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Suit of the Week: Halogen

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Yellow suits definitely seem to be a thing right now — I feel like we just featured our first one in the history of the blog not too long ago, and now here's another. The color and the tie at the waist make this suit definitely more on the creative/fun/casual side for work — but I like the clean lines of the blazer, and you could always just remove the fabric belt and use one of your own if you're not into having to tie it.

Personally I hate the top it's styled with — I'd probably go with a simple work-appropriate tee in gray, white, or navy, or perhaps one with blue accents.

The blazer and pants both come in plus sizes as well as regular and petite sizes; huzzah to Halogen for making all sizes of the pants $79, and all sizes of the blazer $119 (instead of making the plus size options cost more money). 

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

131 Comments

  1. I left some tips on yesterday afternoon’s thread to get rid of shaky voice when you start presentations! They helped me a lot!

  2. I’m gonna have to wait out this yellow trend. It’s the worst on me.

    I do love a paper bag waist though!

        1. +1. I love yellow for a blouse or blazer but could never do it head to toe.

    3. I like the color yellow, especially around this time of year, but I’ll admit it doesn’t look awesome on my pasty, pale, early spring skin. I’m hoping it’ll look a little better once I get a little color through natural, gradual sun exposure in the coming months!

    4. I used to have The Skirt (remember The Skirt) in every color, and the yellow one was my favorite.

      2. This seemed to be so much more of a thing what, about 2014? 2015? Colored pencil skirts and sweaters in the winter was SO much cheerier than the solid neutrals I’ve reverted to.

    5. I love the color of this suit and the look of the paper bag waist, but I could never wear either without feeling self conscious.

      I’ve been imagining that a lightweight mustard colored shrug/cardigan thing to throw on over sun dresses on summer evenings might be a good toe in the water with wearing yellow.

  3. Ladies 10+ years into your career in biglaw/finance – are you comfortable wearing suits like these or do they read too junior/informal to you? I would have worn a Halogen suit, or a TopShop blazer, etc, any day when I was earlier in my career but I worry now that they would project the wrong image at work. I like a lot of the cuts and details so I’m curious whether this is just in my head.

    1. I’m 18 years in in finance and if I ever need to wear a suit, it needs to be pretty formal. Business casual for the win.

    2. You’re not wrong, Suitably worried. I don’t want to wear a “LOOK AT ME” outfit.

    3. Women in colorful suits look like politicians, imho. I don’t think it makes you look too junior, more like you must be on the campaign trail hosting a fundraiser at my firm.

      In the past, I’ve worn a colorful blazer with an otherwise muted outfit. I haven’t rocked that look for a while though, circa the years I had The Skirt in every color of the rainbow. I think maybe bright colors in workwear have just been out of fashion for a few years. If the pictured suit is an indication that color is coming back into workwear then I welcome it! I’m tired of wearing muted tones!

      1. Ha, this is true. I am an aspiring politician (did get elected to city council this year) and I have a hot pink suit and a sky blue suit. I do get lots of compliments on them when I have an occasion to wear them.

    4. Later in my career and I wouldn’t wear a suit at all. I’d wear stylish separates – probably a sheath dress with a contrasting jacket – all in neutrals. In fact I wore that for a presentation to 700 people recently.

  4. I bought a pair of yellow pants on super sale in the fall. Have yet to wear them – I am drawing a blank on what top and what blazer to pair with them. Gray blazer and then what kind of top?

    1. I’d do white. Maybe kind of a relaxed, flowy type blouse. Maybe with a tie neck? And a light gray blazer if possible.

    3. Striped top. Black/White or navy/white (or muted stripes, if yours is a muted yellow).

  5. I was about to buy it for casual Friday, with a white T and white sneakers.
    Sadly the pants are all sold out in petite sizing

  6. Speaking of outfits, I am still thinking about the Fold London dress and belt from yesterday. Does the fact that I am still thinking about it more than 24 hours later justify the $425 dress and $95 or so belt?

    2. I have both and they are worth it. The lining on the dress is so soft, and that belt makes me feel a bit like a secret gladiator

      1. Houda if you see this – I was the one who asked for London clothing recs – Thank you! I looooved going to the Fold showroom in person!

      2. I might be posting too late for this to be seen, but I’m curious whether the Fold dresses are too hot. They look like thick fabric and are often long sleeves, so for that reason I’m uncertain. Even in the UK’s generally chill weather I dress in layers and prefer something that breathes under a blazer.

    3. Wait is the dress actually available? I looked at their site and couldn’t find it.

        1. Ohhhhh thank you I don’t know how I missed it. I kind of love the short sleeved version.

      2. It’s in store in blue at least (I was there yesterday). Didn’t notice if the purple was on the rack, but the purple Wool dress with the waist belt/peplum/drape was there.
        You could just send them an email?

