaction at parties. Ultimately, all of our successes are shared successes, anyway.
Anon2
No. But I feel guilty if he is working during nights and weekends that I am not working enough :-(
A Clark
No guilt. He has a horrible situation. I also see my SO slack off a lot and use “work” as an excuse not to socialize with my friends or practice in self-care so, no guilt.
Wildkitten
I try to make at least as much money as him. It’s a good kick-in-the-rear to negotiate my salary every time he is handed a raise.
Anon
Yep. We are the same level at competing firms, though in totally different silos (he managed operations for His company, which serves market A and B; I am over product and marketing at a much larger firm that has a product that competes, but also products that serve markets C, D & E. There is another “me” at my firm that manages the line that competes with DH). I make more, have speaking engagements at industry events we both attend (or our companies are at in force). Ie been in this field for 8 years and he’s only been here for 2. It’s weird, especially because my job is way easier (or I’m better at it, not sure which). I work less.
CDA
I’m late to the game (dratted time differences), but absolutely. My husband and I have identical educational backgrounds and now work in the same industry. There are times it is very difficult to not – implicitly or explicitly – compare salaries, opportunities, how we allocate our time, what we each would have done in a situation, what our reviews say, etc. One thing that has really helped us is to remember we are on the same team. This is huge. When one of us does well, we both do well. Once we remind ourselves of that, it takes a way any sting from the comparisons, and we can view it as another opportunity to let iron sharpening iron.
Curious
Has anybody’s DH tried Threadlab, Bombfell, or any other of the clothing by mail systems? Mine is thinking about trying it and Trunk Club doesn’t serve our area. Any thoughts on the style of clothes or the responsibility of the price?
A Clark
On that line, has anybody tried GwinnieBee? My friend talked me into tryint it free, but so far, most of the items on their site, I would never wear, and what HAS been shipped to me, has been HORRIBLE.
Em
I’ve been doing the month long free trial. I’ve disliked most of what they’ve sent but found two dresses I liked enough to buy (and which I got TONS of compliments on, so I don’t think it’s me being delusional), so I think they have some good stuff in there. That said, the price point is too high for me to pay for it given the selection and shipping times; if it was $20/month, I’d probably keep it, but I’m going to cancel after my trial.
SA
I tried it too when it was free and everything was huge. What did work was much more expensive than if I’d bought at Macy’s or somewhere similar.
RR
Don’t know if you are still reading. I’ve done Gwynnie Bee. I’m getting ready to cancel. Basically, I found some shells that I really liked and that introduced me to new brands, but it was FAR more misses than hits. I like the concept, but I’m not totally happy with their brands. And it’s too dress-heavy for me (I don’t really ever wear dresses).
AnonLawMom
I was told yesterday by a financial advisor that my goal should be to save, between cash, retirement and other investments, a total of 25% of my take home pay. Is this normal? What % do you save?
Sundae Funday
All in all I save 35% of take home. Would love to save more.
Ginjury
Including my 401k contribution, I’m at 34%, but I’m also in a double income, no kids household. If I were in different circumstances, with greater responsibilities, it would probably be less. My understanding is that you should be saving at least 20%.
Anon
I save 35% of my takehome pay (this includes both retirement and non-retirement savings). Once my SLs are paid off, I’ll up this.
Anon for this
Between our 401k and general cash savings, we save about 30% of our take home. But just in cash, about 11%. I’m not including the separate savings we have for specific line items (like taxes, because we owe money every year, or vacation money that would convert to general savings if there was an emergency). My husband and I found that the best way for us to stay on track budget-wise was to set aside cash for planned expenses (gym memberships, car rentals, etc.). If we don’t use it, more savings for us, but if we do we don’t go into debt.
Anonymous
We save probably about 50-60% of our total take home pay in a very high cost of living area. I’m in biglaw and my husband also works, but doesn’t make as much as I do. 25% seems very low to me unless you don’t make a lot of money. I would think the more you make the greater % you should save.
