Suit of the Week: The Fold

64 Comments

1. Not sure exactly what I want, but posting a pattern that has shown up a lot over the last few months.

   TLDR: How do you raise your hand as the expert because you are so far above whoever is bumbling their way through something that they can’t even grasp the gaps?

   I’ve tried the usual ways: Noting that my team handles these tasks, sharing pages and vendor agreements that show we’ve got all the budget/process/skills/etc., asking my boss to suggest that I handle something and then I agree that I should do it, etc.

   I think the crux of the issue is the overall power dynamics in our company, but it’s maddening to watch another team bash around trying to solve a problem in the most convoluted way, and then getting pulled in at the last minute to clean it up.

   This has happened 5x since January, and every time me/my team gets involved, we fix it immediately, and everyone is so grateful. They all agree that we should just run it, should be included earlier, are the experts… and yet…

   I’m now walking the fine line of NOT saying, “I told you so” or being arrogant, but come on. Quit running around creating chaos instead of asking the actual experts!

   1. A few things come to mind:
      – what happened when you talked to your boss about this? Did they follow through with your suggestion?
      – what’s the impact on your team – does this pull them away from other work, result in overtime/overruns, etc?
      – is this the kind of environment where you can openly discuss the pattern with the culprits?
      If it’s ultimately not a huge impact on your team, and it’s not the kind of place you can talk openly about it … it might just be the way things are. I’m hoping not and that you can make some changes.

   2. Do other teams know you exist and understand your expertise? Should you lead a training where you introduce yourself and your capabilities to other teams? Should you set up a portal where teams can formally submit requests to you with a ticketing system so it feels like a legit process and not just a favor? Can people find information about your team on the company intranet and your contact information if they search? Could you share recent examples of your work in an internal company newsletter?

   3. In lieu of saying, “I told you so,” I have often used a stoically delivered, “I think we should write this one up as a lesson learned.”

   4. I don’t know your level or role but if it’s support, you need to actively “sell” your services. Connect regularly with the people who come to you too late and make a seat at the table for yourself and your team. You can’t wait for people to bring you problems.

   5. This happens a lot at my org. I work on a team of ICs/SMEs. Our broad responsibilities are the same but our expertise varies and we work closely with another team that creates a lot of fire drills and fires for us to put out. Think a company selling 10 products and my team is comprised of 10 product specialists and the sales team is responsible for selling all 10 products. Sales is supposed to loop the proper SME in from my team at the outset of a deal so we can help guide and advise the client. They frequently fail to do so and share wrong information with prospective clients, make promises we cannot deliver, etc. Sales is king at my company, and although my team’s leader frequently offers feedback to the sales leaders on this type of thing, my team has come to accept that we will never completely solve this. Ultimately, my team is really good at cleaning up the messes so sales doesn’t have a ton of incentive to change.

      What has helped:
      – As the SME for my product, I periodically visit all the sales teams during their weekly team meetings (like 1-2x per year) and gave a quick presentation on my product, use cases, common issues we see from clients, etc. I highlight a couple of successful deals with members of their team and explained how the seller and I worked together to close the deal. Doing this allowed me to develop more credibility with the entire sales team and demonstrate that I could be a valued and helpful partner.
      – When I got looped in too late and had to clean up a mess, I had a friendly 1-1 chat with the seller about how I suggest going about it next time. I don’t assign blame, I frame it as, “here’s how I’ve seen these deals run really smoothly before, excited to work with you again, let’s try it this way next time.”
      – Every time I work with a new seller, I do a quick expectations-setting convo about how we can partner best together based on our working styles. As part of that, I share what I need to work best, e.g., please copy me on the client comms so if xyz issue crops up, I can jump in immediately and the deal can move quickly.

      It took time but doing these things did help me develop a reputation as a true SME for my product and strong partner to sales, leading to promotions, new opportunities, and most relevant here, sellers actually involving me in deals when they should so we can avoid all those messes.

   6. Honestly? Just capacity plan for two times per month fire drills of this nature. Agree in advance what projects/tasks get pushed back when these issues pop up. If it’s causing significant disruption, then argue to hire another person so it’s easier to balance all obligations.

   7. These are all good suggestions, and we’ve done the tour of team meetings and town halls to promote our expertise and our work. I’m trying to raise this with my manager to get in front of it for next quarter and beyond, but it just gets old repeating ourselves, cleaning up the mess, doing a retro on how other teams need to stop going rogue, etc.