    5. Definitely a sign.

      And you’re not alone in obsessing about the dress and belt.

      The rest of their stuff looks super nice. Does anybody else have feedback about their quality and fit?

      1. I was all over this threadjack yesterday too but I promise I’m not a bot! Suuuper nice quality – like my seamstress remarked on how well made it was when I had a dress hemmed. Fit is pretty TTS for British brands – ie, go up a size or two from your US designer size. I’m a 2/4 in Banana, and a 10 is a pretty safe bet in most of the Fold’s clothing. FWIW, my bust and true waist are almost a size smaller than my hips/legs, so I was a 10 in pants and most tops for work related modesty, but an 8 in the a-line dresses and shift dresses.

      2. I have recently tried on a few things from both the Fold and Winser London, I can leave a comment here later about fit and quality later on (it’s too late at night to be coherent in Europe).

  7. I feel like there was a good discussion yesterday or maybe Monday re burnout. How do you know whether you are burnt out or simply DO.NOT.CARE any more. To me — burnout is “temporary” and can improve like maybe with a break, a new job, etc. — something that re engages you. OTOH if you don’t care, I don’t know what the help is for that. 14 years out of law school. Liked the first 8-9 years of my career in biglaw but got pushed out (same story as many others so I won’t get into it). Took a while to land another job, but landed a government job where I have been for 4 years. I simply DO.NOT.CARE. At first I knew it was about getting back on my feet again after losing a job I wanted, being unemployed, and frankly just being tired of working 6 days a week for 9 years at all hours of the day/night. I know that exhaustion lasted my first 2-ish years here. Years 3-4 have me thinking — I simply don’t care about the work, that’s why my attitude is like this (despite being well rested now). But I also find myself thinking — what if it isn’t THIS job; what if I can never care about or even superficially enjoy another job again? (Loved my biglaw job and became VERY jaded losing that and suddenly life became and still is all about $$$ – not the work). If there is a (rare) job to apply for, I find myself “worried” about the idea that I could get it — because OMG I’d have to work HARD(ER) and what if I just can’t anymore. Anyone go through anything similar? Would love stories of your career as well as how you sorted things out.

    1. My guess is that you are one of those people who is happiest and most motivated when there is a lot of work and stress.

      A lot of people want government jobs with steady hours and decent pay. If that’s not what does it for you, that’s not what does it for you.

      For me at least, challenges that are almost undoable are my kind of drug. The unfortunate thing is that, between a combination of life events (any one of which would knock someone off-track, but there’s a lot of them and they keep coming), I have the approximate motivation of a flea.

      My goal is to do a good enough job now that I can position myself well to kick it into high gear if this *(&@&-storm ever ends. Not sure if that translates to your situation, but my guess is that you might need to look for jobs that really get you excited, apply, and understand that coming in as a mid-career professional is not the same thing as starting off at age 25.

      1. I think I get burnt out every day by this time. I worked today until 4:30, left work, got food @ whole foods, came home, ate by 7 and since then have been billing until just now 8:45. Now I have 15 minutes to read corporette, then put on a movie. This is my routine every weekday. Then I must do stuff on weekends, often brief writing, billing and CLE preparation. It is amazing that I can keep this up every week. Fortunately, I will be taking a few days off this weekend to spend time w/family. But it sure can be tiring, and that is why I want a change of pace; meaning a man and a baby and a home in Chapaqua! Something to look forward to. YAY!!!!!!!

    2. I’ve been through something similar. Not so much the burn out, but yes to not caring at all about my work and changing jobs. I practiced law for several years (enjoyed some parts of it, struggled with others) and left for a compliance position that I thought was more aligned with my background and where I ultimately thought I wanted to be. It was a bad move. I knew pretty much instantly that it was a bad fit for me but I wanted to make it work because … what else was I going to do. The work was so boring and in an area that I just absolutely did not find interesting or care about … like, at all. Every meeting where the team was discussing what to them was an engaging issue that needed to be dealt with, I could’ve just flipped a coin and been done with the whole thing because I did. not. care. I also started to worry that what if it’s just me? What if it’s just my personality and I’ll never be happy in any job? Honestly, therapy helped with examining some of those thoughts, but also, I got out and now I’m in a job that is super engaging – still has some funny challenges that drive me crazy but I love the work. I work a lot harder than I ever did in the earlier job, but I’m so much happier. I’d rather be a little stressed but engaged and intellectually stimulated than constantly bored out of my mind.

      1. Would you mind what it is about your current job that makes it so engaging? I’m similarly afraid I’ll never be happy with any job. I get the therapy part, and that helps, but I also know a job I can deal with would help.