SC
Between cash, retirement, and payments to the principal on our mortgage, we save about 30% of our take-home. It may be a little bit less at certain times of the year (maybe save a little less cash the month we take a vacation or during Christmas). I think it’s about 12-13% retirement (max my 401K and our Roths), 10% cash, and 7-8% principal payment on mortgage. If you don’t count the mortgage, it’s obviously more like 22-23%.
Anon
I’m not trying to be snarky, but as a legitimate question from a life-long renter – is it common to include the principal of your mortgage in a % savings calculation?
SC
Probably not, which is why I separated it out. But the way I see it, the principal portion of the mortgage payment is going toward equity and is a type of investment. It’s also a rental property (we live in one of several units), so that probably influences the way I think about it as well.
Also, now that I think about my previous comment, we save those percentages of our total salaries, not take-home. I have no idea what % of our take-home we save.
k-padi
Some people do. Most financial professionals don’t. I take a hybrid approach as I explained in my comment.
I am of the philosophy that debt repayment (mortgage) and savings are two sides of the same coin and can’t be isolated from each other. Paying down a mortgage quickly can give you future flexibility to refi to a lower monthly payment or sell in a down market. So it is a kind of investment.
Let’s say I have credit card debt at 15% interest but, by not paying down that debt and only paying the minimum payment, I “achieve” a 60% savings rate. Compare that to someone who pays off her credit card every month but only has a 40% savings rate. I think we could agree that I, (with credit card debt) am not actually in a better financial position than the person with no credit card debt and a lower savings rate.
k-padi
I save 37.5% of my take home, no 401k at work.
To make myself feel better, I refi’ed to a 15 year mortgage years ago. If I count the difference between a 30 year mortgage payment and my current mortgage payment, I am at 50%. I use this figure more when budgeting because I could theoretically refi back to a 30 year tomorrow and save the difference. But I like having to pay less in interest every month and get a strange satisfaction in seeing my mortgage balance fall every month.
RDC
I think we’ll end up around 35% this year too (my husband is an independent consultant so his income is a bit hard to predict). That’s both retirement and non-retirement savings.
Stupid question though — does a mortgage count as savings? As retirement? It seems like it should factor in somehow since presumably by the time we retire we’ll either be able to live mortgage- and rent-free or have a significant amount of capital saved up to put towards a new house, if we decide to move. (And presumably our house will appreciate too, but i’m just thinking of our monthly payments.) It seems weird not to somehow include that in the equation.
Mpls
Mortgage is debt financing an asset, not savings or retirement. So, you don’t count the mortgage, but might count the equity you have in the house, at least towards you net worth. I probably wouldn’t count it as part of retirement, except as an expense (utilities) or lack thereof (once it’s paid, you have no rent!). If you count the value of the asset in your retirement number, you would have to sell it to realize that money.
Anon
I get paid twice a month. I always save the second salary. So 50% of my take home pay goes to savings directly. Apart from this, I contribute to ESPP, I get modest bonus, some stocks every year and funds directly retirement account every year which contributes to roughly another 15% of my overall take home pay. So roughly 65% is saved.
I live in a small town where cost of living is not too high (not too low either) and get paid roughly 100K. I used to save the same amount before getting married. After getting married, though the income increased, expenses also increased (bigger apartment, more going out, eating out, vacations etc). We don’t have children.
I don’t spend much on clothing (work in a very causal place), we don’t have any loans, I eat out once a week (DH eats out a lot…he likes to go out for lunch with his coworkers) or at most twice a week and generally a very simple lifestyle.
Topanga
A little over 60% for the year.
Single, no kids, late twenties, and I share (rent) a 3-bedroom apartment with two other women. I have no debt, I live close to work and drive a car I paid off several years ago, I don’t have high reoccurring monthly bills (fancy gym, etc), work pays for some of my meals during certain parts of the year, most of my favorite hobbies are free (running, hiking, the beach, reading (love my library!)) and my friends always seem to be savings for something, so are usually happy doing cheap activities (outdoor movies were a big hit this summer).
