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For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.
Colorful suits seem to come in waves — about five years ago there were a TON of purple suits for the taking. Then there was an abundance of cobalt suits. More recently, it seems like I've seen a lot of great burgundy suits. So while I'm not sure if purple suits are coming back in style or not, they are on the rarer side right now — and I will say that this is a great-looking suit if you're on the hunt. I primarily love the jacket, pants, and sheath dress (particularly the sheath dress! what a great basic!). There is a skirt, but I'll admit I have mixed feelings on flouncy skirts with suits, and if I got it would probably have mine hemmed just a bit shorter (just at the base of my knee bone). For what it's worth, all of the pieces are also available in solid black. I like that it comes in regular, petite, plus sizes, and plus size petites, and that they're all pretty reasonably priced. The jacket (Seasonless Crepe Single-Button Jacket) is $199, the skirt (Seasonless Crepe Full Skirt) is $99, the pants (Seasonless Crepe Wide-Leg Pant) are $119, and the dress (Seasonless Crepe Sheath) is $159.
(L-all)
Sales of note for 9.19.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
I’m hosting a b’day party for my SO next week. It’s for a group ~15 30-somethings, from 7pm- TBD. What can I serve for food? I want to serve dinner or dinner-like food, with seasonal booze.
sweetknee
What about a winter favorite like chili ? You can do assorted toppings, and keep it warm all night. People can help themselves, and it goes great with beer. It is one of those things that doesn’t require a lot of plates, utensils, etc. and can be eaten in a casual way rather than a sit down dinner.
Alternatively, you could do several heavy appetizers that might more or less take the place of dinner. Things like Swedish meatballs, bacon wrapped shrimp, crab puffs, etc. Those are still appetizers, but heavy enough that they might do double duty. The downside is that you will have to keep refilling/replacing the buffet.
Anonymous
What goes with chili (other than beer)? I like beer, but recognize that others may find that too heavy. Pinot?
MNF
Margaritas. Rioja.
Runner 5
Seconding a big punchy Rioja.
Maddie Ross
In my mind, pinot goes with everything. But you could also do bourbon. Either in a mixed drink, or just to pour on the rocks.
Jellybean
If you want a cocktail you could do Kentucky mules. Bourbon + ginger beer…yum.
Chicago Bean Accounter
Agree on the chili with a spread of toppings – I do this regularly for football games, and I generally make a large pan of cornbread to go with it. Pumpkin/fall beers and a spiced and spiked hot apple cider would pair well with chili too!
CMC
This! Down to the cornbread and spiked cider. So excited for fall.
Resident Vegetarian
If you have any veggie guests, you may want to keep the base vegan which is really easy with chili, and then have meat and cheese, etc as a mix in. This also works with taco or noodle bars for a diverse range of guests.
Clementine
What does SO like? I vote that you do whatever food they like with bonus points if you can easily order big trays of it from a restaurant and just serve or make it ahead. My initial ideas were:
-Big trays of delicious Mexican Food
-Lasagnas or other big baked pasta dish
-Pizzas. Go for homemade or gourmet pizzas, stepped up a notch from a College party. I would serve them on great plates and enjoy the fact that people really do LOVE pizza.
-Pulled Pork/Pulled Chicken sliders – Cook and serve in a crock pot with coleslaw and pickles.
Just don’t stress! Even potato chips served in a fabulous bowl are great.
Anon
Food for 30 people that is easy for you and delicious? If budget is not an issue, then I’d cater Chipotle.
A from Boston
What about bacon jalapeno mac and cheese?
Anonymous
Talbots used to be a staple for me until they shortened their hemlines significantly (in a bid to be seen as less frumpy, I think). 39″ is way too short for this 5’10” girl…Talbots, pleaaase consider lengthening your hemlines or offering Tall options in dresses.
Talbots fit
I love that they still sell wool suits with fully-lined pants. But I wish they carried them in the stores!
Can anyone comment on sizing compared to other stores? I am a 6 in pants in Halogen Taylors (but need to have the waist taken in – NBD) and a 6 in the suit jackets. Banana changed their sizes so that my prior BR sizes no longer apply. I am a 32C bust (so a pear b/c I have hips), so I think Talbots would be perfect. My last attempt at ordering was a total bust but I’d be willing to try again.
talbots sizing
Is huge. I actually just bought this suit and had to return it due to oversizing. I am usually 4/2 jacket/bottom in Talbots and 6/4 in everything else. This jacket in size 4 was loose, but the 2 skirt practically swam away.
Anonymous
I usually order talbots a size down from everything but this season I’ve had to go down another size. And even with a smaller size I have to have the waist taken in on jackets.
TBK
Yes. I can’t wear their jackets. Just way too boxy in the waist.
Anon
I love their clothes but for the past few years, the sleeves are too long. Just the sleeves. Petite sleeves used to be perfect on me and yes, I’m sure my arms haven’t shrunk!
Anonymous
Dear ladies:
I hate being treated like a “lady.” For example – and a big one – it makes me very uncomfortablewhen men refuse to get in the elevator unless I walk in first. I just hate it and grrrrrrrr. Please note that I very well understand this usually comes from “good intentions” and that many women appreciate it. Nevertheless, I hate this and it makes me feel angry (can you tell, heh?).