        1. Trying to keep it a little vague, but basically the compliance job addressed a very narrow area that I did not care about. And that’s all it ever was, all the time. It was dull and to me, it didn’t seem to mater. Regardless of any outcome on any day, I didn’t care. Current job is back in legal practice, in-house, where I get to work a ton of different issues, and basically every single issue is by itself more interesting than what I did in compliance. No day is the same and I feel like the stuff I work on really has a directly impact on the people we are trying to help. It can still be really hard (in some ways, harder) but it helps a ton that I actually give a crap about the work.

    4. Have you started therapy yet? I don’t mean to be unsympathetic but you’ve been posting about this for years. Feel free to carry on being depressed about you life but at this point that’s a choice you are making. You have a good job that pays you enough money that ain’t coal mining. If you want to make your peace with it and find happiness you can.

      1. Therapy really really really sounds like the answer here. It helps you out of ruts in your thinking, the well-worn rabbit trails of negative thoughts that can get you stuck, like OP sounds. I think the right therapy relationship could help OP to figure out whether she can find fulfillment at this job (because of or in spite of it) and if the answer is no, help her get herself onto a new path.

    5. This stood out to me: ” (Loved my biglaw job and became VERY jaded losing that and suddenly life became and still is all about $$$ – not the work)”

      Something happened to you at that point that really, really shifted your mindset. It was probably exacerbated by your exhaustion. Now the exhaustion has cleared, but the mindset is still in place. When that’s happened to me, it’s like a trauma/ hard season caused me to flip a switch inside …usually to a position of giving up, resignation, cynicism, victimhood, deliberate apathy, etc. Because I cared, and got hurt by it, so I’ve given up on caring. It’s like someone who went through a traumatic divorce and swore off intimate relationships, and now has to go back to risking again.

      I have needed counseling to help me move past these kinds of mindsets, once they’ve taken hold.

      1. This. I was thinking the same. OP sounds like you may need a new job but more than that it sounds like a shift in mind space. You’ve been hurt before by losing a job you wanted, so now you don’t want to want anything the same way — so that if you lose it, it won’t hurt the same way again. It’s easier to view it as all about $$$. Nothing truly wrong with that – people do work for $$$ and most don’t love work. I think if you find a way to make $$$ at something you like – not necessarily love – that may be enough for the next step.

        1. I did not reply yesterday bcs I was looking for a psychologist article related that helped me to understand my feelings in my jobs after the crisis. The difference in this case it is that she lost the job, not that she changed it. There is a grieving process to do and a task to recover self-esteem and pride and having another job it is not enought, you continue feeling like a looser. This is harder when you identified a lot yourself with your job and position. Money is only one of the signals.
          Thank you for sharing, with the crisis we are more people in the same boat.

    6. I’ve been through periods of not caring, but it sounds like you’re catastrophizing. Create the reality that you want. You don’t want this? Pick something else and work toward it. If you aren’t sure what that is or how to do that, consider therapy. And for all the things we can’t control in life, remember that nothing stays the same way for long. Even the bad stuff will change quickly enough as long as you’re doing your part.

      You sound not very well balanced and really irrational. We’ve all been there, so no judgment. Just realize that just because things feel this way doesn’t mean they are that way in reality. You can change what you’re not happy with.

      1. Talk about women supporting other women. Is it really necessary to call someone unbalanced?

        1. Sorry that came off harsher than I meant it. Just that it sounds like she’s in a not good place and not thinking super clearly. It happens. When I do that, I take some comfort in knowing that I’m having feelings and am a little spun up and that it’s not as bad as it feels like it is, or at least there’s a way forward.

          It was an unkind and thoughtless way to phrase it and I apologize.

    7. I left a big law firm after five years and was suffering intense burnout (not to mention disappointment and despair). My next job didn’t look to be much better. But then – I started focusing on finding fulfillment in my life outside of work. I traveled, I dated, I fell in love… and lo and behold, I finally started to recover from what seemed like endless burnout. The job might be your problem… but it might be something else in your life that is lacking.

    8. I didn’t reply the other day, but it got me thinking. I experienced what appeared to be a burnout for a couple of years, but looks like have almost over come that feeling now. Thinking about it, what I experienced was not a burnout due to the technical aspect of the job, but fatigue and stress dealing with toxic situations. Coupled with no visible successes(like promotion, big salary hike etc), I was done with my career. I just wanted to run away somewhere and never see my workplace/people again.