      Maybe I should escalate to my Grandboss to tell her peers that their underlings continue to go rogue and it wreaks havoc on budgets, timelines, and deliverable quality.

      1. It kind of sounds like that’s your job, though. If it happens often and nobody else cares, I think you just accept that’s why you’re there.

   8. Is it consistently the same team trying to do it themselves and creating messes; or a different team each time?

      1. Different teams, though we have some repeat offenders. These are the ones that I’ve escalated to my direct boss, but might be worth escalating to Grandboss, since the offending teams don’t really experience any consequences for the chaos. They experience the chaos itself, but no consequences for causing the chaos.

2. Private practice. In my second year of partnership. Eye-opening to realize how little I knew about billing and collecting as an associate – my firm does associates a service by saying “don’t worry about it,” but then also does us a disservice by promoting us with zero training, support, or clear expectations. Are there any on demand cles or trainings about billing, collections, etc.? My state bar association does not offer any (small state). My state ethics rules align with the ABA model rules. I asked a senior partner who laughed and said it’ll take 5-10 years to get the hang of it. I would like some actual help before then! Links, real life experience, things you learned all helpful! If it matters, we have electronic timekeeping software but everyone prints hard copy bills each month, I have to send them or my assistant sends, accounting does not help us collect.

   1. Following with interest – I’m in essentially the same boat. I’m lucky to have an accounting department who helps (we’re a boutique but not teeny), but it’s been a learning curve to be sure.

   2. This is sadly so common in law firms. I’m in a similar boat, and always feel unsure about the best strategy, but what has helped me the most is being friendly with a more senior partner who is very willing to be a sounding board. I’ll ask him “hey this client wants to engage us but want a 25% discount on our rates, can we do that?” and things like that. Every firm is so different so I don’t think a general CLE would be that useful.

      Also for collections, we have hired a guy whose job it is to chase clients. I loop him in to be the bad guy when my clients are very overdue.

   3. This is more of a client relations issue than anything else. There’s accuracy of course, but after that, you have to look at what’s reasonable to charge, the client’s preferences, your firm’s strategy, your own biz dev strategy, etc. It’s not a topic that lends itself to CLE. Talk to the partners that are rainmakers for tips and your friends who are in-house and hiring you.

   4. Off the wall suggestion: Massachusetts CLE (mcle.org) is great. Since MA doesn’t have required CLEs, the company has to put out really high quality and useful courses to entice people to take them.

      There is a billing course. Massachusetts follows a lot of ABA model rules, so there’s that.

3. PSA J Crew Factory has some curvy cut loose but not horribly loose denim. Of course the ones in my store were cropped but I’m short and they aren’t too cropped. But they fit so well up top!

4. Looking to redo my office and hoping to get some peel-and-stick wallpaper. My office has a lot of natural light and beautiful wood trim that’s close to dark walnut. Any suggestions?

   1. Kindly, buy art or real wallpaper and skip the peel and stick wallpaper. It has been more of a pain to remove than actual wallpaper. I know it has theoretically been ok for some people, but it has never been work the hassle for me.

      1. Same. I tensed up at the thought. it is actually hard to put up, too, because if it is not positioned perfectly, it is very hard to reposition it or get an air bubble out. I have it only in my laundry closet, where the imperfections are hidden, but I’d never do it again or in a more prominent place

      2. +1 – do real wallpaper. Peel and stick is manufactured by the devil.

   2. I’m currently looking at wallpaper for my new place and Spoonflower lets you buy samples and they’ve got, like, thousands of patterns. The samples come as peel and stick, but they also have other options for the full rolls. I will say with the peel and stick samples I have, I have noticed some of them starting to lift at the corners – that may be because I’ve moved them around a bit, but not that much.

      1. +1. We did our nursery in spoonflower wallpaper and had a great wallpaper guy put it up. He said spoonflower was a great product and recommended the “nonpasted” version, which he pasted and hung.

         1. Another +1 for Spoonflower – our bold powder room is from there. We also bought non-pasted.

         2. https://www.spoonflower.com/en/fabric/10348780-blue-tropical-rainforest-by-j9design?sku=fbty-pf-yd-f130

5. Restarting the thread from this morning about how to invest a chunk of money, since I’m late to the party. There was an interesting article in the NYT a few weeks back (probably Sunday Business section from early February), asserting that any stock fund following the S&P 500 is no longer considered diversified because the S&P 500 is so tech heavy that a few tech stocks now comprise a considerable majority of the total value. I’m a VTSAX fan myself.