When I lived in the Midwest and Northeast, I actually rarely came across this. I live in Atlanta now, and I take the same big, busy elevator multiple times a day, so I encounter this all the time. Does anyone here feel the same way? I bet we are few, heh. What do you do in real life? Ideas?
Maddie Ross
I’ll admit, if I think about it I don’t love the historical/social overtones of the gesture, but I do appreciate that there is some kind of social contract for who goes first. It would be best if the social contract was just those closest got on first and vice versa getting off. But save that, it’s easier than people just shoving (which I’ve experience in other cultures).
KT
I get irrationally annoyed, especially at a gas station or whatever when they rush to get the door for me–it makes me really uncomfortable and forces interactions I wouldnt otherwise have. If I’m not gracious and overflowing with gratitude, I’ve had several call me a B*tch.
I handle it by just grabbing the door if I get there first and holding it open for the next person, regardless of gender–I have some older men who get upset, but most just look confused and move on with their day
A from Boston
“If I’m not gracious and overflowing with gratitude, I’ve had several call me a B*tch”
oh good, it’s not just me. I remember coming home one morning and a man leaving the building decided to hang back and hold the door for me, even though I was nowhere near it yet. I hurried up so he wouldn’t have to wait too long for me, and I did thank him when I went through, but he still went “sure” in this super annoyed tone and walked off in a huff. Buddy, if you didn’t want to hold the door, you didn’t need to hold the stupid door!
Anonymous
I get all “bless your heart” to guys who don’t walk on the street side of the sidewalk.
But I get that that’s a social thing. At work, that’s not a social thing. Get in the d*mn elevator already, people.
I do hold the door for people who have their hands full.
Aunt Jamesina
Wait, walk on the street side of the sidewalk as in… protecting you from falling into the street? Wha? Does this only apply to men with whom you’re walking, or to all of them? I’m trying to imagine how on earth this is supposed to work in cities with crowded sidewalks.
FWIW, I enjoy when people do nice gestures because I am legitimately in need, or because they would do it for any other human. I don’t enjoy when they’re doing it just for the laydeez.
Meg March
It’s to protect all your fancy lady skirts from getting splashed/dirty from the street! And yes, it’s for a couple walking together.
Anonymous
Doors/elevators doesn’t bother me so much (although I’m uncomfortable with the implications, if I think about it, especially in a work context). But men trying to lift my luggage down for me from airline overhead bins drives me CRAZY. Partly I think it’s just because I consider myself an excellent packer so it’s a point of pride for me that my carry-on never weighs more than I can easily lift above my head, but I also think it’s just very sexist and condescending.
Alli
I think it’s a nice thing to do. I’m a great packer as well, but when a big giant man is standing right there and can easily hand my suitcase to me, and he does so, I know he’s doing it to be nice– not because he thinks I can’t get it myself. I think it’s really important to consider people’s intentions. Is he doing this to be nice, or is he doing this because he thinks Wimmenfolk can’t carry their own bags? Probably just to be nice.
Anonymous
I don’t know, it never happens to my husband (who’s not an especially big guy). If it’s a case of there’s someone in between me and him and I can’t reach it and he can, then yes I can see that as more of a being nice thing. But I’m talking I’m standing right in front of my bag about to lift it down, when a guy swoops in and lifts it down for me (usually while saying “here you go, miss” and winking or something similar).
Anon
In Atlanta. Totally don’t care. From the Northeast originally.
I will, however, hold my ground any time I’m carrying a large box/package/lots of groceries and some dude offers to help me. “No thank you!” or, if pushed “No thank you – I’m stronger than I look!” Because oh please.
Anonymous
I don’t get it — if you are carrying things, how do you open a door?
We’re heavy door / swipe access heavy here and it takes two free hands to open anything. I take any offered help, regardless of gender.
Anon
Sorry – I meant the offers to HELP me carry something. Open the door for me? Hell yes! But I can carry my own things for myself.
mascot
My being raised in the South is showing, but isn’t it polite to offer help to anyone who is carrying something bulky/heavy ? I see plenty of offers from men and women, even strangers, who are trying to be helpful when you are struggling through a door or something. I don’t mean in that gift of fear stalker way, but just being helpful.
But, if this really bothers you, avoid Publix and their insistent carry-out service.
Anon Worker Bee
+1 to how insistent Publix employees are about this. I usually say “No thanks, it’s way too hot/cold/rainy outside. Please stay inside and stay cool/warm/dry” and that works. I do appreciate how nice and helpful their employees are in general and I imagine many shoppers, especially those that are older/disabled/wrangling kids, welcome the offer.
PUBLIX ANON
FYI If Publix employees do not offer at least 3 times to carry out your groceries, depending on who’s around they could get in trouble. For instance there was a new regional manager who re-implemented the “3 times” rule and the lower level managers were told to review the cameras and make sure everyone was doing it all the time. Believe me, they don’t always want to leave their busy bagging line to walk you to your car. I mean, it’s polite and I like that but having to offer to some creepy dud who says “yes please walk me out with my gallon of milk” and being unable to refuse because of the job description really sucks.