      I changed my job to a different group in the same company and before starting the new job, I took a three month time off (which is a perk at my job after you work there for certain number of years). Due to unexpected visa fiasco,
      I couldn’t leave the US (as I had planned and go to my home country). Now, I had three months without any plans. It gave me time for reflection.I thought about all that had happened for last few years. I realized that I am at my happiest when I am busy, doing something which is perceived as important and hence attached to a reward, technically challenging and under moderate pressure. I crave for the high feeling I experience when after resolving a difficult problem at work. For a couple of years, I had been at a toxic workplace where most of the time you are just dealing with office politics (which was/is very tiring for me) and not making any progress in my career ladder. I was not getting what I expected from work and I was not getting it from anywhere else either. I was frustrated, exhausted,angry, jealous, sad everything at the same time.

      To fix this, I had to expect less from work and find that satisfaction somewhere else. So, I decided that I would start and run a small one person business on the side and started working on it.When I returned to work after three month break, I had something going on outside of work that keeps me busy, challenged and hence satisfied. I am more efficient at work, I don’t get frustrated easily and I don’t take a lot of things personally any more. Added to that, my new team has awesome people. Work is not as challenging, has reasonable flexible hours and sometimes it can be very slow. It doesn’t bother me much because it just means I have more time to spend on my business. If I cannot move up the ladder fast,it is still okay as I can measure my success outside of work. Before, my current situation would make fee feel stressed about where my career would go if I was not busy and doing high visibility projects all the time.Of course, there is no guarantee that my side business will succeed. However, even if my business fails, I am okay because it is a huge learning experience and I can try something else.

      We are trying to have children now. It has been a difficult journey so far in that aspect as well. But having a child may give rise to a whole new perspective. We shall see…

  8. I have darker skin and so a rich yellow is a great color on me. I don’t like to buy and get rid of things often, though, so if I buy something now I’d want it to last me years. I’m thinking about buying this in the yellow. I don’t want to pay that much for it if it’s going to look super tacky or dated in a couple of years. thoughts?

    https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/joie-madora-top/5149432

    1. That is beautiful and classic. I don’t think there is any reason it would look dated/formerly trendy a couple of years from now.

    2. My hesitation would come from the texture of the fabric. It’s hard to tell without seeing it in person, but there’s something that seems off about it to me.

  9. I need help on rocking nail polish that isn’t beige/light pink/greige. I get acrylic fills every two weeks, and I almost always get very neutral colors in gel polish. At the last appointment, I went with a geranium pink with glitter in it, not realizing just how bright it really is. I wear a lot of colors normally, and I am having issues with trying to get this polish to work with many of them. It looks terrible with red. It looks awful with peach. It’s okay with greens and pretty good with blues. The best is with the half a dozen pink shirts or blazers I own. But I don’t want to wear the same color every day; sometimes, I’m in the mood for red or peach, not pink.

    I can’t even generally bring myself to get a blue or lavender polish. When I was using regular polish, I could just remove a color at night & replace it with a different color. Gel is a lot harder to do that with!

    If you do nail colors beyond the neutral, how do you make them work with your wardrobe?

    (I broke a nail this morning getting into the car to go to work, and I got it fixed over lunch. While I was there waiting for the polish to cure, I was looking at the samples and thinking how many of them I wouldn’t consider getting, then realizing that maybe the problem is how I’m looking at it….)

    1. I don’t do glitter, ever. I do dip powder. I think red polish is really a neutral, and won’t stick out that much even with pink. I think about what I have to do the next two weeks, and if it is anything super-important, I will get something beige or light pink.

    2. Maybe it is less about color and more about nail length and shape. I tend to think that a short round or almond shaped nail in just about any color is more “neutral” than a longer nail with a point or square shape with just about any color.

      1. This was my thought reading your post (not having too much length or specific point or square is the key). Personally, I just really tend to dislike the look of fake nails and am even shying away from the gel look. With that caveat, I’m thinking the length and prominence of your nails overall (based on the fact that you get fills) may be what is making the color more of an issue for you. Just “thinking out loud” here about what might be making it too jarring for you–if you want long nails or fake nails or whatever, go for it! But that might mean you have to care less about color clashing or only wear super neutral colors.

        All of that said, I do like to sort of be aware that my nail color may clash with an outfit but I don’t wear a ton of red and sort of figure that most pinks can go with most other pinks well enough. (So, for example, in the summer I would probably only get red nails around the Fourth of July… or just go with white.) The winter is far easier because very dark maroon can go with pretty much whatever and fall is easy too because a dark grey works well for everything. Summer is easy if you like white. Spring is the only season I struggle with at all, and that’s a very mild struggle.

        1. I second this. My nails, even with gel, don’t grow very long. I’ve read (and experience seems to bear out) that the shorter your nails, the more wild you can go with color. I don’t venture anywhere near blues or greens, and if I’m going to spend the money I do usually stick with a fairly neutral pale pink or a classic red – there’s a reason it’s a classic – but might you consider a metallic? Gold or copper or silver might surprise you in how well it goes with lots of things, just like jewelry does. That said, again, if your nails are very long, they’ll make much more of a statement no matter what color you choose, and that may or may not be in your comfort zone.