But, I also have an expensive shoe habit, a dog who ends up at the vet way too often, eat out way too much, and never turn down a second $15 martini if that’s what I really want. I think most of my savings has come from my income doubling since graduating college and most of my expenses going down in that time (my apartment has furniture, I paid off my car, I have plenty of clothes for an office job). I max out my 401(k), Roth IRA, and HSA and then throw any extra money into a Fidelity account into index funds.
Brant
This year we are on track to save 15% take home (excluding my bonus which is big when I get it, which is impossible to predict) to cash/savings (about 10% gross) and another 18% take home (12% gross) to retirement to savings. My bonus is 10% of our gross and will be straight to savings. So….33%. Used to be way higher, but then houses and babies happened.
We also have a baby that eats almost 12% of our take home in childcare costs (costs more than college tuition!!), and have $35k left on student loans that we are throwing a lot of our take-home at. If you want to count it, we spend about 6% take home on loans. 6% on car payments, 16% on mortgage/taxes etc (5% principal). We have about 50% of our annual take-home in our savings account which will be a down payment on a bigger house in the next few years. I guess we fritter away 18% on food, clothes, utilities and misc. If I’ve done the math right. That’s about our monthly credit card bill which we use to pay for everything then pay in full.
Interesting, I’d not done the math before.
Need To Cool Down
I am operations manager of a local office of a small, startupish company providing technical services to the chemical industry. My upper management is in another, remote, office and I am the most senior person in the office and basically in charge of it.
Today, one of my direct reports, sent me a document he has prepared on “opportunities to improve”. There are some valid points in the document, some of them we evaluated some time ago and may be time to evaluate them again. But some points are presumptuous and off-base. Such as “there is lack of project control”.
(I am adding this information because I think it matters: I am a woman, in my early 40s, my reports are all younger men, late 20s and early 30s.)
What I want to ask the hive is:
– how do you manage to distinguish between nonsense/valid criticism when your feelings/pride are involved?
– are there any resources/readings on “optimum level” of project control? some of the projects I manage are small, and all I need is some flat tables to control them (and I do control them), not a full-fledged ERM system. I must clarify I have never shared the project control system with him, as I never saw any need to.
This report of mine comes from a much bigger company, and I think this is part of the problem. I don’t want to prevent him from being propositive in the future, nor to come accross as being personally offended by his comments.
Any resources, readings, thoughts and scripts welcome!
Anonymous
So, your direct report, unsolicited, sent you a list of critiques and your concern is which items might or might not be valid? Because my concern is that everything about what he did is completely inappropriate and designed to undermine your authority. I think the message would be very simple “Sebastian, if you have suggestions on current projects please voice those as they arise in our status meetings. I run this office and your making a list if complaints is inappropriate.” And I would escalate and note this in his file.
Need To Cool Down
It’s not a list of complaints as such… but a list of ideas of things we could do differently. He, for instance, suggests some training courses. I think there are some courses he didn’t list that are better for our needs than the ones he suggests. And I plan to tell him that.
And the part on “project control” in his document is not aceptable at all.
But I don’t want to dismiss his document completely before seeing, unclouded by pride, what is valid and what is not. And I don’t want to prevent my reports to come up with ideas because I once crushed “Sebastian” when he did.
And I want input from the hive so I (not him) undermine my own authority if I deal with this while angry.
Mpls
Is he critizing you for not keeping projects on track, or asking for more control over the projects he is working on? The first, unsolicted, would be crappy. The second option – maybe he just worded it badly and wants to take on more responsibility?
Otherwise, given that this is unsolicted, respond to the ideas you like and could support (“those sound like good training options and here are some others”) and ignore the others.
Niktaw
Thank him and list the items that are valid. If there are areas that are currently being considered for improvement at a higher level, tell him that, for example: “Your suggestion on the company-wide presentation style guide is very timely. Upper management at the HQ has actually formed a team to create a set of templates for various departments, which then will be approved and circulated among all offices worldwide.”
At the end you could say: “I have reviewed all your suggestions but the ones I named are most relevant. I hope that as you spend more time at Teapots Ltd. and get a better idea of how and why we do things here, you will bring more excellent ideas that will address our pain points”.