Sorry, ranting is over, I just see a lot of comments on different blogs saying hoe overly polite Publix employees are and thought I’d finally put in my 2 cents.
Anon Worker Bee
@PUBLIX ANON – Thank you for this information; it’s helpful to know the background on this. I appreciate the offer of help but it feels weird to me to accept, especially since I believe it is also against store policy to accept tips. Would you recommend that we just say “No thanks” each time or is there a better way to decline? I really do appreciate how polite and helpful the employees are and I’m sorry if I sounded critical in my comment above.
mascot
I think “no, thank you” or similar is sufficient. If the employees are your store are really insistent, mention it to the store manager. There’s a fine line between making sure your employees offer the stores services and having an overbearing requirement that is annoying your customers.
A from Boston
It’s certainly polite to offer, but to me, it’s annoying to insist once someone has declined. If I say “no thanks, I got it,” I’m not testing or insulting anyone’s manhood, I’m simply declining help that I don’t want or need, and if someone then grabs it out of my hands anyway under the assumption that being female makes me unqualified to carry my own stuff, I get mad.
anon
This.
Anon in Boston
This this and this. Really. I swear. I can handle myself. And if I get asked three times by the same person if I need help carrying my things, odds are I’m not going to be nice on the third ask.
Ellen
I think I have to disagree with the OP’s who are opposed to haveing men being shivelrus to us. Dad says we are the fairer sex so men should take this into consideration by carrying heavy thing’s for us (tho we bear their kid’s), and opening the door’s for us. I do NOT have a probelem with this! After all, it is men that have to work building our sky scraper’s and pickeing up our trash, so if they want to be nice and open door’s for us, why is that such a big deal? FOOEY!
The manageing partner INSISTS that I get into a cab with him and he flag’s down the cab, then open’s the door for me b/f he get’s in. In court, the bailiff who calls the roll ALWAYS refers to me as Miss Barshevsky and hold’s the little door open for me when I come up and approach the bench. When we have to walk in court with 4″ heels and pencil skirt’s and are carrying our pleeding’s, that is VERY helpful, so what is the probelem?
Rogue Banker
I kinda know how you feel. It’s one thing if I’ve got my hands full of copy paper/boxes/pallets of water bottles and you offer to get the door, which is nice and polite. It’s another if you say “Oh, that looks so heavy! Let me take it / let one of the boys take it!” which. No. Just no. I am not a delicate little flower damn it! :P
Anonymous
My father does this to me – like tries to help me carry a shopping bag with 2lb of tomatoes in it. Reminding him that I am not pregnant or disabled does not help.
Somehow taking or refusing unwanted “help” from strangers is easier.
Anonymous
This is called good manners. I smile and say thank you.
I agree
+1
Get a grip ladies.
anon
I think there’s a difference between “good manners” and what we’re talking about here. I hold doors open for people, ask if I can help them carry something if it looks like they’re struggling, etc, and I would expect the same from other people/men. It gets excessive when someone won’t take no thank you for an answer or otherwise makes it obviously a female specific thing.
Aunt Jamesina
I would like to respectfully disagree. In many instances the help is contingent upon the sex of the person in need (or “need”). How is it good manners if a man offers to help a woman, but will pass by a man in the same scenario?
Lady Belle
Your best bet to pull through this unusual angry response to a common gesture of goodwill is to accept it as the… price of admission. Consider yourself in a new relationship with the city of Atlanta where you’ve just discovered an unchangeable characteristic that you just.can’t.stand. Learn to appreciate the kindness from strangers or dump Atlanta or move on.
Anonymous
I like this advice for places in general!
A from Boston
I’ve never been a fan of chivalry, simply because it’s gendered. It made sense when women were frail and weak and wore corsets, and doors were heavy, it made sense when we didn’t have any income, and I will admit it’s a way to prevent men from acting like entitled douchebags (“I’m a man, I work hard and I am tired, therefore it is I who deserves the seat!” or “I am a busy business man, therefore my time is more important and I should go first ahead of this useless vagina-haver!”). Whoever gets to the door first should hold it open, whoever is closer to the automatic door should go first, whoever proposed the date should be prepared to pay, and as much as I’d love a seat on the train I wouldn’t expect a man to give me his unless I was pregnant or on crutches.
anon
I get this a lot. Usually I just do it right back. You insisted that I get on the elevator first? I’ll insist you get off first. My building has two sets of doors coming into the building, so this works particularly well. I keep the insisting polite, “Oh no, after you!” The first time I did that, this guy chuckled to himself and was like WOW! A lady holding the door open for me, how nice!” I usually get a chuckle or two, which I find enormously irritating, but at least I’m asserting myself.
Anonymous
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I will try this!
Anonymous
+1 – Upper Midwest usually has double doors on everything (keeps the cold out and the heat in), so even if someone holds the first door for me, I’m likely to hold the second door open for them.
Carrie...
I always do this. Most people are charmed and also…. see my point.
Anonymous
This sounds exhausting. Men who hold doors or let you on the elevator first aren’t doing this to demean you. They’re doing it because they were taught at some point that this is polite. These rules haven’t completely faded away; some women still appreciate or even expect these gestures. So I think we need to cut men some slack instead of trying to embarrass them. There’s certainly plenty of actual sexism out there in the world to get upset about!