        2. Can you explain what you mean by “the gel look”? (Serious question) I’m a horrible nail biter, so I do acrylics but I keep my nails pretty short, maybe just 1 mm over the edge of the nail, and I typically wear neutrals of some sort (pale pink, beige, etc.). I don’t really think it looks any different from if I had real nails that were grown out to that length, but maybe I”m kidding myself. When you say “gel look” I start thinking about the look of long talon-like nails with a lot of jazz going on …

    3. I either go super light/neutral or super dark (dark burgundy/navy/purple, so dark it’s almost black). I find primary colours aren’t as versatile. Dark or light goes with everything. But if you’re that picky over your nail colour matching your outfit, gels/acrylics aren’t for you.

      And no glitter.

      1. +1
        I’ll occasionally do a raspberry in summer, when my wardrobe is heavy on navy/white and I know it won’t clash. NEVER glitter.

    4. Um I’m not a professional model so I just wear my nail polish and don’t freak out about it matching everythibg

      1. LOL SAME! IDGAF about my nail polish color matching/coordinating with my outfit unless I’m giving a presentation. MAYBE for a wedding. Maybe.

      2. Yep, this. I get whatever color I want that day, and it almost always has glitter. Nobody else cares either and my career is just fine.

    5. I usually treat any nail color as a neutral, even if it’s not. That is to say, I wear my nail color for 2-3 weeks and it is what it is. If I do feel like it only goes with certain things, then I limit my wardrobe for that 2-3 week period. So with your geranium pink now, it sounds like you don’t like it with red or peach. I would just not wear red or peach for two weeks. Think of it as a temporary capsule wardrobe. But it’s not forever, and when you change the color in a week or two, you can bring back your red/peach clothes.

    6. I have a polish range that runs the RGB scale. I’ve never matched my outfits to my polish or vice versa. All I care about is whether it’s professional enough for what I have going on that particular week. I wouldn’t stress about it.

    7. I also go with super light or super dark. I have a really light peach right now and before that had black. I do dip powder so same story of being stuck with it for a few weeks. I find that if something is almost black or almost white it really doesn’t clash with much.

    8. Separate from the OP’s question–Someone mentioned this morning that disliking long or fake nails is classist and/or racist. I guess I can see where that is coming from w/r/t sterotyping but given that nails are entirely an aesthetic feature that can be done or not done anywhere on the spectrum without regard to one’s class or race (unlike hair, for example), how is it classist or racist to judge* someone based on how that individual chooses to style her (or his) nails?

      I’m truly asking for insight, here, not trying to stir the pot. FWIW, I am white but fall pretty far left on the political spectrum. However, I grew up in a city (yes, city, and a fairly large one) that just doesn’t have a ton of POC diversity outside of Hispanic people and I think it has hindered my understanding of racism because if you don’t see POC in your community, you also don’t see the casual racism towards those people. So, I feel like I have a blind spot for some types of racism and would like to better understand how preferences about nails (for example) could be/is construed to be a racist (or classist) opinion.

      *I use the term judge here very loosely, as I wouldn’t expect hardcore judgement regarding someone’s nails almost ever because…they are NAILS.

      1. Because style isn’t individual. It’s absolutely tied to your race and class.

        1. So what, though? Am I not supposed to have personal preferences in my own self-presentation? Do I have to be indifferent towards the styles of, say, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy vs Kim Kardashian? If forced to choose, I prefer the former style. Is it allowable for me to like a lot of neutrals and understated, looser clothing versus a lot of color and body-fitting outfits, or is that not allowed and I have to pretend that I like all styles equally? (Of course, people should dress how they want to — this is my personal preference for my own presentation.)

          1. So to take it back to nails — am I “allowed” simply not to like the look of long, talon-shaped nails with nail art, bright color, and glitter?

          2. You can’t help how you feel, only how you act. It’s obviously fine for you to do your nails however you want. It’s also not something you can help if you look at someone’s nails and go, hmm, not my thing.

            Where it may start to cross the line is where you say, “Ugh, having long fake nails is so trashy” or “People who do their nails X way are unprofessional.” Basically, associating a way of doing one’s nails with certain character traits — is it really about the nails, or is the thought process really (nail style) –> (culture associated with that nail style) –> (assumptions about the people in that culture), which then gets condensed to (nail style) –> (assumptions about that person). It’s that last jump that may be racist/classist.

      2. “So, I feel like I have a blind spot for some types of racism and would like to better understand how preferences about nails (for example) could be/is construed to be a racist (or classist) opinion.”