DO NOT explain your project control methods and their appropriateness given the scope, environment etc. Explaining yourself makes you appear weak.
ss
To put it simply and brutally, I’d see this as a power play and would be positioning myself for the next move. Here’s how I’d go about it –
: Review any substantive criticism by privately re-checking hard targets for prior projects (were they all delivered on time, on budget, at acceptable quality, compliance etc standards, with your regular system?)
: Get private feedback on the ‘softer’ elements of project delivery from your customers, colleagues at other offices, staff (anyone unhappy with how things were done ?) and lay the ground for your partners and counterparties to step up later and say ‘yes, Cool Down consulted me and we agreed that things are mostly fine so we would continue X and address Y on a pre-emptive basis’.
: Invite your sub-ordinate to provide more examples of ‘presumptuous and off-base’ thinking – I would do this in a one-on-one discussion, where I appear to be interested to hear more about his ideas and encourage him to talk and talk without saying too much myself
: Since you reckon he has raised some old ideas which can be usefully re-evaluated, invite your sub-ordinate to take responsibility for the re-evaluation. Be careful to select an area that will require him to do real work (hunt around for data, identify industry standards, prepare a report) but without allowing him to seek extra resources (man-hours from your other staff, supervisory responsibility even on a temporary basis ‘for this paper I’m getting together for Cool Down’). If he discloses inappropriate confidential information from his previous company, let him but make a private note.
: Finally, assemble a private file-note with a critique of his points, with all the material you will have gathered from the above exercises. Perhaps you’ll never need it – your read that Sub-ordinate is trying to settle into a different style of company from his previous employer may be right. But it’ll be there if you ever need to respond to a next move in the game, even if it’s just to say ‘oh yes, Sub-ordinate does have a problem with counter-productive navel-gazing, there’s some paper he produced with half-baked criticism of stuff he only has a partial view of ..’ and then be able to rattle off his most foolish-seeming points.
Parfait
Cancer Cat update:
I decided to go ahead with the surgery and it was done on Monday. Kitty is doing pretty well in the aftermath. She’s eating a TON, and using the litter box and is feisty enough to struggle with me when it’s time for her pain meds. Spending a lot of time hiding under my bed, which is a reasonable reaction in my view. But we’ve also had some good cuddle time and I’ve coaxed some purrs out of her too.
The surgeon said she went wide and deep with the margins and feels pretty confident. She said her goal in life is to drive the radiation people out of business. We’ll have the full biopsy results by Friday.
It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make and I sure hope it was the right one. So far so good. Still, the size of the incision shocked me and the vast swath of shaved skin makes her look really pathetic. My poor little frankencat. I did that to her.
Wildkitten
It was/is the right decision for you – that’s why you made it. Enjoy the cuddles!
Parfait
I just hope hope hope the margins are clean. If they’re not, I put her through all this for nothing.
tazdevil
Hugs to you and your kitty!!
Gooddaysir
Wonderful news!
AIMS
I must have missed the original post but I am so happy to hear your cat seems to be doing better. If you haven’t tried them already, look into pill pockets — makes pill-taking so much easier! And don’t feel too badly about the shaved scar area, it probably looks worse than it is. I had my old kitty fixed later in life and she looked awful after the surgery! Cats just look extra terrible shaved or wet. But she recovered quickly and I had many, many happy years with her. I hope your kitty makes a speedy recovery, too! Hugs to you and the cat.
Bonnie
Fantastic!
nylon girl
Happy to hear the news about your sweet kitty. Wish you both the best!
Cat
I was wondering what you decided, and I’m glad the preliminary results are positive! Fingers crossed for you that the biopsy brings more good news.
RE: the shaved patch — it takes FOREVER to come back. I’m not sure how long (and I guess it depends on the type of cat; I had a shorthair), but definitely more than 6 months before it will stop looking like funny peach fuzz.
Erisa
Give her/him a lion cut! My cats actually love them. They may be weird cats.
Parfait
HA. Oh THAT would go over well with her.