Anonymous
Love the color of this suit. Wish it was wool rather than poly. Does anyone know of some wool options in a similar hue?
Snickety
Talbots has pieces in this color (they call it black currant) in Italian flannel, which is a winter weight wool.
Scarf update
FYI — after various scarf posts here, I bit the bullet and bought a Hermes maxi-twilly. I have struggled to tie square scarves, especially silk or silky ones. The maxi-twilly is about 8 inches by a lot of inches and was very manageable by moi.
I don’t splurge a lot, but I felt like I will actually wear this and finally understood getting one that is not pretty but is pretty and will work with colors I already wear a lot.
Anonymous
Congrats!!
Marilla
This made me laugh-cry, because I completely do this:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/10/13/jennifer-lawrence-has-a-point-famous-quotes-the-way-a-woman-would-have-to-say-them-during-a-meeting/?tid=sm_tw
“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”
Woman in a Meeting: “I’m sorry, Mikhail, if I could? Didn’t mean to cut you off there. Can we agree that this wall maybe isn’t quite doing what it should be doing? Just looking at everything everyone’s been saying, it seems like we could consider removing it. Possibly. I don’t know, what does the room feel?”
Natasha
All of my emails ever.
Diana Barry
TAILORING. I need a new tailor. The one I use is really close by and convenient and does great work, BUT – they are so freaking expensive. I took a Boden ponte wrap dress in to get shortened to a mini/tunic length and it was $35!!!
Any recommendations for Boston or metro west? Thanks!
BB
Umm…I hate to be “that person” but this really isn’t that expensive for a good tailor. I mean, maybe if you go to one of the places attached to a dry cleaner, you can get it done for $15, but you’d run the risk of it not being done properly, and then your dress is ruined. That tailor who shortened your dress probably took at least 15 minutes taking apart the original hem, another 15 pressing it to the right length and cutting it, and 10 minutes sewing. That’s not including what I assume was another 10 minutes spent with you measuring the thing. So $35 for an hour of skilled work which seems fair to me.
My favorite is Jerry’s in Back Bay, but he’d probably charge you $40-50 for the same thing.
KT
This. It would be one thing if it was hemming pants, but restructuring a dress to a tunic is a lot more intensive, and I don’t think $35 is egregious.
ace
Co-sign – that strikes me as an entirely reasonable figure. I’ve paid that much to have the top of a structured dress resized.
Worth it if you aren’t using the dress and would pay more than $35 for the tunic.
Diana Barry
I am also curious about this. Is it because it is a stretch material? It looks fairly easy to me – chalk bottom, measure, cut, hem.
I am totally not wearing it now and will wear the tunic, but I *did* decline them putting in the godets after doing the hem – that would have put it up to $65.
Alana
Yes, knit materials are more difficult to sew compared to woven materials.
anne-on
That sounds about right to me? I pay between 30-50 to have dresses shortened in the burbs. Less in the city, but there were ‘tailors’ in the dry cleaners on every other corner.
TO Lawyer
FWIW, I pay roughly that in Toronto. I usually only go to the tailor at my drycleaners for simple things i.e. replacing zippers, hemming pants. I stick with my talented and more expensive tailor for things like that.
rices
Where do you go for more specialized tailoring in TO?
TO Lawyer
I really like magic tailor across the street from the eaton centre. They do a fantastic job
lawsuited
I’ve yet to find a great tailor in TO, and still make the drive to my absolutely amazing tailor in Hamilton.
Josie Pye
I like Perfect Fit in Newton Centre on Comm Ave (near BC)–she doesn’t overcharge and always does a nice job. I haven’t brought her anything super complicated though, mostly just hem jobs on pants/skirts/dresses.
Diana Barry
Thanks! I will try them next.
And also, thanks all – no idea that it was going to be so much! Argh!
Lorelai Gilmore
Not in Boston but having looked high and low for a good tailor in my HCOL area, I think that sounds totally reasonable. Alas.
Waitress in a Cocktail Bar
Le Couturier on Mass. Ave. in Central Square. I think he’s gotten Best of Boston several times. His work is excellent (he’s taken up the shoulders/neckline of all my DvF Bevin dresses and did a way better job than the seamstress at Nordie’s) and he’s cheaper than my dry cleaner is for alterations.
Slippers
I am thinking about getting a pair of slippers to keep at the office just for padding from my desk to the copy machine and whatnot. But I don’t want them to obviously look like slippers, if that makes any sense. Can anyone recommend a pair that kind of looks like a ballet flat or something? Thanks!
Maddie Ross
I have a pair of suede ugg ballet slippers that seem like they would work for this. They are not shearling lined — there’s just a little shearling the heel that you cannot see. Got them from 6pm.
anon
I got a pair of dearfoams that look like flats and one pair that look like loafers. I stuck with black because they don’t stick out so much
KT
Not slippers, but try Crocs Kadee flats–they are the most comfortable things in the world (I’m an event planner and am on my feet 16 hours some days, and these keep my feet from aching) and they look mostly like normal ballet flats–it’s only on very close inspection that you can tell they are rubber. For padding around the office they’re amazing. I keep a pair at my desk for days when my heels kill me or I found out I’ll need to be staying another 8 hours.