   1. I saw that — a huge chunk of my investments is S&P index funds… or in Apple, Google, Meta, Microsoft. Sigh. Trying to buy more international funds but I feel like VT encompasses the S&P

      1. I’m sure S&P 500 is tech heavy, but I also think it’s a reasonable place to park your money if you have a long-term time frame. If you are the kind of person who overthinks things and gets paralyzed and then does nothing, just try to make a reasonable choice. S&P is one option. There are others as well.

   2. I’m also a VTSAX fan, but it’s 80 something % the same as the S&P 500, so I think the concerns about it being overweighted on tech still apply, just to a slightly lesser degree.

   3. These days I have more international and bond funds/money market because of the volatility and unclear future with Trump on board and high proportion of likely overvalued tech stocks. But yes, following the total US stock market/VTSAX may be slightly better than the S&P 500, but both are highly weighted in tech and in a few companies. But review of history also shows that there are other times when the stock market was heavily weighted in a few companies, but the industries were certainly not tech. Things sort out over time. So if your horizon is long, don’t worry too much.

6. Does anyone else work at a company with a very involved annual review process (such as a big 4 firm)? Any commiseration or advice? It’s going fine so far. I think i just have to “keep swimming,” but to be honest, my role isn’t that transformative, and it feels like BS to go into SO much detail about my impact.

   1. Not scientific but I normally front load everything into the first question or two; then rely heavily on see above. In our process, having a bullet point list of your five biggest accomplishments is also helpful – preferably with dollar amounts. And, when in doubt writing think, what would a mediocre middle aged overgrown frat boy say if he was writing it.

   2. Use AI.

7. Piggybacking on the thread above re investing…. We generally have a long-term investing strategy of stock index funds and bond funds with an asset allocation that reflects our long time horizon and risk tolerance. Mid-40s, kids’ 529s fully funded, house paid off, retirement accounts maxed out and emergency fund is set. I’m expecting a six figure bonus in March. After taxes, we can throw the full amount into savings/investments. I know the typical advice is not to time the market etc, but what would you do if you have a large chunk of cash to invest right now? I’m really worried about the timing in light of the war in Iran and current political and economic climate. Part of me wants to park it in money market or treasuries but the other part of me thinks we should just continue to invest in line with our current asset allocation. Not sure if the tried and true advice still holds up these days. Also, I’m burnt out and really hoping to retire early, so maybe our time horizon is shorter than we’ve been planning on. What would you do?

   1. you are well ahead of the game. there are some insurance products that could make sense for you. thats what we did recently with some “extra” cash, though our house is not even close to paid off but our mortgage rate is so low it doesn’t really make sense to do that

   2. There’s no hurry. Give yourself a little time to think it through.

      This year – certainly as long as we are at war and tariffs are in limbo – there will be a lot of volatility. If you are thinking of retiring a bit early, I would review all your numbers to see exactly what your allocations are (US/international/bonds/money market), and sit down with your husband and talk about your retirement goals again. If you want to retire earlier, you may want to shift your allocation to have a bit more in bonds/money market.

      So just put it into a money market fund (or a municipal bond fund since it sounds like you are in a high tax bracket, as that may minimize your taxes) for now, and think it through.

      1. And FYI – if you do decide to put it into MMF/Bonds, you should ideally shift your holdings around so that you have your Bonds in your deferred tax accounts (traditional IRA/401k) and you have your stocks/index ETFs (ideally one with low capital gain distributions – like VTI) in your brokerage accounts to minimize your taxes, especially since you are in a high tax bracket.

   3. So I live off my base salary and my bonuses are in the low to mid six figures each year. I get one lump bonus a year. I take all of it except for $40k (which we earmark for family vacations) and put it directly into my fidelity investment account and purchase index funds. Drop it and leave it. Don’t over think this and don’t go for bonds. Women as a whole tend to take less risk which impacts women’s financial security even when we are comparing apples to apples (same income, career progression, ect.). I’ve been doing this for the past ten years starting when my salary was only $65k and my bonuses were $10,000 and now I’ll be able to retire at 45 if I wish to do so.

      1. Hi, I feel like I have a financial twin – I have a very similar compensation structure and approach, and started when I was a law clerk. It’s also worked out really well for me.

      2. OP here. This is similar to my approach over the past 15-ish years and it has served me really well so far. I’m wondering though, is this time different due to geopolitical and other economic issues. This is first time in my adult working lifetime that we started a war. Plus, the size of my bonus is larger now than it was when I started out, so dropping six figures into equities feels riskier now.