        If I, as a white woman, am sitting in a nail salon, see a POC next to me getting long talon-like nails in bright colors with glitter and nail art and think quietly to myself “I’m going to go with Ballet Slippers” there’s nothing racist in the least. If I think I am too good to offer a friendly smile and perhaps some chit-chat to the woman next to me as we get our nails done because I happen not to like either the color of her skin or the style of her nails, THEN I am racist. See the difference?

    9. I just don’t ever worry about matching my nails to my outfit. I sometimes notice if the color looks particularly good with something I’m wearing, but I would never let my nail color dictate what I’m going to wear.

      I have sparkly orchid on right now. My usual color is a berry shade. I also like green and teal nail polish, and occasionally lavender.

  10. Are Ferragamo Vara pumps with the low block heel dowdy or matronly? I just got a pair in black patent, and I can’t quite convince myself they are stylish. I’m in my mid-40s.

    1. I do think they’re dowdy, but I know others think they’re a “classic.”

      1. Agreed. They’re dowdy. I wonder if they are somehow considered a “classic” simply because of the brand? Just because they’re a pricey and well-known brand doesn’t make something a good choice. Block heels are everywhere now so I can see why they’re having a moment, but I loathe them. The flats, however, are far less offensive and I do think those are classic.

      2. I think they are both dowdy and classic. I think the rest of your outfit is key as to whether the shoes read as dowdy or classic.

    3. Are you a size 9? If everyone convinces you that they are dowdy, send them to me!

  11. I posted late this morning about revisiting a discussion that was had while interviewing about potential plans to move my current cubicle seat to an office. The comments this morning were encouraging to say something- anyone have suggestions on how? My conversations with my superiors are always about work issues, so Im concerned bringing it up after one of those conversations makes it sound trivial. On the other hand, it seems like it would escalating the issue too seriously to schedule an appointment just to talk about office space. Thoughts?

    1. If you haven’t established a relationship where you can just say “oh hey, looks like there are s couple open offices, can I move” then don’t say anything and work on that

  12. I’ve been at the same job since graduating law school, so forgive me if this is a naïve question. I would like to apply for a job where the salary is listed as a range with a $50k spread. I would only accept this job if I was in the middle to half of this range, which would put me at a slight raise above my current position. It’s hard for me to gauge where I would fall within the experience spectrum though – the listed minimums in terms of years of experience are significantly below what I have, but the seniority of the position and the actual skills required are a stretch for me and I do not see how anyone with the minimum years could possibly have them. I could and would not take a pay cut to take this job. There is no way of knowing where in this salary range I would land without applying and getting an offer, is there? It is a local government job, and I have no idea how negotiable the salary would be.

    2. If they give a range, it is negotiable. With government go in as high as you can because raises can become scarce and minimal percentage wise. Negotiate for upper range–if they want you, they will give it to you. If you need a fallback position ask for a starting point and then an automatic raise at 90 or 180 days. Believe in yourself, your skills, and your worth and go get that position!

    3. Go for it, and definitely attempt to negotiate if they offer you less than you want.

    4. If you’ve been at the same job since graduating and this is even a little bit interesting to you, it’s probably worth applying to get back in the game, get a little practice talking to people about yourself, etc.

  13. So, I’ve been exclusively working from home for many years now—totally remote, company is across the country, most of my coworkers are also remote. I’m fed up with my current company and looking for a change. But I feel like limiting myself to other remote jobs is going to very much narrow my options, even though it’s somewhat common in my industry. But the idea of commuting to work and putting on real clothes every day…not sure how I feel about that. Has anyone made the change from work from home back to an office??

    1. I have, I went from WFH 3 days a week to going into the office full time. My commute is only about 20 minutes. I actually find being in the office less stressful in some ways because I don’t feel the need to be constantly “proving” that I’m working by sending emails constantly, responding lightning-fast, etc., as I did when I WFH. With an office job, as long as I’m sitting at my desk, I get credit for being “at work.” My situation differed from yours in that I was the only person in my firm with a WFH arrangement, so there was resentment and skepticism from my coworkers that I was constantly battling.

      I also like the structure of having set hours that I have to be in the office, so it takes away the stress of decision-making about when to start and stop my day. The flexibility I had WFH often led to guilt like, should I go pick up my kids early, should I try to knock out one more task, etc. Obviously the flexibility was also good.

      WFH gave me the chance to do a lot of “home tasks” that take lots of passive time but very little active time — putting in laundry, starting the dishwasher, putting something in the oven or Crock Pot… now I just outsource those things by having a weekly housekeeper and meal delivery service.

      Putting on “real clothes” is no issue — I subscribe to a monthly clothing rental service that keeps my wardrobe varied and handles the cleaning for me, but overall I just choose comfortable items and it’s not really that much harder to wear soft, well-fitting slacks than it is to wear jeans or yoga pants.