2 Cents
Love love love love my Kadee flats! I wear them all the time because I have various foot issues and finding comfortable not-sneaker shoes can be difficult.
Aunt Jamesina
How about a pair of leather moccasins? Classic and you could even wear them on the weekend!
Other tailoring Q
I have this strange way of thinking about tailoring. Maybe coming from the thought that bad tailoring will just ruin something that was probably 85% OK.
If something comes from a mall shop (BR, Halogen stuff), I don’t mind tailoring.
But expensive things: they better be 99% or I don’t buy them. I don’t want to take a chance that they won’t get altered correctly.
BB
Another way to think about it: If I buy a $1000 suit, I want it to fit like a glove, so it goes to a tailor. But obviously a good tailor. I’m lucky that usually the only things I need tailored on suits are sleeves and hems (no taking in waists/back), but I usually plan to drop another $50-$100 to have a nice suit tailored. I also have expensive dresses tailored to perfectly match my curves.
The $20 BR blouse? I’d only tailor it if it were unwearable otherwise (which I did once with a $30 on sale Talbots skirt).
Other tailoring Q
I agree!
I am an extreme sale shopper, so for me, the math is sale price + tailoring <= value to me of perfectly fitting item.
Altered recently: shorts; DVF purchase from ebay; Akris punto purchase from ebay; BR wool suiting; Halogen suiting.
Altered poorly: Brooks Brothers sheath (have decided that their torso was just too long and that that is an impossible fix) (not by current tailor).
Would be afraid to try to buy and alter: anything Lafayette, anything Hugo Boss, Classiques, St. John
WestCoast
Just a thought, if you buy the more expensive brands at Nordstrom, you can ask them to do the tailoring. If they screw it up I think they would refund the purchase pretty easily given their customer service record.
BB
YMMV, but I’ve bought St. John and had it altered. I’ve definitely done sleeves and hems. I also got the waist of a pair of pants taken in. I did buy one jacket on sale that had this weird bulging at the chest – had to return it after my tailor said he could do anything about it. (Thank you, Nordstrom return policy)
If you find a tailor you like, I would definitely use them over the in-store one. I’ve had patchy experiences with in-store ones. Totally unrelated to their price point too. Good experience with Nordstrom, absolutely awful experience with a very high-end boutique brand store.
BB
“could NOT do anything about it”
Anonymous
Except – ready-to-wear stuff is rarely going to fit off the rack, regardless of how expensive it is.
If anything, I might expect the more expensive stuff to be more amenable to tailoring because of the expectation that the owner will want it to fit correctly and thus expect it to be tailored. I would also expect the place where I bought the expensive thing to have an experienced tailor for referral.
Jellybean
Seeking advice/anecdata about assistants. I started my first job out of law school about two months ago. I work in a boutique transactional firm with a few offices throughout the county. My biggest source of stress/uneasiness so far is how to deal with assistants. I have a hard time asking them do things because 1) I’m afraid of being perceived as “bossy” and 2) often times I could do whatever the task is faster or just as quickly as it takes me to explain the task. I also have a fear of explaining something wrong and ultimately wasting their time, as opposed to quietly doing something wrong in my own office, catching it, and fixing it.
The above applies to my interactions with the assistants generally (in the office I work out of and the ones in other offices). I struggle even more on the “bossy” front when I am making requests across offices to people I have never even met. Note that workflow requires me to utilize assistants in other offices sometimes, and it’s firm policy that assistants do certain tasks for billing reasons (some of which are the ones I mentioned that I could more easily do myself). I’m sure adapting to this will come with time, but any tips/stories are appreciated! Thanks in advance!
Anonny
Watch a few of the men interact with assistants and also observe what kind of work they’re doing, and mimic it.
Anonymous
Maybe you can look at it from a different angle. You see bossy, but maybe they are wondering why this lady doesn’t want to give them the work they’re supposed to do or doesn’t trust them. You’re all part of a team and when you start working together more, you’ll be more comfortable with things that they produce – and you won’t have to explain that much every single time, eventually.
Coach Laura
+1 for the team concept.
Bossy = job security for admins.
Suggestion for fear of explaining wrong, would it help to compose an email? That way you have time to think through – in your own mind – what needs to be done. It may help you see “gaps” in what you’re asking if you have time to write it out and may fit your learning style better. Perhaps that would help with your knowledge too.
Maddie Ross
As an attorney, it’s not necessarily a question of whether you can do it faster or not, but whether it’s billable or not. Really, that’s just a question of mindset and an important one to get over if you’re in a firm of any size (and it sounds like you are). Don’t worry that you’re being perceived as “bossy” because you’re asking an assistant for help. I agree with Anonny above about watching what others do – although I would suggest just senior people in general, not just men – and see how they interact.
Anonymous
To be blunt, you need to get over it. It does get easier with time and age.