   4. I really don’t mean to sound snarky and maybe you have specific circumstances (family you anticipate needing to support etc) but you are do far ahead of the game, why not consider donating a large chunk if that or setting up a DAF?

   5. Buying on sale is better than paying full price. Why keep it in cash just to pay more if you wait to invest later?

8. Can some phrase this more tactfully for me? “I will do the piece of the project you’re asking me to handle right now, but will not be your SME for that issue going forward.”

   I don’t care if the recipient internalizes it; I just want an email to forward when the time comes. Major weaponized incompetence going on.

   1. what’s your role vs. the recipient’s?

      1. Attorneys. She’s trial counsel; I’m not even of record.

         1. Where do you both stand in the firm hierarchy? If she isn’t capable of taking this to trial, that’s a problem.

            1. She’s a partner, I’m an associate. She could handle a trial if everyone else wrote her motions, did her research, printed her exhibits, etc., but she refuses to learn how to use basic tech. I’m happy to do spot research in the moment but don’t want to own that piece of the case 6 months (let alone have to write emails she can copy and paste) simply because she refuses to learn Westlaw and is a slow typer.

            2. uh, if you think you’re the only associate who’s grumbled behind a partner’s back this way… sorry. This is part of the job. A partner at my old firm had his assistant print his emails for him so he could read them in hard copy.

               If you have plenty of hours and want to look like a team player, maybe try suggesting someone at a lower billable rate that could do that work. A paralegal already staffed on the case?

   2. This is where AI excels, give it any sentence and tell it to be more polite utilizing corporate jargon and you get perfectly PG yet savage output

   3. Thanks, Jim. I’m happy to handle reviewing the Smith Report this month, but in the future, this is something Janet’s team typically handles / something each team typically handles on their own.

9. Hopefully fun question: what’s the best gift you could get from a travel advisor/agent? $50 price range. Many hotels let me order a bottle of wine or a fruit or dessert plate for clients and put it in the room with a nice note, but not every hotel has that option and many of my clients travel to all-inclusive resorts where food and alcohol are unlimited and free-flowing so giving them more food or alcohol doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense. I thought about spa gift certificates especially for clients who’ve expressed an interest in spa treatments, but my budget won’t typically cover a full treatment and I hate giving someone a gift certificate they have to pay to use (though maybe it’s ok if they were clear they intend to use the spa either way?). I know a lot of old school travel agents give their clients branded swag like luggage tags, but physical stuff feels outdated to me in 2026 and I get the sense many of my clients don’t want more stuff – and I totally get it, I wouldn’t either! Any other brilliant ideas? What would you most appreciate?

   1. An external battery pack/charger for my phone, with your branding on it, would never be unwelcome. Bonus if it has USB and USB-C options.

   2. A hotel candle from where I’m staying to take home.

   3. paying for a load of laundry to be done by the resort, if it’s a longer stay

      snack basket of healthy treats delivered on departure day (for the airport / flight)

      pass to VIP lounge at either home or destination airport, if guests don’t already have access by virtue of airline status

      1. Thanks! I love the lounge idea but a lot of times the airline clubs aren’t accepting one time passes due to capacity, so I fear it would go to waste.

      2. oh and on the electronic side, plug adapters for the local country, extra-long multi-charger cords (like the kind that have different shapes attached to the same cord), small spare battery, small phone tripod for taking non-selfie photos together…

         1. Oooh, plug adapters are a good one. I travel a lot and yet still never seem to have enough for whatever country I’m going to and need to buy one. Maybe one of the universal ones that also has the USB plug options?

            1. Oh yeah to the version that is adapter + USB shapes. Having to do the combo of adapter + US-shaped-plug is always awkward and wants to fall out of the wall socket due to weight.

         2. As a counterpoint, I have several plug adapters and really, really wouldn’t use another one so maybe give your clients a couple of options? I must say it is lovely of you to think of gifting, though!

      3. Wow, great ideas.

         1. Umbrellas. Good quality.

   4. Cute canvas totes. Any size. They always get used.

   5. At your pricepoint – the Sea to Summit ultra light packable backpack is great, really high quality and useful for most people.

      Smaller stuff: Sunscreen or aloe gel for warm place? Hand warmer packs if it’s a cold place.

   6. I’m late to this party but: can you somehow have breakfast bagels or similar waiting when they arrive home? We took a friend’s kid with us on vacation for a week and the BEST gift was when we dropped him off and his mom brought out a homemade meal for us to take home as a thank you. Took the guesswork out of making our first meal back home.

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