  14. Bleh. I work with a guy who goes out of his way to avoid me. We can work on projects together civilly, but he literally only speaks to me about work and in any more social or informal situation he will not acknowledge my presence at all. But the thing is, he’s not shy or standoffish in general. With everyone but me, he’s warm, friendly and engaging. It’s so weird to see him walk right past me with a stony look on his face, only to go up to someone else and smile and ask them how their day is. He has no authority over me, so I don’t know why this is bothering me so much, but it does and I always feel sad and bummed out after I see him.

    1. Obviously he avoids you because he is in love with you and has SECRET PAIN that he needs to hide from the world. You will both be working late in the office one day and… eventually live happily ever after.

      Okay, for real, I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of what seems like random dislike. What has helped me is just to remind myself that I have a personality and just not everyone is going to like me. I might not be a particular person’s flavor and that is okay. Some people rub me the wrong way too. It sucks, but I think it is one of those things that we all have to work on letting go. Hope this helps :)

    2. Maybe he… likes you and doesn’t want to show it, so he is actively avoiding you? Or maybe he has a thing where he doesn’t interact well with women?

    3. My first thought is that he’s into you and over-correcting on “keeping it professional.” I become extremely standoffish when I like someone and don’t want them to know (though I don’t think I’m quite this bad). I’m sorry though–even if my theory is true, it doesn’t make your situation any better.

    4. I worked with an ex, and he would do this to me. It sucked, no one else noticed.

      I’m sure it’s for a different reason, but you have my sympathy.

    5. Thanks for the commiseration. He’s not an ex and he interacts fine with other women. I will admit it’s crossed my mind that he might like me and be acting weird about it, especially because he seems to go to great lengths to keep some physical distance between us and avoid being alone with me. A female co-worker has noticed his behavior and thinks he likes me (the majority of our co-workers are fairly oblivious guys who don’t seem to notice anything weird). But we’re both single so if he did like me, I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just be friendly and see if it could go somewhere. Neither of us supervises the other and we don’t really work that closely so I don’t think it would be terribly scandalous if something happened. Probably he just dislikes me for some random reason I’ll never know, or maybe he thinks I’m smelly and he wants to stand far away for that reason, ha. Thanks for letting me vent, I always feel better after a good whine :)

  15. Is it a thing for your hair to change texture after pregnancy? I’ve always had straight-ish hair. I think it’s always had some natural tendency to curl, but it’s heavy and when I wear it long it would mostly hang straight. But I had a baby a little over a year ago (and had the typical postpartum hair loss and regrowth) and now my hair is much more curly. If I don’t flat iron it, it looks all frizzy and messy. Is this temporary? Does anyone have strategies for managing it? I don’t have time to flat iron every day. I would love to lean into curly hair but I have no idea how to make curly hair look nice, except by blowing it out and then curling it, which I definitely don’t have time to do.

    2. It is absolutely a thing. You’ll probably have to experiment with products for curly hair, but spend a little time on the naturally curly site or the reddit/curlyhair page. The good news is that the weather is warming up so you can let it air dry on some days, which will give you a good idea of what your hair wants to do. For mine, I find that just a tiny bit of gel plus a diffuser is enough to coax my curls out for the day. (no one has time to blow out and then curl, especially on a daily basis!)

    3. Same situation here. I’m now 18 months post partum and it hasn’t gone away.
      I switched to curly-hair shampoo, conditioner and product (LUS Wavy), and am letting the back be its weird self (it does look much better with the new products). I’m curling just the front pieces (which for me, are much straighter than the back). When I look in the mirror, all I see are the curled front pieces, and feel OK about myself.

    4. I have curly hair I straightened for 15 years before letting it go curly for the last 9 months
      1) This may be obvious, but don’t brush!
      2) Cut down on how often you wash it – I used to wash it 3 times a week when I straightened it, but now it’s down to 1 time, with a low poo (deva curl) . I condition or cowash most days.
      3) Don’t use towels – I wrap my hair in a cotton tshirt using the plopping method (check g00gs for more details) while I get ready and shake it out with some light scrunching right before I leave
      4) Find a curl product that works for you – currently having good success with the Oribe curl gloss.

    5. I’ve found that my hair changes texture after pregnancy but not permanently and it has changed differently with each pregnancy. I’ve had 3- after my first my hair was insanely luscious. After my second my hair was a thin tangly mess and quite wavy. Try some of those vitamins for hair health in the interim and a good deep conditioner.

  16. This is a really odd one- does anyone out there have a spouse who simply loves to move house? DH is simply never content- 2 or 3 years in, and his initial dream house is suddenly not the one anymore. I’m swamped with a new job and he has once again found The One- and I’m so busy and tired I just told him, sign the offer, without even seeing this one…

    1. That sounds exhausting and expensive! I’ve known people who seemed to constantly be re-decorating their interiors, but never anyone who loved moving, especially when it involved buying and selling every time.