With respect to 1) you are the boss. Be polite, be courteous, but you are the superior of all the assistants who support you and it is their job to do tasks you assign so don’t worry about being bossy. If you’re working with someone you haven’t worked with before, I think it’s nice to send a quick email introducing yourself. Nothing overly personal, but just “Hi I’m Jane. I’m working with Partner X on this matter, and he told me that you’re working on this file as well. I look forward to working with you” or something like that.
I feel you on 2) as I often did not give work to an assistant because it was faster to do it myself. That said, if your firm has a policy that assistants must do certain tasks I’d say it’s pretty important that you not do them yourself and that you delegate. I’d look to more senior associates for guidance on delegating to assistants within your firm’s policy. Also if you can bill for reviewing their work, it might be a better use of your time to explain + review (even if it takes longer in total and only part of it is billable) than doing it yourself and having to not bill any of the time.
anon
+1, esp to point 1
Cat
Remember that it may well take longer to explain than to do yourself the first few times, but in the long run, you’ll come out ahead timewise.
Anonymous
Eh, depends on the assistant.
SC
I had an assistant who had to be told every. single. little. thing and did not remember previous instructions when she repeated tasks. It was like she was trying to get out of having to do work by doing it poorly. She had over 20 years of experience as a legal assistant. I have a new assistant with no previous experience as an assistant, let alone in legal. She is enthusiastic and a quick learner. Of course I’ve had to teach her how to do things and correct her on some things. But I’m 100% convinced that it will save me time in the long run, which was definitely not the case before. Plus she is pleasant to interact with, which helps.
stormtrooper
There was an article published by the Woman Advocate Committee of the ABA Section of Litigation on this exact topic a few years back. It had a lot of useful tips.
+1 to if its nonbillable, it goes to the assistant. That’s the guide someone told me when I started, making it a lot easier for me to figure out whether I should do it or delegate it.
Also, investing the time to explain how you want something will save you soooo much time in the future. You’ll want partners to take the time to teach you, as opposed to doing it themselves because it is faster, and the same is true with assistants that you work with.
I think if you are polite and clear, you’ll be fine. It’s in the delivery. “Get this typed now, now, now without a single mistake ever!!” is way different than “Please type this by Wednesday. Thanks.”
mascot
+1 to polite, clear and willing to explain. These are the same things your appreciate from your superiors. Also, emergencies happen, but don’t make everything a fire drill. The earlier you can get something to your assistant to do, the better. Dumping something on his or her desk at 5 pm and expecting your assistant to miss their bus when you have had the markup on your desk since that morning isn’t cool. Your assistant will resent it and your firm will get irritated that you’ve now just added unnecessary overtime pay.
cbackson
One thing that really helps is to ask your assistant what she typically does for other attorneys that she supports. For example, mine schedules my travel, handles coordination when I have multiple meeting requests that all need to get calendared, does my expenses, does almost all my printing (particularly if it’s a big set of documents), assembles closing sets (which my junior associate reviews), handles mailings, etc.
Things she does for other people but not for me: proofing, answering the phone (she only does that if I’m on calls or out of town).
This is less critical now, but as you get busier, having your assistant take care of these tasks will be a lifesaver.
ITDS
This is good advice. Plus, if the assistant is not new to the firm, they may already know how to do whatever it is you need! You are most likely not training someone with a HS diploma from scratch.
TBK
It just feels uncomfortable because you’re not used to it. Think of it this way — If you’re in a restaurant and you want a glass of water, do you feel weird asking the server to get it? No, because you’ve probably gone to restaurants your whole life and are used to making requests of waitstaff. Even if you could see the water pitcher and it would be faster for you to go pour yourself the water, would you do it? Probably not (unless the server was MIA and then you’d probably be annoyed at having to do it yourself). Do you feel bossy when you say “I’ll have the chicken, please” or “could you bring the check when you have a minute”? Then you shouldn’t feel bossy saying “could you please input the changes I’ve marked up on this draft and then email the tracked-changes version to me?”
Anonattorney
I guess I have a different approach. As much as I would like to agree with the poster who said “just do what the men do,” I don’t think it’s realistic. A lot of the old-guard male attorneys interact with their assistants in a way that I wouldn’t want to replicate.
So, that said, here is what I do currently. I am a senior litigation associate (some advice may not apply to transactional practice). When I started, I approached my assistant as someone who could help me figure out how to actually practice as a lawyer. I considered her on my “team.” I was humble and realized that she knew a lot of things that I knew nothing about, and that I needed to treat her with respect. When I was asked to do a task I hadn’t done before, I asked my assistant how she handled similar tasks for other lawyers. If she was going to file something, I asked to see how she did it so I would know how it was done (and to know how to check if it was done correctly in the future). I also asked her to get and give me intel on how different partners liked their finished product. If Partner X liked memos in a specific format, I made sure to have my assistant get my work product into that format.
As I developed a good rapport with my assistant, it became easier for me to be more authoritative about what I wanted her to do. Because I took the time to understand what she did and what she knew, she was more comfortable with and receptive to constructive criticism from me.
Now, my assistant and I meet weekly to discuss my calendar. She prints out a list of important appointments and projects due that week. She makes shells for everything I write. If it’s something that I do often, she will write the first draft based on my previous work product and I will made edits. She signs me up for CLEs and marketing events and tracks all CLE credit. She tracks all my marketing receipts. She proofreads most of my writing for obvious errors. She schedules meetings for me within and outside of the firm (i.e., “get in touch with X’s assistant and find a time for us to meet next week.”) She makes lunch reservations (if business related). There’s more, but it’s probably all litigation-related.