    2. How on earth do you afford this? I would think that it would get expensive to pay closing costs, inspection costs, moving costs, carry two mortgages while waiting for the old place to sell, potentially selling at a loss, etc.

      I mean, have you sat down and told him that this is not a good outlet for whatever need for change he has? Moving is a huge drain on time and finances. It disrupts the entire family (even if “the entire family” is just you two and a fish).

      1. Yes it is just us plus 2 cats- and when our last cat got old I called a halt as we were in a house the cat liked. And a couple of houses we’ve been in around 6 years. But yeah even in our good market where sales are easy and fast, we’ve lost a bit of money usually or broken even. I earn a good income so it’s more the stress for me…

        1. But… but… you’re spending all of that money to be *stressed out*. It’s not like you spend $20k every few years on amazing vacations. You spend it to be stressed and have your life in constant upheaval.

          Now I have to ask: is your husband employed? Are you the primary breadwinner?

        2. Okay this doesn’t make sense AT ALL! I was assuming that he wanted to keep moving because he was finding great deals on new places and your old house had appreciated in value, etc. If it’s not helping you financially, then this is crazy…

    3. Good grief, I would hate that. If he needs an outlet, suggest that he rearrange the furniture? Or even mildly redecorate? Surely buying a couple cans of paint and a new bookcase or accents would be cheaper than moving house every couple years.

    4. OMG. This man needs a new hobby. Maybe building models or something. Let him redecorate a room or do some landscaping. Maybe he can build you a koi pond.

      Like astrology, this is a time where we look past the “want” and figure out what *need* it is filling. Godspeed to you.

    5. I have an ex-bf who is like this. It is part of the reason he’s an ex. It obviously wasn’t the deciding factor but the fact that he just couldn’t feel settled wasn’t going to work with my career or lifestyle. (Largely because he wants to move CITIES every three to five years and I can’t be up and leaving my professional network that often.)

      For your H, do you think maybe he’s trying to climb a ladder to get to a point where he thinks he “should” be in life? Essentially judging his life’s progress via his house/the neighborhood, etc.?

      I agree with others that moving frequently is draining and expensive! If you go through with this move track your expenses meticulously so that you have something to show him next time he wants to move!

    6. What on earth? That was stupid. How about saying “no, I don’t want to move.”

    7. It’s not my thing, but I could see how it could be someone else’s. That said, I think this may be a situation where you all should be renters, not buyers.

  17. I was asked by my practice chair and a partner to attend a conference related to a part of my practice I am trying to expand. Hopped on here to share the happies! I appreciate that my employer is receptive about making sure we enjoy our work/get the work we want. I’m also a huge nerd and love conferences.

  18. Has anyone relocated to France for work? My company is reorganizing and shifting some central functions to France. Legal dept hasn’t been determined yet, but a few of my coworkers in other central functions have already been asked whether they would be willing to relocate. DH and I are thrilled by the idea. But I fear I may be over romanticizing. (We have 3 preschoolers- Bringing Up Bebe is on my mind). My French is basic. Not looking for advice as this is obviously a very big personal decision with a ton of factors. More looking for other people’s experiences in this.

    1. I’ve done a short-term relocation to Europe (not France though) with kids, and the poster Pogo on the mom’s page asked about a 6 month relocation to Europe recently and got lots of advice. But short term is very different than a permanent move. I’d be really hesitant to pack up and go somewhere so different permanently, especially with kids. Can you ask for a short-term appointment first so you can try it out?

      With respect to France specifically, one of my closest friends lives there and I definitely think Bringing Up Bebe romanticizes it a LOT. Her kids have been raised exclusively in Paris, surrounded by native Parisians and they are just as picky eaters as my kids, throw just as many tantrums as my kids, and her and her mom friends are just as frazzled as me and my mom friends. I would also describe Paris as a baby-unfriendly city. Most restaurants don’t have high chairs, for example. I like the more independent attitude the French have towards parenting ( as described in BUB), but I also really like all the conveniences of the US, and I would really not want to move to Paris with young kids.

    2. We did two years in Germany and I would go again in a heartbeat, basically anywhere comparable. (Had two small kids, had a third there) I loved it but it is a huge factor of personality. I am a culture vulture and thrive in it. This was my second time moving to Europe. A huge portion of the other ex-pats were aggravated and annoyed on a daily basis (or the wives were anyway, and they were 99% trailing spouses). I would stay indefinitely, given the opportunity but again, it is entirely related to personality and ability to function in that society with the requisite compensation package.

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