Yes Yes Yes
Also in litigation and I totally cosign this whole response.
Mimicking the way my crusty, old white guy bosses interact with their secretaries would mean silly time consuming dictation, piles of little tapes that result, and yelling from their desks across the halls to get their attention. It’s just not a viable way to become a team with your secretary these days.
Baconpancakes
Shopping fast this month. So many cute vests and sweater dresses I can’t buy! Arggg. Commiseration/words of support?
Your November bank balance
You are my hero.
Wedding food
So we are seriously considering a wedding/reception venue that does not have a kitchen and doesn’t really have the ability to have any type of mobile kitchen/food truck type set up.
Have any of you faced this for your wedding? I’m really excited about our potential venue, and not really worried about the lack of kitchen because I figure we can choose tasty food options that are all best served room-temperature or cold (rather than serving best-hot food room temperature), but is this a crazy idea?
Anon
We almost did this for our wedding (eloped instead). It was going to work out fine, but I would talk with your caterer to make sure you have food options that you are happy with. We were going to do a brunch buffet with items that the caterer could either bring over right before so they would be warm, or that would be normal cold (or both – even if our “warm” items cooled down, it wouldn’t be weird).
Our venue did work with 2 caterers exclusively, so both had experience with that process and with the venue specifically. I would recommend asking the venue what they recommend in terms of catering.
Nelly
Yeah, a little crazy. Even food that can be served at room temperature needs refrigeration before & after. Stuff can’t just be left out indefinitely. 2 hours is about the max.
http://www.fsis.usda.gov/wps/portal/fsis/topics/food-safety-education/get-answers/food-safety-fact-sheets/safe-food-handling/danger-zone-40-f-140-f/CT_Index
New Anon
You may not have the ability to do this for reasons of vendor-booking logistics, but you’ll likely get the most accurate info from the caterer you eventually use. As a general matter, I do think it’s possible–I went to a wedding at a kitchen-less facility earlier this summer, and it worked out well with a pasta buffet (food was served warm but not piping hot)–but my suspicion is that Caterer A may do this all the time and have no problem while Caterer B has just never done a kitchen-less venue before and could really struggle to change whatever its typical routine is (even with dishes that should be very feasible without an on-site kitchen).
My only other note is to consider that no kitchen probably means no refrigerator and that you or your caterer will have to deal with that in terms of not only chilling beverages/ice, but also in terms of keeping food at a safe temperature before its served. Again, very doable, but maybe best done by a caterer who’s already got a system (and an enormous pile of coolers) for how it’ll all work.
MNF
I go to a (cocktail attire level of fancy) party every year where all of the food is cold/room temperature. There are a million salads (think seafood salads of every variety, grain salads, etc.), tons of roasted vegetables and all kinds of cold meats and fish. I always look forward to the food (which is catered by a great local restaurant). I think it helps that it’s in the summer and feels very Mediterranean.
My vote is do what you want, as long as there’s plenty to eat for everyone. (Also, don’t worry about food safety if your caterer agrees to do the event – they’ll know what they can and can’t do).
Anonymous
This is cray. No one wants to come celebrate you with cold food. It’s like falling in love with a place with no bathrooms. How can you LOVE a place that doesn’t fulfill basic needs?!?
Wedding food
Duly noted (and apologies in advance if you’re on our relatively-short guest list).
Anonattorney
Have you been watching Project Greenlight? :)
Wedding food
I haven’t – I don’t know what that is, actually.
Anonattorney
Ah, HBO series about making movies. Effie Brown, producer extraordinaire, and founder of Duly Noted, Inc., likes to use the phrase “duly noted.”
Anonymous
Duly noted is a pretty popular phrase?
Anonattorney
Wasn’t trying to offend anyone! Just thought I found a kindred spirit who liked Project Greenlight. My mistake.
Anonymous
You asked! No need to be snippy. It’s cray. But, please share your delicious menu of cold foods?
I will say, if you’re doing like a 2-5 thing I could see this being lovely, but not at meal time.
Wedding food
We haven’t set the timing yet (or the date…or anything). But in general, we’re thinking super casual and laid-back, so 2-5 wouldn’t be out of the question.
2 Cents
ha! One place I fell in love with that was quickly struck off the list had 1 bathroom (as in 1 room with one toilet) in the entire place. Um, no thanks.
Wedding food
So this place has two bathrooms (as in two rooms, each with a single toilet). However, we’ll probably have ballpark 30 guests, so I’m not too concerned.
Anonymous
I’m generally of the mind that the bride & groom should have the wedding they want and not worry about the guest’s preferences but the ability to refrigerate and heat food seems important – as someone mentioned above even food that is typically served at room temperature (e.g. sandwiches) should not be left out all afternoon for food safety reasons. Could you have your ceremony at your dream venue and then go somewhere else with a kitchen for the reception?
Renee
I’m of the exact opposite opinion. If you’re going to invite people and they’re going to go to expense to attend your wedding, you should think about their comfort and enjoyment. Food, alcohol and entertainment are most valued by guests! Otherwise, elope and get married wherever is meaningful to just the two of you. There are tons of great venues! This can’t be the only one. Decide what’s great about it and keep looking for something that checks ALL the boxes. I know it’s stressful to find a venue, but so is running around at the last minute trying to make something work that isn’t designed to work…
Maddie Ross
I’m of the exact opposite opinion. If you’re going to invite people and they’re going to go to expense to attend your wedding, you should think about their comfort and enjoyment. Food, alcohol and entertainment are most valued by guests! Otherwise, elope and get married wherever is meaningful to just the two of you. There are tons of great venues! This can’t be the only one. Decide what’s great about it and keep looking for something that checks ALL the boxes. I know it’s stressful to find a venue, but so is running around at the last minute trying to make something work that isn’t designed to work…
DCR
And now I want to have my wedding at a beach island that is accessible only by boat
anon
From above – we planned a wedding at a public library.
LawDawg
If the venue is normally used for weddings, I’m sure that they can provide guidance for what types of foods work. Also, depending on the size of the event, it’s not a big deal to have trays brought from a caterer and kept warm with sterno, etc. People do that all of the time.
Most important – this is your wedding and you should do what feels right for you. Don’t worry about whether people expect to have certain types of foods. As long as you are happy with what you can serve, then it’s appropriate.
SC
I went to a casual afternoon wedding with about 30-50 guests where there was no kitchen. The family ordered bbq (it was in North Carolina), served it buffet-style, and kept it warm with sternos. The groom’s mother is in public health and, in a charming and self-deprecating way, made a “last call” for food after it had been out for a while. By then, everyone had eaten and nobody minded. So, yes, it can work for a small wedding.
I think there was a very small kitchen with an inexpensive refrigerator/freezer where bags of ice could be stored for drinks and a counter where things could be cut or prepped. As someone mentioned above, that could be important for beverages.
Sydney Bristow
This is what we did as well. Granted, we were at my parents house so we did have a kitchen. We didn’t necessarily need it though. We had the BBQ food delivered and set up during the ceremony. Hot stuff in chafing dishes with sterno heat and cold stuff on ice. It worked out really well actually.
The kitchen did come in handy so we could save leftovers though.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Sydney Bristow
Oh and for drinks we kept bottled beer and white wine chilled in cheap coolers on ice and had a clean cooler full of ice for water.
Aunt Jamesina
Can you do buffet-style with sterno warmers? Your caterer can deliver the food shortly before it’s time to eat, and it will remain hot for a long time.
Tights
Any recommendations for opaque or very slightly sheer black tights that are good for shorter-waisted ladies? Having issues with the tights I’m wearing today, when I’m standing they basically come up to the bottom of my bra but when I’m sitting they bunch up around my middle… Help!
Renee
I love Simply Vera Wang at Kohls. Great for the price. I’m 5’6 and the size 2 hits at my natural waste. I bet size 1 would work well for ladies more petite than me.
Jennifer Almarine
As someone with super broad shoulders (we’re talking manly broad) I’ve abhorred suits in the past because they just accentuate the broadness of my shoulders and I have to buy two different sizes for my top and bottom. Do any of you have suit recommendations that would minimize the breadth of my shoulders?
Coach Laura
Jennifer – sometimes a tailor can remove shoulder pads and replace with a thinner less obvious pad. If you shop at a place with in-house tailors (Brooks Brothers, Nordstroms, etc) you could ask.
Anona
Get your jackets tailored and avoid shoulder pads.
Lobbyist
I’ve got a similar build and I like fewer buttons (1 is better than 2 or 3) and 0 buttons is even better. Those kind of jackets hang better and make me look less like a linebacker. The traditional suit jacket that looks like a mans jacket is not my friend but the more modern styles work better. That said, I rarely get full on suits, jackets and pants or jackets and dresses work better.
interview bag help!
Hello!
Does anyone have a great bag for interview with a black sheath suit? I need some room to throw my flats in there, plus a pad folio. I would love if it was under 100 and amazon would be a plus!
Aurora
Not sure if you want a black bag that matches your sheath suit or some other color, but if you’re looking for a basic, cleanly structured black bag to bring to interviews, I swear by my Women in Business Thoroughbred tote: http://www.amazon.com/Women-Business-Thoroughbred-Laptop-Tote/dp/B001LNMZ94/ref=sr_1_1?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1444877793&sr=1-1&keywords=women+in+business+thoroughbred+tote. It’s slightly over $100 on Amazon (although you may be able to find it for cheaper if you Google around).t
Although I can’t speak to the brand, this under-$100 Kattee tote also caught my eye while I was looking for the tote above. The “Customers Also Bought” collection on that page also has some great looking options. http://www.amazon.com/Kattee-Womens-Genuine-Leather-Shoulder/dp/B00KIBVCIA/ref=sr_1_15?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1444877733&sr=1-15&nodeID=7141123011&keywords=women+in+business+bag
interview bag help!
Thank you! The thoroughbred tote looks great and didn’t come up in my searches- I like that it is fabric. (I like leather but at my price point it is usually fake or looks fake).